Switzerland not only shelled Liechtenstein twice, but also invaded three times by accident. 😂

Story 2: Cookie is one heck of an MVP, standing up for the enlisted men and making sure their meals were beyond satisfactory, even when the fridge died

Cookie story: never, EVER, mess with the guy who makes the food.

Story 1: Damn, I didn't know the Prince and Princess of Lichtenstein was so chill with the accidental bombing of their barn. I mean, the guy on the other end of the radio is the one at fault for this for purposely repeating back the wrong coordinates just for the sake of messing with him. Bro, you almost CAUSED a war crime for Christ's sake!

Story 1: why the hell was he punished, he did nothing wrong and HAD WITNESSES saying he did nothing wrong. How is that fair.

Historically in the military there are three positions that are given leeway to "talk back" to a superior officer. Doctor, safety officer and cook. All three are there to ensure the safety and health of everyone.

Story 3: You'd think he's be understanding of OP's wife's situation, but nope, he decided that the best response was to push buttons and TRY to get OP to fly into a rage, which is a terrible move for many reasons. That hard pie to the face was deserved

RSlash community, I am happy to announce I officially have 59 days until I am done with the military, sure I almost died multiple times but at least I had Rslash vidoes to listen to

“Uhh cookie, what is this?” “That’s my chimichanga stand”

“It’s never a war crime the first time” -Fat electrician

Story 1: I can relate!!! I was working on a popular TV show about 15 years ago and apparently the Prince of Lichtenstein was a fan. Princess Astrid reached out to organize a set visit. They didn’t end up coming, but she sent me a book about Lichtenstein as a gift (I still have it) and said that if I was ever there, I should visit them! I’m dead serious!

Gotta admire Cookie, he's a teddy bear and a badass

Lichtenstein is famously chill. When the Swiss army accidentally walked into their territory, they went in with 80 soldiers, made a friend and walked out with 81 soldiers.

1st story: OPs grandpa isn't kidding. I was Field Artillery in the U.S. Army, and if your numbers didn't match with who was giving them exactly and you fired in the wrong spot. Then, you were looking at anything from UCMJ. To a court marshall. Or even prison time.

"im sorry that the coordinates used directly hit your country sir" is all i can think about with that first story

I think a good word for Cookie in that moment would be 'apoplectic.'

Good on OP’s wife in the last story. That sounds like a pie to the face that would’ve made Moe Howard proud.

My father was chief commissary steward on an aircraft carrier during WWII. He ordered for both enlisted and officers mess. His rule was that everyone ate the same food. If it was good enough for the enlisted men it was good enough for the officers. No one with sense argues with the guy feeding you...

I guess they CAN hit the broadside of a barn.

If you listen closely while visiting the Lichtenstein Castle, you can still hear the young man's nervous shivering. 😂

Don't mess with the IT guy is for Corporate. Don't mess with the Cook is for Military.

Last story: As I always say, “If you’re gonna be a b***h, you’re gonna be treated like a b***h.”

The story about Cookie reminds me of Cookie from Atlantis the lost empire since he was also a military cook

Cycling up the alps must be a crazy experience

OP’s grandpa partook in the time honored tradition of the Swiss military accidentally attacking Liechtenstein

Don’t mess with the IT guy, right up there with don’t mess with the people who handle your food.

So OPs grandpa was involved into the Liechtenstein shelling? Damn

Second Story: Yeah, never fuck with someone a genuinely cares about their job and takes of people like that. They will have you questioning all your life choices with a single engagement, and they will know how to threaten you in ways you didn't know possible.

Ok, to be fair, being accidentally invaded or something is just another Wednesday for Lichtenstein.

On my Navy ship in the early 1980s, our supply chief was a Filipino CPO, "Chief Charley", and most of the mess cooks (also under him) were also Filipino. Those buggers liked to curry every thing. Literally put me off curry for more than twenty years. Sometimes late at night I'd come down to Supply to get a part for a radio I was working on. I'd find Chief Charley and his boys playing poker, against regs. He'd tell me, "Revell, you see nothing." I'd agree, "No problem Chief, I see nothing." 😅

Love that you're branching out into new subreddits! This was so entertaining!

I have a fun story from my grandpa. He was a Navy CB, in Korea. He and his detachment... stole a train.

Story 3 is just pure poetic justice

This branch out to other subreddits is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!

