Did Seagal get his ass beat in a strip club once do you reckon?

I don't Patreon. I would be a channel member though. Set it up or I will spinning back kick your face!

i would but im poor

THIS SECOND RENDITION OF 'GOOD MAN' IS BETTER AND IS ALSO THE BEST COMMENTARY ON THE BAG OF FARTS AKA STEVEY CIGAR, I MEAN SEGAL OR WHATEVER THE NAME IS.

Merry Christmas Space ice!

Steven SeaGull

Right here. Just stumbled across this channel yesterday. lol

Same here,Just loves how this guy just roast the hell out of Seagal.

Me👋🤚✋🤣😂😂

I binged watched over 5 hrs of this channel, when I stumbled on it. I couldn't stop watching, it is addictive.

Yeah I think I’d literally jump out of the plane if I had to choose between that or watching this terrible movie. 😂

🤣🤣🤣

lmao 😆

Showing this movie on a plane is a thing they only do if they want the passengers to leave the plane mid-flight.

LMAO

Ik...I was crying 😭😭😭😭💀

holy shit - my belly was going to explode mate!)))))))))))))))

even the dog refuses to watch this 🤣

now he got the taste of human blood..😂😆😁

Brilliant name, I love it! 🤣

I don't think you literally know what the word literal means : )

R.I.P

@@Johnnywhamo naw dog, I’m dead. Deceased RIP 💀

@@youngrav2311 .....Sorry dude! You know what, my bad, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that. All good my man, you just keep on not keepin on my dead friend. Cheers :)

[In voice] Thats impossible- Everyone knows, a JCVD spinkick, hits so hard...

I'm still laughing over that one!!!!!!!

My jaw hurts bruh....

@@coreyhall1150 wat she said.

I fell over when he said that 🤣

👌😂

he makes his escape by teleport waddling away

Talk about breaking the fourth wall

Yup I ROFLMAO at that too... 😂😂😂

That's the dream of every middle aged dad; to have a body double to send out to kick some punk's ass then gives all the glory to dad.

The thing is the entire movie is his own doing. At the start of the film, he's on a mission to kill some arms dealer and this terrorist leader. The mission leaders decide that since the two are in a building, it's easy for them to launch a drone and be able to kill them both. Seagal, for some reason, decides this is a no go because according to him there are innocents in the building. So what does Seagal do? He blasts open the door, and runs back and forth between the door shooting randomly into the building scaring everyone. The two leaders, now knowing there is something going on, runs off in their car. Seagal manages to shoot one but the main villain of the movie runs off still. Seagal, now tries to run away from his mistake but decides to pick up this little girl for no reason. So Seagal anyway managed to get all the innocents killed and on top of that caused the bad guys to escape. Then he goes on a worldwide murder rampage where he decides to get the leader, he has to kill everyone for reasons unclear when he could have simply set up the meeting at the start and meet the bad guy.

It’s what really happens in his movies though.

needed a Jim Ross sound bite after that

LOL That explosion launched him into the future

Lol😂😂he literally pile drives her

@@wavnino1 Seagal has never made a slobberknocker

The pretendables 😂

He really loves to murder lots of innocent women and children 🤣

Even better thing "When his watch beeps to let him know the movie's hit 90 mins and now he's working for free"... 😂🤣🤣🤣

😆😆

@@karthiksubramanian2279😆😆

Bruh… whole ass tears 😂😂😂😂

Translation: "I'll make sure those mfers will never live to see their next birthday."

@@KenMasters. Thank you, you beautiful beast!

JK, what he really meant is that they can remain the same age the rest of their lives and they can't eat their own birthday cakes 😂

The greatest line ever.

Seagal doesn't do second takes. Space Ice told you already.

- Everything is happening in Romania

- Former Special Forces - For some reason, keeps showing how he helps female children (like... why are children in his movies 9/10 times girls?) - Fighting against a terrorist/ arms dealer/ mob boss/ cartel boss of islamic, commie, anti-American, Slavic, Chinese and/ or Japanese heritage. - One supposed bad-ass one-liner. - Good-guy secondary character/ sidekick who is acting better and more believable than Seagal and is an actual good guy.

-A body double used to stand in for Seagal when fighting hand to hand.

Lmao! We need to make Seagal movie Bingo cards sometime and do a group watch of one of his million shite movies… 😆

And he never gets hit

Or women finding him desirable for no real reason

And Eastern Europe.

The eye candy for me is the best part whenever Seagal isn't making a fool of himself, which is the whole movie! 🤣😭

@@xChaosFlower and always under 25.

Sensei seagull

…but didn’t deserved

Already feeling better lol

proper comment

Heck yeah!

You got that right

"This series makes me realize that -none of- Seagal -’s characters- should [not] be let anywhere near a populated area." Fixed that for you.

@@junkyatvare you good at writing papers

He's basing the scripts off his fantasies.... HE shouldn't be anywhere around populated areas.

They may roam random streets, but keep them away from convenience stores and strip clubs.

He is in a populated area, its a big city call Moscow. It actually make sense in a way, the Russian army graduated from seagal's school of fighting a war like its a seagal movie.

Spice lce is the master at it

"A KZfaq cottage industry"? Never heard that before. Made me laugh my ass off though.

Same 😂😂😂

FFS 😂🤣😂

Why is this commjent so underrated? XD

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

😂😂😂 dear Lord

@@PantoniStrikesBack Cos it's stolen from another comment under another video of Space Ice

It is true. I think in Space Ice's voice when I watch movies all the time.

It might could be an illusion.

LMFAO I feel the same way! 😂

@@keres993 😂

Legit. I came across him a couple weeks back and have binged all his reviews now lol. Totally happened to me. It was a real treat finally getting back to his original couple videos when he was using his fake voice, because he knew that his true voice is so powerful I’m literally invoking it right now

Because apparently being kidnapped is an average Monday in Romania

Well after that restaurant didn't pan out in the beginning...

60% of the budget went to filming there.

@@twelvepercentitalian2511 They should've used that $20 to hire a better VFX guy

theyd prob be not half bad as a comedy with him as the villain xD

Wasn’t he a villain in one of the machete movies?

He waddle when he walks and talk with southern soul now, so hilarious. I hope he keeps making movies.

There he goes.... Waddle.... Waddle...waddle...Waddle... Waddle...waddle...

but Seagal IS a russian mob, in real life...

Still to this day, I still never know. 😂😂😂😂

He crashes a van into their house, steals their cake, and drone strikes their house as he drives away.

I guess he hijacks the birthday and steals all the food.

Lmao This is basically it

congratulations! you cracked the code!

He have some problem with the strip clubs

Body doubles when you walk to point a to point b because walking is just too much for Seagull

Seagal movie checklist: -save a vulnerable female -set somewhere in Easter Europe -slapping fight scene -explosions -crappy green screen -awkward sex scenes -Seagal rescuing someone from a near death situation out of nowhere -sunglasses indoors -strip club

Classic

The Pretendables comment killed me!!

😂😂😂

Literally 😂😂

It's even funnier if you know why he never was and will be in an Expendables-movie ...

Then shows 1 guy 😂

@@JonySmith-bb4gx who isnt even an action star, just some random dude🤣🤣💀

a new MST3K lol

You mean, "it'd be so BAD @SS!"

Like thos African action movies

@@kabardino1337 “Everybody in Uganda knows Kung-Fu!”

I'd pay big money for that.

I think you got the quote wrong.

@@dronessential No, that’s what Space Ice said in reaction to what Seagal said

no the other bomnshell Seagal...I'm not a man..space ice...MF😅..we talk about that later

I'm gonna keep it for whenever I need to say something incoherent and to confuse people... It's perfection.

"That's the way it is"

the line is "every motherfucker birthday". He flubbed it, but it's a Seagal film and that means no second takes.

The best....yet!

Was he having a stroke? What context could make that make sense? Lmao tf

The priest isn't sure if he actually heard that or he's having a brain bleed 🤣

LOL

I am 110% sure He was thinking about stealing the birthday cakes

@@GamerKhiladi And that's terrible

@@Alpostpone haha yes.

My favourite so far 😅

I like to imagine seagal was the one with the concussion and thought that line was hard asf

Sweet irony.

No.

Im on my 15th video, I am sad cause I know theres only so many videos seagal made:(

No. I don't celebrate WW2 because they made some good movies about it either.

Everyone can make a bad movie. The only bad movie that I can appreciate is "The Room". You cannot beat Tommy Wiseau.

He's avoiding his sins by not watching the killing

LOL, I thought he was trying to be poetic since it was so bizarre, so I had to think about it. Then I got embarrassed for actually thinking about it. 😅

I need a time stamp on that Edit: nevermind I restarted the video Holy fuck I'm fuckin weak.

@@kulturkampf LOL, no worries. As Seagal would say, "There is no darkness without light, therefore a restart button was made."

@@beartackle In a way it is not nonsense, if what he meant was that light needed to be created by God first to then darkness exist. But after the existence of light on creation, then it is wrong.

@@daimonmau5097 its not that deep. It simply means if there is no light, then you wouldn't even realize what "darkness" is.

I like, "But, whatever..."

@@geraldframinghammer2626lol

#2 Dancing in Thailand

Personal favorite: “The movie never tells us, and it’s never mention AGAIN!”

Or "the entire movie is pointless anyway"

I concur 😂

Agreed!

Drunk, gotta be drunk

The only way

This and Jason Brant.

YEAH this guys a scream, he should have added, and without darkness, oh f*** it, it's a Seagal movie so the wisdom never makes any sense any way...

But what do we have without neither?

🤣

Furthermore, "now get over here, and uses her as a human shield".

Seagal has truly a diagnosis of his own , some new form of autism or some shit like that which makes him impervious of reality and somehow vicious and punishing to humans.

"he does the biggest dick move and pile drive her into the fuckin ground" 😂😂

​@@jeanmont THAT one had me rollin but pile drives the little girl into the ground was sublime...

More like a figurative lump of shit, but I'm with ya.

Probably worse at this point. At least you can burn the coal....and get something back.

