Your favorite franchise either dies a hero, or lives long enough to see itself become the villain

feels like everything I loved from my childhood is dead.

Well hey at least we’ve still got Mad Max

Thats way too pessimistic, Batman and other huge franchises are still doing amazing. I just watched the last one, and thought sure, it was a little more campy than the one with Danny Devito as the Penguin before it, but i thought Tommy Lee Jones was good. And Jim Carrey was turned up to an eleven, but thats Jim Carrey ya know? He is always that way and is always hilarious and will never not be beloved. So idk what you guys are complaining about. That franchise is still going pretty strong. That Schumacher guy directing will be nailing sequel after sequel till we are all long gone. Its Batman for chrissakes, how do u meas that up?

@@stephentoth6003 Oh..oh god I don't have the heart to tell you

Ha!

Stop giving them ideas!

Nah he died from sweating.

Yoda: "Yoda want milk."

Honestly I see them doing this.

How can you blow up if you don’t know what up even is?

Fleet of superweapons! That's the whole twist. This time there's just way more weapons.

Wrong! 10,000 superweapons! 😅

It’s like JJ heard everyone’s criticism about Starkiller base and went, “Okay, you know what? Now THEY’RE ALL DEATH STARS!!”

This comment (unfortunately) ages like wine

Even after watching Rise of Skywalker I’m still not sure

Has anyone on KZfaq added the return of the Jedi Ewok victory song to the part where everyone’s being happy-go-lucky aboard the falcon despite being reduced to 12 people?

I think The Mandalorian has answered this question. As long as they push the aesthetic of Star Wars without doing anything offensive (Luke being depressed because he was going to kill his nephew for no reason) and push HUGE amounts of fan service (Boba, Asohka, dark saber, dark troopers, Luke), people will eat it up.

@@therobotchickenMLP the idea of Luke in tlj was good, but just the idea. They did him so dirty. Yeah Mandalorian had fan service, but it is a good show nonetheless. It has good original characters, and the "Fanservice" characters are well done

Mansi Facio my go-to for the failure of Luke isn’t “He exiles himself after trying to kill Ben who was way less evil than the dad he wanted to redeem”, but how his last stand was presented. It’s gonna kill him, and he needs to fool Kylo for as long as he possibly could. So what does he do? PRESENT HIMSELF AS HOLDING THE ANAKIN SABER. That he KNEW Rey took to confront Kylo with. SUCH REDEMPTION. SO GLORIOUS.

"I feel like something wonderful has happened!"

Chris Williams well we still don’t know if he was Plagueis or not. The possibility still exists I suppose.

+Imperator Caesar Why the fuck does it matter? All he was ever going to do was sit in a chair and look ominous and torture Rey and/or Kylo just like the Emperor in the OT.

Because he's a Master of the Force. They never do much because they're either too enlightened or too much of a dick and usually too old to be on the front lines. Yoda barely did anything, the Emperor barely did anything, Mace Windu barely did anything, etc.... The high and mighty in any complex society get to pull the strings to make other people do stuff - that is why they are high and mighty - they don't do stuff themselves. And wise mentors have to just give advice otherwise they would overshadow the protagonist. To do otherwise would ruin their "mystique".

Ton Jones Let the hate flow through you. It strengthens you, gives you focus.

@Super JLK I think it's more likely that they'll retcon everything that happened in TLJ with time travel like Mike suggested.

@Super JLK I think the people that like TLJ will like Ep 9 cause it says Star Wars in the title.

I didn't care about any of the new characters before this movie, honestly. These new movies are acts of cinematic crime.

@Lukas Nero Preach, man, preach! ...shit, now Disney is gonna make a "Salt-Crystal Foxes!" movie or some shit.

If they want to subvert our expectations for the love of God please retcon Luke's death. Just whatever nonsense they have to make up at this point it doesn't really matter all logic has already gone right out the window anyway so fuck it.

better visual than the pizza roll demanding murder, like George added.

@@PyrokineticFire1 shit, which one is this? is it one of the prequel reviews? i remember laughing at that one

When they actually showed the clip of that gnome, I laughed even harder because it also looks just like The Amazing Bulk!

IT BROKE NEW GROUND

i think the reason he was confusing it was because on the ROTS dvd, theres an easter egg of yoda dancing to hip hop music. so if it was plausible to see yoda dancing then it was plausible for mike to see yoda throwing it back in a thong. a merging of the three memories

This is an unappreciated comment and you’re absolutely right. They even did the cynical dark humor of it better.

I'm doing my part!

"...would you like to know more?"

starship troopers was ok

Starship troopers had boobies tho

I laughed way harder than I should have, probably because I can relate.

Lol. You should start writing the jokes for episode 9.

Well at least their not making fun of the size of your light sabre. So unlike the movie there's a bright side.

nice profile picture, magma is an awesome band

excessive misfirings of... comedy

Gut Furnace couldnt agree more. i was thinking after watching the movie, where are we, whats happened? the answer, not much, other than rey is now powerful for whatever reason and so is kylo....the next thing is that jedi and sith are now no more?.....so actually the thing that these 2 movies have done, is destroy the foundation that its based on. so now what, its a new story? its taken 2 movies to break the link to the original trilogy? whats the point? seriously, why didnt they just make another star wars trilogy? episode 1, leave the originals and build around another time frame or the same time but different characters. im done with these films, however i totally fell for rogue one so i will watch the spinoffs, which is what i think they should have concentrated on from the start (but its disney, and like luke, they are milking us fat titty walrus freaks who lap it all up)

I really don't see the point of "let the past die" when both movies relies heavily on nostalgia and its a copy of the plots of ANH, ESB and RotJ. Actually, this trilogy wouldn't even exist without the OT. The past DOES matter and that's why you should treat it with respect, not just do whatever the fuck you want and making like the old movies never existed.

