your mom seems a really good person >3 - fellow genderfluid person :)

Go, Mum!

I'm the same, however I only came out last year, and relatively late in life. My mother was one of the first people to whom I came out. However, she still doesn't use my new pronouns, probably due to force of habit, and that she doesn't want to out me to people I haven't told yet. I've told her it's okay, but it's going to take time. I still present as my AGAB, after all.

Mum gets it!

that's sweet :)

aww, that's so funny!

Thats the best story ever

monke do be like that in asia

The monkey didn't steal his hat because it was always the monkey's hat, her friend just had no idea at the time.

Love that!

That's gonna be a goal

This! 💛

@@xdrakken4710 Same💛💛 I didn't know how much I wanted this until I saw it

I want people to figure out that I'm not a guy or a girl, but I want it to take some mental gymnastics to get there

@@R-R3DH34D-X_X exactly

Omg, im a middle child and i went up to my mom that im Non-binary XD

Hello fellow Enby!

I hope at some point you and your correct pronounces get accepted! Rooting for ya

That's really rough, know you're valid and whatever pronouns you choose to use are valid. I hope you'll be able to surround yourself with people who respect you and your pronouns, you're worthy of that basic level of respect. Actually you're worthy of much more, but starting there😉

Which pronouns do you use? Also, I'm sorry you're having a hard time getting people to respect your pronouns. I hope it gets better.

Hello, fellow Enby, I'm in a similar situation unfortunately. I hope we both find peace 🏳️‍🌈

That's awesome! :D

My pronouns are they/them and 'the one' no further questions

@Stripes I mean... did the joke fly that far over your head or were you just being mean spirited?

*THE PINK ENTITY*

Personal goals, I want to be a gender fuck and I will be, but for now I have not yet achieved it.

"What's your gender?" "Uh, well, its like a dark grayish pink?" "What?" "Exactly."

Ooh, are we twins?

I was actually called mahu before finding out I was intersex and realising I was nb I loved the special attention I was given by our hawaiian culture teacher

it's always this "it's always been like this" oh yeah? how long is your "alwas" and where has it been like this? oh, only in europe in the past 500 to 1000 years? that's hardly representative!

@@karowolkenschaufler7659 are you on crack?

And intersex people existttt

Non-binary doesn’t exist because zero is not a spectrum.

I'm glad you feel like you can wear skirts more comfortably now. Wearing skirts makes you no less non-binary. You are valid.

@@unapologeticallylizzy Thank you, that means a lot. 😁

I'm amab nonbinary and present in a very masculine way myself, learning that nb people can look any way helped me figure out my identity!

I'm with you! I go mainly by she, kept my feminine name, and it was only after I realised that I was enby in my mid-late 20's that I switched to exclusively wearing skirts and dresses. I shunned them growing up because I didn't want to be "girly," and it was only once I realised why I hated that thought that I was able to accept that I could like them.

Someone I know who's AFAB non-binary didn't wear skirts at all before exploring their gender identity. Now they wear skirts often. I think, at least for them, it was not being comfortable presenting as female but not really understanding why. I'm glad you're in a place where you're comfortable wearing the clothing you want to wear.

Oh my god I love it 💛

Your daughter has been raised very well.

I love your daughter. She’s been brought up well, give her a treat from me.

You raised your daughter well :)

I read this wrong and read of as on, but once I got it, I was very happy for your well taught daughter.

When I was four and someone "adult" (like 15 and above) told me something, I believe them; they are the smart grown-ups, so they must be right! A lot of those things will stick, so if you teach them early on, they will usually remember it forever. Which is why if the opposite is taught, many kids grow up with homo/transphobia tyat is hard to get rid off later in life. You teaching your daughter this pretty much guarantees she'll grow up tolerant, understanding and accepting. Good on you!

