I LEFT HIM, I FINALLY DID !!! HOORAY 👏👏👏🎉🎉🎉 and yes, this channel hase give me the strength and when it gets though, i watch one of those videos again and i feel a little stronger again. Thanks u so so much!!!!

Emotional abuse is very sneaky. You don't even realize it is happening to you until you crash mentally or the abuse becomes very scary.

In a regular relationship both parties act like adults, the feelings of both parties matter, both will admit when they are wrong, and there will be no verbal or physical abuse. Abuse is NOT normal and never justifiable.

What drives me crazy is when people say, "well it takes two to tango". Somehow implying that I am responsible for bringing about abusive behavior. There's one to add to the proverb list!

Normal, stable relationships, even if they don't work out, are not exhausting, draining, and soul crushing like a relationship with a narcissist.

Narcissistic relationship problems are far more extreme and far more damaging to your health.

Somehow, i dont "care " anymore about people who dont get it, good for them. I just cant loose my time any longer trying to explain or looking for validation. Life is to short for that. It feels lonely but here i am holding hands with you all (from all over the world). It is a universal public health issue, Good to be able to talk about it and to listen to.. thank you Dr. RAMANI for the knowledge and this space.

You never feel completely safe enough to just be yourself. Even on "good" days, you watch what you say and how you say it.

My wife was in a toxic relationship for fifteen years before I met her. She was so trauma bonded to her ex that it was difficult for her to leave the relationship. Thank you so much for helping me to understand why she had a hard time leaving that relationship. Your work is indispensable to the understanding of these relationships. You are a gift. Thank you again.

A narcissistic relationship is on a whole different level of conflict. There can never be any resolution to these conflicts. It’s pure hell.

Normal relationship: trusting your partner to make the right choices for both of you.

How buoyant did I feel in my next relationship when she apologised, admitted she was wrong and thanked me for talking it through so she could see it from another perspective.

Every single manipulation tactic all but implies the use of the lying tactic and the gaslighting tactic. I actually dislike it a little calling out gaslighting as a manipulation tactic as it's actually an effect. All manipulation tactics will contribute to it by nature of what manipulation is. Some tactics however certainly take the gaslighting effect to a whole different level. Blatant lies that are so bad they insult your intelligence is one of them. That kind of shit will make you feel like you are in the twilight zone after a while. Here are some of the reasons they do this: To test their control. To feel superior and/or entertainment. This proves to themselves how much control they have over you. In the end, you will give up and you will not leave (trauma bonded). In the process of getting to the giving up stage, you will go through some pretty nasty emotional states ending in massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to swallow all of that. Cognitive dissonance is a trauma defense mechanism where you essentially lie to yourself in various ways so that you can bring back some semblance of equilibrium to the insanity you find yourself unable to escape from. As part of the ‘backing you into an emotional corner’ tactic. This is a tactic where you are manipulated into being emotionally unstable inevitably leading to you losing your shit. This gives the narcissist a big dopamine burst, they feel powerful and superior having so deftly controlled you and manipulated into this emotional state. To finish the little game they play, they make sure to point out how unhinged and unstable you are and suggest that perhaps you need help or medication. Of course, you will internalize all that shame and guilt and the million other raging emotions they have created and swallow all that essentially allowing them to scapegoat their blame and accountability onto you. Bring on some more cognitive dissonance and gaslighting effects. To condition you to expect less respect, and ultimately put up with more abuse. You will tire of the inevitable circular argument trying to convince the narcissist of the blatantly obvious lie and eventually find yourself challenging them less and less as you subconsciously accept the fact that if you do it will just make your life and emotional state more miserable and you will be denied the satisfaction of any kind of ‘win’ even if it is easy to disprove. This is part of the domination process and makes sure all the power in the relationship ends up with them by the end. To turn your mind to mush as the gaslighting effect takes hold more and more over time. This makes you even easier to control. Many times while easy to disprove it requires some kind of concession of some obvious truth that the narcissist can just doggedly refuse to agree with or remember (‘the intentional forgetting’ tactic and the ‘feigned confusion or ignorance’ tactics are often employed for this). So, in fact, it is not so easy to prove when the narcissist refuses to correctly remember what happened 10 min ago or accept sound logic or reasoning. You will just turn blue in the face trying. Of course, in some cases it is indisputable. A phone log or something. My experience is when this kind of stuff happens it wasn’t their intention typically, although sometimes it was. But in these scenarios, you will typically get some sort of angry ‘invalidating’ tactic, with some good old ‘manufactured rage’ and ‘intimidation’ tactics to ‘put you on the defensive’ and get you more susceptible to further manipulation. Maybe something like: “Get over yourself already” followed up by some ‘blame-shifting’ tactics with some good old ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ tactics, like “Why the hell are you spying on my phone records anyway? What kind of relationship is this? I don’t have any privacy? I don’t know if I can do this anymore! You have major jealousy issues! You need help!” You will walk away as the loser either way. There are resistance tactics that can be used but this is a very difficult tactic to deal with and it is one of their favorites. I won’t get into the counter-tactics here though. The only way to really win in a relationship with a narcissist is to leave them and go no contact. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com,,

