Comment your biggest takeaway below! (I personally read through EVERY single comment) 👉 BOOK YOUR FREE COACHING SESSION: bit.ly/2S9YVum 🔥 Get your copy of my RECORD-BREAKING program Transformation Mastery: bit.ly/3vse34E 💎 My 12-month INTERACTIVE guide to personal transformation: bit.ly/3gUaccv 🕺 Unlock my STEP-BY-STEP social skills method: bit.ly/3aR0cQu ✨ Become a CERTIFIED coach on my team: bit.ly/403Eywd 🚨 WATCH ME NEXT - How to boost your self esteem: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/rZhnociftZ3Ko4U.html - Live coaching demonstration: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/j6mVgpB6tcW4XYU.html - How we improved our social skills as fast as we could: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/htZ0mZqCvLamdHk.html - Learn how to make people chase you: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/laylrKWG3ZydiHU.html

‘If they leave, I’m back to being not good enough.’ - This explains all of my relationships so far. Now I know why. I gotta learn to see myself as a full person, someone who is enough on their own. Dang.

I love the analogy that if you wouldn't say it to your kids don't say it to you. Or if your child felt guilty you wouldn't make them feel that way for years. It's so true. I've been pretty harsh on myself I think because I'm a bit of a perfectionist. Loving and respecting yourself must come first and then you'll have a foundation to enter a relationship with someone.

If they leave or walk away, sure it'll hurt like hell. But you'll still be you, and that's all that matters. ❤

7:00 “nothing can diminish me, nothing can enhance me” Beautiful.

I’ve learnt that fear of loss can lead to you not being your true self, lying about who you are, and not speaking your mind meaning you end up telling friends about relationship problems --> a huge mess

Following you since the old days. After one year of inner work and letting go of cringe, awkwardness, self attack, severe trauma and pain I finally stopped self destruction. Years of heavy drug use, overdoses, dozens of emergency hospitalizations, isolation. Now I am Clean, new friends, job interview, healthy lifestyle without pressure maintaining it. I'm literally crying while typing this because my whole family can finally stop worrying about me. If there is a Karma bank account in the universe you are one of the richest people on this planet, because you have no idea how huge the butterfly effect of your work is. You are the best distillation device of selp help in the space and I thank you so much.

Im stuck in an area where I’m obsessing over the woman I loved who broke up with me 5 weeks ago. The advice in this video may help me to face the situation and actually accept what happened and hopefully move forward with my life

I do think people are better humans when they’re in a relationship with a partner that’s good for them

Haven't watched your videos in at least 8 years. Just gotta say you changed the way I look at myself, got me to approach more women, increased my self confidence, and helped me have better relationships. Glad to see you still helping other young men out there. Cheers.

I used to think being in a relationship will fulfill me and I ended up being in an abusive relationship and then in a “settling” relationship with a person who just wasn’t right for me. I’m learning now to let go of this fear of being alone and let go of guilt tripping myself for those choices. I still want a family one day but I’m accepting that, first and foremost, I need to be content with myself and accept my life as the great learning lessons that brought me here. Big sign that I’m on the right path is that six months ago, I was super attracted to a very interesting and successful but super damaged alcoholic. Because I related to his trauma and self-destruction. I’m not that person anymore. I don’t find self-destruction and using childhood trauma as excuses relatable anymore. Thank you for this video. It’s helping me continue on the right path.

This video came at the perfect timing, I am in the midst of waves of trying to know why I am so resistent to being in a relationship. Its quite opposite to what you said, I am not needing or attached but more on the resistent and fearing of abandonment if I get into one. I also love what you said on two wholes coming together and forming a relationship, not the other person completing the other. Thank you! 🙏🏻

I’ve done a lot of self healing through tapping into communication with my inner child and telling myself things like “what would Little Me think or say about this that or the other?” “Do it for little me” or “don’t do that to Little Me” and it’s helps me immensely

Thank you. Love the humouristic touch along with a great speech/message. I like how you change your voice occasionally and that you sometimes asks questions and pauses. It was a very nice 18 minutes to listen to this and I hope this will help me with my neediness and the way I feel about being alone. I have been more fine being alone before but since I got a dog to take care of, my mental state has become worse. Now my dog is rehomed and I try to "find myself" again and build myself up. Thank you for this!

I've been studying attachment and Buddhism and have been going through a tough break up and it's funny how succinctly and masterfully communicated some of the more complex concepts I've come across are in this single vid. Excellent

I'm going through a difficult phase in my life and relationship and this is exactly what I needed. Thankyou brother.

