The Truth about "Use it or Lose it" | What to do When She Never Wants Sex

The Truth about "Use it or Lose it" | What to do When She Never Wants Sex | AMA

Рет қаралды 520,308

Күн бұрын

In today’s special June AMA episode, Dr. Malik dives into some of the most frequently asked questions she receives from her dedicated audience. We discuss the complexities of mismatched sexual desire in long-term relationships and how scheduling intimate time, alleviating stress, and understanding responsive desire can help improve connection. For those facing post-void dribbling, Dr. Malik explores its common causes and effective solutions. We also touch on the sensitive topic of vaginal odor, debunking the myths about special soaps and emphasizing the natural self-cleaning ability of the vagina. Plus, we address urinary frequency concerns, the effects of not having sex on erectile function, and even dive into a fetish-related question.
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▶️Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
01:04 Sexless Marriage Issue
06:08 Post Voiding Dribble
09:22 Vaginal Odor and Cleaning
11:41 Urinary Frequency
17:26 Erectile Dysfunction Misconception
19:44 Anal Play Fetish
Watch the video till the end and let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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Rena Malik, MD is a urologist and pelvic surgeon on youtube to educate people about all things urology including erectile dysfunction, how to increase testosterone, problems with sex, premature ejaculation, urinary leakage, or incontinence, overactive bladder, urinary tract infections, prostate issues and more.
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▶️Check out these playlists:
• A Urologist explains what is edging and is it SAFE: • A Urologist explains w...
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▶️DISCLAIMER: This video is purely educational and does not constitute medical advice. The content of this video is my personal opinion and not that of my employer(s). Use of this information is at your own risk. Rena Malik, M.D. will not assume any liability for any direct or indirect losses or damages that may result from the use of the information contained in this video including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness, or death.
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Пікірлер: 1 000

@sumdude4281 24 күн бұрын

My issue, and I see this with myself and all my married friends. Our wives don't want to have sex, clearly they don't want us to have girlfriends and go out cheating on them BUT they also don't want us to masturbate. That. That is the killer. If we masturbate it's "gross", it's "disrespectful." "Porn is sexual exploitation!" On and on an on. I'll be honest. If you won't cook for me and you refuse to let me cook for myself eventually I'm going out for pizza. Lastly, I find it irritating that I have to do things in a marriage I'm not in the "mood for" ALL THE TIME, I'm asking for 5-10 mins of your time to be present and give me quality time. Women demand quality time from us ALL THE TIME and when we sit down on the couch to watch a movie with you, you spend all that time on your phone. No, there is a deeper issue here and we are glossing over, nay excusing it, with "women have to be in the mood". Women have to learn to be present and get off their flipping phones.

@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry 23 күн бұрын

What's she doing on the phone?

@mslice09 23 күн бұрын

They have to be reprogrammed 😮

@jamesfloyd1864 23 күн бұрын

It's too late.

@evoathlete 23 күн бұрын

What u said….

@foljs5858 23 күн бұрын

@@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry doomscrolling

@Blgtn43 22 күн бұрын

A sexless marriage is nothing more than having a roommate.

@nathanhale6477 21 күн бұрын

Roommates are better. They come with no expectation of anything more.

@patrickday4206 21 күн бұрын

Yeah

@chrismoore58 20 күн бұрын

But if you move out on a roommate, she doesn't get your kids and half your stuff.

@Blgtn43 20 күн бұрын

@@chrismoore58 Correction 99.9% of your stuff.

@charlesdraghi2673 19 күн бұрын

Yup! I call her my roommate, and she tells everyone that I’m her husband.

@donhathaway3234 22 күн бұрын

Coming up on 47 years of marriage and three years ago my wife informed me that she didn’t want sex anymore. After talking with her gal friends (mostly widows) she says all women reach that stage. We have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. I’m not interested in losing my family over this so I accept it. I still love and want her but, her denials are like a dagger through the heart. She won’t talk to her doctor about anything that she can do to help. It just sucks!

@joeroyward6457 22 күн бұрын

55 years of marriage for me and 14 years since I last saw it getting really frustrating though a lot of by 7475-year-old females of lost her husband who need a little help and I keep asking me for it. I keep praying and saying no, but my wife sure doesn’t make it easy.

@norpfuseman1485 21 күн бұрын

Hire an escort

@johnboehmer6683 21 күн бұрын

If the relationship is at least in reasonable shape, I just can't understand why a woman who doesn't want sex for whatever other reason can't just at least go through the motions for the sake of her husband (or for that matter, in those rare instances, a husband for his wife). Stress, or "not in the mood", are ridiculous excuses to withhold. Every woman comes into marriage knowing that sex is a high priority with men, how do you all not see this as an obligation? Men do all kinds of superficial things that are unenjoyable, even detestable to please their wives, how she can't provide for this rudimentary need in return is unthinkable to me. She doesn't even have to do a thing, just lay there, be her beautiful self, and be loved. The door she is opening wide to cheating in doing so is really concerning. Sacrifice from both is crucial to a good marriage. God says in his word, do not deny the sexual desires of one another. Does a man have to have a completely clean slate (have done little to no wrong in the recent past) in order for him to be worthy of sex? This is another weak excuse commonly used. Forgiveness is also crucial in marriage. I'm not saying anything that's not totally obvious here, why is this so difficult?

@DrewskiOne 21 күн бұрын

@@joeroyward6457if you made it 40 years with sex in your marriage, consider yourself lucky. Most women tap out LONG before that.

@marlonlo9661 21 күн бұрын

Either there's something wrong with her or with monogamy.

@nathanhale6477 21 күн бұрын

After wasting an entire life married to someone like this, my advice would be, if you are still young enough to start over, leave her NOW! Do not negotiate. Do not waste one more minute on her. Dump her and run as far and as fast as you can away from her. A woman like this will never change. Her next move will be to sucker you into wasting more time waiting for her to change.

@billsoderholm3125 17 күн бұрын

Nathan Hale you are dead on. I spent nearly 20 years sexless. I am ashamed I did this. I am not being dramatic in saying that it nearly destroyed me. I should have left right away when she stopped having sex. My advice is to get out NOW! I found someone wonderful in general and she never says no. We have been together ten years.

@DistortedReality-ow9dy 13 күн бұрын

I completely disagree with you what you do is you stay with that woman through thick and thin stand by her side and you stand by your family side end of story coward

@nathanhale6477 13 күн бұрын

@billsoderholm3125 I wish I had done this decades ago. Glad you cut your losses and got out.

