Saw him in a small bar in NYC in late afternoon. Walked over to him, said "Hi, I love your work". He said "Thanks" and at that instant, his meal came. I graciously left him so he could eat, but that may STILL be my most favorite conversation of all time.

"I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific." "I bought some batteries, but they weren't included...so I had to buy them again." Steven Wright

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

He found his perfect groove and never left it. Amazing longevity and creativity.

One of the most amazing comedians of all-time....

I love Steven Wright so much! His dry delivery just accents these jokes perfectly!

"I had a very unexciting childhood.My high school colors wear clear," Flat out comedic genius.

"Whenever somebody on the street asks me what time it is, I say 'Sorry, I'm not from around here.'"

@ 2:17 "There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

"sponges grow in the ocean, that kills me. i wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didnt happen?" pure gold

He's the most original comedian ever. I saw his first-ever appearance on Johnny Carson and was stunned at the depth of the jokes. Really, he's one of the all time greats.

"If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?" I don't know if that audience is dense or what, but that joke fucking slayed me.

"I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now when I drive at night it looks like I'm the only one moving." Steven Wright

A friend of mine has a trophy wife but apparently it wasn't first place.

a priest, a rabbi, and a reverend walk into a bar.....the bartender looks up puzzled and says, "So what's this, a joke?" har-har we need more Steven Wrights on planet earth...maybe we would change from flat and become round again..

The most under appreciated comedy genius ever.

One of his best liners, " right now I am having amnesia & de javu at the same time ".

He is brilliant. My favorite comedian of all time! My sister and I wore out our bootlegged VHS tape that we had of him in the early '90's. Even now when we see each other, we have to recite at least half of his act.

One of the best comedians ever in my opinion

I once saw a sign that said "Wet Floor", so I did.

Generally comics avoid telling straight up "jokes" but this guy does it so well

A light in my room went out. I wonder where it is now.

I went for a walk last night she said how long are you going to be gone. I said, " The whole time. "

"I stayed up last night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

'Whenever I think about the past it just brings back so many memories' its so brilliantly out of context, superb comedian.

It makes me happy to see a Steven Wright video with this many views.

It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it. Pure genius

Thiis guy is one of the few American stand up comedians that can make me laugh out loud, the man's a legend !

Why did hardly anyone laugh at the mime joke? That was one of the best ones.

My grandma called me over and said "Here's five dollars- don't tell your mom I'm giving this to you" I said "It'll cost you more than that:

I love how he generalizes an abstract concept to create humor: “some people are afraid of heights - I’m afraid of widths”. Also: “I was doing 100 miles an hour and a cop pulled me over. He said, ‘Don’t you know the speed limit is 40 miles per hour?’ I said, ‘Yeah, but I wasn’t going to be out that long’ “

I went to see the ballet. All the dancers were standing on tiptoe. I said, "why don't they just get taller dancers?"

I was at this show. He, was my favourite act of the night. Could easily have halved the other acts and let Steven do an hour.

2:16 - I love this one. It's so clever. At first, it's funny "just because" of the mental picture. Then you connect the "thin line" bit, and you laugh again. You can actually hear the audience do it.

I love, how it takes a few seconds for the joke to work and laughter gradually increases. LoL

The Best! Steven kills! Not on this one, but one of my favorites is, "Every once in a while, I lean out my window, look in the sky and just wave. In case anyone's taking a satellite photo."

The master at his best....no one even comes close to this guy!!!

Steven Wright once said...."If god took acid, would he see people?" LOL

You could make an argument that Steven Wright is the most original comic ever. Several of his one-liners could be considered as funny and as original as they get. For instance: * I had some instant water but didn't know what to add. * Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. * Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? * If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Some people who are not into his humor (the same people who think Monty Python isn't funny) assume this is just the work of a "stoner." Really, who else thinks of jokes like these? Like Steve Martin, the guy has been brilliant for decades.

Have to admit, to my shame, that I had not heard of this guy until tonight. Watching a BBC comedy documentary and his name came up. This guy is genius. One of the best ever. Remember the line about a friend of his who had false teeth with braces! Or who had side burns behind his ears! It just creased me!!🤣🤣🤣😋

'Drove past a shop window the other day with two signs on it: help wanted, self-service. So I went in and hired myself'...

I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.

This guy is pretty good. I like the no nonsense approach. 7 mins straight or just jokes, dassit, no filler, I respect it.

The verbal equivalent of Larsen's "The Far Side".

this guy is a GENIUS

This guy is trying so hard not to laugh at his own jokes, and he does a great job at it..its his character, for that i respect him..love you STEVE!

I always love when he cracks a smile every now and then when one of his jokes goes over the audiences head.

my favorite Steven Wright is,If a mime gets arrested would he have the right to remain sileint

The "sponges growing in the ocean" joke broke me. I've been a Steven Wright fan for years. I miss the hey days of his, Mitch Hedberg's (RIP), Jerry Seinfeld's, Rodney Dangerfield's, Jack Benny's, et. al. The days of true comic wit, sans vulgar language and innuendo are over.

This guy could single handedly destroy any AI.

One time I put instant coffee in the microwave. I almost went back in time.

