Hard Part of Adoption

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Piece Of Us Podcast

Piece Of Us Podcast

Жыл бұрын

Hard Part of Adoption
We are joined by an amazing guest talking about the hard part of adoption and how difficult it can be, but also how beautiful it is!

Пікірлер: 99
@kmvideos3877
@kmvideos3877 Жыл бұрын
As a special education teacher, we always say “all behavior is communication.” I think that is extremely important for everyone to keep in mind, especially when working with children. I’m glad you touched on this!
@HunnieBee803
@HunnieBee803 Жыл бұрын
I'm long term subbing in nc... I have a child who was badly abused as a baby and all year I have been saying it has an effect on him. And finally I don't feel crazy
@gisellegallardo8101
@gisellegallardo8101 Жыл бұрын
As a student in school becoming a teacher being trauma informed is so important and can prepare you for more than expected this podcast was so interesting as a education student and future teacher
@JaePorterVlogs
@JaePorterVlogs Жыл бұрын
As a foster parent to three beautiful kids with trauma, this podcast was EXCELLENT in that it gives me hope for her future. TBRI is a wonderful way of living and learning with my kids. Such an informative podcast! Enjoyed it. Keep up the good work w/ these serious topics.
@doreenmarshall1250
@doreenmarshall1250 Жыл бұрын
Such an interesting podcast. I cried a lot with memories of adopting our youngest son with severe RAD and how it affected our older son. I was also a full time teacher. My heart breaks that teachers are still (on the whole) unaware of how to make our children feel safe. My cousin also adopted a daughter with RAD. We are both now bringing up a grandson each, both have been severely affected by the early trauma of having parents with RAD. Child mental health services were not good in the UK 35 years ago and have proven ineffective in the last 18 years... and adult mental health services are even worse. My grandson is now 18, I took him out of school at 13 and again at 15. My cousin's grandson is 8 and because of the added recent trauma of losing his father and 6 months later his grandpa he had some outbursts at school...the school then refused to take him on his class residential. Heartbroken is not a strong enough emotion of how we felt! And we have been professional people in our working life...one medical...one educational...both with early childhood trauma experience. Professionals working with children need extensive training in early childhood trauma and attachment issues or our youngsters have no hope of a productive adulthood and the ability to break the negative parenting cycle. My son was 30 before I had a genuine hug and an I love you mum. My heart melted. You are amazing parents, constantly learning, endlessly fighting for the best for your children. Thank you xxx
@cupcakesonrainydays
@cupcakesonrainydays Жыл бұрын
Your story breaks my heart. I relate with a lot you said.
@barbaraunderwood1762
@barbaraunderwood1762 Жыл бұрын
This lady is an amazing woman. We need more teachers like her. I learned alot listening to this video. Aaron was listening so intently. Never thought about what Crystal said about children acting good for other people & acting out at home. Does make sense. My 16 year old granddaughter gave us trouble about going to school. All her mothers fault because she made her so dependent on her. Took her every where with her but left the other baby home. Separation anxiety. She would pitch fits for half the day at school. Now she will get up & go even when she’s told she don’t have to. ❤ this video
@AlisaBeel-mo4oh
@AlisaBeel-mo4oh 2 ай бұрын
I was watching one of your old videos about Hannah and Alex. I would love to see you guys do a podcast on what foster care is like in your area. As I listened to their story I am just shocked that the foster care workers never caught anything going on in the home. As a previous foster care worker in Ohio , a placement had to last for six months before adoption and personally a lot of us would take our kiddos out for the zoo, ice cream, etc and so that also gave them time to open up about anything privately . It just shocks me that even workers they should have had a good bond with before adoption didn’t notice anything.
@lindaharrison5356
@lindaharrison5356 Жыл бұрын
What a very interesting podcast , very informative and what an amazing person Michelle is .
@charityvaldez-sz9cl
@charityvaldez-sz9cl Жыл бұрын
Michele was a great guest to watch and learn about her story. Loved this podcast from Crazy Pieces!
@hardpass9855
@hardpass9855 Жыл бұрын
What an amazing informative podcast 💞💞 I wish ALL teachers had trauma training!!
