T**** Confuses Hannity With Wild Mar-a-Lago Excuses

T**** Confuses Hannity With Wild Mar-a-Lago Excuses | Breaking Squirrel News

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Күн бұрын

An appeals court obliterated the former president's defense in his classified documents case, and even Sean Hannity was confused when T**** rattled off conspiracy theories in an attempt to change the subject. Also, if you're working from home right now, it's a good idea to check your house for squirrels. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Пікірлер: 8 300

@Leonaza7 Жыл бұрын

If you're not embarrassed by the fact that this man was once the President of the United States, you haven't been listening

@victorarredondo304 Жыл бұрын

Sleepy Joe is the epitemy of embarrasment in this country for his disatrous inflation & ruiining of country.

@95jpeat Жыл бұрын

Nice try deep state. We know this is an npc

@nugboy420 Жыл бұрын

@Leonaza7 deff have to have your back on this one.

@couragekarnga8735 Жыл бұрын

I'm more than embarrassed; I'm speechless!

@lindakautzman7388 Жыл бұрын

I'm horrified and grieve at the damage he has wrought.

@Aluhcav Жыл бұрын

"I declassified everything" Well we know that's a lie, he never declassified his taxes.

@goahead3995 Жыл бұрын

But but but it's in permanent audit!🤣

@ideagirl Жыл бұрын

Truth!

@lookissjaxin Жыл бұрын

Or his school 🏫 grades 🤓; stable genius 😂

@alaric_ Жыл бұрын

Also the numerous lawsuits and paid off porn-stars might beg to differ...

@rosehill9537 Жыл бұрын

He declassified everything......OK so let's the ppl read the taxes records the school grades the evidence from the russia probe and all the NDA's

@bolabintu8709 Жыл бұрын

Not just embarrassed, but super ashamed that he was once the president.

@kateskeys Жыл бұрын

Watching this is sooooo much more effective than cognitive therapy. SOOOOO MUCH BETTER.

@CarlosMensuckass Жыл бұрын

The person that came up with The Count of Mostly Crisco deserves every good thing in the world.

@abigails4088 Жыл бұрын

100% agree.... left me dead, quite literally... was laughing and the distraction got me killed in my game XD

@zazaranger5 Жыл бұрын

Who ever did write that deserves a big raise

@pamevans8001 Жыл бұрын

that was greatness - damn near spewed my tea!!

@johnsmithe4656 Жыл бұрын

You shouldn't talk that way about Dear Leader, don't you know he's the Second Coming of Shitstain Crust? Next time you see a nasty one all dried out in your drawers because you only shower twice a month, SHOW SOME DAMN RESPECT!

@mk1st Жыл бұрын

The best😂

@LooseNut099 Жыл бұрын

Whoever came up with the “Count of Mostly Crisco is a genius.”

@danmcgriff1421 Жыл бұрын

Thank you my son came up with that you six

@vickywitton1008 Жыл бұрын

What does it mean?

@marthareis5873 Жыл бұрын

@@vickywitton1008 It's a lard play on the famous story, "The Count of Monte Cristo."

@anderjpoo Жыл бұрын

@@marthareis5873 see what you did there ,........ clever!

@ZenFrequency111 Жыл бұрын

Man I hollered

@terrancekayton007 Жыл бұрын

When Life Gets You Down, Put on an old Stephen Colbert clip, to make you Smile. Great Writing, Great Graphics, Great Delivery, Great Team

@cesarregalado3420 Жыл бұрын

A real, real Airhead and REAL Embarrassment to the most powerful Nation on Earth. How did this happen? When I saw him for the first time and after I Heard him, my first thought was...Is this a JOKE? Is this for real? I will totally celebrate ALL the way when he's indicted and thrown in jail!!!!

@mammawlee 4 ай бұрын

I feel like l am in an alternate universe😔

@phantomchef2217 Жыл бұрын

The count of mostly crisco made me heave I was laughing so fucking hard. I wasn't ready! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@couragekarnga8735 Жыл бұрын

These names are getting more creative!

@e.abrahamovich8981 Жыл бұрын

Treason Cerebro and Orange mission impossible killed it.

@impunitythebagpuss Жыл бұрын

Too funny!

@janmay7961 Жыл бұрын

Me too, out of all names for the TFG, this is way up there most hilariously creative 😂

@shantoreywilkins651 Жыл бұрын

🎃😂🤣🌝

@chuckz253 Жыл бұрын

The funny thing in all this, is that someone at Fox thought it was a good idea to air that. 🤣

@couragekarnga8735 Жыл бұрын

All for the base!

@csmith563 Жыл бұрын

@@couragekarnga8735 IKR🤣

@superluminalprobabilityclo6884 Жыл бұрын

The base of red hats will parrot it forever

@MDRUSHCRUSH Жыл бұрын

I fear the base will still see him as innocent. Their stupidity is frightening

@pawala7 Жыл бұрын

They know their audience will take whatever bullcrap he spits out as law and gospel.

@rebelbelle62 7 ай бұрын

Mr Colbert, you made the last years of Donald Trump and covid bearable. Without your humor and ability to make us laugh we couldn't have made or continue to make it through. So,Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

@rubyhoward2085 Жыл бұрын

Someone please rescue that poor squirrel 🤣🤣🤣

@scottmwilhelms2437 Жыл бұрын

So I guess the only secret documents left are his tax returns. 🙄

@kimweaver1252 Жыл бұрын

Nope, the prosecution got those a year or so ago. I'm guessing they played into the charges and may result in indictments on federal charges.