@Wolfpak765 24 күн бұрын

The men doing house work to get the wife into the mood is utter BS. Never works.

@marcuskelly5768 23 күн бұрын

They just give you the Q&A when they want to avoid the subject. Date for life, don't marry, just get a contract. They will love sex for ever.

@johnurban7333 23 күн бұрын

They will just point out what you missed and how you did it wrong

@rastus666 23 күн бұрын

The honey do list just gets longer.

@musicman7297 23 күн бұрын

Men being simps. 😂

@JJM2015 23 күн бұрын

Help serve your wife and she will serve you.

@Ffocus57 24 күн бұрын

If you don’t want to have sex ever again, get married

@rastus666 23 күн бұрын

Especially the fun stuff.

@strawberryme08 23 күн бұрын

Why would you believe or spread that lie? Married people have more sex over all compared to single. I’ve been married 21 years it hasn’t been an issue aside the regular ups and downs of having babies and some fatigue etc but my husband has never complained 🤷‍♀️

@southernman5839 23 күн бұрын

@@strawberryme08 Believe not every woman is like you. I love my wife . She’s good at most things . She’s so negative about sex . I’m to old . Not again. It’s the constant negativity that turns me off. I don’t ask anymore. I don’t initiate anymore. You would think she would wonder why? She doesn’t care. It’s been a couple of years . She has no desire.

@randybarker2140 23 күн бұрын

Been married over 40yrs and my wife never says no to me. She might not enjoy it all the time but she still enjoys making me happy.

@CHEECHMUN 23 күн бұрын

@@strawberryme08 He most likely has a goomade'

@robdegrilla2618 24 күн бұрын

My wife didn’t want sex, I didn’t want to waste my time engaging in her toxic, narcissistic, entitled, controlling spitefulness aka conversation. We stopped doing both. One of us is doing better than ever

@rayrwyr 23 күн бұрын

Your wife did not lose interest in s3x. She lost interest in s3x with you. When a woman feels too secure, safe and stable in a relationship, they lose interest in s3x because for women anxiety, insecurity, and challenge are required to maintain her s3xual attraction for her man.

@robdegrilla2618 23 күн бұрын

@@rayrwyr ah well. She’s not feeling secure and stable in her relationship now but I’m still not interested. It’s simply not worth investing in all that crazy and chaos. I feel calm and content when she’s not around

@efletch1768 21 күн бұрын

@@rayrwyrreally?! So what goes for us?! When there are issues we bring up and women don’t want to be accountable for any issues?! Why is it that men have to deal with insecurity but a women can’t? Should t they also learn how to handle life matters? We all learn to grow up and move on… then learn to rekindle what makes a couple interest vs having to put burden on each other? Women today claim they want equality but don’t want to put any effort into the spark of the relationship.

@G-Dawg761 21 күн бұрын

The only things women love unconditionally are their children and their pets! They only love or keep us around if we’re able to provide something they need or want. If that ends so does the relationship. It’s been that way since the dawn of time. Men fall in love and need that woman that first caught his eye, where as a woman will fall for what’s best for HER. A woman can be flipping burgers at McDonald’s and a man, even with a good job and salary, can fall head over heels, the opposite is NEVER true. I’ve been married for 25 years and love my wife dearly, and we are still very affectionate with one another. However I still know the reality of nature and accept it. If my wife quit her job and said she wants to stay home now and take care of things and have dinner waiting for me every day after work, then I would figure out how to still pay bills, and stay married and still getting it. Reverse the situation and role, we would be divorced by Christmas!! It is what it is!!

@garymanis6305 20 күн бұрын

@@rayrwyr My wife is extremely controlling. If she finds out that our kids or I like something, she will use that something as a weapon to control us. She makes us hate anything we like. Now, she is accusing me of withholding affection and intimacy. She doesn't want sex. She only enjoyed sex when we were dating. The joy of sex for her ended when we got married. It became "her wifely duty". When we were dating, I was having to work for it. Taking her out and spending hours pretending to be someone I'm not and pretending to enjoy doing things with her that I don't really care for. When she was finally satisfied that I had earned some intimacy, then it was like an hour of work getting her there. I would be fine doing all of that as her husband, but she says her time is too important to her and if I can't get her there in 15 minutes, she has better things to do. Getting her there in 15 minutes when she isn't interested in going there is not going to happen. We have had sex twice in the past 10 years.

@user-zu5tv7zt6v 23 күн бұрын

In some states before no fault divorce, withholding sex used be a valid cause for divorce. Look it up: Alienation of Affection. It was a real thing back when.

@JMPCARREPAIRS 21 күн бұрын

Should bring that back

@efletch1768 21 күн бұрын

It still is and yes women going into this new feminist mentality has really killed a lot of marriages! Women felt like they hold men to be accountable but if opportunity comes their way? Don’t be surprised they would take the bite of the apple and then defend themselves like it’s ok?

@PaulHAMCO 12 күн бұрын

Yep.

@FazeParticles 5 күн бұрын

Make it law again.

@integralsun 25 күн бұрын

My ex had ‘headaches’ so often during our two decades of marriage that I was concerned she had brain cancer. Twenty five years since divorce and she’s still around and apparently not suffering from headaches at all.

@rayrwyr 23 күн бұрын

Your wife did not lose interest in s3x. She lost interest in s3x with you. When a woman feels too secure, safe and stable in a relationship, they lose interest in s3x because anxiety, insecurity, and challenge are required to maintain her s3xual attraction.

@worldtravel101 21 күн бұрын

@@rayrwyri was trying to explain that to a simp coworker i have. Might as well just talked to the floor 😂😂😂😂

@scottjgray83 21 күн бұрын

@@rayrwyr hence, "treat em mean keep em keen". They seem to like guys I would call unstable.

@ChessClockCentral 17 күн бұрын

Anytime she asks you for money or wants you to pay for anything, tell her you have a headache.

@NURREDIN 24 күн бұрын

If the woman in your life won't change,you've got to change the woman in your life.

@13enji 24 күн бұрын

Phenomenal quote, but what if that woman is the best person you encounter during your life?

@mslice09 23 күн бұрын

You can change as well 😮

@NURREDIN 23 күн бұрын

@@mslice09 And if I'm not "getting any" just WHAT am I supposed to change?

@NURREDIN 23 күн бұрын

@@13enji If she's the best she's not holding back. There are 3.5 BILLION women on the planet. There's at least 100 MILLION who will do what you want her to do.

@mslice09 23 күн бұрын

@@NURREDIN Change her mind.

