Her body, her choice. She knew what was at risk if she got pregnant. She could've chosen not to, but she did not. She knew the risks and went ahead anyway.She had full bodily autonomy. This is not Jacksons fault.

Shelby was just another pathetic woman trying to have a k1d to save a failure marriage. I have no sympathy for her at all. Her selfishness caused a lifetime of unnecessary suffering for her stupidity.

Jackson is equally to blame, but the key word is 'equally'. It takes two to tango. Or, in this instance, to kill the noncompliant diabetic with a 'save the marriage' baby. Shelby could've divorced him to save her life if she'd wanted to; Jackson did not force her to do anything. Shelby and Jackson were both idiots, and were both responsible for her death. The only innocent party is Jackson Jr.

Most men don’t care. They just want a LEGASSEH! While the woman does all the work and raises the child.

As far as Jackson, some of the dialogue makes it seem like she might be wanting a baby to help the marriage and make her feel whole. In the play it seems that he is an uninvolved husband and kinda mediocre. The audience doesn’t really know much about their marriage.

@@Angel-ts8rche comes across like that here too. He is only very handsome but mediocre otherwise.

Funny how now women say it is also a decision of a father. Usually it 'her body = her decision'. Why now in this case it is not her decision?

Shelby was in denial, big time

Apparently, both Shelby and her husband WERE aware that there were risks, and the did try adoption and filled out all the paperwork. But as it appears, they were told they were not eligible as adoptive parents because of Shelby's condition. And for Shelby it seems very important to be considered normal in every way despite her condition, and that also includes having a baby of her own, and to some extent, her condition is worsened by stress - the diabetic attack in the beauty salon that she suffers before her wedding ceremony is brought on by the stress of having been told by the doctor that she should not attempt to have children. (She also seems to work a job which takes a great toll on stamina and strength - as far as the movie suggests, she works as an ICU nurse and she also has to work shifts.) It also does not seem that Shelby has not given the risks a thought at all - she mentions that diabetic women have children all the time with no trouble. As far as I know, the story is set in the 1980s and even considering the advances that diabetic treatment has made between then and now, this seems to be generally true. So perhaps the doctor's advice against Shelby having children is not due to her being diabetic at all, but due to the specific form that her diabetes takes (perhaps it is more severe and harder to control in her case than it is in others).

Well that’s a bit harsh. Not called for.

@@christianealshut1123 Thankgod for people like you, some of the comments have been over the top. Some people have forgotten that she yearned for her Own baby, and leave something off her behind. It gave her husband and her family something to focus on when she was gone and to share their grief and love. She wanted a normal married life as much as possible, she wasn’t selfish as some people have said, she was brave right to the end.

I'm glad she had her baby and recovered. But yikes! 15. Not sure I would say "all her life" about anyone at that age. Was she able to raise the kid successfully?

Honestly, I ain't even mad. Her doctor in so many words said the younger the better. 15 isn't ideal that's for sure! But if it worked out it worked out! I'm glad for her!

There's A TV Show On MTV Called 16 And Pregnant And There Are 2 Moms On The Show That Are Diabetics.

I don't think she thought that she had nothing special, but she just wanted to have it all, and didn't realize that nobody gets everything. 😢

From the dialog, I don't things between her and her husband were that good. She gives a hint.

From her words, it would seem like that. But I believe that because she had such a wonderful family and especially a loving and supportive mom, she felt the need to give the same back to her own child and become that wonderful, loving mother. The sad part is she wasn't able to due to her serious health problems. Her mom knew best, even though she also wished her daughter could have a normal life.

@@Spice99857 Some people do..

@@jeanjennings5712yeah me either, when she said I think it would help things.

Not necessarily only that - it's a movie about the strength of the bonds between women, and about the hidden strength of (Southern) women in general. That's why it's also called Steel Magnolias - a magnolia is the epitome of daintiness, but all of these women have a strength (mettle, "steel") beyond what they are given credit for. If you watch the movie closely, you will realize that it generally prioritizes the bonds between the women over their bonds with the men, and that men are rather marginalized within the plot. In this sense, it is also interesting that Shelby expressly follows her husband's wish when wanting her baby to be a boy (which he also turns out to be). She aligns with her husband is wanting to continue the male line (of his family) rather than the female line of which she is also a part. This is also echoed by MLynn at the funeral when she realizes that the boy wholly belongs to his father now.