His comedy is deep and stupid at the same time, definitely one of my favorites

My ears really enjoyed the surround sound!

This guy and Mitch Hedburg break my ribs. I have a headache from laughing so hard I can't inhale a breath. If I die it will be worth it.

i like how he never smiles...just keeps a straight face....its halarious this guy is so funny

Saw Steve perform at the Dominion Theatre on Tottenham Court Road in London around 1996

Always one of my fave comedians. This is one of his best performances IMHO. A true original.

i had a friend who was a radio announcer, everytime he drove under a bridge, he stopped talking.

The "shoot a mime" joke was hilarious............ I guess these people had either heard the joke before.................or they didn't get it.

Love this guy. The unscented perfume reminded me of my mother choosing the soap in the bubblebath at the amusement park.. She told me later, she had pressed "none" -- thinking it was a soap. :)

"I used to work at a factory that made fire hydrants. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."

Intelligent humour for intelligent people. I love surrealism in all forms - art, music, literature and comedy.

"If you could know how and when you'd die, would you want to know?""No.""Forget it then".

I came home and everything had been replaced with an exact duplicate.

I always love how he was hitchhiking and a hearse stopped and he told the guy he wasn't going that far

Never go see Steven Wright when you're high. I don't know how but, somehow, I'm still there. 😲🤪😶🧐

"My plans to be spontaneous fell through at the last minute." "I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one."

That mime joke laid an egg with this audience. He was surprised; you can tell.

"whenever I think about the past, it brings up so many memories"

Put your seatbelt on, I wanna try somethin'.

Paranoid Retriever must be the best two liner I've ever heard.

One of the greatest comics ever. Mitch is his protoge

I LOVE this guy! And am proud to say I own and enjoy watching his "When the Leaves Blow Away" movie. Thanks for posting this. This is an especially fun performance.

I went to the doctor today and told him " I keep feeling like a dog ". He asked " how long has this been going on? ". I replied " since I was a puppy!! ".

There will never ever be someone as original as this chap. He makes me chuckle.

One of the best comics

Kenny called; he's in jail, he didn't leave a number, sincerely: THE GUY ON THE COUCH.

I personally feel this guy has some of the best deadpan one liners of any comedian out there. He could write on SNLs Jack handy sketch for decades.

One of my favorite comedians ever. He's wicked funny!

One of the best ALL TIME... maybe my favorite all time. My girlfiend asked me, "If you could know how, and when you are going to die would you want to?" I said, "No", and she said, "Forget it then."

Recently, I watched this very funny documentary about a paralyzed veteran who was trying to do a stand-up comedy routine.

Put on your seatbelt, I wanna try something... that made me crack up laughing

Back in Vaudville days this was the only style of comedy there was , one liners . Slowly we moved into more of the storytelling style common today . But for somebody to be able to still do this style so well and for so long is really special.

The king of hilarious alternate scenario comedy that makes you think and laugh at the same time

He told the exact same jokes the last time I watched this...

I want to get a life sized tattoo of myself, only bigger.

Maaan lol honestly there were a couple misses but 90% of this had me in tears

He is so fantastic - wish he would do more now.

one liner king!

I love how some of his jokes take a couple of seconds for the audience to get......first a bit of polite chuckles and then it sinks in......lol

The best standup he's ever done.

This is my first time hearing this guy. Just brilliant, I know I know, I’m foreign, well not here I’m not

Wright influenced an entire generation of stand up comics. Dimitri Martin is definitely one of his disciples.

I live at the end of a one way, dead end street.

There should be a documentary on this guy he's so great.

Amazing the whole set is as funny today as 30 yrs ago...

Steven was on Craig Ferguson's show once and said, "If I were you I'd be sitting over there" pointing to where Craig was sitting. For some reason that absolutely SLAYED me and I laughed a solid 10 minutes. Even half an hour later when I thought about it I busted out laughing once again. [edit: Found it! kzfaq.info/get/bejne/fZ2KhNqFqb24fH0.html Of course watching it now, many years later it doesn't have the same punch anymore, but still funny to me]

He got annoyed, as I would, when someone exclaimed "what???" immediately after the delivery of "if you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?" - you could see him wince, when they didn't get it - and the pained stifling of the desire to shout out the explanation, "because mimes dont make a sound you idiot!" - Steven Wright is a genius and has commitment to his artistic presentation - in contrast to another genius, with a different style - from a different era (playing for a more weathered audience today), Louis CK - who has no qualms about responding to inappropriate, and inappropriately timed comments with "just go home and kills yourself" lol I was craving for Steven Wright to shout that at him, in lieu of my quavering Shadenfreude, the secret delight at another's misfortune - except not your run of the mill 21st century jealous Shadenfreude - but rather the indignant joy in another's bold public stupidity, in the face of bold genius - it's that juicy crystal clear clashing juxtaposition that you just crave like a lion craves a meal immediately after the inappropriate comment - and it is clear what the relationship is going to be between those two qualities of consciousness - the classic, truest, most noble form of Shadenfreude - when you know they deserve it - and it's funny

If you heard no laughs at the 5:12 joke, it's because they were mimes.

I like to fill my tub up with water then turn the shower on and act like I’m in a submarine that’s been hit!! 😂😂