My friend is an OkCupid Moderator, and not to take away from your plight, but unfortunately your conversation situations aren't rare. I'm sure its even harder for you, but I do fear for all women on there. Those apps are full of guys who are well, let's call them 'socially inept'. I've seen several conversations which are literally "hi" , "What do you do for work" and then straight in with "do you do a**l" unbelievable.

As someone with a disability I get this

Brilliant talk! I can totally relate to everything you have said. Thank you for bringing these subjects to the forefront 😊

I'm sorry if this is a rude question, but in regards to those hookup apps, isn't it better to get that question out in the open quickly? Because if that is what the able-bodied person is seeking, and the answer is no, then exchanging messages for days or weeks, and going on a couple of dates, only to find out that intimacy is not an option-- that seems unfair, and lacking in transparency. Even as an able-bodied person, I prefer to know if the one I'm messaging is really hot to trot when I'm not, or vice versa. It just clears the air and enables us to see very quickly if we are on the same page or not. I find that aspect of online dating very refreshing

I really feel for her on the disrespect she receives due to her disability. However when it comes to dating, All men and women have their own preferences and/or requirements, and we are all entitled to have them. However, none of us are entitled to other people’s attraction. If we do not fit the preferences of another person, we have no right to negotiate them. It is just time to look elsewhere. No matter what anyone says, appearance will always spark initial attraction, and our appearance will dictate how much attention we get in the dating market. For those of us who struggle, it’s on us to improve what we can change, and adopt a healthy but realistic mindset on what we can’t. It is a fruitless endeavor to try to convince the world to accept you as attractive. It is only up to you to love yourself. TL;DR: Do not try to change the world, try to change your mindset.

As a person with multiple sclerosis and cancer I must say she is crazy brave with a solid mental. Iam still struggling to achieve that level of self confidence. Bravo to her 👏 !

Always feel like dating apps are like knives. Depend on how you use it. You can use it to cook meals make you feel happy, but it could also hurt yourself or hurt others..

I am a 31 year old man, and ì have been single my whole life... I have a brain injury since age 4 I got hit by a car, its awfully lonely... and I can walk

As someone with ASD it is definitely difficult even though I am exceptionally “high functioning”. The fear of being a burden is exceptionally difficult and haunting

I want to say that Julie is very brave to put herself out there. I think she's amazing and I know she'll be a trader...This is a good experience listening to her POV. Biases are limiting ...Julie shows what you miss from them....best to you Julie!

I understand it's frustrating when normal people assume less of you because we're being empathic. Nobody wants to hurt someone permanently in a wheelchair and it shouldn't be a surprise if we set the bar very low, because if we didn’t it would hurt disabled people.

Julie, I am living with a mild case of cerebral palsy independently and so many of your struggles are mine. I am able to be physically more independent and get myself out of bed and cook, and clean, so that I don't need a carer very often. But thank you for coming forward and talking about these things. I intend to do the same thing, on a much smaller scale as soon as I can and have time to do it properly. I'm already starting a KZfaq channel, but I'm not quite there yet. Love and blessings to you!

I gave up because I don't want to have to prove myself. So I'm just off the market. It's ok.

I prefer to think of myself as challenged, not disabled, because I like to find the ways I can do things. It may be different than the general population, but it gets the job done.

This chic needs to get herself on the UK dating show called Undateables. Its actually quite heartwarming

Wow Julie, you are brave, lovely person! I pray you will have all your dreams come thru! You deserve all of it, love included. There is a person out there for you! Chin up😚

Thanks for sharing. I have conditions too along with aspergers. Life has been in constant flux. Despite all the challenges, it's very important to me whenver I get off balance is to refocus my attention to striving to be the best version of myself. I'm in that stage of my life that it's very important to have a positive mindset and to surround myself with like minded / supportive people.

Very nice talk! Thanks for sharing your views with us, Julie. I think I've learnt something important tonight :)

This is one of the best Tedx talks ever! I watch these often but this one blew the top off! Thank you very much, Julie!

Thank you Julie for sharing your experience and perspectives with us. I have a physical disability and instead of bravely putting myself out there, I avoid it. But if you can do it so can I. Much love to you. I hope some potential dates reach out to you after watching your presentation. We all do deserve love. ❤

That was a very touching story. What a new perspective

What a brave honesty!

