Secrets Your Ex Doesn’t Want You To Know

Рет қаралды 16,664

Күн бұрын

In this video, Clay Andrews discusses 5 secrets your ex doesn't want you to know.
Connect and Commit: modernlove.life/connect-and-c...
==========================
Work with me:
Connect and Commit: modernlove.life/connect-and-c...
What to say to turn potentially devastating situations with your ex into opportunities for connection
Ex Solution Program: modernlove.life/esp
Navigate your ex’s emotional world to build a stronger connection and inspire commitment for lasting love
Compatibility Code: modernlove.life/cc
Overcome the pain of your breakup to build a new possibility for love with your ex or with someone new
Coaching: modernlove.life/coaching
Work with us to develop a custom solution for your current situation
==========================
Follow me:
Email newsletter: modernlove.life/newsletter/
KZfaq Subscribe: kzfaq.info...
Amazon: www.amazon.com/Clay-Andrews/e...
Facebook: / modernlovelife
iTunes Podcast: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/c...
==========================
In this video, we will be discussing the secret your ex doesn't want you to know and how you can use this knowledge to help you get back together with your ex. These are more than just signs that your ex doesn't want you back or does want you back.
This is specifically about things that your ex tries to hide from you or actively conceals from you. Not because they are necessarily trying to keep anything from you, but because they are trying to protect themselves and their own identity that they hold of themselves.
If you can understand your ex emotionally, it puts you in a better place to navigate their emotional world so that the two of you can get back together. Essentially what you are going to be doing is creating a clear channel of communication for the two of you to talk and possibly even getting back together down the road.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.

Пікірлер: 83

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching this video. I hope you're doing well out there. I know that there's been so much turmoil this year, and gong through a breakup on top of all of that is probably the last thing you wanted for 2020. Just take a deep breath, and remind yourself that all you can really do is take responsibility for the things that you can change and do your best to find peace with the things that are out of your control. One way or another, we'll all get through these crazy times we're living through.

@Alex-mx6mu 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Clay, do you think that the ex would still sometimes wonder about what it was like to be back together etc even if they are currently in another relationship? In your experience with clients

@draco2040 4 жыл бұрын

I recommended a few people to ur videos

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Kragan. :-)

@jeremymanis2044 4 жыл бұрын

I've had a rough time with a girl I am crazy about but even when she is angry or ignores me I stay as positive as possible and for some reason I know things are gonna work out. Idk if being positive or thinking positive has any affect on them at all but it does make them see that u are not only ok but have a positive outlook even when she ignored me or visits her. Ex, the more understanding of why it has nothing to do with u as much as it does them just stay positive and idk why but I can already tell that she will see me and not my reactions or see me lose my temper or say anything to hurt them and I will win her back by really not doing anything at all just knowing it was gonna work out because it's what I wanted and the universe conspired to make it happen. 😁

@yanirobles5157 4 жыл бұрын

ive been in a relationship 20yrs but he left me for another girl whom he met in on line gaming he went to home to lur country and live together with that girl .

@loulautarot5814 4 жыл бұрын

#1 they feel guilt #2 they probably still care about you and are curious to see how you are doing #3 They want to believe they made the right choice by breaking up with you. They might create a version of you that would be worth breaking up with to make them not feel so guilty about hurting you and that they made the right choice #4 they probably doubt the break up, they aren't sure if they made the right choice in breaking up with you #5 they sometimes think about getting back together with you and what it would be like if they never broke up

@kostadrandakis5891 3 жыл бұрын

This hit the moment, I'm literally texting my ex now connecting slowly but surely, and she just revealed she thought I would hate her for life. Hinting at her guilt.

@julenerodney6584 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this

@ClayAndrews 2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome. :-)

@sexyshay17ify 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for This Video Clay It Helps A Lot!

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Glad it helped!

@davidnyro19 4 жыл бұрын

And you brought a few tears with this, mate! Good one!

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for always watching our videos, David. :-)

@cbshin9483 3 жыл бұрын

It is also very considerate video. Thanks for good video. I like #5 reason...

@ClayAndrews 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you too!

@chevy2583 4 жыл бұрын

Good video.

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it!

@MagdaleneDivine 4 жыл бұрын

He doesn't want anyone to know he doesn't brush his teeth often enough or even floss. That's the first thing....

