Everyday of my life.

👍👍👍👍👍👍

That's deep. :[

Exactly!!!

The Truth. I am a Beast at work I am an unloader. It's a workout, it creates endorphins. But my coworkers FUCK all that up.

Good Gracious Because they feel threatened and people like this are more insecure than they will admit. They join the group to fit in rather than be themselves and stand apart. It takes courage to do that and many people would rather just fit in. Small minded insecure people.

Adults in the workplace ARE worse than covert highschool bullies. Sorry for the one man up manship, i just really feel strongly about this subject and the fact that people behave so poorly. I think people go through life looking for guidance or authority from some source but in modern society there is none. Me and you are moral agents, responsible for our behavior but many people are not aware of what they owe there fellow colleagues.

This has happened where I work, there is “golf buddy” club which is a form of social gateway. In 15 years I haven’t fitted and don’t want to run after a cliche .. I turn up for money not praise.

its is kinda of gashlighting, psychological violence i have to say .... if they dont talk to you , dont invite you, dont let you participated. they dont like you, they excluded you and they know it ! periodt ! you feel this in your guts and they dont give a f*ck about you. so it is better to find somewhere else to work or work alone than be in a place that can damage you health , self esteem and self worth. nobody deserves to be excluded ! you deserve be respected ! quit is a good decision in this case.

Bullies never grow up! Those are the same people that were bullies when they were kids....😵🤮🖐️

I'm currently working as a dealer in a casino. On top of the social exclusion from the people I see most I have to put on a smile and entertain players that come to my table, whether I'm depressed or not. It's brutal. Everyone is pretty close here, the new people cycled in are pretty accepted. I've even had a request from another department's supervisor from another employee that I not be allowed near their area. My supervisor shut that down, thankfully. but that hurt. I'm finally going to speak my mind and feelings to HR. I can't make people want to interact with me, but I can vent and let go of everything I have bottled up.

Rikyjn how did it come out?

I finally went to HR soon after i made the previous comment, and just vented. I had no expectations going in, like I couldn't go in there and ask for people to stop ignoring me or whatever. I just wanted things taken off my shoulders. She talked with me and I felt better just knowing someone at work knew. She said I'm not the only one that has come to her saying they feel so isolated at work. So I guess although it looks like everyone gets along around me, some aren't. She was irritated about the department request thing, because I did nothing to justify needing action to be taken in the first place, and also nobody brought it to her desk that there was a problem being discussed between managers. So she conducted her own investigation about what happened and why it never came to her. Nothing came of it, never heard about it again. Here lately, things have been much better for me around work. It's been a long time since I've felt depressed, and things haven't bothered me. What's more I'm getting along better with some of my coworkers and I still only talk to like 4 people while I'm there, and not even every day.

I want to add what I think is some helpful advice that I made up myself to break the illusion I had set on all the people around me. So I had this perception that everyone was in good company of each other at work. I kinda made a graph in my mind with circles for each coworker I could think of. I connected circles of people that talked to each other regularly. I was more focused on which circles weren't connecting. Like how the really beautiful and charismatic girl doesn't talk to my pitboss or one of the other women I work with. My pitboss is very outspoken and some people are drawn to her rowdy attitude. But she talks to me a lot if she sticks around our pit long enough, and some other people. She doesn't talk to most departments even. She just doesn't want to. One guy just talks to everybody like he loves life, he doesn't know barriers too well- bad example lmao. So what I'm doing is creating a new perception for myself that not everybody talks to each other and has great friendships that I'm being left out of or anything! I thought about the people I try to talk to. The guy that talks to everybody, my pitboss, 2 other dealers on the shift after mine, 2 security guards, and that's basically it. and I don't see any of those people more than 3 times a week. BUT, my circle looks just like everyone else's: connected to some people, not connected to others. The only reason why it feels like they're all connected is because we're only paying attention to the loudest people that are throwing their energy and charisma back and forth at each other, feeding off of each other. Meanwhile, I can talk with my pitboss about her kids, what we're doing on our days off, or how her work is driving her up the wall lol Dont think about the people someone that doesn't interact with you hangs out with, find the people they don't. Set that as the social standard, that they're just like you and have people they like talking to and people they don't like talking to, just as you do.The only difference between us that struggle with exclusion and them is that they're much louder than we are. Heck, I've made it case to start talking much louder, use courtesy words out of respect, put a smile on my face every time i interact with someone, and make sure people around me know HI, I'LL BE YOUR DEALER FOR THE NEXT 20 MINUTES AND WE'RE GONNA WIN SOME MONEY TONIGHT! and my interactions with players are more fun, and I've gotten comments from coworkers like "What's goin on with you lately? You're just always in a good mood and radiating this positive energy!" There are still lots of people around work that won't even say good morning back to me when I talk to them. but you know, fuck'em, they can't be worth that much of my time, right? I also watch a lot of videos from people like Matthew Hussey (and I'm a guy, so that's how good his content is that I can flip it around and work for me) and Tripp Advice. Not to pick up girls, necessarily ( although it has helped), but to learn how to just interact with people more comfortably and confidently. and definitely... lots of matthew hussey lol and role models like Danny Avidan and Jon Olsson.