Watch Empire of Dreams or read The Secret History of Star Wars. It's clear that George had the concept of the whole story before 77. The completed script was too long, so he took 1/3 to make the original Star Wars. The destruction of the Death Star was supposed to be the ultimate climax, but he had to put that in ANH as well because he didn't know if he would be able to make the other movies. Of course, there's some plot points wich weren't established until later (like Vader's twist), but surely he had a idea of where to go, wich is more than the sequels now.

I don't think he planned it out but he was a consistent factor in it all. It sounds to me like Kathleen Kennedy doesn't care where the story goes as long as it has things for Disney to profit from.

I already sold my soul to Rich Evans.

It does, but oh my god, I burst out laughing so hard at that, it was fucking perfect!

The sad look in his eyes seemed pretty genuine.

Mike is Star Trek fan

@@stellviahohenheim can you prove it?🤨

​@@stellviahohenheimhighly doubtful. I've watched all their episodes. Never heard him mention star trek before.

I've never seen it.

I watched it once on Netflix when I was sick and through the overwhelming desire to die, I thought "This is terrible"

I watched the movie 1.5 times. I watched this review at least 20 times.

The force awakens - my reaction was much as Rich's, my hope was for a better second film. The last jedi - my brother, a huge Star Wars fan, warned me not to bother going to the cinema so I watched it at his house... somehow. What an utter horror, I think I sat in open-mouthed astonishment from the "Your momma" joke right through to the end, with a loud exclamation of "Surely this is a joke?" when Leia did her 'Mary Poppins'. Had I seen it at the Cinema I think for the first time in my life I would have demanded my money back. I've not watched it again, nor have I watched any subsequent Disney Star Wars nonsense, or even had the heart to rewatch any of the real Star Wars films since. Well done Ryan! ...I have watched this episode of HITB several times.

As you should

I enjoyed the rogue one RLM vid 1000x more than Rogue one

*guys'

Ikr, they should start releasing teasers and trailers for the Plinkett Reviews.

I'm at the point where I just can't bring myself to give a shit about Star Wars anymore. Perhaps someday while visiting a friend, I'll see the TLJ Blu-Ray sitting on their bookshelf and casually mutter that I never saw it and they'll sit me down and make me watch it.

Decades now, down here.

As Han Solo said, “that’s not how the Force works!”

I liked Marylin Manson when I was 12.

@@PeacefulJoint Well, okay then. Hat tip.

Beat me to it

Would you rather fight 1 planet sized laser or 1000 star destroyer sized lazers

A.L. otter wait a moon sized spaced station COMPLETELY covered in smaller turrets sounds way better than a planet destroyer

rechnically it was a planet of siths... so.. it was shaped like a sphere

My sphere-based expectations were totally subverted.

people love watching bitter middle-age men throwing shade at space cartoons

If you’re fan, the only good star wars content (without the original trilogy) is these 3 dudes rambling about starwars

As opposed to the actual movies, which I haven't even seen

I've watched the movie once, and this review at least 10 times

I've watched this video 4 times in the past 24 hours

Hmm would people have so much problems with her if she was white male I wonder. Also her sister was a pilot or something, they probably practiced together when they were young

How is she an ace pilot? She just knows how to handle mining equipment - because she grew up in mines.

Mayo Blaze I like her as a person, I just can't stand that cheesy line she says at the end. But that just makes me hate her character in the movie, not the movie as a whole

SAMCRO JT Fan Also this is basically the same issue with Luke in a new hope. "Hi I'm Luke, I'm a random farm boy but don't worry I can fly this rebel xwing." I know he like flew some other thing in deleted scenes but that doesn't count. My point is people just seem to be nitpicking this movie on an unbelievable level

paperbackwriter1111 She goes into battle and takes out multiple people before perfectly hitting Finn with her ship.

I clapped I clapped.

Agenda 2030. The dumbing down of entertainment.

Very cool

Listen to Jay

Disney... The drug equivalency of Heroin.

He was subverting our expectation

To be fair, I thought Yoda's had his speech pattern, because he has no talked to anyone in two decades. But the prequels said it was because Yoda could not be bothered to learn proper grammar.

I personally didn't take it like Yoda acting crazy was a complete act. He was very old, and had been isolated for a long time. He obviously got more serious when that was required of him to train Luke, but nonetheless.

@@schwarzerritter5724 meanwhile Yaddle, the female Yoda species jedi, talks like a totally normal person back then lmao, so yeah you're definitely right

Maybe Yoda was always a crazy moron just crazy powerful enough and spoke so weirdly that no one noticed.

@@rawrdino7046 Yet they're still called rebels.. Even though they should be the major power in the galaxy.

Yeah, just because they’re rebels doesn’t mean they can disobey orders Willy nilly. It’s a military organization, they tend to be pretty strict on following orders.

@@latro7752 You do realize he's been successfully leading the rebellion until that movie, right?

Myriad Works For example, at the beginning of TFA he would totally have escaped the planet if not for Kylo showing up with his OP sith sorcery literally pinning him in place.