Thank you. I am new to having figured out that I am NB. It will take a while to figure out how to present myself. 💛💜

Yeah!! As long as I’m not recognised as masculine I don’t care but femininity makes me happiest :))

Exactly, I spent a month at a camp-ish thing and everyone there told me they couldn’t tell if I was afab or amab and the gender euphoria I got was insane. It’s really cool that everybody’s euphoria and disphoria works differently and we should be working to make people feel euphoric whatever it is for them

One time I walked into a sociology class and was asked my pronouns and my response was "oh fuck I'm too gay for that shit" turns out the other new student was a nun from Africa.... and when she was asked she considered for a moment and said "same as them" Again they were a fucking nun

@@ConstantChaos1 😀😀😀

Lol

I wish we had gender neutral bathrooms but sometimes i forget messes like this soooo i think i MIGHT just stick with the girls restroom... I always feel like im just lying to myself when i use it though 😢

As a woman, it's NOT just men who are like that. Women are completely incapable of using a toilet, too. Absolutely hate public bathrooms.

Hey! I know that wizard! Just in case you or someone/anyone else is worried about the gender/s you gambled away: The wizard is taking very well care of every single one of them... S'hey've got heisir own gender issues, being something kinda like pangender but a bit more complex still: S'hey basically feel more comfortable with shiemselves the more gender identities s'hey have, but s'hey're also pretty generous when it comes to giving away gender identities to those who would be happier with them than s'hey, shiemselves, are... Now, if only s'hey could get over heisir terrible gambling addiction...

Not agender, but I love this and want to use this to mean I gambled away the one I was assigned

@@yuuri9064 My headcanon for the gender gambling wizard is that s'hey are the good counterpart to J. K. Rowling.

Thanks for this important life advice!

👌

I think it should be really spelled out for those unfamiliar with the movie: IT IS NOT A MEME! IT IS AN ACTUAL LINE! (I just wanted to point out how wholsome the Addams are 🖤🖤🖤 )

@@Basilissa_Sunight Can confim that scene went exactlyl as shown in the images. Gomez does come in and say "It's an Addams." That is 100% legit.

As a cis male this made me smile. Thank you for that.

true ally right here❤️ as a nb person seeing people like you gives me hope

I‘m a (probably) cis girl and not very feminine but on some days i 100% feel like a girl but on other days I just… don’t know anything anymore Am I cis? Am I genderfluid? Am agender? Nonbinary? Sometimes I’m so sure that I’m a girl but sometimes the concept of gender just doesn’t make sense to me…I’m me. Why do I need to be a girl too? Isn’t „just me“ enough? Idk… Sorry for my rambling and my bad English! It’s pretty late and english isn’t my first language

@@JustJoe10 Nonbinary person here! I don't have much experience with being cis so I can't say much about what it feels like to be a cis woman, but maybe look up the terms demigirl and girlflux? Again, labels really mean nothing at the end of the day, just do what makes you happy :) (Also, your English was fine)

Update: that escalated quickly 😂 I'm still a girl and happy with she/her... but fae and star pronouns are cool too

You're valid and your pronouns are valid! 💛

Hazel is a beautiful name!

the first couple of times people used they/them for me in my presence I was confused about who they were talking about because no one had actually said it out loud to me before

You are the coolest

That is fabulous! XD

That's wonderful

EXACTLY!! it’s clear that even if prince didn’t identify as non-binary (publicly or otherwise), he definitely was vocal about not fitting the binary boxes and a big supporter of inclusivity. i think he’d probably be happy with people using it that way.

I didn't know any of this!!!

I go by Ama online because of the sounds. I'm one of those people that perceive personality traits in letters and numbers, so to me, Ama is the most gender neutral name possible. The sound of the "m" is just the essence of neutrality to me.

I chose the name Taffeta because 1. It sounds like a candy, and 2. A fabric has a cooler name than what my parents gave me :')

I'm sorry your university sucks, but congratulations on graduating and good luck with the legal name change!

@@unapologeticallylizzy agreed

You got this! I feel the name thing my name is Rainsong so everyone compliments my mother, who abused me my whole life. I can’t wait for the name change, and I’m so excited for you guys for a better future!

@@doindaworst5824 good luck with changing your name! We've got this

Quick question: how can you have a conservative university? What country are you studying in? Just curious!

You've summoned a zengender gremlin from the depths of wherever we come from, hello new friend :)

a fellow xeno/neo hoarder....