Rikyjn Rikyjn lol i love your enthusiasm about making money, i'm happy that you improved yourself so much ^^ i also watch some Matthew Hussey's videos from time to time which resonate with me. I'm a girl, but he's really a role model person, i learned a lot about emotions with him and also good advice that you're giving out there, thanks ^^

Totally agree,. Its Still a type of bullying from school, usually the nice guys r the target...

@@andyg817 I'm grateful I retained my sanity. The expectation that you maintain "the appearance" of everything being on the up and up is crazy-making...

@@andyg817 And they do it to people who want to excel...that is so crazy too.

Lack of empathy

​@@kr1221Eyes true lack of emphaty

Traci Vela I’m sorry that you’re going through this terrible thing. It’s interesting how many of us are experiencing this problem. It’s comforting knowing that I’m not alone in this. Stay strong. Jesus loves you!

Write down everything that happens around you. Date, time and people involved. Start documenting. Send a written certified letter. It's ok if they ignore you or they are not doing anything after your letter. You are documenting. You can file for Work Compensation Stress plus Employment lawer. It's sad that we have to sue to get basic respect. Your job will only start respecting you when you have a lawyer involved.

Yes this is happening to me. And it's bad when someone new is hired . At first they talk to me . But it's like the ones that don't talk to me tell them not to talk to me. We have a break room and everyday I sit by myself and am isolated

what else they do to you. Do they give food to everybody and they exclude you, and they do that all the time? What else they are doing to you? Do they give dirty look, cold shoulder, do they sabotage training? do they train you different, such as bad, poor training, and with another person they give all the support, train very well, etc. Do they say Hello, or Hi, smile, head nod to everybody in the room except to you? Make a journal, date, time, people involved, the abusers, and the people around when it's happening. keep the journal at your purse, at your home and a copy on somebody else home. And make the complaints to HR in writing with certified mail. We all know what's is normal and what's not normal. And the abusers know what they are doing. If the HR fires you and do other kind of retaliation, transferring you, etc, it's even better, you case gets very strong. And don't confront the abusers, the less you speak, the better, just be professional, cordial, and that's it. sealed lips, wide open eyes and years. Read a book about mobbing, there are many out there. and when you read it, you will think, "OMG, all these things are happening to me". Even 3rd world country has already laws preventing and punishing companies and the abusers for mobbing employees. The whole mission of a mob is to destroy you to make you quit, or to be fired, or to be sick no matter how wonderful person you are, no matter how bad, mediocre, or ordinary person you are. Mob is evil.

@@kuehnel16 that's so sad to hear.i hope you are coping better.i always go out of my way for new ppl cos i know how it feels.now I'm new but it's been 2 months and im still alone.some days I'm ok some days i struggle emotionally.empathy...so lacking

So true.

Donna Philben Terrible workplace culture. Smile and wave, then look for another job.

That's so rude of them, Good Morning Donna :)

I used to great colleagues, they did respond tho. But overtime I noticed they never greated me whenever they walked past etc I've since stopped. I think with social media and what not, namely Facebook which is essentially a little shrine for oneself, peoples social skills have gone to sh*t.

vitamincisgoodforme This is what happens when you add people from work it ruins your job and relationships at work. You should always keep work life separate or don’t do any social media because it can cause problems at work. If you still want to stay on social media just block all your coworkers and everything would be cool. It can also cause gossiping too at work at whatever you like or post on it.