@@RabbiHerschel You just described Western progressive ideology (because God & Christianity are dead in the West and have been usurped & supplanted by progressivism due to Man's inability to live without being bound to a higher sense of morality that instills the guilt & shame on them they fail to enact themselves)

He knew this was going to be a fucking dumpster fire lol.

They should have all said no

He wanted out in Return of the Jedi though.

Brotherhood i also heard he was always challenging directors in 4 and 5 as well. Some of the things they wanted to do regarding Han solo I guess he refused to do.

Shame he didn't bail out of Indiana Jones prior to Crystal Skull.

The simple, horrible truth is that Rian Johnson writes scripts the way a five-year-old would tell you a story. "THIS happened . . . and then THIS happened . . . . and then THIS happened . . . ." with no attempt to connect those scenes or explain WHY these things are happening. Characters in "The Last Jedi" have no development, or they act in ways that don't make sense because the Rian needs them to act that way. Scenes are set up with a serious tone and then repeatedly undercut by terrible jokes. Things that weren't possible earlier in the movie suddenly become possible when they're necessary to advance the story. These things happen when a director doesn't understand what's going on in his own film and he has a terrible lack of awareness about storytelling.

@@KneelB4Bacon I suggest you watch a movie called Papadopoulos and Sons. It is the epitome of poor storytelling and pacing. The problem with TLJ is basically nothing fucking happens. And the little that does is not interesting or of any consequence. Luke and Rey training? No. Finn and Rose find the codebreaker? No. They disable the tracker? Nope. Any developments with Snoke? Nah oh wait he dies actually but we find out nothing about him. How about Kylo and Reys relationship? No. Who are Reys parents? Nobody. What do the first order and hux do and what is their plan? Nothing much. Chase em I guess. Holdos plan? Escape pods to a nearby planet I guess. Finn closure with Phasma? No. On the salt planet. First order pins down what's left of the resistance. They finish em off? No. Do the resistance push them back?. Not really. Luke shows up. What does he do? He stalls Kylo then dies. Oh ok. A universal trait of a good story is meaningful things happen. Tension is built up and then there's an exciting payoff, of some kind ANY kind. Building something up only to say it's nothing is rubbish storytelling, its boring, frustrating and is just shit. I am baffled by anyone who defends this farce.

Spoken like a true writer or proper critic. Yes x 1,000,0000,0000,0000!

@@ThePsychicFish 100% with you, still puzzled about the fact that apparently no one was reviewing his script. It's not even amateurish, it's... I'm out of words. A stoner's fan fiction or something.

They saved that one alien cow that the casino employees will easily round up again, though, and in the end, that's what really matters.

@You tube idk man...the entire subplot was irrelevant to the narrative.

But they did get to clean up the casino and be punished for letting the animals escape

@You tube what are you talking about? They literally only showed them the resistance symbol so they wouldn’t sound the alarm and then immediately left them. When they escaped, they only ever commented about the animals, not the slaves. This is one of the reasons why people think the script is dumb

Swissyland had child slaves until 1989

And Luke tossing that lightsaber was a metaphor of Rian Johnson tossing aside Luke's character from the original trilogy and the plot points from Force Awakens.

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/mN6FZciiv9q9nZc.html

It rhymes. Also Kylo Ren's lines "Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to." Is symbolic of what Disney's trying to do to Star Wars. They're literally trying to kill it.

...Had me puking in stanzas...

They rhyme

@Gungey Entertainment noob

Gungey Entertainment ngl bro that is definitely not kek bro

@Gungey Entertainment yeah bro. Not cool man.

Gungey Entertainment Just stop bro

Joe Weigel Holy crap!! I wanna like your comment but I don’t wanna touch it cause it’s at 666!!!

I wish thete was even more muted greens

It's so dense.. every muted green has so much going on..

Earth tones, people. Everyone's wearing earth tones! Because he lives on a planet.

ScreamingTc lmao

Savage

ScreamingTc savage

LOL

Its a TRAP !!!

potawatadingdong yeah, these annoying quippy jokes will feel so weird and stale in 15-30 years.

potawatadingdong I agree completely. I still liked the movie ok. It's not perfect. Parts of it were awesome, parts of it were garbage. They should have called it "Star wars - The last side quest"... 😒

Thank god i am not the only one who is tired of that shit. Completely draws me out from the emotional/serious scenes

The humor should be used as a *coping mechanism* to make it possible to deal with almost impossible situations.

potawatadingdong agreed!

Almost 4 years later and it's still the most hysterical thing given Mike's weird but understandable fetish for the elderly.

@@denver7324 almost 6 years later and it's still the funniest thing mike has ever dementia'd into existence

I nearly commented "this isn't half in the bag. This is botw" because of the last jedi

@@denver7324 000

Just like Thor: Dumb and Dumber

Or Rogue One : "It's not boring all the time"

Wonder who got paid to say what comment?

@@viracocha smart people don't. For that matter, they don't care about what some fucktard soyboi has to say about movies or tv shows. We watch what we want to and make up our own minds. No job is as inconsequential or meaningless as a film critic

@@BrandonGavin_EDC the answer is all of them, even the Luke warm reviews are too good to be true!

Yes Disney is a very powerful organization and like ALL powerful organizations you cross it at the peril of your career. I just think ANY film critic that could not see the giant plot holes and silly ideas, or not even mention the 'Your Mamma' jokes and the ruination of the biggest character in sci fi history is not someone who's opinion I will ever read again. They obviously dont know what they are talking about If they gave it anything different than all the comments here

You know what? I couldn't agree more with that!