Seagal eats the coal an creats a diamond

@NCFirebolt21 Hey i am offended!! what do you mean he is a lump of coal?? He is nothing close to a lump of coal. I mean even coal has it uses while seagal is pretty much useless.

This feels like christmas and birthday combined. Thank god the seagull didnt snatch this fothermucker birthday

"Santa Ice" GOLD

It's more like space case

In his case quantity over quality is a good thing.

Bro, can you send some of that Columbian white powder everyone was talking about in the 80s?

Mi amigo! I'm pushing 40 too, all of those nights watching "Alerta Maxima" (for the 13th time) on TV with my dad. Saludos desde Argentina!

And he's THE BEST, MOST DECORATED SPECIAL FORCES CIA/FBI AGENT WE HAVE!

" I understand your dad`s dead, but we all got problems"

As opposed to fake tears

Money laundering for sure

@@nates.2844 I think I just watched a video yesterday about that and some supposed mob involvement. Crime is the easiest and first thought of why he keeps making movies.

Yes, seagull is so comitted, he's out on day release killing the buffet 😉

Dollar store action movie-So true!😂😂

@@llamaczech The kremlin has been busted with suitcases of cocaine through diplomatic channels, they've been doing even during breżchnev times 😉

Please get help, Friend 😎

Same

There are plenty more reviews out there. Don’t give up!

Get help friend. Contact family and friends..anyone and tell them you need help.

go train

He's repulsive in pretty much every way you can imagine. Can't even shave his retarded face properly. He has "god complex" written all over himself, but in reality he's just a turd on legs.

I beg to differ! It takes real work to actually think that not naming a dog is better than giving it a random name. More words so more energy expended, can't imagine Seagal actually signing off on that, the director must have really worked hard to convince him. Probably doubled his pay too.

Oh my goodness, you are on to something here TJ. Pure laziness and a don't give a crap approach, truly blows my mind. Too lazy to get up and engage in combat and gratuitous abuse of stuntman is beyond funny though.

@Caleb OKAY He's been openly friends with Putin for like a decade.

@Caleb OKAY I'm sure that's how he likes to keep his little world, but from what I've read, he's always been a pussy when it came to People who are capable of hitting him and not contractually obligated not to. I think deep down knows ...

Will Sasso does a better Steven Seagal than Steven Seagal.

Lmao

@@kutter_ttl6786 so true lol

​@@kutter_ttl6786 Yes, it would be awesome to see a Steven Segal movie with both actors. Call it Steven Segals, "Doppelganger".

"And when they don't back down..." (man) "Go back to your room." "...waddles back into his apartment and sends his body double out to show them he means business."

"First he was born, then it went downhill"

Whoa, I would never say either of those things are as bad as Nickelback

@@SpaceIce Satanic Freud approves

@@SpaceIce I like Nickelback :(

@@hazekume5439 my condolences to you then

@@hazekume5439 We're all human beings!🤷

Legendary way to start a video 😂

I think it means that without light, you wouldn't notice the darkness bc there's no point of reference, no contrast. It's still a useless point until I make it, though. Then it's wise as shit.

He knows those places are trouble, and he murders while in there but still goes anyway.

And women constantly wanting to sleep with him.

@@colonelkurtz2269 Sounds like an addict of him.

I think he's trying to snatch every motherf***er strip club

@@utrock5067 He's also addicted to young women who could be his granddaughters - that's why he has a sex scene with one of them in every movie ... our creepy Steven!

It must be wailing like an air raid siren by now.When he eventually snuffs it, they need not Bury him, just hang him out in a garden during winter so the birds can peck at him during cold winters 😊

@@stevekitt52 You could solve the energy crisis by using his cholesterol as a source of fuel

Stuff him full of cranberries and nail a wick to his head.... An long lasting Xmas candle 😁😁😁

You can hear the sloshing sound from the blood being pushed through all the constricted arteries like water running through a rusty clogged pipe.

@@stevekitt52 Hey Steven will never die - Death is too afraid of him!

He put just as much effort in this movie as he did in losing weight.

@@Disconnect350 OUCH! A low blow!

You can tell that some of these scenes took up to a few MINUTES to make.

Yeah, at least... that is why he is always moody.

Right? There are KZfaqrs and Tiktokers who are actually capable of putting out works better than this.

The girls are undoubtedly grateful

Segel has never taken his shirt off in a movie..... Ever

@@p_campbell And let´s hope it stays that way!

@@p_campbell Of course not. He’d have to take off his overcoat first.

Lol me too

😭😭

I do have to say it looks exactly like what he's saying: he's pile driving the little girl.

Don't think he knows how consensual sex works

THIS IS NOT OK.

But Steven Segal un zipped his zipper and his hard long p3nis came out. Then he used his martial arts knowledge of blades and thrusted her multiple times.

@bobby ray of the family smith seems like you're the one who doesn't know what consensual means

I think the fact that the fit, handsome guy her age was turned away to walk the dog with the kid makes it even more egregious. There needs to be a new word invented that captures how truly pathetic and narcissistic this guy is because currently there’s no word in the English language that can achieve it.