20 Things to start saying NO to today | SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE

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Simple Happy Zen

Simple Happy Zen

Жыл бұрын

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No is a very simple word, but it can be one of the most difficult ones to say. Learning to say no has been essential for me to create a more balanced, simple and peaceful life. Today, let's talk about 20 things to start saying NO to today, so you can find ways to simplify your life as well. :)
Lots of love,
🌼 Vera
FIRST TIME HERE? Welcome. This is a place where you can get weekly tips and inspiration for living a simpler, happier and calmer life. With this channel, I want to give everyone the opportunity to take a little break, to get inspired and to take care. We deserve to. Thank you for joining our community and subscribing, feel free to say hi if you’d like!
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RELATED VIDEOS TO WATCH NEXT
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Пікірлер: 530
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
I filmed today's video with a new microphone! 🎙 What do you think? 🤗👇
@pamelacooley6457
@pamelacooley6457 Жыл бұрын
Sounds good.❤
@sallgal
@sallgal Жыл бұрын
Sounds crystal clear! 😊
@TheLazyDumpling
@TheLazyDumpling Жыл бұрын
Sounds great 👍🏻
@kamloopscruiser874
@kamloopscruiser874 Жыл бұрын
Great sound!👍❤️
@noelani555
@noelani555 Жыл бұрын
Excellent sound quality and another excellent quality video, Vera. Thank you. I am still on my declutter journey, and your videos help me so much. Your video helped me to realise the reason I felt so "over done" this week was because I didn't take time to breathe in the "space in-between " I needed this valuable reminder. Thank you.
@reneeraw6927
@reneeraw6927 Жыл бұрын
My therapist taught me something wise; Children Explain, Adults Inform As adults we simply don’t need to explain our decisions to people. We just need to inform people. I used to feel the need to justify everything to others. Now I have stopped doing that and I feel so much better.
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Oh that's a helpful reminder! :)
@bex438
@bex438 Жыл бұрын
I really like this & will try to remember it going forward 😊
@jacquelinemcgowan8164
@jacquelinemcgowan8164 Жыл бұрын
Thats brilliant advice
@vonvildenschwert3045
@vonvildenschwert3045 11 ай бұрын
I know that I don’t have to explain anything but I still feel often guilty and have a feeling that I have to explain my decision. It’s a very hard fight and I still don’t win at all.
@marisacooper5364
@marisacooper5364 11 ай бұрын
You saved the best for last... I’m all about the moments in between the events to recharge take a breath, have a moment of gratitude -it’s a way that I ground into the present moment. Not having to explain myself, that comes with age; and thinking more before speaking. Wishlists 🙌🏻, and life isn’t all about my to do list?? I need to ponder that!
@ksk881
@ksk881 Жыл бұрын
I’m retired. I worked over 50 years in order to not have to answer for how I live my life. I enjoy my boring and mediocre life so much !😊 I also enjoy your channel so much!
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Happy to hear you're enjoying your retirement in a way that works for you! 🤗🌺🍵
@renee7567
@renee7567 Жыл бұрын
Every single point resonated with me! Wow! You covered it all! I'm going to have to rewatch the video, and type out a list of all the items to put into practice. Good job Vera!
@marciaodonnell3962
@marciaodonnell3962 Жыл бұрын
That’s my plan for my retirement which starts at 4:31 pm on July 31. I’m good about saying no and will continue with joy. 😊
@Crochetlady3-l1o
@Crochetlady3-l1o Жыл бұрын
Amen! Me too. Happily retired for 3 years at the beach. No more winters for me! IL to SC.🏝😊
@terrilynn8770
@terrilynn8770 Жыл бұрын
Yes I retired and love to answering to anyone. I love boring.
@mish7773
@mish7773 9 ай бұрын
"Time you enjoy wasting is not a wasted time." This is very comforting to know 😊
@marijaz349
@marijaz349 4 ай бұрын
Oh finally someone is saying no to "self-improvement!" I feel like nowadays this mantra has grown so fake in a way that one ALWAYS has to work on themselves to be better, as if we the way we are was never enough. This is being served to us as a part of a corporate bullshit that is so toxic. Thank you for including that point, it's very important.
