Man, I just want to be healthy. I don't even care about achieving any nebulous ideal of 'happiness', I just want to be able to go out in public and not suffer intense background anxiety every time, I just want to be able to meet new people and not avoid them because of the anxiety, I just want to be able to live a normal bloody life

My superpower is having social anxiety despite never being bullied

“You are not a machine with broken parts. You are a human being with unmet needs.” -Johann Hari

Even the simplest things like going to the grocery store are scary to me because the thought of having to talk to the cashier is terrifying. It feels like I've lost my best years in high school and uni to anxiety. I will try to apply your knowledge and see where that leads me. Your video has really opened my eyes.

It's actualy insane that he puts this for free on the Internet. What a GOAT

“Thankfully he didn’t lose his PSP” Dr. K knows what’s important

My girlfriend has social anxiety and as someone who is basically socially fearless I struggle to understand and relate, but I want to be as supportive as I can bc I love her. This helped a lot. Thanks Dr K

You're never broken. Your brain/mind always try to work in your favour, however misguided and pain-inducing that can be. That goes for everything, not just social anxiety. You're always doing your best based on your current understanding. Some of your positive qualities might be clouded by your struggles, but you don't deserve the pain you're feeling. Good luck on your journey, I wish you all the best.

I don’t know how to convey everything this video has done for me. I’ve spent the last 12 years in therapy with medication to handle my social anxiety and no one has ever, EVER just spoken to me like this about it. I wrote a psych paper in community college, 2018 about my social anxiety because i was so enthralled with the instincts that came to people through animal nature. I didn’t understand WHY it made so much sense and even though my psych teacher loved my essay; she couldn’t even answer why it related so well. I started sobbing half way through because i somehow managed to solve my entire problem with social anxiety from 2018. I know how to move forward now. I’m still in therapy and I cannot WAIT to scream about this to my therapist. I really hope somehow through this delirious mess you understand how grateful for what you and this channel do for people like me, who lived the EXACT same life as Adam did.

I'm realizing now that the social anxiety I had for much of my life was triggered by conversations, not eyes; I could be the center of attention as long as nobody was interacting directly with me. When I was a kid, I was the weird kid and often felt easily dismissed or misunderstood when I actually did have something to say, so I learned to avoid conversations to avoid embarrassment. Instead, I learned that people will like you if you can do something impressive, so I ended up overcompensating by trying to be the best at anything that came along. Fast forward 15 years; I'm a musician and I feel no anxiety on stage because it's my time to shine, but as soon as I step off stage I retreat to the corners and try not to say anything because I couldn't hold a conversation to save my life. Another 5 years and I have learned to deal with most of the issues, and looking back, it's because I learned some of the strategies you suggest. I noticed I was feeling fear anytime someone talked to me, but I tried to practice conversating and allowed myself to turn away when I needed to. Eventually, the joy of having friends was stronger than the fear of embarrassment and so conversations are much easier for me now. Thank you for this video, it helps so much for me to put into words and thoughts what I was only vaguely aware of before

I wasn't quite bullied, but I never fit into any kinds of groups at school. This is a quote from somewhere but "Too cool to be a nerd, too nerdy to be anything else." Basically defined my school life. Some people liked me but I didn't really have common ground with anyone. Didn't help that I moved schools super frequently. By the time I graduated High School I'd been to 18 different schools. So I think after my early elementary school years of actually making friendships only to lose them, I just stopped trying to make friends since I knew it wouldn't last anyway.

When I was 4 years old both of my parents would yell at me every time I tried to get their attention. This would prevent me from trying to talk to classmates, kids on the playground, and even coworkers in my adult life. How you treat a child affects them forever. But knowing it's not a life sentence is comforting.

"Oh Amygdala, have mercy on the poor bastard!"

I think this is Dr.K's first sponsor. It is Interesting how Social anxiety comes from a learned behaviour.

even online I feel anxious. I literally can’t play multiplayer games, with other people. there are so many opportunities I wasted, friends I didn’t make because of anxiety. I hate it so much.

