I was dead when it said “knife only run, no damage” that shit will kill resident evil players
@clausberg83953 жыл бұрын
you died! so you one of them now a Zombie.
@calvingreene903 жыл бұрын
In all fairness it was slow zombies.
@julonkrutor46493 жыл бұрын
Others: Zombies, we are so dead! Every normal, healthy human: This is where the fun starts. How much do i need to pay?
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
shoot em in the head , they stay dead
@zyanidwarfare56342 жыл бұрын
I feel my ideal zombie slaying weapon is what’s known loosely as a “bone breaker” It’s effectively a blade with no edge, just a wedge strong enough to withstand impact with armor and flesh and bone, and it doesn’t cut, it smashes and breaks. Because it has a heavy weight on the end like a mace, and when swung all of that force and weight is focused into the thin point along the wedge causing a very powerful impact on a small area, breaking bones. So yeah, smash and dash
@enclaveofficerz3245 Жыл бұрын
@@zyanidwarfare5634 This is where the Fun begins!
@ravenouself4181 Жыл бұрын
@@zyanidwarfare5634 I would say that an even more effective weapon would be a simple metal rod. No need to worry about aligning the blade. Just smash and dash. Having a weight on the end wouldn't really be necessary as Zombies have more brittle bones than non-Zombies. The only reason for a weight would be to pull off some fancy moves.
@Messywildcat783 жыл бұрын
Half of Earth left the next day in search of the scourge.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
only half?
@dantreadwell74213 жыл бұрын
Well, someone needs to hold the fort. . .
@neosildrake3 жыл бұрын
@@AgroSquerril And then there are the children, infirm, pregnant and elderly on top of essential workers. So it's probably more like only 1/3 of the population at max.
@artbrann3 жыл бұрын
@@AgroSquerril no vacation time left, gotta wait till next year/cycle/whatever :(
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
@@artbrann a working holiday
@curiousangel63213 жыл бұрын
Lol could you imagine the jealously of other humans when the news of zombies reached Earth. Laura would have a book and movie deal by the end of the week.
@arakheno40513 жыл бұрын
Not to mention all the "hunting parties" .. looking for infected colonies. Not to mention "new zombie" games.
@xenoplayspl62393 жыл бұрын
@@arakheno4051 Zombie Hunters - The new and exciting hunting show coming in the next five Standart Cycles
@TheFoxfiend2 жыл бұрын
not to mention the esteemed award of "knife only, no damage". Only a small amount of well trained people would go for that.
@USS_Grey_Ghost Жыл бұрын
Kill Zombies as a family bonding trip
@Kualinar Жыл бұрын
We had Tomb Raider. Now, we have Zombies Raider.
@chrisdefresne32353 жыл бұрын
Gotta love the contingency plans of people. Vamps? Check. Werewolves? Check. Zombies? Booyah!
@danijelandroid2 жыл бұрын
I would have skipped vamps and werewolves and gone straight to zombies.
@nexusdrop78632 жыл бұрын
I know right? I would have thought an omni kit rather than specialized but humans are space orcs.
@gmailquinn2 жыл бұрын
Xenos: we have plans for 5 of them
@Hellsong8911 ай бұрын
@@danijelandroid Both are faster than zeds, so might go for those before you learn more about the pests in question.. Though i would go with general kit with added sub kits based on treat and location. Melee cutting weapon, with enough weight to work some blunt damage, handgun and rifle or shotgun depending on ranges. Just choose magazines based on treat or use general purpose silver jackets with underlaying copper jacket. Effect should be same regardless of the target, though for wamps you need semiauto shotgun with pump mechanism to load different charges when need be or maybe just run with what ever keltech boys have dreamed after doing space mushrooms and meth.
@OurOphis3 жыл бұрын
If the galaxy advertised Space Zombie killing attractions to humans alot of us will come rushing with out zombie blood hungry
@ts256793 жыл бұрын
Who goes straight to vampires? You always start with "Is it zombies?" whilst trying to keep the hope out of your voice so people don't think you're awful.