@preethimn3
@preethimn3 9 күн бұрын
Yes corporate marketing so we learn skills n work for them, or we buy their products. Indirect benefitting them to earn more n more while we struck in depression of not doing what we should be, but truth we are good already
@elizabethsydnor5247
@elizabethsydnor5247 2 ай бұрын
Oh Vera, that is such a relief to hear someone say that we don't have to keep on perfecting ourselves every day. Getting better and better every day is so exhausting. Thank you for giving us permission to be good enough the way that we are, that's what God tells us also. We are good enough. He created us. We are excellent, just like we are. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
@jilloverton3630
@jilloverton3630 Жыл бұрын
I loved #20. My parents are always busy; and, I feel I was taught at a young age that every moment of every day should be used in a productive manner. Restful time is something that I still struggle enjoying.
@MyFocusVaries
@MyFocusVaries Жыл бұрын
Benita Larsen suggests putting fun things on your To Do list as a way to ease yourself away from constant productivity
@tejanagenie
@tejanagenie Жыл бұрын
Hi, Jill! I once wrote a short story I entitled, "Don't make me have fun--it's too stressful!" :D Our struggles are related. Best to you!😃
@Althea1111
@Althea1111 Жыл бұрын
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished - Lao Tsu Yeah, we don’t always have to be striving every second of the day. Just being feels so good 🙏
@mindbodyhome102
@mindbodyhome102 Жыл бұрын
The last tip, saying no to having to make every minute count, also struck me. The small moments of peace when nothing is really happening or I am not running around really are so important. We do not always have to be in motion or productive.
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
I agree! :) Thanks for sharing Margaret, have a wonderful day
@yogaetctina
@yogaetctina Жыл бұрын
I love your videos Vera, they are so inspiring to watch, but most of all I recognise myself in so many ways that you mention. I am loving the simple life and feeling truly content. Thank you so much for sharing ❤
@JellybeanHouseNewfoundland
@JellybeanHouseNewfoundland Жыл бұрын
Yes! Most of my most meaningful moments in life have been those moments when I wasn't doing anything "productive"--those moments when I stopped to feel the texture of a leaf, to watch a beetle walk across the water, to watch the birds eating mulberries in the garden, to read a story to one of my children, to really taste my food, to sit quietly with my husband for a few minutes and listen to his breathing. Those are the times that I've felt like I'd stepped outside of linear time, like I was living in eternity. People used to live like that all the time. The concept that time can get away from us and that we have to constantly rush to keep up with it is an invention of the industrial revolution and its equating of time with money. Time is life, and ironically, we are least alive when we are rushing about trying to get too many things done. Life really is in the spaces between the notes.
@mindbodyhome102
@mindbodyhome102 Жыл бұрын
@@JellybeanHouseNewfoundland So beautifully said!!
@usubenidango
@usubenidango 11 ай бұрын
I feel like I needed this, especially the toxic productivity one. I felt like I always had to work non-stop in order to matter, and when I was not working, I was being lazy. Then, I noticed it all had roots in low self steem, now that I work a healthy amount every day, I've been feeling much happier.
@costumej121
@costumej121 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for not making me feel like I am missing out! I work in hospitality and it's often go go go with no break to even eat. So when not in work I just sit( I don't have a TV) and think..and look at trees and birds outside my window. Life is about balance.
@jessicaj2391
@jessicaj2391 4 ай бұрын
It's always very difficult for HSPs to refuse. We are afraid to offend others. We prefer to offend ourselves. And, unfortunately, we are often trained to allow others to offend us.
@sver8495
@sver8495 Ай бұрын
Yes, we are raised to believe that we are not important, classmates are important, coworkers are important, country is important, elephants in Africa are important, but not us. We are taught that thinking of our own needs is selfish and evil. So it's always guilt. Especially when people (mostly relatives and friends) often make us feel they are unhappy bc it's us who didn't do enough to make them happy and satisfied.