This has just made me totally realise how i have been feeling for the last 1 1/2 years after a break up from a long term relationship. Thank you so much, i need to now change how I think about myself.

Needed to hear a lot of this. I have some pretty deep fears that my partner will leave me, and also know that’s based on my own self acceptance issues. Thank you for sharing your insight and knowledge. Always working to be better, progress not perfection. Thank you!

This is really interesting! I've recently started to love myself more and more and now I'm waaay more confident than I used to be! I still think I'm not confident enough yet, but I'll continue to try to improve!

Undoing brain washing one person at a time, thanks Julien, I’m glad you got the opportunity to help so many people you’re pretty good at getting your messages across.

"Happiness is just around the corner." Keep chasing it, or open your eyes and stop this illusion.

It was always the saying “love yourself first”. To me, it was just a cliché that everybody was saying and I couldn’t really connect with it. Your presentation here made me finally realise what everyone was talking about. Thank you for this. You used wonderful metaphors and great arguments and explained this to everyone better than anybody else. Well done and thank you for this.

Thank you for this insightful perspective on relationships and human connections. Like you said: Disney and Hollywood glorify the idea of finding your soulmate and completing each other. Thus setting up the frame that we are not good enough on our own and need someone else to make us whole. All you get out of that is fear of loss and manipulation in relationships. Most people live in scarcity and have never actually experienced love, but rather attachment and craving. The first person they meet, they NEED to keep, because who else will they find ? That's why it's so important to come into a relationship from a place of abundance. Thanks for the video Julien.

This cannot come at a better time than now. This a great slap to my face so I can become better 😅 cause, tbh... I am addicted to the needyness now. To the point where, I'm already being treated so badly in my Relationship, them moving away from me, but me still chasing them. I have cut all contact with them now. And, I'm trying my best to rest and hold back the urge to Unblock and try to pursue them again. I want to end my cycle of needyness. I've been extremely hard on myself all of my life, but, I'm starting to take care of myself bit by bit. Trying to Love the me that has been neglected for so long. Cause, it's true. 'what if Faith or the Universe decides you'll be alone forever?' Then all you've got is yourself. And if you hate yourself, then it's gonna be so hard to Live. I'm still a long way from healing but, I'm taking it step by step

❤ I have been going through this transformation internally, but people around me cannot understand it. They have such a resistance to accepting me that It feels as if I am isolated. I just keep getting this sense that it should feel BETTER not worse.

This is so targeted to my complex inner issues I love it.

Thanks for this video... Lately I felt i was being too attached to a friend of mine. And it got so extreme to the point that i couldn't pass a day without talking to her at least once. Naturally, she felt a bit uncomfortable and advised me to distance ourselves for a bit... Even i couldn't understand myself why did i get so severely attached and obsessed with her... I have to get myself back. Thanks again 💖

Holy molly, I came to this mindset recently, I enjoy taking care of myself. Your idea of "don't tell yourself stuff you wouldn't say to your kid" is perfect mantra. Thank you for this video.

Hey Julien, i know you always get a lot of shit on these videos and i would just like to remind you what an amazing human being you are and the fact that you bring insane value to this world, especially to those who are actually willing to listen and make big changes to become a better self. Always remember that despite the critics your value will never diminish so on behalf on humanity I would like to thank you for being so kind and sharing your wisdom with us. All the best ❤️

A soul connection is a resonance between two people who respond to the essential beauty of each other's individual natures, behind their facades, and who connect on this deeper level. This kind of mutual recognition provides the catalyst for a potent alchemy. It is a sacred alliance whose purpose is to help both partners discover and realize their deepest potentials. While a heart connection lets us appreciate those we love just as they are, a soul connection opens up a further dimension -- seeing and loving them for who they could be, and for who we could become under their influence. This means recognizing that we both have an important part to play in helping each other become more fully who we are....A soul connection not only inspires us to expand, but also forces us to confront whatever stands in the way of that expansion. This is not attachment and is definitely not unhealthy, but I understand that the general concept of "soul mate" would appear to be one of "you complete me"

Thanks a lot for this video. I was needy of friends all the time but I learnt to be happy with myself. All 40yrs, someone will come and complete me. I stopped searching 3days ago and today I am watching this video. That is life In vice Versa, my girl friend or boy friend may got bored very soon and neglected in past . It broke me very badly because I never loved myself all these 40 yrs. but I am happy now , love myself , happy myself