@jacobwerner2743 жыл бұрын
She had optimism
@henrypaleveda77603 жыл бұрын
While I agree, some people might just ask for what they want to fight first, such is Lara's case.
@chrisdufresne93592 жыл бұрын
My first question would have been "Xenomorphs?".
@jameson12392 жыл бұрын
It depends really vampires are much harder to fight then zombies She was probably trying to rule out the difficult ones first
@Nyghtking2 жыл бұрын
Zombies are like nazis in video games, you can kill them without remorse because there humanity was forfeit a long time ago.
@properfunny3 жыл бұрын
I can almost feel the disappointment in finding out it was only zombies in the first story. I think after that incident we probably shared our hypothetical situations with our allies and then made sure they would be ready. Personally I would try an Ash run, Groovy.
@t.j.cornett74953 жыл бұрын
And this is my boomstick!
@murphycunningham24653 жыл бұрын
@@t.j.cornett7495 grovy
@PoldaranOfDalaran2 жыл бұрын
Telling a human that there are zombies outside is probably the best gift you could ever give them.
@bradwolf07 Жыл бұрын
I love that the human had several contingency boxes for Vampires, Werewolves, and Zombies amongst others. I'm honestly a bit proud
@GunnyStilgar3 жыл бұрын
Man, the speed run challenges in the future aren't fucking around.
@Monster_Ink3 жыл бұрын
She asked for a medal (achievement) that's basically a challenge... Hell yeah! XD
@monstergeek36113 жыл бұрын
alien : we don't fear the night human : are you sure ?
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
Human : Here , hold this Alien : Is..... that a bear Human : yes and walks away
@henrypaleveda77603 жыл бұрын
human: you should
@georgeclueney44192 жыл бұрын
@@AgroSquerril About that beer you owe me :)
@ianhogben34722 жыл бұрын
Good we've never been in it
@omartian55943 жыл бұрын
Kinda surprised Laura did not ask for zombie kill of the week on her medal
@papasult112 жыл бұрын
"I'm jealous!!!" -Possibly every human when heard about these Zombies
@robertshank97783 жыл бұрын
That first one 🤣🤣🤣... My eldest daughter just graduated 20 mins ago... I feel so old but your stories have eased that 🤣... For the Algorithm...
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm , and good luck to your daughter
@peekakuchu68783 жыл бұрын
Lol how you run through all the possible monsters haha Our armeggedon survival kits
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
be prepared , they said
@royalcomputer37803 жыл бұрын
Keep your faith in god, but keep your powder dry
@taitano123 жыл бұрын
Half a dozen shamblers? In the confined space of a space ship? Wish I was Laura. I'm getting open heart surgery in the next couple of weeks and suffer from sleep apnea; I get winded walking across Walmart. Give me a machete and/or hammer and even a disabled geek like me could handle this. Now, runners? That's a challenge - at least until I recover from my heart surgery. They tend to be a bit smarter and get into the ductwork.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
good luck with the pump maintenance
@Kualinar Жыл бұрын
Have you recovered well ? I really hole that you did.
@taitano12 Жыл бұрын
Oh yeah. I'm fine now. I think I can handle some runners these days.
@Kualinar Жыл бұрын
@@taitano12 Excellent.
@neosildrake2 жыл бұрын
There's this other story, where an alien race has a zombie infestation on their planet and none of their allies want to help them. Then a ship of humans shows up and ask if this is the planet with the Zombies.
@xDxD-hm5vt2 жыл бұрын
What is the name, and where can i find it?
@neosildrake2 жыл бұрын
@@xDxD-hm5vt I forgot, but I think Aggro Squerril did narrate it.
@xDxD-hm5vt2 жыл бұрын
@@neosildrake Okay, thanks.
@spookywoods Жыл бұрын
I remember that story wasn't it like a bunch of space rednecks that first showed up
@ObservingLibertarian3 жыл бұрын
9:23 Gamer unironically rises up, earns protier leet achieve, entire league jelly - went looking to up the score, poor General spent rest of his career handing out titles he didn't understand, lulz.
