I was misdiagnosed with BPD before I was finally diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and CPTSD. I found this extremely helpful in identifying the differences, thank you

My entire family is on this spectrum somewhere. Ppl who grew up in a stable loving home are soooooooo lucky, wow, I can't even imagine

I feel like I have both. I fear relationships, feel inherently bad, but also have self-sabatoging behaviors and can lash out at others and then deeply regret it.

I hope in my lifetime the terrible stigma surrounding BPD is wiped out! CPTSD and BPD seem very similar. Every one deserves to heal with both diagnosis.

49. Male. College educated. Had a career for over 2 decades (that I despised from the start). BPD Mother who denies having any mental illness still at age 73 and still with both of her sons having become estranged from her. Passive father who died 20 years ago in his 50s. (I believe due to chronic stress. BPD mom was emotionally cruel to all of us.) Socially isolated in early childhood. Zero friendships or trusting relationships for the first over 30 years of my life. Currently married and with my husband for 16 years but he is the last person in my life. Family has either died or been estranged due to Mom's BPD. Developed a terrible habit of dating chat in the 1990s that never let up that I finally revealed to someone (my husband) this morning in a nighttime fit of shame on my part - so my marriage may be ending soon. No friends. I literally don't know what to do. I have lost everything because of the childhood trauma and, unfortunately, didn't work out all of this until these past few unemployed years. I feel like I am mostly c-PTSD but I also feel like I have some of the unique BPD traits as well - such as self-harming behaviors (like infidelity - like denying myself things - self-isolation as a form of self-punishment...). I appear normal to the casual observer but that goes away quickly since I never had an opportunity to develop social skills. Heck, it was only a few days ago that I learned that oversharing personal information is a bad social skill. To me it was always just being open about myself. Sadly, no one tells you when you mess up socially - they just avoid you because they assumed you learned social skills when everyone else did - as a kid. I never had a time of happiness. I hated myself before I could even talk and was PETRIFIED of strangers by the time I finally met another kid that wasn't a family member at 4 years old. I tried therapy/psychiatry and was met with accusations that I was lying about my condition. Dealt with doctors who don't believe me because I am too well spoken and educated. My world has been slowly decaying since birth - but the decay has accelerated lately and I fear soon becoming homeless since my mental health has made me too scared to work for fear of losing my temper at the first sign of maltreatment or abuse at work (which might be perceived and not even real). This video did a GREAT job clarifying these two conditions - BPD and c-PTSD. It bothers me that while I think I am more on the c-PTSD side of things, I also have many BPD-unique characteristics. HOW IN THE HECK AM I EVER GOING TO SURVIVE THIS WITHOUT MONEY OR SOCIAL SUPPORT? -- I both hate myself (c-PTSD) AND fear abandonment (BPD). I would not wish the hell of an entire life of this on anyone. If there really is a physical Hell, my life is WORSE - just a chronic, life-long, slow drip of one trauma-trigger after another, day after day, decade after decade....all due to to the ways in which my growing young brain misinterpreted my emotionally crazy mother. Unaware of the cause. Miserable. ALWAYS. I don't think I have gone more than 2 days EVER without severe depression and chronic anxiety. Forever I have felt like I am in a glass box with my VERY LOUD inner critic (who drowns out any actual real world sounds), while the world goes on just outside of my reach. I want to belong but never know how to make that happen. So I run...or freeze if I can't run.

At 64 i am so grateful that I have survived this long. I started seeking help by 15. I am so confused about the amount of diagnosis I have been given. Very little knowledge 50 years ago about Trauma. I have so much Therapy Trauma on top of having BPD AND CPTSD. Thank goodness that I have an ability to expand and somehow intuitively knew that I wasn’t what I was programmed to believe. In my early stages of understanding, I was very suicidal with addictions. In 23 years of alcohol recovery I have progressed significantly. I am now able to sit alone and stay present and not avoid my emotions and can be more of an Observer and can comfort my reactivity with tenderness for Self.

