I felt it as a good advice . Since I was planning to stay with my son even after his marriage. Now i feel it otherwise

I wish everyone, especially husbands understood this.. A lot of marriages would be saved and a lot of daughters would be saved from getting depressed with life!!

पहली बार, किसी पुरुष को, बल्की किसी ससुर को, घर की हालत का विश्लेषण, इतना सटीक और वह भी इतने -- स्माइलिंगफेस के साथ -- करते हुए देखा। 😂 🙏 कितनी सारी बहूओ की आंखे भर आई होगी यह सब सुनकर।😢 हमसे ज्यादा, आपकी बात, आप की उमर की लोग सुनेंगे और शायद उसपर गौर करेंगे। हम सारी बहुओं की तरफ से आप को प्रणाम🙏 ओर धन्यवाद 💐💐

सर दिल से प्रणाम । एक एक शब्द सच्चाई है। न किसी बात को बढ़ाया-चढ़ाया, न कुछ फालतू कहा आपने। सर कमाल कर दिया आपने।🙏🙏

Ek samajhdaar insaan hi ye baate example ke saath rakh sakta hai. Very good ji.

I am from Pakistan. I have lived with in laws only to go into depression. The husband only felt better by insulting me in front of his relatives. I also looked around on other families getting their sons married happily but then complaining about bahu and the gap extending to the extent of not even speaking to each other. In the end, they had to separate anyway. So I decided years ago that I will not live with my son and his wife. But I wanted a supporter of my view as I didn't find any. Thanks for fortifying my confidence in my decision.

Bhuto ko bura lga Hoga but I agree with you...parents ko 60 k baad hi bccho ki need hoti h ya kisi beemari k chlte...Lakin tab tak itna kalah klesh ho chuka hota h ki bcche old age m Mata pita ko chor k chle jate h..aur jab unko sewa ki need hoti h tab tk dil me itni kadvahat bhr jati h aur dilo me dooriya aa jati hain.hona to apke kahe anusar chahiye...very good advice.will must follow when I became in-law 😄

Uncle ap ki bahu kitni lucky hai😊

Valid points ! And the most valid point was - spending a lot of money in having lavish ceremonies due to peer pressure but not using that money in investing in real estate and thereby, achieving peace of mind.

Problem is you can't share this with your in-laws 😜.. but rightly said . You have addressed this issue in a very nice manner. I hope it reaches masses.

I am so grateful to my husband that we decided to live separately from in-laws during the initial years of my marriage, the understanding we have now otherwise wouldn't have been possible... happily married for 10years now.

हो तो हरियाणा के पर बात पंजाबियों वाली की है । बहुत ही सटीक, व्यावहारिक बात की है । कई बातें जानते हुए भी हम दुखी रहते हैं बिना कोई रियल रीजन के । कई लोग मन से तो समझ जाएंगे पर उपरितौर पर आपको बुरा भी कह सकते हैं । बहुत अच्छी बात को आपने उठाया है

I am unable to find the right words for the praise....This video should be made a compulsory watch for all the middle class .... Most logical and reasonable things said and explained...THANK YOU...

Very true. I suffered for 20 years with my in laws. My husband would always support his mother and sisters.When I couldn't take it any more,I told my husband that I was willing to leave him over the issue. Finally he understood

"…Ladki ka baap bhi akela rehta hai"….this selfish society willingly ignores this fact. Thank you Sir for highlighting everything. Wish more people thought like you 🙂

Really very good thought.... Ladke ke maa baap jo 50 saal k h wo kaise akele rh skte hai,, ladki ka baap to rh skta h chahe wo 70-75 saal ka h wo rh skta h kyki wo beti ka baap hai.... Thought of our society🤬🤬🤬🙄🙄🙄

Itni practical batein, balanced solutions. Hope people understand. Sir, you've nailed everything so precisely and it's happening in every house. High time we elders understood that we can not behave with our children, the way our parents/ inlaws behaved with us. Times change and we need to evolve. Staying away from each other gives a lot of peace of mind to both parties,resulting in good physical and emotional health. Thanks a ton for highlighting this issue. Hope good sense prevails over all of us.

Agree with you completely…. It is a nightmare for bahu, if her husband doesn’t understand/ cares of the awkwardness she faces in her sasural… especially difficult when the senior generation has unrealistic ideas / expectations from her & her husband wants to be a good little boy of mummy dearest 🤨🤨🤨🤨

I lived with my mother in law for 37 years. ( she passed away last year) My husband being the only son, never ever wanted to stay away from his mom. I served her all these years without a word of gratitude. I wouldn't want to do it, if given half a chance.