@zazylvalderrama88 4 жыл бұрын

Well you’re right on that part, Clay... breaking up was the last thing I wanted to happen during all of this. We were together for 2 years until he decided to end it. Yeah, we had a lot of issues, but I would have wanted to work it out not just give up on each other. Said he cares about me too, but it hurt me more seeing how “at ease” he seemed during this breakup while I was the one hurting. So watching this video makes me wonder what is going through his mind about us, or if he’s just completely over it?! :/ I do enjoy watching your videos, though, helps me understand things better on a different perspective at times. :)

@zazylvalderrama88 4 жыл бұрын

I’m not understanding?!

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Zazyl, each person has their own way of handling the breakup. Other's may seem strong from the outside but might be struggling and hurting inside. So how we perceive the person externally may or may not be his true emotions. I hope you are holding on well.

@cheesepizza5118 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your amazing videos Clay. But even if he is unsure per say, if he had moved on into a relationship and it seems to be going very well already and continues to, but so did me and his last year, then why hasn't he come back romantically even after months of being apart and he has been seeing someone for a month now and he told me all about it

@claudiapurcell8687 4 жыл бұрын

Again I'm the first one... watching your valuable advices. I'm learning so much from your videos. Thank you, deeply!💐

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Wow! You're fast! Thanks so much for the kind words!

@domv5545 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Clay, I never comment on your videos, but this one really resonated allowing me to both place myself more in my ex’s shoes as well as reflect on the breakup differently. It also gives me a sense of hope as to the connection that may continue to grow. Although giving me some additional perspective on our current situation, reconnecting some months ago (very much riding the dragon or half way to the hole in recent Facebook group terms), I’m feeling lost as to how to discuss such with her, not sure how to put us both in a space to be vulnerable to communicate/acknowledge the ideas that you raise?

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Dom, first you have to raise your level of awareness and mindfulness. That is truly important. Second, timing is essential on this matter. Gauge where your ex's emotional capability to communicate and her capacity to handle vulnerabilities. Be a good observant and you have to work on communication skills as well. We cover all of these in-depth inside the Ex Solution Program course, especially on the Contacting Your Ex lesson. :-)

@domv5545 4 жыл бұрын

Clay Andrews Thanks Clay, appreciative of your advice, as combined with your current fb program I recognise the value of such guidance. I have been focusing on creating genuine and positive engagement and focusing on the moment during all our interactions. It has been a great couple of weeks in particular, talking regularly, texting and planning to see eachother next week, feeling a genuine connection starting to build again, but find sometimes the BS machine can hijack my thinking a little. That said I will continue to be patient and focus on my attentiveness and communication, while thanks too for the suggestion of the course, Dom

@bonniebeck4068 4 жыл бұрын

#5..made me cry..😢

@juliakathryn5098 4 жыл бұрын

Me too...

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way. I hope you are holding on well.

@bonniebeck4068 4 жыл бұрын

Still calls everyday..but he can't bring himself to come back..makes no sense..why he wants to stay in touch with me..

@jamesg2609 4 жыл бұрын

I hope she thinks about me after leaving me 8 months ago after a 17 relationship.

@koreawonderskim5597 4 жыл бұрын

Coach clay now it’s clarify me that the first time they come is riding the dragon bec after they said they want to break up I just don’t do anything and now we’re almost a month seeing each other but nobody’s bringing about our relationship status now”I knew we had now” but there’s was a time I think they’re in critical point or beginning again when they mentioned about what I did wrong before and why I’m only doing all the things I did now but why not when we are two together he thought those times ,he vulnerably said to me that he think I don’t want a relationship with him when I did all my mistakes.. and maybe I’m doing this all but after a few months I will be back again so he said he fear

@nicolasrodriguez3499 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks Clay. It's been 4 months. She must be pretty happy with the hillbilly that she dumped me for. I've been in No Contact ever since and I've heard nothing from her.

@AdirajNigam 4 жыл бұрын

Same here Nicolas. Its been 4 months. I reached out twice in breaks but didn't get a reply. I feel its over. :)

@bcarey7851 4 жыл бұрын

Been a little over a month with no contact. I really think that my ex will just have to wait and see. She has a new guy but hasnt posted anything about it no pictures or anything on Facebook it's still all pictures of her and I on her page.