Mike is so spot on with how most of us probably felt as the disappointment set in as we sank into our cinema chairs cringing at the joke that TLJ was.

If that was on the Blu-ray cover I would buy it.

"Homer, I don't think women would like to get shot in the face." "Women will like what I tell them to like."

@@novatlas1945 oddly true

But it will subvert thier expectations. Nobody expects to get shot in the face with makeup.

There isn't much substance in TLJ to digest.

I’ve seen it a couple times since, and while it is the best of the trilogy (imo of course), I would only consider rewatching it with the ability to fast forward through everything but the Luke, Rey, Kylo, and Snoke scenes and the Laura Dern kamikaze, which is quite beautiful. I’ve seen this review probably 10x more than TLJ though.

You're going to make this argument? Yoda never acted like a fool in the prequels, even in the private presence of other jedi masters. He didn't crack any jokes or act like a madman or do the little Cosby shimmy Rian had him do, even in times of relative calm (i.e. when the shit wasn't hitting the fan). It was only after he put himself in exile after taking the Jedi Order's failure with Anakin Skywalker personally that he took on that mask. "generally someone who is a teacher will put on an overly serious persona at first, but when his student is 65 and he's a force ghost, yoda dont have to keep up that image any more." Greaet, good job trying to justify Rian Johnson's murder of a beloved character by pulling things out of nowhere.

Nice resorting to personal attacks instantly, shill. He pretty much started laughing about destroying the last remaining legacy of the jedi and leading Luke on to think that they were destroyed, not to mention doing that little shuffle. Then cackling and hitting Luke on the head with his stick. Yes, I watched the movie, and just like Mike, Yoda's depiction in TLJ - among many other moments in the film - made me think it was one big joke. Even when you point out Yoda's joking around in the Return of the Jedi as his 'true personality' and thus excuses him acting like a fool in TLJ, watch that scene again to understand - he made a joke because he knew he was about to die, and trying to make Luke a bit more comfortable in the awkwardness of the moment. If I came off as harsh in my first reply to you, that's on me, but if you can't argue worth a shit without resorting to insults look at yourself, you disney shill.

Cool, you never addressed any of my rebuttals. Have fun with your disney dollars. And no, I edited my comment so it was directly applied to you. If you're asking about my first reply to you, I didn't edit it - I stand by what I said that he didn't joke around like a goddamn madman like Rian had him doing in TLJ. Also yes, it was the first Jedi temples, and containing the LAST JEDI TEXTS. Which of course Rian had Rey steal, but whatever. It's easy to comprehend when you're not trying to scramble for a playground insult to insult me with rather than actually addressing my comments.

Also look who's editing his replies now. Hahaha.

LOL. That De Culture guy completely missed the point of that scene. Yes, Yoda burned the last jedi texts in front of Luke. And that was the fucking point of that scene!!!! The ways of a Jedi is beyond some "page turners". Luke never realized that. Yoda reminded him. Sure, they could've have some exposition scene, but that's not visual, or interesting.

99.1% pure!

DankWarMouse fucking junkies

Reactions BIZNATCH!

Heisenberg would be proud

@@redruml5872 First there was Pepsi Crystal...now there's Pepsi Crystal Meth!

Too true!

Bravo, A+ comment!

Totally mashes up the half in the bag lore

IM STILL WAITING FOR THE GAY WEDDDING!!!

THANKS A LOT DISNEY! -_-

This episode is a dream, Mike indicates such. The black is symbolic of the inner space of the mind, where they wax indignent on a topic that is psychically and astrally connected to them through mental tendrils. These mental tendrils are 80 to 69 hoops to the gigafloosh, and readily respitulate the bostrofin of the lengolites in the endayishasha. So technically, it doesn't matter. It is all connected. It isn't what you see, it's what you didn't. All this without even mentioning this episodes subtext. tldr The wedding is still on. Plinkett... in the ho0O0ouse.

gnomeo and juliet is a masterpiece lol

He was

Subert da expectations!

G Ren 64% drop from the previous movie. Causing an upending in how the toy industry works and orders due to record low merch sales, vastly lower dvd, vod and streaming demand. All good things right 😂

@You tuber casual star wars fans are not really true fans, and they loved the last jedi because they were on the same wavelength as Rian Johnson. You cant find one person who enjoyed seeing Luke lose a stickfight to a padawan like Rey, and then him dying at the end.

@@thomasrosendahl2783 Because it makes no logical sense with what we've seen in the movies xD Just like most of the points these people cling too.

@You tuber dude they could have made Jar Jar shit on Han‘s grave and it would have made a billion dollars just because it’s “Star Wars” That kind of baiting screwed them up in the long run. Merch sales are abysmal

Take a shot.

GGcomment pretty much every Half episode you'll hear this

(Looks into the camera)

One hundo agree. DS9 is a nice mix and Next Gen is the inverse.

"how long have we been on this rock? Two weeks? Ten years?"

Waiting for Yoda - where Luke just talks to various force ghosts waiting for Yoda to arrive

"Bad luck to kill a porg, it is."

Yoda would be the one to fart a lot, right?

"You're fond of me lightsaber, ain't yer?"

Considering how bad this film was at least there's something to look forward to:)

gotta wait for home release, it'll be awhile

I guess some time in the summer, maybe not as late as TFA.