Very practical advice. I am happy that I have done this in my family. I and my son's family live separately. I feel it keeps the love and understanding more stronger than living in a joint family. Thank you sir for this much needed advice for today's generation.

भाई आपने एक परिवार की जो आज कल सबसे ज़्यादा दिक़्क़तें हैं, उन्हें समझ कर बहुत ही अच्छे से बताया है, और समाधान भी दिया है। सबसे अच्छा तो आपने उस बेटी की बाबत जो चिंता ज़ाहिर की, वो गौर करने लायक़ है, हर सदस्य को निभाने से अच्छा है अपनी अलग व्यवस्था करना। एक दूसरे के भाव को समझ कर उससे व्यवहार करना। अच्छी विवेकपूर्ण समझ देने के लिए धन्यवाद।

A very practical advice indeed!I stayed with my in laws for 15 years and then moved out with much bitterness for one another.The points you mentioned are absolutely true.Better stay separate and have a harmonious relationship rather than staying together and turning the relationship toxic.

Issue is - once son gets married , MIL and FIL starts feeling ill, or i should say they start feeling(showing) it more and more...bcz of that they create psychological pressure on son to keep them with him plus pressurise daughter in law to become kind of their care taker, ignoring the fact that just few months back they were looking for a professionally qualified working girl. Few parents time and again remind son of how much hardships they hv gone through raising him up, as if girls parents hv not done so. Its a serious issue parents are creating these days leading to even divorces of their son. Its high time to understand the intricacies.

Ye video viral hona chahiye, taki sab parents ka dimag khule

Your family is so lucky and mostly your daughter in law 😅। You are so genius 💖🙏। काश आपकी जैसी सोच हर इंसान (सास, ससुर) की हो जाए तो कोई बहू जल कर , या सब्दो के जाल में घुट कर ना मरे 😢😢।

Wonderful !! Am a single senior citizen and I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your sermon.

"Papa ke to rishtedar jyada important hote nahi hei vaise"...😅😅😅 So true.

I have already implemented the same in my life. Me n my husband had always decided to jiyo n jeene doh. Very good piece of advice/suggestion. U have explained it very practically. We n our beta n Bahu are very happy. God bless all to take the advice/suggestion in a positive way❤❤❤❤❤

Adjust kerna achchi baat hai Maa baap bachho ko unke hisab se rahne de Khud apne hisab se rahe No problem

Sir You have voiced real truth of life. आपकी बातें बाबाओं के प्रवचनों से सौ गुना अच्छी और जीवन को वास्तविक अच्छाई देने वालीं हैं।

बहुत ही सुंदर और सच्ची आंखैं खोलने वाली और परिवार में सामंजस्य स्थापित करने वाली विडियो थी। आपको बहुत बहुत धन्यवाद। 🙏

Full with wisdom. Very rightly said

Thanks, this was very helpful

Thank you for giving such sound advice. I would like to share, I'm a Parsi and in our marraiges it is mandatory for a boy to have his own flat. Otherwise the couple waits till they can afford one on rent, only then they marry. It is looked down upon in the community if the newly wed are living with the boys or girls parents. In fact in Mumbai, if a couple is to get married and don't have a flat, Parsi Panchayat will provide on the condition that the date of the wedding is fixed and the boys parents do not have more than one house.

Lot of awkwardness in relationships can be avoided if your advice is followed 👍

100 % true . I appreciate, not only bahu but also Sasu wants privacy....well said bhai

While the points you mentioned are very practical and should be discussed further. I would like to mention points where in laws are like a boon. Though it all depends on their thinking and mindset. 1) when a couple has baby and both are working their grand parents are the best persons to take care of baby. You can say that you can hire someone but remember the love which grand parents can give is unmatched. They will be more than happy to help. A child who spends is childhood among grandparents becomes a very good human being. Again this all depends on mindset and thinking of parents. 2) when couple have a job so there are many things where you need external help, when you are sick, when you need some guidance, when you just feel the need of your close ones, household chores can be easily managed with their help. 3) A parent works tirelessly to provide us everything in their capacity with just one hope that when their kid grow up they can cherish moments of joy with them and see their grand children. On basis of being practical we might deprive them of this joy. I know point number 3 depends totally on the parent as they should not hope for these things if they can not adapt new age thinking and being flexible. Still I have stated this point as they feel this.

Outstanding advice and can't relate much more. Being an emotional guy I did this and paid heavily for this. My parents and my in laws were very loveable to me so I decided to quit my job to stay with them as my wife are three sisters only. So, I came to my hometown so that I can take care of both the families.😁 And started business with my sasurji. Uske baad jeevan mai jo hua h na sir kya hi batau 😁😁😁 Izzat 0 business 0 stress 100%. Abhi final jaake akal aai h. Moving to a new location soon. But on serious note, small mistake can cost you a lot. Big salute to you sir for guiding old and Young generations together.

I am so impressed that someone brought this topic. I am living in join family since 30 years. The situation started just a week after that they lost respect in my eyes and I never got love from them. We are just frustrated living bodies in the same house!!!

Excellent advice thanks

True sir married life to enjoy hoti h nhi hai sath रहने से बस पूरी लाइफ adjustment h rehta hai

I lived with my in-laws but intuitively I knew that I don't want to live with my daughter in law so that she doesn't hate me 😊 Your video solved my dilemma 🙏

I wish I had father like you. Your mind is way younger and refreshed than most of younger people like me

Very valuable suggestions. Thank U Sangwan ji many many times.

Thank you so much for this advice

My MIL had Cancer before I got married. Before my marriage, they were living separately as my husband was studying. After marriage, they moved in with us. The initial days were fine, but later my FIL moved out to a different city for his job because the cost of cancer treatment was really high. Me and my husband both work in IT, but insurance was not sufficient for the treatment. My sister-in-law lives in the same city and used to come every weekend for 2 days to stay with us with her 3 young kids. She will sleep in our bedroom the entire weekend. When she would leave on Sunday night, my house would be a mess. The first 18 months of my marriage were really bad. Most weekends in hospitals for chemo sessions. My SIL would say that she is coming to visit her mom, but all she did the whole weekend was watching TV. I'll take care of the kids which I loved. But it was all so overwhelming for me. My husband's family eats so unhealthy, i started putting on weight. My mental health was deteriorating. Even my husband was not comfortable with her coming every weekend(literally each weekend without a break). We had to tell her finally that she should come on alternate weekends. We need some time on weekends. Now everything is fine, but I am never getting back those initial years of my marriage. Currently my FIL lives with us. My parents live in a different city alone.

Sir married just 5 months before. Though it's love marriage accepted by both parents but now I m also feeling privacy, relatives (specially husband's three sisters and their children frequent arriving) and spce issue. I m a working woman. Most of the time I remain tired in my week off time. Follow all rituals like Sir pr bado k samne dupatta rakhna etc bt in spite of compromising my SAASU maa always complain that she always wakes up late, don't do all household chore effectively. I always think that when we will be capable for building a big house on this land and when these type of person and relative will mend their mind set. I m a government employee but my husband, my own parents and these relative will not be ready to leave separately till the new building is ready which will be in approx next 5 years as per our calculation. I m glad to see ur videos, subscribed ur channel. This is really a heart touching content.

Is insan ki mind me bas ek hi type sash or sashur hai.. is ne sash sasur ko sirf demanding hi dekha hai.. corporate karte huye sash sasur nahi dekha.. mere ghar me ye 5 reason hi nahi hai.. mere mummy papa dono khana bhi bana ke dete .. bhabhi first day se t shirt trouser me rehti hai mehmano ke samne bhi phir bhi usko lagta hai mere parents pareshan karte hai or sath nahi rehna chahti

It totally depends on sanskar how parents grow their children. Many selfish parents brainwash their children saying don't leave your spouse alone, keep control over your spouse to rule. It's a western way of thinking that once a child attains twelve years of age leave them separately. But nowadays even western are thinking of joint establishment for happiness, amicable atmosphere and maintain a decorum of leaving together. They even think of adopting elderly people and vice versa. What you said is one part of the society. There are young couples as well as old couples who still stays together and not only enjoying but they feel happiness for selfless devotion.

In this situation for more than 2 years....ek ek word sahi hai. Thanks to your video I got my answer. Thanks a lot sir.

Sir mai kya batau....aap ki soch aur explanation....aap ne mera pura 22 years ki dissatisfied married life ko 21.06 mnts me batadiya. Aap ko bohot bohot dil se dhanyavad .

Very useful, practical tips thank you so much

Zabardast sir, I always thought that. I live in US and I noticed white grandparents live close by their son or daughter. They are used to pick kids from school and children always show so happiness to see their grandparents. Couple helps their parents in need. Very practical advice and important for desi families.

