Seek Peace Instead of Seeking Approval

Рет қаралды 53,158

Mindah-Lee Kumar (The Enthusiastic Buddhist)

Күн бұрын

Seeking approval from others is not a recipe for finding happiness. In fact, trying to win the approval of others only batters our confidence, leads to low self-esteem and adds fuel to our mental stories. In this video I explain how seeking inner peace should be our aim instead of relying on the impermanent opinions of others. I also offer different perspectives to help us break free of our neurosis so we can stop looking for approval from others and find the inner peace and happiness we are all searching for.
CONNECT WITH ME HERE:
Membership site for more teachings and support:
members.enthusiasticbuddhist....
Articles: www.enthusiasticbuddhist.com/...
Facebook: / theenthusiasticbuddhist
Sutta used in this video:
"Panditavagga: The Wise" (Dhp VI), translated from the Pali by Acharya Buddharakkhita. Access to Insight (Legacy Edition), 30 November 2013, www.accesstoinsight.org/tipita...

Пікірлер: 102

@supremereader7614 2 жыл бұрын

"Even if we do win their approval, we'll still suffer trying to maintain that approval. Thank you for these wonderful videos 🙏

@AngelaAllen40216 8 жыл бұрын

I've meditated and listened to 6 hours of Ajahn Brahm talks today to try to "fix" what's wrong with me. (He usually helps!) But this talk hit the nail on the head!! I never thought I could learn so much from someone young enough to be my daughter. Thank you Mindah. I love your talks,

@ravisandrasekera3799 9 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for this. I was waiting for someone to acknowledge something and found out from a third party that they were waiting for me to call. After your video I realized that I was only feeding my own ego. Thanks to you extolling the Buddhist teachings I feel much better and feel that I have taken an important step. Thanks again.

@CharlesTaylor109 9 жыл бұрын

I actually left the influence of an old college friend explaining that I needed to follow my own Buddhist path seeking to be like the Buddha and accepting of myself.

@boston312 8 жыл бұрын

excellent wisdom. I feel that the American mainstream (that preaches narcissism, materialism, competition and ego) preaches the exact opposite of what is being taught in this video and hence the emotional depression.

@SonicPhonic 5 жыл бұрын

Capitalism is the American religion.

@sheilakirwan9462 3 жыл бұрын

Michael Gfroerer and consequently suffer a lot

@oiolasim 9 жыл бұрын

I really appretiace your beautiful work. I would have been a much happier tenager if I had learned this teachings.

@wisdomwizard3620 7 жыл бұрын

This applies to my situation PERFECTLY! There's a girl I've had a crush on for a long time, but I keep wanting her to love me as much as I love her, but I have to realize that she is on a different path in life than I am and I have better things to put my attention to

@sdaniels160 10 жыл бұрын

I enjoy your videos. I am a high school teacher and I play them before classes. They are a tremendous help at helping me resist reacting to student behavior.

@shirleyjones4041 4 жыл бұрын

I needed to hear this. as i have been seeking approval from someone for over 20 years. I realise as someone told me . You will never be able to please her. As it's all about her . Now I do what I want . I'm doing it so it benefits others . And I have to shift my attention to them . As they are the people that matter and benefit . Not this person . I have been seeking approval from .

@bassdylan7048 6 жыл бұрын

My neck is just slightly soar from nodding in agreement nearly ever second. Bless you for not only your great efforts, but for sharing your wisdom as well.

@mercedeswalt6621 8 жыл бұрын

This gave me the biggest "aha!" Moment that I've ever had in a looooong time. Thank you so much!

@4noble_truths221 9 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this video. It really made me think about think myself and other people in a different way. This is something I have struggled with since I was a teenager. Again, thanks for this and all your videos. I am learning a lot about Buddhism just by watching your concise explanations. :)

@ramoesgaston9966 3 жыл бұрын

Whatever I do in my life and who I am believe me when I tell I don't seek fame or prestige but to help other be healthy and wise. May all sentient beings witness this profound brilliant glory.