Yeah. I can't wait to see Mr. Plinkett's review of The Last Jedi.

Sir they've gone up the ventilation shaft.... WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAAAAAAACE?!

exurb1a love your videos man

exurb1a is love. exurb1a is life.

I was watching this and got to that line and thought, I must scroll to see how far down a comment on this is- ~bam~

time stamp please. on behalf of my friend ringo.

@@JonVoid37 11:13

In the name of Star Wars, you are under arrest KK. KK: I AM THE STAR WARS

@@abyssalwolfmore like KKK

Spaceballs with KK as the villain would be a better movie than the sequels.

And the franchise

And get relegated to fins "friend" that he's embarrassed to be around.

But because she loves Fin

I know this is a year later but I have to know what you mean by this? Rose's line about saving what you love while the doors get blown open is very intentional, beautiful imagery. And how is *she* destroying the Resistance?

@Max Yes they would've, what do you mean? Finn wasn't going to stop that cannon, his skimmer was literally melting as he got closer. He was just about to kill himself needlessly. That's the whole point of Rose correcting him that she didn't stop him, she *SAVED* him.

lmao

And now the kids will probably have to work overtime with no pay because the main work force was freed...But not the kids..

Playoba D- more like, “now the kids will have to race in lieu of missing space horses!”

I hope rose gets blown up in episode 9

I mean, that's fair, but Star Wars is in a universe where slavery exists. Neither Qui-Gon nor the Jedi did anything about slavery.

Sabre Flurry Its clear she's doesn't have the magic she used to in her heyday. Least we know TFA isn't quite all JJ's doing since the film and this points to her and Rouge One was a fluke

Sabre Flurry exactly people shit on the directors but Kathleen Kennedy is making a lot of the shitty decisions. Especially with the feminist agenda push. Idc if a character is any race or gender just give us great characters with a coherent story journey throughout the trilogy.

+OptimisticMan Right. Its easy to pick on Abrams, Gilroy, and Johnson but they don't run LucasFilm nor threw the old EU away entirely when they could've preserved the best of it instead. Between the in fighting that's grown rapid with fandom across the board since 2012, the dicourse lies at her doorstep and must be held accountable

What magic? From what I understand, she started her career as Speilberg's coffee lady and only got promoted repeatedly to fulfill a lady quota.

100% Agree. We are seeing Kathleen's personal version of Star Wars.

It wont make it better. But in this case it split a fandom into people who hate it and people look down on them for “just not getting it and saying it’s super deep trust us”

This rot has been setting into the art world for close to a century now. There's that famous quote that "art should afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted". This demonstrates that many people who think of themselves as artists are really activists and activists don't make great art (or films).

clearly you never watched game of thrones!!! they kept doing that right til the end ( except for the characters that suddenly got plot armour) and everyone loved it! i think, i havent seen much fan reaction, except some people yelling in a bar, they seemed pleased...

@@simonjames1604 you are the one who didn't understand the comment. The act of subverting expectations alone doesn't make something good, it worked on GOT because they subverted in a way that was good and at least somewhat satisfactory. All TLJ did was take the safe and logical routes for the story and flip it with no adjustments whatsoever. "Oh, people are expecting Snoke to be a main presence in the trilogy? Let's just kill him off instead and not worry how we maintain conflict in the next movie. What's this, it was hinted that Rey might be a Kenobi or a Skywalker? Let's just make her a nobody and not give anything at all to replace any of the buildups previously established." There are clever ways to subvert and still have a payoff, but being anticlimactic for the sake of it just comes across as petty and lazy.

@@vitordarksider GoT spent three seasons circling the bowl what the hell are you talking about? didnt work for them in the least witness the massive critical backlash against that show.

just like real life

I read the "until" in Snoke voice. Not because I think Snoke is a Great character. It's that we are talking about TLJ therefore it's just oozing in my brain.

Balin40k i'd imagine mark hamil saying that instead of luke.

If only

Pause Future oh gosh now I wanna have Yoda electrocute a tree, and then start booty dancing around the campfire in a thong lol. I would have laughed so hard.

"What? Are you living under the rock?" "Yes, Mr.Johnson lent me his basement."

They're legendary

EvanSol919 she doesn’t look Druish

+EvanSol919-I appreciate the joke but I am legimately shocked that given the real estate in the story Rey's parents have taken up that this (not) answer was ever passed as perfectly acceptable-it is easily what is at best a dropped storyline (unless Abrams picks it back again for the sequel). Because the answer in the movie is simply not an answer, damn it. Even if Rey's parents are simply Mary and Joe Average who sold her into slavery for the money as Kylo claims (and assuming he wasn't lying to fuck with her and try to break her by saying she is an unimportant nobody whose parents didn't even want her and never loved her), common courtesy would dictate that since it has been brought up several times, their names should at least be known and Rey deserves to know just who her parents are, even if they are irredeemable deadbeat assholes. And even if they do go with this later on and it turns out Rey isn't a Skywalker of any kind (although given JJ Abrams' fan fiction tendencies, it's hard to believe he doesn't want to keep that in), it turns her from a complete Mary Sue to a textbook spitting image of a Mary Sue: a complete nobody brought up from nothing that is inexplicably awesome and perfect in everything she sets out to achieve without ever trying. I'd argue even the only thing "interesting" about her was the identity of her parents and that may be gone now, answered without ever bothering to provide an answer. It's common for JJ Abrams' associated series to pull this (again and again and again and again and no one ever learns) but this is truly outrageous. It's rancid. This is simply inexcusable and unacceptable, piss poor storytelling at its finest and it's not too much to expect better.

