This one hit really close to home for me. Especially the bit about feeling like you are lazy if you don't accomplish enough in a day. So very me.

One of my tricks to improve in this over-functioning way of living, I consider resting as part of the to-do list. I include some personal pleasures into my to-do list, like taking a bath, or napping, or playing a game for some time, and enjoying them in the present moment when doing those things, rather than doing them in a "I'm ticking a box" kind of way.

This is very helpful. Realizing I need to focus on my OWN journey. "Success" does not mean something has to be "perfect". In fact, as humans, we really can't do anything "perfectly".

A wise counsellor once told me I am a human being not a human doing. I have to give myself permIssion for leisure time because I am worth it. all the signs you described above are symptomps of codependancy. I have been in codependant recovery for many years and saying no has been the hardest lesson

This is a reminder I really needed, I put in way too much effort compared to everyone else!! I hope you have a lovely day 💛

This is so true to me. And the funny thing is, I have thought about many of your points, but I treated them as "goals" that I needed to accomplish or "problems" that I needed to solve. But really, the problem lies within my understanding of self-values. I am only 20 years old, but I've been pushing myself so hard. I was constantly struggling to outperform my parents' expectations while experimenting with my own path as a rebellion. I literally work like a dog every day to get those As, to fulfill those internship hours, to socialize, and at night to build my little startup. One thing true about me is that I love comparing myself to the most talented people around me and I hate to admit my mediocracy. My mom really wanted me to do well in math, and my whole experience on the math team back in high school was terrible. My confidence was crushed by a good friend who was just so terribly smart and talented in maths (and he went to MIT with a full-ride). When I rebelled from the pre-med track in the first year of college and started to do politics and debate, I immediately compared myself to those national champions in the same circuit and felt hopelessly stupid. It is truly hard for a go-getter to change his/her/their minds because, at least in my case, I almost treat it as a human instinct that is beneficial to my personal survival. I am passive, but cautiousness saves me from the worst scenario. I overwork, but overwork makes me ahead of some other folks. I have such a strong sense and motivation within me. But you're right. I deserve some appreciation from myself. And I deserve some free time. So instead of doing some extra Econ readings, I'll just go to bed and read books tonight.

Thank you for your message. Yes, I'm an over functioner :D I get depleted and over stimulated easily by doing too much and then crashing in guilt and shame. It is a horrible cycle, but learning about it helps and knowing that I'm not alone.

I’m more sensitive, more emotional, more empathic and caring Julia.

First time commenting here. If only I had found your channel 4 years ago, heck 10 months ago. After living a "broken" childhood, I found my self, at the age of 19, stuck in life. I took a moment to grieve my losses and understand what I was feeling so that I could actually forgive and move on. Weighing my options, all or nothing, I chose the "all". I had to make many changes very rapidly. I set goals and I worked towards them. I've had to learn about depression and anxiety. My only strategy is to keep moving. I won't lie, it hasn't been easy. Especially without any form of support. It's hard for me to realize how far I have come in just ten months. Thank you for the work you are doing.

Much needed!! I'm definitely an over functioner and feel guilty for resting. I have made myself physically ill from doing too much, burning the wick at both ends. Thank you for these healing words!

Three things in particular clicked with me. Asking for help, taking a rest, and saying no. It has to do with the fact that I sometimes don't know what else to do, I'm often tired and could use a nap, and some people don't know when to let up. I say if they can't take no for an answer then try hell no.

The wrong choices can bring us to the right places. The biggest failures often carry the best lessons. When you fail to get what you want, consider that it just might be a blessing in disguise. Seriously, be grateful that certain connections and situations didn’t work out. If you didn’t let go and learn, you would be stuck with false promises. Celebrate your progress. It’s funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Eventually you’ll end up where you need to be, doing the right things, alongside the right people. Patience and persistence are the key. But don’t forget to pause on occasion and appreciate how far you’ve come too. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve grown a lot. Give yourself credit for the steps you’ve taken, so you can step forward again with grace. Afterthoughts… On Stepping Through a Day with Grace All details aside, the goal in the year ahead is to grow so strong on the inside that nothing on the outside can affect your inner wellness without your conscious permission. It’s about letting go of fantasies, accepting reality, having faith in your journey, and appreciating all the little things that are within your reach. As you continue to progress forward, do your best to avoid letting anyone or anything clutter your peace of mind. Live a life that moves you and makes you smile every day. Because you don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow even, and realize that your life is merely a collection of stressful expectations and “somedays” and errands and receipts and empty promises. You CAN choose differently! You CAN step through each day with grace… peeeace🕊