@TheLemon333 Жыл бұрын

I think that they are just not allowed to be public yet.

@dingobat2389 Жыл бұрын

Good one!

@couragekarnga8735 Жыл бұрын

Biden should declassify them with his mind!

@thisbushnell2012 Жыл бұрын

Mazars delivered them up after extracting themselves from the orange turd's employ.

@ChainReactionsProductions Жыл бұрын

Sometimes when I think he can’t be that stupid or brazenly criminal, he gets stupider and more brazen with his crimes

@couragekarnga8735 Жыл бұрын

I almost feel sorry for his lawyers.

@SRowntree Жыл бұрын

@@couragekarnga8735 The smart ones bailed already. That's why his current ones were picked up from off the freeway.

@lindaleelaw5277 Жыл бұрын

@@SRowntree from the off ramp at Compton ?

@atiredfloridian777 Жыл бұрын

IKR? You think he can't top himself and then he DOES.

@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын

I think his loyal cult followers are even stupider and more brazen with their crimes. They took one look at this Orange Dumpster Fire of a garbage human being who constantly swindled them out of their money and actively tried to destroy his own country and STILL go, "Yep! That's my man for 2024!"

@cpmrealty 8 ай бұрын

Stephen always knows how to deliver news.

@pitchlockinc Жыл бұрын

A flawless performance! Johnny Carson would concede the throne! Thank you to Colbert and his writers for this MASTERPIECE

@kidd_gallahad2512 Жыл бұрын

I know your type. The kind who if you hand them shot they think its perfume. Colbert is a wannabee, a disgusting left wing propagandist. Carson would piss on him.

@JohnWarner-lu8rq Жыл бұрын

What are you smoking?

@kidd_gallahad2512 Жыл бұрын

Colbert is a snot. You are a bot.

@bwenluck9812 9 ай бұрын

@@JohnWarner-lu8rq It's stood the test of time, John.... 😉

@JohnWarner-lu8rq 9 ай бұрын

@@bwenluck9812 Yeah.... BS has been around for quite some time.

@joshthompiano Жыл бұрын

"There is nothing either classified nor declassified but thinking makes it so." ~Donald Shakespeare

@id10t98 Жыл бұрын

Be classified or not be classified, that is the question!

@commentz-1 Жыл бұрын

🤣😂🤣😂

@justsaying14 Жыл бұрын

A document, declassified would read as sweet.

@pennydavis9494 Жыл бұрын

Love the nickname

@toraneko_maru Жыл бұрын

Stephen's monologue was on fire! He roasted every single one of those excuses to perfection.

@7027flowers Жыл бұрын

💯🤣

@ludwinghurtado5032 Жыл бұрын

Yes he did! This is viral content! Well all his material is viral really but this deserves virality!

@smac9273 Жыл бұрын

It’s too bad his best monologues are the ones making fun of Trump.

@smac9273 Жыл бұрын

@@Nate-.- what? Just saying it would be nice if Trump just went away and we rarely heard about him again in the monologues.

@Surge1077 Жыл бұрын

The comparison of Judge Cannon to the girl from the Ring movies KILLED ME!

@pamelaibarra790 Жыл бұрын

"Filet-o-fish smothered in ketchup" 😂😂😂😂

@lisab9541 7 ай бұрын

This is one of the best monologues ever! ❤️👍🏻

@o.b.7217 Жыл бұрын

*"When you're the president, they let you do it. You can do anything. Declassify documents by thought. You can do anything."*

@c.l.freeman7654 Жыл бұрын

Sounds just like where we started years ago. "When you are a star? You can do anything. You can grab them by the pu**y and they just let you do it"

@KatKrueger Жыл бұрын

Yeah, including grabbing women by the…

@donaldbabbitt1214 Жыл бұрын

Well played!

@latinaintexas2872 Жыл бұрын

You know I can Wiggle my NOSE and become 50 Years Younger!!! I'm Sure he can't do that!🤣😂💃

@kingjamos2422 Жыл бұрын

@@latinaintexas2872 Noice. When I scratch my ass, I get super strength. Super strength is awesome and all, but it doesn't mean much once you turn 70. I'm a long time away from that, however I also increase in age when I blink!

@Betweentwogames Жыл бұрын

A man who makes anyone who works with him sign an NDA, probably has a vague idea of how illegal this is.

@theactualbajmahal833 Жыл бұрын

Nah, that's just about his actual finger lengths.

@robertcampomizzi7988 Жыл бұрын

There are legitimate uses for NDA. His were less than admirable. I will NOT dispute that part.

@seanbrockest3888 Жыл бұрын

Always remember that an NDA is immediately invalid when any crime is involved.

@lancecarona2554 Жыл бұрын

Trump is guilty AF !

@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын

To be fair, NDAs are also used for things like movie or government contracts. But if the NDA is in a legal contract, yeah that's pretty shady.

@cindyharris3156 Жыл бұрын

I am so thankful for people like Stephen Colbert.

