The first story made me really angry. Guilt tripping a 15 year old out of her college fund is really unfair

Regarding the first segment: Asking step-daughter if she was willing to give money quickly turned into shaming and blaming when she didn't immediately say yes. That wasn't really an ask, it was a masked demand.

For the "deaf customer at the hairstylist" story: I mean, OP was basically accused of commiting a massive crime. Their reaction was understandable. If you think someone's being human trafficked, it would make more sense to take like 10 other steps before calling the police. Did the stylist even attempt to communicate with a notepad?

The husband was wrong to ask for the. Daughter’s money. Period. THE END. He SHOULD NOT have tried to guilt trip the daughter at all.

If that husband doesn't learn, the only thing he going to worry quick scoping him is child support.

1st Story- NTA for not wanting your daughter to be victimized by someone else's addiction.

"That baby was probably crying because she was uncomfortable and stinky." Don't forget IN PAIN! She probably got a very bad diaper rash over time! It WILL burn them if you leave it sitting for too long!

Having a deaf wife, I'm in agreement with the OP in the second story. It would not have been that hard to ask a few questions to find out what was going on. Snapping next to a deaf persons ears is one of the worst things you can do to them. My wife would have been mortified and ashamed if she was in that situation and its not fair for her to feel that when the worker could have asked a few more questions to figure out the situation. Hell I've heard of women who are being trafficked to where the worker slipped them a note or found some other sort of way to communicate with the person who was being trafficked. The Deaf as it is already have a hard enough time with society and there is a huge difference between "failing your arms around" and sign langue. I wouldn't have made as huge of a fit (would have embarrassed my wife further) but you can bet I would have had a word with the manager over it. Sorry the worker was in the wrong to make such a jump in assumption.

As someone who works at a daycare, we change diapers at least every two hours and just hearing how neglected that child was made me so sad

As for the first story: HOW is she being 'selfish' when she already invested thousands for the step sons rehab multiple times? I know its a very difficult situation, but spending thousands more isnt going to work. I understand he's a desperate father, but what he's doing/saying isn't right.

With the story about the husband leaving a diaper on his baby for 9 hours I've seen people question if he even fed the baby within that time. Honestly I don't doubt it, if he was "too busy" to change a diaper he was too busy to feed his kids

You know what's the MOST messed up on the first story? The fact that getting help costs 30,000

Just throwing money at something doesn't fix it. If the step son doesn't want to get better it doesn't matter if they spend $100k on him.

That last story: The boyfriends parents are straight up stealing from him and the mums response is not okay. As she is a teacher, I would straight up have reported her to the school, and mentioned that she now has a restraining order against her.

*Warning* RANT ALERT: I am mostly deaf, about 80% loss of hearing and I am also used to reading lips as an assist and I find this mask thing to be VERY frustrating at times and will generally give people 3 shots of me telling them that I am Deaf and that they need to speak up and mask tend to muffle voices a bit, which does not help the situation but you'd be surprised that even after 3 times asked, people still tend to return to normal speaking voices after a sentence or two. At that point, I just start nodding and give up. The worst offender happens to be my DOCTOR! and the FACT that I am Deaf is IN MY CHART!!! I was at the Store on New Years day and the woman said "Happy New years" to me and it took me a few seconds to process what she had said, which feels awkward, in fact, it always feels awkward when that happens. I know that people get frustrated or even impatient with me when this happens, especially my Cousin, who is actually my Best Friend too! What is even Worse my Ex-girlfriends and my Ex-Wife would always accuse me of FAKING it or calling it "Convenient" when I can't understand what they are saying or the WORSE offense to me, is when someone is talking to me and turns Away and I can no longer hear them. There is only so many times I can tell a person "WHAT" or "Can you please repeat that, I'm DEAF", that I finally GIVE UP! I wish I had a T-shirt that simply said "I'm DEAF" but, I'm sure that it wouldn't make a difference, even if I pointed to it. I hope that was coherent and thanks to anyone that read this to this point, Thanks for letting me RANT LOL! I know it can be hard for people to get it and it is equally hard for me to deal with it. Like mutual combat LOL!

