Gotta be careful, it might get ideas and try hitting you with a typewriter, too.

Since you tied it up facedown I think it would be a 'hogtie'.

this shows how he really like that chair

Id leave to if you made me put up with some of the things that chair has seen.

he used bridal rope so she couldn't get away

Or perhaps a Tongue In Groove (TIG) welder.

I thought it 'wood' be a timberallurgist ?

RCN Bosun trade, If ye cannae tie knots...tie lots.

That's the kind of wizardry they teach surgeons nowadays

@@jmaclaren4147 Fuc'kn bosn's. Fuc'kn bosn's... (course, I'm a stoker...)

My grandad taught me the clove hitch and I use it often. I never get smug about it though.

@@issaccartwright736 as he boasts about it lol

Thats funny m

Preferably on female variety, the man boobs don't do it for me

We need to talk...with beers...many many beers. Aussie

It's a little small, but by this point I've invested so much sitting time...

Something-something sunk cost fallacy

@@arduinoversusevil2025 just fold out the outriggers for hauling a wide load

And there's always the steel glue nails

Yeah, you need to shave it down to raw-dog to make wood glue work like it should

Just weld it..........

Or just sand i

Gorilla glue worked wonders on my "fancy" wooden kitchen chairs that came out of the neighbors garbage. Didn't even bother cleaning the holes out, just shot em full of goo and stabbed the peg back in, then cranked it down tight with a couple ratchet straps and left it over night. They've been holding up for about 6 years now.

Remember, you should be able to slide two fingers between the rope and skin if you’re doing it properly.

Seven smashed lips sucker versus a whole bunch of what evers and you got your self a frying pan paradise, its beer o'clock somewhere amen.

Dufresne

I don't know when your birthday is, I'm guessing this year. But anyway, check vice grip garage. Happy Birthday.

Ass kisser!

Uncle bumblefuck

Like getting splinters ? Good times!!!

Uh oh now youre never gonna get rid of it 😉

@@pentachronic I actually found some very nice cushions for it, too. So no, no splinters.

His is still "splinter-nuut" . . .as we would say in Afrikaans . . .here in the shirthole cuntry of South-Afrique.

@@mkultra4542 Yes, splinter nuut, nou is hy maar net as in the grond.

It's a pretty big bottle of glue too.

@@Chris-du7hi Wood elf disguising as steel termite

I'll try that some time, I usually use shavings and glue...

And if it does not work you will never get glue to stick ever again.

@@peterwill3699 You clearly have no clue how much dry wood will absorb oil as if it was water and how much it will swell, however unlike water the oil won't evaporate. Try a test for yourself take a scrap board drill a dead-end hole then take a piece of dowel, make sure the they will be a snug fit now fill the hole halfway with the cheapest motor oil you can find and pound the dowel in, let it sit for 2 days then try to separate them. I've been making rustic outdoor benches out of logs for decades like this. All with a chainsaw, bit and brace and homemade shillelagh, take a log cut off 2 rounds the length you want the bench to set above the ground, then cut a length of what you desire the bench to be, split the log length wise, flip flat side down, on either end cut a flat just big enough for the rounds. Flip back up right and mock up on the rounds, sit straddled on bench and use bit and brace to drill 2 holes threw the bench top into the rounds, 4-6 inches into the rounds is enough, take a foot of dowel trim one end enough to start it in the hole, fill hole with oil and smack that dowel home, trim flat and repeat till you have 2 dowels per round ideally 4 inches or more apart for stability then place bench next to your favorite firepit or trail side vista, pond what ever it will never loosen up and if you debark everything first there shouldn't be any rot, I've had these things around for 20+ years no issues. Wood working is simple and you don't need fancy expensive tools unless you're lazy and like to flash money around instead of working with your brain and hands! Sure it'll smell a little like motor oil for like a week so you wash off any excess and put it in a shed for a few days. I've fixed plenty of chairs, tables and even stairway banisters this way, never had to re glue, pound a nail back in, tighten a screw in a year or deal with squeaks.

Not Linseed oil?

@@jmarevans I've never tried that, I learned this from an old timer, he never said why motor oil, if you try others I'd stay clear of food oils that will spoil and stink when rancid. If you try linseed I'd use boiled linseed. If I had to guess, the typical oils used in woodworking typically for finishes are too thin and won't make the wood swell enough.

Big Clamp can't sell you every size under the sun if you just use a tag of rope.

Just improving his bondage game with the better three quarters

@@danhammond8406 It's confusing enough that there's a router in networking and a completely unrelated router in woodworking, don't tell me that there's such thing as bondage in woodworking to go with a completely unrelated bondage in networking. (For those who aren't into IT, bondage is one way to make multiple parallel network links act like a single faster network link. Did 3x 100BaseT links on two PCs to a Cisco switch back when I was in college and Gigabit was still really expensive. Changed to IEEE1394 instead since that was equivalent to 4x 100BaseT and didn't have the packet jitter issue bondage can have.)

Ratchet straps make a good clamp, particularly around something like a picture frame.

I've always known it as the Hungarian Dominatrix.

There's a few names for it. I've heard "Spanish Windlass" and also "Polish Winch"....

The “Mexican Comealong”.

Ah yes, the old ‘Come ‘ere Viet Cong’

I've heard that referred to as a San Francisco hogtie

They got the old episodes on KZfaq. But don't do it! It'll ruin the false nostalgia.

@@arduinoversusevil2025 Like watching MacGyver.

So what, I’ll have another Nahm flashback… Carpentry = therapy

Holy shart balls you’re still burnin the dead tree carcasses up there!? Fork me I’m on the front porch in shorts and boots looking American as F down here in ol’ Indianaderp!

@@flyingdutchmanforge5795 Got chucked in the KZfaq slammer huh? Never mind. Happens to the best of us.

What about that ice storm blackout thing? Almost looked like a balmy spring day on Hoth.

@@goldenandlilchick That is north/central Texas. We don't claim them. In December on Christmas day, you could play in the snow in Amarillo and drive south 9-12 hours and swim in the ocean. All in Texas.

@@goldenandlilchick That was also a freak event. Some areas got snow that rarely sees temp below freezing. That being said I could go the rest of my life without dealing with snow again. That was awful.

I was half expecting the whole thing to wind up in the stove by the end.

@@buillioncubes Yep... Great minds think a like! LOL

@@raymitchell9736 😂👍

Have a hard time using it since it smells like some holes I happed in my younger years

Wood welding.

The coolest ones are where you kiln dry everything and fit them exact size and they swell together at equilibrium moisture

I get a chuckle out of 'em. I got a marriage license to laugh at my own jokes.

why not both, that way you can skip the dominatrix action