To think the people that caused all this damage and pain are going around telling everyone how we abused them.

"When you've been in the presence of a narcissist, they just have a way of whittling away at who you are and what your resolve is and how you are going to manage life..." I have a really hard time putting my experience into words. Here are the words! I usually just say that they attack who you are and teach you to doubt and hate yourself. But people don't understand that. Your words show that it's a gradual and demeaning process that happens subtly over time.

Isolation, mistrust, avoidance, cynicism, humiliation, trauma, triggers, despair and desolation. The legacy of narc abuse. So difficult. Thank u Dr C for being part of my support team from 17,000 miles away 🙏🏾

They need to be held accountable. Seriously. It is about time they be sued at least in Civil court for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress. They mess with our minds, hearts, souls. They ruin our lives and just go on with theirs.

It’s your body mind and spirits way of saying: “I didn’t deserve this.” Just hearing those words have been very cleansing and healing to me. I really needed to hear that, thank you Dr. C🙏

They should be criminilised for the health problems they caused.

Even finding therapists that understand the abuse of an intimate Narcissist relationship is difficult, and since they separate you from friends there aren't friends left to talk with. It is hard not to isolate after dealing with these individuals.

I went into isolation for a decade. Listen to this man. DONT DO IT!! Broke the trauma bond. Narc mum. Now, rising. Victim, no more.🙏 🙏❤️🔥💫✨

Yes! Trust is broken. I no longer want a close relationship with anyone. I have friends, but not close friends. I don’t want to know anyone too well, for fear of more hurt. What has taught me this? A narcissistic mother, 36 years of a narcissistic husband, and now ten years with a narcissistic sister, and seeing those same qualities show up in my adult children. These are the people I should have been able to trust the most. But, I can’t. This tears me apart.

I was diagnosed with CPTSD after decades of living with a covert malignant narcissist. Everything you are saying describes me completely. It's horrifying to think one person can cause so much damage.

My older sister is a true malignant narcissist and, sadly my son is a narcissist. I'm so afraid to share anything about what ive experienced, because I'm the common denominator, and their behaviors are so crazy and extreme towards me that when I hear myself sharing, I sound like I'm making it all up! The behaviors are so bizarre, they're so cruel, that others outside of our family (and even those INSIDE) are skeptical. On top if that they are so incredibly skilled at lying and manipulation that it's easier for others to believe that I'M the narcissist. The hopelessness/helplessness can be so deep at times, I do experience paralysis and depression and deep, deep distrust that does keep me isolated. I have found wonderful therapists along the way, and have one currently. The happiest day of my life occurred recently when my therapist assured me that I am definitely NOT a narcissist myself, something which gas preyed upon my mind for years. She said narcissists aren't at all self-reflective. What a blessing and a light that is showing me the way to recovery. The truly sad part of all this? I'm 63. So much time lost to evil people.

My sister was diagnosed with PTSD due to the intense vast and incredibly cruel treatment of our narcissistic mother. We lived in fear growing up due to my mother’s unpredictable, violent belittling behaviors.

Definitely feeling this one. Love to all currently fighting the good fight. We are survivor's. 🇬🇧

I found this just an hour after discussing Christmas arrangements with my sister. I'm not going. I will stay home and honor myself by watching your videos.

I cry as I listen to what what you’re saying Dr. Les! It’s a blow to the spirit, they put a crack in your spirit that feels impossible to overcome. A narcissist is like an emotional stun gun. So debilitating. Leaves you sick.

I don't have motivation to live anymore. No interest in my goals, no desires, can barely complete daily tasks. Don't want to go anywhere or do anything. Avoidant of everything bc of memory triggers. No interest in getting to know anyone, no longer like people. My life is ruined. I can see the stress aging me. I'm broken. All this was done to me intentionally. There's no comfort. I'm disgusted at what was done, it makes me physically sick. I can't think.

My mother gave me PTSD. I never knew what normal was until I started learning about narcissism.