Hey Julia, "Lead from the heart and wants to move forward" - A great way to explain the heart-centered go-getter. Over functioning, yes that gets tricky when you work in the helping field. Learning it is ok to set boundaries took some time but that has been a game-changer for me. You help remind me to set the track you want to be on and be yourself. If only it was as easy to be kind to ourselves as is it to others.

Great video Julia!🙏🏻💕 I see a lot of childhood trauma survivors who also tend to over-function too -and have signs of autoimmune/health issues, which link a lot to the exhaustion we can feel! Such an important topic from you as usual!❤️

Hey Julia I'm back :) It feels like you are talking directly to me. I could only nod my head the entire video. The good part is, I've already started to be kinder to myself and giving myself some slack. This was a very good reminder that I'm on the right track. Thank you for helping us who are out here struggling

Watched it twice. I suspect that somehow ,julia kristina knows me personally. She makes me see my personal flaws. While listening i tried to mirror mode her concepts, holding her concepts as my temporary state of mind. It does feel better! There is something calming/soothing about listening to a pretty woman , speaking words of wisdom. Despite the fact that english is not my first language, slowly, her words are sipping through. Glad to notice it. Julia kristina is the only human being that gets to me. She does it with a smile. It feels she really cares for you. I cherish her in my mind for times when my life seem so low. I find solace in her mere image.

You can easily tell Julia is a REAL one....

Before, I don't take much breaks during work or even at home. I work hard, thinking it would make me feel worthy. But one day, I just stopped. I took a break I needed, sometimes even longer than the usual. I tried to do things I enjoy as part of my relaxation. It did me good. And watching this reminded me that I have changed even if it's a little bit. Thank you!

I’m an introvert Julia and I think it’s keeping me stuck.

Julia, I am learning so much from you. Thank you for setting the example of living true to your purpose, being of service to the world in an authentic way, and shining a light in our hearts!

Julia is so young and so wise. I would like to live enough to see her becoming mature, and still be able to share her excelent advise

We don't need to prove ourselves to anyone including ourselves! Thanks, Julia, for such a greatly timed one! This video is really relatable to me!

This is definitely me and how I give so much to a relationship and all aspects of my life

Powerfully stated! I receive this through the grace of God! Thank you!

OMG today I was talking with my ex-manager about this topic to figure out how to be as good as I were in my previous department.. Thank you very much for helping me clearing my mind and focusing on what is matter the most to be more successful in life and career

I would of never thought I was a heart centered go getter, but I am! When you say that I would instantly think of my daughter! She’s the perfectionist, she overwhelms herself and justifies it because she’s 23 and she has been teaching English Lit to the honor students at a wonderful high school for 2 yrs. now & by summer she’ll be done with her masters! I was a hands on mom and did flash cards at 3 months...She still won’t thank me😂😂😂 no I’m so proud!

With only very little exaggeration I can say - amen.

Constantly trying fix things that might not be my “circus” or fix things that haven’t even happened yet. YOU CANT FIGHT THE CLOCK -IT WINS

Thank you for that insight. I've gone no contact with family...Mom covert narc realization at 54! I'm working on that NO word and trying to grow, as someone who needs to prove my worth this is very helpful to think about a slower journey - my journey to a healthy me - vs abusive relationships. I own my business and definitely never feel like I'm enough - helps to understand the root cause of being an overachiever - reminder that it's okay to slow down & quit trying so hard :) Working on getting past guilt and shame.