@galaxy98765
@galaxy98765 Жыл бұрын
I have started saying "NO" to feeling like I have to answer other women's questions about my personal life. By that I mean, there are a lot of middle-aged or older women who ask me if I have children or grandchilddren, and when I say that I don't, I have noticed that I get judged severely, like they are thinking that there must be something wrong with me, and then they shun me. I can just be in a store looking at racks of clothes, and some woman I've never seen before will start talking about her kids or grandkids, then ask me if I have grandchildren. I can see the change come over them when I say that I don't. Or if a waitress in a Mexican restaurant I like to go to notices that I'm always in there by myself, will ask me if I have a family, and I say "no" (because they have all passed away), they immediately think there must be something wrong with me, and they never again are friendly or want to chat. I get ignored from then on. I guess, to these people, family and kids is everything. I have been in relationships with men, I just never married any of them, that's all. I'm kind of independent, and never regretted not getting married. I'm retired now, but have always had a rich life. It's been fun, and still kind of is, even with the aches and pains. I just got back from England where I was for three weeks and had so much fun (eleven-hour flight over there). Plus I saw my cousins for two weeks. I have so many wonderfull memories from my trip. One time I even lied to a woman who asked me if I have kids and grandchildren, and told her that I do. That works, too, if it's someone you have never seen before, and never will again, but I don't want to feel like I'm not being true to myself. Sometimes I pretend I just didn't hear them. In any case, I don't like being asked if I have grandchildren, because I know what their reaction will be. 😢😢😢
@lindabourcet1349
@lindabourcet1349 Жыл бұрын
I wonder why they want to know? I think it is because they want to talk about their children/grandchildren and so instead of answering the question, I just turn it back on them. ‘Do you have children?’ And let them talk. I was unable to have children and hated being asked those questions. I also hated people asking why we couldn’t have children and whose ‘fault’ it was or giving me ‘unwanted advice’ on how to conceive. I practiced what I wanted to say in front of a mirror so I was comfortable on what I was willing to share. With strangers or a nosy waitress I would just ignore the question and continue on with what I wanted to talk about (Do you have children? I’ll just have the soup and salad thanks). I learned some people have no filters on what they say and some people want to slot you into some category so they know how to treat you. If these intrusive questions come up regularly (older relatives are the worse offenders) practice some stock phrases from funny to rude or just stop talking and stare at them until they feel uncomfortable. Keep enjoying your child-free life and sharing your adventures with people who respect your decisions.
@mharrod258
@mharrod258 11 ай бұрын
Wow, I am shocked at their replies and reactions! I have no children and am single and have a very rich and happy life. I've worked with teenagers, and adored them, and our relationship was precious BECAUSE I don't have my own kids. I could relate to them in a different way I believe - 'aunties' play a very important role in the animal kingdom - humans need to remember that!!! My friends are my family and I have absolutely zero desire to hang out with the people that (allegedly) share DNA with me, and I also feel no need to explain that to strangers. Please remember that their limited view of what makes a person valuable - is THEIR loss, not yours!!!! And funnily, I do remember the first time I was asked if I had grandkids I was SO offended - because until that very moment, I had completely failed to even register that I was old enough for that to even be possible!! Hahahaha!!!
@mharrod258
@mharrod258 11 ай бұрын
@@lindabourcet1349 I am absolutely gob smacked reading this, at some people's ability to be so rude!!! I am so sorry you have had to engage with these sorts.
@galaxy98765
@galaxy98765 10 ай бұрын
​@@lindabourcet1349Hi Linda, I have been wanting to reply to your reply ever since you wrote it and thank you for your compassion, your wisdom, your great advice, and for sharing your story. I am so sorry for the heartache you have been through. And the atrocious (spelling?) and nervy things people have said to you! What is wrong with some people ?!? It sounds like you are good at handling those people, but I know it still stings when they ask personal questions and give you advice that you don't want or need. I am following your advice. Maybe, instead of giving any info at all about ourselves out to people, maybe we should just say, "That's a personal matter". Nosy people don't like to hear that. I loved it when you said to say, "I'll just have the soup and salad". That's a good one! 😂 Keep enjoying your life, too! You deserve to have a good one! I think we are on the right track, eh? (I would have written sooner, but have not been feeling well, and now I have covid after 3 and a half years of never having gotten it!) I hope you are well and happy, and thank you again for your compassion. You deserve the best. ❤ Gwen Washington state.
@Virginia-vn7ud
@Virginia-vn7ud 3 ай бұрын
When I was young I had similar experiences so I just decided to start making friends with women like me that never married and never had kids😊 worked fine and now retired with a good list of friends without kids or grandkids😊
@elizabethsydnor5247
@elizabethsydnor5247 2 ай бұрын
Thats GENIUS! Saying NO THANK YOU, while walking away, while smiling, is SO GOOD!!!
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen 2 ай бұрын
Hahaha works every time :)
@belindaknowles7440
@belindaknowles7440 Жыл бұрын
I feel much better now about spending so much time outside on my porch swing.😊
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
If you have a porch with a swing, it would be a shame not to spend lots of time there!! 😁🥰
@simplesoul1908
@simplesoul1908 28 күн бұрын
Blessed to be a part of this community! Take care you all. Remember: it's good to be natural and live authentically as you are. Do not change yourself for others. HSPs are inherently good people. Others need to be like you. YOU are the inspiration!