Dr. K is setting very high bars for therapists. His ability to explain problems and solutions eloquently is amazing!

i actually had a similar situation. I get anxious when my girlfriend's parents are looking at me. And i think it's because in the 8th grade i had a girlfriend who's mom yelled at me and made me cry because she thought i was the reason her daughter was suicidal. I think this video helped me see this. and yes more case studies

Honestly, to hear that how I act online is my normal self is so endlessly relieving. I always get worried about telling people I have social anxiety, I don't know which is the real me-- online me, or my personality in person shrouded with anxiety? To know online me is just my real self with my critical thinking and higher functioning brain actually at work just makes me so happy.

What if communication online also gives me extreme anxiety? It’s to the point I have lost friends because replaying to texts makes me so stressed I rather don’t reply at all

As a 20 year old who was one year ahead all the way through middle and high school and was bullied for some years, I don't need to tell you how helpful this was...

Has anyone else lowkey had social anxiety like their whole life and it just got worse and worse? I'm at a point where some days I'm too scared to leave my room and go to the bathroom because my flatmates might hear or see me... Since moving out in January (turned 18 in March), I've had to force myself more to deal with my anxiety. However, this literally just makes things worse. It's never "battling my demons", it's sitting next to them paralysed while they attack me until I'm nearly dead and then I have to heal to do it again. People act like I need to "just do it", but I'm already at the point where "just doing it" is ALL I can do. None of it is EVER a choice. Even sometimes when it's absolutely necessary for me to do something - I just can't. Stepping outside genuinely feels like I'm standing at the edge of the cliff where I'm expected to jump. Where I'm expected to just trust that everything will be okay. In fact, I really think I'd rather jump off a cliff than be near people some days. I remember growing up and always having my anxiety dismissed as being "shy" and "an introvert". Yeah, hell no. I honestly think I'm an extrovert, but I also feel like my social anxiety has damaged me beyond repair. I can't imagine a life without it.

When I was depressed and very anxious in middle school (ended up staying home alot) one of the worst feeling I had would be finally managing to get to class, but I would be late so the whole class would always look at you. That feeling always felt like shit. I never had a at school bully tho, but similar feeling I think

I'm 22 years old. All my life I thought that feeling anxious, sweating, shaking, feeling like I'm always being watched and judged in any social context was absolutely normal and everyone felt the same way. Two years ago, I found out social anxiety was a thing. I'm not normal yet, I still have social anxiety and most of the time I can't control it but understanding the process that my brain was going through every time I left the house, was a major step to be able to calm down and believe that, indeed, it was all in my head. And this video felt like a therapy session... Thank you :))

This vid spoke out to me. Nobody understands social anxiety better than those who actually live with it. Social anxiety can be the simple things others would consider as normal. For me, saying hello or being the initiator of a conversation is a big no. I dread human interactions. I dread being just in a room filled with people. It's much deeper than just not wanting to be around people. It's the intrusive thoughts. It's the lack of self-esteem or worse, it's deeply rooted in childhood trauma.

The other thing I've learned was that if I'm friends with the person having the party, I can offer to show up early before everyone else and help set up, and then when the other people start trickling in, there is no uncomfortable moment of walking in and everyone looking at me, because I was already there

Never bullied, yet I've had this for as long as I can remember and have no clue where it came from

People with social anxiety know that it’s more than just being shy or quiet. This video taught me that and made me understand why my view on social anxiety was more complex than most people make it out to be. Thank you so much, this video is amazing!

this is so crazy because, I'm 24, working on my anxiety by myself and these are things i've actually learned and noticed on my own. i got into meditation, simply observing my thoughts, letting go, and it's helped a lot. i'm incredibly proud of myself, and especially now since you've mentioned everything i've learned, it's all falling into place. i'm on my way there. a video like this wouldve helped so much earlier on, but thank you for making it. it will help a lot of people i'm sure.

Kinda surreal how at the beginning Dr K was literally describing me. 21yo male named Adam that was a year ahead in school. Guess I have a doppelganger out there somewhere

8:15 "Being looked at means danger, he does not want to be seen, to be seen is to be targeted" Well that explains a lot, about why I'm such a loner and like empty spaces.

what about having social anxiety without a known cause? for most of my life everyone has liked me and i've never really been bullied, and yet social situations make me terrified and i avoid them as much as i can.

