"Nobody is too busy to call or text you..." Mmm this sinks

I kept collecting flags. Now I'm chronically single and have a flag store 😂😂😂😂😂😂

"Never get too attached to anyone, because one-sided expectations can destroy you"..

If a man tells you that you’re lucky to have him, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. It’s all about them.

Intuition is the Holy Spirit 🙌

"If you ignore the red flags, embrace the heartache to come"

5 Red Flags 1. Mismatched core values 2. Makes you feel butterflies 3. Moves too quickly 4. Inconsistent behavior patterns 5. Leads with negativity So I'm not crazy and difficult to please after all. 😂😂

Oldie but goodies - 1. Know your own worth! 2.Never make someone your priority when you are only their option😮

If you feel total peace around a man you found the one. My own experience ❤

Nobody is ever too busy for anyone, golden rule of life, it applies to family members and even friends too

Some other red flags to watch out for is insecurities and possessive over you, anger problems, controlling, these can be signs of an abuser be careful ladies.

I know a guy who use to skip lunch so he could buy phone cards to call his wife. That is love.

My dad always told me and my sister.....Always listen to yoir inner voice because your first reaction is usually the correct one

I cant change a man but by god I can change myself.

Nobody is tooo busy to call or to text you or to send a VOICE NOTE!!!! Great clip 👌 👍 👏 ❤

"We often mistake fear for excitement."

The issue with narcissistic people is that they are very good actors and can be very cunning. You won't know who you have in bed with you until they have you locked by marriage or kids. I think the main important take away is that at ANY moment in you relationship (doesn't matter what stage you are at), if you feel fear, like you are walking on egg shells, can't express yourself clearly and can't seem to rely on your partner, you need to leave. If abuse of any kind is involved, that is a definite 'LEAVE'.

The first girl is a walking red flag. In her list of "dream man" she never said kind, humble, or generous but instead started with he has to be over 6ft tall. This is the problem when you go for attraction only. You know what attraction does...it gets you a baby without ever marrying the person.

I don't agree with the 'butterflies' thing being a red flag. 12 yeears after meeting my then-0husband (now deceased) I still had butterflies every time he entered the room. He was a wonderful, kind, funny, intelligent, totally amazing person.

"Never get too attached to anyone, because one-sided expectations can destroy

I think it goes deeper than this. The bottom line is this: whatever you subconsciously believe yourself to be, is who you are and those are the vibes you give off. You will then attract (and/or be attracted to) the person who needs someone like you. You both will be attracted to each other. So, if you are insecure and believe you are inferior in some way, you’ll attract the partner who needs someone like you in order to feel good about themself. If you believe you’re unsteady, or not in control somehow, you’ll attract someone who will take control (and therefore needs someone like you). This is exactly why people keep going through the same relationship patterns and issues. They’re not doing the work and fixing themselves first. You’re insecure and will be attracted to the person who showers you with the attention you crave and will overlook and make excuses about the control tendencies, the verbal hits, or whatever negative characteristics are clearly shown. You need to search yourself and clear up your subconscious baggage first before you go looking for relationship. The subconscious mind is so powerful. It’s running about 95% of your actions. There’s so much more going on…

A great partner for you is: Kind, loyal, generous, and make you feel save, he makes you his priority! You are not being difficult, he is just Not the man for you.

When they are nice to you one day, and mean and hurtful the next, and it constantly goes on.

Once upon a time I met someone who was good on paper, tall, dark, handsome, grand career... but they were a HUGE narcissist; haughty, lacking empathy, only saw others as extensions of themselves, entitled, etc. After a period of "love bombing" they went cold, were all about themselves.... then cheated. Now I'm happily married to someone who is kind, selfless, compromising and I feel safe with them. My ex was like a faberge egg; shiny, eye catching and attractive on the outside, hollow and worthless on the inside.

If people show you their red flags 🚩 show them your white flag🏳and moved on..

My first 2 questions now going forward are….”are you a Christian?” Do you drink or smoke?!” Any of those I am running away! I’ve been married for 18 years to an alcoholic/narc. I’m so done with demonic people.

Just a reminder also that you might feel butterflies and anxiety when you meet a good guy too because its something you are not used to

Love that line “ Throw back to the pond”😂

Red flags: 1.Not being responsible in that relationship. 2.Not providing anything for each other (financially). 3.Lieing character (Cheating). 4.Not being loving & caring.

I disagree about the butterflies. Butterflies just means you're nervous because there's immediate attraction. I'm sure plenty of people who've felt this have gone on to get married.

I believe it - 90 days is all it takes 😅 the real them comes out… I have been practicing it for a year now. I learn to enjoy, observe and not to be attach with the outcome. I am much happier now 😅 and will patiently waiting for the one who fits with my core values and lifestyle.

