Thanks so much for watching and for all the lovely comments!! I want to add one more thing: the examples I used for how negative core beliefs start are both bad-parent-based, but I wanna emphasise and add that negative core beliefs can come from anywhere (school, friends, even good parents). Sorry for any confusion!! Love you all xxx

When you're a qualified therapist who started watching Struthless for entertainment but now watches for professional development

“The bald tattooed man on the internet made me do it” is my go to excuse for all things from now on.

As a person who was mostly done with writing a novel but had to stop to get a marketing degree I feel called out

10 years in therapy, 60k in pshychiatrist and I found my answers here in 10 minutes, this comes to show how much others really want to help you or help themselves. This is why now when I want to know something I go to the people who have the life experience, not a school degree.

"These are awful things to say to anybody, and yet we say them to ourselves everyday. If you were somebody that you loved, you'd take yourself out to dinner, pump your body with sunshine instead of drugs, and forgive yourself for all your mistakes." I want to frame this.

I just realised this is the reason why I don't journal, I don't start all the projects I have thought about, I only buy art materials but don't actually use them. I and everyone will know I have a big, ugly, wobbly head. 🤷‍♀️

I am grateful for this video. Dysfunctional parents are really not a joke. Many humans make very poor choices due to a Dysfunctional childhood. This does not excuse negative behavior, we are all in control of our own lives, however events can add up to a mountain and not a molehill. I laughed, I cried, I learned a little about myself. EXCELLENT!

i have self sabotaged my whole life, but it all came to a head in September last year when i left everything i knew and loved (my fiance, my job, my home) to move to Adelaide and start anew. i literally didnt believe i deserved the happiness and stability that was occurring. i'm now back with my partner and trying to fix the damages that i've done.

“Self sabotage can be triggered by positivity!” Just knowing this is true is a great reminder to look out for it when it’s happening!

This video could not have come at a better time.

Professional self saboteur here, this is so on point. Wish I had realized all of this much sooner, before I had built up and wrecked my life multiple times but at 43 I’m finally getting it. It’s never too late.

I am an HSP (a highly sensitive person). It's second nature to me to read even the smallest expressions of those around me. As a child I was around my parents the most. Both my parents have always treated me like an adult. Almost all my life I've been dependable, and solved my problems on my own. So they never really had to be parents to a "child" even though I was one. My dad is a good person, he just didn't know how to be a parent. He is a highly critical person. When I was younger he'd treat me like one of his employees or as someone other his child. He would expect perfection and the clarity of thought from me that even most adults don't have. "I couldn't make mistakes or he wouldn't like me. I'm not a capable person. I'm lazy. I not smart." "I'm not smart." His critical comments that were aimed at making me better were really what was holding me back all my life. After seeing your video I can tell that these thoughts were just the "child" mirror that I saw myself through. I was almost afraid of being around my dad for fear that he's gonna hurt my self worth. I knew that even as a kid. As I grew bigger I was less afraid and more avoidant. I've always been a good student but I never felt that I deserved that. I never felt like I deserved the good things that I worked really hard for. Because my mind had become a critic like my father. Because no one had complimented me as a child. We used to live in a joint family with two of my cousin brothers being raised with me. They weren't any good at studies (but they had their own talents). So it was like they needed more encouragement. And everyone just kind of assumed that I didn't need encouragement and that I could be treated as an adult. Fast forward 10 years throughout which I had a very poor sense of identity. I didn't even know that I was introverted. I didn't know my likes and dislikes. I had always sort of accommodated myself to take what was leftover. Or like what everyone else at home liked. I always thought in terms of others. And generally didn't even know that I was miserable. When I turned 18, things started to change when I decided to move to another city for college. I decided to prove to myself that I am capable, I'm not lazy, I am among the smartest people I know, and I can make mistakes. It was a horrible year. I was constantly conflicted between reality and the image that I had of myself. And then covid happened so I moved back home. That's when I realised that I like living alone. And I like to be by myself. I need people but very few and far between. This was a life changing realisation. I stopped putting pressure on myself to socialize. I realised that I'm a people pleaser with no boundaries. I learnt to build boundaries. I learnt to be firm. I learnt that if I don't treat myself with respect, no else will. So I told my parents about my introversion. And they were surprised because I talk a lot to my mom. But then they started to see that I really was an introvert. And they changed their behaviour so as to not push me to meet people all the time. They started giving me more alone time. I also learnt how to deal with the fact that my dad is a critic. I sat him down once and told him about how I felt when he criticised me. That took so much courage. And since then we've had a better relationship. Now I'm in a healthier mindset than before. I am trying to learn that I deserve all the goods things that come to my in life. Even though I self sabotage all the time. I had actually started healing myself before I saw this AMAZING video. But seeing this has given me so much more clarity. And has made my struggle so real. I accepted a long time ago that I have the tendency to self sabotage, I didn't how to stop it. Now I know. Thank you.

