As a trans guy I think I can confidently say without being a pick me that *I really was not like other girls*

The minute men start assigning women numbers “she was a 3 or 4” I immediately shut down. That’s the nastiest thing. She’s a human being

The sundress story makes me so sad for her… she sounded so happy for him to get her a sun dress because he “likes them” just for him to tell her she’s not ready to wear one but he’s excited to see other girls in sun dresses.

The amount of times as a literal child that adult women accused me of going out of my way to get sexual attention from men... like are y'all okay??

"I'm not stupid enough to tell her she's overweight." LITERALLY IMPLIED THAT SHE'S OVERWEIGHT.

This is something that only recently came to light in my mind, but these men are grown adult men. They are not boys. Infantilizing them just keeps giving them a pass. I've come to realize that these types of men are not stupid. They know exactly what they're doing. I used to constantly call them "boys" as an insult, but lately I've been reminding myself that they DO know better, they are not children, and I need to face the sad and kind of terrifying reality of that. Lmao. Just wanted to share my thoughts on that.

13:36 1st story 22:36 2nd story 27:39 ad 29:15 listener write-in 37:46 3rd story 52:42 ad 54:02 4th story 1:08:39 5th story 1:18:27 6th story

Reverse pick me story: I was driving, and had a guy with me I was super into. I asked him to put on music and he put jazz. I love jazz, and said that too, even asked if he knew few songs I like. He grew quiet and then said "You know, it's quite annoying and not cute when you try to match my interests". Damn dude, lemme just like jazz... Then he tried to make me "prove I know jazz" (gatekeeping).

Group chat story: I hate that because she’s a woman she kind of gets a free pass. If a guy was doing this in a group chat it would be sexual harassment

the lance and anna story… has it ever occured to the sister that maybe she doesn’t know what lance wants at all? because anna seems to be exactly what he wants. 😂😂😂

Re the first story: Forget giving me pick me vibes, this gives me "It's CAllEd DaRk HumOr BrO" vibes.

The guy who said that he rates his friend’s girlfriend a 3 or 4 is so mean. The girl is probably gorgeous and a 10 in her man’s eyes. Beauty is soooo subjective and just because he thinks she’s ugly, that doesn’t mean she is AT ALL. Also, a fantastic personality makes someone so so soooo much more attractive. I’m glad that his friend stood up for the woman he loves and got out of that toxic group. The OP is an awful person.

first story: the thing is, he mentions they joke about "height, weight, etc". basically, all THEIR own attributes. they all "signed" up for the jokes by being a part of the group. E's girlfriend, J, is not their friend, she is not there to hear what they say, joke back at them, nothing. E is basically her representative and he's doing the absolutely right thing by no longer being a part of that friendship. side note, i like how there's no mention of the rest of the group's gfs. either their gfs are "10s" (yuck) or they don't have any. wonder which one it is...

Something to remember fellas... Just because you are no longer attracted to your wife/gf/s.o - does not mean someone else won't be. Careful what you wish for.

For that story about the jealous sister. You just *know* Lance hates OP, and probably was always annoyed with her. Not only is OP jealous of her sister Ann (I think?), but she also can't see a single admirable quality in her? "All Ann talks about is her looks." Is that really true? Or does she just not see her Ann as a person. Not to mention maybe the reason Lance is always quiet around her is because he's not comfortable with her, and never was.

I was listening to this episode and my husband overheard and said “what is a Pygmy girl?” 😂

For the girl commenting on how her sister dresses: as the wife of a "quiet" guy I can assure you we know our husbands, if we're saying something's up, we're not asking for your opinion on it.

My mom announced my pregnancy at my grandmas funeral (her mom). everyone cheered and was so happy. Mexican funerals aren’t super sad. We throw parties to celebrate the life that person lived. there’s usually music, alcohol, and dancing. i think the funeral story was a cultural difference like Morgan pointed out.

I think a pick me guy is a guy who is overly obsessed with being “the nice guy” and making sure every girl in his life knows he’s a feminist and thinks women deserve equal rights and other humans deserve equality.