I am a man with a disability . I have ataxia . I was born with brain cancer and the surgery really messed things up . I am having a very hard time finding a girlfriend . I would like to be married one day despite all the horrible things circulating the internet and to a degree it is all true but I am somebody that places a lot of value on marriage . I am not giving up despite years of trying . I have been in the dating market since I was probably 15 . I am 32 now . I have only had like 5 girlfriends but I am starting to learn about relationships . I do not count a failed relationship as a loss but a learning opportunity . When my second girlfriend left me I was devastated but it also encouraged me to do some research to see how I could improve my next relationship . There is a lot of horrible advice out there but there is some good advice and I guess that is how you can tell it is good advice because it is not everywhere . One thing that I do find annoying is when you are talking to somebody and the first question that they ask what my job is .

Eventually we will be able to stop dividing people with labels, identities, and bias. One day we will all be human beings worth respect and dignity. Till that day I'm sorry to say we all suffer each other together. Julie you're an awesome person and I'm glad you were comfortable sharing with us your experiences.

I feel a important thing is we don't even know the person we are seeing has a disability.

Brain fracture at 13, I touched my brain

Although I’m not in a wheelchair, I have cerebral palsy and I can identify with this.

It's about matching up eachothers abilities and desires, wants.

Unique.

Accessibility just about anywhere outside of america is inaccessible. All of Europe middle east Asia Africa south central america is inaccessible.

This is just my opinion. Online dating apps should be avoided. Stop looking for someone, you will always end up finding the wrong person. Bars and Nightclubs are the worst places to “meet” people. Go about with your life and you will meet someone worth your time.

Life is a struggle no matter what side of life your on. I am labeled disabled but not as severe as you. You are very secure in who you are , you will succeed please give yourself time. Your young and I have faith in you!

Джули,я присоединяюсь к вашим словам🤝 К сожалению,в последнее время появились проблемы похуже - инвалидам предлагают эвтаназию,чтобы они обузой не были. Я шокирована деградацией "здоровых" людей

Love you💞💞💞

Disability is not inability, and thus is how we both should have it in mind.

Very inspirational!

Wow, she's really cool and interesting to listen to. Loved this, thanks for sharing!

She's like any ordinary person who does what many ordinary things. But dang i walk normal but i havent done some of what she already did.

a nice girl and a good lover❤

Thank you 🙏🏻

It’s not a bias it’s a preference .

The men find geatest power and to be best activity for regeneration of herself and give faith to others!Blessing&Lov❤️e🌏😍

I would like to learn more.

Oh no, no one told her that "dating app" is a euphemism

Depends what love you want, I will give love to anyone but of course I'm not about to risk the bloodline of my family. Not a risk I'm willing to take.

But Bumble, Tinder are usually apps where men look for hookups.

(What a beautiful lady.) ALthough , I would never want to find anyone on a tech app for dating. To each his or her on. I also have a beautiful adopted mentality challenged daughter, she is a blessing. She has learned so many things and is so smart after being brought up in a drugged addicted, incestuous family. SHE GROWS GARDENS, SHE LOVES NATURE, BECAUSE I TOOK THE TIME TO TEACH HER ABOUT NATURE FOR FREE, ALSO SCHOOLING. SO ARE YOU, MISS. (IT IS THEIR LOSS.) COURAGE AND HAVE FUN.

The intent and objective of dating is to find someone to make a life with, to have a family with, to share a future with. You can be bitter all you want, but the Truth is not usually comfortable. Some disabilities are genetic. Why would anyone want to sign up for the likelihood or even good possibility of having offspring that are genetically damaged?!! It's not cruel to look out for the future needs of you and your children. It's an awful thing to be born disabled!! Many have so much to offer, but anyone considering dating someone has the right to know the potential.

I love this! I think dropping biases and preconceived notions transcends beyond a person’s disability. I think people should do the same when encountering people overall. People meet others and place people in a box based on what they see. It’s unfortunate that this happens! I thank you Julie because this Ted Talk topic is extremely important.