Two weeks ago I broke off a relationship with someone I knew for 6 months. Was an LTR for these last 2 months. Really thought we could be a team, she seemed to "get me" like almost no one else. Once in the LTR, she completely changed for the worse. There was gaslighting, increasing disrespect, extreme double standards and jealousy (everyone in my life was a threat to her) on her part. Nothing added up. In a heated argument about these double standards and her untrustworthy behavior (she was being manipulative & "telling on herself"), I left and there's been no contact since. We had both made comments like this could be the love of our lives, & we're a bit older (Owen's age). In my research since, she is textbook NPD and BPD. I have been around the block, but this has thrown me - the amount of trauma in a short period of time. I need healing and peace.

loved how effortlessly you explained this ! we have our power to feel complete and safe within our own energy..you have such a deep understanding on this ..grateful for this video🌻

Yes! It’s like you’re the parent yelling to everyone “please love my kid! Cause I don’t know how to!”. Key is to love yourself and inner child because all this time all you needed was you. Everything else is just circumstantial and not a reflection of your worth. Had to learn this the long and hard way 🙃

Damn, I watched you all the way back in the early 2010s, you are one of the ones who made me make my own self-dev channel (not this one). You guys were WAY ahead of the game back then. You've still got it. Grats on the kids too.

14:14 this kind of thinking "Would I say that to someone I care about" is what actually got me through my existential crisis. It's really simple, but crazy how little we actually think in that regard.

I saw your video pop up many times and always scrolled passed it. I'm not chasing anyone, I have no potential love interests, so I'm not needy don't need to watch that. This is exactly what I needed to watch. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I consider that I used to be a blind person and you have given me sight. Put in a way that makes 100% sense, brilliant. Thank you.

This video is completely eye opening and inspiring!! It makes me reflect on what truly is gonna fulfill me then? If it's not friendships, competence of a job, relationship. Of course all this is important to be steady but in the basis, what is gonna fulfill me inside? Gotta meditate

Thanks man, I have been struggling with this always, I haven't been treating myself well and I promise I'll treat myself like I would to a loved one.

Interesting point of view, I also feel we're social beings, human contact is important at some point, kind of hard to say to someone who never get touched by the opposite sex to not be needy. That person would need to be touched to realize if it's that good or not. Some stuff need to be done, mistakes need to be made, good things need to be lived. I don't think it's that simple with all those emotions we have as humans

One thing I always notice is that it never can be forced, yet, love happens when we least expect it.

Thank you. We should love, approve, respect, enjoy being ourselves (enjoy what you do and do what you enjoy) more.

I used to have a friend with very bad attachment issues and fear of abandonment. Both of her parents died last year from covid so i kind of understand where her behavior stems from. I was very susceptible and perceptive to her emotional pain and needs, so she didn’t really use to talk to anyone else in our class except me since i was the only one who seemed to care about what she was going through and i wanted to help her out. It was fine at first, but after a while she became so clingy I couldn’t even go to the bathroom alone because she would come right after me. Even if I told her I needed some space for myself she would continue talking about her own things without even paying any attention to what i was saying. Even if she CLEARLY saw that i was busy doing something else she’d still come up to me and interrupt my activities with absolutely no remorse, and every time she did so i felt obligated to comply because i knew she was already going through a hard time at home and i didn’t want to worsen her mental state any more than it already is. What made me change my mind about this whole situation was one day when i spent time with my other friends at school. She became so attached to me I couldn’t even get a word in with the others because she would chime right in and take me away from them. She used to gossip and tell me negative things about my friends a lot just to make me stay away from them and spend more time with her instead (my friends told me beforehand that they don’t want to have anything to do with her and we couldn’t have been a friend group together, therefore i spent time with each of them separately). So this one time i spent an entire day with my other friends and at some point she came up to me and said: “Do you like spending time with X and Y more than with me? 🥺” THAT was it. That ended it. I couldn’t take it anymore i felt like i was going to explode if i kept staying with her any longer. I told her that our friendship won’t work out, that we have nothing in common, that all of our conversations only revolve around her trauma which always end up with me consoling her (i was so angry i also wanted to tell her that she was being too self-centered but i felt like she would start crying on the spot if i said that so i contained myself) Ironically enough, she began yelling at me, saying that my behaviour towards her is extremely toxic and a bunch of illogical stuff that pointed to her thinking of herself as a victim. She said that i’ve used her “for my own gains” after she was the one who kept forcing me to spend time with her as much as possible. We are still in the same class but we don’t talk to each other anymore. Whenever i catch a glimpse of her in the halls i try to actively avoid her if i can or just say hi so she doesn’t think i hold some kind of grudge. I really wanted to help her out, but some problems are better left for professional therapists to solve

It’s one of the best videos about relationships’ psychology and motivation I’ve ever seen. Thanks!!

I’ve been listening to this guy since 2016. Bruh is so underrated.