@user-qw3sc3ry4r 22 күн бұрын

I gave up a long time ago, I’m not begging for it anymore. I’ve climbed up on it before and it’s not worth the effort to please someone who says to me “do what you have to do and get off me” just terrible !!!!!

@michaelpalmer1580 20 күн бұрын

At least she let's you get in. Some guys don't even get that.

@mikebond6328 19 күн бұрын

Why stay married?

@intelligenthorsemanshipwit1330 16 күн бұрын

I’m so sorry to hear this and I respect you for your decision to prioritise your dignity. Your wife’s insensitivity to your feelings, in (allegedly) saying what you quote, (so crass and mean!) really makes me grateful for the fact my wife (age 55) although she still loves sex, would never say something like that to me even if she lost all interest in sex.

@magoolew5131 10 күн бұрын

@@mikebond6328 Alimony and child support.

@ryanhouse6558 21 күн бұрын

I was married 24 years with 2 kids. We had sex 4-6 times a year. She cheated on me and divorced me. She got remarried within 6 months. I took a year to process what happened. No sex no dating. Got my own closure. For the past 6 months I’ve been dating a lady I went to high school with and my life is so much better. Now I actually feel loved back. This is just a very broad overview of what happened but I will say that I now see that I wasn’t asking for too much in my marriage. I was just asking the wrong person. Friends told me I would get through the divorce and it would get better. It was a rough year but they were so right. I now wish she would have divorced me sooner. Hope this helps someone.

@Mathais_93 20 күн бұрын

Thanks man, I needed this. Wife divorced me just last week

@jtb-southphilly 19 күн бұрын

The details of story are exactly what I experienced except that I stayed single. Going on 12 years alone and no regrets. Lonely at times, yes but drama and toxicity in my life, zero 👍

@eeazyy7748 21 күн бұрын

Women see sex as a transaction that can be used to bring you closer, get you to buy or do something for her or control you, so when you get married, you have absolutely nothing to bargain with. What's yours is hers, and what's hers is hers.

@intelligenthorsemanshipwit1330 16 күн бұрын

This is a generalisation and is not even nearly always true.

@Farbar1955 22 күн бұрын

My wife and I are an older couple. She has gone through menopause and one of the results is that she no longer can lubricate herself and sex became extremely uncomfortable for her. Using artificial lubricants hasn't helped as well as checking with doctors on the situation. I'm sad about this in that I'm still interested in sex at my age but there's not much I can do. I love her and she does love me and we do fool around with her helping me out but it doesn't happen often. My point is that sometimes the decreased desire for sex is not always emotional or something to do with arousal but is sometimes the stuff of life and how our bodies change. I wish there could be more but I'm happy for us to be together and really happy that she puts up with me at all!! LOL

@billwest5330 19 күн бұрын

I’m in the same boat…. Just watch porn

@stephantower689 23 күн бұрын

I have always had a straight forward understanding with my wife that we only have sex on the days we sleep or eat. 20 years later and we both really happy and healthy having followed that policy!

@kevingallen1678 21 күн бұрын

I wish young men would read these comments before they get married

@moore9279 19 күн бұрын

I'm 24 I'm reading. Damn it's weakening and concerning at the same time. Because you can't predict this before marriage 🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️

@MorganDavis-ei5lr 18 күн бұрын

@@moore9279 DON'T GET MARRIED FOR SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you're soul mates sex will come naturally.

@nathanhale6477 17 күн бұрын

@moore9279 Therin lies the problem. Most women will outright lie about this before marriage to sucker a guy in. It's like playing Russian Roulette with every other one a live round. In the infamous words of Dirty Harry, "Do you feel lucky"?

@thegorthan9072 4 күн бұрын

@@moore9279choose wisely my friend. You will pay with your blood if you don’t 😂😂😂😂😂. It’s a laughing emoji, but i am dead serious.

@dirkjackson8939 2 күн бұрын

@@moore9279 Take my advice..... DONT DO IT EVER! I was D1 athlete for my university, had more girl options than I deserved. I thought I picked the very best one and wouldnt you know, I am now in the same boat as all these other guys. My father, brother, and all my married friends warned me not to do it, but I didnt listen because I thought I picked the one that was different than the rest. Marriage ruins everything from lack of respect to lack of sex. There is no reason to try and explain why, it just happens. Young men, stay single and live your best life. Porn will get the poison out, and if you do want to hook up, just get on a dating app once in a while. Go on with your dreams and goals, travel the world. Eventually settle down and get a dog. Dont worry about your marrried friends. They will soon be divorced and will want to hang out with you again.

@PlebiteBaller 26 күн бұрын

No sex = no relationship. I would be out the door as soon as this became a thing in a relationship. Don't stay. You will go insane...

@ozvikings 24 күн бұрын

Exactly, found myself a loving filipina who is on the same page in bedroom and so many other things 😊

@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry 23 күн бұрын

Too late.

@mslice09 23 күн бұрын

Financial relationship ..not an emotional one 😮

@musicman7297 23 күн бұрын

Single is better than putting up with nonsense. 😊

@musicman7297 23 күн бұрын

@@ozvikingsI spent 9 months in the Philippines 82,83 while in the Seabees. Best time in my life.

@siclucealucks 26 күн бұрын

It's a problem when she is being contradictory. She doesn't want to have sex spontaneously, but she also doesn't want to schedule sex because it's not spontaneous. Then you watch porn, and she is frustrated because you don't give her affection. The spiral goes down...

@BlaqRaq 25 күн бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@zipper_1 24 күн бұрын

women 🤷

@MassiveVictories 24 күн бұрын

It's called "withholding". It's actually a narcissistic behavior. It's a real thing people do to control.

@nikmorales8624 23 күн бұрын

Leave her, shes likely getting it from someone else at that point

@stevemiller6500 22 күн бұрын

This is why Prostitution is called the oldest profession.

@toddnimmo3344 24 күн бұрын

The old saying goes, " when you say I do, then she says I don't!"

@hedamariel7777 26 күн бұрын

How many times a week does the plumber, pool boy or milkman come to the house? It’s important to find that out…

@enoughofthis 26 күн бұрын

Or her " girlfriend"

@siclucealucks 26 күн бұрын

Well then the next service staff will be female and I will be there when they do the service to be sure everything is done correctly ;) Of course i will take some extra care that they will feel comfortable.

@legz64 26 күн бұрын

Many Overtime at work

@leggyegg2890 26 күн бұрын

Porn has rotted your brain

@KingKong- 25 күн бұрын

Office worker cannot be ruled out😂😂😂😂😂😂

@pudgeballroundpants1941 23 күн бұрын

This is a selfish woman problem, not a mismatched sex drive problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@lazyturtle668 20 күн бұрын

You got that right!