@betheldonaldson1201
@betheldonaldson1201 Жыл бұрын
Thank you! This was the best interview. Pre- birth trauma is so real. And the whole abandonment issue is just not understood. I am an adoptive single parent with a now 24 year old. FASD and pre-birth trauma, prior to coming to me, has so greatly affected her. She is now in the mental health system and may never be able to live outside the system. What your guest said is so right on. I wish my gal's teachers had understood. I had to did for support and training. Post Institute, Jeff Noble and Honestly Adoption have been have been my biggest support/trainers.
@BekFaye11
@BekFaye11 Жыл бұрын
People like you are amazing! We definitely need more people in this world just like you! THANK YOU!!!!
@robinlipuma7836
@robinlipuma7836 Жыл бұрын
I was a preschool teacher and I took so many classes learing about different special needs/medical care children here in Arizona and I learn to talk to parents so I make sure if there was something I needed to know to help me in my class I would as someone or I would look up on Google to help me understand the child more, I had so many children that were in foster homes out of all my years of teaching
@CosmoAnnaE
@CosmoAnnaE Жыл бұрын
We need more teachers like Michele!
@lisamack9715
@lisamack9715 Жыл бұрын
She has got to be one of the most inspirational and kindest souls I’ve ever ever heard! What an absolutely incredible person! This has in-lightened me so much and I’ve spoken to my partner about a trauma therapist for himself as well as so much on even our own kids as we are a family from separation 🥰 thank you soo much for this! Very much needed for this weekend 🤩🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼💛
@terriehumphries6028
@terriehumphries6028 Жыл бұрын
I was adopted by my Aunt at age 15. I have a special needs son. I was pregnant with him, but he was born with Autism. He was a lot like her youngest but is doing Awesome today. He of course still has Autism, but lots of therapy over the years has helped him. This is an amazing woman. ❤
@user-jz9st6zr4g
@user-jz9st6zr4g Жыл бұрын
The way she talked about her kids made me want to cry
@siaya254
@siaya254 Жыл бұрын
As an adoptive mum I feel to be privileged to have known about trauma before
@lindaholt5462
@lindaholt5462 Жыл бұрын
I am glad that she shared the story of the book she chose not to read. I have an honest question regarding this. In my school district they have a huge group of parents that want books available to students that cover topics, like abuse, rape, and other serious (and less serious but equally triggering). They reason that children need to have books they can relate too or they feel alone in their struggles/difficulties. They say having those “mirrors” are necessary but the book story seems to be the opposite idea to that. I have even heard that adopted kids need to have books on adoption to normalize adoption but do they really need all these books? I’d love more insight on this.
@abigailbailey6849
@abigailbailey6849 11 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing. I think it’s good for as many people to learn as much as they can about trauma as possible, even if they don’t deal with it because you just never know
@brendahiggins355
@brendahiggins355 Жыл бұрын
I took a child in, didn’t foster, first thing I did was take her to counseling, the system did nothing for her, which is so sad. Teachers should be taught not all children have the perfect home life.
@kels0jade6
@kels0jade6 Жыл бұрын
To me, it's sad when teachers realize that and still don't try to understand the child.
@lisamack9715
@lisamack9715 Жыл бұрын
We were exactly the same my partner has 2 children from a previous marriage and I have a daughter from previous marriage thankfully my daughters school we’re extremely amazing, the school in which my step children attend has been absolutely horrific, as well as social services etc all awful, to which I’ve taken time away from work and done as many courses and read as much as I can and have help my partner and step children develop, which has been recognised by old friends of there parents which feels amazing. It’s lonely at times for me as I’m the one helping everyone bit it’s been extremely rewarding watching them grow 🥰 xxx
@michelearmour3550
@michelearmour3550 Жыл бұрын
Let me tell you all something that's such an amazing loving I was to go out a lot of teachers could have been like that back in the days I am in my 64 years old it was stuff I did not understand back in the day they will not explain it to you I was a visual you have to show me for me to understand but they didn't get it it was hard going to school I didn't like going to school I hated going to school I'm about to retire in a year-and-a-half I want to go back to school to better myself I printed up on someone thank y'all for this podcast and I really want to thank Max for being the brains behind this y'all reason such an amazing son all of the kids are blessing but he is so awesome thank you all for this podcast it really made me see some things to these thank you so much❤😊
@michelearmour3550
@michelearmour3550 Жыл бұрын
Also would like to address the teacher doesn't matter kindergarten I had a loving teacher an amazing teacher I don't know what happened they sent me to this other teachers class she did not speak to me the whole time I was in our class I went from a classroom to a teacher loving on me to a class while teacher did not even acknowledge that I was there I tried to tell my mom when I got older that I think I was affected from that but no one believed me but it's true kids do know who's going and who's not and the second teacher was not good for me the first one was beautiful thank you all from the bottom of my heart I know that was a problem and people really need to listen to children when they tell them how they feel thank you again Aaron and Crystal y'all are the best❤😊
@donnavanderwalt7106
@donnavanderwalt7106 Жыл бұрын
Wow what an incredible lady. GOD BLESS YOU Michelle. ❤
@Ethelseaborn
@Ethelseaborn Жыл бұрын
This has to be one of my favorite episodes of the podcast. It was great to hear Michele’s story!