One the first story: OP is annoyed at E for setting a standard, feels like E gets a special treatment by not having to deal with mean jokes.. why not raise the bar of how you treat others to the same standard? I bet OP is insecure and needs to do some soul-searching

As a former pick me, I want to humbly apologize to the entire world. 😂I’ve changed my ways

I feel like Morgan has lived 1000s lives. Every episode she has some relevant past job or story/experience. It’s great.

Honestly good on the first boyfriend. I know more than a few who would just laugh along but he stood up for his girlfriend. E babes, I wish you a long and happy marriage. Hopfully you find some actual friends.

First story: “they are just jokes” except they ALSO actually mean the shit they say. and newsflash: jokes are funny and if you find putting down another person as funny you are the worst type of human.

With the story about Lance I can only hear a therapist in a calming voice say: “I think we should unpack some things here. Why do you hate your sister? Why do you feel the need to yell you’re not in love with Lance? Do you have any nice hobbies?”

that last story was insane. I feel bad for girls who have pick me roomates like them. that girl had the audacity to tell her roomate to stay out of the "common area" and basically hide, and then continued to insult her after she complied. take that as a lesson ladies, even if you dim your shine for others they'll still take digs at you so you should have never dimmed your light at all

Oh my gosh! The boobs thing, YES! I overheard a coworker complaining about how “inappropriate” my shirts were when half the women in department were wearing VERY low cut shirts. I was wearing a V-neck with a tank top under it. I just have boobs. Can’t control it.

My husband's ex-friend who was in his late 20s threw a literal tantrum when he was told he couldn't insult me. Husband gave him two options that he could either talk on topics that did not involve me or not be his friend anymore. This 28 year old man couldn't understand this, he called their other friends and told them how I was "making" my husband break friendship over "little things" and how "he could no longer "joke", how I had "completely taken over his friendship" etc. Finally after a year of his continuing to start every conversation with insulting me (and husband reminding him of the boundary -> him throwing the fit and the conversation ending there), husband finally blocked him and every other guy who had the audacity to get involved and tell him to be ok with the insults to his wife.

I think what makes someone a pick-me is when they put down other women/men to make themselves appear better. Ex. "Oh, she's just a cheerleader. Cheerleaders are so preppy. I'm way too cool to be her."

On the last story I would've turned around and said very calmly: "I'm sorry you're insecure and that's why you're trying to make me feel the same but the only reason I'm eating takeout every night it's because you said yourself that your boyfriend is talking about my body and even though it's my home too, it's gross and I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own place 🙂" and go happy

That first guy.... the thing everyone is missing is the group wasnt making fun of the friend, they were making fun of his partner, who is NOT in the group and did NOT sign up for this dynamic. Everyone keeps saying "we joke about each other" but this isn't about "each other," this is about someone else. This dude doesn't see his friends partner as her own person, just an extension of his friend (gross, first of all) who isn't worthy of the general respect you'd give someone outside your group. The friend has every right to be upset about his friends mocking and basically bullying his partner, because the partner did NOT sign up for this at all nor is she included in the "banter".

Funeral story: I also think the fact that the husband/partner didn’t find out before she announced to everyone else is problematic.

The sundress guy is excited to see other women FOR SURE. hes also a misogynistic pos. If you dont like your partners body, break up. You dont have a right to tell someone to change their body. You arent a match, plain and simple.

Story 1: It isn't a joke if he literally thinks she's not good enough for his friend.

I'm told constantly that I need to dress "more like a mum" now I have two kids. I'm 27. But apparently now I'm not allowed to wear crop tops or bikinis anymore

That 'Justified Pettiness' would be a great pod topic

I recently showed my mom the “Basic Hygiene… Not So Basic” episode and she was ROLLING at Justin’s poop commentary. My dad and her are road-tripping for their anniversary and she plans on playing the pod in the car lmao. Glad to spread the wealth (but not the cheeks 😂) and loved this episode!!!