What exactly does a "private adoption" mean? What's the alternative?

​​@@harringt100 The adoption is between the biological parent and the adoptive parent directly without an adoption agency or a judge.

@@lillyess385atrocious thing. Biological parents monetizing their creatures. Giving up for adoption is an act of love per se, you give up a child so they can have a better life. But gaining money from it? It is disgusting. What parents do that and then sleep at night?

Shelb

@@lillyess385yep. It's handled by attorneys.

It’s not irresponsible to give someone life and risk your own for someone you love. I feel like a lot of people don’t get it and it’s sad to me.

@@BrandyTexas214this. Sacrificing is love

@@katlyndobransky2419 she sacrificed her life for her son

At least some people talk a lot of sense. Didn’t think this story would cause so much controversy.

These same women here who are picturing themselves in a martyr “holier than Mother Mary herself” position by identifying with Shelby in this movie would not lift a finger to help a young, single struggling mother who was sacrificing food, life and limb for her child. As a matter of fact, they would talk badly about her behind her back and crucify her all over town. It’s foolish and arrogant to do what Shelby, and her husband, did in this movie. “It might help things.” This line suggests that Shelby may have been coerced into doing what she did by her husband. And of course, once you’re PG, you feel like you have to justify it to yourself and everyone else. Put money in your own bank first, or go bankrupt. Put your own mask on first in an airplane in trouble…otherwise, you cannot help anyone else. As her mother correctly pointed out, she could have adopted--there are many children throughout the world who need the love of a good family….or she could’ve gone the surrogate route. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman just living a great life full of love, good friends, a loyal dog, a great profession, and travel….minus kids. Just madness here.

What's wholesome about it?

@@ticketyblue3080 whats not wholesome about it ?

Yes they do, don’t be ignorant.

@@Stewalebeth ya you wish

What's wholesome about it she dies at the end? 😢😢😢😢

I can't agree with you about Mom's knowing what's best or father's either. Both my parents were big on pushing marriage and children. My mother was just a control freak and bully. I was in no way ready for it and lucky for me was I was independent of my parents in my early 20's they lost any control that they had because I wasn't dependent on them anymore.

@@karenmonson9893 Having 6 sisters, im glad my mom & dad didn't push children & marriage onto any of my siblings and I. Im sorry your mother was that type of lady. Im proud you got yourself out of that & you're living by your own accord.

@@blehlee6745 Thank-you!🙂🤘

@@karenmonson9893she’s delusional

@@karenmonson9893 Moms don't always know best, but in most cases they really do want their children to be happy. (As long as that doesn't mean losing their children--which is the case in the movie.) I don't know your parents' motivations but maybe they found marriage and children to be really fulfilling and genuinely thought you would, too (even if that was not the case.)

It’s very indicative of push and pull between daughter and mother.

actually if you listen to what she said, her and jackson were having issues already. poor shelby thinks having a baby for him will help fix their relationship. it is sad.

Even the way Sally Field cracked those eggs was keeping everything in character in this scene. Flawless instincts.

@@BB-xe2dh It's one way to see it. But I initially thought she really wanted a child of her own.

@@vivianpowell1732 Good observation!🙂🧐🤘

I’ve always wondered that too! Kinda cryptic.

As a type 1 diabetic too,with complications,the thought of having a child made me feel my life was worthwhile.that the diabetes rules everything,but a baby would have brought joy.

@@victoriadunnett4745 Interesting. Thank you for sharing your perspective!

In the play, it is heavily implied that Jackson is an uninvolved husband. No male characters are ever seen on stage, so we can only interpret them from how the women talk about them. Jackson comes from a family of conservative, blue-collar "rednecks", and he seems to be chauvinistic and old-fashioned when it comes to women and their roles as wives and mothers. When Shelby says "it would help things", in the play it implies that the marriage is rocky. However, Jackson is made to be much more likeable in the movie, and their marriage seems happy. I'm surprised that this line was left in from the play, as it doesn't match his portrayal in the film at all.