Ive given up on even trying to date. As a guy in a chair whos fairly good looking, well dressed and completely independant i cant even get a number nevermind a date.

It's about averages, by saying that you are not average then the question arises, 'What are you/we capable of ?'

15%....

Honestly people put too much value on romantic love specifically. It really is unfortunate, but also undeniable that the majority of healthy able-bodied people are exclusively searching for other healthy able-bodied people as romantic partners. If you’re physically disabled, and you only seek out that type of love, you’re going to feel very unloved. Once you realize that familial and non-romantic love is just as valuable you’ll feel much more fulfilled in life.

That sense of being burdonsome on others is deadly to the sensitive in care of the insensitive.

We all (me included ) are way too harsh and salvage with each other! We are we going to learn our purpose of being humans?

Good On You. 👏👏👊👏 - the Sessions and Coming Home are Very Solid .. if not Incredible Films . dealing with this approximately similar topic.

I can understand her frustration with the dating world but many people are frustrated with the dating world. Why does she feel entitled to a romantic relationship with someone who isn't disabled? No one is entitled to a romantic relationship. Not many able bodied people are going to get into a relationship with someone who is disabled because they don't have much in common and do not want to have to end up being a caretaker. That's their prerogative. A possible to solution is for disabled people who want to date and marry, find fellow disabled people who want to date and marry.

You are beautiful don't listen to anyone

As i disabled person, everything she says is true about dating. People thinks about us as a huge burden.

It isn't important if you abled or disabled! Everyone is human and deserved have a love partner at least!:)

One of my dearest friends on this earth, Saeed Zaroori has muscular dystrophy. He's 36 and almost lost all of his abilities for movement. I'd give anything, ANYTHING to be his girlfriend or marry him!!! His surname, "Zaroori" LITERALLY means essential in Farsi and he IS the most important person in my life in my 31 years of living in this world!!! His an adventurer.

Disability, for the umpteen BILLIONTH time is NOT all "white sticks and ruddy wheelchairs"! What about stuff like far more severe MISOPHONIA and severe HEAT intolerance? What if you can't even DREAM of going out on any fancy dates because you can't go to any venues because all the appalling NOISE in such insane places? eh? Remember ALL disabled MATTER!

I've found my fiance on dating app, we hope to get maried next year.

Wow look in God

p

Uhh... It's biased to ask a disabled person whether or not they're able to do a particular thing? Jesus

She beautiful

"bias dating" If I want chicken nugget that has an opinion I'll ask Monsanto to work with McDonalds. At least I get sauce with that.

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Hello all honorable people 🙏😊 The way we are born and have a life is something that money can't buy. The encouragement in life is the same. Have a lot of encouragement in yourself. and good day will come to see us as we walk Go for that dream too. I'm rooting for everyone.🙏👁️

I bet she rejects every man below the average of 8/10 LOL

Woman with disabilities have 100000% more chance to find a match than man with disabilities. Who is cruel? Man or woman ?😂

She is being super judgy just first few seconds in 😂😂 .....

Lol she is just coping.

She got a lot of interesting thoughts to consider. But this new culture of underrepresenting, of accepting by default is childish. Many people are offended in dating apps not depending on their abilities or disabilities. This girl probably looking an able partner but could not admit it too. You are going through a tough life, but noone owe you, so you have to take whaf you want or need

Why did no one laugh at her jokes? Lol dry crowd smh.

- Per the VICE video "Disabled Americans Are Punished for Getting Married", finding a partner isn't even the biggest problem. - Even able-bodied people are having more and more trouble finding a partner these days; you'd think the Internet would be making it easier instead of harder. 🤦

sry but I don't like when people paraphrase, how do I know you can paraphrase what actually happened, I don't believe people cuz many don't have the ability to see things clearly

Veggie Tales irl 💀

Since men care only about looks and how a good looking woman make them look in public - disabled people are destined to be single, even when women get cancer which is not even a disability - men leave.

nah, no app wanted. dont date.

If she can’t put out I’m not interested She should find somebody that is asexual and/or is a furry.

3 min, and im out

The greater the testing , the greater the blessing !!! $32,000 weekly profit Our lord Jesus have lifted up my Life!!!