@ozzycortes 26 күн бұрын

Most Men don’t know what they’re signing up for when it comes to marriage.

@georgekimball2792 25 күн бұрын

They're figuring it out. MGTOW is growing.

@ericu1196 25 күн бұрын

Look at your wife's mother and her marriage...that's a huge indicator of what's going to happen. When young your girl will use sex to keep you around... When you are attached, they flip the switch

@learningisfun2108 25 күн бұрын

Yup, it is a lot of work. Lots of selflessness, empathy, patience, forgiveness, etc. But it is worth it. However, I’d never stay in a sexless marriage. Not what I signed up for. Breach of contract.

@mslice09 23 күн бұрын

They know what they signed up for ..but not with a different person.... people change as time goes by. and that's the game changer.😮

@ebelsilva5691 22 күн бұрын

As a comedian, once said Getting married to get free sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts

@joeordinary209 26 күн бұрын

I struggled for a decade with sex starvation with my ex wife, we wer20+ years together. My new lady since 2011, think the longest pause is about a week....it's like day and night. I don't know the reason, think its simple, some genuinely like it more than others, choose a good match for You. That is obviously easier said than done, but if they don't like it, they dont.....

@ppumpkin3282 26 күн бұрын

If your wife doesn't want sex. Just say "o.k. I'm going out". Then leave, come back real late and say nothing.

@cliffchampion5501 26 күн бұрын

Lmbo 😂

@ozzycortes 26 күн бұрын

Exactly! If he’s not getting any sex from the wife. He has no other choice but to go out and get it somewhere else. The Women that get mad at me for saying this are the ones that are causing this to happen.

@Getloose360 26 күн бұрын

@@ozzycortesyou're the missing the point. She was never attracted to their partner to begin with....😂 It was a resource grab period.

@openranks4519 26 күн бұрын

Uh no…Las Vegas, Amsterdam, and Bangkok ❗️

@Baba_Yaga_123 25 күн бұрын

Cheating is the key

@artyfhartie2269 22 күн бұрын

I lost mine once but a group of women found it and gave it back to me.

@PghGameFix 26 күн бұрын

The reality is.... if it's not a mutual thing... the relationship has come to an end. I know several women who have gotten to this point, and they are miserable, and their husband is miserable. They are friends, so I talk to them from the "Guys" point of view. And to be honest, when it's just mental work to stay in that situation (Friction) the solution is simple... go your own way.

@randyriegel8553 25 күн бұрын

Wedding cake ruins a woman's sex drive. Dating it was a least once a day... then got married. She never wants it anymore. My best friend who signed as witness at my wedding got divorced after I got married. My wife knows she's my best friend and I've always hung out with her. I hang out with her at her house few times a month. Problem solved and my wife just thinks we hang out and have beers (which we do that too).

@batsukamuro 25 күн бұрын

Bait and switch. She got the big party, status, security, and access to resources so no more need to put on a show.

@TakkieMidas 25 күн бұрын

@@batsukamuro but you are putting in the same effort, right?

@jomorrow1 24 күн бұрын

This cannot be blamed 100 on her though. Most husbands will not act the same either. If we would act like we did before marriage (when pursuing the woman) she would be more likely to have sex. It’s such a common problem in most marriages

@heybra8941 24 күн бұрын

@@jomorrow1not really, what comes first...chicken or the egg

@thisdyingsoul76 23 күн бұрын

@jomorrow1 in my first marriage, my effort decreased because the sex decreased. The man shouldn't always need to initiate and when the answer every time you do is always NO and she never tries to initiate, eventually yoy stop trying . If she doesn't pick up the ball after it's in her court, then she's the problem.

@jwalkerC21 25 күн бұрын

This format is a nice change to do every so often.

@jeanr8359 23 күн бұрын

My new husband was married for ten years…. His first marriage had its difficulties and he married because of an unintended pregnancy…. But I do believe a nearly sexless marriage was the final straw…. He would say sex three time for two kids…. The last year of marriage no sex…. He was done. Warned her a year before asking for divorce that things needed to change…. And she was shocked when he divorced her. There was little connection other than kids…. He ended up with kids 80% of the time as was much happier.

@environmentalcanadian2338 26 күн бұрын

Hi Rena. Thank you so much for another great video. You are always a wealth of really useful information. I love you and I love your channel. You're the best. Love always, Cal.

@AaronBanner-go6se 26 күн бұрын

The way she had the biggest smile when she said use it or loose it tells me a lot lol

@LenHealsU 24 күн бұрын

Thank you as always Dr. Rina for all your amazingly informative and professional videos, and sharing all this useful information with all of us! :) :) :)

@JustSayin1983 26 күн бұрын

I understand all the ‘transitions’ a woman goes thru during the lifecycle of a marriage but NONE OF THEM are a reasonable excuse for a sexless marriage. Unless the wife INITIATES steps to address and improve that part of the marriage, it will be construed as a ploy to get more sex! If the husband encourages couples counseling with a sex therapist, it will be thrown in his face as a scrupulous means to an end. Simply put, the constant rejection is heart-hardening. It’s almost as if men are made to believe there was never a genuine sexual attraction or that we must ‘work extra hard’ in order for her to become interested at all. If there was an ‘issue’ with me that effected the quality of her experience, I’d never hear the end of it and fully expected to work on improving/mitigating that ‘issue’ for the good of the relationship. For men, it’s a trap - if we speak on it, we’re considered thirsty, desperate or insensitive. If we decide to leave, we’ll take the blame and lose everything! It’s no wonder that younger men are avoiding marriage altogether.

@Golgi-Gyges 21 күн бұрын

I think it's a power play. Women have understood since early adulthood the power of their parts. Underlying, there may be resentment, anger, jealousy, ungrounded or not.

@lazyturtle668 20 күн бұрын

You got that right!

@KelvinTroyJohnson 24 күн бұрын

Responsive desire. She didn’t want to at first, but she needed to be warmed up. This is good Intel for men! Thank you.

@juliochingaling5824 25 күн бұрын

Dr Malik is amazing.