Okay so I've watched a million videos about this, trying to differentiate between those two and you Dr. Kim has said some brilliant things I've never heard before. After seeing too many psychologists and psychiatrists on youtube, you are the one that really put all things in order. So thank you very much, this video was so so helpful!

Its pretty clearly different for me because I got CPTD from having a mom with BPD. I dont see myself as being like her at all in that way. Edit: she was one of the 10% that accidentally completed suicide. She involved me to stop her like always, but I was too late this time. I'm sharing this because it's really relevant to the dynamic described here.

I am a survivor of repetitive violent Traumas. Most of it came from a BPD Birth Mother. The time to heal is now. I will not let my CPTSD prevent me from having peace and tranquility in any department in my life today. Therapy is a good thing.

I'm in the process of disentangling my identity from my BPD mother. The biggest difference I see between us is, the vindictive behavior and when I get triggered I apologize when I come back to myself. My mother says things like "I'm sorry you're angry".

Just on the topic of knowing who you are with CPTSD vs borderline: in some cases the parents' splitting occurs with the same person. So while one moment you are bad and horrible and awful, the next (when you're somehow meeting their needs) you are angelic, perfect, the ideal child - but you know that love is conditional and won't last. This can definitely create uncertainty for the child around their sense of self, so while shame is the dominant factor, for children of borderlines CPTSD can certainly involve some identity disturbance too. Thanks for making these videos, they're really good any very informative.

this is literally me and my mum, i have cptsd and havent made any new friends in a long damn time as this has come to light and have left all relationships I felt unsafe in, which has left me friendless, bc with two unstable parents and no safe adults anywhere had meant I only knew how to make relationships with toxic people, ughh i hope i can find it in myself to leave my comfort zone because i LOVE talking to people and being social. thank u sm!

Psychiatrist said BPD but I went to a psychologist at the same time and she said PTSD, 2 kinds of anxiety, severe depression and panic. He changed his diagnoses to hers. I recommend seeing both at the same time so you dont get the wrong diagnoses.

Thank you for posting . I had a therapist who identified me as CPTSD when I was worried I whats BPD like my mom. It was a huge step forward for me . It’s all about providing templates .

CPTSD is bad… i got screwed up pretty bad in the military for not turning a blind eye to heinous crimes… combat is easy… but having my life destroyed for doing the right thing… it’s been ten years and i’m still really messed up, and its really hard.

I feel like part of the safety also comes from the absence of the parent. For example I had such an unstable and shaken foundation that I would avoid school and not go, and this snowballed to where I would have patterns of avoidance and deception at school. I would love test days not because I liked taking tests or did well, but because there were no threats from the teacher to ask me questions I didn't know the answer to (I didn't go to school or do my homework and when I was at school I wasn't ever paying attention, but doodling). I loved test days because it was quiet and I could just fill in the bubbles and make up the answers and hand in the test. It is amazing I actually even graduated high school because I didn't even understand basic concepts like studying or self discipline and basically winged everything. I thought I was stupid when in reality my life was literally chaos. That I got a bad grade didn't matter because there was no consequences at home. So a lot of the safety and scanning for threats was from the absence of my parents, where I would cope with situations I was thrown in but didn't have the tools to handle.

I have CPTSD and this has been one of the most helpful videos I’ve seen on the subject. Well done!

Thank you for these videos Dr. Sage. I love how you manage not to make BPD parents into evil perpetrators and how you give suffering CPTSD children the validation to move forward with self-healing activities despite the triggering of guilt. That was the biggest obstacle for me. I had to figure out how to not feel guilty about taking steps to improve my own mental health which of course included no longer allowing myself to be party to the crazy-making tendencies of my parents. But after I took the first step, it got easier.