@Autisticheather
@Autisticheather Жыл бұрын
The last one i really needed to hear. I've recently discovered that I'm Autistic and I've also started a job that is extremely challenging challenging in every way. So when im not working i lay in bed and play solitaire and listen to useful and also fun you tube channels or an audio book. It makes me feel so cozy and relaxed and recharged. But i really struggle with the guilt that im not doing all the productive things. This made me feel so much better. Trust my body and my needs of rest
@MiriamWyatt-me6je
@MiriamWyatt-me6je 3 ай бұрын
Keep it up dearie! Take good care of you! 🥰💛
@creativelady7
@creativelady7 Жыл бұрын
I love and appreciate the beautiful calming, peaceful scenery you place within each comment.
@caron4725
@caron4725 11 ай бұрын
I really like when you said I could instead of I should... It's a good way to avoid beating yourself up
@rachaelharper3778
@rachaelharper3778 Жыл бұрын
Life is not about cramming things to make it productive. Sometimes we need time to rest and recharge ❤❤❤
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
I agree! :)
@bonniehafeman9757
@bonniehafeman9757 Жыл бұрын
I agree 👍. Thanks. Amen.
@msp4852
@msp4852 Жыл бұрын
The tip for being content and not needing constant self improvement is wonderful. I once made my New Years Resolution to “maintain” my current life and self, purposefully stopping myself from adding in yet another goal for some sort of growth. It was freeing!
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Awesome! :)
@amandaspain6438
@amandaspain6438 Жыл бұрын
Everything you say I know, agree with and believe - but hearing you say these things is so validating, reassuring and comforting! Thank you for your work 🙏
@Angelareadsalot
@Angelareadsalot Жыл бұрын
Turning off notifications on my phone has changed my life! And thanks to you, I now have the words to describe why…to engage in “deep work” and “deep rest.” People sometimes don’t understand or like that I may not get their message until the next day or reply right away. But as an HSP, it has done wonders for my anxiety, productivity, and general peace of mind.
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
So happy it's working out for you too!!! :D Being more intentional about our notifications is something I feel everyone needs to do :)
@monicalowy9689
@monicalowy9689 2 ай бұрын
You are such a wise person. I feel so much better after watching your videos.
@thephilguy1
@thephilguy1 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely say no to helping people where it will take so much of my energy for so little reward. It's not personal, it's just more efficient use of my time and energy. I can be a better friend in the long term if I'm not exhausting myself in the short term.
@loumoon7660
@loumoon7660 8 ай бұрын
I feel like this is one of the best videos I’ve seen
@andeeanko7079
@andeeanko7079 Жыл бұрын
Vera, you are incredibly wise - I'm nearly twice your age and only coming to terms with some of these tips recently. I agree with all of them ❤
@katyalauziere6858
@katyalauziere6858 6 ай бұрын
I love your "non-productive" approach. I am also kind of done with the constant need for productivity and personal growth books and classes and everything. I too want to enjoy my simple boring life and be happy about it. I don't want to feel bad anymore because my son doesn't play hockey 4 times a week and doesn't have painting classes and 16 other obligations in a week. We want to be free of burden and spend the little time we have in this life with each other in a loving and stressless environment. 🤗
@user-bv6rl8mw6m
@user-bv6rl8mw6m 4 ай бұрын
This video is my go to. This is such a honest video that shows how we can actually simplify things. This video actually made me introspect and i realised i was being too much of a yes person and most things you mentioned are so so true in my life. Thank you so much for this video
@elizabethsydnor5247
@elizabethsydnor5247 2 ай бұрын
Vera, thank you for mentioning that. It's so important not to run yourself and your health in the ground. Trying to help everyone. That needs you when it will take away from your life and then you won't be able to work and you won't be able to provide for your family because you're giving to too many people. Thank you for mentioning that.
@anitatoteva9074
@anitatoteva9074 Жыл бұрын
The sound is great. And I want to mention this hairstyle suits you best.
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Thanks so much and glad you like the sound!!!
@chrisoulalakkas7935
@chrisoulalakkas7935 Жыл бұрын
Imagine finding friendship and love in the same person. Dating someone who befriends you, understands you, appreciates you, supports you, makes you feel safe, grows with you, heals with you, and breaks toxic patterns with you.
@Karincl7
@Karincl7 Жыл бұрын
Now put all that love in the person in the mirror
@patriciafisher3108
@patriciafisher3108 Жыл бұрын
From this time forward I plan to crate my to do list, titled " I COULD '' Thank you for this tip. This makes me feel less pressured to do items on the list ASAP. In the end, these are options not demands.