This is my life with CPTSD, marriage to a narcissist and four years of therapy....in 14 minutes

I got cancer 2 years ago and its the best thing thats ever happened to me, why ? because i suddenly realised that my family cant show any empathy , they never ask ONE question , ever..(they know everything you see) and all they can do is ridicule and critisise, usually behind my back. i came out of hospital and mum honestly wanted to know when i was gonna cut my lawn , coz, 'what will the neigbours think''? mum knows that she has punished me for what happened to her as a girl so now she has all the time in the world to sit and think about it . classic evil narc who blames everyone else and gets angry at the drop of a hat .... now i have no cancer and no contact with my family , win win in my eyes

At 70, I will never trust again. I’m totally sick of people.

Guilt, avoidant, very numb, detached, free floating anxiety, insomnia, gut issues and going from being very outgoing to being pessimistic. I've experienced all of these. Dating narc after narc not realizing....UNTIL... I recognized.... I grew up with a narc patent. It all makes sense now.

For all those who believe in divine justice, know that every abuser/criminal/flying monkey will face justice for every instance of trauma they cause you. Keep your inner peace, try your very best to recover and forget the abuse.

The best method for dealing with PTSD that I learned is Answer the Question: What will I do different next time? That is what your brain is trying to figure out when you relive it. Even if you'll never be in that exact time or place again, pretend it will happen again and Answer your brain's queation. Remind yourself of that answer when it hits you again.

I cried watching this knowing that the way I now feel is normal after what I've been through with a lifetime of narcissists. I've already worked through some of the issues on my own. I'll pat myself on the back for the work I've put into healing myself. Not all the way there yet but working on it daily. #teamhealthy

You hit the nail on the head. I learned my PTSD at 65 years old. Now I need to unlearn it. 🙄 Sheesh.

This was a tough one to watch. The hardest part was/is looking back on all of the dysfunctional behavior and trying not to beat myself up for getting into/staying in a relationship with that person, even though I intectually understand the reasons I did. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the grace to forgive myself.

Thank you. Narcissists love negativity on any level. One thing I have learned is that you can have boundaries but a narcissist will not listen or respect those boundaries.🤔❤🇺🇸

It took a good year of ruminating over the controlling situations. Trying desperately to understand and fix the events that I was experiencing. I emotionally broke. My husband saw your KZfaq channel and a family counselor in my Bible Study group reached out to me. 3 1/2 years later in my feel healthy and surviving. This is a Life saving channel, for me.

I AM STRUGGLING I LOOK FORWARD TO THIS VIDEO. DR C. I WAS GROOMED HOVERED DEVALUED DISCARDED IM SEVERELY TRAUMA BONDED MY LIFE HAS BEEN DESTROYED THROUGH MONTHS AND OF THE SILENT TREATMENT. ITS BEEN 8 YEARS AND IM STILL STRUGGLING I HAVE PTSD ANXIETY THE LIST CONTINUES. NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS BRUTAL

I was triggered into strong memories if someone said something like my abuser. The visuals were a lot like a flashback. I could even smell him. Lack of washing. This latest depressive episode was because I was getting old and I couldn't rid myself of the damage. The depression was terrible. Over the years, I had dragged out a lot of trauma and tried to make sense of it. I just couldn't understand how to heal. I found some exercises and a local mental health counselor started me on different kinds of therapy. I do feel better with the help I received. I'm in a place where I can deal with this stuff. It's safe here. Maybe I'll have that weakness for the rest of my life. Where some things make me crazy and depressed. I won't give up again, though.

I have had all of the CPTSD symptomps you have described here dr Carter. Having gone through narcisistic abuse all of my life I have only recently started speaking about it and it has been a painful yet incredibly liberating journey. And the help and assistance and support I have received from Angels like you dr Carter have helped me survive. I am for ever grateful. God bless you.

I am stunned again today. I have been listening to this channel for over a year. I listen to the messages over and over. I have read Dr. Carter's books and taken a course. Yet I sit amazed again that what happened to me over the course of my 72 years is well known by such a genius as Dr. Carter. There is hope even for someone my age. I could NOT see it at first. I learned on some level about what happened gradually over the last several months. But what use was it at my age? I can have peace knowing there was someone within me who was not the totally inadequate nervous wreck, non functioning, human being living every day ashamed of herself. Who knows? Maybe I will start on a book about how the enabling of the narcissist was on all sides in the culture in which I lived. I can finally say, "I survived over 5 decades of narcissistic abuse. "

A side effect of Narcissistic Abuse Until you decide Enough is Enough Always REDUCE your exposure to negative people 💪🏻

This is exactly how I feel after 50 years of trying to be a family member in my family. I thought I was literally triggering the PTSD myself I mean I quit drinking I quit smoking cigarettes and it's still there. I think that I'm going to be in recovery for a long time from narcissistic abuse.

