Your Sexuality: Ask & Tell: Alyssa Royse at TEDxRainier

Рет қаралды 467,941

12 жыл бұрын

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Пікірлер: 401

@barbwilburn1363 10 жыл бұрын

I'm surprised, I really shouldn't be, at all the negative comments. Getting upset about someone talking about sex is the equivalent to getting upset that a dog is in public without clothes on. It really is that stupid. And yet look at the masses coming together, wielding shame to excuse undersatisfaction and to brush off unfufilling sex lives.

@abird5032 10 жыл бұрын

The comment section is... interesting. To the point that the irony just validates her point about sexual shame.

@GirMoose 10 жыл бұрын

She's got some legit points. If you disagree, fine; just don't force your convictions on ANYONE but yourself. To steal & re-purpose a bit a Bill Nye quote; 'you want to believe what you do, fine, just don't make your kids do it. We need them to lead us in the future.' Granted that was about biology in the larger sense, I think it still holds true on a personal level. Taking church out of an argument only serves to focus on facts instead of faith, which regardless of your beliefs should be the bottom line in any discourse of interpersonal exchange. Do you love thy neighbor as thyself? Would you offer vulnerability to someone who has already shown themselves to visit harm upon the vulnerable? Cast the stone; nothing will happen but rest assured it's not because you're without sin.

@tstarch 12 жыл бұрын

Loved this! Watch and wait until the end... talk about moments in truth for everyone. Thank you!

@jade-adoniabattello9981 11 жыл бұрын

SO MUCH YES to this video. It coherently says & communicates a lot of thoughts I've had (& a lot of others like you have had too), that the negative taboo around sex & all things connected needs to shift because it hurts society.

@lilyjayye2336 7 жыл бұрын

I'm shocked at how many negative comments there are. The comments are really ironic because they're shaming certain sexual activities, which is exactly what she's going against.

@Erin27tg 11 жыл бұрын

I really hope more people watch and understand this. Its not shameful to enjoy and or be the person you are. I am MTF and I love the person I am becoming more and more with each day. The only regret I have is that I didnt listen to myself sooner. Wonderful video!!!!

@LillyLeal05 11 жыл бұрын

I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!! I HOPE SHE KEEP EDUCATING PEOPLE.

@JonathanBetzZall 12 жыл бұрын

Reminds me of the Fred Small song "Everything Possible": "You can be anybody you want to be, you can love whomever you will..."

@contrafax 7 жыл бұрын

I love this message! It is awesome!

@willow8186 10 жыл бұрын

This has got more than 1500 likes and yet most of the comments on the video is really negative. Shit, it's stupid how people can get so angry about a woman telling people not to be ashamed of who they are or what they like.

@JakeEnglishVS 10 жыл бұрын

Finally someone with some freaking sense!

@willow8186 10 жыл бұрын

Well thank you, hehe ^_^

@KhoenFhorn 10 жыл бұрын

My best guess is that people have gotten so used to their stupidity that they dossn´t know better, and that the people that still got some sense is too tierd of the stupidity of people that they simply dossn´t comment becouse they know what´s going to happen. It´s sad really...

@shivangigarg9280 7 жыл бұрын

I'm so in love with this person.

@jonsanders2069 11 жыл бұрын

desire. If we eliminate shame, it allows us better freedom to both do more of what we want and less of what we don't want, maybe even allow us to change our minds on acts if we see that they are pleasing us in one way but making us much sadder in others.

@Trevcreative1 12 жыл бұрын

So great to finally see this

@xxiseduction.1307 10 жыл бұрын

Excited about my brand new book: Give it a go!

@TheKapsaisin 11 жыл бұрын

great speech! I wish that this speech can be hold in schools one day, to stop shame and homophoby !

@ibkristykat 10 жыл бұрын

okay this is the best talk about sex & sexuality EVER.... everyone should watch this.... in this day and age, we need this sort of talk apparently. everyone needs to keep their noses in their own business.

@9072aaa 11 жыл бұрын

this speeker has guts ! great presentation.

@BeholdChronicles 10 жыл бұрын

Sex is NOT about procreation! Hey we can create life without sex stupid!! Sex is rejoicing in our natural bodies. Sex also strengthens the immune system! Sexuality is confidence! Sexuality keeps us balance.FACT if you don't enjoy sex chances are you are a judgmental, fearful person who will never enjoy life to the fullest! LOVE is great, Sex is natural and stimulating and healthy. SEX and LOVE together is unity of souls and physicality which equals Amazing!! .