Totally my last ex. He was a narcissist. Ended horribly. Wish I knew all of this before.

Thank you! I had a date with a man a few weeks ago and I was thinking "he's great but I don't feel the butterflies". I kept going out with him and it turns out he's an amazing person and just how I need a man to be. I'm so glad I didn't need this feeling anymore ❤

If you drink you won't know how to get along with them sober or visa versa make sure you get along with them both ways or no drinking

Butterflies are normal. It doesn't mean its a red flag in a person. Its just an initial excitement. Just make sure to keep taking it slow. Excitement is ok though. She is actually talking about ANXIETY or an inner and natural alarm going off inside that feels like something is off. There is a major difference in the feeling between the two. Granted, someone with unaddressed trauma might have problems differentiating between the two. The other red flags were great advice.

When I met my boyfriend, we went out four days in a row and quite often after that and he told me he wanted us to be exclusive. That was over a year and a half ago and we’re still together. Sometimes when you meet someone you can tell that you have a connection so it’s not necessarily a bad thing to see them a lot in the beginning.

Never go back to a man who tells you that your are too much cuz you put him in his place

I LUV the way Steve educates while being humorous.

There is one red flag that was never mentioned. You might not see this on the first date, but one thing you really need to watch out for is his relationship with his family. Does he have a good relationship with his mother with his father? If his relationship was questionable with his parents, then what has he done to make himself better? A boy needs a father figure to make him a man. He also needs a mother figure to learn how to be gentle and care for a woman. If he doesn’t have that then maybe that’s an orange flag or something to watch out for.

Moves too quickly is 3 red flags by itself 😂

First red flag: He's gotta be tall. TALL?????? How does that enrich your life?

So true. A lot of men who are boys ..just want fun! and when you say no.. they don’t respect you just the same! thank you Steve and bela ❤

i love how he praises and lifts women up

Best you can do when it comes to any decision making including chosing your partner: always consult God. He knows all people because He created them. He knows their hearts and know what's the best for us. But unfortunately, one tends to make decision and only then consult God when all is already messed up.

Never trust anyone 100% which means don’t ever get attached to anyone in a way you can’t unattach yourself should you ever need to. I’ve seen so many legally attached couples end up miserable, and ones who weren’t stay together just as long and when they wanted to part ways it was as friends not with hostility

In today’s world, it would simply be best to work on SELF. Do not look for happiness and/or stability in anyone else but yourself. Do not admit anyone to your life who isnt able to add to it ( not complete it, not subtract from it and not MaKE your life something you haven’t made it already). You need to make your life what you want it to be. Once you do that, you will attract EVERYTHING . Then you can pick who to admit, but you probably will see how f’d up most people are and decide to remain single and in peace! Good luck!

THANKS FOR THOSE RED FLAGS WE SHOULD NEVER IGNORE. I WAS TOLD BY MY MOTHER, IF A MAN WERE TRULY IN LOVE WITH YOU, HE WOULD FIND SOMEWAY TO TALK TO YOU. HE WOULD MOVE MOUNTAINS TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU AND THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN STOP HIM. WISE IN BROOKSVILLE FL.

#2 is right on point. I always thought having butterflies every time I saw them after years was a good thing. Only until afterwards I realized they always gave me horrendous anxiety.

The inconsistent type of stuff is my major one I keep seeing. But she mentioned something good... Communicate it to him and speak about it first and then if he doesn't live up to his end, peace

How very very true, wish I heard all this sbout60 years ago ...my life would have been ssssooo much BETTER. I'm 80 now n feel like I'm learning life all over again ...but this time I'm getting the Right answers !!! Thank you Steve LOVEYA 💞

I firmly believe that you cannot change a person. I have found that some personal changes in yourself can encourage change in your partner, depending on what it is.

Your intuition does not work if you have CPTSD. It’s actually your enemy until you heal.

To expect that others should make me happy......doesn't work. I have to feel happy First and then others reflect that. It all starts with me😊nothing to change out there. What a freedom.

I would never take an advice from a man who been married multiple times. My parents been married for 30-40 years . This is the type of relationship I love seeing.

4;40 I once had that experience I mistook the danger for butterflies I knew something was wrong but I stayed , however I’m glad at some point I found the courage to leave before things got worse .