For the hairstylist one: tbh I’ve seen so many videos of hairstylists giving people hair styles that the customer clearly didn’t ask for/like. Sometimes you have to hover and micromanage so you get exactly what you want instead of what the stylist thinks will look best

Geeeeeneral rule, if money is earmarked for a kids education a person isn't the a--hole if they keep it for education. Especially if it's been saved for a long time. If it was a gift for the kids education then that money belongs to the kid. I could go on but these are pretty basic.

in the 3rd story, I like how op's husband says that op is overreacting when later in the story he gets his own mother to call op after he got offended and then he blames op for not reminding him about his own kids.

rSlash: "I don't think that I can say that the hairstylist sucks" Gotta respectfully disagree. Yes, that stylist had good intentions. Yes, she was ignorant for missing the obvious clues and the way she went about "testing" Gemma (snapping her fingers in someone's ear???). She also went about everything wrong, and good intentions aren't always enough. What if the cops had shot OP? Would good intentions absolve the hairstylist of an innocent person getting shot? If OP was arrested on suspicion (even though she would have eventually been cleared and let go), OP's future could have still been screwed. A story about a "stylist who saved some poor girl" could spread quickly on social media, and a lot of people would assume OP is guilty (regardless of reality). Again, I don't fault the stylist for her intentions, but jumping to conclusions and making false accusations can also destroy lives. I know we all love to hate on Karens, but in this situation, I don't blame OP for her reaction.

About the salon story. The woman working in the salon thought the person wearing a school for the deaf shirt, not responding to verbal cues, and "waving her hands around" was being human trafficked instead of, y'know, deaf? Not only that, but her story didn't add up. The woman was "catatonic" but also "waving her hands around?" Sign language is *never* mistaken as "just waving hands around" since it has pretty precise movements and has been pretty mainstream on TV, but we have seen bigots and karens using the "just waving hands around" excuse, haven't we? Sounds like the "human traffic" excuse was just there to excuse her actual bigotry against differently abled people. Seriously, the chain fired her *without hesitation* suggesting this wasn't her first rodeo. What would really cement this is if the school for the deaf was a local establishment and the worker had a history of refusing to serve or wrongly serving (as, again, this all started because she wasn't doing her job right) differently abled people.

I can absolutely blame the father in the first one. His son doesn’t want to be helped. It’s not right to take from his step daughters college fund because his son can’t keep it together. I hope his son does get clean, but not on his step sisters dime. That’s not okay, at all.

I'm not willing to cut that stylist the same slack that you are from the story about the deaf girl. The stylist was such a smooth brain they didn't understand the idea of a deaf person. Disabled people should be able to enjoy services without having to explain to cops that they aren't being abused or whatever

The story about the daughter's boyfriend who had to give all of his money to his parents, to be honest i think she actually saved his life. His girlfriends mom was the reason he was able to escape his toxic and controlling parents, who knows how long it would have taken him otherwise, without being homeless??

As someone who has a brother in recovery from a heroin addiction, the only thing that actually got him better was spending 6 months in county and another 4 months in state prison, along side having no contact with us and our parents for 4 ish years. I know it sounds sucky but sometimes you just gotta cut ties and let them fail and at the end of the day it’s their life. If they wanna use they will and if they wanna get clean they will.

Lesson : do not pay rehab for an addict that doesn't want it. It doesn't work like that. Rehab works for people that want to part with their addiction. It's not some magical treatment

I'd really only give the hairstylist any flack. Her lack of knowledge about human trafficking or disabilities makes me think she was trying to be a hero. In cases of human trafficking the police expect you not to intervene as traffickers will resort to violence. The only thing you should ever do is give the police as detailed a report as possible. Don't endanger your self or others over something that you're clearly not trained to handle.

Second story: shirt with: ,,school for the deaf" was enought to say she was deaf NOT HUMAN TRAFFICED

The last story actually made me mad, as my ex's parents are exactly like that, physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially abusive, and she's going to move out the moment she turns 18, just a couple months more, and probably get a restraining order against them too. It just makes me so sad that parents actually do that to their children

For the first story, the husband was definitely not right. Mom did the best she could. Jesus, why should the Daughter have to pay out of her college fund for her stepbrother's addiction? Edited: Oh wow. Didn't expect this to blow up. 🥺🥺 thanks for the likes.

Story with the stylist: Poor Gemma.