@LavonYoung1 Жыл бұрын

It's about time real legal minds got it right.

@dano8902 Жыл бұрын

Just...incredible. Every time you think he can't sink any lower he breaks out the jackhammer and screams "I NEED A NEW SUB-BASEMENT!"

@kimweaver1252 Жыл бұрын

Hands the jackhammer to a contractor, whom he never pays.

@couragekarnga8735 Жыл бұрын

And then refuses to pay the contractors!

@danmcgriff1421 Жыл бұрын

Joe's old you know they can't leave him alone you shouldn't make fun of old people someday we'll all be there hopefully

@johnhipp8267 Жыл бұрын

@@danmcgriff1421 What are you even rambling about?

@derekstein6193 Жыл бұрын

@@johnhipp8267 I think he is trying to treat the OP as if he/she was referring to Biden instead of Agent Orange. Just another deflection and a failed attempt at a "gotcha" quip. A troll or self-deluded fool, either way Dan Mcgriff is best ignored.

@lw3269 Жыл бұрын

"I think they took my will....." Anyone else hoping he was going to finish that sentence with "to live"?

@couragekarnga8735 Жыл бұрын

Oh, great minds think alike!

@HairynosedWombat163 Жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@inlandempress4587 Жыл бұрын

completely.

@jenniferstone2975 Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂 Yes!! 😂😂😂

@NcNephite Жыл бұрын

😂

@TGEnglishandcomputer Жыл бұрын

This is the best one Steve 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@garyjoaquin Жыл бұрын

What a brilliant monolog. Congratulations to everyone who contributed to it.

@santiagohaas7439 Жыл бұрын

- 'Congrats' to the Don !!!!!!!!!

@viralmemes9213 Жыл бұрын

yeah i wonder if he will say the same for Biden considering he has classified documents in his garage and was never a president.

@communitygardener17 8 ай бұрын

@@santiagohaas7439D John.

@michelleb7399 Жыл бұрын

I love how they are still sharing creative names generated by Twitter users. All these names later and they still get a lot of laughs.

@jeffbaer5851 Жыл бұрын

When the nightmare is over, there needs to be a GIGANTIC mural with every name used, in order. The tourism would make whatever town it's in into a new Vegas.

@conwaymj88 Жыл бұрын

I like using them too. anything to keep that dirty fkers' name out of my mouth

@mlr4524 Жыл бұрын

I think you can still suggest names on Twitter using the hashtag #HeWhoShallBeNamed and #Colbert etc. I've already forgotten what mine were as it was so long ago lol.

@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын

I wanted to submit "Eric's Dad" but someone beat me to it. Ah well.

@kathyastrom1315 Жыл бұрын

The Count of Mostly Crisco is really one of the best ones yet!

@dozzer009 Жыл бұрын

So now he thinks the FBI was looking for Hillary’s emails…at Mara Lago??? Seriously?

@fzghbkhvgfhhgv3524 Жыл бұрын

Then trump Stole Hilary’s email or maybe he was the one stealing Hilary’s email 😂😂

@kenotube3160 Жыл бұрын

Yes, her emails were under the welcome mat.

@arcturionblade1077 Жыл бұрын

It's all projection, distraction and deflection at this point. A whole gish gallup streaming firehose of nonstop nonsense to confuse and whip up his braindead base with a kabuki theater performance of feigned perpetual victimhood. Donnie Deutschbag is desperate and has nothing left but lies to dish out.

@cc1k435 Жыл бұрын

He seemed to be trying to sort out a new whopper to tell on the spot. 😆

@gloomyblackfur399 Жыл бұрын

He said it for a simple reason--it's always worked for him in the past. Not just in the 2016 election, but remember the "Surrender Summit" with Putin? He doesn't understand why it worked for him then, he just knows it did. So why not try it now?

@russkish8628 Жыл бұрын

It's really a shame what he's done to the position

@likethecheeze321 Жыл бұрын

"Much Clothing! Many shirt. VERY PANT. Much Sock." XD Doge is Proud of Colbert, Memeing like a boss.

@CJA32able Жыл бұрын

Your phrases about the “much clothing “ had me crying😂

@customer5032 Жыл бұрын

"such socks." 🤣

@AngelaKSellsHomes Жыл бұрын

They act like biden is incoherent. 🤣 Of course he does have that...a big brain. 🧠

@kingalfred2014 Жыл бұрын

@@customer5032 Wow

@martiansoon9092 Жыл бұрын

It is good to see that some judges wants to keep their law licenses...

@jeremybenoit759 Жыл бұрын

Ya and so they do what the democrats tell them

@skiks1853 Жыл бұрын

@@jeremybenoit759 Trump could try not lying and committing crimes. He'd be better off.

@GMCDude87 Жыл бұрын

@@jeremybenoit759 you hate the law dont ya

@ThePoppinger Жыл бұрын

@@jeremybenoit759 Yeah they should do what the criminal wants them to do!

@SHARKAST1C Жыл бұрын

@@jeremybenoit759 supporting treason isn't a good look, but go off.

@liviusss Жыл бұрын

Stepdad who ran over the hamster... 🤣 Thanks for the laughs, Stephen, you really had a field day (and we did as well)!

@TheMarkyMarx Жыл бұрын

Thank you Stephen. Comic gold. Could we have possibly had a dumber president. I mean really? I doubt it.