Thank you for this, I recently lost my dad this year and it opened my eyes a lot to the unworkability that this disorder brings to the home…I cannot feel anything but compassion and sadness, for myself, and especially for family members who are in the fog of my mother…how I reject and abhor everything that could have happened to her to make her this way…I know she doesn’t ‘exist’ only a figment of my imagination, but she is my birth mom and it’s so hard to see her in a clinical way but it is the only way, at least at this time in my life; that I can detach myself from her…oh mom how o wish I was there to protect you….I’m sorry I could not fix you and ..I’m happier without you I’m so sorry mom…. :(

That was really brilliant and empathic. You made the differences of BPD and CPTSD, causes, symptoms and treatment very clear. I was wrongly diagnosed with BPD back in the early nineties, but it turns out I have CPTSD, have been diagnosed and am being treated for it (with EMDR which is incredibly effective). Your video has made it even clearer what I have been dealing with, and yes, it's never too late to start the healing journey (I am 61). One thing I would suggest is to slow down; it's quite deep and emotive stuff to take in, and I found my self having to stop and go back (mild dissociation perhaps??). 'Love', both for one's self and for others that have been in and shaped your life, is so much to do with understanding, exceptance and compassion.

I'm a 34 yo man, two chaotic abusive parents. Both different abuse and independently of each other. For years with no escape. I internalised alot, especially with the npd parent. One npd for sure. Other who even knows. How you describe cptsd. I was saying yes on every point. The first video I have come across that really explains how I feel. The why's behind the feelings, not just the symptoms. I hope the diagnostic process I have scheduled will show this too. It's exhausting to not know and not being able to navigate out of this. Thank you for your work :)

Thank you for this comparison. I've been diagnosed with a few things for a long time, including CPTSD. But the last few years I've been working on understanding clinical narcissism and autism while not quite understanding what BPD is. You clarified essential points for me. I kinda wanted to give my mom a seemingly "lesser" degree of evil, but as far as I've ever been able to tell she doesn't worry about abandonment. She's just a vulnerable narcissist who was raised by a covert/self-righteous narcissist (who was also daily in my life), in a chain of various iterations through the maternal line. Not that it was the plan, but I was being trained to be a narcissist as well until in my tweens I developed friendships with healthy people who liked me and coached me when I needed to unlearn things. I'm grateful for the people who rescued me on time. I'm 54 and still discovering notions I harbor that come from that childhood environment.

I really believed for a long time that I had BPD. But I think it's CPTSD. My childhood was traumatic and my adult life is spent mostly distrusting others and keeping myself protected from others but feeling like I'm bad deep down inside.

Thank you so much. My mom has BPD and I worry I do, but the CPTSD definitions fit me much more accurately. Going to try and find a therapist!

Hi All! I know there is so much going on right now, so I debated posting, but decided to post this video and hope you will find it helpful. Please feel free to add anything or share:). And, please take very good care of yourselves❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻. I have part 5 (relational instability) of spotting BPD to post and then I am doing a series on: ❤️❤️❤️Relationships:❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Cheating and Affairs Attachment and Childhood Strategies Which Can Destroy Our Relationships What to Stop Doing In Your Relationships! xo thank you so much for watching and posting!💕💕💕💕🙏🏻🙏🏻

The self actualizations I had while watching this video made me catch myself saying out loud, “OOOooh… wow… okay,” which I think implies a kind of unconscious yogic breath of release. And that’s the coolest reflection moment I’ve had in a while. Sláinte.

I have been previously diagnosed with BPD and I went with it, but as time passed I felt disconnected even from the diagnosis, not in a "recovering" way but in a "I don't relate to such cluster of symptoms" way. I've always felt like a feral cat that wants to be left alone at all times for not trusting humans and lashing at the ones who do get close but suddenly move in a threatening way. I don't fear people leaving because I actually fear them getting close and I simply don't allow that to happen, no one can leave a connection that has never been made in the first place. I don't feel comfortable feeling comfortable, opening up, expressing my feelings, lowering my guard and being vulnerable. At first sign of threat I want to pack my stuff and leave, retreat back into my comfy cave of baseline depression and dissociation, not to be seen or heard of again. Although chaotic, there's still a genuine vulnerability among people with BPD that I just don't seem to have.