@nicokleyn449
@nicokleyn449 Жыл бұрын
This helped me understand my child.
@ievaieva8145
@ievaieva8145 Жыл бұрын
Thank you! A lot of good information! It made me so sad that friends and relatives did not want to babysit kid with trauma. As a person with trauma you feel that energy. Thank you for being there for her!
@meghahn7634
@meghahn7634 Жыл бұрын
I was adopted when I was 8 years old from Costa Rica!
@douglasxavier8694
@douglasxavier8694 Жыл бұрын
Very interesting pod cast I JUST LOVE IT ❤ ..an adoptive mom from Brazil kisses and love
@lisathunborg6192
@lisathunborg6192 Жыл бұрын
Our son had Oppositional Defiant Disorder and he was AMAZING for everyone but my husband and myself.
@maryalice8866
@maryalice8866 Жыл бұрын
I'm crying listening to this, so amazing🥹🥰🙏🩷
@HomesteadHippie
@HomesteadHippie Жыл бұрын
Thank you for addressing the parts of adoption that is never addressed. The hard parts. As a single mom of 8 adopted kids, I've had to deal with those same issues as your guest. The hardest part for me was remembering that they lashed out at me because I was the safe place, and to wait until they are no longer over stimulated before parenting. I would add this for singles that plan to adopt... Make sure you have a great support system, especially for respite. We also had a school experienced that was a trigger for my oldest daughter. Her 5th grade teacher gave this assignment... Go home and make a family tree on poster board. The further back that you go, the better grade you will get. So...we go a huge poster board, I drew a beautiful tree for her to add her photos to and she put her photo on it. Then she took it to school. Now I can go back to 10 AD on one side of my family. But that is not her biology, which this was for. Her teacher told her she did a horrible job on her poster and she could have done better. She stood up and said, "I went back as far as my biology goes, so this to all the way to the beginning of my biology." I also called the priest for the parish (it was a Catholic school). He informed her teacher that she should get an A and there would be no more genealogy done in that school as it was traumatic for adopted kids. It was a small school and all of the teachers knew she was adopted as I also worked there as an aide. To sum it up...Get your support group together. File your paperwork. Enjoy the love! It's a beautiful life.
@charleneuyehara5788
@charleneuyehara5788 Жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed watching this podcast. Michele is an amazing mother/ teacher! Very informative. Thank you for doing this podcast. God bless you all!
@stephaniemoore7889
@stephaniemoore7889 Жыл бұрын
I love watching your KZfaq channel and podcasts
@virginiaforan6015
@virginiaforan6015 Жыл бұрын
That was such a wonderful, educational, emotional and so much more podcast. Thank you on so many different levels. Aaron, Crystal and Michelle I am in awe of you.😊
@blairjr2570
@blairjr2570 11 ай бұрын
Thank you both for ALL the information you both share. I really want to do what you've both done. I really can't wait for the Crazy Parenting book from you.