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Awesome!! 😊❤
@susanspisak65
@susanspisak65 Жыл бұрын
Wonderful tips !!! I especially love the “I could ….not the… I would “ I have struggled so much with a diagnosis of panic disorder since I was 27 years old …. Now 57, I still have to work on this and it makes such a difference in my daily life! Saying I could do something instead of I needed to do something !!! Beautiful video…as always!
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Thank you Susan!! :) Have a great day
@M_SC
@M_SC Жыл бұрын
Surely it was worse before you had a diagnosis though, having a diagnosis (of something else) is very helpful to me, It’s something you can say to others, something that deserves care.
@sallgal
@sallgal Жыл бұрын
I can relate to all of these! The one that stuck out the most to me was the whole sleep thing. I love getting enough peaceful sleep and I can’t stand being in environments where it’s loud or not conductive to sleep.
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Sleep is the best isn't it 😅🥰 I can't believe I didn't want to sleep when I was a kid. We also got blackout curtains recently and I never want to go back hahahaha
@sallgal
@sallgal Жыл бұрын
@@SimpleHappyZen it really is! 🙏😴 it’s the most restorative thing ever. I work overnights and sleep during the day so I totally understand and appreciate the blackout curtains 😊
@StephanieMandala-rr1ke
@StephanieMandala-rr1ke 3 ай бұрын
I was actually surprised to hear you say that sometimes some folks leave negative comments to you. Your channel has been an absolute blessing to Me 🙏 There's nothing you've ever said in any of your channel's videos that is negative. Anyhow, Keep up thee amazing work you've been doing with your channel. You're helping so many people. Of course, If it ever gets to be too much, taking a break from it is Okay. See, YOU taught ME that. You're truly a God send in My life. 🙏 Thank you for what your doing for some of us out here with your channel.
@katrina5489
@katrina5489 6 ай бұрын
This has become my favorite channel by far. Thanks for the tips! 😊
@debbiedean3165
@debbiedean3165 2 ай бұрын
❤️Time you enjoy wasting, isn't wasted time. ❤️Music is the time in between the notes. I've never heard this quote but instantly I thought, there it is, life is there, I think frequently that is where I have special moments with God. Also not waiting on people who just keep you waiting. So much good advice, thank you 😊
@DomChic
@DomChic 10 ай бұрын
Microphone was great! You're awesome!
@lisettecampbell2138
@lisettecampbell2138 Жыл бұрын
What wonderful wisdom! Thank youuu! Replacing "should" with "could" already feels like a game changer and I loved the suggestion of not having to defend yourself with unrealistic expectations.
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Thanks Lisette! 😊 Glad you found some helpful tips in here
@kirstinstansbury2017
@kirstinstansbury2017 Жыл бұрын
I agree about replacing should wit could and will try to implement this myself.
@dk0412
@dk0412 9 ай бұрын
I'd actually implemented something based on that a while ago. I would feel paralyzed by long to-do lists full of stuff that wasn't super high priority, but I "should" get done that day. So I called it a "list of things I can do today", which helped me feel better about just picking a couple and doing those, and not feeling as bad about not accomplishing the entire list.
@CrZY8650
@CrZY8650 Жыл бұрын
💖💖💖 this video made me cry, I needed to hear all of this
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
🌷
@kierlak
@kierlak Жыл бұрын
#13 oh yes ! So important ! As INFJ/HSP pretty much most people in my life are like that. Luckily I can spot one-sided relationships very quickly. It's important to practice your boundaries and stick to them. #17 super important ! (Authenticity and values and staying true to them) #18: my phone is ALWAYS on silent (no vibration, no notification) so you're lucky if I answer your call. Most of the time I return missed calls instead. Great video. About what you can start saying NO to. In fact when you look at it, one thing that we all should stop saying NO to is: ourselves ❤
@chrstopherblighton-sande2981
@chrstopherblighton-sande2981 Жыл бұрын
I shall have to rewatch this video several times and take it all in, because there were so many wonderful points I want to give extra thought to. I struggle to say no to people and will instinctively say yes, but of course every yes is also a no; a no to another activity I could have been doing, no to rest, no to peace of mind and so forth. Your tip of giving yourself some space by saying you need to think about your response first, has been incredibly helpful for me. I'm with you on the self-improvement and needing to make every minute count thing! I think that too much focus on these can actually create a sense of dissatisfaction in life, because it implicitly contains the notion that one's self or one's life are not actually OK as they are now. As you say this doesn't contradict the value of personal growth, but that can be achieved organically and not in a forced way.