The irony of my mom sending me this video knowing damn well that she and her crappy decision to not protect me from abusers growing up and teaching me to seek out these exact toxic relationships is immense

Speak the truth, brother Steve! I SAW the red flags, but was trained to ignore them. "Butterflies" are kinda funny; not sure which of my organs is responding, and which ones I should listen to. Obsessive is scary. I now know what being "love bombed" means. Dodgy. Yes; too busy or EVASIVE in his answers. I don't demand an explanation. I just stop getting in contact with him. He's not a "mystery" he is being deceptive. OH number five. I went on a date with a perfectly attractive man who spent the whole time talking about who and what he hated. It was a short date. He kept demanding an explanation for WHY I didn't want a second date. *sigh* "You are too full of hate." "What the hell does THAT mean?" *click* Blocked. I want a man who loves what he does, and does what he loves. An honest man; one who understands being human. And who values love and humanity. Is CONSISTANT with what he relays to me. No "fixer uppers". A man who is actually complete in and of himself, and does not NEED me. Hateful, racist, phobic, small-minded comments turn me cold immediately and permanently. I'm learning.

Ladies, my abusive ex fit all the criteria. -Naivety was to blame. If it hits your gut with a question, don’t try to answer it, just trust yourself! I brushed up on some serious skill set and boundaries since then, and it has saved me. You can do it too! Once you see or sense the red flags, you can’t unsee them…like a flashlight beaming in your eyes.💗

This is what I am praying 🙏 for. I believe God will bless me when the time is right.

This advice is spot on! You see who they are in 90 days for sure

Been married for 5 years, now he wants to stay out all night and keep quitting his job. Says he need some me time. Can't take it anymore. I'm working 2 jobs to pay household's bills.

Thanks for the reminders, Steve! 🎉😂❤

I think sometime having Butterflies is ok.

❤❤❤❤Yes I needed this video. This video was confirmation for me that intuition is real. Those "butterflies" when you feel anxious before a date or even during or after the date. Then you get a redflag. You know for sure its not the one. I was dating an ex a couple of years ago in 2021 we tried to rekindle it. About 3 hours before the date I remember having crazy stomach pain and anxiety. When I should have felt calm, more excited, and happy. I felt this feeling of doom. Needless to say I was right we dated a few months but it ended cause I had to learn acceptance and that my intuition is 100 percent right. He was not my person. Maybe he could have been at the time we 1st dated but then later all was revealed he wouldn't be with me. Another 2 gentlemen i dated or have interests in same similar situation. However I took a different approach. I took more control, I let some friends weigh in, and also didn't ignore any redflags. I knew my person wouldn't make me feel insufficient, like I wasn't good enough, or an after thought. I realized I have to take control, speak my mind, and really listen to my intuition. If someone is direct in their approach and has a vision of you and only you. Then that's your person. If there are missteps, moving too quickly and comparisons to other people. Negative comments towards you, they curse at you, yell at you, you're arguing constantly in the beginning of dating. Leave this is a sign you are not supposed to be with them. They don't make time at all I mean not even an effort or no plans for you period. Leave. This is not the person for you. Your person will see you as their greatest investment and will clear their schedule for you. Sometimes we have to go through these situations to grasp the lesson because someone amazing is coming into our path. The universe is preparing you for greatness they want to make sure did you remember the lesson to get to the blessing. 😊

After 20 years of my mistakes, today, I still want a man. But this time, only with a man who would like to walk with him. We are each others rocks but so far I haven’t met such person. I just need someone who likes to walk with me. But not using me to advance their successes.

thank you.. u have always been one of my favorites steve..

Honesty and loyalty.

I gave up. Liars. Cheaters. Opportunists. Too much hassle. The one about making you a priority is the best as you could call. If you’re not a priority your nowhere. It doesn’t work. Never again I’d rather be without as put up with all the stress. For what.

The butterfly's thing is BS! My husband still gives me butterflies everyday. He is an amazing man in everyway!

Love you Steve. So glad judge Steve is back. You bring such Joy to my day. Youre So funny

my intuition tells me all.Thank you so much

This applies to Men and Women.

Seems like these are easily applicable to red flags for women too

Excellent advice

If I get butterflies and anxiety, I get rid of him because I know it's not normal. I actually broke up with a guy because I kept having unfounded longing feelings when under normal circumstances he is not my type.