@starsalign9336 Жыл бұрын

And more criminal president? I doubt that, too.

@jeremycurtis2334 11 ай бұрын

I don’t know. If anything TFG has taught me is my imagination does not go far enough. Just when I think it’s reached the edge he proves me wrong. I’ve read (a few times) and studied the Inferno and Paradise Lost at a collegiate level. Didn’t really fathom how far down that really went. But that means we could have dumber and more criminal possibilities. He might be the worst now, but what I thought was the worst before him, he proved me wrong. Until now, none more dumb or criminal. However, can it go worse? Didn’t think so before, but now maybe possibly….

@johntoddtompkins3898 9 ай бұрын

Let's all pray it doesn't get worse that Trump. @@jeremycurtis2334

@AJ42K Жыл бұрын

That Trump photo with that outfit made me hit the floor dead with laughter.

@kenotube3160 Жыл бұрын

Don’t worry. That cable is rated to hold 50 tons.

@karenconroy1860 Жыл бұрын

Need to bleach my eyes

@Echo81Rumple83 Жыл бұрын

Someone's using their photomanip skills into good use 😆

@indigowolf556 Жыл бұрын

Baby got back indeed 😂

@rainbowprism6242 Жыл бұрын

The guy should have looked like a blimp. They photoshopped him too generously

@w.s.soapcompany94 Жыл бұрын

It's like watching a five year old make up the rules to a game as he is playing it.

@user-kb9cu4rl9z Жыл бұрын

tRump's been doing that his whole life. Doh. 🤪

@Michelles222 Жыл бұрын

That's how he thinks every minute. He just pops off what his pea brain is "thinking" at that moment. The drugs aren't helping.

@kassiapencek6185 Жыл бұрын

Exactly

@bobrisse9823 Жыл бұрын

Calvinball!

@sophierobinson2738 Жыл бұрын

@@bobrisse9823 You beat me to it! 😂

@elchappy2809 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Steven and Staff for the laughs early in the morning! Love ya!

@mbf6160 Жыл бұрын

The fact he had that bat waiting as if he had a run in with the squirrel before made it even funnier 🐿️ 😂

@akaiclone02 Жыл бұрын

That one made me bust out laughing. "The Count of mostly Crisco" best nickname yet

@ttacking_you Жыл бұрын

I kinda liked _the flabrador deceiver_

@akaiclone02 Жыл бұрын

@@ttacking_you tangerine dream was good to

@ttacking_you Жыл бұрын

@@akaiclone02 then, of course, there's the P.O.S.otus (Kimmel)

@HairynosedWombat163 Жыл бұрын

This judge Cannon now has huge egg on her face. How would anyone have any confidence in any of her rulings or judgements from today? She can thank the chump for destroying her short lived reputation and career though.

@pickledragonrebel Жыл бұрын

She did this to herself she knew exactly what she was doing.

@ProjectFlashlight612 Жыл бұрын

Het judgments are like the Star Wars novels - not Cannon.

@andyruse4670 Жыл бұрын

She’s in a for life position. Until and unless she’s impeached, there’s zero reason for her to feel regret for acting like his puppet.

@kenhoward3512 Жыл бұрын

@@pickledragonrebel Trump appointed her to be a judge from a list provided by the far-right-wing Federalist Society. Yes, she knew what she was doing - and will likely continue doing it.

@co7314 Жыл бұрын

She should be disbarred

@airheadrica1 Жыл бұрын

By far the Best, and Super Funny monologue Ever. ❤

@mlucia534 Жыл бұрын

I love you!!!! :) You deserve an award for this episode. OMG! Someone arrest him already!

@ERAforALL Жыл бұрын

“The banks should have known I was a liar.” So should every American who voted for him.

@dshepherd107 Жыл бұрын

It doesnt help when you lecture people. Leave it be. Some people grew up different, were desperate for change, & were conned. You’re just adding to the anger & divisiveness. The problems lay at the top, not the bottom where we are. FYI: No I didn’t vote for Trump. I was a Democrat my whole life, until they sold us out by supporting the wishes of the billionaires over us. We NEED to recognize we’re all Americans… human beings, & look for common ground.

@maryfields1382 Жыл бұрын

Oh, they know. They just won't admit they got fooled. Don the Con has made his living fooling people. So, you got fooled. That should piss you off enough to realize you need to pay more attention going forward. But instead, they double down. I'll never understand.

@raysun6617 Жыл бұрын

They knew and still voted him in.

@steelers6titles Жыл бұрын

Stop me before I borrow again.

@dshepherd107 Жыл бұрын

@@raysun6617 They didn’t all know. Get around the country much? Have you asked them all? I’ve gotten around the country quite a bit. Sure, there’s a portion of his followers who are racists bigots. They’re not all though. I’ve grown up around overt racism. My point is, how do your words contribute to lessening the divide?

@miket4560 Жыл бұрын

I love the fact you won't even write the weird orange guys name. ❤

@talk3194 Жыл бұрын

Orange Jesus, is his name, and the GOP are to blame, because they all went insane, committing crime for power and fame.

@thisbushnell2012 Жыл бұрын

its a family alias. the Drumpfs have been grifting since before arriving on these shores.

@danmcgriff1421 Жыл бұрын

That's how far up into your head he is you can't even talk normally you can't even bring yourself to mention his name I'm assuming you're a grown man Mike act like it

@alrightyru Жыл бұрын

@@danmcgriff1421 why? It's much more fun this way!

@freema9246 Жыл бұрын

I'm OK if he is here and forever more named crisco🥴

@iamjro Жыл бұрын

Omg the squirrel 🐿 😂😂😂 This was a great monologue!

@SchlumiBenLuschi Жыл бұрын

This is absolute gold. I keep coming back for more laughs. Thanks be to Quob for giving us the Dontard.

@heatherface1 Жыл бұрын

"The former president then used his "mind" to make dumb words come out of his stupid mouth." 😆🤣😂

@rockshowness9446 Жыл бұрын

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... 🤓👋 🤣

@davidwright8432 Жыл бұрын

Stephen was being polite, as ever. It wasn't has mouth.

@caseyrayharris.esquire489 Жыл бұрын

Yeah he did classify everything except the JFK documents that were due to be Declassified of. With no logical explanation either

@matthewconrad2908 Жыл бұрын

He also use this "mind" to declassify by "just thinking" ...His mother must have tried to repeatedly restrain his so called "mind" for the good and betterment of mankind and it's own officialdom having been obscured by this foggy fellow and his beloved "mind over matter" jousts with curious onlookers who find him fascinating to bear such a resemblance to apes who have regained their rhythm as workers he molests with his remarkable large orange cranium and puts them"on the spot" for having dealt it out like one of his $5.00 prime rib dinners to further than evaluate the war between various humans who are far more worried that apes are more intelligent than they might appear ...

@ukiitm Жыл бұрын

@@davidwright8432 What? Guess you got something caught in your mouth.

@theoneandonlygrod Жыл бұрын

"Okay, Mr. President. So you're saying you saw the documents, magically de-classified them ... and THEN you stole them?"

@I_Get_Computers_Puting Жыл бұрын

You don't have to be partisan to cringe at how he acts. He's like 77 years old, my 17 year old daughter acts more mature than this dude. And to think, that there's actually people that defend him, still.

@slyeung6562 Жыл бұрын

Amazing show ! Thank you Mr.Stephen Colbert

@lynnegackstetter2779 Жыл бұрын

Count of Mostly Crisco. Who ever came up with that one deserves a raise. You are in your monologue and I am still giggling about this one. Time to rewind

@o.b.7217 Жыл бұрын

It's from Twitter. Not from the staff.

@lcritter Жыл бұрын

Earlier tonight I heard Michael cohen call it Mara-lardo. So mostly Crisco had me roaring .

@sjs9698 Жыл бұрын

@@o.b.7217 well find out who their employer is & call them. they deserve a raise ^^

@Sig2423 Жыл бұрын

I have a new favourite 🤣🤣🤣

@ideagirl Жыл бұрын

Give him a double raise!

@laskey2175 Жыл бұрын

If Trump declassified "everything" then he declassified Hillary's emails. 🤣

@musicinggp Жыл бұрын

I wish he would DECLASSIFY HIS PATHETIC EXISTENCE.

@ritabosico3328 Жыл бұрын

Bazinga!

@latinaintexas2872 Жыл бұрын

Oh I like that one!🤣😂

@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын

Ba-dum tish!

@billharris7235 Жыл бұрын

Except it was proven she didn't have any classified info.

@Lena-vl4iv Жыл бұрын

This was brilliant. I laughed my ass off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@edmonddantes5750 Жыл бұрын

I almost peed from laughing at the screaming squirrel guy.

@serendipitouslytranscenden8843 Жыл бұрын

Donny thinks president means magician. If that were so I'm sure Biden would have made him completely disappear right away.

@jeanneratterman Жыл бұрын

Yeppers!

@theHaru20 Жыл бұрын

I honestly think he thinks he is some kind of god.. or at least that the presidency equals god like status 🙄

@serendipitouslytranscenden8843 Жыл бұрын

@@theHaru20 I couldn't agree with you more. Crazy orange boy has a god complex fer sure. It's a narcissist thing.

@marshwetland3808 Жыл бұрын

He seems to think it's like being the prez of his company - little hitler bully-dad boss asshole.

@alrightyru Жыл бұрын

I'd rather do the old cut him in two and then wheel away the top half and drop it off the pier ..

@shermanculbertson6244 Жыл бұрын

Stephen and this crew always knock the monologue out of the park.

@aryamehr2182 Жыл бұрын

Jon Stewart is still the GOAT

@pierreclifton1865 Жыл бұрын

bot

@AngelaKSellsHomes Жыл бұрын

Yes they do...thankfully! I have to get my politics from comedy or I would probably cry. lol

@julieroberts9255 Жыл бұрын

TONIGHT WAS THE BEST OF ALL TIME!!

@doodooheadpleighboy4255 Жыл бұрын

Someone knocked his ear out of the park. 😂😂😂

@llfsmith1 Жыл бұрын

I watched this a few times, laughed hard on each watch.... Stephen is beyond hilarious 😂

@CelesteRAdams Жыл бұрын

I have watched this over 10 times & it seems new each time & I scream laughing each time!

@ssfheather6629 Жыл бұрын

Omfg the count of mostly crisco…A++++++ that was chefs kiss perfect!