I used to be a hikikomori for like 6 yrs and recently got a job as a delivery driver, it's really helped me come out of my shell bc I don't have time to be anxious while I'm in critical thinking/problem-solving mode trying to find their address, read special instructions, etc. If I can do that, anything is possible, I know y'all can overcome this too and as someone who relates, I believe in you! It is so possible to heal! Supportive friends help too! ❤️✌️😇

adults around me would make fun of my appearance when i was a toddler. i distinctly remember being 3 years old and listening to family members talking about my ugly nose and neck. the insults continued throughout my childhood and teen years. it really didn't help that i was so socially anxious, the popular kids at school ended up bullying me too. i was always the weird, quiet kid who had no friends. my parents would yell at me for being too quiet, too awkward, too anxious, saying that i was embarrassing them and i was making them sad. and that i would be a pretty girl if it wasn't for my cowardly personality. those words are still seared into my brain now that i'm almost 30. be careful what you say to kids. surely a huge contributor to my depression and anxiety (i'm a lot better now after therapy and meds and various life events). the exposure therapy thing is true for me. it wasn't really therapy that did it, but a life-threatening emergency where i had to scream and beg and cry for help. i was just standing around begging strangers to help me, and they did. none of them were hostile. they all treated me compassionately, like i was a normal person. erased 90% of my social anxiety in a single night

I just realized there are people who arent absolutely terrified of social situations or phone calls. I thought this was normal

Kind of wished this worked with me, but unfortunately me being ugly is the barrier I'm facing with my social anxiety. I look like a man but I'm physiologically female so I've been an easy target for bullying ever since I was 5. All the way up to 18 was I targetted for this, even in my 30s I am targetted for this as I was simply out walking minding my own business when somebody walked by me and made a comment about me to try and be funny to their friend. I've spent my time ever since weaving through quiet streets purposely going different ways to avoid people that walk towards me, I haven't even gone food shopping in public or requested delivery because that involves somebody looking at me. I don't even have RL friends or a job. I'm trying my best to survive on the internet. It's hard, really hard.

I have social anxiety at 30.... Literally lost the will to meet other humans. There's too much stupidity and meaniness nowadays

“You’re only anxious at the party then the anxiety is going to go away” Oof, I wish that’s how it worked for me. What if social anxiety is a constant feeling that never leaves you? I’ve gotten it really bad since the pandemic and I can’t think of a time when I wasn’t thinking about someone else’s reaction to me or something I say

reading the comment section and seeing how other people have similar experiences as I do is so comforting. social anxiety has always made me feel so abnormal and incapable of having a normal life (feeling so bad all the time that I can't enjoy simple things with other people, or being unable to hold a conversation or make a connection and not knowing why) but actually reading other people with similar experiences makes me feel less alone :]

For me, the early bad experience was tied to Math. I remember vividly my emotionally distant father "trying" to help me back when i was in second or 3rd grade and just giving up on me. Just walking away from the kitchen table around dinner time while verbally annoyed. Never got the help i needed at home and when i entered 8th grade it was overfilled classrooms in an underfunded school, so i spent 3 years just looking out the window in math class. When it came time to choose a college i didn't have the skill set necessary but entered colleges regardless and wasting 2 years jumping between them with no aim. Finally at age 23 i finished a college with no grade in math, (workshop related line of study) but it cost me my mental health as by not knowing anything of the basics of math. i could barely keep myself afloat and combined by living far away from home with my siblings having already left home and moved across the country, i lived isolated with only one friend and my mother. (they lived and hour away) Came home from college in 2017 with high anxiety levels, my mother then spilled the beans that she was in a new relationship with the local conspiracy theorist that had been our neighbor for the past 6 years. Got kicked out and had to live with my schizophrenic half-brother while working. After living with him for a year and a half while working as a janitor i was so mentally ill that i had developed emotional numbness. Spent the later parts of 2019 and up until this point recovering from mental illness. I've now moved across the country closer to my siblings and formed stronger bond with them, and I've regained my emotions, i still need to work on math as that was completely post pone'd due to mental illness. The only wall i have to climb now is knowing enough math to enter a local company and start working, which i'm working on. Still have problems believing in myself but i'm getting there.