My parents contributed to the down-payment of buying of my first flat. Yet I chose to live with my parents after marriage with my wife. My parents tried to convince me to move out and live in the flat separately with my wife that my parents and I had bought but I was an idiot, thinking I'd earn rent from that other flat. It is only due to my mother's efforts and later my wife's efforts also that we all could live in that house for 1.5 years. Despite my parents guiding me based on their life experiences I never listened and ended up not enjoying the initial years of my married life. Also I really didn't earn much from rent (the emi was 3 times the rent), and like he said in the video, the bigger cost is one's peace of mind.

I was looking in the comments section atleast for one comment, which would be like, my in laws took care of the house when I went to work, they raised my kids. I'm actually surprised, there's none. You nailed it sir. Distance and privacy are important for a healthy relationship. Firstly, it takes so much effort for the couple to adjust with each other. It's really unreasonable to expect a girl to adjust with an entire family in a fully functional and rigid home. She will have to live like a doormat, if her views are not considered. The most important point which even I belive strongly is that let the couple live independently, let them have their space and meet you once in a while and think of it positively, instead of saying that the girl took away the boy. When you get old, they will respect you for how considerate you have been. They will be helpful to you. Instead of understanding this point, people want to have the son and daughter in law live with them, control and torture her and then expect her to take care of them when they get old and weak. Isn't she a human? Does her heart not break?

Great 👍 thanks so much

Sir sadar pranam Aapnae bahut hee achha video banaya hai yeh eyeopener hai sach mein bahut hee logical baat Kari hai aapnae bahut samajhdari sae bilkul sahi analysis Kiya hai everyone should be given a space live and let everyone live his her life life is short just make it easy to live for yourself and for everyone don't expect much be confident and feel proud to handle every situation pay attention to you r health pray to God and be thankful always that v r alive and contribute to society animals and people around u irrespective of whether u r getting some things in return our good deeds increase our good kaarmik account To give a good life to our children is our duty and responsibility and be reasonable in allocation of you r money to them becoz once u need it they will be miser so. Enjoy life sir u r genius Thank you so much from d core of my heart and I request all. People plz plz plz listen this video carefully and apply it in your life🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏millions of thanka

I am 50 & couldn't stop laughing all through the video. Great analysis❤

Nice one, very sensible also.👌 People forget that when the bride comes into her 'sasural', she is a stranger. She doesn't really love anyone there. But society puts tremendous pressure on her to behave in a certain way. It is wrong, and we should change that.

Thank you for this video

Bujurg Maa-Baap ko 65-70 ki umara me akele nahi chhod sakte. Thodi saving kam karenge. Jivan me itna adjustment kiya hai Maa-Baap K liye 10-20 saal aur kar lenge.

पहली बार किसी को इस issue को address करते हुए देखा। 👌👌

We are 4 generations living under one roof uncle ji 😂.I got your point and it's on point but sometimes you just don't have an option SADLY

आदरणीय सर, आपकी बात सुन कर तबियत हरी हो गईं अपने एकदम सच्चाई बयान की हैं हमें ही सोचना हैं मेरी उम्र 59 चल रही हैं,आपका स्टाइल जबरदस्त आपकी स्माइल बेहद अच्छी हैं आपको सलाम 🫡🫡 प्रीतम सिंह आर्य वरिष्ठ SBI बैंक अधिकारी देहरादून

That means parents duty is upto giving birth nurturing them educate them after facing so many challenges and doing sacrifices When patent is st the verge of child then he should look for outer support as children looking for privacy 😮

Soo on point! Thank you for bringing this up! I suffered a lot because of staying with inlaws..n after sometime asked my husband to get separated. Everyone should understand this

I agree totally. Even when i got married and shifted to Mumbai, it's humid and still i couldn't wear comfortable clothes just because we were staying with in-laws. Hated that period like anything.

AMAZING video 👌 Thanks

All points are real. Thanks sir.

I live in Chennai. Here many families follow your ideology. Two houses in same area or its two flats in one building or housing society. Ideology in south is far most matured than in the rest of India.

Totally agree. Why don't people realise this sooner. I kept on saying this but no one heard me, hope now this video will help someone. My life is gone by......sadly... Regards, Parin

Finally somebody spoke truth!!! We need more creators like you. I am bachelor, this is the major reason I am afraid of marrying. I understand I need to serve my spouse's parents as well but initially it's very uncomfortable.

My father has a huge villa in a half acres plot but soon after my marriage he has given me money to buy a duplex flat and asked me to setup a different house with my wife. I now understand my father's logic.

50-70 tak saans bahu ki seva karti hai 🤦‍♀️... True specially those who are kind hearted. 😟

Brilliant!! High time such talks came out in the open!! Indian society needs to hear this.

I am extremely happy to your nice advise.