@janpowell1549 Жыл бұрын

"The Count of Mostly Crisco", I believe that's one of my favorites so far. Stephen Colbert has helped me through these extremely trying times. His wit, charm, compassion and empathy are only a handful of what makes him such a decent and moral man. Not to mention I can't stop laughing every time I watch him. Big love for him.🤣😘❤

@janetbooth9268 Жыл бұрын

Stephen, you and your team keep getting better and better. Thank you for the laughs. I also caught that Rodney Dangerfield shoulder shrug, it made me think how he would throw all this bs into his acts. Keep them coming?

@ansfridaeyowulfsdottir8095 Жыл бұрын

He confused Hannity, when Hannity already comes pre-confused! 🤣🤣🤣 {:o:O:}

@care2think611 Жыл бұрын

"Declassified them.....with his Mind !!!" That one really got me. Sometimes the writing and Colbert's delivery gets me almost hollering on the floor. Thank You! These gems and everthing y'all do keep me closer to sanity. Don't stop!

@adriennegormley9358 Жыл бұрын

I'm still on board with the people who insist that Biden can reclassify them the same way.

@KGershkoff Жыл бұрын

There's a Professor Charles Xavier joke in there somewhere.

@tma2001 Жыл бұрын

for such a classy guy he sure does de-classify everything he touches!

@WhiteFangofWar Жыл бұрын

@@tma2001 Yes everything that comes into contact with him inevitably loses its' class.

@fortunateson7852 Жыл бұрын

Yeah when he says that, what does Hannity think? I mean seriously, he HAS to think that’s crazy. I mean how do you hear those things and not doubt his sanity? I know he criticises Biden but my God what a mess. To be fair this is exactly why we need some younger men in these positions. I mean even men in their fifties are thirty years younger.

@solidnem Жыл бұрын

This was probably the best monologue for the show in many months. I'm still laughing my ass off at the sound effects for the Jedi mind tricks.

@tessH Жыл бұрын

That was a huge lol the high pitched tone cracked me up too !

@franciscocruzjr5721 Жыл бұрын

Nemes1; I laughing. Worst yet, the Mission Impossible 1 parity has been ingrained in my head. I will be the go-to image when I'm feeling down. Couldn't resist taking a screen shot.

@MavicAir1 Жыл бұрын

Watched a Meidas Touch vid where they did it in slow motion and it's so hilarious.

@elizabethmoini2902 Жыл бұрын

"Stephen.... Much Love from the UK!!.....I LOVE your sense of humour!!. I thought our politics here in Britain was nuts!!!. Thanks for making me Laugh so much, i nearly wet myself!!!".

@suzivigeant2213 Жыл бұрын

Being able to replicate that man's screaming was icing on a cake.

@kidd_gallahad2512 Жыл бұрын

WTF?

@geekishgir Жыл бұрын

The Count of mostly Crisco had me laughing far more than it should have. Probably one of the best you've picked!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@commonsense571 Жыл бұрын

OKR?!! 😂😂

@FutureCommentary1 Жыл бұрын

5:48 He must have confused the presidency with an absolute monarchy. And even then people can't act on the monarch's thoughts.

@nadiarepich5199 Жыл бұрын

Way too funny! Brilliance at its best. I can do everything (declassify) with just my mind: My Unfavorite Martian👽This is one of the best monologues I have ever seen. Talent way beyond AGT. Stephen is on a roll here. No one can outdo this most brilliant performance. 🎊🏆

@CollinsCorp Жыл бұрын

THANK YOU for alternate names! I never want to hear T’s name again and Count of mostly Crisco is SO on the nose; I didn’t think anything could beat Velveeta Voldemort but this comes super close, might be a tie

@mfort9997 Жыл бұрын

It didn't occur to me that I could laugh out loud (very loudly) about all the absurd ridiculousness going on with the count of mostly crisco! 🤣😂😅🤣😂😅 Thank you sooo very much!! You and your team are amazing!!!

@TheLemon333 Жыл бұрын

They were sent in by the public a while back on Twitter.

@johnhipp8267 Жыл бұрын

The count of mostly crisco, there's a new one. I like it.

@robingrogan7937 Жыл бұрын

Absolute classic! I have waited till 05:15 here in the UK to hear you rip hell out of the king of morons!! How can someone like trumpet snr be leader of a political party? Thanks Stephen for my morning dose of hysterics!!

@chicop8514 Жыл бұрын

That’s a good thing now we really know who the dumbAss ppl are lol

@catmomjewett Жыл бұрын

The boy is a national treasure!

@pm6693 Жыл бұрын

Yep, me, too. Stephen and Seth Meyers set me up for the day...😊..!

@joannbeiser4907 Жыл бұрын

Yet there are people that believe he was the winner of the election and will fight again if he runs and loses! Scary, very scary!

@amyelizabeth529 Жыл бұрын

Good Morning, UK 🇬🇧 😊!

@weirdunclebob Жыл бұрын

"Martha My Dear" at the end was awesome. Cheers TLSB 😁👍

@janetmccarty7559 2 ай бұрын

Laughter is the best medicine. It's so sad the American people are going through this craziness with Trump. Keep the laughs coming❤

@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын

Bonus points: every single one of Mar-a-Lardo's inner circle, including his son, his in-laws, and his other son he forgot existed, all rose up to defend him on the usual spots. They all must be kicking themselves when they saw him go on Fox to practically admit that he's a liar.