Thank you so much Julia! I’ve been following you now since December 2019 after I had a stroke I’m 41 and my life fell apart . I came across you as I was looking for mindfulness but you have helped me so much More! Keep up the amazing work x

I think this year even if not easy for many is a perfect time to learn to let go once and for all because we've got no other choice anyway. We can all understand that we have to lose control of what happens before our eyes. This year enabled me to have no intentions anymore, no specific desires because you often realize that they are not yours but that It's just those of the others, your neighbor, a member of your family, a celebrity but not yours. That's why from now on, I just live my day as It is already done because you don't create anything from the human dimension. You live your journey and your journey, if you have enough intuition, is already done because you are your own unfoldment everyday. Nothing is missed. You just have to follow yourself but not your human condition, your higher human who knows exactly what to do because It's already done. Thank you

You are a real gem! 💎 I can’t thank you enough for all you do. 🤍

sheesh. this one spoke to me. sitting at a pancake house listening to it 4x in a row. thank you for what you do!

Your videos have been candles of light. 🕯⭐️

Your simple words are so deep and important.. Thank you Julia..

This video hits me hard at the right time. Every point that you explained reflects myself so well. I have been diagnosed with MDD, Bipolar Type 2 and axiety disorder and have been on prolonged medical leaves for since end of 2017. In 2020, i returned to work, then after few weeks, the covid19 pandemic strikes. We are working from home. I'm performing great for few months then many things changes and my performance deteriorates significantly. I pushed myself beyond limits but i end up accomplishing nothing. It is very hard to explain myself to my boss and colleagues since i think the problems are all from my inability to manage works and triggers. I have reached my limit lately and fall sick. I can't sleep, feeling suicidal and worthless. The harder i tried the worse i become. I feel hopeless, severely burnt out and disappointed with myself. Worst thing is my poor performance affects other people's works. I feel guilty and ashamed to even exist. Naturally, people get mad at me and i don't blame them. it is my faults. ☹️ Listening to your video helps me to understand my situation better. Thanks Julia. ❤️

I had healed and came back to home after completing my studies. But first house members have treated me as i have committed big mistake. Then they have humiliate to get a job and work. Then why you are sitting. I had to go hard through interviews. in all international companies and local companies. But when I got a job 3000£ job they have said to me to stay home and don't work. Then go and work for local jobs. well I am 29 But my mind feels like rotten tomato. When I want happiness, love,and Positivity in life. I have to face choas in life and the only way is to get rid of these people. But Then they don't allow you to move.

This for me is the perfect graduation video from mental/emotional healing. Beautiful. Go forth!

Yes! I had a relationship break up 3 years Ago and have been uncertain about what to do next ever since. Well after 3 years of pushing, I’m stuck and exhausted. All I have is intention and patience to sit and wait now. Yes, the weights. I’ve been feeling that. So heavy. Great video. Thank you! 🙏

I recently started thinking I should further develop my musical talents by practicing long hours everyday, like Coltrane. The universe spoke to me quickly and often (“that’s not where fulfillment waits”), and this video is now saved in my “timeless” folder for future reminder. I’m indeed a heart centered go getter. Bless you for all your helpful videos.

Love your delivery, clarity and shared passion. I learn sooooo much from you!

Damn; this is ME. I am unpacking codependency, boundaries, overfunctioning (just learned this term from a Brene Brown podcast last week). Overfunctioning is NORMALIZED AND COMMENDED in my profession (teaching) and I love my job but NOT AT THE COST OF MY OWN HEALTH. I have been an overfunctioner for My Entire Life and although I do not "compare" myself per se to others - I definitely meet all other criteria. It is as though somewhere along the line I accepted and owned the myth that I am what I do. And even though cognitively I know this is not healthy - it is a hard truth to move into emotionally. So worth it though. Thank you so much for your to the point, awesome teaching videos. They are really helping me move through on onwards in my journey! Exhausted and resentful all the time is definitely not where I want to be. And in a backwards sort of way, I give credit to this pandemic for finally breaking me down to the point where I saw that something had to change! The only way out of rock bottom is up. :)

This is something I’ve always had a problem with. I’m impatient. Thx Julia, felt like you were talking straight to me

Thank you Julia for helping through difficult moments with your counseling 🤗

Problem for me with to-do list is that if I don't push myself to get it done that day then that means more stress the next day, to do both yesterdays to-dos and the current ones. And so on the more you postpone it. And I already got full days every day, so it's more or less impossible either way.