@barbieblue3336
@barbieblue3336 11 ай бұрын
About two decades ago, I was at a pro life event. This young woman had a beautiful baby on her shoulder. All babies are beautiful. 🙏 Just then, the baby did what babes do. Spit up a little 😁 something was different about the Mom. I realized later. So we started talking. She told me she was married to the pastor speaking at the event. She said they had adopted the baby from a 16 year old who saw "the silent scream" and said, "i cannot do that to my baby " Can you imagine the happiness from this one brave girl? Mom? I realized why the Mom "looked different." she hadn't gone through childbirth. She had extra energy for baby (nor carrying the baby for 9 months) Please keep sharing your great story. I always remember that beaming new Mom. The treasured baby.
@sheilacaine
@sheilacaine Жыл бұрын
Great information. Great podcast. Ty
@l.n.2424
@l.n.2424 Жыл бұрын
Michele is an angel 💕
@amandaluciano4208
@amandaluciano4208 Жыл бұрын
i love your podcast this one is by far my favourite one as an adoptee listing to this making me understand why my parents waited to have more kids and i would love to talk to you guys about this love you
@ednanelson1897
@ednanelson1897 Жыл бұрын
My sister had a friend's granddaughter's eighteen month old baby dropped at her house at midnight with five pampers and one sneaker. She had to fight to get vouchers for food and clothes. The baby was familiar with my sister but had gone through a lot of trauma. Her home was invaded by the police at gun point. She is now turning five this month. She is still with my sister. She doesn't see her mom as parental rights have been terminated. As I listened to the podcast, I think this little girl suffers from pre-verbal developmental trauma. My sister has asked for counseling but it has not been approved. Thank you so much for this podcast. I'm going to have my sister listen to it. It may help her get the counseling her child needs. BTW, my sister is adopting her. She's just waiting for a date. 😊
@kathymclaughlin3327
@kathymclaughlin3327 Жыл бұрын
Terrific guest and topic
@MissyDcherrydaisypie25
@MissyDcherrydaisypie25 Жыл бұрын
This was very eye opening
@downsizingontenacres.5927
@downsizingontenacres.5927 Жыл бұрын
Wonderful, informative, beautiful podcast. Thank you. ❤
@graciously_anna
@graciously_anna Жыл бұрын
I feel like you guys should do a colab video with dellavlogs when everyone is ready because I feel like you have had a similar situation happen regarding adopting , I feel like that would make such a great healing podcast on the topic it could really help other too who are wanting to adopt
@Secrets.concurseira
@Secrets.concurseira Жыл бұрын
Beautiful podcast
@kristenbeal8333
@kristenbeal8333 Жыл бұрын
Crystal and Aaron, I have sent in a few forms and hopes to be on the channel to tell my story and one part of my story is that I put my child my youngest son up and he will be turning 8 on June 21st and I would love to be able to tell my story about this and how it came about and how amazing his parents are!!!! If you would love to have me to tell my story, please reach out to me by phone or email. I look forward to hearing from one of you soon. I love you guys so much and thank you for what you do for all the kids out there!❤❤❤❤ Much Love Always, Kristen B 💕💕💕💕
@rosemarquez3544
@rosemarquez3544 Жыл бұрын
Michelle is an amazing Woman ❤
@windy42305
@windy42305 Жыл бұрын
Trauma during childhood is such a big deal. I’m learning about complex PTSD. childhood PTSD. I’m following the Crappy Childhood Fairy. This speaker is amazing! What she has gone through, wow! Suggestion: next time just leave guest speaker in upper middle so we can see responses from crystal, Aaron.
@jesikalynn3882
@jesikalynn3882 Жыл бұрын
Oooh how I wish we had more of her...my youngest is in end grade and he's been struggling this year so bad 😢snd his teacher just don't seem to care at all 😢so frustrating
@susandunn6270
@susandunn6270 Жыл бұрын
Loved this glad To know I wasn't the only parent that has had to fight for their baby.
@judithrigby4616
@judithrigby4616 Жыл бұрын
Working within a school attached to a therapeutic community I ensured staff were consciously aware that the behaviour is not the problem but the child’s answer to the problem/question. So their role was determining what the question was that they were answering by their behaviour. It was easy to describe this using the example of children at the checkout in a supermarket. They saw sweets there and started having a temper tantrum.The temper tantrum is answering the problem of I want sweets. I’ve a 50/50 chance of getting them so let’s throw the temper tantrum and see what happens….