@@random1380 awesome 😎

so i'm AMAB non-binary but prefer to be quite femme-presenting -- when i'm at the more masc end of things, i often wonder if i'm just deluding myself and feel really fake -- it's all very odd as jamie said, all our identities are valid

I'm afab. I like seeing masc enby representation because I fall under demi-guy. It's great seeing it. Here's a purple heart 💜

Ngl I don't like remembering I have an agab djsisisi but I'm amab and don't consider myself fem masc or androgynous

As an afab nonbinary, I never understood how you can see gender so I don’t care as much about my appearance. Although I very much do enjoy androgynous looks. Here’s a white and black heart 🤍🖤

the reason why not a lot of people support nonbinary people is because it isnt proven by science that nonbinary people exist.

Same 🥺💛

Same, he pushed me down the rabbit hole of looking into different gender identities, which made me realise I'm Agender non-binary

i love that

Not to be that person, but I hate math! >_< I blame my maths teachers... Also, yeah, I feel you on the bathroom issue. I don't know what the hell it is guys are doing in there, all I know is that it cannot be what I've been doing in there whenever during my life I've identified as masc.

OH DEAR STARS. i'm using 3141592653589793 (yep, pi for short! i just love how it looks like a mishmash of digits but people sometimes recognize it) as my online nickname in some places and i appreciate you SO much

Lol I love that I'm not the only one who chooses to use the woman's restroom because it's usually cleaner! The men's room almost always has soap though so sometimes I'll use the woman's restroom then wash my hands in the men's restroom. Non-binary privilege I guess? Also, I love your "where do you want to be" response. I think I'm going to start using that.

I am a teacher and our school recently put in two gender neutral single bathrooms, but any student can use them for any reason so they're usually gross or being used so I'm still stuck using the women's restroom.

That sucks so much! My native languages aren't grammatically gendered, but two that I'm learning are! Not ideal, but maybe saying the noun and doing a thumbs up or something might work?? Or just a translation of "Cool hair" etc., so the gender agrees with the thing you're complimenting only? And something like "That hairstyle is awesome!" shouldn't gender the person in any language I know of

Sometimes I think in terms of "folks", gentlefolks, persons.

I work in a grocery store and I always really appreciate people who approach me and just say "excuse me" or "can you help me find something?" instead of adding "sir/ma'am" There are other ways to get people's attention, and you don't need pronouns at all. Like for you, you could say "excuse me, may I compliment you on your awesome shirt?" or something like that.

Same, I'm still in the acceptance phase but Jammi plays a very important part in this.

Can you say congratulations in this context? I want to show support but I lack proper words and don't want to be mistaken for being sarcastic. Maybe I'm just over thinking. Anyways. ✨Support!✨

Same. I found him quite by accident doing some searches and so many of these videos have helped me get more comfortable with me.

if using he/they pronouns counts as being nonbinary that clears crap up

I can't even imagine what your lived experiences must be. I learned recently about a study in the UK that revealed a huge surprising incidence of people walking around with more than 2 sex chromosomes. And we know that many animals species have more than 2 genders or only one gender. Gender expression is a breathtakingly complex display of genes, physical environment, upbringing and personality.

same

Why did you comment thrice

@@PeacheIIe there is much to be said

It's hard to accept something that changes every 2 months.

@@anassakadik4247 can you elaborate? /gen

@@MBZ901 Many individuals that are present in my life are constantly changing their gender expression and pronouns. Needless to say, it becomes difficult to keep up with.

you're absolutely valid! 💛🫂

I have the same issue. I am also afab and often more feminine presenting. Another enby always used to tell me no matter how you present the only thing that matters is that you feel good about it and no one can tell you how you "should present". So yeah you are valid no matter how you present !! 💛💛💛

@@sweettea1193 Presenting or wearing certain clothes don't make someone NB. If so, would a woman wearing pants or a suit, or just a tomboy suddenly become a man? Or a guy wearing a skirt or dress suddenly become a woman? Gender Identity is not the same as gender presentation, though sometimes the two are correlated.

As a frequently feminine non-binary afab guy, I give you my Power Of The Glitterbeard to help you bend perception of you to a realm you are comfortable with

Same here

That is somehow a very cool name my friend ✨😮👍

How do you pronounce it??

Gotta love friends like that.