I have just begun to listen to your sessions. I am amazed by how profoundly I am reacting to your guidance. I feel like you are speaking directly to me! I connected, strongly, this subject with the last point you made in "10 Things That Will Get Better When You Love Yourself" namely Fighting for Acceptance. Working too hard to please, trying to prove (earn) love. I am staying tuned to you! You are so helpful!

Julia, 5:40 am here in Helensville NZ, I'm a long time fan of your thought process. Overfunctioning or Fluidity?The more options people allow themselves to learn in order to reach a decision the greater the chances they confirm a reason to stay still. The other way to look at it is through doing research prior to step's you take - you can simply take them with confidence and if you feel the need for support you are confident that you know where to get the best support quickly. The ability to shake, to feel, to have empathy, as a man too cry and be happy and to smile are all assets which make viewers whole. Instead of thinking overfunctioner think fluid in times of joy and crises, able to assess a situation with ease and follow through with action. Confidence is within me I am XXXXXX charm surrounds me.

This is so true it hurts.

I'm so grateful I came across this video in a way it amazes me that I'm doing more of the right stuff I never feel pressure to be like others I always admire and commend people's achievements but dont reflect to myself I often take a step back I afford .myself alot of calmness ,rest and less anxiety If I have a to do list it is more for reminding me what still needs to be done not as a means of pressure because if I only get stuck at number 2 then I know number one needed attention so I'm pleased with the level of self care I have achieved although I need to say no much more as i tend to always want to show up for people and many times they are not worth it because they are selfish and will not do the same for me.

I'm the master frustrator of overdoing things!!

Hello 👋 JULIA, I’m back again. I wouldn’t give up your videos for the world!🙋‍♂️❤️🙏

Julia another great video I can identify with I know I spent a good part of my life over functioning trying to get everything done, but then I say "doing all this stuff but not accomplishing anything" I don't know how many times I've heard myself say that! it is exhausting to the point of burnout. Thank you Julia for this video it helps to keep things in perspective especially now with all the crap that's going on it makes even harder to remember that it's okay to take a time out and rest.👍

The symptoms that you've mentioned are the life of over functioning people like me. This video alone is opening a whole new humane life for me. I will take all points that you have made into consideration. Thank you so much for this video, sure it will lead my life to better stage.

Loved the comment on the "to do" list! So true, there will never be a shortfall of things to do. 😂

The way this video blows my mind and explains my lifetime struggle, omg!

I think that I have to get everything off my to-do list Julia and I get anxious just like you do Julia.

Thank you very much for all the information. I am learning a lot about myself to improve myself.

dear Julia, this video was a true discovery for me today! this is exactly what i needed as I literally recognized so many of your signs of over-functioning in myself. Thank you for your content and improving people's lives

I’m SOO driven as a small business owner and Musician. Awesome post! Many points

Great! All these videos around issues related with self-trust are so useful for me. Thank you so much, Julia.

Hi Julia, ty so much for this excellent video, been there done that, so many people are unappreciative and ungrateful, I live for myself and to please myself, my experience, ty, Bob,

This is me 1000 miles an hour for like 3 or 4 days then 3 miles an hour for 4 to 5 days dwelling in a deep trench of self pity and dangerous depression. My days of diddling along 3 steps forward two steps back cannot continue, going on 4 years of misery and suffering, psychological, physically, socially, spiritually and mentally. I can't and won't spend much more time with that garbage, I won't. If I don't succeed in all those areas right quick or a significant change in my perception of reality, it's all bad. Does that make sense? I am reaching out for phycological and therapeutic resources, watching your videos almost daily as well as a slew of others. I no longer have a choice about how hard I'm going, it's all or nothing now.

I very much related to your talk today. Be safe. You add so much to the lives of so many of us.

Right on time! Great video...thank you.