Thank you so much Sir for this mind- blowing video. If son's parents live alone they get all the sympathy from the society but if bahu' s parents live alone because they have daughters only the society says 'beti to paraya dhan hai' . There should not be any difference between a son and a daughter then why bahus are forced to live with their in laws in the name of joint family system? Bahus should be given the right to decide where do they want to live just like the son.

No one understood when I said these things almost 30 years back... almost felt like I was going insane....this is so gratifying that someone is addressing the elephant in the room finally.

100 percent, correct. You have told me my life story. Thankyou dear.

Dear sir Sabse samaj dari aur practical baate aapne kari hai 👍👍👍 Quality life jini hai toh ye baato per zarur se sochna chahiye Rishte hamesha acche rahenge aur pyaar bhi bana rahega

ITS A MUST RITUAL IN MY FAMILY SINCE GENERATIONS THAT ONCE A GUYS GETS MARRIED HE HAS TO MOVE TO NEW HOUSE (EITHER RENT OR BUY NEW ONE) ELSE HE'S GETS THE TAG OF NALAYAK, NIKAMMA ETC. I'M FROM KARNATAKA. THE REASON FOR THAT IT SHOWS SELF-RESPECT, SELF-ESTEEM PLUS THE NEW COUPLE SHOULD LEARN CERTAIN THINGS ON THEIR OWN WHICH IS VERY GOOD FOR FUTURE

घेंट में लट्ठ मतलब, जबरदस्ती छोटी छोटी बातों पर कुछ न कुछ बोलते रहना, बोलते रहना।😊😊

Loved this video. Very practical

Itna acha vudeo hai. I totally agree with you . All the points are so correct. Mai toh pakka apne bhu bete ko alag ghar hi dugu.

This is much needed advice. This video should be taught as a curriculum. Really appreciate your effort in bringing out these different scenarios. This might not always be true, but when it is, it can break relationships in a matter of minutes.

What an amazing video. I'm so glad someone has brought this up. My marriage got ruined for this reason. My only ask in the marriage was to move out to a house near by so that i could get some time and space away from interfering in laws but at the same time tend to them if they needed anything. But the Indian mentality is so flawed. They broke the marriage but did not push the son to move out of the house. They bring home a girl and then mis treat her. Most Indian men are brought up as such mamas boys. They are so dependent and incapable of doing anything on their own. I really wish this starts to change. So that they start treating us as an equal in a relationship instead of a subservient.

Very nice so logical and humane

Great 👍 chachaji , you are very true 👍. 100 percent real 💯 👏

Mind blowing video sir! My MIL generally lives separate, we try to make it work. But in our 7 years of marriage, we have only had fights between us due to her whenever she visits. During initial days of our marriage she even came and lived with us in 1BHK! Her every visit ends with more bitterness in her heart towards me and thus, vice versa too. I am blamed even if she has an argument with her own son! Plus, the diplomacy and differentiation between me and my SIL! They just want a DIL who is good enough and independent to brag about in the society but they can’t accept the fact that we work equally hard (sometimes even more) as their son does. Sad but true!

First time I hv seen such a great vdo....being a Bahu can relate myself to every sentence....Can still recall what great pain n suffering I went through ....

Great Video. Thank you for posting.

This is the best piece of advice I have come to know..and the way you have explained it is really marvellous

I'm 19 , but i found out very important lesson of life .

I wish..all Men understand like you do Sir. The root cause is most men think they have to take care of their parents... At the cost of ruining their married life. Yes.. In today's time.. With less space and time... It's better all live in their own place.. Less interference.. More peace.

Very true Thanks for guiding 👏👏👏👏👏

Very practical.

Really loved your practical approach and advise Sir!!! just scrolled through the comments section and everyone is praising and thanking you, which means almost every household is facing these issues, but no one is ready to speak it out and loud ye bolke ki "family issue hai ghar ke bhar nahi jani chaiye". I hope a lot of elders go across through your video, but surely, it's a learning for me and will implement in my future!!!

It is a very good advice. The elderly in Kerala mostly do not mind their sons having their own establishment. Being a matriarchal society in fact the parents are more attached to girls . I am 65, my husband is 70 we stay on our own, we have the freedom to pursue our spiritual inclinations and are totally satisfied with our present routine.

Sangwan Sir You hv hit the bulls eye. A very practical approach

Mere papa ne to me beti hu fir bhi mujhe alag ghar rehne ke liye diya hai abhi me aur mere pati aram se rehte hai weekend pe hum mere sasural jate hai ab sab shanti hai sab khush hai koi zagda hi nhi sab alag jite hai