Sammja is such a cool name, i'm lowkey jealous

@@CouldntThinkOfaGoodUsername I don't really know how to explain it, but Mar is pronounced like "are" (as in "you are") preceeded by an m. And Sammja is "Sam" like the name, then "ja" the way it would be pronounced in January. Does that make sense?

heck yeah i live to piss off conservative

Ikr it's SO fun

@@Wolli6666 maybe you need to think about it a little more often if you're gonna be a jerk

lmao, I remember a while back people had a fight over what gender i am, (on discord) and I just watched the chaos unfold.

@@artemis754 Hope you had snacks around you 😂

Good luck with finding a name that feels right for you!

I've been puzzling over new name possibilities too (my KZfaq handle being one of the serious contenders). Now I'm wondering what would happen if I let a random word generator come up with my name. 🤔

Ok, just did this and apparently I shall henceforth be called: Plead. Perhaps I should have specified nouns only? Edit: Using all the word types the generator offers, my full name is now: Plead Youth Incredible Yardgrass. Which actually isn't half bad if you do that thing where you repeat words over and over again till they lose meaning and just become random sounds.

@ Sunny Quinn I think that would work. Also we have the same name! But for some reason KZfaq won’t let me change my name to quin so I’m stuck with Skylar.

spoon

👁️👁️you genderfluid?🕳️🏃💨🤸🥳

Agreed, we need more recognition.

may u explain to me what Genderfluid means? I looked it up and didn't really understand 🙇🙏

Im genderfluid! Yes please do a genderfluid video. Idc if it’s with memes or TikToks or something else.

@ ThisIsNotACreativeName Genderfluid means your gender changes. For example yesterday I was a guy and used he/him today I’m nonbinary and would use they/he. One week I started out completely masculine and ended up completely feminine by Saturday. My gender is fluid and changes. It’s not set in stone

This comment made me lol. **chef's kiss**

I envy that so much, myself. I wish I could have that power.

My official pronouns at work are Any/All/None because they all apply at various points.

i appreciate the validation! although i normally am referred to as she/her sadly since my voice is feminine and they assume i'm a "tomboy"

@@bionquinn Ha!

Congratulations! Glad you can feel that freedom

@Stripes there's a difference between doing what you want and being yourself tho, sure they could have generally done whatever they wanted before realising they are enby, but they were not comfortable because they weren't being themselves. (This is just in general terms, op please correct me if I've made wrong assumptions about your experience!) Sure, i could technically identify as a woman and still do whatever because gender doesnt impact what you can and cant do, but what is the point if it makes me actively less happy to identify that way? If i am a million times happier being a funny little dude-but-in-vibes-only-and-not-actually-a-man, why should i choose to make myself more miserable?

@Stripes you literally don't tho, believing that gender roles mean nothing and believing trans people on their identities are not exclusive to each other. The reason i don't identify as a woman isn't because i went "well women are this way and that way and I'm not like that so I'm not a woman", it's just an inherent sense of self. Someone else could totally present and behave pretty much identically to me and still be a woman, or a man, or agender. From my experience alot of people vilify afab trans people in their minds and think that we're trans because "we think we're better than you". We don't think we're better than you, we just aren't you. Blah blah society as it stands does not allow people to simply exist without having to justify their identity and categorise themselves into one of the limited acceptable boxes so ofcourse people are identifying outside of those boxes, blah blah gender is literally made up, blah blah "afab people are often but certainly not always more feminine but what we define as feminine is the traits we decided they should have when they were treated as subhuman so it means nothing anyway because there is no way to tell if afab humans raised in a culture without genderoles would still be more feminine on average or not" As it stands, labels are useful to get some general information about yourself across quickly and potentially in a less invasive way. It would be exhausting and uncomfrotable to explain my relationship with gender and how its all silly anyway and im just a funny little guy but not in a man way just in the way that you would perceive a pigeon doing something weird on your window sill and go "oh look at that guy!" but its generally fine to kinda talk about me like a man and i would rather strangers assume that than woman because that makes me skin crawl and kinda makes me wanna vom, but that doesnt make me a man im still uncomfortable being perceived that way to some extent because when i date women it sure as hell aint straight. Instead of all that, i can just say im enby and my pronouns are he/they and thats that. Labels just help other people get an easier idea of how you wish to be perceived, and you can choose to just....not use labels if you dont want to. Or elaborate as much or as little as you want. Im sorry if any of this comes across as angry because thats not my intention at all (or if its uninteligable, im like half asleep responding to this ngl) , im just sick and tired of people twisting my experience simply existing into a way to put me down. "Oh you think you're fighting gender but really you're the one reinforcing it!" "Oh youve got internalised misogyny to work through you hate women so much you transitioned just because of that!!" We are not trying to hurt anyone by existing. We are not actually hurting anyone by existing. We are doing our best in a system that wasn't made to accommodate us. We literally just want to be respected and left alone.