@jefschobert9765 Жыл бұрын

MINDFREAK!! He thought he’d still be president after the election while he was president so he still is president because he thinks he is.

@kittimcconnell2633 Жыл бұрын

They've never seemed to regret all the other times he's blustered out an admission of guilt

@CRB547 Жыл бұрын

All the in-laws are watching their future alimony go up in flames. How depressing it must be to find out the lying pigs you've been sleeping with for their money are about to be bankrupt. Yes ladies, you sold yourselves for nothing. They're all going to end up destitute, unemployed and unemployable. 🤣 🤣

@Chompchompyerded Жыл бұрын

This seems like one of those times where the inlaws are also outlaws.

@kathytourtillott9361 Жыл бұрын

One can only hope they are . . And that will lead to rethinking all their life choices

@SRowntree Жыл бұрын

Thank you for everything, Stephen. And to the unspoken heroes of your crew too!

@victorarredondo304 Жыл бұрын

the crew that insisted in the capitol on jan 6???

@SRowntree Жыл бұрын

@@victorarredondo304 Trumpanzees are camping out on Late Show videos waiting to screech

@couragekarnga8735 Жыл бұрын

I anticipated this, and was not disappointed! Love ya, SC!

@joshuawilson5434 Жыл бұрын

@@victorarredondo304 dude, spell check.

@tomnalley3644 Жыл бұрын

Colbert is a commiecrat just like the rest of the Hollywood trash.

@richardk6196 Жыл бұрын

A couple of days late to the party, but damn did he kill this monologue.

@sergiussouth4754 8 ай бұрын

Awesome monologue. I'm so glad Stephen is back. (The writers must have been writing jokes on their off time.) It was great. My dad had an outdoor squirrel that he shared his peanuts with. It would run up his arm to get the nut. It was cute. My Godfather had a squirrel for many years. Simon was a great pet, until he got very old, and became violent. Squirrels are fast. They can run up one side of you, bitting the whole way, and run down your other side, bitting everywhere, before you have time to react. If this guy has squirrels that have become habitual "guests", he is acting appropriately. Squirrels can become vicious, and we don't move fast enough to be able to protect ourselves from them. Poor guy. It's embarrassing, but I've done the very same thing, complete with baseball bat, jumping on a desk, and screaming...all of it. I get it. Been there. Done that. It's real, folks. Be thankful it isn't you. (squirrels are not good pets. They are unpredictable.) It sure makes great late night, though. Thanks Stephen.

@stiimuli Жыл бұрын

The former disgrace in chief does this every time he's in trouble. He throws out every excuse he can think of even if those excuses contradict each other. "They raided my home and took my documents...I didn't take any documents....those documents were planted by the FBI...those documents were never classified....I declassified them all magically when I took them....also those documents were clothes..."

@bobrisse9823 Жыл бұрын

It's called DELAY! Trump tactic on display. Capitalism, the media, US justice, evangelicals, and MAGAS have fucked US and the world up. MAGAS, evangelicals, the media, US courts, and corporatism at this point truly do not understand REAL AMERICANS! We despise your MAGA, fake Christian, and media asses; your republican reps are on the wrong side. Republicans (liars, cheaters, and thieves) are dinosaurs; let them rot in their own infernal bigotry. US will be there for ALL of US no matter what shenanigans any MAGA, US court, evangelical meat head, or media talking head spouts. TRUMP was not your savior; he brought out all the hatred, bigotry, and greed republicans have to offer US and MAGAS, evangelical meat heads, or media talking heads failed to deliver anything but hate, bigotry, and greed! The progeny of US are already facing a world of grief. I encourage US to remember that republicans have not voted for any legislation that would protect US, our progeny, or the world. Do not vote “R”. US and “Homie” don't play that game!

@benwu7980 Жыл бұрын

Colbert's analogy to scattershot and fridge magnets is quite apt, or Neil deGrasse Tyson's quote "It becomes truth, simply because it got repeated so many times." Another thing he said to Hannity was that after magacally declassifying document, that he sent them *everywhere* I almost feel sorry for his lawyers for their jeopardy. It's rather amusing that in court, his lawyers are quite surprised at being asked the most obvious questions. Reminds me of a sketch Key & Peele did, called "Rap Album Confessions"

@CopingwithGrattitude Жыл бұрын

Word salad…common trait of the personality disorder.

@YM-zz5qq Жыл бұрын

“Such sock”😂

@kellir.747 Жыл бұрын

Spot on!

@sealand000 Жыл бұрын

I'm not celebrating until I see concrete results.

@phyllisgarrison3561 Жыл бұрын

I wonder what Trump has on Hannity. Nobody at Fox News wants to talk to him, so he calls up Hannity for an interview. Hannity looked so uncomfortable, and he tries to guide Trump into what to say.

@SP_3333 Жыл бұрын

It doesn’t matter if the documents are declassified or not. A former President can’t remove any documents from the White House.

@mariadantzler2991 Жыл бұрын

well, just have Biden reclassify them all with his mind... that's how this works now right? LOL

@danmcgriff1421 Жыл бұрын

Yeah we get it guy that's been said many many times before come up with something new and don't forget you can always fall back on he's a Russian spy that was a good one

@johnhipp8267 Жыл бұрын

@@danmcgriff1421 You know if you would use correct punctuation, people might be able to understand what you are talking about.

@JLF201 Жыл бұрын

Hmm. Does T**** have to recognize Biden as current president for that to work? Who know the rules of his mind games.

@Tao_Tology Жыл бұрын

@@danmcgriff1421 Honey you could at least update your comment before pasting it.

@tyrant-den884 Жыл бұрын

Doesn't matter is if Clinton super special awesome classified them with his magic saxophone.

@stoppin2look Жыл бұрын

"45" was "thinking about" declassifying each document as he was holding them out to be photographed by foreign buyers?

@danburnes722 Жыл бұрын

Or extorting Macron

@mr.halloween87 Жыл бұрын

We are going to be absolutely disappointed by the final outcome.

@adamjukes6064 Жыл бұрын

steve; your best yet - in my many years of being a fan.

@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын

So King Baby Coward's excuse is "I am a Jedi"? Oh yeah, that will fly in federal court.

@couragekarnga8735 Жыл бұрын

It would have if Barr were AG.

@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын

@@couragekarnga8735 sadly that's the truth.

@chrisleebowers Жыл бұрын

He pleads the Sith

@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын

@@chrisleebowers why can't I upvote a comment more than once!? Laughed my ass off to that one! Thank you!

@jeffbaer5851 Жыл бұрын

DIdn't you know? T***p appointed all the best people to the federal bench! "The trekkies, we love the trekkies and their force. It's the biggest, hardest force ever in terms of forcing. As the Wolverine said to Superman, 'May the force live prosperously and long live trek.' I'm ... did you know this, I was the first person to think of the wars in the stars, those stars having wars? It was all me, and yet the socialist woke people want to keep me out of Valhalla like any good Jet-Guy...Jenga... Jello... Jet-Puffed.... man, woman, person, camera, TV."

@alariel85 Жыл бұрын

The dude has a bat ready and was skittish at every small noise, I believe him when he said he was terrorised by squirrels beforehand.

@justsaying14 Жыл бұрын

You know who has been taken out of action by squirrels?! Thanos 😱

@vincentavangogh3636 Жыл бұрын

Has he tried eating them? Their meat is delicious in stews. Both squirrels and rabbits are scarce in my backyard now... ☹️

@kpk1958 Жыл бұрын

He declassified everything....except his tax returns.

@susanwelch9087 Жыл бұрын

The Count of Mostly Crisco....down in Mar a Lardo

@kathiwilson1169 Жыл бұрын

By thinking about disclassification and saying the doc are disclassifid, could he be setting up a insanity defense?

@LetsBeCivilShallWe Жыл бұрын

Yours is the first comment I’ve seen that posits that argument, and it’s honestly the only one I’ve seen that makes _any_ sense.

@elisabethvalade9866 Жыл бұрын

@@LetsBeCivilShallWe But he KNEW he was wrong in having them there. That's why he hid them, and denied, denied, and denied when they asked for them in the FIRST PLACE. And the SECOND PLACE. If you know you have done wrong, then you CANNOT be adjudged crazy.

@pdoggo64 Жыл бұрын

Regardless of whether that's his plan, if they put him on trial, the jury could easily come to the conclusion that he "ain't right in the head"... Since he obviously isn't. .

@bunksoup8137 Жыл бұрын

I really appreciate that Colbert puts away every single invisible prop he’s ever pulled out to use.

@LostintheTwilightZone Жыл бұрын

He actually did a whole comendy sketch about the invisible props that the props department keeps for him....it was hilarious!!!

@karenwhite4461 Жыл бұрын

Makes me miss Jon Batiste 💕

@eggizgud Жыл бұрын

Good sustainable principle: Leave everything the way you found it as best as possible.

@mgeesmith Жыл бұрын

otherwise he'd spend so much time tripping and slipping on all those invisible things - hard to avoid when you can't SEE them!!

@thesholovepodcast Жыл бұрын

Same

@jodymacmanus1431 Жыл бұрын

He needs to be indicted! Why why why is Donald Trump above the law! This should be done immediately! Let’s get moving people!

@thehighpriestess8431 Жыл бұрын

How is Trump NOT in jail? Mind blowing!

@SpaceForceCommander Жыл бұрын

Uncle Ben said “With great powers comes great stupidity.” 😂

@homefrykl Жыл бұрын

This may be my favorite Colbert monologue EVER 😂😂😂

@tashinah.4781 Жыл бұрын

Me too! I plan to watch it anytime I need a good laugh 😃 🤣

@infinitysteppingstone331 Жыл бұрын

"The Count of Mostly Crisco", 🏆 Emmy worthy. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@sammyemmy4 Жыл бұрын

It’s a close second to his Jan 6 monologue. The fact that he was genuinely upset during it made it that more powerful.

@sideshowbob Жыл бұрын

Sooooo . . . Hillary's emails were in boxes of PRINTED OUT paper? Sounds like the punchline of a Dilbert cartoon about the pointy haired boss "I didn't read your email because my secretary is out so there's no one to print my emails for me"