This is wonderful to hear. I see too many people who are focused on what others are doing ("can she cook/clean" or "I'm not cooking/cleaning for any man") to the point that they become too stubborn to value themselves and their own space.

This is an excellent take. I think this problem comes from not understanding the true goal of cleaning and tidying. The goal is to make a comfortable home. The situation you are describing happens to two kinds of people. The first kind is the obsessive compulsive person. "OCD" is a term thrown about loosely these days but it is a real and debilitating condition and requires a specialist's help. This can happen to men and women. With help, these people can be great partners. The second kind of person is passive aggressive and attempting to push their partner out of the home in an indirect way. This person can also benefit from therapy but they must be forced to face their feelings. Such a person often grew up in a highly invalidating home as a child, and they do not feel that their concerns or opinions were valued. There is always some other issue at play. If the other partner wishes to salvage the marriage, they will need to push for marriage therapy with someone who understands passive aggression.

@RasheedahsWifeSchool when a man comes to the conclusion that the house is more important than him he will react in one of 3 ways grab his stuff and leave. If he really likes his life the way it is he will make sure that the mortgage is never paid off because he knows that the day after the mortgage burning he will be kicked to the curb. So he starts refinancing to remodel, add on, or maybe even a pool. The the third guy will go for a second mortgage. Because it is time the 2 of you start really enjoying life. Beginning with an RV so you can go to the grand canyon, or yellow stone, ETC, will probably take you on a trip or 2. But the RV IS in his name and paid for gradually his things like tools will be transferred to the RV "just to get them out of your way " then one day you will come home eager to show him the great deal you got on some shoes and the RV, his truck, and him are gone. At first you are not worried. He probably has mentioned a fishing trip. By the time you realize what has happened he has already crossed the Mississippi. Then you discover that he cleaned out the bank account, and you eventually find his cell phone between the mattress and springs in the guest bedroom with the battery removed. Which leaves you with the house you love sooo much and 2 mortgages that you can't afford. I've witnessed all 3

I hear what you are saying. I have no doubt that my husband appreciates all of my efforts. I am sure that her husband does enjoy coming home to good food and a clean home. (It is good food by her estimation. I am also concerned about the food of someone who sees cooking as "hell".) But it is the framing. First and foremost my home is clean and food is cooked because I deserve to live in a clean home and eat the foods I like.

I don't think it is helpful to place blame on men. Or women. It's just people. Rather than look to who we should blame, let's all try to be part of a solution. My goal with this channel is to help people to feel more confident in daily adult tasks that they may have been taught were punishments or someone else's responsibility.

@@RasheedahsWifeSchool First, I was talking to men. Second, our country is collapsing as the barbarians are flooding in and we will soon be a 3rd world country. The economy is a house of cards that will soon collapse. This means that feminism will be eliminated because women cannot easily exist on their own without men in 3rd world environments. There's no equal protection laws, no alimony, no child support or the like in any third world country in which I've lived. Just as it was 100 years ago, women will take a back seat and men will regain control. My point is that you should enjoy your opinion while you're still allowed to have it.

OK bro didn't like that.I replied to a comment on my own channel lol If you think that you are going to be better off than women in a world in which society collapses you are sorely mistaken

@@RasheedahsWifeSchool I understand that you don't like accepting the truth but your feelings don't enter into the equation. You're one of those who thinks woman can do anything men can do...? Reality is about to teach you and your fellow femini$ts a huge lesson.

Tell me more about the revenge apocalypse fantasy that you have in your head in which women suffer but somehow men (specifically you) come out as Rick Grimes. This seems to be a fantasy among men who feel disenfranchised now. If you are struggling now, what makes you think you will do well if things take a turn for the worst? I did a video on this kzfaq.info/get/bejne/esiCatBiz9CuZYU.html

I do agree with you for the most part. But I also know that many people have ingrained belief systems and patterns that were reinforced in childhood and that they never examined as an adult. Many parents inadvertently taught children that cleaning was punishment. I think that there are many people out there who have the potential to be great partners if they can work through those things. A great example is The Minimalist Mom here on KZfaq. She has been open with the unhelpful and counterintuitive things she learned as a kid and that she continues to work through as a wife and mom.