Damn sorry for starting a whole thing in the replies lol, and congrats on figuring out who you are! Knowing yourself well enough to realise you're non binary is a wonderful thing

All of your friends are nonbinary? Damn. I'm nonbinary and basically friendless, and have only known a few other enbies.

@@disableddragonborn yea lmao a few of us found each other before we came out and the others pretty quickly afterwards (other ppl call our friend group the emo gays apparently)

So you and all of your friends are non-binary. That doesn't sound like a trend at all. /s 🙄

@@DarthSion6987 it's called queers finding other queer to be friends with because we don't want to deal with cishet people's bullshit

Aww, Good for you, having a good circle around you that accepts you for who you are is important and I am glad you were able to find it!

@@Red_Devil_Stew he has just told me when he was 16 and he was scouts scavenger hunt and they had to get a picture of a fish, and I worked on the supermarket fish counter at the time 😂. I would have been 21.

lol being only 14 and rly shy and with anxiety I never correct ppl. but yesterday it felt amazing when my mom used they/them for me when we were at a store. I'm only out since a couple weeks ago and whenever my mom uses my pronouns it feels great

Yissssss. Also a non-androgynous enby, and my friends have been using they/them pronouns more consistently for me recently and its wonderful 🥰

Congrats 💜💜🤗🤗

Welcome to the expanding family, fellow breaker of binaries!!

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

congrats! -your fellow enby

Genderfluid solidarity :>

How do they know if they’re misgendering you if it can change day to day ? (Just curious and want to know)

I'm sorry your coming out didn't go well. Just remember whatever people say, you are you and others don't get to decide your gender for you. You're amazing!

I hope you have, or meet lots of people in your life who do accept you and love you as you are. Stay strong, and know you're not alone

I've heard that parents often need time to get over themselves. Meanwhile, please accept some mama hugs. 💛🤍💜🖤

Imagine thinking labeling yourself as non-binary is even remotely close to coming out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. You're just slapping a label on without any sacrifice or risk and you somehow think you're brave because of it.

I celebrate it every time one of my friends goes on a soul seeking journey to question and explore there gender even when they come to the conclusion that they were cis all along. I remember one time I was at a NB meetup where there was a woman who had been there a few times and they were really embarrassed to admit that they had realized through her exploration that she actually cis and all of my NB friends surrounded her with love and congratulated her for exploring her gender and learning more about herself. I think everyone owes it to themself to earnestly explore their gender.

P.S. Mo I’m proud of you it takes guts to question your gender especially in the world we live in.

Every gender journey is valid and is important, I’m really glad you asked questions and explored things ☺️ I wish more folks would do that. Thanks for being an ally

@Stripes what I mean is I don't fit into gender norms.

@@sweettea1193 I literally said in my original comment I am not non-binary, dude, read with comprehension. There was a point where I thought I was by talking to non-binary people and relating to them a lot, but then I realized I wasn't. It was a simple self-discovery journey and trying to find myself, understand my gender identity. As other replies said, it is still ok to go through that and in the end realize one identifies as cis.

Aww

That's too cute. 🥺💕

I’m the same! Well, I am lucky that I have gender-nonconforming friends around me so it’s different in that aspect, but I often struggle with thinking that my presentation affects my actual identity and perception. I’m pretty feminine but that doesn’t make me any less nb, you know? I’m genuinely sorry that your friends might just see you as a cis woman when you aren’t. But I’m sure that you’re not an attention-seeker either, because you’re overly worried you might be and that’s almost never an indication of an actual attention-seeker. Im not sure where I was going with this but … um? Afab nb feminine solidarity?