@joank5585
@joank5585 Жыл бұрын
I love that quote, “music is the time in between the notes”, we do need to pause and breathe, I like my mediocre life it gives me space to reflect on my life and it is sort of a reset, I’m always more productive when I slow down. These are such great suggestions to say no and actually enrich our life, not so easy to do but I’ve been doing it for a while now and it really works, thnx for these suggestions Vera 🤔🌿🌱🍃
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts Joan, like what you said about saying no more in order to enrich your life :)
@vesnamatana3
@vesnamatana3 Жыл бұрын
Bravo, Vera! I agree whith lot of written things. WHy do we have to do more, to have more to ....more? No, we don't. I don't want. I love my lazy afternoons doing - nothing. Greatings from Dubrovnik, Croatia
@simplesoul1908
@simplesoul1908 28 күн бұрын
Thank you so much angel for making this video. All points extremely true and correct. People take note of these points. The sooner they're imbibed, the greater the peace you'll experience. Please always make videos. Never stop. You're so wise and inspiring, and there's so much people can learn from you. God bless you abundantly!
@daisyrowaro44
@daisyrowaro44 Жыл бұрын
Great video ! Thank you so much !
@MiguelSousapiano
@MiguelSousapiano Жыл бұрын
Love this!
@mercedesdulawan4662
@mercedesdulawan4662 Жыл бұрын
I am "good" as I am. I no longer need self-improvement techniques. I don't have to make every moment count. Thank you.
@user-sx6qd3rf4n
@user-sx6qd3rf4n 9 ай бұрын
Omg! The info is so useful!!! Thank you!!!!
@T.T.M.60
@T.T.M.60 Жыл бұрын
My favorite is thinking of I could instead of I should. I love that!
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Happy to hear it!!! :)
@jacquelinemcgowan8164
@jacquelinemcgowan8164 Жыл бұрын
Today we always want answers and to know everything so we force others to comply and so being individual and refusing to follow makes us the odd ball. Often our privacy is compromised and I for one feel I am tired of explaining myself, being bullied and a people pleaser has damaged me so much. The bible says live a quiet life, mind your own business and do your work well. I think that will save me a lot of hassle and grief. Thankyou Vera lv your channel
@susanbhatt3128
@susanbhatt3128 4 ай бұрын
The one that really resonated with me was about people who only contact me when they want something from me. I have several people like that, and it bothers me no end, but I am afraid always, that I may end up with very few “friends”. I am very far from my family and am afraid of being alone. But I am learning, finally, that this is just silly, and will get me nowhere. Real friends do not behave that way, and, if I only have ONE friend left, that is enough. I plan to watch more of your very valuable videos,thank you.
@bonniehafeman9757
@bonniehafeman9757 Жыл бұрын
The con+stant pressure to make sense of others expectations. Thanks.
@sornlooksorn5776
@sornlooksorn5776 Жыл бұрын
❤Ur content! ThankU!!! 🌼💐🌼💐
@jennifercochrane8905
@jennifercochrane8905 Жыл бұрын
Great video and it truly resonated with me, especially the point of "saying yes at too great an expense to myself". 🥰
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Thank you Jennifer, glad that one resonated with you! I find it very helpful to think about which side is 'bigger' before I reply yes or no 😊
@clairedebbs9972
@clairedebbs9972 Жыл бұрын
Saying no to constant self-improvement. Game changer. Yes, enjoying where I am now, how and who I am now. That's it. What a relief and reason für contentedness. 😊
@bonniehafeman9757
@bonniehafeman9757 Жыл бұрын
Recorded excellently. Thanks.
@victoriamorris8678
@victoriamorris8678 Жыл бұрын
nb 20 absolutely!! also saying no to society's expectations like going on holidays.... I looove my staycations😁😊🌸
@sunnyday4589
@sunnyday4589 Жыл бұрын
I really wish when I tell people ‘no’ that they wouldn’t say…why not? Why is my ‘no’ not good enough???? I really do t want to say ‘because I said so’ but I don’t feel like I owe them an explanation either. Loved this video 💕
@TheBestSelfGuide6-StepSy-xo6vh
@TheBestSelfGuide6-StepSy-xo6vh 6 ай бұрын
Vera, with your guidance (I am taking your 20-week course now) I am now collecting those "No"s and feel excited each time. You are fabulous!
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen 6 ай бұрын
Awesome!!! 🤗🥰👏
@ms.schnapp7415
@ms.schnapp7415 Жыл бұрын
Love these! Really appreciated hearing #9. I'm so much more comfortable not needing to be liked by everyone. Many people have come and gone, and I realize I valued being part of a group. Now I only invest in strong connections.