I was literally in tears while listening to this video. It’s like you knew how I was feeling today. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so very much Dr. C.

The worst part is I told some people and with the odd behavior they now think I am narcissist playing the victim. Absolute nightmare. Deep isolation is the only place I can feel normal.

I needed this information 60 years ago; however, your insight regarding narcissism has brought some clarity, sanity and peace of mind into my life!!! Thank You!!!

I'd imagine that with complex PTSD a person can not know why they want to both be alone and seek help even if it is from someone incapable of helping, someone who only re-traumatizes an individual unaware of what is happening.

I work in a Christian school. My Principal for five years was a male narcissist. He supported and enabled two obviously narcissistic staff no matter what. I used the free services of psychological counsellors available to me and their advice to me was to either resign or take legal action. I hung in there, and all three have left the workplace. A new Principal has arrived now, and another narc has also arrived. Thank God for this Principal. She sees the reality and is genuinely travelling on her spiritual path. I feel supported even though few words have been said.

I still relive past events. My mother is a narcissist. She was a stay at home mom who volunteered and then, worked at my school, so I could not get away from her. Thank you for this video. The most annoying thing about growing up with a narcissist are the flashbacks. I tell myself that was years ago. It is past time to end these flashbacks. However, they return again and again despite my annoyance.

What is bad is when you're not allowed to say what happened. What a Abusive Violent husband can do and the lies they tell the only things that matter to their victim, their children.

There's no pleasing a narcissist. It's a sickness;and a need to constantly find fault in their victim. The more you say good things about them, the more they struggle to make you doubt yourself. They stress you out emotionally. Ask them what's upsetting them about you, nine times out of ten they won't know!

Having just been told last Thursday that what I'm dealing with is C-PTSD, this video came just in time. Thank you Dr.C, I don't believe it right now, but I'm going to keep telling myself that I didn't deserve to be treated like that, and I hope one day that I will believe it.

This was done to you. It was not your own choosing or making. …wow! I honestly felt a sense of peace come over me when I heard you say those words! Thank you ❤

If you only knew my husband’s (and my) story dealing with his narcissistic step-mother and recently deceased father’s past 4 months, you would be totally in shock! We are seeking help. It’s more than horrendous. She has destroyed this family.

I’d think the biggest stress is trusting again. Baby steps still count as forward, though.

Dr. C: I've been divorced since 2017, having been married 14 years to a narcissist. I can't afford therapy and I've been unable to find any type of group-type therapy setting, let alone find others who've been through this and suffering from this post-traumatic stress. As much as I've come to find out through you and other channels how damaging the relationship was on my soul, I just can't shake away the trauma. I enjoy going to work and performing my job, but the minute I clock out I go into my shell. I don't have any friends; and it's not because I haven't tried, but there must be something that keeps people away (or me) from retaining close relationships. Thank you for the past several years of being there for me online.

What gets me is that when they're super sweet to your face while they're stabbing you deep in the back and twisting the knife while doing it especially when their role is to protect you

I meet all ptsd caragories but one. I have withdrawn from people. I avoid places. I remember the pushing. I remember a bottle of mouthwash being thrown at me / my car. He tried to get people to look down on me. Lots and lots of verbal abuse. He died 4 months ago and I am trying to heal.

My faith in the Lord helped me heal and restore me in such an amazing way, I dont lack anything. The process made me get closer to God. Thank you Jesus for never leaving me. ❤️🙏

The biggest issue for victims is that narcissists attack who you are. They attack your very essence. Essentially, the abuse consists of trying to make anyone but themselves feel like they are a bad person. This hurts, especially for people whose entire reason for existing is to be a good person. That's all most of us want, is to be a good person. This is the pain, and why so many people are hurt so badly by narcissists, and why the pain continues with PTSD. Thank you, Dr. Carter!!