@peakerect 21 күн бұрын

We appreciate your thoughtful and compassionate approach to addressing these important topics. Your insights on mismatched sexual desire are particularly helpful; understanding responsive desire and the value of scheduling intimate time can make a big difference in long-term relationships. The segment on post-void dribbling was informative, and your practical advice is sure to help many. We also loved how you debunked myths about vaginal odor-so important to highlight the natural self-cleaning ability of the vagina. Overall, this episode was packed with valuable information, and your clear, empathetic communication style really shines through. Looking forward to more episodes like this! With PeakErect you can manage Erectile Dysfunction 👀😉

@joeluis98 25 күн бұрын

I haven’t had sex with my wife since 1999. A friend suggested a Japanese sex doll. I love my wife, and think she is beautiful, so as ordered a doll that resembles everything about my wife. I received it about 5 yrs ago, and she sits in the closet, as she too refuses to have sex with me.

@M78356 24 күн бұрын

That is really funny.

@TheEhawk83 23 күн бұрын

Your funny

@johnnyxmusic 22 күн бұрын

You’re gonna have to take her out on some dates.

@rixxroxxk1620 22 күн бұрын

😂

@pd4252 21 күн бұрын

That is AWESOME !!

@robertbell6494 26 күн бұрын

If you really hate sex -get married -sex goes away after the honeymoon stage. Peace and grace

@tonemack2981 26 күн бұрын

Something like that, you kinda right, I guess. I mean long after my honeymoon my wife and I didn't have that problem we were still going at it like we were in heat. But for me the older I get the less I think of, and the less I desire sex. I mean I can go a damn month and some without considering sex. I don't know if that's a good thing.

@alb12345672 26 күн бұрын

I heard marriage is unlimited sex. That is why guys get heart attacks, from too much sex, they can't keep up.

@celesteredding1550 26 күн бұрын

@@tonemack2981👏🏾👏🏾your statement is much more truthful/realistic & not sarcastic

@Pault3788 26 күн бұрын

What are my options for E.D. if I'm unable to use the E.D. drugs. I'm in my early sixties and a virgin

@rsgabrys---- 26 күн бұрын

--------------‐------------ married folks always have sex .....just not w/spouse ....that's not really true or really that false ....

@richardpaddington4216 25 күн бұрын

Dear Dr Malik. you are so imaginative I could almost believe you.

@michaelgregory6883 26 күн бұрын

I am never disappointed. Thank you Doctor Malik.😊

@Nordic_Sky 25 күн бұрын

"Compromise means two people both not getting what they want." Orion Taraban.

@dougw3436 26 күн бұрын

Q.1) Bro, you've been trapped. She's done with you. Getting ready to cash you in! Pay Pay Pay

@abnmp7865 23 күн бұрын

If your wife is never in the mood then you must also not be in the mood. The hugs, kisses etc stops. No signs of affection, no talking unless necessary etc. Become a roommate. In a few weeks she will either notice it and say something or not (most likely relieved). If the later your marriage is over. If she mentions it then just say she’s not in mood so you are taking steps to not bother her. It might be a phase or a deeper issue. If she’s open to talk then it might be a phase or mad at you. But the key point is not to have sex with her if she wants it right then. Even if you talked it out and worked out your problems don’t!!. Do not say you’re tired etc. Tell her you are not in the mood and refuse it. This will establish she cannot use sex as a weapon. Later you can have sex and see if things changes. If she doesn’t care then it’s over, plain and simple. The old saying reversed “If she wanted to, she would!”. Oh I have to have sex whenever he wants??? No, but you have to want it sometimes. If you cared you would want it.

@Tomcat82 23 күн бұрын

Seems passive aggressive.

@abnmp7865 23 күн бұрын

@@Tomcat82 it is. If you tried to talk etc and nothing is working then this will give you the answer you need.

@Aceman597 22 күн бұрын

Or Go to gym . Time to trade in.

@no_guarantees 21 күн бұрын

Too complicated

@jeanr8359 23 күн бұрын

Relatively newly married woman…. And the sex has lessened since marriage. I have never denied my husband and in fact I believe I start intimacy more often. It is just interesting that a lifelong commitment changes the dynamics…. We were having sex nearly daily before marriage and now 2-5 times per week. It is still good but…. I do miss it a bit. All it takes is being close to him to get me in the mood.

@G-Dawg761 21 күн бұрын

You are a good woman and a good wife. He is a lucky man. As a man myself, keep doing what you’re doing and he will move heaven and earth for you if he’s a good moral man.

@scooterwoodley195 20 күн бұрын

🦄

@elinino5275 22 күн бұрын

It happened to me. Sexless "marriage " for 10 years. Now I ha e severe ED and hormone imbalance 😢😢

@cptmariner 22 күн бұрын

I was in a sexless marriage I will tell you for a guy that is very torturous situation. Needless to say we divorced I lost everything but I am living my best life right now not married. And I will never marry again ever.

@moore9279 19 күн бұрын

Ahh this is worrying. As a 24 year old man. I just don't have any words. Because there's no way of telling this lady, girl would start behaving like this in the future 😔. How wtf can this be preventable

@ajayprakashkelotra 26 күн бұрын

Very loving thanks for a lovely subject.❤

@RaverX88 26 күн бұрын

Thank u for all the knowledge Dr , God bless u.

@jimj2683 26 күн бұрын

Even the most toxic relationships can have great sex. That just proves that there is no point in doing all the chores and the wife will be horny. Sexual compatibility is super important.

@Steveh216 24 күн бұрын

But why is that? Seems so contradictory

@mslice09 23 күн бұрын

Most divorce is from sexless marriages.😮

@hanscombe72 25 күн бұрын

Stopped it in 2003. Nothing you can do about it. Quite happily told me about a drunken night on a business trip with a colleague in 2017. Of course, I almost high fived her. Im not an attractive guy so will never get anything on the side. Makes me really sad sometimes.

@richard9827 24 күн бұрын

Go on holiday to Indonesia or the Philippines. Get Tinder Gold. You will do just fine.

@joethecomputerguy1 23 күн бұрын

No sex, no marriage. Divorce is the way to get more action in your life. Hope you have a good prenup too cause divorce will cost you.

@vaeshethblade931 21 күн бұрын

Worst advice. Ever.

@joethecomputerguy1 21 күн бұрын

@@vaeshethblade931 looks like you spelled the word best wrong.

@shelleyinthecity 21 күн бұрын

@@vaeshethblade931 Why is that bad advice?

@seasonstudios 23 күн бұрын

For the first question in these sexless cases, it seems that the woman acted like the man (wanting sex when the sudden urge hit) when the relationship began but after a while they stop and even act like they don't want to do it at all. Are they lying now or were they lying then? They often become two different people and men say to themselves, "I was duped because this isn't the person that I married !!" The old joke creeps up that says, "Guys, if you don't want to have sex, just get married."