@nigelsheppard2953 8 жыл бұрын

You really know your stuff and its presented in such a clear way. Thank you

@tempesnyder6243 Жыл бұрын

Yes, I needed this so very bad, it is the biggest problem in my life, and it has caused a really terrible, terrible difficulty for me. And you have broken the subject apart perfectly, explained every section of the problem. I usually listen to your videos on the four noble truths, and the noble eightfold path, but this is a good one. It will be on my menu for quite a while because it addresses my problem perfectly!

@Davidsillybarnarnar 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Mindah-Lee for your smile and your loving kindness

@yusefendure 5 жыл бұрын

This was so well presented. Thank you again.

@lilacwest 7 жыл бұрын

I love all your videos, but I want to especially thank you for this one, it is much needed for me, I will be watching it again & I took notes. Thanks for all you do!

@thedancingveganatheist6310 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this upload! It is a true public service.

@miraclesarefree6393 10 жыл бұрын

Thank you, for posting your videos; my wife is born a Buddhist & has some difficulty accepting my spiritual teachers. The other KZfaq Buddhist teachers, tend to speak only in a narrow Eastern philosophy, that is extremely outdated. I am now directed her to listened to you Channel. I feel your advice will be accepted by her.

@DS-yy2bk 9 жыл бұрын

You have been a blessing in my life,. Not just this video,. Others as well. The way you explain things is very refreshing, thank you.

@johnrkillick3342 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Mindah-Lee! Your talks are very good and helpful. May you be happy and well.

@georgegoodyear9631 7 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this much-needed advice.

@venuunitec 3 жыл бұрын

You are beautiful. Love your talks. Great insight. Straight to point.

@themonkeykingkaiser 9 жыл бұрын

I love your videos! And this was another great one!

@spacepodstudio 9 жыл бұрын

Thank you.. i need to practice this. You are a beautiful person.

@cmdrhunt 9 жыл бұрын

Greetings Mindah, I just found and subscribed to your channel. I enjoy listening get to all your videos and especially this one on self esteem. This particular video has helped me immensely and given me food for thought as well as relief. I struggle with self esteem, and I'm very glad to have found this and your channel. I really enjoy learning about Buddhism, and you present those teachings in a very easy and understandable way. I wanted to say thank you for doing so, and am looking forward to your next videos.

@BeHisLikeness 10 жыл бұрын

You are one smart lady...

@aventurileluipetre 8 жыл бұрын

I am grateful for your dedication, thank you for sharing your perspective, I can feel the peace

@javierloya4086 9 жыл бұрын

Thank you for the video, it is very educational, I have struggled with approval seeking behavior all of my life, I'm getting better at being myself and doing what I want instead of trying to please others, but I always need to be on my toes to be myself and your video is and excellent reminder of that.

@tferragut 4 жыл бұрын

Wonderful, gentle, calm and helpful. Right on message. Seeking approval that may never comes and is fleeting if it does leads to discontent and suffering within us. There are ways to deal. Thanks Mindah.

@yuandeshih5883 10 жыл бұрын

the series of dharma talk are so beneficial. sadhu

@SherOTG 8 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this. You have lifted my spirit many times!

@stacie1976 8 жыл бұрын

You are a sweetheart. Great words of wisdom! Thank you for being you and keep up the great work.

@rosscrich3 8 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your videos, they have helped me a lot!

@giuseppe-accordéon 8 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your wonderful way of explaining the Buddha's sayings....Bless you

@MickGoodman 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this. You present this from so many different angles. This is very helpful.

@SonicPhonic 5 жыл бұрын

Wow thank you for the great teaching tempered with solid common sense. It seems so rare to have such a great mixture!

@mridulashyam 5 жыл бұрын

Such a wise and realized Mindah Lee. I know and practice core Buddhism. Thanks for your help

@ButterflyStarla 9 жыл бұрын

Needed this, thank you so much :]

@Datruebdizzy7285 10 жыл бұрын

This is incredible Thank You So Much

@puglisid 7 жыл бұрын

Great Dhamma Talk,straight to the point. Thanks a lot for sharing your Dharma reflections on this important issue with all of us.

@stevenward2116 8 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the lesson...It all makes perfect sense to me....i'm going to try to include it in my daily life.