Agreed. When we fail, our brain is like ‘see told you you’re crap’ and we just accept the abuse🙃🙃🙃

"I feel like she loves a fake me" Ooof, that hits too close bro

I've been to a few therapies and I know my issues inside out, but this is maybe the first time ever I've come across actual practical advice on how to address the ongoing voice of my inner critic AND how to change the narrative. Thank you so much. I only wish I'd stumbled upon this sooner.

6:16 i just wanted to give you a gigantic hug. For you, and for me… Thank you for all that you do. You really are putting some warmth back into people’s hearts (mine included) 🥺💛

I use to feel like I had a drill sergeant in my head, and it hated my ever-loving guts. Nothing I did was good enough and I was nothing but lazy, selfish, and unreliable. I started applying step 5 four years ago, and it has literally changed my life. Instead of a drill sergeant, I have a coach/cheerleader egging me on: challenging my assumptions, encouraging me to try new things, and daring me to push my limits. I started college a decade after graduating high school, and now I'm in my Junior year of college, studying computer science, with a 3.75 gpa. I am nothing like the person I thought I was.

I cried when I heard your 'list'. I cried for the child that had to bear all that horror and abuse. Then, I realised that I was crying, not only for that little boy, but also for the little girl that I had been.

This video helped me realize why I procrastinate so much. I was writing the list of positive experience with the negative feelings and noticed that it all revolved around my confidence in the work that I do and then it hit me hard. I always start to procrastinate when I am about to finish something that I am working on and always either don’t finish or finish WAY after the deadline. I always thought of myself as lazy... But the reason I do that is because I am so freaking terrified that the work that I am doing is shit and nobody is going to like it and then that makes me want to give up. 🤯🤯🤯 I have never realized that until now! You are truly amazing. Thank you so much for these videos! ❤️

Hi, you've expressed very well how I've felt for the bulk of my life. Last year I hit Sixty and I'm actually getting my shit together, now I'm sixty-one and even though being through covid I'm remaining positive and on track to build on what I've already learned. Your best piece is #5 treat yourself as someone you love, which I now do in abundance;-) Cheers, dude...

Recently told a friend “yea I get paid to draw pictures and I was even able to buy a house on my income alone but if any legit artists saw my stuff or heard of my job they’d think it was trash.” And maybe they would but maybe they’re assholes and maybe it’s ok to be proud of myself

Weirdo to weirdo: thank you, you make me feel less alone. And jupp, that makes my world better.

You laid out plainly what I have discussed with a talk therapist AND a shrink ad nauseum for DECADES. Thank you. Your clarity is profound. I get more out of meditation, breathwork, and KZfaq content than I ever did from paid professionals. Maybe it’s really down to timing. Those professionals really did help me with a lot of important growth. This was the one thing neither could adequately address. I appreciate you.

It’s also crazy how similar people tend to be who have similar childhood traumas, even if neither party addresses the traumas

I FEEL THIS SO HARD

I sorta came from an opposite situation where I was labeled as a "gifted child" and I have extremely supportive parents, but they were really trying to keep me from feeling like a failure on those few times I slipped up when I was young. And as an adult I really struggle with feeling like a failure because I'm not where I want to be or even completely on the right track. And I worry because I've put my happiness on trying to get the right job, and that I won't let myself be happy until I achieve that, and that if I do get that job, I worry that I won't feel like it's enough.

When he wrote down his NCBs I almost cried cause I resonated with them so much. Thanks for this video, really

I started watching this while fighting the responsibility to start the day with so much anxiety and dread, and wow I’m speechless.. you literally turned my day around. If I heard one of your videos every morning I would love it! You should consider doing a podcast! Thanks for your work! Lots of love! ❤️✌️

This man has done more for me in like 3 videos than in 3 years of literal therapy from a psychologist

“You’ll pump yourself full of sunshine instead of drugs” thank you, I like that.

Damn bro. I'm already in tears and haven't even written anything down. Thank you.

I cried from the start to the end of this video. The way you discuss about these painful themes really show up how deep you're going to fight, manage and understand them. Thanks for this amazing content!

There’s something comforting knowing there’s a dude like you in the world.

Isn’t it frustrating how much easier it is to be kind to other people? I’ve always been called the “painfully positive” person in the lives of those around me, and yet for a long time, nobody knew how I was sadly feeling. Thank you for sharing how you personally work to combat these feelings of self sabotage and negativity. Your personal journey in any number of ways, is very inspiring. Even though we’re complete strangers, I’m very proud of you. Thank you for putting more good into the world just by being yourself.

Just found the channel. I turned 30 in January I’ve spent my 20s in self sabotage,addiction etc. it’s great not to feel alone in my “late start” good stuff bro

Voiced beautifully. 61 years old, only now getting close to figuring self sabatage out. Voiced beautifully. TY

I came here for drawing challenges, I stay for the therapy. I love you, man!

You literally just did CBT over the internet. Only recently found your channel, and instantly am enamored with it. Real talk, straight facts. Cheers man.

This guy has helped me more than my therapist... absolutely love your style - makes your videos super relatable and, importantly, actionable. Keep it up man!

Your content is way more insightful and uplifting than all the sessions I had with my therapist and self help books I've read. I'm entering a new chapter in my life and your videos really help me go through it, with a better mindset.

Relate to this a heap. Noticed that around 9 months is my cutoff time for jobs too. I find after about 9 months at a place, I've learnt the majority of things I need to know to do the job to the best of my abilities, I've got to know my colleagues as much as I'd care to, and the job & workplace becomes stale and boring. I would usually quit at around this time to pursue something new and exciting, but in the instances where I've stuck at it and tried to ignore the yearning for something different, it's taken me to pretty dark places. Fortunately now I've managed to get into a position where I work for myself, so there is no limitations to what I can learn or do, and I have no colleagues so I don't get driven insane by the same conversations about the weather. There are obviously cons to this new work life, but I definitely am a lot happier overall.

thank you. i never understood why i find it so satisfying to fuck everything up for myself. quitting jobs, revenge trades, being hostile, destroying my stuff. have been like that all my life, and i have a hard time seeing it come to an end

I hate the fact that you're always right. Sometimes it's tough to click on, but 100% of the time I'm so happy I did. Love you dude!

I love how you get into the psychology of beliefs built as a childhood. Mental health unfortunately is not taught in schools 😳 I can definitely relate with the cycle of self sabotage. I have been trying to get my art career going for 4 years and I have definitely found I am my biggest enemy. I have found way too often I progress or reach a goal I find a reason or let others around me that are negative bring me down. Thanks for posting this and reminding me Im not alone on this.

Nails should be careful around you Struthless, you keep hitting them on the head! Thank you.

The realization of self sabotage when it finally clicks is quite overwhelming...

Yet another amazing video. That last tip really struck a cord with me. Treat yourself as you would treat someone else. Something so simple and logical, yet it never occurred to me... as a person who constantly beats myself up, hearing my oldest child talk negatively about themselves is absolutely heart-wrenching. My response has always been, "Don't you dare talk about yourself that way. I would never let anyone talk badly about you, and you are no exception." Now, if only I could take my own advice.

As a person with a Psychology degree: this is perfect.

I know this is corny af but I literally started crying when you said that those things are far too cruel to be said to anyone, let alone ourselves. Sometimes, our view of ourselves is so distorted that we lose touch with the idea that we deserve affirmation from our own selves. Thank you for this video, it comes at the right time. I will try your strategy and hopefully, it will help free me a bit

Thank you, man! This video hit uncomfortably close to home personally, and I just wanted to tell you how much it helped me to start thinking about some of my own shit. And also that it is very generous of you for being so open and humble with your own process. But more than that, this video was just a master class in communication! You managed to unpack several complex psychosocial behaviours, and give practical advice on how to identify and try and change them, all in under 11 minutes! So, thanks for making the video! I'm pretty new to your stuff. You used to draw Simpsons-characters but now you are an Oz Tony Robbins? You seem like an amazing weirdo and a cool human, keep practicing that self-love. You deserve it.

I can't begin to express the gladness in my heart that I found this channel!

aaaa thank you, timing couldn't be more perfect. I'm today years old (almost 29) when I realized that my childhood wasn't as good as I always wanted to think. Many of my insecurities come from there and I spoke to my brother how I've wanted to publish my comics and art for almost 10 years but I leave everything unfinished and think that there is no point to continue bc I'm not good enough, though I somehow know it's not true. F THIS, time to finish what I've started. Thank you!

"You believe you don't deserve success." That is the exact sentence that hit home, and it shattered me into a crying heap that I was not expecting 2 seconds before. Why the f*ck are so bloody right about one o the core believes of my world and why the f*ck did I have to find this out by a youtube video. And why do I relate to such a deep level.

This is a f***ing bullseye for me .. thank you so much for sharing your story and how you identified the self sabotage beliefs and how to walk through the river to the other side .. much gratitude 🙏🏻

While I was watching this I started to feel sick, it's like my inner negative self is feeling attacked and wanted to fight back. I also felt like I wanted to cry, like I know I have to deal with this and I know I can but the fight back is really hard. I wish there was an easy way to do this but this video is a great start and thank you for sharing it.

When you said "cause I'm somebody worth ignoring" that hit hard. That (parent) way of thinking is so true

You are more relatable than you think & it’s perfectly normal to give yourself a corny compliment. If everyone really sat down & took their thoughts out of their heads onto paper & started to tackle the lies that they’ve been told & believe, they could crack that shell open just a bit, to start being free in a new life of their actual truth. Your drawings are AMAZING but your talks are a breakthrough for a lot of your viewers. You are appreciated & are here to break out of your shell to help others do the same. Nobody wants to have claustrophobia of the mind anymore! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

I took the time and did everything you laid out in this video. I found listing the consequences especially enlightening. My anxiety would have me believe that the consequences of my negative hindering beliefs/fears happening or being realized by others would cause me hurt and harm. But in actuality they wouldn't even cause me much stress. Wholly shit just the sheer IDEA of my negative beliefs have sent me into crushing panic attacks. THAT'S CRAZY! I seriously think that I'm going to have way fewer now knowing this. Thanks for laying it out like you did -really appreciate it!!!!!!

This is the most important video that I have ever watched. Thank you, man.

Each time when I lose weight I tended to think “I don’t deserve it” and start eating junk food and stop workout hard. And.. when I gained weight I will eat healthy and workout. The loop never ends..

sometimes I call myself names and my partner says to me “Hey! Don’t say that about the person I love!” It really helps 😊👍 Thanks struthless. This is all good advice

Did this exercise last year and I'm totally doing it again this year. Dealing with our self-sabotage takes work! Thanks for your videos!