@palebleudot7292 4 жыл бұрын

We were together for 3 years and I thought we were going to be able to spend more time during quarantine. Didn’t think he’d breakup with me a few days after our anniversary. Now he’s found a new apartment.

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. We understand that the recent situation can cause a lot of anxiety for some. We hope that you are holding on well.

@palebleudot7292 4 жыл бұрын

Clay Andrews thanks for reaching out Clay that means a lot to me. I’ve been watching your videos ever since the breakup. And it’s all been very sound advice. He was supposed to take the cat but he keeps pushing the date further to take him from my place.

@joshhaile5529 4 жыл бұрын

Clay me and my ex girlfriend play a game on the phone together we have been broke up for almost 3 weeks. About a week ago I said good morning to everyone . She said good morning and kinda chatted it up about how I was doing how she was doing. Joins rally's the minute I start one. I say good morning and good evening to everyone all the time but she makes it a point to answer almost anything I put on the chat board. What could that mean?

@dinomorell5163 4 жыл бұрын

I'm the one who ended it but I'm the one watching these videos! smh.A year separated now but I still miss her.But we had so much to work on cause it just wasn't working.

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Dino, that's great to hear that you acknowledged the work that needs to be done. Raising one's awareness can truly be beneficial in the process. We are rooting for you. :-)

@BinaryTechnique 4 жыл бұрын

The ratio decent in the comment section...y'all should just hook up with each other 🤣👌

@johnlefevre9968 4 жыл бұрын

I was joking with my ex I told her to never cross me two days later she said she was scared of me why do you think she was so scared of me oh she broke up with me

@SpiritualBabe101 4 жыл бұрын

...that he's obsessive and fake? yes I know 😁 thanks, listening to your content now.

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching and don't forget to subscribe to our channel as well. :-)

@chillchurro9824 4 жыл бұрын

I have depression because of this break up, seeing therapist

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Hey, that's great to hear that you are seeking the help of a professional. do take care of your well-being as that is truly important. :-) Sending more positive energies on your end.

@chillchurro9824 4 жыл бұрын

Clay Andrews Thank you so much Clay! I am starting to feel better after two weeks of therapy session. I believe I can recover.

@christopherlemarchand1715 3 жыл бұрын

I wish she was doubting it but she is with someone else she told me there moving in together in the new year then there saving to go travelling in a few years she has now blocked me so we can't even talk im really struggling to cope its 2 months since she left me either for him or at least she got with him very quickly its truly heartbreaking as we spoke about marriage and children I even told her the name I wanted if I was to have a baby girl but now I feel lost and drowning I feel so pathetic 😭

@anabarron7228 3 жыл бұрын

I fucked up.. i reacted by gathering things together and moving out :( I was trying to get a reaction from him.. and he still brings it up. Even tho he bought up the divorce first. He still says you moved out! And took all your stuff! 😞 I regret alot

@ClayAndrews 3 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry hear about what happened, Ana. I understand that this must be tough for you but I hope you and your husband would be able to sit down and have a full, honest conversation to clear things out. Sending more positive energies on your end.

@ronald5341 4 жыл бұрын

Does this apply also if my ex is in a rebound relationship?

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Yes, it does,. :-)

@elizabethgillespie5284 4 жыл бұрын

Does any of this apply if your ex had a rebound relationship? He had a fling while we were still together and neglected to tell me that he had felt hopeless about our relationship and had moved on. He says he doesn't consider it cheating if our relationship was a mess. I'm waiting for an apology! But he's a genius (for real), has asperger's, and sees everything differently. (We'd been together two years but lived two hours apart.) His fling moved far away after a couple of months and neither seemed devastated over it. But he had the fun of a new lover and then the sense of loss over her leaving. I don't see where missing me would fit into that picture. Plus she was much younger... Now eight months later, he has begun to text or call me almost every night under the pretext of wanting my help with a project. Do you think any of what you say here would apply in my situation? Or would one of your courses be helpful? In fact, I'm wondering if the advanced relational skills might be useful for many types of relationships, not just romantic...

@elizabethgillespie5284 4 жыл бұрын

@Shell Jenny I have no idea what you mean.

@whiteranger79 4 жыл бұрын

Does this apply if they don’t think you care?