This happened when I was serving military over in South Korea, base I was stationed was next to DMZ with lots of accidents with mine and ongoing mine field issues. I remember it was like January with really below freezing temperatures and we were doing patrol around fenced off area. I had nature call and decide to take a leak off tree while other guy look out for me, when I finish doing the work and take a step I suddenly feel something under my shoes and put the flash light on to see round metal object, I call out for other guy and had to inform the HQ about the me step on the mine, long story short found out I step on the expired tuna can I was crying uncontrollably, after that people in base start calling me bomber man

Because I stupidly answered that I could type when I first got sent to Ft. Sill, Oklahoma I was sent to work in the battalion headquarters. After a few months there doing news and press reports we had a section party. A section was like a department in a civilian business. Since this was a headquarters out senior NCO was a Command Sergeant Major. The man for some reason had taken a dislike for me. Every job that almost no one liked he took great pleasure in assigning to me. Our section party was to go to the base skeet range and shoot some skeet. I shot high score for the men and my wife shot high score for the women. The Monday after the party a few of us were waiting for the coffee pot to finish making coffee and were talking. Someone asked me if I had shot skeet before. I said that was the first time I had ever shot skeet. I was asked how I did so well. I said it was easy, I just imagined every skeet disc was a Command Sergeant Major. I didn't know he was standing behind me. He didn't say anything. But I was never assigned to a shit detail again after that.

Anyone looking after the men first, is okay in my book.

Surprisingly not the first time the Swiss have accidentally conducted military action against Lichtenstein. The top comment mentioned it, but once Swiss forces accidentally invaded Lichtenstein while training and they left with an extra soldier who decided to join them. Lichtenstein is probably the most chill country on earth and it’s one of the smallest.

In my six years of service, I WISH I met a cook like Cookie

Story 2: Cookie is a common nickname for cooks

PLEASE give us more of these stories! Every one of them was awesome!

My dad was a lifer, first in the Marines, then the Navy. Once we got him a few beers in, his stories were EPIC!! I miss that old man. RIP dad. ❤

oh my god the story with the cook. my dad is a trained chef. you do not EVER fuck with a chef, unless you have a death wish!

You could still use the word furious on the 1 guy & have leftover words for Cookie! Irate & vehement come to mind.

My Uncle John fought alongside General Patton and told the family stories from his time. Unfortunately, i was too young to listen to the stories cause those stories were *NOT* kid-friendly

Whoa, what a title

Honestly I accidentally committed a war crime in a D&D game where my character gave away secret weapon specs to a dragon who had some sort of influence. I, the player, had completely forgot my characters parents not only had helped make the weapon, but that they specifically mentioned "hey, this is classified". I got my character confined to house arrest for a couple in game months, then she had to report to the local lord who had commissioned the weapon, who was already terrifying enough with his sky palace. I made sure my character mellowed out after all that. Funniest part was her love interest (an npc best described as a himbo) decided to join her on house arrest despite not being involved. He ended up being sucked into the Astral Sea during one of her moms test runs of a teleportation device, which my character was forced to do most of the grunt work for as part of her punishment. It took a while to locate him and drag him back, and again my character had to do most of the grunt work. Still a fun experience in the end for everyone at the table.

Fan theory: the Prince and Princess had been informed that it wasnt actually OP's Grandpa's fault, and that he was being scape-goated, so they werent about to be mean to him

A new subreddit! Excited to see where this goes!

Story 2: The fact rSlash goes that extra mile in retelling Reddit posts and using a sound to mimic doing a radio transmission is why I follow him. Story telling at its finest.

Theres a Reason you never fuck with the Cook, They could Serve you Fancy Feast and convince you it's Tuna Salad

Story 1: Not a war crime, an act of war. A war crime would be something like hitting a civilian target and hurting civilians, but in this case, one could argue property owned by the monarchy wouldn't count as 'civilian'. Story 2: Never mess with the IT Corps, never mess with the Engineer Corps, and certainly never mess with the guy IN CHARGE OF YOU MEALS. Story 3: This NCO sounds unfit for duty, he's actively trying to provoke people for calling out bad orders, that's how you end up with people dead because they are too worried about getting punished for calling things what they are.

Okay now I wanna hear more of this. These stories are great!

I don't know where it's from or if it's true, but this is my favorite military story: In I believe world War II, they couldn't regularly get enough eggs to feed the thousands of troops, so they used a egg powder substitute thing. A lot of the troops didn't like that. Apparently it wasn't nearly as tasty. One cook was able to get a few dozen real eggs from local farmers every now and then, but that's not nearly enough to actually feed all of the soldiers he was supposed to cook for. So instead, what he did was mix the eggs, shells and all, into the powdered egg mix. The soldiers would come across the eggshells in their food and become really happy that they were eating real eggs.

