I love your story about your Grandma, it brought tears to my eyes. You are a beautiful soul ❤️💜

i thought the same thing-- what an incredibly strong and lovely woman his grandma must've been. i can only imagine how terrifying it had to have been being openly trans in the 80s

Sometimes the things our loved ones say out of love/fear can do as much damage as if it weren't. I'm sorry your grandmother put her fear on you.

Once I came down the stairs in a flanell and baggy jeans, ready to go out, feeling confident about my new haircut and my mom looked at me and said "you know I'll always think that you're beautiful, but I'd also always prefer if you presented more feminine. Stop hiding your beauty." I know it's not half as severe as your experience but it's something that I remember from time to time when I look at myself. I know what it's like if you're constantly being criticized for not looking or behaving a certain way. Over the years I've gotten used to it but it's still sad to not be accepted for who you are because some people are stuck in old, toxic mentalities and think that they're doing you a favour. I wish you the best and I hope that you can get closure on what happened. You deserved to be encouraged and loved.

Yes, the Leftwing blame/victim culture as if you people do not damage others . . . The level of hypocrisy is astounding.

Same, but I watched the movie in secret and instead of a grandma I was scared shitless by myself (sounds stupid I know, but I was just a kid back then).

"She told me verbatim that if I keep dressing like a guy that I will be raped and murdered like Brandon." This sentence made me laugh because every human being assigned female at birth or identifying as female has a chance to be victim of rape or murder... It doesn't matter if we are transmasculine, transfeminine, non-binary, a ciswoman, or even a little girl. It doesn't matter how we dress or how we act. We're all punished for just existing in this disgusting misogynistic society.

I feel the same. Nauseating.

Me too

You're right. The headstone was horrible.

I'd just like to appreciate the witty username of OP here. It reminds me of that "daddy chill" video 😂

prageruwu When you say they you mean his mother

Same here. My femme always calls me handsome or charming, hearing someone refer to me as pretty would feel weird and uncomfortable.

What about "gorgeous"? Does that feel feminine?

@@magpie405 depends on the context and the butch i guess. personally i don't think I'd like it

@@magpie405 most people stick to handsome, but beautiful is pretty widely used as well. butch gender presentation is very personal, so it's really kind of case-by-case

Men can be pretty also... My ex was so good looking he was pretty.

i tell my boyfriend he's pretty and beautiful, but he hasn't had to experience what that means though a FTM lens. i see how that could feel really shitty to someone who just wants to be handsome.

@@DanielleStarry Yeah. I prefer not to be called those things because it reminds me that I don't pass yet. I'm short so I have to fight against that culture of being called an "uwu cute boi" and stuff. It especially irked me in the movie because she hadn't called him pretty before that moment. It was only after finding out he was trans. Felt odd.

Same here, I felt this pang of pain in my chest.

I dislike it wherever I feel I'm at on the gender spectrum, it's belittling and objectifying as well as having the very strong gendered thing. It sounds like a thousand creeps off TV and met in real life breathing down my neck.

Or like the echo of them in more glassy strangeness.

You do realize and this was also stated in this vid that Lana wasn't at the scene of the real crime. So Brandon's last words he heard wasn't his dead name by his one and only lady love. Who btw left him after she found out he was trans in real life. The movie was grossly inaccurate. There's some interviews online with the real Lana and other people who tell the correct story. The movie wasn't an auto biographical representation of Brandon Teena life. The movie was based on him and alot of his life. But most bio pictures change alot of shit for sake of Hollywood story telling.

Mariah Masters Yeah i know. Even if it ain’t true it’s kind of a fucked up way to go. I’m aware that it wasn’t an accurate depiction

@@cpetersen6454 Yeah agreed. You would think the "woke" folks in Hollywood would have been more sensitive about that. But it was a few decades ago and alot has changed too.

@@jamiejokersin354 Hollywood is not "woke". It never was, and will never be until the old guard completely dies out, but even then, there are still plenty of young people in Hollywood that do shitty things to marginalized folx. Hollywood is still deeply conservative, and it's only the more whiny, zealous conservatives that think Hollywood is "woke".

​@@jamiejokersin354this was in 1999. Nobody knew about the concept of Dead naming.

Thank you for that!

"Masculinity" is not a bad word and is not bad. I don't care what femi-sexist morons have to say. And yes, you have a sexism problem if you have a problem with masculinity. Masculinity is beautiful.