@natashaw401
@natashaw401 Жыл бұрын
Yes yup behind behavior is issue
@mikerosing8202
@mikerosing8202 Жыл бұрын
Hi Crystal. Love. U guys
@ahorvath34
@ahorvath34 Жыл бұрын
Love this conversation. I'm slightly distracted by the transition of the guest box. Is it possible to just keep a consistent split screen in the future? I love you're podcast. Thanks for sharing your lives with us. ❤
@natashaw401
@natashaw401 Жыл бұрын
Neat travelled 2x to China to adopt
@69babygirl
@69babygirl Жыл бұрын
And it’s not going to hurt me or anything like that it’s very good or bad It depends on the way you look at it.
@kels0jade6
@kels0jade6 Жыл бұрын
I love this lady and her way of thinking. The things she does for students is amazing. And of course, for her children too. The only thing that bothered me was her saying she tells the teachers she'll do a couple problems for homework but isnt gonna do 5 pages. I think its sweet and I do get it. But at the same time, I think its important for children to realize they have to do hard things sometimes. You can't constantly protect them from hard things, things they don't like, etc. Even if they're tired or don't want to. I mean, I'd make sure she could relax and unwind first but, I'd say she needs to understand her mom can't fix everything for her. She's 15 so close to college age, if thats the route she chooses. Good luck telling a college professor she isn't gonna do homework like that. Not trying to be ugly at all, just giving my opinion.
@dearleah7299
@dearleah7299 Жыл бұрын
She’s not responsible for how you feel about her decisions as a parent.
@HollyWolfStudios
@HollyWolfStudios Жыл бұрын
In family-systems therapy there is an "identified patient" that often gets scapegoated for issues that all family members are contributing to in some form or another. If one person is experiencing trauma, the whole family is experiencing trauma.
@mirandawilliamson7258
@mirandawilliamson7258 3 ай бұрын
I have 2 adopted children I love them both as if they were my biological children
@houghtaling2005
@houghtaling2005 Жыл бұрын
Michelle was great
@kathymclaughlin3327
@kathymclaughlin3327 Жыл бұрын
Trauma therapy needs to be stressed and we need to be educated on it
@brendakamuf7335
@brendakamuf7335 Жыл бұрын
Thank you I have two adopted children they are adults noe but My daughter has RAD very server. I can't even have her around My grandkids because she's threatened to hurt them. Unfortunately I I have to spend time with her away from the rest of the family because is danger to them.
@mirandawilliamson7258
@mirandawilliamson7258 3 ай бұрын
I adopted my son when he was one he still suffers from trauma
@missitheachievementhuntres560
@missitheachievementhuntres560 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for making this podcast! I hope you guys will keep the screen of the other person still net time, the movement of the screen with Michele made me a bit seasick.
@jessicachung6163
@jessicachung6163 Жыл бұрын
Can you link the pod cast she touched on ?
@itsmuffins
@itsmuffins Жыл бұрын
The stuff the lady is talking about her daughter was what my daughter go through everyday day but she has ASD .Would you known any podcast that is for parents that has ASD
@HollyWolfStudios
@HollyWolfStudios Жыл бұрын
Trauma is a full mind+body+emotional experience. Whether we are cognitively aware, or can verbalize it is not a factor in how we cope or are resilient - at least not until we feel safe enough and have developed those skills (language, worldview) to face it. And even then, if we treat it solely as a "mental" problem we are missing the mark completely. The term 'psyche' has etymological roots in soul. Trauma must be approached from a deeper level than mind alone.
@santiedormehl3042
@santiedormehl3042 Жыл бұрын
Crystal. I want to know. What is your advice in Parenting a kid with ADHD. My son is 16 and iam really struggling. I have to check daily his backpack if he did homework. I help him with him studying for exams. My husband doesn't belief there is a thing like ADHD. He says I am spoiling my son. But my son can't follow any instructions. Should I pull back and let him learn to do it all by himself. He already failed grade 8. In S. A if you fail Maths you faile the grade. We dont have summer schools and extra credits and all that
@mikecsencsits537
@mikecsencsits537 Жыл бұрын
Very interesting podcast. Though, I kept getting distracted by then transition being done with the guests video. A split screen or just have it placed at the top would have helped me
@kerrifitzpatrick3310
@kerrifitzpatrick3310 Жыл бұрын
I live in a little country town in Australia and our schools now dont hand out home work to kids they believe the do enough through the day at school
@lovepaperfloral
@lovepaperfloral Жыл бұрын
How do you tell the difference between trauma and autistic traits with a young child you have adopted?