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Well said!! ❤❤❤
@softsophisticate
@softsophisticate Жыл бұрын
Making friends is hard as even if you get on well with someone, they are often so busy with their lives that they don't have time to invest in new relationships, and maybe just going out for a coffee with a new friend for a chat is what they need. A chance to get off the hamster wheel for a while..
@Alana-b
@Alana-b Жыл бұрын
So much merit in everything you have said. Quite a few points if not all resonated with me. Toxic productivity, constant self improvement, eating food that doesn’t make me feel good, compromising my values and more. Excellent video as always! Thank you❤
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Glad to hear you found so many points here that resonated with you! Have a lovely weekend :)
@denisemcdougal6445
@denisemcdougal6445 Жыл бұрын
Twenty thank you’s .
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Twenty you're welcomes!! 😁💕
@sharonshmuel3386
@sharonshmuel3386 Жыл бұрын
Hi Vera this was such a great list of tips. Loved that NO is a complete sentence. I can relate to everything you mentioned! I wish I had been more assertive in my younger years- I’m now 64. Good for you learning to say NO. You look so pretty & your new 🎤 is very good. Lol ❤
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Aw thank you for your kind words Sharon :) And also, better later than never I think!! :)
@lax2469
@lax2469 Жыл бұрын
Thanks zen as always
@mikemetague7973
@mikemetague7973 Жыл бұрын
As an older Highly Sensitive Person, I believe all twenty of these resonate strongly! Most seem to take most of a lifetime to learn, but to value ourselves, we need to learn them. I like the Bertrand Russell quote, "Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." An old folkie wrote (Lui Collins/"Rooty Toot Toot for the Moon"), "You know you can't memorize zen ♫"
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Ah that one's cool too! :) Thanks for sharing :)
@rahamadhuparna
@rahamadhuparna Жыл бұрын
Just perfect Vera❤
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
🤗🌷
@tiianieminen2381
@tiianieminen2381 10 ай бұрын
that's so true. you can say no without explaining or proving something all the time. no is a complete sentence. also not participating in bullying comments. just let them be there and do nothing.
@annalatorre5315
@annalatorre5315 9 ай бұрын
Questo video mi piace perché sento vibrare tante emozioni. Grazie. Sei fantastica e autentica. Thanks a lot from Italy❤
@trudichristie8368
@trudichristie8368 11 ай бұрын
Good morning, I really like your suggestion of leaving time in between. Thank you so much
@MDHardingTravelPhotography
@MDHardingTravelPhotography Жыл бұрын
Love the quote, music is what happens between the notes. Thank you:)
@danilouise
@danilouise Жыл бұрын
LOVE LOVE LOVE this! Thank you!
@hazelsalvador4849
@hazelsalvador4849 9 ай бұрын
I am watching your vlog at 3am. And all of your advices are true to me. Thanks!
@MsDoglover02
@MsDoglover02 Жыл бұрын
My big one was not everyone has to like me. I was just promoted on Friday and am going through a similar circumstance that you did. Thanks for the reminder!
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
You're very welcome! And congratulations on your promotion! :)
@MsDoglover02
@MsDoglover02 Жыл бұрын
@@SimpleHappyZen Thanks!
@johannathorisdottir2456
@johannathorisdottir2456 Жыл бұрын
You are so awesome and this is so my life now! I´m a minimalist and i live a very boring life a small life and very quiet life . And i love it cus it´s my life and a peaceful life! I´m so happy and my home feels awesome
@unplannedjourneys4066
@unplannedjourneys4066 Жыл бұрын
Great points especially the obsession to be productive and constant self-improvement. It takes wisdom to come to the realisations that you have pointed out in this video.
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Thank you! Happy to hear you enjoyed the video :)
@wendywertz8828
@wendywertz8828 Жыл бұрын
Every Sunday single but of advice is so valuable thank you .
@mydakhan3994
@mydakhan3994 8 ай бұрын
Superb video ! Amazing content! Love from Pakistan
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen 8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much :)
@clairedebbs9972
@clairedebbs9972 Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Vera, once again for brightening up my day. It makes so much more sense to me now, hue drained I feel after work where I am officially forced into being even more productive, faster, more multitasking... Not accepting other people's "no" (I work in sales). And the dilemma of doing my job "properly" and sacrificing my inner convictions (which would be not to push people and ignore the first "no(s)" or being the person that I am and want to be, bring polite, respectful and accepting, but "failing" my job description.