So helpful. Thank you. I experience C-PTSD from bpd parental abuse and my biggest difficulty is self-sabotage. I'm in the process of determining if I need to leave my job and begin a business doing something important to my values system. My logical brain screams "Yes, go for it! You can!" while my primal, wounded, triggery self wags a finger, reminding in a thousand insidious ways that I am bad or undeserving or an imposter, etc. It's exhausting. But, I am determined not so much to power through (as in the past), but to approach this a step at a time, leaning on DH for support and affirmation (which is difficult to accept sometimes). I should feel like an Olympian just navigating life!!! 🥴

I'm glad that I've lived long enough to find answers. They help. A lot.

Thank you for this! Recently made myself get a new therapist and she's leaning towards me having tendencies of both BPD & CPTSD from childhood trauma and this... Really helped me understand why she's thinking along those lines. :) I truthfully didn't even know CPTSD existed so this is super helpful.

Thank you so much- please know you are helping me so much. I just watch these and sob- I can’t find any therapists in my area. You have helped so much.

Thank you so much for clarifying. I have cptsd and I'm pretty sure my mom was bpd, but I'm not 100%. I was starting to wonder if I was bpd because of my fear of abandonment, but this clears it up. I never realized bpd had a genetic component.

Hey thank you! I thought I had BPD but it could just CPTSD

I think defining a personality disorder as a whole will also help to tell these disorders apart. It's about the way you see the world, and yourself, and how you relate to it. Whereas in CPTSD you have PTSD over other people's behaviors and relationships in general. I think CPTSD can trigger a BPD. I know I struggled with both and a lot of the symptoms of the BPD became so much more manageable after I took care of the trauma. But I still get dysregulated, paranoid, self-loathing, splitting, self-destructive... When the BPD is triggered.

I keep getting diagnosed with cptsd but after watching this video I really think it’s bpd… my symptoms are more suicidal and fear of abandonment, external validation…

My mother was always raging at us. She would hit us with kitchen utensils and or smack us around.

Brilliant - this is the first resource I have found online that frames the distinction between cptsd and bpd in terms of a relationship between people who respectively manifest one and the other. In my case my mother's bpd was the world in which I developed cptsd. I went low-2-no contact with her a long time ago; I maintain that I finally escaped from her, she maintains I abandoned her. I have subsequently become estranged (my initiative) from siblings too (we were a single parent family). The family narrative continues to construct me as bad for having "left" - that I did so out of selfishness, hate, malice, and denial of who I really am (really very bad indeed). As alluded to in Dr. Sage's talk, one of the characteristics of bpd is externalisation of intense emotions in a way that powerfully resists self-awareness, and I think in the context of parent-child/bpd-cptsd relationships it is perhaps the scapegoated child who experiences this as a chronically repetitive pattern - endless futile attempts to share some kind of insight and understanding.

Oof... Thank you... Good timing for me to see this right now. I'm the child now 39 and I am currently estranging my parents... even called mother by their full first name to get them to just leave me alone and stop needling. Glad it worked, I hope it channeled the voice of their mother...

Wow. This was clear cut. Thank you so much!!

I wish my bpd mom would be open to understanding this. I can’t even approach mine about this, at this point. And I’m 50 y/o! I’m still that little girl inside. My poor mom. 💔This video is about us.

Your explanation is so clear thank you so much.

This was so helpful Dr Kim. 😍

Very perceptive and clear, thank you.

Thank you for making this ❤️

U absolutely explain this better than anyone I've heard.

Thank you for this clarity. This is very helpful.

So incredibly helpful ❤

Thank you for this video. It helps answers so many of my questions.

Thank you so much, It really means a lot to me that you took the time to make this video.

Do you have a video on BPD and Co-morbid Bipolar? And how generational relationship genetics might flow from NPD (Generation 1: Grandparent) to BPD (Generation 2: Parent) to C-PTSD (Third Generation: Child/Grandchild)?

SUPER helpful, thank you!!

EXTREMELY HELPFUL. KEEP POSTING!

Thank you so much for this very helpful video. This was packed with so much information and it is so generous of you to put this out here. I'm going to watch it again and again because sometimes my mind wants to wonder and I have to pull it back and focus on the task. This video is beautiful! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have cptsd and this resonates with me. I don't have a partner because I find dating and relationships very triggering. I often can't function properly if I'm dating. I've always envied people in normal stable loving relationships. One of my dreams is to find a loving partner I feel happy and at peace with.

