Every time I start stimming more pronounced (arm flapping) while alone, I instantly feel more relief than I do bouncing my leg, and breathe a sigh of immense relief. It's magical, how it feels to allow yourself to stim without judging yourself

I call it going on standby. Waiting in line in a really busy place is when it most often happens so I tune out to ignore stimuli.

I went to my school dance for Halloween, and I am a neurodivergent teenager and have noise sensitivity so I was on the side sitting stimming and staring and I felt all the teachers eyes just glued to me. And for once I decided to just ignore it and do what was best for me and not care what they thought of my , I’m super proud of myself and wanted to share my achievements ❤

the stimming thing is actually *really hard* for me. i was raised very strictly like "sit still and be quiet" way more than is probably healthy? i was trained out of it so early i can't remember, but the less tightly i hold myself to the Old Ways, the more i realise i need to *move around* in some manner.

Why is it that only now am I hearing what I’ve always known to be true and have been gaslight by NTs into thinking is false: stimming is good, when overwhelmed I shouldn’t just try to “cope” and instead remove myself into a quiet corner and allow comfort to return etc. When I was a kid my meltdowns were literally called “hissy fits.” Let that sink in

The tough part is when stimming results in physical "harm" like biting nails or skin around nails to a point of bleeding... but there are products that can help and do.

"Dysregulated" describes it perfectly.

It’s so true! It’s not even a Power Nap, it’s just zoning out and then the brain untangles and I’m good to go after!

The problem is dealing with it when you're in a situation where you cannot get away.

I am so happy to have found you on KZfaq. I relate to you in so many ways and you have helped me explain how I’m feeling. Feel most people don’t understand me. Meltdowns and Shutdowns definitely apart of my life. Has decreased. I find the stims helpful, and explaining my energy in spoons. I’m 57 so probably not going to be dx at this age. At least I feel validated watching your channel. Please keep the videos coming, you ARE helping people. THANKYOU!! Sending love and prayers ❤

I didn’t know other people did the autistic stare!

I am not sure if I am autistic or not, but I've been questioning it for a while now. Something that I've noticed I do a lot is that whenever I arrive at a place (new or known) I tend to always go to the bathrooms within the first 5 minutes. I rarely actually need to use them, but my theory is that it gives me a alone space to like process (?) or prepare to function within that place once I've already seen a bit of the environment, the people, etc. Kind of taking a big breathe before a dive. Could that be my brain unconsciously looking for this that you mentioned in the video?

I've never been diagnosed formally, but I naturally have done these things. It feels great to hear encouraging permission to do this instead of being called lazy. I appreciate your work.

I have three kids so when the end of the day comes, I'm usually pretty close to meltdown (if not already there) and find myself wondering how I'm going to get through the evening. But then I put the five-year-old to bed and I have to stay in the room with the two-year-old until she's asleep or else she'll get out of bed and trash the room (which happens to be the same room where my husband and I sleep so this is not at all desirable). Anyway, after I've spent a good half-hour in the dark waiting for the baby to fall asleep, I find I can manage the rest of the evening just fine. So I agree that it helps a lot to spend time in the dark and quiet 🙂

My sensory safe zone is my bedroom. I usually wind up sleeping for a bit to give both my brain and body a break.

This channel is so validating. Thank you 🥹

I’m disabled w/ ME and lack the energy to do the sort of stimming that’s helpful to me-pacing. Shaking of the knee or foot tapping, etc. makes me feel more wired up (and they also take energy). The stim I developed after losing my energy is also not noticeable-I move my tongue behind my bottom teeth. I have found that on the rare times I have more energy my favorite stims come back. E.g., when standing in line I shift back and forth or slowly turn around (because I can’t pace about).

What helps me the most is the remember me song from coco and it calms me down within two minutes and it has helped me the most

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you so so so much.♥ I've been finally taking the time to learn more about things that didn't make sense growing up and what stands out so much more as an adult, accepting that I am on the spectrum/autistic, there were so many things with mental health that were shamed when I was growing up, and masking became harder and harder and I always compared myself to my peers. I recently learned about autistic burnout, thinking something was 'wrong' with me for being burnt out so easily and for so many years seemingly without end due to stress, among other things I realized just isn't 'the norm' for non-ND folk, and so coming across your channel, as someone who has to currently go through scouring the internet to learn more about myself and SO many things are making sense, and I'm feeling A LOT better now knowing that these things aren't 'just a "me" issue' after all. Your channel is a huge saver.♥

Bed canopies are amazing to create a functional "melty cave"

I was diagnosed back in 2014 and it’s helped me immensely. I’m also on medication, which has been causing some memory recall problems and I’ve had to write things down more…which stinks. I’m 35 now. I had a near death experience back in 2019 and when I get stressed, I stutter and need to take a few breaths to settle my brain down. I also twirl my hand around to feel better and hand flap and clap if I get excited and do a little happy ‘dance’ squirm if I enjoy what I’m eating. But all only if I’m around my mom. I mask all other times, which is exhausting to me. I gave up on ever finding anyone romantically that understands. I’m still learning what comforts me and don’t have many friends. Only my mom’s friends and I mask like mad around them. 😢

Can you talk about shame for having autism? I think I might be autistic, but I’ve always been called the responsible normal one in my family with three other neurodivergent siblings whose needs were more obvious than mine. I frequently doubt myself and wonder if I’m just making it up to excuse my weaknesses and “negative” behaviors.

living in a car with no support. overstimulated often. being harassed by men. i feel sad for what i and my body are going through but have no help with logistical day to day things that would help reduce stress, sensory overload, and proneness to overwhelm, especially on days when i'm under rested. i don't really want to be alive anymore. there is no where i belong or feel safe. i dream of privacy and quiet away from other humans. it just doesn't exist for me.