@@dardend4155 Thank you. I find Jackson still pretty unlikeable in the film! It is pretty upsetting that she would say this.

When she said I think it would help things a lot, that sounds like the marriage is in trouble. A baby would just add to her serious health issues and it’s selfish of him to have wanted a biological child.

It seems to me when all is said and done Shelby is the one who made the ultimate decision not Jackson

wow, did you even watch the movie? jackson was the one who insisting on adopting, 'we would buy 10 of them if we have to' was his words to shelby. but shelby is the one who wanted to get pregnant even if she knew the risk.

You do realize that it takes 2, right? It should work both ways. They are both to blame going by your logic, such as that "logic" is.

@@julijakeit You need to watch the mother daughter exchange. Shelby clearly very nervous about giving what should be great news in a normal scenario, says to her mother about the pregnancy, “ I think that it would help things a lot.” The mother knowingly says “I see.” The meaning is obvious. He is probably having an affair, but something negative is triggering that statement. Yes, I have seen the film about 100 times. I actually saw it when it premiered.

@@Duricas You are not analyzing, watching, nor listening to the exchange between the mother and daughter properly. The Shelby character, when announcing her pregnancy to her very upset mother who, unlike Jackson, understands how dangerous this pregnancy is for her, clearly says “ I think it would help things a lot.” The mother then looks at her knowingly and says “I see.” That statement is clear as crystal that she is trying to save this broken marriage because he is probably having an affair and there is a power imbalance in the relationship. in truth, he wants a baby of HIS own and she is afraid. She is essentially parroting his needs in trying to convince her mother that everything will be fine, yet is obviously extremely nervous to tell her mother what normally is great news. Why do suppose she is nervous? Think. To correct your flawed analysis, It does not take two to wear a condom, which he would have done if he truly cared about her health (not to mention her mother who lost a kidney as a result). Thank goodness that I do not have to resort to personal attacks when discussing a film critically. I can analyze. How unfortunate that you do not have that ability.

@@nanny287 I bet you are the type of person who blames everything on the man, right?

She wanted a child of her own! She wanted to experience that. I get it tbh, same reason women in their 40’s try so hard to have a baby or women with fertility issues do ivf. I feel like some people just won’t understand but I do.

I couldn’t get pregnant and I felt the same way., like my life wasn’t going to be special without being a mother.. I had a career, a home a loving husband and supportive relatives but I wanted a baby more than anything and I couldn’t logic myself out of the feeling. After seeing a fertility specialist for years I finally decided adoption was the best decision for us. We adopted in 2003. We brought our son home from the hospital when he was one day old and I’m so incredibly thankful for him.

The point was the reward was worth the risk at least in her mind .

We all have a right to realize our dreams. Having a baby was hers. The theme of this film is indeed the choice of three minutes of wonderful versus a lifetime of nothing special. We all have our own idea of wonderful.

Well, that's her. That's what SHE thought was special and SHE wanted to make her happy. Nothing wrong with it. We're all different.

It was for her.

​@veronicaa.1416 very true. Mother did everything she could but many times it's impossible to make other person understand logic or be reasonable. Mother had also talked to the groom about the brides health condition and had gotten his reassurance that he only cares about the bride 😢

I don't think it's ever really said. I think the real point was that they were having problems, and either Shelby decided having a baby would fix things, or Jackson implied that not having kids was the issue.

This line has bothered me for 15 years😂 I have come to the conclusion that Shelby knew her health was so bad and her body would eventually give out regardless. By her having a baby, it would be somewhat "easier" on the family. I also think this line can be interpreted in so many ways but I'm choosing to believe my version 😅

I always thought that maybe a judge would let them adopt once they saw she was capable of being a mom.

Their faces after that line... Shelby looks down in shame. And M'lynn's almost disgusted expression, eventually saying "I see." tells you everything you need to know. It's already an unspoken truth between them. Jackson sucks.

Or does he just a child no matter what? If he was cheating then I think he’s more of a piece of crap than I already thought he was.

And a mother never wants to hear that her child is putting their life in danger. No matter what. Sadly, her mother was right.