I appreciate this video so much.

I watched your videos on BPD first and was terribly afraid I was a hermit type BPD, turns out its C-PTSD 100%. Thank you from the depths of my soul for this video! This is absolutley what I needed so that I can continue my healing!

This is so helpful. Thank you!

Such great information-thank you for sharing your expertise.

Awesome work ❤

The best explanation so far!

Very interesting thankyou Kim, love the educated information provided

Thank you. This clarified a LOT for me, which is huge. Thank you.

This has explained everything THANK YOU

Huge appreciation for this video.

I really appreciate your videos. I am a “New Subscriber”. Everything you say in this video & all the ones I have watched it as if you are speaking to me directly. I had a tough childhood. My parents divorced when I was 8 years old. ( I do not remember them together ). My Mother was cheating on my Father. I do remember that. After She divorced my Father She moved to a different state. I am the oldest & had two younger sisters. When my Mom left, She took my middle sister & left myself & my younger 2 year old sister on my Dad’s porch, with a box of clothes. Although this was very difficult, I wanted to live with my Dad & he raised us as a single father. I feel very greatful that he was there for us as best he knew how. I am as a adult, dealing with almost everything you have mentioned in your videos. I self isolate, I have diabetes, kidney disease, I have had extreme anxiety, depression, migraines, etc……. I am in a very unhealthy marriage! Have been married for over 25 years. He is Very Controlling & Extremely critical of me & everything I do, say, don’t say, it’s just bad!! I don’t feel like a confident woman anymore. He is always “correct & things always have to be his was”. Nothing I do is good enough! Even when I feel good about something I have done. This makes him very upset & he takes that success & happiness away from me. On March 31, 2022 my oldest daughter passed away. She was my oldest of 3 daughters. It has been so devastating to me & my life feels “out of control”. Do you have any suggestions or things that I can do to free myself from feeling like, I have failed my Daughter & myself?? Thank you so much for all your wonderful videos. 🙏 💔 😢 💫

Thank you so much for sharing what you have learned. I found it helpful. I would have loved to hear more about the difference between a complex as is the case with CPTSD and a personality disorder. In any event though, thank you!

I cannot believe I’ve found this site. Thank you so much for your invaluable information. ❤

Thank you. This helps a lot.

Thank you for posting this

Thank you! This differentiation was very helpful for me. I've recognized that my dad is a covert narcissist that tries very hard to be seen as a "nice" guy. Im not sure if my mom is a narcissist or has BPD. My dad created so much anxiety in her that she took out mostly on me in order to keep up appearances to everyone else. I think both of my parents fear being seen as bad, so much that they need to always be seen as the "good" ones. Any lack of appreciation from others is seen as an attack on them. I have a lot of the anxiety and some other characteristics that my mother has, so I have wondered if I may have BPD. Your differentiation between BPD and CPTSD help me to see that I suffer from the latter. Your descriptions of the fawn, freeze and collapse responses, in other videos, were also very helpful and very validating. Thanks again!

You explained this very difficult distinction between the two very well ! Thank you !!

This video is full of thought provoking insights! The presentation of characteristics as well as the root perspectives was very eye opening. One thing that stood out for me is the difference in the driving force ie; shame based vs fear based and their manifestions. Though subtle in nuance these distinctions make all the difference. I really appreciate what an excellent communicator you are. Thank you.

Thank you for this. CPTSD describes exactly how I feel, especially with the isolation.

Excellent! Thank you.

This has been very insightful for me. thanks!

This was sn excellent discription of the differences.

My therapist and I have been discussing borderline patterns in my parent and it's been really challenging to process, but these videos have been helping a lot. Thank you.

I just love your research Dr Kim. 😍

Thank you for this. I've always thought I had PTSD but my ACE score is super high so I always wondered if there was a PTSD for multiple traumas and ones that lasted months or years vs one time events; and if that differed from personality disorders or mental illness that can also be associated with trauma.