This is what i needed to hear ♡ after being hurt so many times its easy to fall into bad habits. Time to self-reflect and find myself before I rush into anything again 😊

Honestly I wasn't going to post this because of the amount of shame I still feel for being that type of guy and getting manipulated by the person I least expected it from my childhood friend/girlfriend cause that's how the relationship felt even though we where just friends for over 10 years since kinder up to a sophomore I would be the needed one but once I stopped or slowed down the need then she would pull back and then that would make me need her again and it wasn't even that I need her cause I've learned to be independent from a young age but it was the fear of someone else having her and her not wanting to be friends no more .the craziest thing is that I thought it was real love since we started that relationship when we where kids and maybe it was but then it just turned into an attachment in the end she made me chase her again so I did then she pulled back . I finally saw the pattern and decide not to chase for once and that was the last time I saw her 😮😢😊😅

The tones and accents keep me SO engaged. I love the expressions, it's how I emote lol this was FANTASTIC. I am so glad I watched this.

I dont understand selflove and selfrespect before i knew this video .thank you i am trying to understand to love myself the whole time .

Nice take of self-love and self-fulfilment. You can’t truly love someone else until you are satisfied and comfortable with yourself.

I tried explain this exactly to people in Twin Flame community and they almost exploded from anger. 😅 It's so sick to think that we aren't complete and someone else can give us sense of value or meaning of life.❤

This whole video is just de-stressing me and i feel so good ❤❤❤ thankyou so much for what you do, just some things i needed to hear or be reminded by ❤❤ Thankyouuu

I always say I’ve never been in love. And it’s true because I never truly loved myself. Now I do. I trust that the next time I find someone it will be love, because I wouldn’t accept anything less

Thank you for what you do. I needed to hear this about not being enough. I've always knew I'm enough. But I've forgotten about. Eating dinner alone has been easy for me years ago. Before being married for 15+y and divorced now. An not been single for many years. So I forgotten what I was like before being married. An I'm learning who I am again. It's been driving me crazy because of not remembering me before marriage. I have adhd so I forget things fairly easy and it's hard to get those thoughts back without a outside spark to bring the thought back. That's what this video helped me to remember. Thank you again.

I struggle with self love, self respect and self commitment so much. This video actually just helped me… it put a lot of things in perspective. I seriously need to… do better. I write music… and have been for years. Every relationship I have ever gotten into… destroyed me. I always end up giving everything to that person… and lose myself. To the point where I am dysfunctional around others. I wish to be and feel like a complete human. But damn nah you right af I DO have hands!

Quite insightful about something that should be obvious. Enjoyed your analogies and descriptions; they are relatable funny, relevant, and visceral.

It truly is a nightmare thinking something or someone is needed to complete the circle. Once the realization of self completion dawns, everything else begins to fall into place.

SUMMARY : ~Stop chasing things they not gonna satisfy your need You are good on your own ...example : If you think you need relationship to be happy you will still be unhappy because of the *fear of loosing it* (or you'll want more and more from that relationship like a greedy person) The more you need something the more you experience neediness

Dude, this is effin great talk! Much wisdom in nearly every point made in here, very impressive but also very relatable.

As someone that was a broken person in a relationship with another broken person it is one of those situations where it works absolutely perfectly until it doesn't. The second it starts cracking is the exact same second that the entire floor of the relationships has already disappeared beneath you and you're in complete chaotic freefall. I have extreme abandonment issues, most people in my life have just disappeared on me and in my best guess have forgotten I even exist; Because of this I make an effort to never give up on anyone until I have to cut them out because it is literally going to kill me and I've been to that place several times in my life. So this relationship was no different. I've mentioned my abandonment issues, her issues were from her parents dying when she was in early high school to drugs and alcohol and her adoptive parents being a rage addict and a recovering alcoholic and her being pushed into ALNON from her parents' death onwards. She was a serial monogamist and I was overly dedicated to someone I knew was going to leave me or make me end things because of how bad they would get for me, obviously not a good combination. I was with her for 2.5 years we were engaged for 6 months, she then started becoming unstable and eventually it became violent. Eventually she decided she wanted to break off the engagement but keep the relationship going, which I read as "I want to soft end this relationship but I want to drag it out until I have another man lined up", which now I think she already had someone else lined up and she may have cheated. At the time I told her that we could work with that and see where it went, we agreed on terms, but nothing was ever the same again. Eventually we got engaged again, under the agreement that if she ever took off the ring again, the relationship was entirely over. It lasted two weeks until she finally took the ring off; she then proceeded to physically assault me several times, and on one instance I attempted to drink myself to a point of alcohol poisoning with no luck where she proceeded to bring my gun down from under the bed and told me to just do it so she could move on with her life. At this point I decided to move out of our house, move across the state. She proceeded to stalk me for over a year, even after getting a new boyfriend. I moved across the country, had to change my phone number twice, and finally the calls stopped. Somehow she got married this past December, I'm 100% sure she doesn't even remember that I exist or was a major part of her life for years. Meanwhile I've been single for almost 5 years still trying to recover, getting an increasingly warped view of the female approach to life, and have basically become completely incapable of healthy human interaction. Nothing good comes from trying to find someone to complete you; you just end up missing more parts especially if the person that you're trying to complete yourself with is also missing parts of themselves. I got the TV; she got what was left of my humanity.

