Dr. Peterson explains how we maintain our sanity and why it is so difficult to do alone.
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➤➤Speaker:
Jordan Peterson
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Biblical Series VI: The Psychology of the Flood
• Lecture: Biblical Seri...
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Powerful Life Advice | Powerful Wisdom
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➤➤Transcript (Partial):
It’s unbelievable the degree to which our sanity depends on a functioning sociological structure. And here’s why: Well first of all, you kind of need to know what to do every day. You have to have a routine, because you’re an animal. You know, if you have a dog or a cat-dogs are a really good example of this. Dogs like routine. They like to be walked the number of times a day that they’re supposed to be walked. And they get quite sick, very rapidly, if you don’t routinize their days. Children are exactly the same way. Now you can overdo it, right, but still, you know, you need to know approximately when you should get up. It should be approximately the same every day. You need to know approximately when you’re going to eat; you need to know what you’re going to eat; you need to know who you’re going to eat with; you need to know where to buy your food.
It’s like 80 percent of your life-70 percent of your life, something like that, consists of those things that you do every single day, that you repeat. And those are often the things that people think about as the trivial elements of their life, but one of the things I would like to point out, if you do the mathematics-I did this with a client of mine who was having a hard time putting his child to bed. They were having a fight every night. And I knew by that time that the studies indicate that most parents only spend 20 minutes per day of one-on-one time with their child. Now, the reason for that is that people are busy, and it’s actually not that easy to parse out 20 minutes of one-on-one time. It’s a lot bloody more time than you think. But that’s all there is: 20 minutes. He’s spending like 40 minutes a day fighting with his kid, trying to get the kid to go to bed. And that’s not very entertaining. You know, you think, well, he’s just having a scrap with the kid about going to bed but it’s no, no-if it happens every day, it’s a catastrophe. So you do the math. So we’ll say five hours a week for the sake of argument, just to keep it simple. It’s 20 hours a month. It’s 240 hours a year. That’s six 40-hour work weeks. So that guy was basically spending a month and a half of work weeks doing absolutely nothing but having a wretched time fighting with his son, trying to get him to go to bed. Horrible. Right, that’s just way too much time to spend doing something like that if you want to actually have a positive relationship with someone because it’s just too-it’s just too punishing.
Well, so you need structure, you need predictability, and you need more of it than you think, just to keep you sane. Now if you’re lucky-you can deviate five percent from the norm, or ten percent from the norm, or something like that-carefully and cautiously, as long as the rest of you is all well ordered in a normative manner. You might be able to get away with that, and you might be able to sustain it across time. And people might be able to tolerate you if you do it. Or maybe you’ll get really lucky and you happen to be creative but reasonably well put-together, and people will actually be happy that there’s something idiosyncratic and unique about you. But even under those circumstances, mostly what you want is to have a routine that’s disciplined-that’s predictable-and bloody well stick to it. You’re going to be way healthier, and happier, and saner if you do that.
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