@hannahsharma5108 18 күн бұрын

Men lie early in relationships with how much time and consideration they pay the object of their affection. Once you trap her you begin ignoring her, belittling her, clipping her wings until she’s tapped out and fed up. A woman’s desire has more to do with how she feels seen in your eyes.

@seasonstudios 8 күн бұрын

@@hannahsharma5108 I cannot deny that some of this is true for some men/women/couples but there's a certain percentage of people who will always face this dilemma... but what is being talked about here is why this no sex pattern creeps up within an otherwise normal, everyday marriage where the couple does everything right being married but the sex. Men can be this way too however this issue is honing in on the women because the percentages are much, much higher on their side.

@fezzypepper8525 21 күн бұрын

There's a quick fix for when a woman chronically refuses to be intimate with her husband. It's called divorce. It worked for me!

@MrCox2121 26 күн бұрын

Wife withholding? Only 2 solutions. 1. Get a Divorce 2. Find a side piece

@strawberrykatnz 26 күн бұрын

3. Go to therapy/couples counselling and figure out what her blockers are whether hormonal or emotional and work through that together.

@kentspeigner8738 26 күн бұрын

@@strawberrykatnz A leopard does not change his/her spots! Still true 1000 years later.

@gsoros123 26 күн бұрын

Wrong. Get a chick first!

@jayronn.christian 26 күн бұрын

prevention is better than cure. don't get married 😁

@Getloose360 26 күн бұрын

@@strawberrykatnzNO

@Zenneth23 26 күн бұрын

Man: Honey are you in mood today? Woman: Nope! Man: Ok i ma go buy some...milk

@rc2466rc 26 күн бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@timpipe 24 күн бұрын

Why buy a cow when milk is so cheap?

@numerous_use 22 күн бұрын

No wonder divorce rates are 40-50%. I don't think people want to get married purely for sex obviously, but marriage without sex (or seldom) just sounds sad...

@hankd18 20 күн бұрын

It is

@jaychapman2045 20 күн бұрын

The answer is far more simple than people like this will ever admit. Women in long term relationships desire sex and pleasing their husband for a different reason than excitement as it was in the beginning. The new reason is appreciation. When a woman respects and appreciates her husband she will want to secure the bond and keep a sexual connection. The problem in modern life is that women often do not respect or appreciate the men in their life

@ClownLakeFC 25 күн бұрын

Long time listener first time commenting. Dr. Malik pls speak to the impact of prescription meds on bladder issues. I was gas lighted by doctors and specialists for years for having bladder issues usually ppl twice my age would have, the gotta go gotta go and waking up 2 to 3 time a night to urinate as well having constant pressure and discomfort in the lower abdomen area halfway between the navel and penis (bladder?). I was constantly told it's just my age (early 40s) and I just have to get used to it now. However, I knew deep down that this wasn't the whole story. You see, some days I would forget to take my BP meds (norvasc 5mg) which I'd begun around 40. I realized eventually that those days I had less pressure in my bladder and was able to evacuate the bladder more easily and pee longer more like I remembered peeing used to feel like 10 years ago etc. I felt a bit better generally in all related symptoms on those days. However, my doctors never made this connection despite me mentioning it a few times in passing. Well about 4 years into this life of constant peeing every hour or two at work and everytime id see a bathroom I'd go just in case etc , if we were going out for lunch I had to pee before getting into he car, then pee again before leaving the restaurant, generally my ankles were chronically swollen by now too with major petechiae, I was so used to it I didn't realize it was abnormal. I cudnt tie my laces around my ankles anymore, I'd wear my shoes open laced. One day By accident my doctor finally noticed my ankles routine one visit, his face changed color, he gave me a slew of kidney function tests and long story short ended up changing my BP meds immediately to candesarten 16mg. Within days my bladder issues began reversing, in a few weeks my ankles were back to normal after years, the discoloration vanished in a month, and guess what, all my bladder issues disappeared!! I sleep like a baby thru the night again. I have no discomfort in my bladder. I pee again like I did at 10 years old, long and complete. And I feel key years of my life were spent in misery and no specialist even thought to take pity on me and try changing meds... I wonder how many so called elders (50+) are in similar misery due to medications and just accept it as part of aging when it may well simply be side effects all along! There has to be a conversation about this in the medical community especially by urologists.

@jjpp1993 5 күн бұрын

you finally nailed the sound!

@siclucealucks 26 күн бұрын

Last question - its fun thats all you need to know :) I think because its a taboo and its very intimate too.

@U2WB 23 күн бұрын

Regarding "post-void dribble": We had a rhyme when I was a kid that went, "You can shake, jiggle, or dance, but the last drop will go in your pants." LOL Excellent video, as usual, Dr. Malik.

@marcuslang6153 23 күн бұрын

There are very loving, very clever women, who are able keep that fire burning constantly. You really need to find one of these👍🏼 And it helps the relationship, NOT to get married.

@BuckRogers2000 21 күн бұрын

It is best to endure celibacy in solitude. My situation seems to familiarity bred contempt for me. I am independent and free, yet grateful for our experiences together.

@randi5465 24 күн бұрын

I have been on estrogen for over a decade. That has made the urethral bulb for ejaculation expand and not contract as well. That makes post dribble a problem. I use the "milk" technique you describe. Awesome fix.

@GaneshPerumal-qt1ly 26 күн бұрын

Never is not the right word- but i do want an upgrade from a monthly pass to atleast a week😊

@jcalpha2717 21 күн бұрын

Once a month ??? Lucky bastard.

@ka509 23 күн бұрын

"Responsive desire"= I'm now showing my true self, I don't like sex but lied to you early on because I'm selfish and want what I want regardless of the damage to others

@thomasbrooksjr380 22 күн бұрын

There is no such thing as someone not liking sex thats abnormal. Has to be medical or mental reasons behind it if thats the case.

@chinchilla415 20 күн бұрын

It's the old bait and switch. Many such cases. It's a female trick as old as time.

@gigiberardi4375 25 күн бұрын

Dear Dr Malik. I have a question for your next podcast please. I have had Radiotherapy for Prostate cancer - finished 3 weeks ago. I’m also on Hormone Therapy. I have put weight on, have night sweats etc. I’m finding it difficult to deal with the side effects and my Oncologist wants me to remain on the Therapy for 2 years. My questions are will my testosterone ever be back to normal, will my prostate work again and once the therapy stops, will my testosterone replenish itself or should I take supplements. I hope that these questions are of value to others. Ps. I’m in my late 59’s and I had stage T3 cancer. I’m in uk. Thank you so much in anticipation. Thank you as always for your amazing, informative content.