@calvingreene903 жыл бұрын
It appears it took a while to gather together enough vampires for a planetary conquest.
@erushi55032 жыл бұрын
I love how Laura have like a stash of items for any situation ahahahaha
Space orcs vs space zombies.... clean up in station corridor 5 - 12...
@SpiritWolf2093 жыл бұрын
Laura is a woman after my own heart.
@henrypaleveda77603 жыл бұрын
yours and mine both
@FedralBI3 жыл бұрын
For the Slayers who are prepared for every contingency.
@SpitfiretheCat163 жыл бұрын
extremely disappointed it didn't also say "any%" on it
@deadlock343 жыл бұрын
It said she cleared the whole station. That would be 100%.
@theredknight37363 жыл бұрын
@@deadlock34 100%: Knife only run, no damage. time: 1 hr, 34 min, 22 sec.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
that would make for a big medal
@SpitfiretheCat163 жыл бұрын
@@deadlock34 knife only damageless s rank all secrets
@henrypaleveda77603 жыл бұрын
preparedness is next to godliness and prep-time can kill anything
@Jason-sm4oc3 жыл бұрын
Proper prior prep prevents piss poor performance.
@henrypaleveda77603 жыл бұрын
@@Jason-sm4oc the 7 Ps of success.
@ornu013 жыл бұрын
On that day, a message was sent to all of human space. It consisted of two words. Space. Zombies. The Scourge ended the next month.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
lol yup
@JeRefuseDeBienPrononcerBaleine3 жыл бұрын
To the sadness of most of humanity and the laughter of the elder as they said "You broke your toy too quickly".
@ornu013 жыл бұрын
@@JeRefuseDeBienPrononcerBaleine If they did it before, we can do it again.
@JeRefuseDeBienPrononcerBaleine3 жыл бұрын
@@ornu01 Ya but there is the problem of killing billions if sentient to get the fun back. That and they're not retarded, they'll understand to use boomstick to contain the infection next time.
@ornu013 жыл бұрын
@@JeRefuseDeBienPrononcerBaleine Raise non sentients to be carriers then, and if the other xenos come to understand the joy of zombie hunting, we can start charging them for the pleasure.
@alexs58143 жыл бұрын
That caded has life long bragging rights now. all the other humans will be soooo jealous!
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
yup
@dantreadwell74213 жыл бұрын
Achievement unlocked
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
0.00000000000000000001% of players have unlocked this achievement
@____________8382 жыл бұрын
I fully expected the meds to state: “Zombie Slayer”
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
lol
@Jason-sm4oc3 жыл бұрын
Someone is going to have to protect the scourge from complete extermination because if the rest of earth finds out there are none left for them they sure as hell are going to invent some more and these won't be your average galactic zombies, they will be deathworld zombies.
@siyavuyafamatye380 Жыл бұрын
Genetically modified alien animals then turned into zombies designed for hunting on a zombie planet created for zombie hunting now that sounds cool
@xenther6854 Жыл бұрын
@@siyavuyafamatye380 undead xenomorphs?
@siyavuyafamatye380 Жыл бұрын
@@xenther6854 exactly but i don't know what being undead will do to their speed.
@grogvaughan5649 Жыл бұрын
"Our enemies have learned to fear the darkness for the night is ours. We Own The Night!" 2nd Armored Division, Aviation Brigade "Hell's Wings"
@yomogami45619 ай бұрын
two good stories but the first is such a level of awesome sauce. the military really should have a couple zombie badges [just in case] thanks for the narration
@barelyasurvivor1257 Жыл бұрын
Ok time to pull out the Emergency Zombie Kit Laura gets excited at the thought of killing Zombies
@najroe Жыл бұрын
something to show my appreciation and to satisfy the AlGoRiIThM
@eleethtahgra71822 жыл бұрын
I wonder whats the contingency plan for chtulhu.....
@DailyBasicG3 жыл бұрын
Paused to write this, are there more humans vs space zombies?