@saulwilliams-wilson7356 6 жыл бұрын

I am grateful for your videos

@JuliathePCGPinSW16 7 жыл бұрын

I found this video whilst searching KZfaq for one like this - I especially appreciated 2 points about (a) the transient nature of approval from others, ie it can be there one munute and gone the next and (b) that often are just too distracted by their own cares to notice us, but that a few see we want approval but choose not to give it because they feel it isn't "appropriate" in the relationship (eg boss/employee .. or manager and the CEO of an org)

@shirleyjones4041 4 жыл бұрын

This is very good.

@TJ-kz1ul 9 жыл бұрын

Thank you, thank you, for all your videos, I just found them today and have already learned so much. Gassho

@zendavis3501 7 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for your videos. You desiminate information with such poise and clarity that it resonates with me tremendously. Making it easy to comprehend. Please continue..... Namaste

@wbiggerstaff21 10 жыл бұрын

Thank you Mindah!!!

@jeroenjansen2709 5 жыл бұрын

It makes a lot of sense

@chriscintron3561 7 жыл бұрын

thank you.

@plstne48 10 жыл бұрын

Mindah, every new video from you is a gem filled with wisdom. Thanks especially for this video. I really needed the advice contained in it. It practically speaks to my own problem :)

@plstne48 10 жыл бұрын

Is there anything else that you would add that you never mentioned in the video? I personally like the idea of having compassion for other people and myself. I realize in the ultimate sense, people aren't really trying to hurt us; they're merely blinded by their own ignorance. When it comes to approval-seeking, I try to reflect on impermanence and out true nature. That ultimately we can't find real satisfaction in people, we can only do it through contentment and equanimity.

@gaynorarmash4659 9 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing..This is helping me a lot ....

@thutopstpr 8 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@omaviraomavira7187 Жыл бұрын

So proud for your successful 😊😍

@antidepressant11 Жыл бұрын

Very useful Mindah. Thanks .

@creator2149 7 жыл бұрын

Especially narcissists. They refuse to give you praise or acknowledge your happiness. I think we all have known these types of psychos. But, say normal people, they aren't going to give you what you want all the time either. Most people have egos of their own, narcissists enormous ones.

@DrSeethe 7 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the info. I've felt like I've always knew this but my religion is trying to stop me from thinking this way.

@montidatta 9 жыл бұрын

Very wise thoughts.

@derrickglass537 4 жыл бұрын

Luv ur smile n Aura 💓

@zain4019 2 жыл бұрын

Thank-you:)

@rogelio8002 6 жыл бұрын

well... i really agree with what u said in this video...absolutely agree!!... but to put it into practice can be really hard and difficult...from my own experience we are socially made ...and we need some amount of love from others...in the way of righteousness and honesty ,we may have to face decisions in which be honest and do the right thing can make the other reject us, and even attacking us, we can find ourself isolated ,alone and marginated ,suffering a feeling of injustice , sadness and deep... very deep demotivation so BEWARE!! u should never try to look stronger than u really are...at least is my experience...

@ganesanls8723 3 жыл бұрын

Awesome

@parikhprashant1 4 жыл бұрын

NICE one thanks

@TechBytesforstudents 6 жыл бұрын

you have helped me introspect my actions. Thanks Somuch. Please do throw some light on how to handle the craving.

@shaneking4523 5 жыл бұрын

Thankyou Mindah 🙏

@sachingayakwad919 9 жыл бұрын

** Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ ** I used to be very desperate, neutral and negative after death of my younger bro. in a very short age of 22 and due to some specific failures in the life; I tried many ideas and motivational quotes from internet websites to get out myself from these desperate and negative feelings, but no one could work for a longer time; after following Lord Buddha’s Teachings and his Dhamm.. I live so peaceful and feel free from all that types negative and desperate thinking. Buddhism is really Awesome..! The most honest and most useful religion for all human beings..!!

@craigbabinski 6 жыл бұрын

Any plans on new videos? I’m now going through them all again, just have so much value.

@SamitiYoga 8 жыл бұрын

your videos are great

@kzlp2394 3 жыл бұрын

such a beautiful lady

@peaceworld5632 8 жыл бұрын

Thanks..

@fosterhall738 9 жыл бұрын

EXCELLENT

@NicoleTaynicoletay 9 жыл бұрын

This helped. Thank you. With metta. :)

@JayCo- 6 жыл бұрын

Who will help end the suffering. Thank you for the great video

@stevenkok1926 7 жыл бұрын

Renounced worldly things that no longer serve. Seek the truth by self mastery experience.