10 pages into your book, When Pleasing You Is Killing Me, and I’ve already been smacked in the face with much needed validation, fundamental truths, and a re-learning of the healthy way of being. It’s just so…just…thank you! Thank you for your work, Dr. Carter.

The damage has been so profound that I am in a complete free fall. I’m trapped here for the time being, I can’t see a way out, I’m terrified of him, I’m watching my whole life crash down around me and I feel powerless to stop the progression. I cannot afford anything, much less pay for therapy or training.... malignant.

Every video I watch with you, Dr. Carter, just blows my mind! I’m in the process of trying to understand what has happened to me in a 26-yr marriage with a narcissist. I’m amazed at how much this video resonated with me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart once again!

I'm an empath and a creative. My mom, dad, older brother and sister (by 14 years) were/are narcs. Everyone thinks I am too sensitive and that it's ridiculous I don't let their abuse roll off my back. They also don't understand how a creative thinks so make fun of me. My exhusband and my friends were all narcs too. I suppose I attracted them as an empath and after all of the family abuse wasn't very confident in myself. 2 years ago I went no contact with family and friends. My ex remarried. I couldn't trust another man due to his cheating and abuse of me. I am good alone now. For all of those years I hung on because I didn't want to be alone. However, now I have peace, no drama, no ugliness and meanness. I even enjoy holidays alone. I'm tired now and just want to have a peaceful existence. The ugly stories I could tell. It makes me sad that so many people can be so abusive to others and hope to keep them under their thumb. The need of power, control is such an evil thing when used by narcs.

Deep isolation I’m trying to convince myself to go out to eat and treat myself kindly!

It takes time to heal from narcissist abuse because they don’t only break your heart, but spirit also. 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

Both of my parents were adult children. My mother's family expected me to take care of her. My father's family expected me to take care of him and nobody - I mean NOBODY - gave a thought to who was taking care of me.

100% avoidant! I don’t see how I could ever trust someone with my heart.

My mother is the main narcissist in my life ! I’m 51 years old so I’ve put up with her for way too long ! But what keeps me there is the fact that I’m an only child and I suppose I feel obligated to be there a! My mum is 85 yrs old and hasn’t got a friend in the world ! She needs help with things due to her age ! She caused me to have severe panic attacks ,anxiety amd depression,and I overcame most of this ! It I still have this feeling of absolute dread when I need to see her! She’s a horrible human being I’m so sad to say ! I couldn’t go into the millions of times she’s made me cry ! And all the emotional abuse I’ve suffered! I can’t seem to break away though as I know she has no one else !

This was very very helpful, because sometimes you feel so incredible alone with your feelings. I have been diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress and also panic disorder. I find it very hard to regulate my emotions. How can I find peace and balance in my everyday life? That is something I am always working on. It can be very exhausting.

I'm seeing myself here. This is how I've been this past 2 years. Every bit of it. The alcohol and self medicating. The isolation. Cutting myself off. Mistrust. I feel so alone and misunderstood because of the narcissist I'm up against. I'm now up at court and feel like no-one understands what the man has done to me.

The insane desire to reform the abuser no matter the personal cost.

My mother berated me every day growing up. I can’t recall a day where she didn’t tear me down. I was called a scum, that I looked like a dirty homeless hobo, that she was ashamed people knew I was her kid, that she hated having to look at me, I was stupid and worthless, even my mannerisms irritated her. As a very young child I wanted to be dead. I was having anxiety attacks as early as 2nd grade, at 12 years old I called her a B and, she chased me up the steps, through the downstairs, up the stairs where I slammed my bedroom door and she beat a solid door, the entire jam breaking way I was terrified so I picked up my pellet gun and had it ready as the door crashed open it was aimed at her face. That day, having done what I did, something broke terribly inside me that still affects me to this day. By 7th grade I had to be put on a strict bland diet for bleeding ulcers She ridiculed me till I ended up crying to the point of hysterics, then hear her scream up the stairs for me to shut up or she’d come give me something good to cry about. I couldn’t say anything to the doctors because she was always there and, everybody thought she was such a loving supportive mother. I hated living in that house. My sisters never lived a minute in my shoes. She just hated me. And, I am broken.