Fera Flauna Kylo didn't say that Rey's parents were nobody. She did... he just repeated it and expanded on it. I don't get why this is a problem for so many people. Anakin came from nothing... I think it's intetesting.

Well, the fathers brothers roommate bit from space balls is exactly what we got in this movie.

I think she has no parents because she is a God. Its the only way I can legitimately believe in her natural abilities.

Valiantsin Lapatka That's not true. I liked this movie and thought TFA was okay. I just can't take these movies at face value when there is so much surrounding them.

Well... two really good films. Return of the Jedi was just okay IMO

Before the prequels, before Disney.

Before the Empire...

Chris E FLores I disagree. The prequels have the best score plus Darth Maul

The problem wasn't merely tone. The plot itself was the problem. You can't make an *action adventure* movie with a theme of failure and the main characters just fucking up constantly. The wacky tone is required to make the constant failure not completely depressing. More competent writers and a director who actually wanted to make an action adventure movie would be required. Don't basically remake Empire Strikes Back while spitting on both action adventure stories and the nostalgia that you are milking for cash. *Actually make* a new action adventure movie that takes the story in an entirely different direction.

It’s a “we outta gas” failed Battlestar plot. There’s some ideas that could’ve worked, but the plot sucks

Ye he’s legit good it’s surprising how crap this was when his projects after slapped

Young, he was. Needed the money for college, he did.

End credits were my favorite part

@@viscountrainbows6452 Same.

In a G-string

@@viscountrainbows6452 haha same

Is there a video/picture of this I can see?

Red just look up any of Hamill’s interviews recently. He genuinely despises what was done with his character and the new trilogy. He wears his heart on his sleeve and is probably one of the most interesting people in Hollywood to listen to speak about his experience in all of this.

"No! Luke doesn't act like this? C'mon!" - Mark Hamill, first time reading the script

lol, "mark hamill agrees with me because I say so!"

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/aruUiqh1x7-yj30.html

Half in the baaaaaag

Rogue one HITB was pretty epic

lol

Dew it

Snoke turns to smoke, and begins to raise his cape, flashbacks begin, we are brought to a familiar scene, jar jar Binks, dodging laser fire and beating up Stormtroopers unarmed. He's a sith Lord, and it's time for the star wars final showdown. Jar jar reforms where snope was once torn in two, he has his red lightsaber, it's time, kylo and Rey, the fight lasts 2 hours. Doesn't matter who wins who dies or what the overall message is, tell me your idea Saved your trilogy, gg, you're welcome

Someone inform the director

spit* 😒

your face should not be so invested in star wars that it is vulnerable to slaps

Crossbone Vanguard like father, like son.

To be fair, the Younglings deserved it.

Bad movies as well

Damn, you should be a therapist, spot on

a very long time ago. Maybe in a galaxy? Far Far away

We are all Mike Stoklasa

I love this comment so much.

AT ST AT ST AT ST AT ST

HrTjernobyl so... he looks like Benicio Del Toro?

I think his stuttering was his brain having aneurysms after reading the script too... also left in the movie

HrTjernobyl a great actor given a terrible character. Everything with canto bite was shit.

You

Nice picture. Fortress is the shit.

all this dicksney trilogy ... it's a really hugiest joke

while rich gleefully laughs

The reason Mike bullies Ritch is because Ritch doesn't know the pain of being a star wars fan

@@jackwhite7955 Yes, but Mike doesn’t know the pain and oppression Rich deals with every day being a Gamer™️living in a SOCIETY.

What’s really sad is that that line will likely end up being her most famous “real life” quote

@@bencarlson4300Or she was coming up with bangers till she died, depends how you see it. Ultimately, it’s about family

I gagged on that line - such bullshit. Sure, "family" is a big part of the original trilogy, but it's basically part of every story out there. I like to think Carrie Fisher was choking on that marketing pablum herself. The philosophical heart of Star Wars is more about confronting the darkness within ourselves, with familial inheritance being a metaphor for our "original sin" and the inescapable compromise of being a living physical being with impacts on the world around us.

Jordan Green He didn't. He asked Rey 'how the hell did you find me' when she arrived

Jordan Green That's a question for J.J Abrams who made this mcgaffin just for characters to have some goal to achieve

He stated he wanted to die, so eventually they'd find him and give him a proper funeral.

DarthRevan260 you're flipping it around... JJ set stuff up and Rian raped the premise

The implication I got from The Force Awakens is that the map leads to the first Jedi temple, which is where Luke is rumored to have gone, as Han Solo says in the film. So it's not actually a map to where he for sure is, as far as the characters know, but to where he most likely is.

oh is-a da kylo ren with-a da force, shabba doo

I'd watch a Jar Jar Binks prequel if Adam Sandler played Jar Jar's father.

Adam Sandler as Darth Plagus

Starring: Adam Sandler as main badguy and . . . Adam Sandler as main badguy's sister! Sounds legit.

Adam Sandler playing Jacen and Jaina Solo would be fantastic.