"No matter what" is a bit of a stretch. I don't think a pregnant raped woman wants to hear "congratulations". And a woman who does not want a child first needs support and comfort, not listening to other people's wishful thinking. There is no such thing as one universal point of view, open your eyes.

Life is a risk. Even healthy people can have babies and develop an illness later on. Life is the greatest risk and the biggest ones are those not taken.

Had no idea shes a southpaw. Those ppl give me the willys

@@actuary33both my sons are southpaws lol 😂

I think it really depends on the severity of the case of diabetes, and also this was filmed in the late eighties, based on a play written earlier, and so much has changed in health care for diabetics since then.

Remember, this was before we knew so much about diabetes. Diabetes care then and now are not the same.

This was written in the 60’s

@@carriemcclure7253No, it was not. It was written in the 80s, Shelby/Susan died in 1985.

In the movie, Shelby says that diabetic women give birth everyday. Her mother responds that she is a special case.

Not sure what this has to do with type 1 diabetes but I'm not shocked people on Ozempic are getting pregnant. Weight loss is often super helpful when trying to conceive regardless of how you get there. I have PCOS and a lot women who have it have better success when they get their weight down.

@@batkat0ozempic is a diabetic medication that has weight loss side effects if I’m not mistaken! Currently ozempic is actually lessening the effect of oral birth control

I thought about that too. The first baby born from gestational surrogacy was born in 1985, so maybe it could've been an option? It was still so new, though, that I would imagine the success rate was probably pretty low. And there probably weren't many places that did it.

Yes I couldn't and was advised not to. We adopted but man we have some tough kids but if I would have had one genetically medically health wise would have had a lot more issues

Shelby was a selfish pr1ck. She should've fixed her personal problems with therapy instead of having a k1d to help her feel less miserable. I can't stand selfish parents

@@carsonsmith8607the play was different

Yes, she wanted a child but it definitely sounds like she is saying the marriage is in trouble and the baby would save the marriage.

This was 30 years ago.

@@GiftSparks35 years ago.

This was filmed before surrogacy and written even longer ago.

⁠@@PurpleRose8725The Baby M case happened in the mid 80s. So yes, surrogacy was a thing.

It wasn’t a thing like it is now, sure it happened but medically it wasn’t quite there yet in terms of everyone having that option.

I thought he didn't care whether she was pregnant or not as long as they had enough other.

@@tamerawatkins510 he was a cheater

@@SUNFLOWER-vt8gi She shouldn’t have married him😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Some women may have to make that choice, and they should be able to, with just their doctor and no govt interference in their medical decisions!

Woman not women.

Still think the mother 😢

I honestly believe it was with her husband. 😢

@@AquaGirl953 probably

I think it has more to do with the severity. It's implied that Shelby's been in and out of hospitals all her life. But I couldn't tell you if it would be a true deterrent.

Back then when this movie was made. Yes.

I can't imagine that a private adoption would have been stopped. I think she just wanted to have a baby, regardless.

Jackson was a lawyer making big bucks, with lots of influential contacts. Adoption was not out of the question.

Babies are high in demand. It still could have been a long wait and these people didn’t seem ready to wait.

The worst part is she basically has the baby to save a failing marriage. She ends up dead and the boy has no mom, while Jackson is still young and rich and free to remarry.

@vegasgirl3538 and the so-called Pro Life brigade would have celebrated her choice. It genuinely sickens me. The more I think about it, the angrier I get. It just was so wrong on so many levels.

So everyone whose mother dies when they are young is doomed to a life not worth living, and should’ve been aborted? That’s a pretty extreme stance. Yes it was a selfish choice to have a baby when the risks are so high but killing a baby that already exists because it might suffer in life is actually wrong & twisted. Everyone suffers in life.

@liv.EJM4497 carrying the baby killed her. Even if it hadn't, she'd have been weak and infirm for life, I.e. unfit for motherhood. As extreme as my stance is, what Shelby did was sick and twisted.

@@tariqkhader6196 It's not even clear whether the pregnancy was really planned or if it just happened. In the 2012 remake she goes to a high-risk specialist and is extremely responsible with her blood sugar levels, only the same thing happens because diabetes can be unpredictable.