The Swiss/Lichtenstein military relationship is SO funny. You should absolutly look it up. They have a lot of storys. Like acidentally walking into the other country and returning with 81 soldiers instead of 80

Last Story: Same issues in the navy, we work long, hard hours and often in arduous conditions... Never understood why leadership fucks around their people so much. It's stuff like that is why retention and recruitment are at all time lows.

I hate it when I accidentally commit a war crime

I guess saying 132 is easier than saying 1243 or 12354 because it's shorter numbers, but it does change the context of how the Artillery position was messing up the coordinates.

In the military, a great cook is untouchable and praised higher than a commander. It's the same concept of “don't mess with the IT guy”

Story 2: An army marches on its stomach. Never, ever, ever, EVER give the rank and file soldiers less than the best possible food.

It's always funny the guy would just saying my wife driven after having a C section while callingOP wife lazy. Just saying my can do it so why can't yours? Obviously he was trying to get OP enraged. I might be wrong but I'm pretty sure it's not a good idea to drive after that. Especially if the Doctor had ordered not to do so. The guy definitely deserved that pie in the face. And of course he whined being a winp about it even after what he said before.

The one thing I learned in the army is that there are 2 people you never ever piss off. The cook or the supply sergeant are nearly god level when your hungry or ammo is running low.

Been bing listening to RSlash videos while at work for years and now I’m finally caught up 😭😭 I’ll now save months of rslash videos and will listen to creepy pasta videos in the mean time 🙏🏼 keep up the good work Dabney (sorry if I wrote your name wrong)

"My wife was driving just a few days after her c section" "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, that's awful"

I couldn't find the exact quote, but William Slim, held by many to be the best British general of the second world war, insisted that his officers ALWAYS make sure their men be fed and housed before them.

I would love to hear more stories from this sub. These are the kind of stories an old family friend used to tell and it brings back fond memories. 🙏💙

Last story: it’s only “his word against yours” if he’s still tethered to this earthly realm.

“Wear macht was hard to listen too lol”

I've got your four basic food groups. Beans, bacon, whiskey, and lard.

Don't mess with the cook is basically the military equivalent of don't mess with the IT guy

when i heard the cook was nicknamed "cookie" my mind went to four words "beans, bacon, whiskey and lard"

Story 1: Switzerland had NO involvement in WWII and certainly did not capture any German soldiers, in fact all the German Nazí leaders had accounts in Swiss banks at the time and Swiss banks were happy to oblige with their services. So that grandpa is certainly someone who can spin yarn but not a truthful one.

I’d be petty in the first story and not accept forgiveness for a problem I didn’t cause

Haha, my dad was in the mobile artillery division and he has some great stories from his time, too. They accidentally almost shot a ground unit company and also almost hit an ammunition camp, because some of the aimers didn't understand how to properly aim or because the corps leader ordered to shoot, when he sais to shoot, despite some not being done with aiming. He said, it was really demanding to drag the whole equipment everywhere on foot, but it was always a sight to be hold, when you saw the mines rain down and explode.

11:32 Oh noooo!!! That pie story gave me PTSD from when I smacked a pie into my favorite bio teachers face in college😭😭😭 I was horrified and mortified and felt so so bad😆😆 I’m so sorry Dr. Peter’s🥲🫥

Story 1: I've heard about this. There's been many occasions where the Swiss have invaded or attacked Liechtenstein by accident. Some times Swiss soldiers on patrol end up in Liechtenstein.

Story 2: My dad had a roommate who worked as a waiter in a diner. A customer ordered a steak and the friend took the it out to him. The costumer complained saying “cook this steak well done and step on it!” My dad’s friend took the steak back and conveyed the words to the cook exactly. The cook then cooked the steak well done… dropped it on the floor and stepped on it before putting it in the plate. Never. NEVER. *NEVER* fuck with the person who makes your food. *They control what goes in your plate.*

Never was a pie to the face more richly deserved. 🥧

Now that this video is here, I'd like to ask if you could possibly cover some funny military story threads. There's a gold mine of funny stories from any service you ask, and you'd be surprised just how funny a drill sergeant can be.

on god, that last dude would've been fragged if he ever was assigned to a warzone. honestly surprised no one tried stateside either