I liked it because 1. Puppet Yoda 2. It was actually kinda funny compared to the rest of the movie

Everyone, especially the villains, looked like chumps. Snoke? Easily tricked and defeated. Kylo Ren? Repeatedly and ultimately made to look like a fool. Huck? Vader would have smoked that guy in every scene which he appeared. Phasma? Still unimpressive. The good guys weren't much better. Weak plans, poor execution, and the only escaped because a secret back door was literally written into the script allowing them to escape. And Luke? Why again did he die? His death was so unimpressive that they might as well have done it off screen.

THATS WHAT'S GOOD AND INTERESTING ABOUT THIS MOVIE! AND WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY ACCOMPLISH ION EMPIRE?

They don't even have to accomplish anything- in Empire, they were just surviving on the run. There just had to be some form of character development that's focused and impactful. Rey knows her parents are nobodies and has no greater understanding of the force. Kylo is still evil. Finn is the same. Poe is slightly less rash. Leia is the same. Luke is the same at the end as at the beginning. Rose is terrible. Nothing happened in the entire movie.

This movie wasn't about massive failure, it WAS a massive failure.

Here are the character arks that for some reason you can't see..... (SPOILERS) Rey - Starts the movie questioning Luke actions and why he wants the Jedi to end. Also at the same time questioning herself on why is SHE with Luke and what her place is in all of this is. She therefore decides that she wants to know the ways of the force so she can use them for the good. Through Rey’s training she starts leaning more about the force trully means and what can be done with it. Also her connection with Kylo grows when they can both can sense each other with the force. They both start understanding each other much more on who they are as people which allow Rey to really get in his shoes and at the same time feel accompined by someone. Rey also discovers who her parents and realizes that they didn’t care about her and were nobodies. This allows Rey to learn not only to let the past die and not be affected by that, but also to understand that she can be her own person, stay that way and her realizing what her past actually is allows her to learn to move on, develop and focus on her actions in the future because everything that she did in the past doesn’t matter anymore. She learns to become a more skilled Jedi, learns more of what the force means, learns what’s realy going on in Kylo Ren’s mind and learns to forget about the bad in her past and move on in order to become a better person since throughout the films, she constantly couldn’t stop questioning on who her parents. When she learns the truth, she won’t let that influence her and that turns her into a stronger character. Luke Skywalker - Stars the movie not wanting to be involved with the war between the First Order and the Ressistance since he came to island just to die and be away from the war as far as he can. But when Rey arrives and starts interacting with him, he starts discovering more of a soul within himself since he hasn’t interacted with a human in a while. Also when Luke tells the truth to Rey how he sensed darkness unlike any other in Kylo Ren which is why he tried to murder him during his training, it’s followed by Rey responding to him that maybe his actions are what caused Kylo to be the way he is now. This makes Luke question his actions during his conversation with Yoda and realizes how he just might be responsible for all those young Jedi’s that died in the burning temple. Later at the end he decides to use the force and project and image of himself to not only change and decide to distarct Kylo in order for the rebels to flee and get out since that’s technically helping them. But it’s also to test Kylo Ren on how he would respond to him showing up. Once he realizes that Kylo still wants to murder him, he taunts and fools Kylo until he senses that the rebels are safe and away. At the end he realizes he has done enough to save the rebels and dies realizing what he has done and therefore his death his peaceful and he has done enough to influence Rey and the first order including Kylo. He turns from a moody old man to a hero. Poe Dameron - Starts the movie ignoring Leia’s orders and decides to call in the bombers so they can blow up a giant sith ship. Even though he accomplishes that, all the bombers died during the process and during the film, he learns to take responsibility and act when necessary to prevent more people from dying. Kylo Ren - Starts the movie feeling humiliated since Rey beat him up with the lightsaber in TFA and Snoke taunts him with that. He also starts the movie feeling weak since Snoke is still the #1 Sith, Snoke outranks him and he still takes orders from him. During the film, we start to see that Kylo is done with being controlled by another person and he starts to make decisions that Snoke would not like such as him not shooting Leia’s room while fighting in his ship. All of this leads to the moment of him killing Snoke where he now has turned into the #1 ruler of the first order. Now that he is that, he has full control of it which is why later he stops attacking rebels and faces Luke Skywalker. Later when Kylo Ren realizes that Luke was projecting his image, he realizes that he has to start making smarter decisions and not being fooled if he is the #1 ruler of the first order. This for sure will lead into Episode IX. Snoke - Starts the movie feeling he has full control over Kylo Ren, later when Kylo Ren turns on the lightsaber and it goes through Snoke, he looks at Kylo one last time realizing that Kylo has turned more powerful than him and that he now has turned into the ultimate Sith lord. Holdo - Starts the movie wanting the rebels to like her and see her as a true ressistance leader while she had a different plan who she told no one about. Later Poe realizes what she was trying to do and the rest of the rebels start realizing that. Then when all the rebels are leaving to the new planet, she decides to stay in the ship alone which will make her feel like the rebels forgive her on her other plan since she’s staying alone in the ship in case of an emergency. Since the empire starts blasting their escape ships, with that knowledge she decides to sacrfice herself and crash into snoke ship with lightspeed so that the rest of the rebels can be safe and travel to the planet without more of them dying. Honestly the only character who was close in having a perfect ark but was ruined was Finn. It's because he starts the movie wanting to leave the rebels since he fears the first order, then later when he flying to the ship to the beam, he's sacrificing himself so others can live which is earned because in the beginning he was trying to ditch them. But later Rose saves him who is honestly the worst character in this entire movie and that ruins the ark. But despite that, mostly all major characters have an ark and THEY ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISH MAJOR THINGS.