Only someone who had lived through the insanity of a relationship with a Narcissistic Relationship can fully understand how detrimental and insidious it truly is. I was stuck for 18 years, lost everything... my family, money, friends, freedom, health and sanity. I lost the very essence of my being, I became a person I did not even recognize..... I could tell you all the "craziest" stories of what I lived. Narcissist is the new "in word", people use it FAR too loosely. 5 Years free now, rebuilt my life the best I could for myself and my daughters, but there is still residual trauma in all of us. Thank you Dr. Ramani for spreading awareness of dealing with a person who has "true" Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

You have given me a superpower Dr Ramani. When the smear campaign started I stayed strong and I finally got to see who my real friends were. Without your videos I’d never have been able to understand what was happening to me. Thank you for everything you gorgeous human! ❤️❤️

“Narcissistic relationships are a slow bleeding away of you...” SO TRUE

Key- Not regular relationships problem!!! The constant invalidation, lies, gas lighting, anxiety…constantly filing issues under “communication problems”. Slow bleeding away. This is on point!!! Some therapists doesn’t offer support.

The "all relationships are hard" rhetoric kept me in my abusive relationship for way longer than I wanted to stay. Gaslighting myself... sigh...

I can’t imagine how life is for people who grew up in a safe environment without a toxic family member

Some of what you said almost made me cry. When you said that the gaslighting, manipulation and emotional abuse can get filed under communication problems. When you said it's a slow death of losing yourself and self-confidence.. That's what I've just been going through. We would argue and she would start shouting, not letting me speak. This eventually turned into me being accused of harping on the need for proper communication. Deflection, projection, gaslighting, bullying.. And in the end, I thought I might be unfair, too critical, too sensitive, or maybe that I was the narcissist myself. All the accusations that were thrown at me. I found some information on narcissism. Ironically I was studying up since she had accused me of being one. I kept the possibility in my mind that she did not want to have mature, respectful communication. I went in expecting that she will try to trigger me into blowing up. This did end up being her strategy. I did not react and I could see the confusion on her face. Wouldn't anyone be happy to say something difficult and have their partner react calmly and maturely? Everything was happening so predictably.. She got even more intense. I continued finding my confidence and not letting her anger me into acting irrationally. Well.. She left me a few days ago. A month ago, she seemed so concerned that we were fighting too often. I found my inner peace, stopped arguing, stopped yelling back. We stopped fighting. Well, I stopped fighting. It's what she said she wanted but was obviously the last thing she wanted. For me to be in control of myself again. Even in the last few days, sometimes I wonder if I f#^%ed up. I feel I am a pretty confident, strong-minded person. And even so, the self-doubt caused by this abuse is incredibly powerful. I'm not sure what state I would be in right now without this channel. Thank you for having made all of these videos and sharing them with all of us. Probably countless people you have helped out there.