Haven't seen this topic in a very long time. Semi excited

The story with Cookie... I think that may have been my wife's relative (who was a military cook that cared very much about the guys under his watch, but he also had incidents of chasing them about with a wooden spoon or a spatula at times lol). Even if its not him... I choose to believe its him. He was a wonderful man and I know my wife and I both miss him very much. My wife is the one who inhereted the storytelling abilities. Her relative did spite the higher officers sometimes. Like one time an officer said he wanted a 6 egg omlette for breakfast for himself and several special guests. But if he did that then the troops wouldn't have any eggs (there was just enough for everyone to get approximately 1egg but if the special guests got six times that amount, then noone else would get them). He could stretch it a little with milk and water for scrambled eggs, too. Cookie explained that this would leave soldiers with only toast, butter, and beans (I think it was beans, anyway). Officer tried to insist. Cookie turned to leave the office, opened the door wide, and said loud enough for the whole hall to hear, "so you want me to cancel eggs for the boys, and only give it to you and the higher ups? You got it, Commander James." (obviously name/rank is fake for storytelling purposes). He then went onto the intercom and announced breakfast would be late because he had to wait for a supply run to arrive (which meant most would get nothing for breakfast, due to military time). Technically not untrue since he'd need to wait for more eggs to make what he'd intended to make. Anyway within twenty minutes, Commander James came running into the kitchen to cancel his breakfast order. He said basically several of the guys had been giving him "scary looks" and he overheard someone say they were going to throw him out a window if they didn't get their breakfast. The soldiers all got a reasonable breakfast, only 5 minutes late, and the special guests? Didn't even freakin arrive. lol. They were held up at a checkpoint for two more days.

I really thought the pie story would very differently, like Titus Andronicus pie.

Don't mess with the cook. You know how many ways food can kill you without ever leaving a trace? Exactly! Don't mess with the cook!

Story 1: Op's grandpa sounds like a cool dude

Second story: I love Cookie he really care about his man, and when the higher up like the base commander try force Cookie cook bad food to his man, he choose to serve his man the good food and the base commander and the rest of the officers all the bad food, that alot ball and then strips the commander about command and other cause any commander do something like that don't care about their mans at all and this why you shouldn't mess with certain people on military they made have more power then you think

I came all the way from Spotify just to leave a message on here Can you make more episodes just of military stories please! I love hearing them! Just relistened to the one about the brit com guy getting his stuff back and sticking one to the higher ups Also do you have merch? I listen to you every single day on Spotify while at work and at home. I think my Spotify replay was primarily r/ stories! (Egregious amount of minutes😅) I work alone on third shift and because the variety that you offer and coming out with videos everyday it makes it a little less alone. So I thank you. Between you, morbid, two hot takes, and a noble blood I hear your voices more than I hear my husbands😂.

You should do more of these military stories, they're really fun! Same with Tree Law!

Looks like there is another hard and fast rule: 1. Do NOT mess with the IT guy. 2. Do NOT mess with the mess cook.

6:38 probably still too embarrassing

"Accidentally did a war crime" lmao

The last story reminds me of my operations officer when I was in Guam this Ahole held up my staff stripes, then deployed me to the Philippines which was against Air Force regulations because I just got off a 12 month remote from Iceland.

With that first story, I dont blame him for needing to be reminded, the brain works in funny ways, and by the sounds of it the grandpa was virtually at maximum stress levels without breaking down, and as would happen to most people, he struggles to remember a lot of the usual details (if you do remember stuff at that level of stress, its not the usual kind, your brain is in survival mode). My guess is his brain filed that memory away almost like it was trauma, not quite repressing it, but also not making it something he recalled regularly or without a trigger.

Liechtenstein is like super chill, especially with Switzerland. It's especially the equivalent of Switzerland's little sibling. Neutral and peaceful 😌

This was the best stories I have heard in a long time.

Good morning everyone

We NEED more military stories 😂😂😂 Semper Fi 🦅 🌎 ⚓️

Who wants to bet that Cookie is Chef Rush

OMG I love this, can you please do this subreddit more often?

When I was stationed in El Paso we had a Chief Warrant Officer 4 whose go to saying was "Too many chiefs and not enough indians." He also hated me. One day I was alone in the shop office on somebodies desk, but not his, when he burst through the door, took one look at me and blurted out "What are you doing?" I blurted out just as quickly "I'm an indian. Talk to me." He couldn't say or do anything because I was right. He hated me even more.