This feels like a direct-to-DVD movie that would come out in 2006 when everyone was trying to be the next Toy Story, but for some reason came out in 2022, and we should all be ashamed because of it.

“But the real clown here is YOU Pinnochio” is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my 20 years of life

They left out an amazing part near the beginning, where since Pinocchio left Geppedophile to join the circus, he asks the horse to be his new dad. My friend and I thought he was joking, but then Pinocchio refers to the horse as father or daddy for a good portion of the movie

There is a single frame at 13:37 where the character models for Pinocchio and the horse are just …. missing…. Before popping into the rendered background. Absolute masterclass filmmaking

Morbius is gonna have a run for its money in the best picture category

I appreciate the fact that the internet as a whole agreed on calling him “fruity Pinocchio”.

"I'm alive. I'm a boy and I'm alive," Pinocchio softly stated

I was terrified that this was Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio that people have been talking about for like 5 years. Thankfully it isn't

This is a true story. The events depicted in this film took place in San Miniato Basso in 2022. At the request of the survivors the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead the rest has been told exactly as it occurred.

The story I've heard behind Pauly Shore being Pinocchio is apparently the people who made the movie insisted that he play the part. Apparently Pauly actually refused a few times and made sure they confirmed that they knew who he was and that they were certain they wanted him for the role. Even he knew he was the wrong choice, but here we are

I like how it's nothing but "Italian" people and then the circus was just attended by the most British man in existence

every time dan says a banger like "you could've practiced that line a little bit more" but marcus doesn't respond it kills me a little inside

Fun fact: not only did Tom Kenny voice Geppetto in this movie, he also voiced one of the racist robot twins in the second Transformers

I'm an interpreter and it really does look like they were trying to translate the movie from russian word by word which you do not do ever! You hear a sentence, you understand the essence of what's being said and you translate it in a way that would make sense in the other language. I speak russian a little and I've seen a clip of the original and it sounded fine and Pinocchio had a voice of a teenage boy, not a voice of a 50 year old gay man who's trying to feminize his voice.

Truly, the most voice acted movie of all time

10:08 Can we appreciate how pitch perfect Dan's impression was?

I don’t know if I want Pauly Shore to get more or less roles because of this movie

I don’t think we can see this as a movie. I see it as a cinematic event.

16:07 “and hides behind the coat” randomly gets stuck in my head from time to time. Just the way he says it idk

“Made of wood or are you just happy to see me?” Had me rolling

I tried to figure out which parts of this movie specifically were a true story and I decided that the cat with a gun wearing knickerbockers is the most likely candidate for being real.

Amazing that Pauly Shore as Pinocchio is more unbelievable than a talking horse.

"You made of wood...? Or you just happy to see me?" might be the funniest sentence I've ever heard.

fun fact: I used to work for one of the producers of this. I’ve even written some notes on Pinocchio (press release and stuff) but haven’t seen the movie tho. also I subscribed to this channel like two weeks ago and now I’m seeing this (but the producer is really great btw, his name is Roman Borisevich, you should check his other feature films, like How I Ended This Summer, or Tale in the Darkness. he’s also working on a sci-fi film with Alexander Kuznetsov who is now starring in new Fantastic Beasts, another Marcus’s favourite movie)

"It's like uncanny valley for every sense a human has." I genuinely feel it in my nose somehow.

You need the will of the gods to make it through this movie. Mad respect to you Marcus. For doing something no normal man can do.

I died laughing at the "it's just me" when he walks into the trailer... I had to pause and laugh my arse off, of all the places to break that is where I was broken 😂

It legitimately looks and sounds like a real-time fandub

"This is like The Departed" - a sentence I never thought I'd hear anyone use to describe the fruity Pinocchio movie

_"Father when can i leave to be on my own i've got the whole world to see."_ That one line that made Carlo Collodi rolling in his grave.

Laughed at him saying the video was going to be corrupted only to have it be copyrighted for weeks 🤣

I'm not ready for a world where clowns are information brokers.

To explain why the lying=nose grows thing doesn't happen, that's because this is based on the soviet version of Pinocchio called Burotino where the evil guy is basically a greedy human trafficker and he has a cat and fox as henchmen. There was actually a really good soviet movie based on it lol but yeah no nose growing happens there. He just gets enslaved in a circus instead

We live in a world where a company bothered to copyright this terrible film from marcus, that's so embarrassing

*casually yet aggressively swings the door open* "It's just me" I don't think I've ever died laughing at something simple like this in my life, but goddamn did I need it LOL. Gonna quote this and say it exactly like this everytime I visit someone now

"We're adding fairies now?" Wait... was there NOT a fairy in the beginning? So how the hell did Pinocchio come to life then? It just... sorta happened, randomly? Because in the original story he was brought to life by a blue fairy. I'll never forget this fact, because the movie A.I. wouldn't shut the hell up about it.

Out of all the movies made Pinocchio a true story is definitely one of them 🔥

Back in the 90's I had a VHS tape called "The REAL Story of Humpty Dumpty" which was just some cheap straight to video 20 minute American cartoon, but I actually thought it was THE real story that no one knew. I was so excited to tell other people that he got knocked off by a witch on a broom. Unfortunately, Humpty Dumpty didn't come up much in conversation to allow me to share that knowledge, so I just had to force it a few times. I don't think anyone cared.