@jackjohnson2853 10 жыл бұрын

All that is a means to an end. Evolution gives not a fig for your illusion of consciousness.

@LunaLu-00 8 жыл бұрын

+Awaken Chance Entertainment Thank You for this comment:) (even though, i have a feeling those that don't get it, will not get it no matter how its is explained to them)

@beckycsh 12 жыл бұрын

Great job Alyssa! I did a TEDx talk about sex too. I think it's a great venue for getting out sex-positive messages. And the way you ended your talk was brilliant!

@jonsanders2069 11 жыл бұрын

hold a conflicting relationship to those acts, both wanting and not wanting to. You can be both willing and unwilling to do something at the same time. An experiment can make you happy and sad and that sadness may not come from shame alone. If we eliminate shame from distorting the way sexual acts are viewed it allows us better control over our sex lives more generally. Someone may be both pleasured and disgusted by watersports and would be a happier person if they did not have that specific

@Phrankleen13 11 жыл бұрын

excellent presentation!

@sophieroskopf3574 7 жыл бұрын

This is extremely beautiful.

@echotimesthree6146 10 жыл бұрын

I'm asexual. Why am I watching this?

@danrenaydo3787 10 жыл бұрын

Because just like any sexual category, it's a part of you that desires expression in a society that discourages it. In your case, the urge to talk about it intellectually is probably even stronger just because you can't express what you are not through doing.

@BrennenQuinn 10 жыл бұрын

Because being asexual is still part of the sexual spectrum and being able to be honest and open and to not be afraid to be judged or condemned by your sexuality, or lack of it, is something everyone should be able to do. No one should be afraid of voicing their preferences or personal boundaries, and in fact being able to do so creates a framework for healthier, more honest relationships that are more compatible and gratifying for all in the long run. At least, that's what I think.

@JohnBastardSnow 10 жыл бұрын

I don't believe that most people who think they are asexual are really asexual. Unless they have some rare disease, they are just doing it wrong. Most of people who think they are asexual are women who have troubles getting orgasms. If they can emotionally open to their partner, they can ask him to use his hand white tiger tantra style and try to give them an orgasm. If they are not emotionally open, shameless, relaxed, etc then they might benefit from building intimacy first. Only after you tried several times white tiger tantra (partner), sybian (alone or with your partner arousing the spots you like), Hitachi Magic Wand... etc and nothing worked you can say that you're asexual. If the only thing that the person is tried is being with a couple of average men/average relationship (perhaps there wasn't enough rapport or intimacy) and using a couple of mediocre vibrators, then they shouldn't be labeling themselves asexual and closing that door, because there are a lot of good things to try out there. Also there's a possibility that that person is just attracted to the same sex and doesn't want to admit it. I think there are very few people who are actually asexual and can't enjoy sex. Also it's possible that that person is just not in touch with their body or dissociated most of the time, so that might be psychological, in this case NLP and body practices (like yoga or mindfulness meditation) can help to learn how to be in the moment and in your body, so to speak. Not knowing how to enjoy sex and being asexual are different things. IMO, most people who say that they are asexual just didn't learn their body enough or haven't tried different things out there. Just my 2¢.

@echotimesthree6146 10 жыл бұрын

I don't have a dissociative disorder or any disorder for that matter that would interfere with sexual urges or activity. Being asexual doesn't interfere with my life so it's not a disorder by itself. Also, I'm not a non-libidoist asexual, nor are much of the asexual community. Asexual means you don't get attracted to either sex. I DO NOT EXPERIENCE ATTRACTION. PERIOD. That says nothing about arousal or sex drive. Many asexuals masturbate. I'm not ashamed of being gay, either. If I were gay, the people who matter most to me wouldn't give two shits. But because I'm an ace, people like you think there's something wrong with me. I remember seeing a study that asexuals experience more prejudice than gay or bi people. So why I would claim asexuality rather than homosexuality beats me. I've been with girls, it just didn't do anything for me. Though it's really none of your business, I know what an orgasm is and it's just not that interesting to me. I've even been to 3rd base depending how you define it. I experimented for awhile before finally admitting my aseuxality. But I have never had a crush or wanted to have sex with anyone in particular. It just doesn't interest me. There is nothing wrong with having no sexual preference. Given that information, I'd say you're... uh... dead wrong about pretty much everything.

@echotimesthree6146 10 жыл бұрын

***** What do you mean declare it? In real life I don't really talk about my sexuality or lack thereof because it never really comes up...

@vickysimpson6202 10 жыл бұрын

I will never stop believing that monogamy and love are intergeral to great sex.

@beyondcompute 10 жыл бұрын

Fun and awesome talk.

@Vienalgs 12 жыл бұрын

a refreshing talk :)

@katesatten 11 жыл бұрын

Excellent & VERY interesting presentation, Alyssa. I watched it twice .. once by myself & once with my 25-year-old daughter who also (meaning as did I) found it to be interesting and inspiring. (I'm betting you will agree with me when I say that the people here that are focusing in negative ways on semantics are probably the most sexually repressed people among us.) I was raised to have a lot of shame around sex & I can honestly say that I have a feeling this video may have changed my life : )

@Pacman420 11 жыл бұрын

Great talk.

@jainecheng 10 жыл бұрын

Love it !!

@davidcounter5592 11 жыл бұрын

My left ear loved this video

@donnyarmstrong9559 3 жыл бұрын

I thought she was all over the map, most of the talk... however, that exercise was a totally awesome idea! I wonder how many folks saw themselves in someone else's survey?!

@9072aaa 11 жыл бұрын

yep ! i agree !

@Johnyboyhelsinki 11 жыл бұрын

Before you can say that a particular act in any form can be right or wrong you must qualify your basis for determining an acts rightness. Is it based in pragmatics,utilitarian ideals, natural law.... What exactly? I would base my conception of right and wrong in a mixture of pragmatics and natural law. All actions have a consequence that both effects ourselves/others and the present/future. To say that all sexual acts between consensual adults are ethical would in my opinion be a stretch.

@zacharyclifford5035 7 жыл бұрын

'Normal sex is between two consenting adults'... so by that meaning incest is normal (which i believe it is between two consenting parties). and that teenager/ etc sex is not normal because they are not consenting adults.. that doesn't sound right. How about normal sex is between two consenting parties where there is not an imbalance of power that can affect the growth of the parties involved. (Mental/ emotional etc).

@rith5 11 жыл бұрын

Hahaha! I love it! Great presentation.

@eljagg01 11 жыл бұрын

I find the declaration that other's actions "have nothing to do with you" (as opposed to the fact that the amalgamation of individual actions which make up a culture very MUCH affects if not dictates the individual's dominant reality) to be contrary to pretty much all of psychology and sociology.

@Jonyrijo 11 жыл бұрын

lol, yeah and 1:15 it does have an impact on me, the universe (let alone the earth, and human society) is not a series of closed systems, everything affects everything sooner or later, stronger or weaker. and my neighbors, undoubtedly affect my life everytime we interact. then 2:05 I'd say the difference between shame and guilt is that guilt is what one feels when we realize we did/are something that we consider bad, while shame is when we realize we did/are something that others consider bad

@spocktopus19 11 жыл бұрын

I heard a really interesting hypothesis on why sexuality is shamed a while ago. Back in the day, right after the plague hit, population was astoundingly low, and the Catholic church, being the biggest entity who could boss people around took it on themselves to make people have babies. The easiest way to do so was to call anyone who was not having average baby-making sex a witch, and create huge stigmas according to the Catholic religion against kinky sex, contraceptives, homosexual sex, etc.

@bfortner100 11 жыл бұрын

In fact, sex is not usually considered any consensual act between adults. "Sex" could include foreplay, flirting, and even a romantic thought, depending on ideology or laws based on ideology. "Adult" also is up for debate, regardless of the legal system and the mass media. "Phobia" and "Hate" are supposedly, but not, easier to determine.

@ZosiaSamosiaOo 10 жыл бұрын

I'm all for not shaming other people for their sexual orientations or preferences and not taking time to analyse their actions as long as both parties have given consent, but then... I have a crazy hard time liberating MYSELF and not shaming my own self for any needs or preferences I might have. It all boils down to religion and my feeling torn between my healthy (=not potentially illegal etc.) sexual nature and what I am told to behave like and all these rules I am being expected to abide by. No one's forcing or pushing me, it's just I personally feel ashamed and guilty of my sexuality - as if I were trapped in between what I want to do and what I have to do, both being two opposite ends of the scope. Has anybody gone through that and found a solution? Is there anyone who knows how to overcome this issue?