@Sen812222 жыл бұрын
I hope so
@spookywoods Жыл бұрын
Yes, a whole colony planet gets infected and no allied will come to help.....enter human rednecks for the best damn fun in the galaxy....cant remember title bit it is an agro story, you might have to hunt for it but it is on here
@gmailquinn2 жыл бұрын
First story: best of friends, worst of enemies. Your choice
@GamingWithUncleJon3 жыл бұрын
How many boxes does Laura have?
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
as many as it takes
@timothyswanson87733 жыл бұрын
Zombie, werewolf, vampire, probably mummy, nanite or robot Frankensteins, Xenomorphs, ghosts, and Hell.
@theredknight37363 жыл бұрын
@@timothyswanson8773 Hell is just a Chainsaw and and a double barrel shotgun
@graph47943 жыл бұрын
@@theredknight3736 can't forget the BFG 9000
@shamdonnosnikta95703 жыл бұрын
@@theredknight3736 And the Seraph Armor.
@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH3 жыл бұрын
For the Squerril
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
For The Algorithm
@reasonablehiccups47923 жыл бұрын
For Argo for the algorithm
@Jason-sm4oc3 жыл бұрын
For the fun of it
@murphycunningham24653 жыл бұрын
Zed run blade only
@allenmorgan10072 жыл бұрын
For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!
@ravenouself4181 Жыл бұрын
Aliens: Oh shit, we are about to die. This is hell! Humans: Oh, FUN! *Insert Kenpachi Zaraki grin here* Aliens: Wot? *5 minutes later* Aliens: WOT!? Edit: Humans: EZ
@ianhogben34722 жыл бұрын
Welcome to the long night xeno It is not surprising you do not fear the night We've never been in it
@Navy89SEALs3 жыл бұрын
Knives only
@Jason-sm4oc3 жыл бұрын
100% cleared, no damage taken... that's the way to do it!
@reasonablehiccups47923 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@Mad_Overseer3 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm!
@Jason-sm4oc3 жыл бұрын
For the Zombles For the Derek For Mr Squerril Forty Algorithms For the algebra
@ironworksdragon68433 жыл бұрын
Bob the dragon
@Jason-sm4oc3 жыл бұрын
For the Dragon
@Germlin2 жыл бұрын
Bob the dragon
@gasydevil6229 Жыл бұрын
I would've told the general to inform other humans and especially the gaming companies.
@Mad_Overseer3 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm!
@Jason-sm4oc3 жыл бұрын
Five words for the algorithm'
@TheRingerHasAChurchbell2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm!!!
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@calvingreene903 жыл бұрын
I admit I would have used a gun.
@elfeater17602 жыл бұрын
For the Zombie Algorithm11!
@AgroSquerril2 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@peterburner64863 жыл бұрын
FtA
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
For The Algorithm
@reasonablehiccups47923 жыл бұрын
FOR the ALGORITHM
@Jason-sm4oc3 жыл бұрын
Seven words written to please the algorithm
@Kirsten29332 жыл бұрын
like 873
@merlinwizard1000 Жыл бұрын
160th, 27 June 2023
@manwiththeplan3002 жыл бұрын
If the humans in this story wasn't I have a giant computer owned by Cthulhu aliens and they keep on trying to debuff the human beings because they're trying to balance the game all they did was make human beings the magic carp of their simulation because human beings are designed to be tool builders we make things where the mechanics programmers gearheads detectives of the universe what the aliens did was literally took a weapon in nature gave us the ability to use advanced stuff because we built up to that I always thought that the aliens reverse engineered some technology or something from a wreckage or something and alter their society with it and then they reached to the stars and then they start subjugating all the other races because they are retards while human being started off with banging two rocks together we eventually learned how to make arrowheads and then we eventually learned how to make Spears and eventually we learned this this this this and this and this that built that built to something else that built us something else that built to something else and then it branched out and then it built all those things on each branch and those branches branched out and so forth and so on etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc. We literally have more technology than the aliens ever had because we make things we develop things we have something called r&d department where it's basically just testing.