Hot damn, this is some great advice. I'm broadly aware of my negative self-sabotaging thinking, but I have a lot of trouble with knowing what's real. Structuring things like this and writing them down is something I'll try. I probably give way too much focus towards the negative evidence, and if I were to transcribe all of that onto paper, I'd just be writing down the same sentence thousands of times. Writing it down once will help me see it for what it is - a possibility, but just one of them.

It’s been 22 freaking painful years of me trying to understand and some how explain to people around me why I ruin my own life. But I never ever had an answer. I just did and when my loved ones would ask why I could only reply with I don’t really know. I have been searching for my why for sooooo long I got tired. Thank you so much!! It feels as if a light bulb just turned on and I could finally see. I’ll practice every suggestion and hopefully will get out of this rut. I have been drowning and suffocating for too long. You have no idea what your video just did for me I’m grateful and glad that I found this. Side note: love your sense of humour 👌

Struthless only appears on my recommended when I most need his advice, it's a blessing

I never thought I'd come across such an amazing KZfaq channel.. you really are special and what you do matters. Thank you, your videos do help x

"If you were somebody that you love, you'd take yourself out for dinner, pump your body with sunshine instead of drugs and forgive yourself for all your mistakes".

I'd like to add, its not just that weirdos need weirdos, its also that when these weirdos have the courage to be vulnerable and honest about their issues it gives: 1. others the courage to face their own issues 2. its put in a language they can understand 3. gives them a sense of connection (its not only me dealing with this sh*t) 4. creates respect for the their fellow weirdo talking about their issues... and you, struthless, are one I have come to respect for your bravery and wisdom... I hope you believe all the good things said about you in these comments :)

For someone that’s been brought up where my own family members constantly insults and looks down on my artwork which caused me to stop drawing for two years, this video definitely helps a lot to keep me inspired ! I just started getting back to animating and art recently so this keeps me motivated ~ thanks a lot!

Man, i'm so happy that i chose to watch this video when searching about how to overcome self sabotage. The video is so easy to understand. The way you show how you have these negatives thoughts too, and not some one who got it all figured out. Make it weirdly comforting and relateable. Im truly thank you for this video.

When I finished writing those negative core beliefs I sat there like wooow, this is how I actually feel....hit really hard honestly

I feel like once I stopped being cynical in my mind, I started building a better world in my mind. Thanks for sharing this, Struthless. You're a winner in my book.

Your comment on not telling a kid that their good school work is a fluke hit me deep as that's pretty much exactly what I was told when I was small - either a fluke or that it was because I'd gotten help on homework. It really messed with my head.

I watch these videos with no expectation of relating. When he said "when somebody pays attention to you, they're just being nice." I felt that. I can't trust anyone because of how I feel. Whenever people compliments my work, I think they're just being nice and actually don't want to hurt my feelings and my work is actually bad. It's a horrible feeling. I feel my progress and hard work is just luck and one day that luck is going to run out and people will just say that was expected of me. Failure.

I really needed to hear this message today my life is going better in my artistic fields than it ever has before and I’m freaking out and scared that I might actually start succeeding thank you for everything you do you genuinely help people I am 1

Dude I gotta say you have the best blend of compassion, cornyness and self awareness in these types of videos on serious topics. I learn something in every single one. And thanks for helping break the stigma that guys can't have feelings or if he does it means he's weak. It takes a lot of strength to honest to yourself. Hope you're keeping well in these crazy times ❤

Link this video every time someone says “just love yourself” because everyone struggles with that and this actually tells you HOW unlike every other fit girl insta post I’ve seen talking about self love.

Never watched your videos before but just came across this and at such an ironic time! Being put back on a new medication and told I should try therapy again.... nothing being explained etc but this video is literally way better than doctors and therapists! Providing help for all us with too much anxiety to face people / just want to try ‘self help’. If I could throw billions of likes and support on this video I would!! Also had to replay a few parts for a laugh at how true! Especially around 10 mins in. Best thing I’ve watched on KZfaq ever tbh! Rate you.

God, I cried so hard, as hard as I relate myself with what you share in this video. Thank you so much for letting me know there’s someone out there that faces the similar situation. Thank you.