Mike D I don't use Facebook so I don't have that problem. If you do use it and you block a co-worker and they realise you've purposely blocked them, well get yourself ready for some drama.

Make a journal, date, time people involved, place etc. Law is being created about this mobbing thing. Even some 3rd world country, the law already exist. Boss and HR, don't take the matter to them verbal, do in writing. and use a lot e-mail.

You can sue them form indirect firing.

@@tutsecret499 Yes, I agree - writing and audio recordings are best. Word of mouth alone can be quite subjective. Hard undeniable evidence makes the case. A lot of corruption exists unchecked because people are desperate and scared to lose their income, but our own health must always come first when the stress is destroying our sleep and life.

Yes- mob mentality.

Absolutely.

RussMC sorry to hear that, maybe consider looking for another job, if it seems you can't resolve things.

Omg. Cliques. Backstabbers. And staff that are overly chatty and overly familiar with inmates (I work at a prison) all sum up to my social exclusion and it is toxic. Omg (I’m getting more heartburn as I’m mentioning this)

It happens to those on the autism spectrum all the time

@@Dancestar1981 Sure, but what does this have to do with autism?

@@nazcarcup People with Asperger's syndrome get this kind of treatment from coworkers. It has happened to me all my life. I get Really Tired of being the outcast.

@@nazcarcup Social exclusion happens a lot to autistic people. I would argue more than non autistic people so it has a lot to do with autism.

bullying, mobbing, exclusion, negative inclusion impact your equal employment opportunity, it impact your supervisor's making decision to make you grow. This evil environment put you in disadvantage towards other workers no matter how wonderful employee you are. The gang wants you to quit, to be fired, to be a mediocre or fail. Make a jornal, date, time, people involved and also make a list of your work and make an statistic report, how much your work, and how much other people work. When you get your supervisor evaluation on your work, and then make a complaint to HR in writing. The more they ignore you, the better. Do your part. If they document you, why you can document them? Don't you love when you are right?

That's one hell of a theory you have written there, being the center of attention sure can put you in a vulnerable position. With my current job, I've remained as an introvert who just does his job, goes home and gets paid at the end of the month. This new demeanor and attitude at work has resulted in me passing probation and keeping the job for over a year, which means my new demeanor and attitude is working.

Gosh. Especially I work in a prison and my major challenge is my work cliques

@@ryanfresh8521 you mean you have to work with others?

@Regina George try not to, make the experience make you stronger, learn something from it.

Gosh story of my life right now. And I’m still on probation. I’m even orienting so many new comers because I know the job well and I do it tirelessly. And then I see cliques around me. I’m totally disgusted at this scene.

Same!

Sorry to hear that, keep strong and do what you have to do to resolve the issue. Don't ignore the problem, you need to do something about it.

I'm so sorry Marlina. I'm dealing with the same things. Particularly the "mean girl clique" at work. it's brutal, and I understand your pain.

@@toddlerandbabylearningvide2331 im sorry for you.i dont understand why ppl have to be mean.what joy do they get in it?im taking it one day at a time.sometimes i still cry when it gets too hard.im 34 now.but i have started accepting being alone at work.slowly.

@@marlinabasir I also don't understand why people are so ignorant and rude. Today was really bad. I've even tried therapy and they tell me to just work on my confidence (probably because they don't know how else to help!). It's the fact that my coworkers say rude things to each other like, "remind me to tell you something later... in PRIVATE", when the only extra person there is ME. That's beyond rude. I would never say I need to speak privately with a coworker around another coworker. We all have the exact same job. And the girl who said that is finishing her masters degree to become a psychologist. I mean, REALLY?!

@@JReed1985 thank you

Sorry to hear that :( After experiencing the same trauma, I now have a new job where I don't feel socially excluded, mainly because I accept and welcome the idea of avoiding friendships at work. If you came to make friends at work, then you are in the wrong place!