@@kaykeunil thank you kind internet stranger. Afab nb feminine solidarity indeed :D

My therapist is a femme-presenting nb person who uses masc pronouns, and few things have been as validating as this connection lol. I was telling him how I feel like a fake saying I'm nb when I'm femme and how "it doesn't bother me that people see me as a woman".... as he heard me completely feel uncomfortable saying that and HEAVY hesitation when I used the word "woman", he was like "The fact that you were uncomfortable saying that shows that you really don't feel that way and are nb" and it was SO validating. I hope you find other nbs that get you

@@secretlybees WOAH! I am so happy for you, that is amazing!! :D Your therapist sounds like a wonderful person

Echo chamber

Yeah ikr it's so validating, I grew up around the same time u did and there were only transgirl/guy labels being represented, as a kid i felt so dysphoric forcing myself to be a transguy so i dont have to be a girl and i felt like my dysphoria w my female body wasn't enough, and today the representation is so much better that its ok to not be a girl or a guy and have dysphoria.

I think your experiencing is interesting because I (an agenderish person) find a LOT of agender people feel exactly the way you described, that seems to be the norm in agender spaces. Ironically enough I often feel alienated from agender spaces because I don't feel this way and am more like the nonbinary people you described prior. It does matter how people percieve me and I would prefer neutral pronouns. But I'm also not entirely like the stereotypical enby, and that can be alienating too. I think it comes down to the fact that being nonbinary is such a broad experience, it's a word that encapsulates so many different identities and I wish more people recognized this instead of treating it like a third gender with strict rules that need to be adhered to in order to gain 'legitimate' membership, in the same way they do with being a man or woman.

@@ThiCC_Yosh It's ironic that some people think gender clinics are forcing kids into transitioning when actually for people like us, they would have been so helpful to work out that we're not FtM/MtF. Just hearing that you can be non-binary and not tell everyone was so useful to me. I see it in a similar way to being autistic. There are people I haven't shared my diagnosis with but it doesn't make me any less autistic.

Hey, can you help me out with something? I've identified as agender too, for a few years now. But lately I've been wondering about it. Every article I've read about the definition of agender has listed, in a list of terms that may be used as synonyms, something along the lines of "null-gender" or "void." But that's not how I feel. I do not feel a lack of gender within myself. Rather, I feel that I wander across both genders. That, if there was a line with woman on one end and man on the other end with a mark in the middle to indicate complete lack of either masculinity or femininity (with increasing distance from the middle representing increasing masculinity or femininity), my gender would best be represented by a bubble around the middle. The bubble is not perfectly centered on the mark; it covers slightly more of the masculine side. And it is a bubble, and I wander around within that bubble, and that way of living is how my gender works. If I could have any power I wanted, I would have the power to switch between being male and female any time I want with almost no effort. My male and female forms would be nearly identical and very hard to tell apart, and I would switch between them very often, probably without always noticing that I had. As an agender person who might have more experience with a community of agender people than I do (I have none), have you found that the word agender includes that kind of experience? In every other way, the words agender or neutrois fit me perfectly. I'm just confused about the listing of null as a synonym.

@@sarahvunkannon7336 I'm not one of those who commented earlier, but as another agender person, I think what you describe better fits the definition of _genderfluid_ than _agender._ You're feeling some degree of association with the concept of _man_ and _woman_ at different times, or at the same time to different degrees. For me, both of those concepts are purely academic; I know what society uses to define them, but I feel no belonging, identification, or recognition with either. In fact, my AFAB-secondary-sex traits cause what I finally recognized as gender dysphoria, because they "gender" my body and always have. As someone who grew up well before most of Jamie's audience, it took me until I was in my 30s to even begin to understand my identity, and I didn't pin it down until after I was 40. I say this to remind you that while it certainly is a relief to understand these things about yourself, there's no deadline to get it right. And you're valid no matter what. 💜

I hope he comes around

Try explaining it like this, maybe. There is someone named Richard. One of the most common nicknames for Richard is Dick. Richard has made it clear he hates being called Dick, but his friends insist on calling him Dick, even after it obviously makes him upset. Are his friends actually being supportive by continuing to call him Dick? Alternatively, if there's a nickname or pet name that someone gave him that he hates, ask him how he'd like it if you only ever referred to him by it because you don't like his name. If it absolutely comes down to it, you could *find* one that he absolutely hates being called, and call him by it. Then when he inevitably gets mad about it, just tell him, "Well, I don't see the difference between me calling you Poopybreath Dildoworth because I don't like your name and you refusing to use the right pronouns for me because you don't like it."