In the first story, the father sucks. He is an enabler that keeps giving his son a net and wants to penalized other people for that. As someone who has kicked multiple addictions, the son has to want it enough and figure it out himself. Don't care if it unpopular, its true.

I hate when people say they’re going to “help” with their kids. Like, buddy, you’re not “helping”, you’re doing your job. It doesn’t matter if you also go out to work, if you have kids, raising and caring for them is your job. Don’t go whingeing and whining when attending to your kids stops you from playing video games, you need to take your share of child raising responsibilities.

"The fund has around $180,000 in it" Holy crap! With that much, you could almost pay for all her books in a semester!

For the last story, it's the boyfriend who's working and therefore he has a right to the money he earns. As you have explained clearly, his parents are controlling machiavellian freaks who are crazy and need to go down. Edit: It used to say owns where it says earns. I believe earns is far more appropriate.

The story where the hairstylist called the cops because she thought the friend was being human trafficked is a butthole. Imagine that didn’t get cleared up that would have ruined op’s life because she assumed that op was a human trafficker. I can’t say I’d do anything different. I’d be pissed off especially since op’s friend very clearly had a shirt on for the school for the deaf. You can’t just assume something like that.

that story with the parents taking their kids money is literally abuse. good job on OP for helping him escape an abusive environment

OMG the first story, a thirty thousand dollar rehab is going to be a vacation spa...../ send him to a state run FREE rehab, heres a tip, THEY ALL TEACH THE SAME THINGS. you dont get a magic wand just bcuz u spend thirty grand!!!!!!!!!@ DUH

As for the first story; nta and this marriage is over.

The second story, remember that Gemma had a shirt that said her school.

The 2nd story made me angry bc the hairstylist was completely in the wrong,OP said that she was wearing a shirt that said that she’s deaf.If the hairstylist was paying attention,she would have noticed that and nothing would’ve went wrong.

That poor guy in the last story... that's extreme financial abuse, and I'm so happy he managed to escape

I agree with r slash on the first. If op would give the daughters money away, they would favor the addicted kid over the daughter. Op had given soo much money on detox, no, the fund-money is not hers to give away Last story: op saved her girls bf. He needed that money to set himself free

1st story pisses me off. They've already spent thousands of dollars to help him and the stepson clearly doesn't want to stay clean. If the dad wants to spend even more money on his addiction he should cough up the money himself, not guilt trip an actual child out of a huge amount of money for her future

Deaf girl story: No, rSlash, it is NOT a reasonable misunderstanding, it was entitled ignorance!!! Yes, I'll grant the stylist MAY have had good intentions, but doesn't it seem strange to you that the problems didn't start until AFTER OP CORRECTED the stylist on what she was getting out to use? It sounds to me as if the stylist was unwilling to accept that she made a mistake and was embarrassed and looking for a way to take the pressure off herself and avoid a bad review. There was too much evidence for most to to realize OP's friend was truly deaf.

My workplace is a resort, so human trafficking is something that can and has happened. Every employee goes through training on how to identify it and what to do, however most of the identifiers are very similar to normal things like a child that looks sad or crying, no suitcase, and things like that. Because of this, we’re told to look for multiple identifiers, not one or two. I read the original post and looked at some of the comments OP made because I was confused why neither Gemma nor OP tried to do anything to explain to the stylist why Gemma wasn’t responding. OP mentioned that Gemma’s shirt was on full display and they were signing back and forth in front of the stylist. How she didn’t notice is beyond me. Why OP didn’t say “Gemma is DEAF” is also beyond me. But I feel like this stylist was amongst those who don’t understand what being deaf is or how to identify it and automatically assumed she was being trafficked. I know she was probably doing the right thing, but she made a major jump in judgement and I don’t know if that’s just a mistake or ignorance.

Time to judge other people's actions.

Final story: that's straight up financial abuse. Way to go OP!

The part about the husband neglecting his kids to play a game was infuriating. I was a sick kid, and one time my mum had to take me out of state for a doctor. We were gone three days. All her husband had to do was take my brother and sister to daycare, feed them, and change my sister’s diaper. He didn’t change her diaper for THREE days, and never took them to daycare. My sister was very sick when we got back and my mum rushed her to the hospital. My Gran watched my brother and I. My sister almost died and broke our hospital’s record for highest fever. She was either 2 or 3 and her brain reset. Safe to say my mother divorced him. My sister didn’t talk until she was 5. She got vision therapy in 2019, at 13 just so she could read without frustration.

Tbh I don’t think Op in the deaf friend story is a complete ass. Maybe 1/5. Hair dresser 2.5/5. All she had to do was ask why she was talking for Gemma.

You don’t just feed or change a baby, you interact with them......that was child neglect and I would never trust the SOB with a plant much less a living beautiful infant who deserves care and attention. He can game during the nap.

“He Told Me It Was My Fault Because I didn’t remind him on the phone” No. She shouldn’t have to remind you that you need to look after your kid.

I'm glad that OP in the last story helped get her daughter's boyfriend out of a REALLY bad situation. Those parents had NO right to mooch off their son and take almost all his money, just to control him and keep him from leaving. I'm also glad that OP, her daughter, and her daughter's boyfriend all got restraining orders against his parents.

It’s not your daughter’s fault that her step brother is a druggie. Why isn’t the father asking his son’s mother for the money. He’s their son. 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️

Stylist story, I disagree, the hairstylist was way out of line calling the authorities like that without even trying to understand the situation. Yeah, op sucked for getting her fired, but what was she supposed to do? Be happy that the stylist called the cops on her for bs? How is that a “reasonable” misunderstanding? Catatonic and deaf are two very different things and most people should be able to tell the difference

If I let someone take care of my baby (who doesn't exist yet) and they left them in the same diper for 9 hours I would never talk to them ever again.

That hairstylist was a lawsuit waiting to happen. + With such accusations you can destroy entire innocent lives.

Second story: THE GIRL HAD A DEAF UNIVERSITY SHIRT ON

If I had ever neglected one of my kids like that, I would have kicked my own ass.

It’s so disgusting that fathers taking care of their kids isn’t seen as normal. It’s seen as being a saint. It’s expected of women to do everything. It’s INSANE

For the first story, I’ll pour my heart out. I was an addict heroin addict for over six years, and regardless of whether my parents or the state would pay for my treatment and recovery none of it won’t ever matter unless I was able to finally is acknowledge my problem where I finally had enough and was fully prepared to begin healing. It was never about the money, it was about me truly wanting to help my self. And for those who is curious, I have been clean since 2011. I thank god and my family daily for supporting me on the road to recovery

I highly disagree with you on the second story, you don't need to be a rocketg scientist to notice someone's deaf. Rather than just confirming with the friend and using her brain, the stylist went with the nuclear option.

Don’t throw away the daughter’s future for a drug addict.

Im just wondering how big that mess from the chili was. He had to cancel the evening with friends to clean it up AND was exhausted from it the next day at work?

Cant agree on the second story, how is the friend considered an ahole for being falsely accused of human trafficking? And of course OP had every right to go off on her, she tried to falsely accuse without any proof. Doesn't matter if the hair dresser had "right intentions". So can't argue with you on that.

Wow, the last story! So glad the boyfriend escaped his situation of being financially manipulated and credit to the OP for stumping up the money. Best wishes to the three of them.

Lol that op in the first story needs to talk about this

For the fist story, yeah the husband is definitely the butthole, the money is NOT for his son at all. As for the 2nd story, I do think that the hair stylist went overboard, especially when Gemma's shirt said she went to a school for the deaf.

Take pictures, he needs to see what he caused. Divorce him

Old rslash: welcome to r/nicegirls where bitches be crazy Rslash now: we hugged each other with extra spice

The story about the dad leaving his kid in a dirty diaper for nine hours? Dump him. Trust me. I was the kid that was left for hours in a dirty diaper by his dad, and believe me, the neglect only gets worse from there.

The dad in the PS5 story has an addiction. It's pretty clear.

I've had some family members that I've lost to drug addiction. Yes, usually someone suffering from severe drug addiction will need a lot of help from friends and family to heal, but in the end it doesn't matter how much help they get, the change HAS to come from them. They have to have the willpower to break free themselves. Sounds like the stepmom already did a lot to help this guy. As for the dude neglecting his child for video games; shut that shit down immediately. I'm a big gamer myself, but video games are never an excuse to neglect the wellbeing of yourself or others.

AITA for wanting everyone who says “first” to have their teeth rearranged?

Saying someone's human sex trafficking someone is a pretty big accusation

For the last story, NTA, OP had to help the boyfriend get out of that situation, the only reason I can see the 2 parents taking his money is because their money is so tight in bad assets and they don't want to admit, so when they saw their son had a girlfriend and job, they saw it as a money grab.

Ugh, that last story I really related to. My mom told me when I started working at 16, that she was putting all my money away in her savings account for my college, but when I turned 18 and she signed the account over to me, I found that she had spent everything but 8 cents. She then was very surprised that I moved in with my boyfriend without telling her.

I don’t get it. How would you feel if you were accused of human trafficking? So she’s a Karen for being humiliated and retaliating?

As with all addictions that destroy a family, you have to separate yourself from the addict because they will continue forever.

Last OP saved that poor young man from financial abuse and *she's* been manipulated into feeling like the baddie? I'm so glad she seems to have got the responses she needed to stand firm. +1 for Reddit there.

I would of of given the Stylist 3.5/5, while she 'might' of had good intentions, she didn't do enough investigating (plus the snapping in ears was quite rude). With the deaf shirt easily seen (it would of been visible when they walked into the salon), she could of just asked. "Hey is she deaf?" That would of solved the whole thing before the cops ever had to be involved. Alot people are also pointing out: how can the girl be catatonic but 'waving her arms around', that contradicts each other. There is also a vast difference from 'waving arms around' and sigh language. While OP could of handled it better. I'd give them maybe 1/5 for that. The police being called could of easily ruined OP's life. She could of been arrested if the police hadn't talk to her and her friend. OP had the right to talk to manger about the Stylist's mishandling of the situation. I agree with another comment that since the manager fired the Stylist right then, leads me to believe the Stylist has had trouble with her boss before. That this was the last straw. It is a everyone (but Gemma) sucks one. But I feel Rslash you let the stylist off too easily. This is the only 2nd time I really disagreed with you. I love your channel alot. Please consider the situation more. (Oh and give Yugo a belly rub for me)

15:08 you're not a butthole you a saint, you saved that man from two greedy controlling narcissists, you deserve trophy.

The second story - this is one of the rare times I disagree with rslash. Deaf people are frequently dangered by, injured, or even killed by police due to “ignorance”. Why didn’t the stylist text with Gemma or write it down or ask OP? Excusing the stylist and calling OP a Karen for reacting emotionally to a stressful and dangerous situation without any knowledge of the Disabled community was ableist. I’m not saying OP wasn’t partially an AH, but it’s more understandable than what the stylist did (“testing” the hearing of a Deaf person, judging ASL as “flapping”, etc.)

Look, I can't speak on how terrible addiction is. I've never been through it but girl RUN!!! New husband gives nothing to her daughter but expects her to dump $30,000+ on his sons addiction. Plus she has to live like everything of value is going to be stolen from her all the time. Take your daughter and run!!! Relationship is getting toxic (if not already) and the 2 of them don't deserve it!! Throwing money down the drain won't fix the problem. The step son has to WANT to change.

Okay so a lot of chain businesses are required to know sign language. If Gemma is using sign language, the stylist should’ve recognized it at the least. Also if she’s suspicious about Gemma not being able to hear she should’ve asked OP about it. To which OP can explain. Also the stylist was being ignorant because she assumed human trafficking first without evaluating signs. Also OP isn’t paying as much attention as she claim because if she noticed the snapping she could also explain that she is deaf in that moment to. The stylist was ignorant for immediately assuming human trafficking also. There are usually more signs. The way the stylist tested also is NOT efficient. I know btw a lot of places are required to know a bit of sign language since I have a lot of family members that were born with, experience an accident to cause, or are now experiencing hearing loss. I know the human trafficking “test” the stylist did isn’t efficient because I have family in law enforcement.

Last story is straight up financial abuse and yeah, probably more that isn't obvious from the post

Complaining about shitty service doesn't make you a Karen. Being a Karen makes you a Karen. (8 years of retail assistance and manager experience here. I've seen them up close.) Imagine being accused of human trafficking because your hair stylist can't read. It's not outside the realm of possibility, of course, but it's suuuuuch a jump

We have forgotten to change my nephew's diaper at his parents wedding..... we all thought someone else did it as he didn't fuss at all or stink.

Yeah that second to last one was absolutely horrific. That father needs a reality check. If im gaming with the baby in the same room im exiting queue after every match to check on the baby.