@LunaLu-00 8 жыл бұрын

+ZosiaSamosiaOo You should check the post from "NeilofSWC" below!! It should help you. I see you posted this a year ago and wonder if you were able to overcome your issue? I truly hope you and yourself are the best of friends now and you don't treat yourself like you wouldn't treat others (non-judgmental, that is), since that is all you need to do here, it seems..Good Luck in any case:)

@bryantotten9132 10 жыл бұрын

What happened to the joy of sex for pleasure.There is only a limited amount of procreating we can do!

@agiar2000 11 жыл бұрын

What would be a good basis for deciding of what we should be tolerant and of what we should be intolerant? I might agree that BDSM is not exactly "normal", just as having naturally blonde hair and dark skin is not "normal", because it's uncommon, but simply being uncommon is insufficient to determine that something should not be tolerated.

@zammmerjammer 10 жыл бұрын

And what if you muster up all your courage to be honest with your intimate partners about your feelings and your past ...and they reject you? It's pretty devastating. And what if it happens repeatedly? 100% agreed that sexual shaming is terrible and harmful. But the idea that simple honesty will somehow fix that is... kind of a lie. :(

@delaneykloesel3454 10 жыл бұрын

The idea is you live honestly. That's to say you're upfront and unashamed from the start about your sexual wants and needs. Because those pieces of you are just as important as any other parts of your personality. If not sexually compatible .... then really ... you're just friends anyway.

@wildoscar416 9 жыл бұрын

I would have a look at your timing... how and when you "break the news" .. if the rejection keeps happenng it could be do do with the way you present it..... equally it could be you are drawn to people you're not compatable with, don't give up they're out there somewhere... or you're into something outsde the bounds of acceptability, there are boundaries

@theartfuljamie 11 жыл бұрын

I agree.

@dbarzaga 11 жыл бұрын

Presentation is not clear. Please help

@TheImpiroGirl 11 жыл бұрын

SING IT!

@3uothd23gd87dua 10 жыл бұрын

also, there are situations where sex is a bad idea. like when you're having sex to try to get something from the other person. even if it's consensual, if you have an agenda its probably best to abstain. other than that i guess it's fine. its none of my business if other people have sex or not anyway.

@nicolewilliams3434 7 жыл бұрын

Preach

@revwilliam 11 жыл бұрын

Elizah, I have a feeling that you misheard that very important part (about consenting adults) because something is going on in your life which is troubling you. You may want to spend a few moments listening to the talk again. I found the message in this talk very sane and loving and helpful. Maybe you will too.

@NotSoSecretVideos 12 жыл бұрын

@imapolygirl It's always nice to be the object of a crush! :) Especially if it's my brainy brains that merit it. Thanks.

@Samara6824 11 жыл бұрын

Direct yourself to 1:37 and read (and listen) to the part where it is written (and said) that sex is a consenting act between adults. What's the point of watching a video if you aren't even going to pay attention?

@agiar2000 11 жыл бұрын

If by "as a private act" you mean that it should be hidden from the view of unwilling observers, then I agree. I think it would be rude and presumptuous, for example, for a kinky couple in my neighborhood to engage in kinky play in their front lawn. As long as it is in a medium people can easily avoid, for example, by navigating away from a webpage or changing a television channel, however, I see no problem. So, when you mentioned "over-tolerance", what exactly did you mean?

@Musashi246 11 жыл бұрын

..awww. I would have loved to see the faces of the audience when they tell about their kinks ^^

@dspaik 11 жыл бұрын

Traditional boundaries on acceptable sexual behavior may be too restrictive and unhealthy for modern societies,but some boundaries nonetheless are required to keep society in check. We didn't evolve to live in communities by the millions -- if we had, we would live as the ants do, without disorder, without any need for laws. We lived in tribal communities for tens of thousands of years before agriculture paved way to city states. Our biology has been optimized for tribal scale life.

@PoetryIsmyDrug 11 жыл бұрын

THANK YOU! NO SEX SHAME! Even if you are religious and waiting till marriage or only doing it for the purpose of reproduction, that's totally cool. But also your own choice as a person. THANK. YOU.

@ChaosTherum 11 жыл бұрын

The thing sheep are very physical when they say no as in kicking biting etc. I personally wouldn't do it but I have no problem with someone else doing it. and also comparing animals to humans is a slippery slope because animals don't consent to being eaten but we still do it.

@Charles-Anthony 10 жыл бұрын

David Gems of University College in London, a specialist in genetics has proposed the theory that males in all species have an underlying longevity and that it is sex in males that shortens their life spans. His personal research only works in worms, haha, but for all 15000 species of worms studied, it is true. Geneticists say it holds for all species, and studies are being done in other species. Human eunachs DO live far longer than human females. We'll know for sure with further studies.

