Content ke king ho sir aap shat shat pranaam

My brother's marriage is intercaste ,my friend's marriage is interstate, my one another friend's marriage is interreligion all marriages are running successfully however my cousin's got married within caste is fighting court case for divorce, cultural and caste differences can be managed however personal difference cannot be managed , personal difference is main reason for unsuccessful marriage, so marry the person with whom u share compatibility and understanding do not give much importance to caste , religion and region.

I am a South Indian girl married to a North indian man. Yes, there are frictions surrounding cultures. For eg- i find North indians loud and speak with cuss words in normal conversations also. They're not bad people though.... But the good thing is that me and my husband married quite late in our 30's and we do understand the cultural differences and take our own time to respond to such differences giving each other time, space as well as freedom. There is no parental interference also. I guess marrying late does have a few positives also.

My entire family has always married outside caste and culture. My father is a Rajput and my mother is a brahmin. We were never adopted by both the cultures and for a long time there was hostility in both families. When time came to my marriage I was never accepted in both castes so had to venture out and marry a bengali brahmin girl out of love. Our family is doing exceedingly well and now there is no problems. My bengali family is very supportive of me.

I can speak for my experience - I am a Gujarati, born and bred in India for the first 20 years of life. Had a forceful arranged marriage within community at the age of 19. There were problems in the marriage from day one, but no parents/relatives came forward to help, talk with husband/in-laws to bring a solution, etc. Everybody acted dumb, blind, and oblivious. Finally took the decision, and got divorced after almost a decade on my own. Today, in a relationship with a white American with nothing in common except empathy, strong character, and good human values. As long as one is trained/knows how to be respectful, understanding, accepting, compatible, egoless, having integrity, willingness to work things out, mature, and minding one's own business in a good way, things can almost always work out, and thankfully these great traits are not caste/community/religion specific. Food, festivals, clothing, culture, etc are good common things to have but these things have nothing to do in the making of a satisfactory and succesful relationship and/or marriage.

Main issue is the couple living under one roof with saas sasur or joint family. Conflicts are bound to happen there. Even in same caste marriage it happens, you know the whole story. Thats the main issue. If couple lives separately then intercaste mrg or food etc is not a big issue. Ab ek hi ghar main sas sasur Tamil wife aur haryanvi husband rahega to kalah to hou hi. Vo to same caste main bhi hoi hai. Please don't discourage intercaste mrg as it is the best way out to get rid of caste system and close the possibility of communal hatred in India. Jab sab rishtedar ho gaye to danga fasad kiske sath karoge? Soche india Pakistani aapas main shadi karein to kya yuddh karenge?

I was a Punjabi girl married to a south Indian , now separated Yes food is a very imp part of our lives , you can eat exotic food 7-8 days max , afterwards you wanna eat your desi food because that’s what satisfies your soul. Someone who ate rice once a week to have rice 3 times a day as a torture of sorts If I cooked my own food or gave it my husband they felt so threatened that I am trying to make that guy Punjabi.Even if I tried following their culture , their way of doing pooja , etc it was always pointed out that how I did it wrong , imagine they would bad mouth me in front of me as I cudnt understand their language. My husbands family was never interested in teaching me their language, it was only my office colleagues who taught me that language. Yes south Indians may be very educated ,soft spoken compared to north people, but they are hundred times more conservative with regards to their culture and traditions to the point of being suffocating. Most of the time I was adjusting , compromising .My identity as an individual had just vanished .Life just became about following their lifestyle. Imagine my educated husband left me outside my office entrance at 7AM as by 9AM Solar eclipse was occurring and he was not ready to have me on road at 9AM. I stood 2 hours outside my office. Intercaste , inter religion marriages do well when both the partners are staying alone abroad. As aboard both wont be able to follow their culture and food habits , so it is more easy. I have loads of IT friends who have done these inter marriages and are settled abroad happily. and yes parents should talk calmly reasoning out the things rather than just shouting and getting annoyed

I am from Punjabi married to maharashtrian Brahman happily married for 50 years one of my daughter in law is Bengali and other one is English happily married for 15 and 20 years all are doctors very happy

I am a north indian and husband is south Indian.... There are problems.... But I strongly believe if u r financially strong then....... Both sides will be okay ....money has the power to solve everything.... ..... Same cast marriages also have problems.....there r differences and problems everywhere....................we r living happily.

Anyone who are in love, please go for it. There is no guaranteed same caste or intercaste Marriage can makes you happy. The beauty of love is that it doesn't see one's color, religion, place of birth, it's ultimate connection between two people which many arranged marriage ppl won't understand in their whole life time.

I am a South Indian married to a north Indian, I agree with what he says. I find we quarrel on topics which is so normal in our community. Adjustment is not that easy on day to day basis. As long you live aboard it's ok. But it's a nightmare to imagine to raise kids in between two families.

Sir,you are so far sighted ,you understand the practicalities of life so well,the examples you give to explain certain situations are so relatable..they make understanding so simple and crystal clear.May God bless you with healthy life,society is indebted to you.Aap bahut punya ka kaam kar rahe hai.Please accept our gratitude 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Can't agree more...I have done an intercaste marriage, happily settled and from experience saying that yup..its takes hell lot of adjustments...so pl choose wisely

I have seen many intercaste and inter-religious couples having a successful married life for the last 30 years. On the other side I have seen a marriage in the same caste but could not last for even a year and ultimately led to divorce.

Intercaste marriage or same caste marriage both are doomed if both partners are not enlightened and mature enough. One benefit of intercaste marriage is that it discourages casteism and improvement in child genes. Intercaste marriage se jaativaad shayad khatm ho jaaye india main. Assam Rajasthan wala aapka example theek nahi. Jo jahan rahega vahin ka culture adopt karega. Ye to same caste main bhi hota hai jab bachhe out of state ya foreign rehte hain to unko bhi apni bhasha aur food ka pata nahi hota.

My marriage is inter caste and Inter region and we and both families are very happy since past 31 years. My only son may marry from entirely different community. So as future mother in law I am a little anxious. But as you suggested, proper discussion with the couple as well as both sets of parents is absolutely necessary to overcome all the hiccups.

Totally agree. The lesser the adjustment the better. Thank you sir

गज़ब वीडियो है जी . . आपके पास समझाने के लिए proper vocabulary भी है। . . .उम्दा

Partially agree, Partially not .. I Being maheshwari marwari ( born and brought up in maharashtra) married to hard-core punjabi guy from jalandhar ... yes initially I faced many turbulence but later on everything went on smooth. ( many things like behaviour of mother in law or other relatives .... boy already knows how is his mother and other relatives.... boy should be open and transparent in depicting their nature to his would be wife.....) Whyy .. because mutual respect between husband and wife. I learnt cooking authentic punjabi food after my marriage and he learnt to enjoy my marawari plus maharashtrian food. I think in intercast marriage...... maturity and mutual understanding is utmost important factor ..... then everything becomes easier.... otherwise even u marry in same cast u will definitely hit the turbulence and deep stone.

"Every action has a consequesnces. Ap action lete ho, par consequence nahi pata hota he, wahi me batata hu, so you take calculated decision." Really grateful that you are sharing all these life experiences and sutras with us,

You are not just marrying a person you are going into a new complex world where the challenge is to make balance with adjustments towards different aspects of life.

I totally agree, within caste marriage itself has so many differences . Mindset is affected by upbringing, environment . Even if one person is from city and other from town , mindset changes BTW appreciate the conscious effort " mahila"

I really appreciate that food wala part. Everyday food is indeed an integral part of a married life. 100% Agree 👍🏻

Compatible life style is must for marriage. To provide peaceful existence. Which in turn leads to ultimate growth.

Excellent video.Eminently sensible advice.Love transcends caste in marriages. But love rocket fizzles out soon.Then intercaste differences hit. Differences in families and lifestyle present problems specially to the newly wedded bride. Add to that differences of food habits ( veg, non veg,...) aggresiveness, customs, festivals in intercaste marriages. Be conscious of these and your ability to reconcile, and only then jump into an intercaste marriage, if you may.

Superb clarity. When you are young and in love, practicalities are the last thing on your mind. This video is for everybody.

Very practical advice. Well done, sangoji

Namaste, Agreed. God Bless you and your Family with Abundance.

Thank you for the video. The lines that touched me- 1. Samaj to jaisa hai Vaisala rahega. Vo nahi badlega. 2. Once your in laws reach 70 75 they stop interfering in your life related to cultural things

Have faced this live. Have almost stopped talking to inlaws. Forcing me to do rituals, preferring hygiene in kitchens puja rooms but not in bathrooms...and thinking that teaching me a hygiene course as a part of bahu grooming.

Sir, your boldest effort yet. Lot of people like me relate to what you said but we’re unable to give logical arguments like these. Great job.

After seeing this video.. आपका तजुरबा और विचार शक्ति लाजवाब है। Such a beautiful and pragmatic perspective। Already shared। Thanks for such guidance।

Amazing video. Great content and thought process

Marriages work based on the individuals concerned. Same caste, region etc helps in tiding over the initial years where there is so much of stress to adapt to the new customs, culture etc. But later it is on the individuals concerned to work on that and take a midway. As sir has stressed in many of the videos, we need to prioritise the relationships, money matters etc as he always suggests. Many inter marriages work while same type marriages end up in divorces too. General feeling is that of understanding the individuals and respecting, then all marriages would work.

Terrific Video Sir. I'm a 27 yr old guy. I once used to be an liberal leftist but became a conservative over the years when maturity kicked in. On this topic, I also developed the same thought process that you mentioned. People do not realise the amount of culture shock one can get in intercaste marriages, specially the girl after she starts to live with the boys family. Leave states aside, here in Bharat culture changes every 100 kms. Even different castes living in same city have very different way of living which has developed in their community thru hundreds of yrs due to their community profession. Liberals disregard this practical historic relevance of things over superficial criticism influenced by the urban city culture which is nothing but sort of western globalised culture. On a funny note, Since I'll be looking for a girl to marry in coming yrs, Sir you can start your own marriage agency only for people who watch your videos. Atleast one would be sure that the individual he/she is going to marry would be a wise person as they consume your content.😛🙏🏼

Very true !! Awesome advice

100% correct. I had a practical marriage where i only saw the education of the guy and his sense of responsibility thats all. Everything else paled in comparison to the potential and capability of this person. Though there were many issues the practical aspects acted as a cushion to the marriage. And after many years i discovered all marriages around me are same including the ones that started with lot of love. The practical aspects took over after a period of time and by that time we had developed love within our marriage. ;)

Sir i have never seen someone talking on this topic so bluntly.

Thank you so much Sir. Vry Nicely said.

Thanks for your guidance sir , happy new year to you 🎊🎊🎊🎉

Very correct and deeply analysed video. Great work Looking forward for more such videos on different practical topics of life,relationship & career. Thank you so much again for making such a thoughtful and wonderful video👋👋👋

Brilliant piece of advice. Totally agree💯... Itercaste examples are 2 gud.. 😀😀🙏

Much required was this eye opener video. Sir, you touched every issue pertaining to this subject. This will surely motivate people towards a more practical approach in life. ❤️🙏 Chances of divorce and/or other conflicts with in the partners and their parents are imminent. Cultural exceptence and practice is not easy for any of them. Children to such couples do get confused by the culture differences of their parents. Regards sir for bringing forth such great content 🙏

In these times when everyone fears being judged about political correctness of their speech, I have never come across anyone who is as fearless, pragmatic or who speaks with such depth of knowledge than you Sir🙏🏻 Personally, I liked someone and we were great friends, had I pursued it, getting married was not an issued However I choose not to move in that direction as there was nothing common among our families, No love lasts a lifetime, After few years it comes down to what u can choose to tolerate and bear everyday. Nobody is perfect, but the contempt of familiar imperfections is far better than the frustration of unfamiliar imperfections.

Bang on. Absolutely right & practical.

Nailed it. I am in a North - South marriage. Culture difference is a shock and believe me neither family accepts the boy / girl. Marry only if you have a rock solid foundation and commitment. Go ahead with intercaste marriage only if you make a beautiful difference in each other's family. Don't try to be possessive and break up a family in the process.

What you said is time tested principles of our culture. Going against it has its own consequences. Very practical and correct guidance.

Sir u r helping and guiding us like our parents even more than that. Thankyou for your time and efforts.

Nice informative content produced after thorough research what actually happens in real life. Please make video on live in relationships.

Sir you are not a speaker on some bold topics, you are a true LEGEND, who is removing the dust infront of eyes, of thought process. Your words and thought process is on practical issues of life. I Respect you sir for your work. May god bless you.

I would stick to the advice given in first few minutes. If you do such marriage after a certain age of maturity, like 30years then you are smart enough to marry as you like. I have also done intercaste, inter region marriage and in my relatives we are seen as a great example of happy couple. So it all depends upon how mature you are and how much can you mold yourself for your partner's happiness. Btw, my wife is a doctor and is very good at cooking and can cook all kinds of Indian and western food items. So that may be a reason for my happy married life .. I don't know 😅😅

Excellent analysis sir. 100 percent accurate and practical. When a couple fall in love they don't realise what will be the consequences after marriage and when they grow old they realise the mistake.

A very well done topic & very thought provoking!

I adore your practicality sir ...u explain these complicated topics in a holistic way . Regards

I had a 2 states marriage and am really happy … yes i do agree in most cases you do make adjustments … there is loss of culture, a bit of confusion but the person you love and marry is worth all that … both can sort of make way for new norm… its much much better than sacrificing your love and marring a someone what ok compatibility person just so there is less issue… all this is dependent on lot of factors and different case to case but i believe if you find “the. Person” then such small changes are totally worth it 😊

You are so practical, pragrammtic and I admire your realistic suggestions.

Very well said and put together.

One of the best video of the channel...BOLD HARSH AND ABSOLUTE TRUTH

MAG I totally agree with most of the points you mentioned Bold and realistic topics 👏🏻

Excellent, Sir. Very much needed during this times.

Good you added English subtitles. Please do that to your other videos as well I hope you reach a greater audience and other countries too

Thank you sir for so detailed analysis on inter caste marriages the content was very good and it will give lot of guidance to all girls and boys. Thank you !!

Majority of the video is dedicated to the social and geographical differences which in most cases have nothing to do with caste, thumbnail and title should have been around these differences but it's "inter caste marriage". Two people of same religion but of different caste that are living in the same city in same class of society, generally have much more similarity than two people of same caste but different background. These differences are social and geographical and in most cases have nothing to do with caste. I don't know how a knowledgeable and progressive person like you mixed all these things together so casually. I am sorry to say that you sounded like a Whatsapp university uncle in this video sir.

Thank you so much Amit Ji for sharing life-changing videos🙏💐🙏

Thanks so much sir makeing this video!

I am north Indian, my husband is South Indian, we love similar food: on daily basis- south Indian and some occasions north Indian (I prefer it that way, our kids too are gastronomically south Indians). We both have similar value system and thought process. His family is also much more sane than mine :-), I would say decide on case by case basis.

Your efforts are great sir. You discuss topics which are need of the hour, and which everyone else avoids. Really commendable effort.

I agree with many points ☺️ brilliant effort sir 🙏

Oh God... U nailed it. What a great video. Much needed one. Very nicely articulated. Recently gone through this... My parents denied for intercaste/interreligion marriage. And now I understood what they were saying how factual that was. I was still in that pain somewhere. But after watching this, feeling much more lighter. Thanks sir. It's blessing that people like u exist. That's why I love KZfaq so much.

Sir you're right on most of the points. But there are some exceptions I would like to mention. You are taking the example of haryana way too often. I am a North Indian born and brought up in Delhi and my wife is a malayalee, her parents too settled in Delhi in 1980's just like my parents. Both the families have very much adjusted to The Delhi culture and eat both North Indian and kerela food. I have been brought up in Mayur vihar which is a very culturally significant neighborhood with lots of malayalees in vicinity so I am well versed with the culture, even lot of my friends from school are from different ethnic groups. Our families respect each other in terms of food, language, rituals and traditions. And the example that you gave for the post partum mother eating "gond", gond is eaten both my North and South Indians, we eat gond ladoo and they make a 'panjiri' sort of a thing out of it. Port partum mothers eat dry fruits and coconut both in North and South of India. Another example of that punjabi girl living in tamil nadu is also not true. So many south Indians are fair in complexion and very attractive even they outnumber the North Indians in being quite attractive. Edit : my wife is from a punjabi dominated colony, rajouri garden and my family is originally from Gorakhpur.

Great work Sir👏👏! Keep going and kindly make more videos on things to avoid and things to look for choosing a life partner.

great work..and deep research..thanks sir..

Even Supreme Court of India, encourages it. For both scientific and societal reasons. No kidding, Google it....Thing is, only when you are mentally and financially prepared for marital adjustments. Scary part is when you attend family functions. You only need emotional maturity to sail through it. At end, we are just humans' guys. This is not any identity or exsistential crisis.

Marry someone when you both can adopt and adjust each other's family and their lifestyle. Similarly makes your life easier, learned this after living with different people as room mate. Jitna insan mere se similar tha utna life peaceful tha.

Thanks for such a valuable information .

You put my heart out... last statement was the ultimate. No relationship can bear the burden of all the relationships

My marriage is intercaste and interstate. Although not much difference in the state My sister married within state within caste. She is struggling with her marriage, mine is still smoother. It all depends on the compatibility of souls and families.

31:15 Irodov-shirodov 🤣🤣 Thanks for the clarity. I'd look for some linear equations to solve in the future and avoid complex integration and differentiation.

The way you explain these topics is awesome.

Very informative. Keep sharing such videos and valuable advice

No Sir, you're not correct this time, i love your videos but this time your video is just about the food, culture and rituals. but marrying someone is not just these 3 things you've emphasizing. love is beyond all these, when we truly love we make compromise and sacrifices as well which comes from both ends. this restrictions can even go beyond the circumstances you made here. hamare haryana main hi 20 type ki cultural differences, is hisab se to padosi se hi shadi karwani padegi.. you haven't seen a bright side, these all points are silly points which can be ignored easily.

Very true topic My parents r intercaste and I have faced this confusion and ridicule in life Luckily I found husband who is very close cultural and religious like me

Mag , keep it up Guide us with these untouched topics in our society

Wonderful analysis. Thank u.

Sir aapki hr baat se agree krti hun. Meri arranged marriage huyi thi. punjab se MP mein ayi. Parathe, Sarno ka saag makki ki roti ki jgh poha jlebi aur kachori samosa pr zindagi guzarni pr rhi hai. Culture alg, khana alg, traditions alg, soch alg, uthna bethna baat krna sb alg. Do naav pr svar hona prta hai. Jaape mein panjiri nhi mili kyonki punjab mein gond aur soond se bnti hai jo MP vale digest nhi kr skte.... body mind sb out of control ho gya.... Sir ki baat Mano.... 2-4 din adjust krna aur life time krne mein frk hota hai. Bche sbse zyada piste hain. Husband ko punjab mein leftover lgta hai aur mujhe MP mein. Bahut tragic hai Smjhiye nya jnm jismein aapko poori past life yaad ho aur aap n is life ke rhe n uss life ke

I would say living with a joint family would be tougher but when only a couple is living by themselves then it would be easier to adjust. But you both will have to adjust either way.

Such a complex topic explained quite simply and easy to relate/comprehend manner. My faith is not the the same as sanatana dharma but i am very impressed with this - "actions and their consequences". Too good. Thank you sir

Your style of explanation is simply outstanding. You have touched the topic till depth. Enjoy watching your videos.

You are right because when in 20s, people want to impress others and while approaching 30s maturity comes and people want a marriage should be more like a companionship

If you marry a person from another religion, there is an immense pressure on you to convert. You may be a vegetarian and the partner may be a non vegetarian.

Thankyou Thankyou and Many More Thankyou. Bestest Video I Have Ever Seen. 🙏

Dil se khushi ho rahi hai, jab aise clarity milti hai na, to bht hi achha lag lgta hai

100% agree on each point , i believed in the same so went for an arranged marriage and happy with my decision .Also do make a video on live in relationship at the earliest for young generation ❤️😇🙏👌

Can you / will you make a lecture session to the elders of all families how they should assist the intermarried couple instead of becoming one more hindrance to their happiness. There are intermarried families where the husband AND his family members take care of the girl's religious / cultural beliefs and customs and vice versa the wife and her family also take care of the boy's culture and customs. This is the system which you should implement as an elder and teach to other elders.

Nice thought sir ...thank you for making this 👍 ...all misunderstandings about intercast marriages are now completely solved 👌.

Sir, you have very aptly explained the challenges of intercaste/interstate marriage... The points you have presented are very very accurate... I confirm this from my own experience..

I always wanted to have inter-community marriage. I did it, I got married in 2013. My dream came true

I am north indian brahmin girl married to south indian non brahmin family. Families background also stark difference. I would say well researched content and practical advice. Deep insights without any judgement. Below are my experiences: I was dark skinned ugly girl for my society, but in south i was accepted and appreciated for my beauty 😅😅😅. I am vegetarian, so my husband did ask me to cook non veg at home. And allowed him to eat outside. 🍗🍗🍗🍗. We both are working, didn't get much time to celebrate any festival and do ceremony. We don't live with our families and far from our hometowns. I missed gond laddu after my pregnancy 😢 In general We are neither accepted by North indian or south Indian famlies as family friends😂 But I kinda hated typical UP Brahmins seeing my mother suffering....so took big risk. I was lucky . . . .

You have brought a very different angle, thank you for sharing, This is the best KZfaq channel for Indians.

All points are true. Our marriage was supported by both families (Marathi & Bengali). Initially it felt like there won't be any challenges but later everything got magnified. But kind of Ghosh family story. I advise my cousins to go for same caste marriage.