@@JReed1985 very true. I wished we had cubicles since it was an office so it's really stressful when you cannot avoid them at all. It took a toll on me. Especially when some would talk politics and it made me intensely uncomfortable because I was the minority in the group

@@zurigonzalez6720 I know the feeling, we want to avoid people we don't feel connected to because we don't want to get involved. My other reason is because I don't want to develop any feelings for my colleagues, and I'm not talking about romantic feelings.

@@JReed1985 We say we shouldn’t make friends at work but then we also say we are wired to get in with others around us.

@@PeteS_1994 well we feel compelled to get noticed by our coworkers and tell them a little bit about ourselves, but I try to resist that temptation.

Yep...

Sorry to hear that, just to let you know that you are not alone.

Same sorry you’re going through it too!

Same I finished last year of highschool being excluded unexpectedly from people I only nothing but a lot of good helps and advice and all ,not that being enough for my mental health tiredness and disappointment then also the summer I got family exclusion from my cousins which would porpously insist to invite me to hang out with meanwhile I didn't want to because I had things to do and the very moment I left my things to hang out with them then they wasted my time with exclusion. Then summer ending,in my work experience I got ,my colleagues and clients exclude me. Exclusion is worst thing to do to others and very rude. So feels like old high school traumatizing memories all over again came back after I clearly moved on from those situations

Sounds like we both experienced the same trauma, we were both socially excluded at one job and the next job we made a vow to avoid friendships with colleagues, and focus on our work. I will admit, being at my new job does bring back that pain (kind of like PTSD) and I do feel like I could break down and cry, but I didn't. On the positive side, I was able to keep my job and be one of the best (if not the best) workers on the team, so it looks like choosing to avoid friendships at work has had a positive outcome. Like you I do try to be friendly to colleagues (at least greet and acknowledge them), but I try not to get embroiled in any conversations with them. I guess it turns out that you don't need friendships at work to be successful at your job. At the end of the day, the way I see it, you come with no one and you leave with no one; which is why I don't believe in friends at work.

@@JReed1985 thank you my friend.i don't like to sit and gossip either.i thought things through.im a bit better now.at least i know I'm stronger.i can lunch alone and I'm fine.i can start a new job and be lonely but I'm fine.while they are the one who can't accept changes and afraid of new ppl.i will continue to be kind as long as no one is rude.but im not hard up for companions. thank you for sharing.life is so short, its not worth it to shed a tear for these ppl.

@@marlinabasir That sounds like a positive attitude you have there, and the best way to recover. Just having a good friendly working relations with your colleagues is fine, as long as they leave you to do the work, then you should be fine. I will agree with the advice the presenter acknowledged in this video "You don't go to work to make friends." I think it defeats the whole purpose of your job if you come to work just to make friends and not care about the work. These days, finding work is not easy and it would be an insult to those who struggle to find work, because you took that job for granted and cared more about your peers. Is English your first language? Just wondering because of the way you write.

@@JReed1985 thank you for your kind words.i wish you know how much it meant.Today i had a great day.i greeted the security.the cleaners..and i focused on work.did my best.even though i lunched alone but thata fine.i took a nap so it was awesome.I'm from Singapore.English is our first language :)

@@marlinabasir You're welcome, good to know that your day at work went well and you made progress. Nice, I've never been to Singapore, but my father has. Singapore was part of the British empire which is why it is spoken there.

I like it

Invest your money. Become financially independent and retire early: FIRE. You can be on permanent vacation while they’re still at work.

I can relate. Hope it's gotten better. I will sometimes sit right next to whoever. It is a way of confronting their behavior.

Yes the people in power who take the workers decision in my case they don't care and also are part of it both... but meanwhile are always the same to say "all coworkers should treat each others with respect and I wouldn't accept otherwise" and also they themselves treat coworkers unequally

@@sabrinasususa6957 so true what you share...sadly there is often no real justice. I believe that the other side of eternity however is another story... the day of judgement is going to be one of true justice and all the evil done in the dark or behind the scenes shall come to light. Every evil word spoken will bring its fruit. Psalm 37 is a psalm that confirms this. Stay strong and true to yourself! God bless!