@spalding1968 22 күн бұрын

If trying to rouse desire is like doing homework , the battle is lost .

@justinm1150 26 күн бұрын

well that was my 7 yr marriage along with also not wanting to be touched and being put down all the time and being told im worthless now divorced

@atb154 26 күн бұрын

Good for you divorcing her

@thomasdonner2495 22 күн бұрын

The “SCHEDULING SEX!?” No way does that work for me at all! I believe women at an older age, do not care about sex. They will say they need to be “RELAXED & WILLING”, And when men try to accommodate that - Here comes another excuse!

@TomMcDonaldatYahooDotCom 24 күн бұрын

Great video, good questions and short and to the point !! Where do we submit questions for AMA ?

@Edward-zw9ld 25 күн бұрын

Great video

@stevenschwartz-vf2lg 25 күн бұрын

Regarding your caller with post urinary “dribble”, I’ve found that “ milking” the penis a couple of times and then using a little toilet paper seems to help most of the time. I hope this helps him. Because it is a real inconvenience.

@mslice09 23 күн бұрын

Usually Cialis clears up the problem.😮

@rastus666 23 күн бұрын

Longer hoses take longer to drain.

@ClintonAllenAnderson 22 күн бұрын

Sit to pee. It's better for a man's penile /urinary health. It's quieter and cleaner too

@Trapper4265 26 күн бұрын

This question reminds me of the scene in the 1st version of the 1991 movie "City Slickers." Billy Crystal's character says," A woman needs a reason to have sex. A man just needs a place to have sex." Haha! I assume there is some truth in that statement. 😊

@DrAJ_LatinAmerica 26 күн бұрын

A LOT of truth to that statement

@CC-jl7jz 25 күн бұрын

They only need a reason with their husbands. When they are single there are very few restrictions.

@chinchilla415 20 күн бұрын

@@CC-jl7jzalso applies to men that they "date" vs just hook up with. Her laubdry list is way, way longer for men who have long term potential, compared to just hook ups.

@CC-jl7jz 20 күн бұрын

@chinchilla415 women do the bait and switch after marriage. No restrictions before but the rule book manifesto comes out after. When I was younger I was with plenty of women who were down for anything but marriage changes things even if there are no children involved.

@DrAJ_LatinAmerica 20 күн бұрын

@@CC-jl7jz not if you sign a legal contract before signing the marriage license. This is basically a pre-nup but also includes non-financial items. Spells out BOTH sides duty's, responsibilities and obligations. Clearly state what you will demand and so will she.

@jeffluehrs4400 18 күн бұрын

Love your channel!!!

@rayeverett8501 21 күн бұрын

My wife is amazing. She is amazing because she communicates fully. If she has something to say, she talks to me, and I do the same for her. We share all household tasks. If a woman has to do the housework, look after the children, do the shopping, cooking etc, she’s going to be tired. She then has to tidy her husbands mess, feed him, see him playing on his phone. He then wonders why he’s getting no action. It’s because she sees him as a child to be looked after. What woman would want sex with that? Communication is key, thoughtfulness is paramount. Try to put yourself in your partners shoes, and you might be on to a winner

@tonyrome224 25 күн бұрын

I was in two relationships that apply here. One I was with an old friend. She hit on me in a club. Come to find out she was in a no love marriage. The second, we had the greatest sex. But down the road not so much. I decided to make the first mood several times. Things were perfect. So sometimes we have to initiate sex. It's not the end of the world guys. Just make the first move and you're back on track.

@Bognerman14 25 күн бұрын

I do feel lucky that my partner and I still have plenty of physical intimacy after 6 years. We still can't keep hands of each other. We both have very high libidos and recognize that huge importance of sex in a relationship. Maybe I'm odd but as the guy I've always done most of the cleaning and stuff like that around the home. Partly because I'm a clean freak. I really enjoy cooking as well. Cooked for her tonight. My partner and I are always connecting, being passionate and affectionate. I love that about us. We also never turn the other down. We both agree that emotional and physical connections are key, always. I love that we are always touching, holding hands, etc. Find that person that gives you that heat and spark. It's out there. Life is too short otherwise. We don't believe in date night. One thing that's important to us as well is staying in great shape. We also like to train at the gym together. It heats things up.

@nickpersenaire4443 25 күн бұрын

Yeah that will change. Just you wait.

@anotherfreediver3639 24 күн бұрын

Frankly, it's a lottery, and there's no way of knowing whether you have a winning ticket beforehand.

@Steveh216 24 күн бұрын

You’re one of the luckiest men alive!

@henkdunckley9249 24 күн бұрын

Enjoy your honeymoon 😂

@MapleTreeatdawn 23 күн бұрын

Six years??? It will eventually change. Ever hear of the seven year itch? Not saying it will be seven exactly….. might be 17 years.

@handsome_Xpress 24 күн бұрын

Love Rena🙌🏽🙌🏽 she teaches really well and detailed👌🏽

@JSMaruca 19 күн бұрын

Oh, I’mma do it, whether or not SHE does it with me or not!😂 I’m not worried about losin’ anything, thank you very much. If she isn’t interested, that’s her loss!

@denningmp37 26 күн бұрын

My hand never says no

@taskforce169black6 24 күн бұрын

😂

@ronaldbrown5745 23 күн бұрын

Her hand also never says no!

@reynaldotorres6733 23 күн бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@rongerardo1193 22 күн бұрын

Rosy Palm and her five friends will never turn you down! 😂

@aw8388 11 күн бұрын

Three times today. Married and 63

@NondoPondo 26 күн бұрын

I think that sexual behavior can be linked to relationship satisfaction. Get couples counseling. Get to the root of the problem. If it's stress related counselling may reduce the stress and thus increase sexual desire.

@siclucealucks 26 күн бұрын

well you make it sound easy. Be sure its not that easy. Maybe if you have a lot of money you simply hire nannies.

@tonyrome224 25 күн бұрын

Looking lovely Dr Malik 🌹

@hughbo52 21 күн бұрын

Being a stay at home mom is unbelievably straining. It is so draining. She needs time to unwind. Watch the kids a give her a night off. I chose one job to do around the house and I've done it for the last 35 years and that is changing the sheets on the bed and keeping them fresh, it feels so good. Wash the old sheets, fold and put them away. This the easiest job but so rewarding for her.