@SKF358 4 жыл бұрын

No one is worth seeking his or her approval.

@antidepressant11 9 жыл бұрын

sensational hope you become famous even though you're not seeking it I know...

@creator2149 7 жыл бұрын

I'm certain I was not going to get any approval from my ex of 13 years. He was a narcissist. So, what I have learned is what makes me think I am going to get approval from anyone else? They either like me or they don't. The point is, I like me.

@samragunawardana6832 2 жыл бұрын

A mistake can be commited by anyone at anytime in our life nomatter how intelligent we are andno matter how wise we are .Yet buddism teaches us to avoid these musakes of our life ..which would otherwise can even lose everything including our lives

@themonkeykingkaiser 9 жыл бұрын

This is a great lesson. Are you from Australia?

@MrFlashjet 10 жыл бұрын

What you say is so true Mindah - I have a question for you, what are your thoughts on all this social media liking/disliking/commenting/not commenting. We can all get so caught up in this and take it so seriously it can cause stress. What are you thoughts...? --- Another great insight/video

@MrFlashjet 10 жыл бұрын

***** Thanks Mindah - I only found your channel a couple of weeks ago, the mindfulness practices and other tips you share in your videos are amazing - I suppose it's common sense, but common sense is so often lost nowadays and we all need to keep reminding ourselves of these things (practicing). Please keep up your great work.

@yourheavenmyhell9254 5 жыл бұрын

. Styxhexenhammer666 started to believe in reincarnation a couple of years ago. So did I about a year ago. About 2 months ago, I started to believe in karmatic laws and effect. It started to just make sense (being that we really don't know all the facts, and the absolute truth about the reason for our existence.) I think it is a good way to think i.e. try to replace bad/negative acts with good ones (whatever the F&$# that's supposed to mean!) I still hold the Satanic belief of to give love to those deserve it (IF YOU CHOOSE,) and not to those who don't deserve it (AND WRATH TO THOSE IF NEED BE.....BWAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!) Be good to yourself, Mindah!

@wfqsfg 5 жыл бұрын

Bottom line: It is ok if someone doesn't like you or doesn't want to be your friend. I know when I was much younger it did bother me.

@mattjackson6871 10 жыл бұрын

What about seeking approval at work. Where should one draw the line. I know that just being good at one's job should be enough. But really, it is the more personable people that get the most out of their careers.

@kariukitrevor 10 жыл бұрын

Really enjoyed the video. However seeking approval is something that has to be in life because I feel for Instance in christianity Paul was seeking for the approval of God. Galatians 1:10 So I think that in life in a general perspective we have to look for the approval of someone or something be it family, our children, friends or even God. I choose the latter but its tough. Please Mindah-Lee Kumar help me on this one.

@kariukitrevor 10 жыл бұрын

Thank you once again as this has really helped me. You could really help a lot of people in this world by building their inner confidence through your videos but the world is consigned to oblivion. Such a video deserves more views. Peace :-)

@miguelatkinson 2 ай бұрын

@@kariukitrevorthis is a buddhist channel kariukitrevor they don't really hold onto or believe in the concept of a personal Supreme creator god

@stevenkok1926 7 жыл бұрын

Metta Seeker Friends.

@creator2149 7 жыл бұрын

There are a lot of recovering abuse victims.

@three7446 9 жыл бұрын

i liked this. no offense, i promise i don't mean this in a mean way, but i think this video is a little dull. like there's nothing going on to hold my focus. it's too peaceful. most yt vids have flashing lights and edits and gifs with bright colors and music.

@carerforever2118 4 жыл бұрын

Sounds like attachment. Your attached to those things because your used to it. De-attach from them and you will be happy without those things .

@MarcDufresneosorusrex 2 жыл бұрын

isn't it funny that our defintion of love is pretty much "seeking approval" ? in a Hollywood sense..

@shockz18 9 жыл бұрын

In some of your videos,Iyour voice sounds like you just wanna burst out laughing, i dont know why i think that, do you do loads of cuts in your video because you just start laughin for no reason lol