​@@lovearttherapyalwaysexactly i believe that even though life is full of injustice,in the day of judgement the evil people will finally be punished

Same! I feel this in my soul. I’m 30 and feel like I’m back in grade school being bullied into submission. Funny thing too, when you fight for yourself, you get treated worse! It’s always a “You’re the one offended here” or completely ignored like you’re a fly on the wall forced to watch the world have fun without you. I’m both glad and horrified that I’m not alone in feeling this way. Respect isn’t that hard to give. Like DAMN 😑

@@brookejohnson5163 I'm here with both of you I know this post is old but I'm sitting here listening to this at 6am before I walk into work seeking empowerment as a new guy at a work place where I have a bullie old enough to be my father think you both for your post it's self powering to know someone knows how you feel

@@thetruth4730 I’m dealing with the same crap right now at my workplace. I left work today, once again being excluded from a fun thing they were doing when the boss is not around. And I sit RIGHT BY THEM!!! they included everyone in the room but me. And I always have to invite myself at times to join in on the “fun!” Someone in another comment section said the cliquey people told them they were too “distinguished” while they were working class, hence the ostracizing. It made ke think, i’ve always been looked at the way from time to time. Maybe I give off those vibes without even noticing it. Well good luck friend, you’re not alone!!!

@@thetruth4730 Definitely difficult to switch jobs but even more so just having to sit in that vibe. I’ve been told countless times I’m intimidating and laugh to much. So because I can’t be controlled by others perspective on their personal reality I’m a threat. listening to Jordan B Petersons podcasts have really helped put words to the emotions I feel around others. Sometimes I listen to those when work gets me feeling alone. Helps level me out and takes my mind off of the small stuff that I can’t change. I hope things get better for you! For anyone who struggles to make connections with others.

Interesting how your comment was 2 yrs ago but resonates with another person now. You just described my life.

Nice one, just be professional with colleagues. You are there to work and not make friends.

@@monicamwape7882 : Like how are you? How's your weekend? Any plans next week? Without necessarily digging or knowing the details of their lives.

you can look torwards your interest and find facebook groups or local groups that participate in your inerest you can find friends their but also with the people who are "not like you" Brene Brown has great teachings on vulnerability and going through rejection and allowing yourself to feel negative emotions Is the key to feeling positive emothions more often. Be a good person and don't let hatred and rejection change you. Because bitterness will destroy your before sadness. get into hip hop become a rapper Hip Hop = Higher and infinite power healing our people . Express yourself through rap write songs about how you feel to release the emotions learn to freestyle yes you can become good at this. Just be patient with yourself just continue to say one word and a phrase and a word that rhymes with the first one. Like this my name is DEXTER they say its not and i'm like WHATEVER lol also I have good artist you can listen to they will let you know there are people they truly care about mankind. I'm pretty sure your mind is thinking that everyone is selfish. This isn't a judgement. These are the Artist kzfaq.info kzfaq.info/love/kUMk5PAKx2DHRYzfr8i4AA Also get into different hobbies like sports or video games become stronger and empower yourself and get better by just doing ( don't over think it or exert extra effort and accept yourself and don't try to improve your flaws) and trust the process. If you feel that you can't accept yourself now improve yourself to a certain level only and then put yourself into situations in which you don't know the outcome/ vulnerability.

Your boss is a mean bully, and agree that she is likely doing it on purpose. I hope that you find a better place to work or, at least, a new boss.

at the end of the day these insecure children are jelouse of you be as self suffiecient as you possibly can and educated in areas especially reading and writting and you will shut these tyrant down know how to form you words right to assert one self and demand respect and they will back off and never want to be exposed to their dumbness. snakes snakes. squash their bad behavior right away and let them know they do not get to offend you and have no right to at your expence for whatever they are looking to gain from it fck up you all keep being the shiny stars you are . these toxic , clicky workers are jelouse, vile, and the worst is they are dumb but think they are smart and that is a bad combination .

You could try talking to them, but if it seems they are just being polite and you think they are giving you an alibi, then the chances are they are trying to avoid you. This can be the problem when working in a small team, because it's more than likely there is that one person who they exclude and less value as a member of the team. Just like you I isolate myself, but fortunate for me, I work in a big team. This makes isolating myself much easier, but of course I would aways greet colleagues just to keep relations with them positive.