I'm so relieved I found your channel. I thought I had PPD, but it turns out I'm probably autistic af.

This😢videos feels like a relief. I’m exhausted 😭

I bite the skin around my nails for absolutely no reason 💅💅💅 and i have a few stims (i dont even know if i have stims, or autism. Because no one will let me get tested for anything) a day. I get meltdowns very rarely tbh because im 13, but i would still throw things (or twist, or bite something hard) when i'm distressed. Probably not autism? I need answers 😭

I like listening to spa type music and messing with my large chocolate lab. She is a great stim and also my safe furry child.

You give me hope😊

Please 🙏🏽 know that I am so genuinely grateful to you for sharing your experiences with ASD on here with us. Today I turned 53 & I’ve only recently realized I have ASD (suddenly my whole entire existence makes more sense & I’m immensely grateful to you & the other brave, intelligent, creative, and beautiful ASD people sharing experience, hope, & hacks!!! 💜🙏🏽🙏🏽☮️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Thanks for the reminder! I've been slowly getting more restless and fidgety all day and now that I'm alone you've reminded me it's stim freely time!

I didn't train myself out of stimming, they were bullied deep in inside me, by my father, who didn't want a weird kid. My echolalia and humming are internal now, I will rock and hum, externally. if I can hide during a meltdown. I wiggle my toes fold fingers, as this can be hidden. I count things, look for symmetry, move my head about so the things I'm looking at, say framed by a window, becone symmetrical. I can sob, internally, sounds odd actually saying this one, I would get beaten for crying "without reason".

I have both ADHD and Autism I had a meltdown I slammed my cell my house mate is mentally unstable they were naging at me so I blew my top.

Somehow, I managed to reach my mid-thirties undiagnosed with a broad set of overt stims. Not necessarily the ones that are typical among children (though I've been reacquiring those recently), but enough that I've generally felt well regulated.

Haha as a mom of 3 a quiet place is not possible

I was diagnosed just this week at age 30. Super relieved and validated by the diagnosis! Could someone elaborate on what "stimming" is please?

What would you recommend for an autistic teacher? My first graders don't cause me to be overwhelmed, but the other teachers do. The school made me team lead, and another teacher is mad about it. This causes a lot of stress but she won't give me time to process due to her forcing meetings every day during my only planning time. I'm not sure what to do at this point.

Cold showers work wonders for me. Just cold enough it takes your breath away, stay in the water until your body has got used to the cold, 20secs or so, go colder if you want. But just one shock to the system helps reset things for me

I was 65 when I was diagnosed. I used to get addicted to Cafe' World and Farmville. I was obsessed with them. It was all I did. It was really hard to stop them. I wonder if they were stimming? I need ideas on stimming that does not become addictive. Ive been flapping my arms since I was very young. I thought it was just my reaction to excitment.

Giving me permission to suck my thumb while running the fingers on my other hand repeatedly thru my hair.

Kiddo and I call it either decompressing or recharging, whichever seems more fitting at the time. I think smoking, coffee drinking, and chewing the inside of my bottom lip are my main stims at this point, as well as things I do for anxiety. I need to find some healthier replacements.

Thanks!

My peeeeeeps! Thank you for normalizing our experiences! 💕🩷💕

Thisbis whats I do when I have tese constant headaches.... starting to think maybe headaches is how I articulate being disregulated

How do i cope at workplace woth continuous sensory input, i cant keep going to the restroom..this is fucking frustrating

Thank you!!

What if you start freaking out when your baby is screaming and your toddler is taking in your leg and peeing on your feet and then your husband is on the phone yelling at you to calm down while you’re burning the chicken on the stove and your cats are getting in a fight next to you? I’m having a hard day. And I just found out I’m autistic and idk why I never realized it before.

This really helped

I have a pile of plushies and incense

❤

The autistic stare haha Why is it so hard to hear “what’s going on babe?” or “what’s wrong?” specifically in the stare vs when something is actually making my face upset outside of a shut down. haha

Any suggestions for healthy stims to try out? I have an adult family member who already does all of this daily, but their two go-to stims are slightly SHing. Eg biting nails. I've suggested to them to try replacing nail biting with something else that's either an oral or manual stim, but we could use some suggestions or ideas. TIA!

Great tips !

+MomontheSpectrum *Thanks for the briefing short.* I've observed fewer episodes of dysregulation than the mean, therefore less need for sensory-deprived places. Incidentally, concerning nail finishes, DASHING DIVAⓇ Glossᵀᴹ strips expose one to less total solvent than lacquer and/or enamel. Sensory-friendly color for one's tips.

Does anyone else rub their eyes excessively as a stim?

For the last 40 years, 🦖 have been normal and I thought everybody used them. I stand corrected. Not really… but why change after all of this time? 🤷🏾‍♀️

🍄

YUP

Good advice: don't smoke to stim

Not to be rude but is the stutter part of autism? I’m just wondering because some days I seem to slur my words or stutter that same way more often than others

Go to a dark different planet. Check.

Thank you so much! I have a question: what if I’m in class (I start senior year of High School next week) and the teacher doesn’t let me leave? Is it safe to put my head on the desk and close my eyes for a little while (to calm down)

What's stimming?

What is stimming?

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Thank you so much for this! 💕☺️When I was a kid, I sooo looked forward to the end of the day - when I could just get in bed and stare at the ceiling. I was sooo excited for bedtime. As an adult, I have found that I can’t always hold out until bedtime. I worried that it would be “lazy” of me to take a few minutes to just lie down and stare at a wall. But I desperately need it some days. Thanks to you, I now know what this urge is 🥹🥰🥲💕

Sweetie get out and enjoy life