Thank you. Very true and eye-opening.

This is sooo me but I'm starting to learn and beginning hopefully to make good and better decisions and in doing so it's how I begin to love my self and feel like life is worth living. Thank you for this video Julia

Thank you so much...this made sooo much sense to me, over functioning and trying soooo hard is ME.... I thought I was caring and only wanted the best for others. I have realised watching your videos I needed to trust myself and step back ☹️

I only recently found out about mindfulness. I love how you are able to point these habits out in such a simplified way and I really appreciate that. I definitely over function but burn out quickly. Wow, this video is so relatable it sounds like your describing me. That's so cool! I look forward to applying.

This video has hit me hard. Thank you for the wisdom you share with the world.

I say yes to often Julia.

I really need to let my journey be my own Julia.

I feel naked with these videos! Heart centered go getters is a perfect definition! Thank you 😊

Wow! I just watched this and I'm tearful. This is me!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I'm running in quicksand with a straitjacket on. Being an African American woman I've always had to prove myself, that I'm intelligent, educated, a hard worker, etc and it's getting to me. I can fake it so good, I'm ready to crawl in a hole and sleep at the end of each day I'm so done. I don't know. I just don't know. 😢

Great video Julia!

All yes to all this.

Very wise speech. Thank you!

I definitely fit the description 😢😢. Great explanation, thanks. Cheers from Italy. Pier.

Wow, dear, thank you! I love ♥️ the Amy Grant song, 🎶"Don't Try So Hard" 🎶

This was much needed. Thank you

Thank you for sharing your knowledge

I am 36 and deffinatly feel the cinder block thing but most of my life. I feel so burnt out and a failure in so many aspects. I have severe adhd hyper sensitivity hf anxiety and depression approval seeking and cptsd. I tried for many years to figure it out on my own and I finally hit the bottom with it all. I got diagnosed and got on cymbalta and adderal I am still struggling in many aspects and have been so burned out that I am actually struggling more with time and getting to work on time which makes me feel even worse about myself. I just dont know what to do. Im tired of struggling and I want to be and do better for myself for my son and myself.

Wow!! This Heart ❤ Centered Go Getter just got an education on what WAS holding me back.. Thank You soo much Julia, I am Moving Forward without the cinder blocks now!! I cant thank you enough 😃🙏🎆🔮

Thanks for this video. I needed to hear this .

Thanks Julia

Julia you are a magician ❤️

Thank you.

I like your material. You don't know how much it helps.

This was so helpful. THANK YOU !!

Thanks again! Your awesome!💞✌

Yes, thank u!!!

It would be interesting to know if this effects 1st born children most often? Or adults that were an only-child? I think it's a natural dysfunction ingrained from early childhood, part of 'adultifying' early. I am speaking of having no sense of a childhood or of knowing how to 'let go'. When I learn from people about their low expectations for their work or their day, it's kind of stunning to me! I have to grow into my lower expectations. I have to be able to leave a situation not 'for later', but 'for good'. Honoring my 1st best effort and then 'Giving Myself a Turn' in Life. Giving to Me and putting Me on My List, absolutely, it makes my day worth living and for sure, I've seen a big improvement and satisfaction in general. Try writing your maiden/childhood nickname on your list of To Do. It's an interesting experiment. I imagine, you'll grow to want more for yourself too. Life's not worth it, if you have to sacrifice yourself completely to have it. XoXoX.

That’s exactly me now days ..over functioning myself -🙏thank you!

Good grief . This is totally me.

Julia, Thank you very much for your videos, very interesting and useful ! Sometimes you think, that you have to got some pain to progress, but I can´t complain about that

_Truth is context-drive; deceit is agenda-driven._ 🌿🌾👀🐡 Sometimes we fool ourselves first.

Hi Kristina. Nice to know you. Merry Christmas. Tim from Guildford England.

If I know I can help someone I will.

Amazing message for ME today. Xo

Hi I am Laura , I am new 2 yur channel. I needed this sooooo much ! I have been dealing w/ this all my life !!

Hello! I really appreciate and relate a lot of your talks.