The timing of this video being released two days before my last mental breakdown (yesterday) is honestly very appreciated. I'm a writer and I've been struggling with self-sabotage for years. The issue is not helped by the fact I'm considered a genius and so people expect outstanding performances for me in a vast area of fields. Yesterday, I received excellent news about one of my projects: I'm to be published by a French publisher for the first time in a few months. I should be over the moon, but it's just... not it. I feel like I'm late (even though I'm only 23) and like I don't deserve it/won't be able to do the work asked of me. I feel like the big book series I'm planning on starting in November won't work out because I'll quit, and this is the project of my life. So thank you. With the stuff you said in your video, I might be able to break the cycle.

You never know what gems you will find on KZfaq! As a Body Code practitioner, I help people with self sabotage, unworthiness, and anything else standing in the way of their being their authentic, joyful selves. Lists such as yours bring hidden blocks to consciousness and help us understand why we behave the way we do. Bravo for figuring this out on your own!

Bro. This so so real, so awesome. And shows all the work you've done on yourself. And I'm so proud of you, and literally everyone that is watching this video. Way to break down the hard truths.

Mate, this work you're doing - just as important as, if not more important than the art. Lifting people up with your own story. Thank you.

This weirdo thanks you, sincerely, for being vulnerable enough to share this and making this exercise seem approachable for the first time.

I just cried my entire way through this video. I can't wait to watch all 104. Thank you.

Dude. I have been trying to find your KZfaq channel, and finally found it after racking my head for words like "procrastination, self help". And finally "sabotage" worked in the search bar. This video had truly helped me and I can never thank you enough

"Treat yourself like you'd treat someone you love" is massive. This is going on my laptop desktop to remind me.

I struggle a lot with this too. This is gonna sound really odd, but when I'm having a particularly difficult time, a coping method I use is imagining holding myself as a baby. It's so much easier to break negative thought patterns when envisioning your child self, vulnerable and deserving of kindness and love. You recognise you would never speak to this child the way you speak to yourself, yet that child is you. Take care of yourselves, everyone

This made me cry a little cause I don't really treat myself the best and the way you talked about how you should treat yourself as you would treat someone you love resonated with me and made me think that I can do better for myself. Thank you for making these kinds of videos for people. It's always nice to know you're not alone and the more videos there are like this one the better cause even if one has heard this in a similar way a number of times before it doesn't hurt as a reminder and it could be that a this telling from a different perspective/person could be the one that really clicks if others haven't already, or reinforce that narrative from other times even more.

This post is so full of love and compassion. I'm glad it exists.

Your content is some of the most honest, kind, interesting, relatable, vulnerable and authentic that I’ve encountered on the internet in a very long time. Cheers, man, keep it up.

You know man, I don't say this often, but thank you. For real, I needed to hear this so much. Thank you

This video couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I've had such anxiety lately about an upcoming relocation and job change, and everything he was mentioning about himself is exactly how I feel. I'm going to reference this video often. Thank you Stuthless for the video. It's made me feel better.

Rewatching a year later. Can’t get off the couch. Thank you!!! I don’t how you do it -- but I’m so grateful for you being on earth at this time♥️🧡❤️💜

I swear these videos come at suspiciously perfect times in my life

seeing this video and everybody's comments is really helping me feel less alone in my struggles and giving me hope. thanks.

I have no words how to express all my gratitude towards you. Your words and tactics are so helpful, and I am glad that you share with people the possible ways for healing and becoming greater versions. Tons of thanks!

You are nothing short of AMAZING. Thank you for sharing your testimony and vulnerabilities to help others reach their full potential. There are a lot of amazing people out there hiding themselves from the world. You are helping them come forward and making the world a better place with this channel. ❤

Wow, I was just chastising myself this morning for having made absolutely no progress on my project. I mean, this is a really important project for me, and I have done NOTHING! And this video just popped right up when I came to KZfaq as if the universe was screaming at me to hurry up and get busy! Thanks, Struthless!