This is the BEST informative video differentiating CPTSD and BPD! Thank you so much Dr. Sage for showcasing these differences!

Wow. You talk very fast! I was diagnosed having BPD when I was 17 and started dating would be devastated when a simple date and I longed for a relationship would end. I thought it was my fault and a couple suicide attempts (narcissistic mother that wanted me to be perfect for an image and reflection of who she wanted to present to friends). I didn't find out she was a narcissist until I was 54 years old! Then the CPTSD came in and the BPD went away because I feared relationships and isolated. So I have BOTH BPD AND CPTSD. I wish you would talk more about that instead of just comparing the differences. At 65 I am overwhelmed at all I am learning and it all makes sense now...but unfortunately, I can't go back in time and have a do over. My son won't talk to me and comes in and out of my life (only calls when he needs something) and now that I set boundaries, he hates me. 😢 I wish I knew then, what I know now. I want a do-over!!!!

Thanks so much. You helped me understand a lot .. I was diagnosed with cpsd however was never really taught, or told the difference between certain things like you just did in this video. I have been in therapy for 16 years just watching some of your videos is helping me understand. Truly thank you from the bottom of my heart! Take care 🙏

This makes so much sense

Thank You so much Dr. Kim! You are truly one of the Good People in this sad old world, keep up your excellent, important work. I am fifty-three and just getting to confronting all of this mental clutter in my own life. Thank you for the help!

These videos are fantastic. This one was especially informative. Keep up the great work

This was a clear video. It shows how well you know the subject. Thank you. What do you do when a patient with CPTdS withdraws and doesn’t come back?

Thank you, Dr. Sage, for this video. I have been on a healing journey over two years after an event that triggered CPTSD. It was severe enough for me to do a deep dive into why my nervous system was so affected by what happened. I really appreciate your calm demeanor and explanation. Your video is more helpful that a year of talk therapy. Thank you.

Wow! This was hugely helpful. This is an incredible breakdown/comparison of the two. Thank you for making this!

This is the best explanation of the differences between CPTSD and BPD that I have ever found. I'm devoted to Katie Morton but her explanation between the two isn't nearly as clear as yours. I very much appreciate being able to check back to this vid to remind myself that I suffer from CPTSD.

Yes, like the last person to comment b4 I'm writing this, I've watched a million vids too on C-PTSD, anxious/avoidant attachment, narcissism... et al. And now as I embark on listening to this vid and hear all the overlap btwn BPD & C-PTSD, two things finally strike me. One is that we are complex creatures, we humans and we don't divide up into precise little cubicles of symptoms - oh, I'm BPD bcuz I have 10 symptoms/indications from that checklist but only 8 from the C-PTSD checklist. It's finally crossed my mind after 71 yrs of living with this, these "disorders" just can't be that precisely delineated. And secondly as someone who is seeking amelioration or healing of this weight now over the 7 or 8 yrs of knowingly pursuing this general area of the mental wellness arena...does it make any difference for purposes of healing modalities whether one is BPD or C-PTSD? Think ur videos are AWESOME but to the person trying to heal many patterns of dysfunctional behavior, does it make a difference?

So helpful. i’ve had horrible therapist and psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with BPD after talking to a psychiatrist for 5 minutes and told to go on mood stabilizers. when I told her i didn’t believe this was case for me she dismissed me. I really think I am the CPTSD side here. I am so glad I found this. hopefully I know what to try to look for now treatment wise. It’s so sad that it’s so difficult to navigate the world of mental health and treatment. It can be so harmful for people who need help. thanks again

This distinction really does matter and this video is very helpful! I feel confident I suffer from CPTSD, not BPD at all. I have a new therapist and I feel like she misunderstands me.. she seems to think I have a fear of abandonment, but when I pull away in my relationships its because of a fear of rejection/unworthiness. I struggle to feel a sense of self worth or that anyone could possibly love me. I don't ever worry about someone leaving me; I worry they are going to change into a cruel person at the drop of a hat without any warning. I end up being the one who switches unpredictably as a way to protect myself. I haven't experienced traumatic abandonment in my life; only experiences that lead me to believe people are generally unreliable and untrustworthy. I avoid relationships generally, but still long for intimacy. I seek connection with others, but I fear being vulnerable by expressing emotions, asking for my needs to be met, and feeling dependent on others.