Yep, same problem with a small business here

I remember job searching while having a job, which involved me have to get up early and make a hour and a half journey just to get to work. If you want out of a job so badly, I would spend most of your free time just to get another job you can move on with.

you can look torwards your interest and find facebook groups or local groups that participate in your inerest you can find friends their but also with the people who are "not like you" Brene Brown has great teachings on vulnerability and going through rejection and allowing yourself to feel negative emotions Is the key to feeling positive emothions more often. Be a good person and don't let hatred and rejection change you. Because bitterness will destroy your before sadness. get into hip hop become a rapper Hip Hop = Higher and infinite power healing our people . Express yourself through rap write songs about how you feel to release the emotions learn to freestyle yes you can become good at this. Just be patient with yourself just continue to say one word and a phrase and a word that rhymes with the first one. Like this my name is DEXTER they say its not and i'm like WHATEVER lol also I have good artist you can listen to they will let you know there are people they truly care about mankind. I'm pretty sure your mind is thinking that everyone is selfish. This isn't a judgement. These are the Artist kzfaq.info kzfaq.info/love/kUMk5PAKx2DHRYzfr8i4AA Also get into different hobbies like sports or video games become stronger and empower yourself and get better by just doing ( don't over think it or exert extra effort and accept yourself and don't try to improve your flaws) and trust the process. If you feel that you can't accept yourself now improve yourself to a certain level only and then put yourself into situations in which you don't know the outcome/ vulnerability.

How I feel too, wish I could quit my job right now

they do not divine you wicked follow wicked and we are living in periliouse times dark times. Get close to God and he will take care of them anything they form against you god will not let them. listen to this

Narcissism.

+Reese Daniel Exactly.

Lunchtime is supposed to be a break, to relax, not to have more stress.

Did you manage to sort the issue out? I'm currently in the exact same position as yours

True.. I tried to find this reason but got no answer..

Sorry to hear that, kind of had the same issue. I'm sure those who have excluded you will find themselves in a job where they get treated the same way and they'll know how they made you feel.

I feel what u say, this happens in a lot of work places.. much love.. hope it improves.....

which is why I don't make friends at work, I can take rejection anywhere else but not at the workplace.

Absolutely. People who are not interested in gossips and small talks.

Same. I used to have good expectations what would my day would be, being happy because I can be service to people but now, I afraid to go to work.

Please take an extra time to look so good and go about your things with more professionalism. Stay cool!

Jesus sadly died and didn't get back up

​@@thunderpoochfortunately He died and rose again! Unfortunately, being a Christian does NOT exclude one from being ostracized at work.

That's terrible: callous oafs.

It was a good episode .

Maybe it's time to think about looking for another job, don't stick around and hope for something to change, because that might add more salt in the wound. I'm still suffering from my experience of being socially excluded, and as a result, I resist the urge to make friends.

@Black I have told many people this story, and they showed me their sympathy. I may not be completely over the trauma, and I don't think I ever will be the same again. At least I know that my new attitude and demeanor has resulted me in keeping my job, all I had to do was hold onto the skepticism that it's best to come to work for the sole purpose of work and not make friends.

Find one ally if you can. If not, and you’re really miserable, apply for other jobs. There are plenty out there, depending on where you live. Sometimes, discomfort is the universe’s way of leading us/pushing us into a much better situation or place. In meantime, persevere. Take it one day at a time, remember who signs your paychecks, and keep your chin up. Treat others as you wish to be treat, always. You can’t go wrong with kindness and “killing them with kindness” will only benefit you AND might teach them something. You can’t go wrong with being the bigger person. Acknowledge your feelings because they are valid, but you’re in more control of them than you think. Think about it. Good luck! A better position awaits!

me too Mark. I'm sorry for situations like this. it's terrible to feel excluded.

MrLeonightis, uggg! I know. I get so frustrated when I’m the one trying to do the right thing and be kind, and it creates retribution.

i already did and now i have problems with the police. and their siblings want to find me and hurt me

I feel the same; I know it’s me because I have the same experience with my family. Idk what to do about it, but try to settle in my position and be comfortable with it. Is it healthy in the long, probably not, but I turned 30 this year and it’s getting difficult to teach an old dog a new trick.

EXACTLY