I'm ready to get my freedom back. I have tears as I listen to this video, it's all so true and so raw. Thank you for validating these emotions

I love the phrase, “wrong set of circumstances”👍🏼 That’s EXACTLY what it is. God please help me escape this black hole!

Wow! I just learned about PTSD from being around narcissists a few months ago. This explains the ongoing dreams, disturbed memories, avoidant reactions, and a wide array of mood swings. I’ve had a multiple autoimmune diseases, and now Long Haul Covid due to the traumatic stress of being “married” to a narc for almost 35 years. But, Jesus is my Jehovah Raphe-who heals me-emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Thank you Dr. C and Gus for explaining PTSD from narcissistic abuse. Something that has answered my question do I have PTSD-and yes!

I have night terrors and feel like I have no control over my emotions anymore...I trust no one...I just want to go off and live by myself. I'm scared all the time because I can't trust myself. I was never like this. I had peace & joy within myself...not anymore!💔😢

Wow, I find myself often thinking this isn't what I signed up for. I just wanted love, peace, and respect.

I relive it everyday from the time my eyes open till they close again. There is no escape from that reality.

This abuse started in my childhood. It's gonna take time for me to heal after decades of abuse. I am starting my healing journey.

Narcs old ringtone triggers me when i hear it in public. I start looking around for him

Wow. Just wow. I feel so validated~ listened to~understood~cared for~~~~and encouraged!~~~~by this video today. And I didn't have to say a word ❣️ Not enough ways in the world to express my gratitude to Dr. C & Gus. I am now going to enjoy a cup of tea in my favorite mug (the one with the picture of Dr. C & Gus) and let this message filter through my entire body. Ive already listened/watched 3 times. Such a blessing ❣️🙏❣️

I would have a serious issue when people said, "People pleaser-Co-dependent-YOUR FAULT" anything along those lines. BUT now I have found through watching MANY MANY KZfaq therapists that I have a trained response that has to be treated and changed with work on recognizing it and how to give myself permission to be normal and be worthy, etc.. It is a deeply engrained survival strategy to SURVIVE my narcissistic family of origin. So I could be accepted and cared for. Now that I think about it IF you denied and argued with my Mother she WOULD leave you alone in a city PARK! She did very damaging threatening things and scared the SHIT out of me! AS SHE DID THIS she taught the other kids, with me as the scapegoat, how to OBEY HER and to get away with abusing ME! I have for many many years HAD TO kiss MAJOR ASS to survive! It is not a "fault" but a WAY TO SURVIVE!

I was crying 😭 watching this. It fits me 💯. That is exactly how I'm living today. In solitude. A hermit. I keep ruminating every day. Because I've been abused. Physically, verbally, mentally, financially, sexually, and narcissistically. So I am now suffering from C-PTSD, OCD, and childhood trauma due to emotional neglect. I grew up with narcissists. 35 years. They messed me up really bad. I've been through it all. Gaslighting, manipulation, berating, and much more. And now I'm here living in a house with roommates. And I don't even go out. Well, not that much. I have physical and mental issues. Living with narcissists is hell. First my dad, (14 years, 1975-1990) then my auntie and cousins, (12 years, 1990-2002) and when my dad died in 2002, I moved in with my older sister in Georgia. (8 years, 2002-2010). And now I'm back in Cali. I have bad back and leg pain. Neuropathy. And a little more. So living with narcissists, it's horrendous to one's health. Physically and mentally. I know I need help. But it's too expensive. I have been meditating, praying, and relaxing more. Listening to peaceful music. That is how I'm coping with my problems. For now.

You can imagine the PTSD mess I was after surviving 2 narcissistic parents and one raging narcissistic sibling. To neutralize the narcissistic individual(s), take the following steps: 1. Secure them firmly to a chair with super strong duct tape. Do not use a flimsy or folding chair. 2. Pour a bucket of holy water onto their head. (Repeat step 2 until the monster is thoroughly doused and saturated) 3. Call a priest. 4. When the priest arrives, hand him a wooden stake and run away. (He might need the wooden stake) 5. Wait to see what happens. Observe from a safe distance. 6. If the house doesn't burn down and there are no signs of activity, approach with caution and find out wth happened. 7. If the afflicted individual seems human, thank the priest profusely and carry on with your life. 8. If not.. move to another continent like I did.