@@TheIndependentLens Lol that has nothing to do with the story you moron! Bigots who refuse to humanize Brandon refer to him as "masculine", implying he was a butch lesbian, instead of gendering him correctly and calling him a man. Also, yes, masculinity can be harmful and toxic, something you refuse to understand lurking the incel reddit pages. And misogyny is only applies to women/femmes. Men don't experience misogyny because, just like with the outdated definition of race, it does *not* in fact mean a hatred of a group of people based on their gender, it's rooted in archaic patriarchal beliefs that are deeply rooted in all aspects of society. Too bad you're too far gone on drinking incel koolaid, and actually believe in the sjw boogeyman because you feel personally attacked by women not putting up with your shit, but I just can't feel sorry for you. 🤷‍♀️

I believe people are born with male qualities and feel more comfortable living life as the opposite sex. However, biologically it is a female. Without surgery, and hormones outside the body= female. Perhaps we should accept these individuals as they are. Not all transgenders are happy with a sex change, and not all who can not get a sex change are happy.

He was masculine .

Would you consider yourself to be a good person? How many lies have you told, and what do you call someone who lies? Have you ever stolen something, and what do you call someone who steals? Have you ever taken God’s name in vain (very serious; in Old Testament times, the Jews wouldn’t even say the name of God for fear of blasphemy) - even ‘OMG’? One more: Jesus said whoever looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery in his heart; have you ever looked with lust? Well I’m not judging you - but if you’ve done these things then you’re a liar, thief, blasphemer and adulterer-at-heart; that’s how seriously God takes sin. He is Holy (perfectly good/righteous and separate from sin) which means that H e is perfect in justice - and if He were to judge you by the moral law (we’ve already looked at 4 commandments) would you be innocent or guilty? Heaven or Hell? The answer is hell - the wrath of God upon you for your sin. Is that concerning? But fortunately, God’s will is not that you perish. He wants all men everywhere to be saved. So do you know what He did for us guilty sinners? In self-giving mercy, He sent His Son Jesus Christ. He lived the perfect life that we should have lived - tempted at all points and yet He NEVER sinned. Through His life, being in very nature God, He revealed God to men; but we in our hatred condemned Him to death. On that cross as Jesus suffered, He took on the sin of the world and was judged in our place; receiving God’s wrath. You and I broke God’s law, but Jesus paid the fine. God can justly forgive us. On that cross He died, then He was buried, but 3 days later He was raised from the dead - conquering death and Hell and ushering in The Kingdom of God. He then ascended to the right hand of God the Father (where He came from) now Lord of the living and the dead. God has fixed a date when He will judge the world in righteousness. What you need to do is repent (In humility, acknowledge your sin before God and turn to a relationship with Him) and trust ALONE in Jesus Christ and His work on the cross; and God will grant you the gift of the Holy Spirit. Then be baptised. When you place your trust in Jesus - the Lord and Saviour - these things will happen: 1) God will forgive the sins that you have committed; they were paid for by Jesus at the cross. 2) The perfect life that Jesus lived will be credited to you. He will find you holy and blameless on judgement day (and now), as Christ’s righteousness covers you. 3) You receive a place in Christ’s kingdom as an adopted child of God. God becomes your Father. Eternal life isn’t just about living forever, but a personal relationship with God Himself. That life can start now; The Father will reveal Himself to you if you seek Him. 4) God doesn’t just save you from the penalty of your sin (Hell). He can save you from the power of sin itself. Whoever practices sin is a slave of sin; but when you repent and believe the gospel [WHICH HAS BEEN DESCRIBED] the Holy Spirit comes to dwell in you and sanctify you (working in you to further abandon sin and turn to the will of God). When the end of the age comes, and eternity begins, this work will be brought to completion as you are finally freed from the presence of sin. Jesus offers to take away your sin and to give you His righteousness; you must receive it by faith. Choose this day if you will align with the world, or with Jesus and His kingdom - only His is eternal. ROMANS 10:9 - If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

@Jay who do u think the director is? a quick google search will tell you the director is kimberly price. as of 2019 articles they refer to her as a female filmmaker. she was also honoured in 2018 with a woman in film award. if i’m wrong i’d love to know more information so i can educate myself.

@Jay 15:35

Mango Blaze Yeah, we’ve definitely come a long way...MOST of us.

Also, like, if it's too dangerous to be a lesbian why in the fuck would transitioning be a good option??? "Well people hate me now but if I transition for no reason everyone will be okay with it"

You would blow a TERF’s mind 😂

I’m sorry but almost all transgender people are attracted to the gender they were born as, so it’s kind of a fact....

Most trans men are lesbians though since they are attracted to females with vaginas. Being trans does not change your biology so they are still lesbians if dating females.