I think each of us has our own list that is what we see in the other person when we begin our attraction however it is during the romantic phase when everybody's putting on their best foot forward after you become comfortable with someone & become emotionally attached that is when the true colors fly out on both sides. I had 2 men that were the most passionate lovers that were Attractive but not a pretty kind of attractive and they had A hint of bad boy to them cigarette smoking drinking kind of edge.... Once I was emotionally attached to them it took probably a year maybe even 9 months ish Little hints or red flags would show up..... A push, pulling my arm tightly and holding on to it, Yelling into my face, Talking down to me like I was stupid.... Things like that are the beginning of abuse... It doesn't have to be a full on slap, punch, throw down to the floor, spit in the face, choke or kick..... The thing is by the has built up a trust he has lured you in to emotional connection almost abandoned and you play the I'm sorry I forgive you it'll never happen again scenario and that can go on for the next Year or 2.... By then you've probably become pregnant and there are kids involved and now you are pretty dependent upon this person and they have twisted you up inside and around their finger in a way that has already affected yourself worth to your self.... It would be nice to say that up there's a red flag I'm out of here however emotions and sex and even a financial dependence can affect how you think and end up staying longer than You would have liked to.... Many times women will stay longer because they may be used to that type of enviolent or used to be treated that way and it in a sick way is comfortable to them even though they don't like it and don't want it to happen in a way it's what they know that was embedded in them may be from earlier years...... My brain is quite skewed because I feel My brain is quite skewed because I see men who are very passionate and who May put me on a pedestal And become jealous easily I feel that's kind of alpha male and in some odd way that's attractive to me.... It took me many years and relationships to see myself as the common denominator and I know for me areas that are not gonna change because I know me I'm not gonna put in the work to try and change my views because they're very embedded in me.... I stop dating men when I turned 40 And I've been single every since I'm 60 now and I've never been more relaxed peaceful and more confident in my life. I learned I don't need a man to complete me, I don't need a man in my life As a result I don't want to go down that road again so..... I think we have to go through our share of relationships or stay in a relationship for decades and be miserable That is each of our individual choices.... I can say from experience that living on your own people say aren't you lonely I'm like no I'm alone I'm not lonely they are different.... Stay busy and do what you enjoy and you will find great fulfillment in that❤

Great video and great advice, thank you so much🙏

Thank you for sharing this.

Honestly unless you have worked on yourself and know exactly what you want you will never find what you are looking for..

June 17th was the worst night I’ve ever had, my husband ended up abusing me and telling me to get out of HIS house. This has traumatized me for the rest of my life. Long story short, I should have never went on a sec date with him, I was blindsided, he’s a master manipulator and a narcissist. I didn’t see bc that’s how good he is, I beat myself up about it, but now I know what signs to look out for!

😂😂😂I love love LOVE THIS!!!! Red flag #2 is fire🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

My momma & the guy she seeing needs to see this! They both act like they dumb & slow! I just wish they finally start thinking when it comes to having relationships!

So clever, so useful and encouraging

My problem is regular guys feel "cheated" if they keep going on dates with you and dont get sex. They see it as a reward for good behavior.

So true, why do we forget the basics

EXCELLENT ADVICE

So true no one is too busy to spend time with you or send you a text message no one.

This so true. Pay attention to the signs and your gut feelings.

WOW. Thank you for this message

Amen to all the red flags, thank you

I needed this YEARS AGO!! Glad to have it now… My Ex and I had a 6 HOUR long first date as well which turned into a 6 YEAR long emotional abusive relationship and I’m now attempting to parallel parent with his NARCISSISTIC traits.

She’s had plenty of nice guy’s wanting her , but no , she wants the bad boy. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Thanks for sharing. I leant alot

Powerful information!

My ex's first thing to do was to keep control over me. No hanging out with friends, trying to keep me from my family, almost every single place he went i had to be there with him, unless he wanted to hangout with his friends then I had to stay home and wait around until he decided to come home. When I got tired of being controlled he saw his power was gone. He tried to turn everything bad in our relationship on me. Now he's off doing this to someone else.

Key insights: 💡 Your intuition works. Use it. 💔 "He was emotionally unavailable...I don't wanna deal with the same thing." - Recognizing emotional unavailability as a red flag in relationships is crucial to avoid repeating past mistakes. 🚩 Women who think they are magnets for bad men need to reassess their priorities and focus on finding someone who meets their essential needs for a fulfilling relationship. 🚩 Ladies, those butterflies in your stomach after a date might actually be your gut telling you that something is wrong, so listen to your intuition and run if you feel fear or anxiety. 🚩 Keeping the first several dates to about 90 minutes allows both parties to leave wanting more and looking forward to the next date. 🚩 A good partner is reliable, if he shows you otherwise and doesn't pull it together, even after you've communicated this to him, it's time to cut bait, throw him back to the pond, and move on. 💡 Paying attention to how your date phrases things and talks about certain topics can reveal important red flags about their personality and mindset. 🚩 "When that man finally gets you, he gonna treat it altogether different, man. That's just how it works."

Thank you!

Steve you doent need no expert on giving advice to women. You are the expert. You have always given good advice to women about men.

I wish Steve Harvey was the Dad I never had. He’s got it all figured out ❤

At 65, I met the sexiest man I've ever known. My ego allowed me to ignore that he lives with a girlfriend, and was just using me. Took 3 1/2 years for me to wake up...and go no contact. Hardest thing. But the best thing.