@bonniehafeman9757
@bonniehafeman9757 Жыл бұрын
Another good message. Thanks. Amen.
@jennierollins8789
@jennierollins8789 Жыл бұрын
This video is packed with very useful information for your well being. They all resonate with me. The one that really struck a cord is when people only contact you when they want something. I removed those types of people from my life. You will find that you have so much time for yourself. ☮️🌍🌲
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen Жыл бұрын
Thank you Jennie, glad you enjoyed the video! 😊❤
@MySkycastles
@MySkycastles Жыл бұрын
If it were up to me, this quote would go down in history: "Without space, our lives would be full and yet still feel empty"
@ssr846
@ssr846 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much on speaking on this topic. Could relate a lot.
@therealbrentrolland
@therealbrentrolland 6 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@SimpleHappyZen
@SimpleHappyZen 6 ай бұрын
Wow Brent, thanks so much for your superthanks! 😊🍵🌱 I really appreciate it. Have a lovely day!!
@therealbrentrolland
@therealbrentrolland 6 ай бұрын
@@SimpleHappyZen You’re most welcome, Vera! I love your videos and appreciate your stand on how to live life. I relate to burnout and not stopping to take care of myself. I loved hearing saying no to things I’m not comfortable with. And, I also love you’re a fan of Ghibli and sushi. :) Keep going with your excellent videos; blessings!!
@Crochetlady3-l1o
@Crochetlady3-l1o Жыл бұрын
So true. Love your videos! Thank you!
@tejanagenie
@tejanagenie Жыл бұрын
I discovered your channel yesterday and really enjoyed it. Today I couldn't resist watching this video. I can relate to many of the "say-no-to" things you listed. This one REALLY stands out for me because I was raised always to be productive: We don't have to cram every single second with meaningful, productive, and/or exciting activities. LOVED the quote about music as the space between the notes. Visual art and decorating our homes rely on the same concept - the eye needs a place to land, to rest for a bit. Thank you for sharing your philosophy. It's a wonderful balance to my overachieving, perfectionistic tendencies. 😊♥🌻
@annemay3897
@annemay3897 11 ай бұрын
I laughed out loud at "no can be a complete sentence", so much recognition in all of these things. This was very helpful!
@penny3767
@penny3767 Жыл бұрын
Brilliant. So wise. Thank you 🙏 ❤
@pianopizzazzstudio7146
@pianopizzazzstudio7146 11 ай бұрын
I’m really enjoying your content and you are so pleasant to watch and listen to.
@bonniehafeman9757
@bonniehafeman9757 Жыл бұрын
Totally understand what you are saying. Thanks.
@bonniehafeman9757
@bonniehafeman9757 Жыл бұрын
Wise lady. You are appreciated. Thanks.
@yogaetctina
@yogaetctina Жыл бұрын
I love your videos Vera, they are so inspiring to watch, but most of all I recognise myself in so many ways that you mention. I am loving the simple life and feeling truly content. Thank you so much for sharing ❤
@chirovandenbos2339
@chirovandenbos2339 Жыл бұрын
I change my life radical in a good way for myself because everything is relativ.... Happyness starts inside you and not with extern factors like status, money, material things that means nothing and its an illusion create out of emptyness.... I choose to live my life alone and have more strength, power, happyness, time, peace.... The more people around you, the more expectations, talk about others, jealousy, frustrations, opinions, double agenda, hate, negativity etc.... People are programmed robot slaves of the system only busy with own benefits.....empty inside. No, i am not better then others.....i am awake and be carefull. Be the light in this dark broken world
@_Anouk_
@_Anouk_ Жыл бұрын
Ik vond ze allemaal erg goed, maar de laatste sprong er voor mij bovenuit!!🙌😃 Zó goed dat je zulke video's maakt, je helpt mensen hier écht mee en dat is super ❤
@feliciag6075
@feliciag6075 Жыл бұрын
Thank you ! Those are very good reminders to feel calmer in life.
@heliamartins3378
@heliamartins3378 Жыл бұрын
All Points are amazingly ressonante to me . 🙏🙏
@petadiana6016
@petadiana6016 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Vera, it's so calming to listen to you - I listened twice !😊💕
@pmw3839
@pmw3839 Жыл бұрын
So young, yet so wise. I am guilty of all those things, and completely agree with you.
@sharonche5042
@sharonche5042 11 ай бұрын
Haven't watched your videos for a while now but KZfaq suggested one of yours so I subscribed again and found this one. You are looking relaxed and happy and I very much enjoyed what you have to say here 🦋
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