The third to last story…. My boyfriend had a “ girl friend” who acted exactly the same way. We all went to a hotel together one night bc we needed a place to crash after all hanging out and she’s like “omg (bfs name) remember when we stayed here together last time??” This was just the cherry on top of her whole pick me pie. He had to tell me later that it wasn’t the two of them- they were with a group of friends and nothing has happened between them. He ended up cutting her off after this sometime later but thinking about her still boils my blood

i think the thing with guys judging other guys gf’s appearances has to do with men getting their validation from other men. like men are always competing with each other for who has the hottest wife, the nicest car, etc. and it’s about their status in society that’s been rooted in misogyny

I agree that sometimes being called a “pick me” is inaccurate. But anyone who gets called out on shitty or inappropriate behavior that responds with “I can’t help that I’m like that” or “sorry you’re not any fun” is 100% a pick me. The group chat story was weird af, and that girl obviously has no social awareness

my best friend does certain things like a “pick-me”, for example, we have some guy friends and she will say things like “i can’t believe it took you that long to get ready, i could never care that much about how i look” or one time on my 21st birthday, she sat there with my boyfriend at the time and told him all the “embarrassing” things i did when we were broken up a few months ago, and it just came off hurtful to me and that she was trying to make me look like a more high maintenance, emotional girl than her to.. idk get their approval?? it was so weird and she always does it. even today, she posted stuff on her story after i was sad this week about said boyfriend ending things with me again, about how she needs to surround herself with people who are more successful and less sad. i wanna send her this episode and be like “omg you have to watch this, it’s so funny!” just to see if she will self reflect on the same behavior HAHA

That first story: the worst part is she’s probably super aware of it too, because people love to hate on women when they think the spouse or partner is more attractive. It reminds me of a KZfaqr I watch talking about how often she gets messages about how her husband must be gay because there’s no way he would find her attractive. It’s awful. Also idk if all these stories were about pick mes, just awful people? I conceptualize pick mes as people talking about how better they are than other men/women, not people who have non gender conforming interests (like enjoying strip clubs). Tara Mookney has awesome videos about pick me boys and girls.

I butt heads with my mom over the boob size thing too! She is an A cup and I'm a DD-DDD and she's gotten better about understanding that the presence of cleavage on me doesn't mean something is low cut, but it's still a struggle. She also was raised with a lot of catholic guilt haha so she has a lot of shame around bodies that I've tried to train her out of... I also continue to have to tell her that it's a lot more inappropriate of her to say "you shouldn't wear that around your father" than for me to wear something that's slightly revealing. Like he's my dad... He's not looking and shouldn't be.

Something I wanna say about the first story; OP complains that E is so funny and talkative but J is quiet and doesn't talk. Maybe his gf (J) doesn't want to talk to you! She probably got bad vibes from OP anyways and rightfully so!

Cause of this show, I’ve realized my mother is a huge Pick Me. Literally while I was getting teary eyed as my wife-to-be was walking down the aisle, my mom started waving her arms around to get my attention to mime that I should smile. Her distracting me broke me out of the moment, stopping me from crying which pissed me off and put a sour memory over the entire ceremony (this was not the first time she’s taken something big from me to put herself in the spotlight)

That first one is insane. My husband would rip someone apart if they made fun of my looks.

I had a “friend” who was always in competition with me. She thought I was “too fat” and “too ugly” to have the boyfriends I did. She got many of them to sleep with her and she’d go after every single one of my ex’s.

For the Funeral Story: It could be cultural differences and I’ve been to some funerals where that might’ve been an okay announcement to make. Family sees each other so infrequently. Etc etc. That being said OP KNEW the mood was somber. At a funeral you follow whatever that other cultures’ practices are. Not try and lighten it because it’s not as cheerful as you’d like.

The Lance story; 🤣🤣🤣 holy crap omg. She loves him so much. She’s loved him for years. She’s sooo sad to realize that he was looking past her all that time at her “hot sister”.

Funny how the guy in the first story says he doesn't really mean it when he literally said in his post he thinks his friends GF is uglier than him. As a teen I've only resorted to pick me behavior to either fit in or stop from being bullied. Its a brutal cycle.