@natashaw401
@natashaw401 Жыл бұрын
So good teacher didnt read a book triggers a child in the class
@autismstrongmom
@autismstrongmom Жыл бұрын
I don't normally comment, but I really feel the need to comment. I understand that there is trauma with kids that are adopted, but everything your guest is describing is Autism. I'm not saying the child didn't experience trauma or isn't affected by what she experienced, but I really feel sorry for her child that her Autism isn't being recognized to get the proper support. I have two teenagers with Autism, and my girls struggle with many of the same things. I also have a lot of family members with Autism, and I understand foster kids as my parents were foster parents while I was growing up. She mentioned her daughter misunderstands facial expressions and gets upset. My youngest does the same because of her Autism and recognizing emotions with facial expressions, and yes kids with Autism need to be taught to recognize facial expressions and emotions. Also she mentioned about how her daughter will hold it together at school and the behavior comes out at home with her. Again, that is very common with Autism. Especially girls with Autism. It's called "masking". The stuff she said about disciplining, and how normal ways don't work (which is also very common with Autism). I also have to say it isn't fair or accurate to refer to a child who has mental health because of trauma as neuro diverse because they're not neuro diverse. That's a chemical imbalance, not neuro diversity which is something you're born with.
@dearleah7299
@dearleah7299 Жыл бұрын
You don’t know everything about her child just based off of one video. You’d have to actually evaluate her child, or any child, to determine if they’re autistic or not.
@69babygirl
@69babygirl Жыл бұрын
If I say something to you, I don’t want to be judged or anything like that and it’s a little personal I don’t want to talk but I don’t want to say anything in the comments
@dawnroper5960
@dawnroper5960 Жыл бұрын
I don't know where this young lady lives but what about Joe? I think they would be great together.
@dearleah7299
@dearleah7299 Жыл бұрын
What “young lady” are you talking about?
@dearleah7299
@dearleah7299 Жыл бұрын
Joe can find his own. He doesn’t need you or anyone arranging a marriage for him. 🤦‍♀️
@hopelong4299
@hopelong4299 Жыл бұрын
I love you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@brendahiggins355
@brendahiggins355 Жыл бұрын
Did any of your kids go to counseling
@jodiestone4730
@jodiestone4730 Жыл бұрын
Almost all of Crazy Pieces and Crazy Middles kids went to therapy/counseling. I'm not sure if Bella, Rylan and Liam went as I don't remember them talking about it.
@natashaw401
@natashaw401 Жыл бұрын
Sad sad left to asleep on wooden board
@natashaw401
@natashaw401 Жыл бұрын
Oh pre verbal what
@patriciapatterson7329
@patriciapatterson7329 Жыл бұрын
Don't u think them kids belong in there own race to understand
@natashaw401
@natashaw401 Жыл бұрын
Asthma considered special needs
@CrazyGorgeousLife
@CrazyGorgeousLife Жыл бұрын
Hated how the lady kept on moving all over the screen that was extremely annoying.
@dearleah7299
@dearleah7299 Жыл бұрын
Go whine and cry somewhere else. They don’t need your pettiness here.
@scottalvarado545
@scottalvarado545 Жыл бұрын
can i give you piece of advice when you do interview like that don't zoom in and out like that it get really annoying just pick a spot and just leave it
@samu-chan
@samu-chan Жыл бұрын
No
@jodiestone4730
@jodiestone4730 Жыл бұрын
I'm sure a lot of fans don't care about your complaint. I have absolutely no problem with it going in and out.
@alyssar7477
@alyssar7477 Жыл бұрын
Actually so true and the video kept moving all over and like what was the point of that. Also if they are going to show A and C during this interview maybe show them being more into it. Like they were just looking so disinterested in it having either creepy smiles or blank stares. So cringe
@dearleah7299
@dearleah7299 Жыл бұрын
@Scott Alvarado don’t ask if you can give advice if you’re just going to go ahead and give it without permission.
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