I guess it began when I was a little kid, I got rejected when I tried to make friends. Not necessarily being bullied, just being a guy who nobody picks. Things get worse at home because I usually don't allow to express my opinions, so I became a fully quiet guy. I don't want to blame anybody. At this point, I think I already accepted it as my life path.

This made me cry. I am so thankful for this. It all started for me in my first years of middle school, and I don't necessarily remember what started it or what happened, but I absolutely recognize that 'If people are looking at me, I'm in danger' feeling. For what feels like forever, everytime people look at me I battle with myself endlessly. I constantly think they dislike me, that they think something's wrong with me, that they see how anxious I am, so I try to make my leave from that situation as fast as possible. It doesn't have to be a lot of people though, usually just one person- one on one interactions are worse. I think it may be worse because everytime I have 1 on 1 conversations with my parents, they mock me or insult some part of me. They say something's wrong with me, mock my voice, say I'm acting weird, or say I look terrible. I tried to ask my mother if I could try out makeup because masks have always helped me, and makeup could be a mask that would help with anxiety. She just yelled and said I was mentally dented and something was wrong with me because I wanted to try makeup. I had called the police on my father for abusing my younger brother and was shaking like a leaf in the wind the entire time. While waiting for the police to arrive, I stood out in the forest to be alone. My mother approached, looked me dead in the eyes, and said I was what destroyed the family. I broke down and sobbed of course, I love my mother and look up to her as one of my closest allies on this planet, and in that moment that direct eye contact and her having so much hatred in her eyes broke me. She then started to yell at me for crying, calling me pathetic. Everytime I cry infront of my parents, they call me pathetic or useless. I am so touch deprived,whenever somebody touches me affectionately I tense up and never know how to respond. It's so unknown to me, but I miss it so badly. Animals have always brought me peace because when they look at me, there is no hatred or judgement. It's like we understand eachother, and I feel completely at peace with them, even if they're an animal people would be scared of. I'm not sure how, I had encountered a bear in the forest and my fight or flight response was so much more calm than it had been in the school cafeteria. How am I less scared of a bear than I was of people? We moved every 4 years so I don't have any close friends in person, but I do have friends online and they're really dear to me. Sometimes it feels like they're the only ones keeping me sane. I did move out to live with my parent's friends for a month, and during that month I felt a lot more healthy and responsible. I took much better care of myself and was way more productive, I made a decent amount of money on my art. I was still anxious and awkward at times, but I had a new sense of safety and confidence. But now that I'm back home, my sense of self worth and my motivation to put any effort in myself or anything that I love is practically gone. I think my first step to getting better is probably leaving this house, and maybe affording a psychologist or psychiatrist to help with those final steps. That all requires a job, though, and the worst part about that is social anxiety coming into play in every single important step of my life, it feels like. I just want to be able to experience the life and live the experiences that others feel without being controlled by primal instincts. I will try to just notice the anxiety and take this advice, thank you.

i relate to adam's story a ton, especially since i was bullied at a young age too, and have social anxiety. every person i encounter i feel like they're out to get me.

it is almost frustrating how accurate this is as far as the inception of the anxiety and the feeling that I am not going to be anxious... UNTIL the moment happens and it literally takes over my body. Heart rate BLASTS through the roof to the point it feels like I am actively running or fighting

I legit started crying when you said being seen means being targeted. I think I've always been what people call shy, but the actual hardcore social anxiety feels learned from bullying. I've learned so much from your videos and it gives me a broader context for my own personal therapy journey that I've just begun. I've had so many "oh, holy shit" moments watching your explanations. Even though I'm very aware that a lot of my struggles come from self esteem issues and anxiety around inferiority and shit like that, laying out the paths of the wires the way you do really really helps. I dunno if you get a chance read comments on here, I know you are very likely super busy with practicing and your channel and everything else. But if by chance you do see this, I just want to thank you for your efforts to help others and by indirectly helping me see things with more clarity. Cheers.