Yes...I DO HAVE PTSD...all you said is my story....I can hardly even comment. Yesterday would have been my 52nd wedding Anniversary to my husband who had PTSD and was a narcissist. He passed away 5 months ago. I have been a mess and I have pretty much isolated myself.

I'm late diagnosed autistic and lived in a narcissistic family system. I'm glad this content is on the internet. To experience undiagnosed CPTSD is truly the stuff of nightmares. It robs me of time but I am hopeful for myself. I cannot totally get away from my family system but I am developing strong boundaries and have outside support. I've lots of experience being hospitalized for the ill effects on my mental health over 30 years. I know there are lots of people in similar positions to myself and it saddens me what we've all had to endure, no one deserves bad treatment. Again, I am thankful for content like this.

When someone unexpectedly opens up to us who has suffered the same abuse from the same narcissist, it's a great relief, but sad too when there's little we can do to change the situation . Too many narcissists are put in positions of authority that protects them from exposure. Many misuse and abuse their power without address causing huge problems for the people under their authority. As governments, institutions and organisations become more controlling, narcissistic abuse is bound to increase.

For years. Years after the estrangement I would wake up at 2,3,4 am ruminating. I refer to it as, waking up to abusive people every morning. Then I would have significant trouble getting back to sleep. And this was every single morning. Waking up to why? Waking up to how? Waking up to shame, guilt, internal conflict. Always to conflict. I wake up exhausted and triggered, for lack of a better descriptor. I've left the shame and guilt with my abusers. Now mornings are a little better, manageable at least. I didn't even like how I felt every morning, edgy, anxious, irritable. I've tried some dietary changes but allowing the responsibility to rest on those who are actually responsible for this entire situation has been paramount to me reclaiming my life.

My 35 year old son is a covert narcissist. And yes I'm saying my own son is devious and evil. 18 months ago my son caught covid. We told him he couldn't stay with us with the virus. He's selfish and immature and has no respect for anyone but himself. He came home anyway. I caught covid 2 days later. My husband of 47 years caught it as well. He was dead within 4 days of testing positive. I feel my husband would still be here if my jerk of a son only listened and respected our wishes. ILL never forgive him for this. He took my husband and best friend out of my life. Forever. When he found out his dad died he showed no emotion. He didn't shed one tear. Within 2 hours of my husband's death he conveniently moved out and in with some random girl. He tossed me aside like trash. Left me here alone and in such grief and shock. He did this to his own mother. He didn't call to even see how I was doing, didn't text either. Nothing. Total abandonment. I was here all alone with no support or source of comfort and support. I asked him why would he choose this girl over his grieving mother. He said I was just collateral damage. 3 months ago I had a mental breakdown. I was very, very sick. Almost catatonic. Was 0ut on high doses of medications and I shouldn't have been left alone when I came home. I honestly thought I was going to die. He never called me or came over one time. The doctor said I have severe PTSD. By the grace of God I survived. Barely. That's when the lightbulb finally clicked on. It took me awhile. My husband's death and my son's abandonment broke me. I'm doing so much better. I've chosen no contact. He's not allowed in my home. Not allowed to call me or text. I lived through hell. I'm 68 years old. I find peace in the fact that my cruel narcissistic son can't hurt me anymore. When I think of him I get anxious and scared. Thank you and God bless you for sharing your videos on KZfaq. I rewatch them all the time to keep me motivated and strong. God bless you. You're helping so many people out there.🌹❤🌹

Everything you just described is exactly what I have experienced the past 2 years after getting away from a controlling narcassist. It's so sad that I always feel numb or angry nowadays. I used to be able to feel joy, but I don't anymore. I avoid people as much as I can because I don't trust anyone.