Regarding the first story: before I even comment on the money and whether OP is TA, I want to point out something from a recovery perspective: the stepson needs to be ready and willing to get clean, otherwise they’re wasting money on programs. Considering they already spent as much money as they did on a previous treatment program (out-patient for heroin? Sounds like methadone maintenance) and it didn’t help, it won’t be anymore helpful if they deplete the college fund for him. Cheap programs work just as well as the expensive programs do, but they only work when the addict is in the right place to be sober. Being forced into rehab has a low success rate because most of us thoroughly intend to use again when we get out. I happened to find clarity the third time I was forced in and I’ve had 6 and a half years clean, but the first two times, I just did it to appease my family. I get that his father wants his son to get better, but the son has to want to be clean. But I’ll come back to that thought in a moment. As for the post: the college fund is earmarked for the daughter’s college. The husband doesn’t even contribute to the fund, so he has no right to the money, nor does he have the right to emotionally manipulate the daughter into handing it over. Addiction is a horrible disease, but OP’s daughter should not give up on her own future because her step brother is an addict. While addiction is a disease, we still have to accept responsibility for getting on the substances in the first place. I don’t know whether the stepson experienced trauma, and injury, or just liked to party, he is still accountable for using in the first place. OP’s husband needs to be supportive without babying him. I understand he loves his son and doesn’t want him to destroy his life (or lose his life,) but that doesn’t give him the right to demand OP destroy her own daughter’s future for an expensive rehab which has no guarantees. OP’s daughter sounds like she works her butt off, but the chances of getting a full-ride scholarship to the school of her dreams are very very slim and she will need all the money she can get! The husband went too far, but he’s acting out of desperation so I’m not going to be too hard on him. OP is NTA. Honestly, the stepson needs to get it together. Whew!

The Last story: financial abuse is a thing, and that was a classic case of it, compounded with everything else. Glad he got out of there.

Second story: NTA. The hair stylist got what they deserved

The controlling parents might just be a serious case of "not wanting to let their child go" rather than evil abusive parents.

Rslash releases: Me: It’s Karen time! ;)

Being accused of being human trafficking by an employee yeah I'd probably want to speak to a manager I don't care how "understandable" it is that's super insulting and they clearly didn't think. I'd say 1 butt hole just for the firing.

The OP of the stylist story wasn't getting mad for Gemma, she was getting mad that they thought she could be a trafficker

She shouldn’t have to remind him to look after his own kids..

In story 2, I have to agree with reddit's judgement of ESH, as although the OP is definitely acting like a Karen, the hairstylist claimed the innocent party was catatonic (immobile or unresponsive) but never checked if she could write or text for communication. Edit: I would also like to add that I believe OP was acting like a Karen after the cops left with her outburst of choice words and expletives, but tbh, it was deserved and OP is only a 1 to 2 on the AH scale. The hairstylist was definitely an AH here though. (Please bear in mind I did say "acting like a Karen," not that OP was a Karen.)

I think the hairdresser should have ask questions like why are you talking for her? Or what are you two doing with your hands? If I was Op, I would be a Karen too.

2nd story: NTA I don't care that the stylist was fired, OP could have literally been sent to JAIL, and a deaf person can't hear what the police are asking a supposedly catatonic trafficking victim, can they???!!!

Okay as someone who graduated cosmetology in the past few years I need to speak on the issue with the hairstylist. When you go to cosmetology school there is an entire chapter on domestic violence and looking for signs/being aware of any red flags for domestic violence. They even provided us little domestic violence panflets that they said some salons carry in them so that while you know a man or woman is outgetting a haircut and they're away from the abuser/ they feel safe with with somebody that they see once a month or once every couple months (the stylist) can give them a safe space to be able to be able to call and report the domestic violence or to try and get some sort of help. That's literally taught to us to be part of our jobs it's not her being nosy she was concerned for one of her clients and she did what she was trained to do. It's unfortunate that she's being accused of starting drama when we are taught to look out for things like that and to try and get them help in the safest way possible. Did the stylist I'm this story go about it the right way? No I think she should of tried communicating with her client in different ways, definitely not snapping next to her ears, I do think she had good intentions though, human trafficking is serious and if that really was the case what she did could of saved a life.