I think the "bully" for me was my father mainly who died in 1992.. I'm 53, and still anxious, never married, not even close, struggled with employment all my life, mental illness, drinking problems, trauma... it's some serious shit for sure. I just started taking ativan and prozac and I can barely function

Social anxiety begins when you experience bullying the first time, it does not matter how old you are when this process begins, it is cumulative over your lifetime.

I got social anxiety after moving to the US from a foreign country, suddenly the culture shock combined with the feeling of never fit in. People don’t want to talk to me as they directly think I don’t know the language. Not knowing how to act at certain situations and social norms making me feel uncomfortable in the conversation, so afraid of offending people. After 10 years lived in the state, still feel like an outsider, but gradually accepting that I am different😅

i wish i had seen this when i was in university and that i get to hear that im actually not broken, i legit remember i had to have at least ONE HOUR of just sitting still inside my room psyching myself up just to go out and go to class,, like who does that?? i would get up at ass crack of dawn just to be mentally ready 😩 (its even worse when i was running late since i didn't get to have that session of psyching myself up, it's really feels like going to war completely unprepared 😭) and oh man i don't even wanna think abt the days leading up to a presentation in front of class, i would be a complete numb anxious wreck for an entire WEEK ugh i don't honestly know how i managed to survive school lmao

It's interesting, ever since I was younger many people (even professionals) have told me that putting myself in social situations many times is the key. But I started losing hope after 6 months and still having the same level of anxiety I've had from the beginning. I guess when I was younger I was pretty insecure and with a strong victim mentality, to the point a change of attitude was not even considered, ig that contributed to stagnation. Now watching this video and researching more about social anxiety made me feel much more confident and informed about myself and understand why I react a certain way in specific social situations. I do believe it's still an inherent problem, because I remember being an extremely shy and quiet kid in 1st grade all the way through 12th, and the environments I found myself in just exacerbated these very aspects into social anxiety. Being this critical and analytical about myself helped me a lot. I wish I was treated this way with a more in-depth look at what triggered my anxiety, instead of just throwing myself into situations hoping for the best..

I had parents that screamed at me for every Minor mistake, whenever i mess up something they make Fun of It, and even when i could escape from them with my online friends, they also were really toxic and narcissist so thats why i have social anxiety

I will never understand bullies

I was never bullied by peers but I was mercilessly bullied by my older sister and constantly criticised - now many years later I find I am filled with social anxiety which is made so much worse by being a seemingly outgoing person, but nobody knows the horrors that are happening inside.

holy crap the whole thing about being able to convince yourself when you're alone but cant when its happening makes so much sense now! thank you for the explanation, this is gonna make it so much easier to explain to my parents/friends! I struggle so much with telling myself its gonna be okay and that I can do something and when the time comes, I feel like I'm not even in control of my own body...

I am 21 and suffering from extreme anxiety/adhd , I cant even go to the doctors without a mental breakdown and crying c: thank you for the insight.

I'm 21 years old female. I was tirelessly bullied at school, I switched schools 4 times and I was already being slightly bullied in preschool. Everytime I walk in a highschool I feel disgusted and if there are teenagers on the door waiting to go inside and I have to walk throught them to go to work my muscles start trembling, I start sweating and I dont do eye contact with them otherwise I would be completely debilitated. Just walking through is so fucking complicated but I dont avoid that situation because I want to force myself to not let it debilitate me. Everytime I talk about bullying or I see it on movies and stuff I cry and get so sad and it takes me back to that time where it felt like highschool was an eternal torture. Whenever I do presentations I get so anxious that at some point in the presentation I can't hold it in and start laughing and crying simultaneously. Its like I'm embarrassing myself I feel so ashamed and sad that I finish school but I can't move on from the pain.

Please hear me, anyone struggling, even if financially it’s hard, please seek help. I didn’t and it slowly devolved and got worse. Now I have severe bouts of PTSD that have damn near ruined my relationship with my partner who felt they had to help “re-raise me” to help me overcome my childhood trauma. This left him feeling so drained and hateful that it just came off as him being hateful over me having mental health problems. Trust me, GET HELP, it can only get better if you do

Honestly I’m not sure why I have social anxiety... even when I make friends online, it’s easier, but I still feel anxious talking to them and meeting them...