I got PTSD after getting robbed at gunpoint three times at work in a major drugstore. That was nothing compared to having to live with a narcissistic, older sister, with narc violent rages, for 10 years. She decimated what sanity I had left. The only thing I had left is Jesus Christ as my Savior. He kept me alive and got me out of her house last month. He is healing me. There is absolute joy in life when you walk with Jesus!!! "I can do all things in Christ, Who gives me strength." ✝️✝️✝️🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜 Also, I still love people! Because of Dr. Carter's videos, I am empowered with tools to recognize narcissistic behaviors and not get sucked back into their black hole of devastation. I see more clearly what they are trying to do and can walk away from their games.... guilt free. Then I lift them up in prayer for their mental health issues to be dealt with by the LORD. This battle is His. I can't fight it myself. Dr. Carter is proof GOD hears our prayers! 💜💜✝️✝️🙏🙏🙏

I'm everything Dr. Les has described... My boyfriend hung up on me Christmas morning, and for the first time in 1.5 years of this abusive relationship I stood by his side for, I haven't heard from for several days. I've gone through everything described. I'm going through all these emotions described to a T. I need help. I am struggling. If it weren't for these videos, I'm not sure I'd be able to pull through this. This is all I have.

I had been diagnosed with Cptsd before I had a run in with the narcissistic person in my life. I have been having nightmares, paranoia about who knows where I now live, and severe social anxiety since. It has been rough.

They blame everything on you…zero accountability. 😢 One of my biggest issues is not uncovering all the deceit and lies I was told. It’s beyond frustrating being manipulated. I wish they have support groups for people who have been through this trauma. I wouldn’t even know how to explain the confusion in my brain to another person. All the lies, gaslighting, rewriting of history screws with your perception.

EMDR therapy was tremendously helpful in getting through the darkest period of my CPTSD. Extremely effective.

You’ve completely hit me again Dr C. All your points on PTSD describe me and where my mum has put me in life. She’s 85 and yet when I think of the aggression, selfishness, entitlement, gaslighting and controlling she has put me under, and my wife, it’s overwhelming. And my brother doesn’t see it either as he tried contacting me (after a year) saying “why aren’t you speaking to mum, it’s not fair on her after all she’s done for you”. So the feeling of isolation from my own family and unloved, abandoned for decades that I didn’t realise was happening. I’m in therapy but so broken it’s hard to see any way forward. Your videos though really help as you 100% describe my mum and where I am and that is therapeutic, albeit upsetting. Thank you Dr C. ❤

I run from the phone ringing and have thrown it screaming at it to shut up...terror into anger in a split second

I’ve struggled so much with this, even in my forties with reliving shame and physically feeling it, so many decades later. I think I’ve finally stopped that, but I have such anger below the surface I don’t know how to get rid of. And I sometimes feel like I don’t KNOW how I feel.

Dr. Carter you are a Godsend! Your gentle and earnest approach makes it possible for me to share your videos with my children (ages 22, 19 and 16) as we try to process what we have just survived. Thank you for your heart. You are a lifeline! ❣️

My son realized this is what I was left with he has been the one loyal human in my life who loves and understands me, but he has suffered from the aftermath of a covert narc father and I have pointed him to yours and others for him to have help and understanding. We moved hundreds of miles away over 3 years ago and when I tried to join a communities narcs are right there+ flying monkeys, cannot be near these people it is very tribal.

A sadistic narcissist did and said several things (over a long period of time) that contributed to my husband's death 5 months ago! I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with this in addition to missing my husband! This man was in our lives for 20 years. By the time I realized what was going on it was too late to save my husband (we were married for 35 1/2 years when he died). He really suffered for 2 1/2 years while the 'demon' was manipulating both of us which included giving my husband toxic food and drinks that he'd become addicted to - possibly causing - but certainly spreading several cancers and brain tumors. I'm glad that I didn't tell my husband what I'd come to realize so he died thinking that this man was a friend and ally - not the enemy he was! Jealousy was a factor - he resented our marriage which he knew was happier than his. He and my husband both had/have Aspergers Syndrome so that was challenging enough for me without the events/manipulation/mind games that led to my husband's death! I did confront him about the things he's done and said - which clearly made him uncomfortable. Any respect and trust I had in him is now gone! I've been able to deal with and reconcile many difficult situations in my 77 years but this nightmare is in a 'class of ins own'!