@cryptojihadi265 21 күн бұрын

Lmfao. I thought for sure you were being sarcastic with your first line, but Holy shit, you were serious! 😂

@JR-gp2zk 26 күн бұрын

Most married men live through an almost decades long "dry spell" Now, my wife wants it more than I do. What the doctor is saying is spot on. Guys use sex as stress relief, but women get turned on when they are stress free. When your kids are pre-teen up until they are young adults, will be the most stressful time in your lives. Add menopause to that, and you can see why she might not be in the mood. Guys, make time for your wife, be romantic without insisting it leads to sex, try to reduce stress, and work together on a schedule to fool around. Be realistic, once a day is crazy talk, but once a week is great. You will get through it and will have a load of fun when you are empty nesters.

@jimj2683 26 күн бұрын

That is just sad. Why can't the wife just outsource the sex? Why does she have to abuse the husband by never having sex with him, but not letting him get it other places.

@strawberrykatnz 26 күн бұрын

@@jimj2683 It's not abuse to say no to sex. Abuse in a sexual way is when it's non-consensual on either side and forcing it is abuse. It's about improving communication and mutually deciding what's an agreed compromise for both if the balance isn't right. Maybe she can help him but not have it the other way around, masterbate, there are lots of options without going to a third party and breaking that trust.

@odin5188 26 күн бұрын

@@strawberrykatnz To put it bluntly, sex is the main reason men deal with women. This bait and switch women do is frankly wrong. The man cannot pick and choose when he has to fulfil his husband's duties. Sex is the wife's duty. If she doesn't want to do it, don't complain if he goes elsewhere. This nonsense needs to stop

@atb154 26 күн бұрын

@@strawberrykatnz depriving your spouse of sex is abuse. It is grounds for divorce in my book.

@Adrian-zu6tm 26 күн бұрын

@@odin5188 or just don't get married, nowadays there's literally zero incentive for men to get married

@oneoddsockk 26 күн бұрын

Your eyebrows didn't flicker one bit on the last question 😂👏

@k9under 26 күн бұрын

How many people went straight to the last question ?

@AH-bm4ts 26 күн бұрын

The acidity and caffeine in coffee etc can cause overactive bladder.

@TazMartin 22 күн бұрын

Thank you for true Dr. Facts

@CS_247 22 күн бұрын

I am 53, and my wife (same age) went through menopause a couple years ago. She used to be a rabbit in the sack, and it suddenly turned off. The main "reason" was she went dry, and intercourse actually hurts, which makes her fear it, and then thst kills the desire. We tried lube, all sorts of different ones, but they all seem to give her urinary tract infections, which of course kills the deaire even more. It was tough for a while, until we worked out that as long as we leave out the intercourse part, we still have a sex life, and there is more to our relationship than a vagina around me. I tried it elsewhere a couple times, but the guilt was not good for me, and i found it difficult to just find something to f*ck without getting emotionally involved. And i am certainly not interested in paying for it.. We get old. Our bodies change. If this happened at 25, then it would certainly be an issue, but i have ridden the 'coaster many times. I can drive my old Porsche as often as i like tho, no guilt involved there....😊 All good. If she is worth being with, you will figure a way to make wveryone happy.

@rossb4802 20 күн бұрын

Coconut oil is the greatest thing in the world. Actually seems to help minimize infections. Absorbs quickly, several other pluses you will discover quickly. Just the solid coconut oil works, melts quickly at body temperatures.

@MrSickpuppy10 25 күн бұрын

Married for forty years. 20 of those sexless and I thought that was our sexlife done until a snippy comment one day about sex. Sex is back, regular and very passionate. I’m very happy because we were always great mates in every other aspect.

@johanvanstaden2408 24 күн бұрын

PLEASE explain more about that “snippy comment”??

@rallye81 24 күн бұрын

What was the comment?

@MrSickpuppy10 24 күн бұрын

😂…… We were looking at a new house build and the house we were looking at had a huge bedroom and en-suite and I said something about not needing such an elaborate setup because we only sleep in there. Can’t remember her exact comment but it was quite sarcastic about only using the bedroom for sleeping. That was my cue. First chance after that, it was “on” and has been ever since. I think too many of us get tied up with providing and looking after kids and the older they get the higher the demands on our time and money and it’s just exhausting. So our sex life becomes a casualty. No kids at home anymore so there really was no excuse and to be honest, we were a bit clunky for a bit till we got back in the groove again but it’s all smooth sailing now. AND best of all, regular.

@MapleTreeatdawn 23 күн бұрын

@@MrSickpuppy10Your story is the dream for sexless marriage victims.. Rena should interview you and your wife.

@Suzette-gb7uj 21 күн бұрын

Obviously, I am not a physician. But I have IC (interstitial cystitis), diagnosed in 2008, and have recently learned that a large number of women do. If the woman that is getting in trouble at work due to going to the bathroom too often hasn’t gone to a urologist, she should. Also, if she doesn’t drink water, she should. Only drinking coffee, and no water definitely irritates the bladder. Her problem may simply be not drinking enough water.

@ilivecreations664 23 күн бұрын

I believe it is an emotional disconnect.

@dlbracer56 26 күн бұрын

Two long term relationships. Both virtually sex less. One married for 21 years and two children. It ended in divorce with her departing for another partner, whom she had another child with. The second and current was never based on attraction or sexual compatibility relationship. We are basically house mates. The one common between NEITHER were initiators of sex, didn't want to be partners, BUT WOULD GO BALLISTIC If another woman showed interest, or I showed interest in another woman. Didn't want me, but didn't want another woman to have me either.

@georgekimball2792 25 күн бұрын

What you are describing is contradictory but not mysterious. If men are twisted into believing that monogamy is sacrosanct, the wife gains enormous power as 'sole provider'. The imbalance is so extreme that it is considered acceptable for her not to 'provide' - but going outside is intolerable.

@Orcasrule6355 25 күн бұрын

That sounds exactly like my situation

@anotherfreediver3639 24 күн бұрын

@@georgekimball2792 I think what you describe is really quite common, but too toxic a subject ever to be the subject of serious academic research, because women would have an interest in shutting it down.

@openranks4519 26 күн бұрын

Go to Las Vegas, Amsterdam, and Bangkok!

@camo6344 25 күн бұрын

And come back with more then you bargained for

@steveigbokwe2419 23 күн бұрын

What do they do there?

@KDubsAngels 21 күн бұрын

Yep I gave up trying. There's a blue moon every now and then. She said porn is the same as cheating. We'll then if you won't and I can't watch then that leaves straying from my marriage and I'm not doing that. They don't understand I guess we have needs too. It feels like rejection.