Was never bullied, but I've had social anxiety all my life. I've never really known otherwise, it's kinda sad. My natural reaction is to be scared of people, I have to really work to think myself out of it.

This makes a lot of sense because the majority of my social anxiety comes from thinking that other people will make fun of me or ignore me if i put myself out there, and its because of how i was treated as a child. All those feelings have always stuck with me but dr k has helped so much in teaching me how to unlearn all those things. Thank you dr.k you're exactly the type of person the world needs

For some on the autistic spectrum (a very wide spectrum), reading other people in order to have a natural conversation is difficult or impossible because their brain doesn't do the necessary realtime processing. They can fill the gap with learned techniques, but it is slow, tiring and unnatural because it uses up slow, conscious cognitive bandwidth. Better to understand that and fit around it than try to change the unchangeable , which leads to self doubt and turns anxiety into depression.

social anxiety is a topic i really want to hear more about, not because i think i have social anxiety ( i dont really wabt to call it that), but rather i feel like listening to what they say can help give insight to what i can look at in myself

this is me except im 30 and I always fluster/blush due to the adrenaline rush. It literally has made my life extremely hard. Don't wish it upon anyone.

Thanks so much for this, especially the part about shame. I've spent so long feeling so ashamed for even having this problem, and opening up to people only for them to tell me that it was my fault and I should just get over it. I would try to force myself to do things hoping it would go away, but I'd just fail and feel like shit about it. Being more empathetic with myself really helped and I'm actually getting better now

I've had terrible social anxiety since high school and I can't believe how accurately dr k put to words what it feels like to have social anxiety.

Bullying is like stomping on a young growing sapling, it destroys its potential and produces a lifelong hardship to overcome. As a bullied kid myself, i'm always filled with physical anger and a urge for violence when i hear stories of bullying.

To all of us going through anxiety, just know that you're not alone :)

“When you let fear control your life, you end up at a place that’s worse than what you were trying to avoid.” "The stronger a man is the more gentle he can afford to be" "tears don't represent weakness: they represent depth of feeling" "Once we're thrown off our habitual paths, we think all is lost, but it's only here that the new and good begins." “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

As a counselling student this was a really easy to understand way of explaining these processes. As someone with anxiety, I've been doing a lot of exploratory work and I only recently realised how much childhood bullying is at the cause of it. Really really loved and wanted to thank you for this, especially with where I am in my personal journey

As someone who’s had devastating social anxiety and treated part of it the exact way he’s talking about, he is very accurate. I related heavily when he said at some point you’ll realize the feeling of anxiety is still there there but you’re able to look past it. When that happened with me I was honestly confused because I’d never been so in touch with both my mind and body. Then drugs came back in the picture and I’ve regressed a little bit. Don’t underestimate the negative impact drugs can have on your life. Sometimes things happen you never imagined.

There are literally no words that can express what I'm feeling after watching this. I have been dealing with anxiety my entire life, but it has steadily gotten worse the older I get. I've tried seeing therapists in the past, but they always either lean on medications that tend to leave me apathetic and suicidal, or they turn toward visualization meditation which just leaves me more frustrated because I have aphantasia. The last therapist I visited literally refused to believe I couldn't visualize anything and kept pushing until I finally lied and said, "sure I can see this cabin you're describing," just so we could move on and I could get out of there. After that I gave up on the process altogether and just resigned myself to remaining "broken" for the rest of my life. Since then it has gotten to the point that it is now full blown agoraphobia. I can't work. I can't go shopping. I can't even go visit family. It completely controls my life. Even thinking of leaving the house or making a phone call can send me into a panic attack. The times that I had no choice but to go out (literally no more that 3 times in the last two years), it was only because of Covid that I was able to do so without falling into a full blown panic since hiding behind a mask seems to curb it a little once I finally manage to drag myself out the door. Until now, I never understood why this was happening to me. I knew I had multiple issues stemming from various childhood traumas that I won't go into here, but I never thought that those could be the primary building blocks that eventually led to this agoraphobia since the worst of my anxiety issues did not start to take over my life until I was already out of college and a few years into a productive career. I just assumed there was something wrong with my brain and nothing and no one would ever be able to help me. So thank you for helping me to see that it might not be so hopeless after all. I just need to find someone knowledgeable enough to help.