@@alchemysaga3745 that's beautiful

@@alchemysaga3745 ooh I like that. I know a name he hates being called so its perfect

Sounds like we have similar backgrounds, sadly :( I'm so sorry you've gone through all of that, and I also struggle accepting myself as a transman due to lots of abuse and trauma. Actually, I've kinda been wondering if I'm a very masculine nonbinary, but all the trauma and gaslighting and my past as one of those "all men evil" (isolation and only knowing horrible abusive men for ~2 decades. I don't think that way now thankfully) feminists makes it hard to know for sure about some things lol I really hope your spouse is able to come around more to things (or is able to reframe/rename their attraction to you and grow with you on that front to where you're both happy and your authentic selves)

"Only 2 genders scientifically"? Ha! There aren't even "only 2 sets of genitals." 17 or of every 1000 people are intersex - i.e. have "ambiguous genitalia." I'm so saddened to hear that you had to endure so much abuse from your parent. You did not deserve that. I hope for a better and brighter future for you.

😣 I’m really so terribly sorry you’ve gone through all that. I hope you can find a therapist to talk to who can help you make sense of things, and to put your wants and needs first-it sounds like you’ve been literally trained to NOT do that, and that can be so bad for our mental and physical health. We all need to come first sometimes (and not just in the fun x-rated sense). You deserve to be who you are, whoever that is, however you construct that, regardless of your spouse or mom or anyone else. 🌈🦄💜

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Please know that you are VALID and PERFECT and no one has the right to take that away from you! If they don't understand, it's their loss, not yours.

That is tough, I’m sorry. But language is constantly evolving, and maybe new neutral pronouns will emerge that feel more gender-affirming for you ☺️ good luck from a fellow enby pal

I did it last year at 34 (and went for a shortened version of my birth name, it was my nickname for years and I’ve always preferred it) I lived in “mens” clothes since I was a kid. My partner has been nothing but supportive and only bitches about things that were a problem before i came out (I’m terminally messy).

Ayyy! Welcome to the non-binary club 🥰 your membership card and flannel shirt will arrive in the post shortly 💛🤍💜🖤

Same tbh! It took a while for me to recognize that most people prefer if I don’t make a big deal out of accidentally misgendering someone bc while it seems that lots of apologizing shows sincerity, it’s just. Better if someone just quickly apologizes, moves on, and tries not to do it again.

I think it definitely hurts if they don't even notice it and even worse when they keep doing it without taking a second to pause. But I definitely hate when someone apologises for too long and feels like they have to reaffirm that they support me and are sorry. Like, I appreciate the sentiment but it feels almost performative and awkward. Which is to say that I don't mean to sound ungrateful, it's just very difficult to move things on and it halts conversation.

Welp I’m sorry. My dad thought my omnisexual flag was a pro police flag but I couldn’t say anything about it lol. My mom also doesn’t believe I’m not straight because “you don’t know your sexuality until you’ve had s3x” so yeah I feel you

We both need less homophobic parents, my father quotes the bible saying "man shall not lie with man" and my mother says transphobic stuff when she sees trans people on the news. Mine aren't as bad as yours though.

@@gsse6629 Shitty parents are shitty parents though--you don't need to qualify or negate the pain and trauma you've experienced in comparison to anyone else :) (just wanted to throw some support/perspective/etc out there because I SUPER used to qualify and gaslight myself out of how horrible my situations were, and it delayed my leaving those situations a long while. Parents that have qualifiers and conditions on their love for their children never deserved the children they had)

@@its_the_bird my parents aren't shitty I'm just too scared to teach them about lgbt+ because that would be outing myself. I was just like them until i was like "oh shit im asexual" and looked into it.

@@gsse6629 I dont know if you know this but it used to say "man shall not lay with a young boy as they do a woman". They were referencing pedophilia until it was rewritten by a homophobic American in the early 1800s. America then paid to change what the bible said in other countries starting with places such as Germany. I find it both fascinating to learn and really sad.

Thank you :)

Me, a person who was born and raised as a chick, but never quite felt ok with that, now just starting to figure out what I actually am: 🐣 "Peep Peep???"

thank you!!