I found support groups with other scapegoated people from dysfunctional families has helped me see how my own life was not just happening to me & it takes trust to go into a new group, which is hard for scapegoated children all grown up walking around as the scapegoated adults. I would hope that others see this that feel that groups that have harmed you are in a pattern & that when you were raised as a scapegoat, that you felt familiar around those that felt familial. When you seek help, know that there are therapists & support groups that understand the psychological patterns that come with having been raised as the scapegoats & that you do have a village & that it will be with those who understand the trauma & you can find the trustworthy people you were always worthy of having like those in healthy family systems do have. For me personally, starting my own family & raising my children knowing they are equally loved has helped me tremendously in seeing the patterns in my past & it’s possible to heal from the psychological warfare of your childhood & adulthood. You can heal & it’s possible. You were worthy of having a village & you never should have been so abused. You will go through grief & grief comes with mood swings, because grief is a process that swings from many intense feelings & that’s ok. It’s all a process that’s going to ultimately help you get to a healing that comes with acceptance & empowerment in accepting that you are one of many who have been abused as you were. It’s ok. You are a wonderful part of this world & I’m sorry so many people didn’t see that when you were a child & that such a pain has been with you since childhood. Nobody deserves the abuses you have survived & one day, you’ll be there to help another person in such pain that only you and those like you understand. Thank you for your service in being a part of this life and helping others heal, by healing. You are a beautiful part of this world. Thank you for being here. It’s going to be ok.

Having C-PTSD is really hard to live with but I'm working on it to the best of my ability! Rumination and the past deceased malignant narcs /sociopaths still live in my head "Rent-free", but "Gray rocking" them and going "No contact" has helped a lot! I have Pete Walker's seminal book on PTSD as he's also gone through that himself and is a therapist in the San Francisco area! He states in his book that there are some people who never truly recover and they're the ones who live by themselves, and surround themselves with books and their beloved fur-babies who are always there for you, and give you unconditional love! As an INFJ/HSP , creative empath and recovering co-dependent, I can relate to that! Thanks for your continued wisdom, love and support Dr. C, much appreciated~ 💗💜

Yes, I am always stressed, being busy and buy things to feel happy for one moment, busy busy busy, knitting, crochet, sewing, to forget

I needed this. I have dealt with so many horrible individuals through the early years of my life that I can identify a host of the post-traumatic behaviors in myself already. In my current situation of dealing with a toxic boss, I see that some of these post-traumatic behaviors have re-emerged and I've been struggling with them. Thankfully, I have my therapist and coworkers who see the inappropriateness of her behavior. My coworkers' witnessing of her inappropriate behavior towards me and others on my team is helpful validation as of late, but the self-validation is definitely an area that I want to reinforce as I go through this experience and any others that I may face in the future.

There are no support groups narcissism is a can of worms no one wanted to open up to the public,health people have been keeping the top on it ,that is why we need people like you Dr. Carter, health care in other countries is not so well equipped and does not have the expertise.

It can happen from a parent you love from a baby, a frightened parent who is afraid of being left alone. A parent who doesn't recognise or respect the uniqeness of her child, and pours all her troubles and insecurities into her, gaslighting and mocking her because it's easier than looking within. The parent shows no interest in wanting to change or grow.

I have PTSD. Joining the US army when I was 18 and having narcissistic leaders caused it. I enlisted as an E-1 so I guess that meant anyone with rank E-4 and above was allowed to treat me as trash. Right before I got honorably discharged an E-4 who was temporarily assigned as my boss tried to make me crawl through the polluted water next to the motor pool where all the vehicles are kept. I knew that wasn't a legal form of punishment and told him I wouldn't do it. Then my platoon leader(E-6) says he's going to call the military police on me for not obeying the illegal order. I walked away and thankfully got out within that month. There were lots of incidents of abuse that happened to me similar to that in the US army. I was diagnosed with PTSD and have made a lot of recovery after learning about narcissistic abuse. Also, I was in Kosovo in year 2000 and saw some horrible things there. You can see my videos on my KZfaq channel.