If you're experiencing some of these symptoms, also look into autism and how your brain processes information. Not looking people in the eyes can be simply being shy, OR it can be because your brain can't focus on processing their words AND looking at them at the same time. People with what is currently considered a form of autism (once Aspergers) are easily startled, often strongly dislike loud sounds or bright lights, sometimes experience a deep sense of uncertainty about themselves and have trouble connecting with their own emotions and yet paradoxically these emotions can well up and overwhelm them. Some people with autism sometimes can't understand facial expressions, don't understand the need for small-talk, and tend to take these literally (although these things can be "learned" as a mask in order to fit in.) Some have no social filter, while others experience selective mutism. Many autistic people have careers and families, but always feel that there is something different about them. Never feeling like you're completely human and just don't fit in can be extremely distressing, but understanding that some of it is that your brain works differently can really help.

I really liked this. My daughter is 15 & on the spectrum. She was bullied very badly & has some parallels to Adam. Thank you for posting this.

I just want to make a disclaimer about case studies. Please take them with a grain of salt. An individual is too complex for case studies to be valid and reliable. But they do allow us to try and speculate what variables could have been at play that allowed those particular results.

These videos really helps a lot, not only you're giving directions for people who are facing similar troubles, but also educating everyone about how the brain works. I'd love to see more!

What about unlearning behaviors that are taught, not experienced? I don't think I've ever been embarrassed publicly or in school or anything, I'm 99% sure I have social anxiety because my Mom told me at a young age that the whole world is evil and out to get you (she's not crazy, just super protective). No matter how many friends I have or how many awesome people I've met, I still can't shake that feeling of being anxious :( even talking to the pizza guy or answering an unknown phone call makes me nervous. Does anyone else think they were taught to be anxious? I'm genuinely curious

This is almost exactly what I went through in 2nd grade. For some reason, everyone in my class, including the teacher, bullied me or treated me like trash. I was really kind. I go physically bullied, and the teacher let it happen. I'm in 10th now, and it's horrible. I cry, thinking about socializing. I never want to go anywhere. I keep telling my parents it is not just shyness, and it's something serious, and I need therapy. I've almost had panic attacks at school and always was very nervous before leaving home. Bully can damage peoples life for years :(

It is INSANE how similar Adam is to me. The being a year ahead, being bad at sports, being at the lower end of the pecking order.... it is so relatable.

To my bullies in high school. Thank you for giving me social anxiety

thank you for this, it really made me feel hopeful my case is kinda different, i feel anxious even online, even while being completely anonymous im really scared about hearing anything negative about me, and totally anxious about strangers not liking me the problem is, i don't know what's the reason behind this fear i have couple more problems like walking around in the public just because someone told me "i walk a bit weird" a couple years ago, but at least i know the cause of that particular trauma

I was basically alone until I was 5, never properly socialized. Had severe social anxiety and would cry for hours in daycare. Had no friends until 6, and they bullied me. Probably where my social anxiety stems. Now it’s so bad that I can’t go to stores, coffee shops, etc without intense panicking. I can’t even join group chats without feeling anxious.

Don’t know how but this matches my exact same feeling but i excessively sweat rather than feel anxious, then anxiety from my sweaty pits getting noticed goes up and both continue to spike until I’m extremely uncomfortable. it’s a never ending cycle of sweating leading to anxiety leading to more sweating and so on😔

i personally had a traumatic event when i was in pre-school, for several years i've been trying to unlearn that feeling of social anxiety but i've been doing it wrong the whole time. i have tried fighting back that feeling when i should've just let it subside. It was a very foolish part on my side and now i just learned how to deal with it after more than 10 years. Thank you so much Dr. K, i'm eternally grateful for you

I'm only now realizing that my social anxiety stems directly from my body dysmorphia/ thinking I'm ugly and will be judged. Once I sought at home treatments for BDD my confidence to interact with the world has turned around.

Having social anxiety is bad but what much worse is, when people are physically harassing you for it or them thinking it gives them a free pass to be mean and hostile towards you. Sadly there are many insecure people who are really threatened by people with social anxiety because too them we come over as snobbish and stuck up while we feel the opposite about ourselves.