The one about sun dress season: He is technically saying she is overweight by wanting to look at other women in sun dresses and not her, and telling her, "You're not ready yet."

Oh man! When my husband and I where first dating alot of his girl friends treated me like shit because they where some how possessive with him. So much drama. One once told me " I will always be in his life. Even if you don't like it" lol 😆 he dropped her and married me

the pick me girl stories, the ones like the story about her sister dating her friend.. really made me realize that i was a pick me girl in my teens ughhh

The sundress story makes me sad because it sounds like she wanted to get a new sundress because she wanted to do something nice for him :(

Okay I think you guys are not fully understanding what a pick me is. It's fine. A lot of people are using it incorrectly. A pick me girl is a girl or woman who weaponizes misogyny against other women in order to win favor/ praise from their desired partner. They often fall into "traditional" female roles, or in the complete opposite vein, shun things considered overly feminine to be "one of the boys". Both of these things aren't necessarily because they like those roles, although they might, but because of their internalized misogyny and belief that acting the way they do will attract a partner. Edit: common example of a pick me girl are those women that pop up in those "alpha male" podcasts For a **guy** to be a pick me, he would have to participate in and weaponize misandry against other men, in order to appeal to potential partners. Often, the kind of male feminists women complain about are in fact pick me men. That first guy isn't an example of a pick me, he's just an asshole.

The first story, J is absolutely beautiful to E and E was right in cutting his toxic friends off defending J.

I love Lauren. Every time she comes on I get this opinion that she would be a very great friend to have

The pregnancy announcement at the funeral is normal in my home/family. In our culture pregnancy after death is a blessing and actually a very proud moment & I’ve actually experienced 2 pregnancy announcements at a family member’s funeral, my tia passed and my cousin found out she was pregnant days before the funeral, she announced it there an it made the celebration of my aunts life an knowing her is family is still growing, we believe that out family member sent the baby. Death is celebrated in my culture we get blacked out drunk have a band, food everyone’s laughing, crying arguing. I don’t think that girl is a pick me just shes use to different family dynamics.

"thou shall not judge" has me rolling. Not quite the biblical text or translation, but it would make a cool crop top. Also, I have hated my experiences with some of my previous youth pastors who have shamed or made me and others feel insecure for being kids. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, Lauren.

I feel like with the pregnancy announcement one, it would’ve been way better to tell her husband in private and then ask him if it was OK to announce it at the funeral. He should know his family well enough to be able to make that call.

I love it when Lauren is around. She's so funny when she said she wanted to report the flight attended but didn't. I've been there girl😂😂

Omg that story about J& E OP: “oh our buddy HATES that we make fun of, bully, and insult his gf but we do it anyways cause we think it’s funny when there’s no humor just harm to it hahaha” E: “nah bye” OP: *surprised pikachu face*

the sundress story reminded me of when i told my boyfriend i was gonna work on my self esteem and then a few days later he called me ugly as a joke apparently and then after asked to buy him something. lol we broke up

omg yes, I'm categorized by coworkers as a "pick me" at work. They think I'm a pick me because they can't imagine anyone genuinely loving being a cashier and cleaning without having the intention of becoming a manager. I have zero intentions of pleasing my managers, zero intentions of making my coworkers look bad at their job, it's just that after years of working at professional jobs that I thought were the dream jobs for me or just jobs that I needed until I finally found the job that truly fulfills me. i used to work at a lab making clones for research, i used to work training horses, worked at restaurants, worked as a janitor, worked as a page at a library, etc. So while I was good at all my jobs, i didn't enjoy them. I just thought that everyone was miserable at their jobs and that jobs are called work because it's hard to do due to not being enjoyable. It wasn't until I helped an old lady do her groceries on my first day as a cashier that I realized, cashiering is the best job ever because she smiled and thanked me for helping her. then another customer started to worry about the total on her groceries and then I suggested to sign up her phone, email and birthday on the store's website to get a $5 coupon, a free reusable bag and a free tub of blue bell icecream. the sigh of relief she had gave me a high of feeling proud of my job. i love teaching kids how to count their money to do their first purchase, i love reading the small print to the elderly on products, I love carrying heavy stuff for disabled customers, i love meeting service dogs, i love how sparkly my register gets when i clean it, i love the excitement of finding a case of baby formula that hadn't been put up for a desperate mom finding food for her baby (that look of relief in their eyes is EVERYTHING to me). I do cashiering for that high. I even declined several offers to become a store manager because I don't want to give up my position as a cashier. Sure I do get occasionally a rude customer or two, but I'm so high from the smiles and pleasant talk from the other customers that their rude comments don't bother me at all. I'm even often found dancing and humming at my register from sheer happiness. I understand that it's not a job for everyone and that most people find retail to be torture but for me, cashiering feels like my calling and purpose in life. So no i don't do it to impress anyone, i don't even try to put down others. I'm just in my little bubble enjoying the social interactions of every day people.