But the waiter misheard and thought you said “surprise me” in general terms instead just how to cook the steak. “You said you wanted something different, why are you upset?”

It’s hilarious how disturbingly apt this analogy is

Pretty much the whole problem with the sequels. I'm waiting to see RoS and I expect about the same from it.

Shhhh shhhhh - after rise of Skywalker

@@totallynotalpharius2283 Look its Maz Kanata!

It was interesting to hear the guys say that because it's exactly how I felt after I got dragged to see the first new Star Wars movie. It was okay enough, a decent kids' movie with talented actors taking the piss like the original three, but it ended by saying, "Come back to see what happens next!" I came in not caring about that, and left not caring about that, and when your movie that ends on a cliffhanger can't do that for non-fans, it's a big, fat failure.

@G Ren return is a much better film, far and away a better film. And I didnt see rise because of this film. Stop necroing this videos comments with your shitty takes bro.

He kinda forgot about the Y-Wings.

@@Alknix Forgot implies he knows anything about star wars in the first place.

@@Nathreim1 Shush, don't ruin my memes.

@@Alknix do you even know what a meme is

Technically all the X-wings could have had enough proton warheads to actually screw over that dreadnought. The problem is, the Y-wings were all from the clone wars era. They are super old, and while they were absolutely amazing fighter-bombers, there were literally none left in flying condition.

You get the point of Star Wars more then the actors & directors in Star Wars, lol

It doesn't work because its a 2nd act that should have been building up a new dynamic and direction for characters that would be resolved in the climax to come and instead wasted its runtime tearing down what came before. Rian ironically in trying to get the audience to stop focusing on the past was, ultimately too focused on jettisoning the past instead of building towards the future.

@@Terminalsanity Great point there, about rejecting the past vs. embracing the future... Yeah, if they wanted to do that they probably should have set up some themes for the trilogy instead of just trading off every movie.... I get the impression that each director was trying not to step on the next director's toes to much. Like I think they tried to do what they did with the Marvel franchise, but it just doesn't work here. Marvel is grounded in it's quippy characters and surprising plot twists, with themes being a background flavor that can change from movie to movie. Star Wars is... not that lol. It needs something a little grander.

They're heroes, so killing them isn't enough. They must be horribly tortured and brainwashed until they repudiate the Republic and embrace the First Order. Like Winston Smith in 1984. I mean, there's the plot of The Rise of Skywalker right there.

I bet the falcon with lando, chewie c3po and r2 dies..

If they kill R2D2 they'll lose billions in marketing revenue and lose out on a solo R2D2 movie where he blows up the burning legion or whatever.

12 people isn't a resistance, they are just space terrorists now.

Umm... yeah?

Un-broken and victorious man I'm scared to see what happens when goku directs star wars and takes it even further beyond

10/10 Would turn a blind eye to my apprentice walking the dark path again to reread this comment

I wouldn't say that. No Jar Jar and it's not a CGI-crap fest.

Darth Mawrak Lol "No Jar Jar".... should we tell him? 😂

The fact that the rebellion/resistance-fleet consists mainly of bombers (at least in this movie) still confuses me. What's the point? Did they know about a First Order base that needed to be blown up? Nothing makes sense.

Utter nonsense.

Either way I'm glad Star Wars is out of George's hands. He's a total hack

You're placing too much value on the happy ending of a typical hero story structure. This isn't a kids cartoon. And it's metaphysical philosophy on Star Wars fan inclusiveness through character dialogue proves it. Everyone is romanticizing the lore of jedi and sith, good and evil when really it's all up to the world view of the characters. It's hypocrisy. "They blow you up today, you blow them up tomorrow." The bad people on the deathstar may have been like Finn. Is he still bad? Or is he good? It's all in his hands and what path he chooses. There was even good in Darth Vader and he was second to the emporer. What makes you think the storm troopers deserve death and the rebels dont? They both kill and are killed. Perspective matters.

@@RhoadsLocke woah man DEEEP

and a little round headed man does not have to understand the medium he is filming or have any actual 'talent' as a writer to take one of the biggest jobs in movie history get it. {he can also be an arrogant little tosser who believes his talent WAY more than it is}

Ron Wylie bro I beg you watch Brick and even knives out. Like this man ruined this pissbaby franchise turned around and made a hit in the next two years

@@ogfridgeman5546 RJ is definitely a good director. He just doesn't like Star Wars and botched it because he was listening to KatKen, who also doesn't like Star Wars. Every great has a dud or two in their history. It's just a shame Johnson had to bomb so hard with his. I mean, come on, bro. This movie will go down in history as a terrible mistake. Even if you like it, which is fine, you have to admit it killed the trilogy.

@@arandompasserby7940 you are my new hero.

@@daggettus the trilogy is a stillbirth, what really killed it is the lack of commitment and vision from daddy disney

Exactly. If a person wanted to tell the entire fanbase to piss off AND tear the franchise down to the ground in one giant eff you, then I doubt anyone could any better than tlj.

@@jackasschicken5922 exactly, literally stuck my middle finger up at the screen when the credits rolled, I felt like someone had been taking the piss out of me the whole film.

It’s why it’s my least favorite movie of all time. The prettiest, best-sounding train wreck of ALL TIME.

It didn't because Disney CAN'T make good movies anymore.

We WERE being Trolled but by Johnson and Kennedy, just wait and see what happens to their movie careers and I for one cant wait