I love that on top of delivering good life advice, you're also a comedian who delivers a lot of funny analogies to make your point. 😅

Really needed this video. Opened my eyes with it. Thanks man you're awesome.

I think we generate this feeling of wanting to be with another to simply motivate ourselves to do that very thing. Simple as that. There is a good reason to want to be with someone else and one of those reasons is making a baby. If you had a throbbing desire to get a pen to "make you whole" you now have a pen to write and draw with. Which is HUGELY beneficial.

I feel like it's impossible to get rid of needs, but it's healthy to work towards "yes I have needs, but without acomplishing them, i'll still be ok"

I agree with this on the relationship level. Fully agree with that especially with looking at yourself as a whole….In life though I would hope everyone is always looking for better, especially in terms of jobs. The thing that really truly makes me feel terrible is getting stepped on and treated unfairly. When you get complacent and too happy with your bosses at a job, what happens? They screw you over. Make sure you are always looking for more there.

I needed to here this exact thing. Thank you. Now I know what went wrong.

Great vid boss, you and Owen have been such an essential part of my journey

Your video is knowledgeable, humorous, and enjoyable! Thank you.

Speaking facts, my guy!

He’s right in his core message. You need to love yourself and not depend on anyone/anything for your happiness because life is unpredictable, but he can’t say more money or better relationships won’t make you happier, because they will. I am a witness to it. As long as you know how to use the money and your relationships florish.

Experienced most of this and still shining on my future mission 😎🎯 great anology

wonderful video! I watched a clip of this video on instagram and it made sense to me so I came here to watch the entire video. I have struggled with attachment to people. This video is definitely helpful!

We give meaning to actions people places. We take our power back take the meaning off it. Amazing talk. Thank you 🙏

I needed to hear this today. Thank you sir.

perfect! soooo freaking awesome. thanks. 100%!

This video is one big treasure, packed with value! I absolutely love the many light bulbs that could potentially be lit listening to this share! Outstanding!

The fact that is appeared at my page. I am so glad. This is brillant. The fact that we don't respect ourselves and don't care about ourselves and say shitty things to ourselves is sad but that's the truth

Thanks for sharing your understandings with me, I appreciate.

Great content, helpful and informative thank you!

thank you for this video!

This video couldn’t be more important to me rn I really appreciate this

Love it. Your channel deserves more subscribers

I have always heard of the word "self-love" and thought I knew the meaning, but this video, the explanation and the way it is delivered shifted the perspective of my understanding. Brilliant brother 👏🏼 and thanks 🙏🏽

This is exactly what I needed to hear, this is really great help

This really change my perspectives. The way you explain is beautiful like Budda teaching his disciplines, to enlightenment. Always being complete first

this is the best domain (letting go) that every personne can learn in live... if you know more things tell us all about them i want to hear it all

So listen, this is awesome stuff!

I needed to hear this. I would get anxious and overcompensate to make up my self worth 😢

Awesome video and i agree with it with 99%. But there is kinda theme missed about things like crooked teeth, or with really yellow tone for example or acne. I think its okay to set a goal to work on that with diet and working on getting money for teeth. rather than accepting who you are with things that can be work on and are not your trait and can definitely help with confidence and being in love with your body

Excellent video! So true!

This actually just changed my life ima download it and listen to it everyday.

Thank you for your reflection.

Your a boss Julien og 2012 Melb boot camp student here I’m starting to get back on track and hopefully I can come to one of your live events in the future

I really loved this video, thank you julien. Really beautiful video

While I understand and agree to the most part, humans are wired to partner and be close with other humans. We do need eachother but there’s a fine like between codependency and need in a healthy way.

Hey Mann,this video helped me a lot with the things I have been going through. So thank you

now i learn how to be in relationship with ourselves...😍thank you brother...

Ironically I've become needy watching this presentation over and over again 😊

Thanks a lot Julien!

Bro! You blessed me today. I feel whole now.