I find the guy version of a pick me girl is the equivalent of a “nice guy”

Imo being "thick skinned" just means foregoing your own boundaries to make other people feel comfortable. I feel as if in the first story, op isn't 100% comfortable with some of the jokes being told but they want to be "thick skinned" so they suffer in silence. They're upset that E set a boundary and the whole group respected it (when he assumed they wouldn't go with it, which is why he never set any boundaries), while op has endured discomfort for a while. It's not E's fault that YOU decided not to set your boundaries so you can appease others.

For the Bran story.. My bf had a friend who was kind of weird and I DID ask them they both swore up and down that they’re just friends. I tried to be understanding and even cultivated a friendship with the girl… found out 2 days after our 7 year anniversary he’d been cheating with her. Always trust your gut guys

The way I understood the term pick me is that a woman will put other women down specifically to lift herself up and please the male gaze/male standards of what women should be like etc

Still on the first story but I’ve actually heard a lot of “uwu nice guys” referred to as pick me boys because, although they aren’t directly putting anyone down, they’re acting a specific way, usually a way that isn’t genuine, in order to get girls to “pick them”

So, this first story got to me! Rating people with numbers is so degrading! Talking down about someone's significant other is absolutely horrible! My fiancé won't let anyone bash me or say anything even remotely negative. He won't let anyone say anything degrading about any of his exes either despite some pretty bad break ups in the past. He states that they meant something to him at some point and he'll honor that and leave it in the past where it belongs. This makes me feel good because we have a daughter together and she sees both her parents treat each other with respect, what more can a lady ask for!? J is lucky to have a stand up guy like E and OP is just mad that E drawing a line for some basic human respect.

I'm sorry about your bad ex friend! Watching this podcast you've clearly surrounded yourself with better people. Good on you

I love when you guys “ramble” on and go off topic. It makes it feel like a real conversation :)

I think the “pick me” aspect of the first two stories from men is the fact that these guys did something seriously wrong but still seek validation because they want someone to pick their side over recognizing their OBVIOUS cruelty.

It’s so sad seeing a women or a man shut down, lose confidence and stop being themselves because of what someone said about their appearance. I don’t understand why people have to come at others looks. We’re all human. Life is hard enough we don’t need others commenting on our appearance and putting us down!

the guy in the first story is describing his friend like he’s in love with him lol.

Pregnancy announcement story: When I was in sixth grade one our teachers’ husbands died. It was really sad and the mood of the sixth grade class went down for a while. However a couple of months later (after the funeral) one of our other teachers announced she was pregnant. I can’t tell how much that lifted the spirits of the entire grade, especially when the teacher who’s husband had died shared in our happy reaction and took a moment to thank us for the way we emotionally supported her and told us that now was the time to be happy. I don’t think that the woman was wrong in thinking this new would lift their spirits, I think she was wrong for when she did it and way she did it. She didn’t give anybody time to morn the death of their love one and anytime someone stands on a chair it will always give a “Hey Look At Me!” vibe.