This was very help Dr Sage ❤ I wasn't sure if I'm BPD ...my mom is narcissist & I now recently think BPD as well. She's elderly now. I have a C-PTSD diagnosis & this video confirms it. I was concerned I have BPD also. Thanks for all you do ❤

Good explainations the difference, Seems more discussions have been around Narccisim, Most dont understand BPD and Cptsd or is talked about as well. Can a Narc also be a BPD? I never felt it was may fault in my situtation. Just unstability from parents, causing trusting issues

This is so helpful. I really needed to know this. Thank you. You spoke a bit fast in some places. I rewound to comprehend everything you said. Very very informative! Thank you so much.

I watched your CPTSD video made before this one and I literally check off every single thing you talked about in that video. However, watching this one talking about CPTSD can look more like “I’m bad I’m not worthy etc…” as now as an adult who has had children of my own I don’t see myself in that way as I may have when I was younger. I now basically just know that I can’t count on anyone but myself. I want to be left alone by everyone and I’m super okay with out any kind of meaningful interaction with people because any “meaningful interaction” is all for show anyway. No one really means it. They all end up hurting and/or letting me down at some point anyway so I just don’t let people get close so I don’t have to deal with the deep emotions once they inevitably hurt me. I feel quite deeply but I find I have learned to just numb out emotions in the intense moments. When something crazy is going on I just blank out and I’m almost appalled by others crazy outbursts and just find myself waiting for it to be over. I’m typically pretty logical and able to make sound decisions when I should be experiencing intense emotions. Then later weather it’s days or weeks or months I will break down when I’m alone and there’s no chance of being interrupted. I hate crying in front of others, yet I get urges to cry with every emotion - except sadness. I cry when I’m angry, when I’m happy, when I’m stressed… but never really just for sadness in and of itself. I’m very empathetic to others and all my friends I’ve ever had always referred to me as their armchair therapist bc I listen and can often see where they’re coming from but can also offer an opposing viewpoint in a loving way. I just don’t know how I can be so empathetic to others yet I check out on my own emotions and become numb the moment something should effect me. Sorry if this was long 😣

Thank you for the insightful video. I have quiet BPD (although it wasn't always a quiet presentation - that's something that's come with insight and gradually learning to control behavioural impulses) but because I experience very intense issues around shame and I don't self-harm, in some ways it looks a little bit like CPTSD - which would be particularly odd as I don't have any 'active' capital T traumata. What really clarifies for me that BPD is indeed the correct diagnosis is that although I find relationships unsafe, that is because I experience abandonment as persecutory - so really it is not the relationship I find unsafe, rather that my fear of experiencing that persecutory abandonment yet again is so intense that it actually prevents me from even entering into relationships to begin with. Apart from that possibility, I essentially can trust others not to mistreat me - at times more easily than I should - even if I do experience abandonment as a betrayal. So while someone with CPTSD may expect to be mistreated in a relationship (while obviously desiring to be treated well), in my case (and probably those of others with BPD) I expect that I will be treated well, but also that I will be cease to be "treated" at all and that when that inevitably occurs, it will be excruciatingly painful.

Cpstd so that's what it is..I've watched so many videos over the past 6mo yours are definitely the best I've found and the way you explain makes so much sense..thank you

I don't believe there is any healing for these disorders! I've been in therapy for decades, and I am no better off! Now, I prefer to be alone, I cannot trust anyone! My daughter doesn't want anything to do with me but I didn't have a bad relationship with her, other people talked her into not bothering with me! She was brainwashed since she was 3.

This was super helpful. You just described the difference between me & my husband. I thought I had BPD. I have CPTSD . My husband struggles with a lot of BPD symptoms. I also think my parents suffered from BPD & couple siblings too 😢