You know it’s bad when the characters mouth isn’t moving, but the voice actor is going “dee-skidee-skidee-skidee”

the fact that the sorceress kept saying “my/our good friend” implies that the writers didn’t think they could make clear they were friends that was one of the first signs they didn’t know how to write

Marcus is right, an old man making a life sized child doll is sus. Gepetto more like Gepedo

Fruity Pinnochio: “She is the most beautiful thing in the World” His Nose: Press X to doubt

16:13 the muscle man to the left looks like the neighbor from hello neighbor. Even the animation is reminding me of him.

"Are we gonna watch something better?" "Maybe." This is a key sign that you make a run for it.

Tybalt is my favorite character in this. He just seems so done with everything. Fruity P: Tybalt those people are about to go off that cliff😱 Tybalt: What’s that got to do with me?🤨

Glad to see Dan's consistent evolution into Robert Pattinson Batman.

At 13:36 there’s a split frame where Pinocchio and his horse appear out of thin air, this movie is a masterpiece

13:35 the way Pinocchio and Tybalt just POP in! 😂

The quality of the animation and voice acting in this movie gives background characters in RWBY a run for their money.

Truly the cinematic masterpiece of our lifetime

The absolute pure joy on Marcus's face at Fruity Pinocchio's first voice lines really got me

Marcus' laugh is so contagious, it brings me great joy

14:49 Pinocchio sits in a wooden jail cell, is the cell made of flesh, or is he made of wood, he does not scream, as he knows

13:36 holy shit the characters just pop-in like a texture in a video game

11:45 “You are not a clown, Pinocchio. You are the entire circus.”

This feels like one of those movies cartoon network would play around the late 2000s on Friday nights as a "special event".

I think Marky actually sacrificed someone to get this released but it’s finally out, so happy to see it :)

cosmanaut picture shows are the best thing on this channel ive watched almost all of these like 3-4 times each, the tall girl, twilight hocus pocus. i must have watched like 10 times each you guys are so fucking funny

The horse is voiced by Jon Heder, so if you just imagine Pauly Shores character from Encino Man going on an adventure with Napoleon Dynamite it makes the movie slightly better.

LMAO at 17:15 when the circus is on fire and Pinocchio falls to his death, why is it so enjoyable

Usually picture shows make any bad movie fun to watch, but this is still painful

There is nothing creepy about a lonely old man living in the middle of nowhere, making a real life boy with his old hard wood.

"you may wonder why I summoned you here" "We played pokemon" "Yes...we played pokemon, but also" Hahahaha omg I died

The voice acting in this very consistently reminds me of the English voice acting in Stalker: Call of Pripyat, it's uncannily similar in, uh... "quality," it's fucking amazing

I want an Elden Ring mod that changes one of the horse-mount enemies to Pinocchio on the back of John Hedder horse. The greatest fight of all time.

Pauly Shore's voice acting in this has saved 2022 for us all🤩

Nobody Is talking 'bout The CLOWN LINE... Just this Channel... U R THAT GOOD, COSMO

"she's meant to die here pinocchio" fucking LMAO

Congratulations on getting the video up marcus

“This is like the Departed.” Is a great out of context quote to help convince suckers to watch this.

13:25 “This movie would be better without the horse” That’s why the original movie didn’t feature a fucking horse

I'm absolutely convinced that they knew exactly what they were doing. It was so consistently insane.

This genuinely feels like the room of animation and I kinda love that.

casting paulie shore in this is the most baffling creative decision i've ever seen. i can't stop thinking about it

"Oh, man I thought that was going to be more comedic." "You better stop hoping that."

11:18 "On of the clowns was told by other clown" is just discussion on internet.

Cosmonaught's laughter is fueling this video. God bless.

Probably the best movie adaptation of such a beloved tale

“And look at that. They’re all arrested” is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever heard

The fact the voice actor of this Pinnochio is the same guy who said: "Leaning Tower of Cheeza" in Goofy Movie is suprising.

That weird "skidoo skidoo skidoo" blew my brain to pieces like a shotgun.

Marcus' hysterical laugh is the best part of this video

The dub alone is already insanely funny and feels like a parody but it not even synching with the mouths just makes this comedy gold lmao

If you slow it down at 13:35 and play to 13:37 there is a frame where Pinocchio and the horse aren’t on the screen and then they pop in 😂😂😂 10/10 masta piece

This is some 90s video game quality voice acting. If I didn't know the cast list, I'd think this movie had three voice actors and no voice director. That last one is probably true.

I feel stronger yet emptier for having seen this full movie, so I guess you two get to share that too

13:32 there is a frame before Pinocchio and the horse load in where it’s just the background

It's never a real Cosmonaut review without his cat

I love when Pinocchio is stumbling around at the beginning, and Marcus is just staring at him in joyful wonder.

He did it. He beat the KZfaq final boss and finally gained the right to post this. Bless up Marcus

Robert Eggers wishes he could make something this artsy

This is def one of the top 2000 Pinocchio films. Truly a ground breaking achievement

14:18 “You’re lying!” “Am I now? Ha!” *doesn’t disprove the lie*

Pauly Shore really knows how to knock it out of the park.

I come back to this video every now and then just to feel something again

5:44 Two sausages laying in a frying pan. one rolls over and says, man its hot in here. the other jumps up and yells, OMG A TALKING SAUSAGE!!! Marcus' squealing laugh is pretty hilarious as well

This horse is literally just Darth Sidious

Wow, I can't believe this is a true story. Really goes to show anything is possible!

13:35 As the shot transitions between the guys shaking their heads and the characters behind the bushes, for a SINGLE FRAME they forgot to add in the character models. You can pause it and use the period and comma keys to go frame by frame on playback. I'M NOT CRAZY!!!

tricking dan into watching this is a war crime