Morgan’s level of self confidence to say a saying wrong and then even sing it is kinda admirable-like it’s wrong but she says it with her whole chest (respect)

1st OP sounds like he's jealous of J lmao

First story, we are all thick skin in the group she's not a part of the fucking group leave her out of it, the way he described e definitely sounds like he likes him a lot more than he would like to admit

I used to pride myself on being told “I’m super chill and not dramatic like other girls” and thought that girls were way more catty than boys but now I realize that I’m super happy with my girlfriends and guy friends. All are amazing

As a society we need to normalize a couple of things so that it gets drilled into the masses head certain rules like: 1. NEVER steal someone's moment to announce your own, wether it's funerals bdays graduations weddings etc. That is just rude😮‍💨 2. Women (I'm generalizing here) shouldn't make it a habit of tearing eachother up for a guy, to get ahead or just in general. Life is hard enough as is, instead we should build eachother up and help eachother✊🏻 3. Going NC with extremely toxic people ☢️☣️ no matter if they're family, friends, or former SO's should be considered as a personal choice and respected as such. And not treated like its a good samaritan's job to FIX things because they think they know better. Nobody knows what that person went through to get to that point and just because reality was different for you it should not be expected to play out as a lifetime/disney reunion moment that can be forced where everybody lives happily ever after😞

We all had a crazy bad ex-friend. Lesson learned.

Yes being dress coded is very humiliating and feels violating no matter who does it

I love the episodes with Lauren! She's so sweet and I love that she tries to see the best in everyone🥰

To address the first part of the vid, regarding that comment Morgan read out, I don’t think they were calling her a pick-me for having that preference, I think calling her a pick-me for putting that person from the story down for considering it cheating just bc Morgan herself didn’t. Generally the diff that makes a pick-me instead of just a hater is intent, like if you’re actually doing it for guys or if you’re just doing it for some other reason. So while I don’t think their comment was accurate I do think it was misinterpreted. Just my two cents 🤙🏻

this was such a good ep omg, i'd be so down for pick me's v. haters round two 😭

All the roses for the boyfriend In the first story. I hope they have a very happy marriage 🎉

The being called a pick me girl for calling someone else a pick me girl reminds me of this girl who I went to middle school with. She’d constantly call people rude all the time so I had to finally tell her it was rude for her to be walking around calling other people rude

Yesss! I been waiting for this episode! So glad Lauren is back I love you guys ❤ You make up the best part of my usually shitty day.

Pick me examples: “oh I only wear mascara I could never wear all that makeup that other girls do” “my man can look at all asses and I’ll look with him”

"E" doesn't sound like a 8 or 9. He's a 10 for not letting his boys talk badly about his woman.

I really enjoy the authentic aspect to you two! You stumble through your words and talk in circles when you are seriously amped up about topics! My SIL is a pick me girl and she enrages me! She takes it to the point of gaslighting me and picking on me in public settings. She gave a speech at my wedding just roasting me about how stupid I was. She's not a nice person, but the point here is she has such a hard time making and keeping friends. 😕

Morgan and Lauren can be chaotic and funnier together.

Lauren is always one of my favourite guests although i think you guys have had some amazing guests lately 😊

YESSS i was waiting for this onee!!! Love that Lauren´s back for it!

The stories start at 13:34

Not Morgan putting Lauren on the spot the entire episode 🫠

I used to get pretty much bullied for being a pick me and "doing things just to impress the boys" when in reality I was a closeted baby lesbian who just wanted to have fun. Even to this day at 20 I get picked on for going out off roading with a group of guys because I'm "doing it to impress them". Their girlfriends hate me and spread rumors because I'm friends with them. Like I'm fully out now everyone knows I like girls. Their girlfreinds shouldn't be the ones who see jealous/scared I'll take their man THEIR MEN should be scared I'm gonna take their bitch 😂

I don't think the pregnancy announcement was a pick me girl thing, I think she was just a people pleaser which obviously comes from her mom since she was the one the suggested it. I think she genuinely wanted to cheer everyone up. This might be the first grandchild/great grandchild in the family. Really bold of her to stand on a chair and yell it out though... lol

This episode feels like I'm hanging out with friends and gossiping! I love it