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

it could still be applicable.

@toms81162 4 жыл бұрын

She is receptive to my texts and today she even helped me with an important project, and told me I can do it. I just dont know how to handle this. Should I just ask the question? Let it be until she says something? Or leave it alone? We talk weekly BTW, not everyday.

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

If you were to assess the interaction, what would be the best course of action to take? This is the type of situation that would test the Advanced Relational Skills.

@toms81162 4 жыл бұрын

@@ClayAndrews to just come out and ask, whats going on here?

@toms81162 4 жыл бұрын

@@That_Handle Result driven? I dont even know what is happening here let alone looking for results

@toms81162 4 жыл бұрын

@@ClayAndrews A question of sorts. The phone works two ways. If she doesnt mind having a conversation then what stops her from actually starting one. Seems to me she is doing the classic "I can have him anytime" stuff.

@annettemcclain347 4 жыл бұрын

Its been 8 months after break up. Is it to late to get them back with them.?????? He now lives with his rebound. Is it to late to use the program

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

it's never too late if your goal is to work on the skills that would inspire the person to have a healthy and lasting relationship.

@leaderrr7992 4 жыл бұрын

My ex seems very resentful n seems like she just wants to move on from me what does this mean?

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

The fact that you mentioned that your ex is still resentful from you is something that you have to look into. Understanding why he resents you will help you identify the areas that you have to work on as a person.

@hprandomvideos1621 4 жыл бұрын

Begging and pleading done.. shes happy right now.. do i have a chance?

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

How are you doing so far as a person after the breakup? Were you able to work on the Advanced Relational Skills? Chance will always be there but it will depend on the actions that you would take and refuse to do.

@hprandomvideos1621 4 жыл бұрын

@@ClayAndrews she unfriend me, blocked me, ignored me.. and now shes happy of her life..

@LaRueDuConsommateur 2 жыл бұрын

I've understand why she's bashing me always about m'y wrongdoings, my missings. Lmao when she reaches me out

@MagdaleneDivine 4 жыл бұрын

He'll just do some drugs and it will take care of that pesky guilt.

@tiayvette2048 4 жыл бұрын

My ex was a narcissist sooooo🙄🤷🏽‍♀️

@officialviewz6144 4 жыл бұрын

:( worst people ever they just drain you and it's just hard to get over them

@damien4v3 4 жыл бұрын

Olando Fairclough and make you feel like it was your fault that caused the breakup

@annettemcclain347 4 жыл бұрын

How long u been with them. Im 9 years into it. Thwn they broke up 8 months ago

@pualo9263 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah she's really missing me with her new guy planted fair up her...

@loosekannon2365 4 жыл бұрын

Please clay help me. My girlfriend of 6 years texted this to me. We have been broken up for about 6 months now. And I broke up with her. PLEASE HELP! You are entitled to feel however you feel I can't tell you any other way, however you have to understand the way I feel as well. I know your hope is to have a relationship as bf and gf again but we are not on the same page as far as that goes and I would love to have a FRIENDSHIP with you but it'll be one sided if you want something else other than that. I'm not exclusive with anyone yet but that can happen real soon and I just don't want you to keep "fighting" for something that's not going to happen.

@ClayAndrews 4 жыл бұрын

Hey, it seems like your ex is still at the wall of reactance phase. It sounds like there's still some negative emotions going on but I am not sure how you approached the conversation for her to have such a reply.

@loosekannon2365 4 жыл бұрын

@@ClayAndrews This is what I said. This is after she asked me how dating has been. Well thats good. To be honest. Dating has been shitty. My only goal is to be the best version of myself to be a better man for you and the boys. Regardless of our ups and downs. I haven't ever had a connection like I had with you with anyone else. I know you said I have no chance but I know your the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I will continue to keep us platonic but just wanted to be honest with you.

@shannond8029 4 жыл бұрын

Do nothing darlin. Absolutely nothing! go full NC don't be friends because that will not work for you in any way what so ever. You have to back away don't tell her just do it full NC ASAP. I'm telling ya it's the only way out of this . I'm in 4 months NC haven't heard a word but see the big picture of just how it all went down. One thing I can say is I've learned big time! take a look at The different attachment styles of people and it will open a door to your healing . I hope this helps because we deserve good love and this my friend is not that.