@Jester123ish 11 жыл бұрын

Show me a traditional and stable society based on these ideas. The views presented here are a very small part of a much bigger picture. Biological self indulgence doesn't intrinsically make for stable and compassionate society, nor does it automatically result in the maturity we need to be emotionally involved with each others well being.

@ProfessorMacintosh 10 жыл бұрын

I think any talk like this should be opened and ended with differentiating sex and intimacy from desperate attempts at increasing one's own self worth. It's a common problem and talks like this could easily do more damage than good without addressing the issue.

@Jaxie.99 11 жыл бұрын

i'm not sure but i think her talk was about safe sex and the freedom to love whom we want. also that getting kinky is OK, with partners. we need to be safe but also get our freak on. she also shadowed kids that were shamed and the LGBT

@MemoryDealer 11 жыл бұрын

Indeed, Freud would have a thing or two to say about BDSM being considered "normal." We could be reaching a point of over-tolerance.

@jdpartist 11 жыл бұрын

I did succeed at the argument in showing that you made a big error in confusing me with someone else. Just as I missed a very small portion of the video, you missed the mark on who you were responding to. Your response to everyone on here is intended to provoke a response from the reader by containing errors in your reply. That's what a troll is. I know what one is because I am one, and you seriously come off as one.

@ductuslupus87 11 жыл бұрын

Finally, someone who cares what YOU think about sex.

@TheTwins60 11 жыл бұрын

One thing you can be sure of. The things other people do does affect you.

@wallacehowery6414 3 жыл бұрын

I think you mean it can affect you, like driving a car into you. What they do in the bedroom does not affect you.

@NathanClevenger1337 11 жыл бұрын

Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation for people putting them down for what they are into. Why has this not been made clear from her presentation? I think your obtuse to the idea of you being negative to others that enjoy something you don't agree with, has a negative impact on their well being. I thought I was on a high horse being straight I have nothing to worry about right. But my ex boss would project his inner secrets onto me and harass me and made me depressed. That's the message.

@MemoryDealer 11 жыл бұрын

I also noticed some logical inconsistencies. But what psychological problems do you speak of?

@queuesnake704 11 жыл бұрын

Muscle memory of treasuring people for who they are and start having some really rockin' good sex. Awesome.

@bryantotten9132 10 жыл бұрын

Slightly over simplistic but I was impressed with the way she tackled poineant delemas

@rith5 11 жыл бұрын

Time to act our age, finally.

@lakshmanankomathmanalath 11 жыл бұрын

great

@JohnBastardSnow 11 жыл бұрын

A consensual act, not any consensual act. It's even written in there. But that "ball kicking with a stick" thing that you've described sounds kinda interesting.

@kornellster 11 жыл бұрын

Don't people realize that raw data like this, "big numbers" don't mean anything out of well defined context and proper analysis?

@iCareSoVeryDeeply 10 жыл бұрын

I remember sex.... It really wasn't worth the grief. MGTOW

@ethnicbarbie 11 жыл бұрын

i cant really tell whether you're being sarcastic... but you're right regardless.

@MrGoatflakes 10 жыл бұрын

If you think that no humour can ever be fruitfully found in rape without denigrating or belittling rape victims then you don't understand the anthropological or evolutionary basis of humour. Which is that something is at first strange and frightening but then we find relief in finding that is less frightening than we first imagined.

@waynezeller 10 жыл бұрын

She doesn't say "excessive masturbation". She says "excessive sex". The phrase "heterosexual act" may or may not include masturbation, but "excessive sex" is hard to interpret as inclusive of that. But, even if that's true, plenty of studies have shown that frequent masturbation leads to a lessening of prostate cancer risk. Complete abstinance, on the other hand, leads to plenty of psychological problems, some of them debilitating.

@agiar2000 11 жыл бұрын

I had not heard that before, and that is terrible. However, just because some people get raped or abused in the porn industry does not make porn, itself, bad. Not all porn involves rape or other abuse, so it would be consistent for someone to be in favor of pornography and against abuse. It's sort of like saying I support the rule of law, but that does not mean I support all laws, considering there are laws I think are bad. Just so, I like pornography in general, but not all pornography.

@slackdave 11 жыл бұрын

How does what you say have anything to do with sexual shame?! It's not like being liberated would make society crumble, (nor does utopia necessarily boundary dissolution)..