@@HVS-gk7oo nope that's actually incorrect. Your orientation relates to your gender, not your sex. A trans man who likes women is straight.

@@officert5147 Yeah ok.

@@loualbino5536 -Yeah, she was simply a female who wanted to be a male....

Erin Bailey It was so different than. My trans husband and I (ex now) got so much hate. Especially from gays and lesbians, like we were f’ing up their whole s**t. They basically thought of us as frauds who are really gay.

yet, bizarrely enough that is a pretty accurate way to describe 'Brandon', since that person was a BIOLOGICIAL female. It's sort of why this person was played by a woman.

@@wylier No, that's not an "accurate way" to describe *any* trans person. Just say trans.

Yeah that made me cringe so hard. Dude almost just said "boy" and should have left it at that. So insanely sad.

@@ItsAsparageese same ! As a trans man myself I cringed pretty bad

Thank you so much for sharing. I was born two years after Brandon died but the terrifying stories of my grandmother's life were very fresh in my mind when I saw it. You're right that the movie depicts Brandon's constant anxiety of being "found out" in a really visceral way that I caught onto immediately in ways my cis boyfriend didn't. Good on you for surviving. Keep fighting, brother

@@rob0tt4rmy God damn you are one ugly son of a Butch.

While I agree with that, I will point out that a lot of cis gay men and lesbians still hold this viewpoint. The director of the movie still believes deep down that Brandon was a butch lesbian. She uses correct pronouns and refers to him as Brandon, but you can glean from interviews that she holds a belief that Brandon was "deceptive", and "pretending".

I would absolutely visit his grave if I was ever in the area. I think you should do it, especially if you're sensitive. I've had so many revelations in cemeteries.

Wow I can't believe you're trans and live in Lincoln and never heard of Brandon Teena before. I'm a cis woman who lives 750 miles away in a midwest city and I've known about him forever lol

@@jamiejokersin354 I was shocked to hear that too! I am also a cis female and Canadian, and I know all about this case. Granted, I am a big true crime buff, but still! This case received a great deal of national media attention, so I would imagine it was an even bigger story locally. What, does the OP live under a fricken rock?! LOL

Absolutely pay him a visit. He would love that.

i heard that too ew also ?? @ him gendering the character correctly and then backtracking??

robbie :D I was literally engaged to my ftm husband of 11 years when this came out. Can you imagine how much fun that was for us...lol? (Even more so for him). We are not together anymore, sadly, but I am with someone I’m crazy about (for the last six years).

Sweets, actress implies female, so you don't need the "female" before. People centuries before your self-adulating ass kissed the Earth were way ahead of you.

Well she played the role amazingly. As long as the portrayal is good, the person playing the part doesn’t matter to me

Have you seen the movie about a trans dude with Elle Fanning as him ("3 Generations")? I'm not sure why but the portrayal of that character (not just Elle's acting) and the mom&grandma characters made me uncomfortable through all the movie... like, Boy's don't cry is not my cup of tea either but if given the choice between those two movies I would DEFINITELY pick Boy's don't cry over 3 Generations.

Truly. Nuanced, insightful, and understanding. A master.

My hope is that when his mom passes on, that one of the younger family members will replace the headstone.

@@EyeLean5280 hopefully that will happen!

If I was there I'd love to. Brandon is a MAN and will always be a man.

@smilebackifyourugly what are you talking about?

@smilebackifyourugly yeah I’m saying your point doesn’t work. The comparison would be apt if the subjects of the statues wouldn’t have liked what was erected of them. Correcting Brandon Teenas grave to his actual name in spite of what his parents wanted is different than confederate statues coming down because it’s about time

I still like the movie. Saw it years ago. So sad. Love. Hate. Murder. Just sad

I also read this as a trans man but watching it now I have to say it's portrayed confusingly the least. If you already know (about) ftm people, you have a reference to apply but if this is your introduction to trans men... well yikes.

It actually was DFW to! The roller rink in the beginning is in my home town, Mesquite and where I live currently. It’s 5 minutes down the road called “Broadway”. As a queer trans non-binary myself, having been there growing up. I recognized it instantly.

Damn, I’m finding your profile picture quite gorgeous! Where’d it come from???

+

Same I kinda related to Brandon in the beginning of the movie and so now I am so scared of cis men and relationships🤠

The reality is that because “ proper education” as you all like to put it and wear out the phrase, was non existent back then. So what they called him is what they called him. Stop dwelling on the past lady.

Said the cis

Who son was she ?

I mean they got Jared Leto to play a trans woman and his acting and the movie itself was terrible I honestly just don't want any cis people playing trans people

Mtf, same