This was super helpful, I'm 24 and have been active trying to get familar with terms and understand how childhood and trauma can arise after being dormant. I am super grateful we are continuing to be here for one another, at least through screen for now. Keep believing and Lets heal together!

I've watched a lot of your videos and always noticed that you suggest trying to catch certain thoughts (such as anxious thoughts), but it was never fully clear to me why it helped. The fact that being self reflective actually activates the part of your brain that can help guide you out of anxiety is so interesting. Loved the video, Doc

this format is amazing. Love these case studies. I have ADHD and its kinda hard for me to focus during these 2+ hours talks. You breaking it down to the main things is really good for me to keep the focus and learn :) thank you

This video is was so helpful. I was bullied a lot in secondary school and it definitely explains the "eyes looking at you means danger" feeling. Thank you so much for sharing this case study, I would love to hear more like this. I also really, really appreciate you actually explaining what the brain is doing in the moment of anxiety. I've always felt there is something wrong with me, and it was explained in the sense of "fight or flight" by a couple therapists but they never went into the science of it which is really what pushing the explanation that step further. Thank you again. I love your videos.

I started experiencing social anxiety by the time I was around 12-13 years old. I was a bit bullied which contributed to some of it, but also turns out I’m autistic and had no idea until a year ago.

This is so useful.. even for a less young person lol. I think the most important thing for anyone to practice is self love. It's so hard to make a change when all you do is obsess over your problems and beat yourself up.

Ive felt so understood and seen with this video, it feels like if it was written for me. I just want to be able to let myself loose in any scenario and not feel like a total failure everytime i go out with a friend. Its so hard to live with this and feel that youre missing out on so much stuff because of fear of living. Thx for the work youve done on this channel, its amazing to have creators like you who put this stuff out for free. We really need morr people like you in our world ❤.

This is genuinely the best video on (social) anxiety I have ever seen. I'm 25 and my social anxiety has gotten better over the last few months through consistent workout and meetings with my psychologist but this video really reaffirmed everything, I feel like I *really* understand it now!!

Really enjoyed this format! I've heard the "notice the emotion" advice mentioned in so many interviews but I think this is the first time I heard the neuroscience behind this technique

This is incredibly helpful. I asked my doctor about my anxiety, and specifically my social anxiety, and he said it’s just genetic sometimes. It made me feel helpless to overcome it. Thank you for making this video so I can understand and unravel my anxiety a bit better 👏🏻

Thank you so much for sharing this case study. I often got the feeling or was told that something is wrong with me due to anxiety and was told to fight it without any logical explanation for why it was wrong to feel that way. This approach seems way more reasonable and the logical explanation is way more helpful than just being told what to do. Seriously, thanks a lot for this. Would love to see more.

I think this kind of content is a great addition to the rest. Getting to see someone apply the learnings and seeing how it works - or fails to, per person, is really good.

This made SO. MUCH. SENSE. This has given me the most hope I think I've ever had struggling with my anxiety. I'm going to try this method and I just feel confident that this will help me because this is the one thing i haven't tried... observing the anxiety and letting it do its thing. It's definitely not easy, which is why I haven't done it but I truly feel hopeful. I just want to feel and function even a fraction of as normal as I used to.

i really liked this format! it was relevant and engaging and simple to follow, with suggestions at the end. it’s great! pls do more : )

I love this form of content. Highly informational, with a step by step breakdown, supported by a case study. As someone with social anxiety, this reinforced the common treatment that I always hear about of "noticing your anxiety" with a proper breakdown of how it's meant to help you. I've always kinda though to myself that just noticing it wasn't enough and that I needed to do something to stop it from occurring, but your brief explanation on how the brain works around it made it very clear. Thank you!

This video deserves more views... it helped me to understand a lot better many situations that I avoid. Maybe I don't have social anxiety to a unhealthy level, but I kind of think I do have it sometimes, in my bad days. Maybe all of us kinda have it but some have it harder than others? You have a magic way with words, you understand what's going on and explain it so well. Thank you for you hard work!