@theartfuljamie 11 жыл бұрын

People get raped and abused in the porn industry. Look it up. Just because one agrees to a certain activity for a shot doesn't mean they agree to any and all sexual acts, and it doesn't mean that they can't get hurt physically/mentally in the process.

@cali4tune 11 жыл бұрын

This woman is a nutter. Just for the record "we" didn't decide to end don't ask don't tell etc. Rather this has been forced on the majority of people in our society by a small group of people. If you really think that people will except this long term you are mistaken.

@777OGCJM 11 жыл бұрын

say to

@jdpartist 11 жыл бұрын

If you're going to do tit for tat, she never mentioned that. She stated that sex is a consensual act between adults. I don't remember her stating shame amongst heterosexuals, if you can point it out, I'd love to rewatch that part. Pregnancy and STDs are a real part of sex.

@honestyrocksu 10 жыл бұрын

your argument doesn't follow. Men more often do more of the work and they are doing two different things, but more than that they are different in so many ways they wouldn't effected in the same way. Testosterone is much more prevalent in men for example and so on.... But I agree with you excessive sex? doesn't have much evidence, but then again men masturbate more than women. There is a Ted talk why sex matters that gives more details.

@TylerjX5 11 жыл бұрын

They also don't consent to being slaughtered for food. Whats worse sexing a non-consenting animal or killing it?

@krufdx 11 жыл бұрын

I like the policy of "Ask and Tell" but have no idea whatsoever how to apply it to my life. I'm heterosexual, with no special kinks or extreme desires, which is supposed to make it easier for me to be sexually fulfilled, but it does not. I'm honest with my feelings, but I can't find a way to connect with the women I meet and I find beautiful. Other than that - shame is harmful, true shall liberate us.

@MsBakesale 10 жыл бұрын

im curious about the psychology behind what leads people to "knife sex" or bondage..

@blakeevans2506 11 жыл бұрын

Highfiving isn't sex because sex is more than a consensual act it is a consensual act with generals involved and or penetration

@danielking9830 11 жыл бұрын

And continuing the same argument, none of us should ever drive a car because we might run someone over. To be sure if people are reckless with their partners then that is the same as manslaughter. But you can't assume kinky thrills are being played around with in such a stupid way. Most people are very careful as they want to live to tell the tale.

@Polyglot499 11 жыл бұрын

between adults?? I don't think so :-)

@danielking9830 11 жыл бұрын

True but the number of deaths from kinky sex activities, even risky ones, is very low - lower than the chances of deaths from parachuting, swimming, moutaineering, and comparable to rugby or other contact sports. So unless you want to say all of those things are wrong as well...?

@rasberries88 11 жыл бұрын

I don't want to have casual sex. Outrageous.

@slapcompany 11 жыл бұрын

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@RocknCorruptrepublic 11 жыл бұрын

Dark is dark b/c by definition, it's where (almost) no one wants to go. It's like, in the Bible, or something. :) (Actually I mostly made that up--but that doesn't preclude its validity.) :P Anyway, I think generally, anything that's not "normal" in purely quantitative terms, people intuitively are gonna feel "guilty" about, on some level. Although if you're truly a quant-y type, imo, the philosophy to go with that is largely not so. ;-) Like, the way she's jumping b/w stats and "reality."

@Swachitsky 11 жыл бұрын

so...if i really enjoy having sex, and have sex with the people i want (consentual), i should be ashamed of myself? for something that brings me joy and pleasure? plus, what does unregulated sex even mean? that there should exist a schedule to have it between couples?

@shodanxx 11 жыл бұрын

she is defining sex as "a consensual act" but I think it involves genital organs too

@DexterHaven 11 жыл бұрын

Yes, high-fiving isn't sex, but you didn't mention "low-twoing" someone. That coudl be. Her definition of sex was overbroad, I think.

@Mudkip3000 10 жыл бұрын

I'm a girl, and I talk about kinky sex all the time with my friends. Girls like sex. Sex rocks. Sex is not only for men.

@matuchicka 11 жыл бұрын

she has the word 'adults' in her definition of 'sex'.

@MsGeekomatic 12 жыл бұрын

Thank you! My sentiments exactly. Why, why, why all of the shame & embarrassment? Sex is great, fun, FREE (usually- lol). Nothing at all wrong with bondage, toys, & non-missionary & I concur on those~ in particular the plain-vanilla bed sex (yuck!). You do know you're not at all alone, right? It's just that it's the severely repressed folks steering at the moment...but, it is starting to change for the better. Hang in there! :)