Many of us will know or have heard of someone who has been in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Often we hear ‘why won't they leave’ or ‘I wouldn’t put up with that’ from those on the outside looking in. But few consider two other questions: how do you become a victim of intimate partner violence? And can you identify an unhealthy or abusive relationship even when there is no physical violence? Dr Susan Lagdon is a lecturer in Psychology at Ulster University and has been researching victim and survivor experiences of intimate partner violence for almost a decade. Susan explores the insights on these questions following her research and personal reflections as a daughter and mother. Dr Susan Lagdon is a lecturer in Psychology (Mental Health) at Ulster University and a fellow of the UK Higher Education Academy. Susan is also co-chair of Northern Ireland Forensic Managed Care Network. Her research interests include domestic and sexual violence and abuse, particularly the mental health implications of interpersonal trauma and the availability and types of support for victims. Susan’s work involves the use of multiple mix methods with a particular focus on participatory and stakeholder engagement to guide the research process. In the words of Kurt Lewin: “If you want truly to understand something, try to change it.” This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx