A famous person once said...STOP LETTING PEOPLE WHO DO SO LITTLE FOR YOU CONTROL SO MUCH OF YOUR MIND, FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS. ..This I've decided to do to family, friends or foes.

"If you want to be treated as a queen, you need to act as a queen." so true 💯!

Dont give in too much in the beginning, let him earn it. Be brave to walk away anytime, you worth more than he thinks you deserve. If he cares enough he will try harder to keep you.

PUNISH indecisiveness by BACKING OFF. You will gain soo much power and respect

self control is a muscle we gotta train..

I have studied so much about emotional intelligence and it does boil down to self-control. You're going to feel the emotion. It may even be uncomfortable. We all have various triggers. It's not about what you feel. It's about whether you react from a place of woundedness or respond from a higher perspective. Thank you for the videos you do.

The day I told him what I wanted and inserted boundaries in the relationship he started respecting me. He knew where I stood and were he stood. Game changer.

If a man isn’t going to be emotionally supportive when I need him, he can move on. I’m done giving everything for men who do so little for me.

Being too available & too easy is a turn off for most men. Being more mysterious & giving them freedom & space will make them want to be closer to you even more. A woman being too desperate for their attention, too clingy & emotionally attached is too unattractive for a man. It shows weakness & vulnerability. Being a strong & independent woman attracts a strong & independent man. Sometimes, you are what you believe & you do attract what you are. Laws of Attraction. Be free in your mind & free in your Soul, then Inner Peace attracts Positive Energy. When you truly love somebody, you give them freedom & space when they need it. Unconditional love is everlasting.

Galatians 5:22 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.

You don't know how spiritual this is. Empowering

Also, not to take crap from him if he crosses your boundaries walk away.

DON'T LET YOUR EMOTIONS CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS 🙌🏻 Lets learn emotional intelligence Self- Control is the key. Don't text him, don't be the only one to call him... let that shit go

When i was nice and loving, he abused me. When i ignored him, he doesnt wanna let me go.

Exactly... SELF CONTROL... So many times I want to email him but I would never do it.. I want over this once and for all.. I have pride and dignity... He doesn't warrant an email or a phone call from me...

I was rational, i taught him Math.. I said Your Lack of contact is directly proportionate to your Level of interest

Ladies this actually works. Don't be needy.. they can smell that. 😂😂

My emotions are not me. My emotions are the information from me about me.

Reading these comments make me realize why relationships never last anymore.

This is so accurate. Learning to feel and control our emotions is what sets us apart from those who just react to their emotions and then regret it afterwards. Learning to decide how to respond takes discipline and determination but once they become a habit then indeed life improves dramatically - rather than being a soap opera.

The problem with this advice is that in my case I began to act like I was indifferent, I don't know anymore how to do the difference between being in control and being spontaneous and natural. I think it is good sometimes too let yourself express your feelings that is also part of being human :)

My levels of discipline make me SO happy & confident. It just makes me feel so strong, capable, and reliable.

That is true ... with men caring for you at least a bit. The other men get lost, because they want you to be their slave. They never liked you to begin with. A man that loves you for yourself, will become curious if you live your own life aside from him.

So true we can’t change what a person does but we can change how we react to it 😃

I agree to a point. I agree we shouldn’t act on our intense emotions at the moment, and learn to recognize our own toxic behaviors when conveying emotions to a man. However other relationship experts emphasize the value of being vulnerable. That it brings people together. Men like warm emotional women. They just don’t like women who act needy or desperate. Also make him earn this level of trust before sharing your deepest feelings and desires. If something upsetting or triggering does come up with him, use “I feel “ statements. Also make sure it isn’t directed at the guy. For example, a guy makes a mistake and forgets about your date to a concert that you made a month previously. You would state, “I feel devalued when my time isn’t respected. You must have mistaken me for someone who will put up with “X”. I respect myself so I will not.” Then end the conversation and go do something that makes you genuinely happy. If he doesn’t apologize and change the behavior, move on. He doesn’t respect you and no one needs that. No 2 or 3 chances! Set the expectation.

I studied so much psychology my son's old therapist thought I went to school for it. I was trying to learn how to fix my family. It ended up with me finding the self-worth to leave an abusive situation in 2016. This year I began my first relationship since. Right now he can't spend too much time here, and that's hard for me. I love your videos because they remind me what I need to know. What I already know. Self-control is a super power.

1:32 I predict the trait is self-restraint or self-control. 3:45 Yes!

I really like a guy online and we've been texting each other every day. I normally wait for him to take the initiative but today I texted him first. He normally replies almost immediately but he didn't! I controlled my feelings of disappointment as I knew he had read my WhatsApp text even though it showed just two grey ticks. (He'd obviously turned off the read signal!) I controlled my feelings and just left it. If he wanted to go there was nothing I could do about and texting him again would only make me appear needy! Five hours later he texted me and I replied as if there was nothing wrong! Thanks, Brian You're advice is great!

Just asked my friend to hang out! He said ! I will get back to you! I haven’t dialed that number since and probably never will! He has reached out and I will respond with the same energy I’ve always had! Because you won’t make me bitter or angry! But what you will know is that I’m not as pressed for you as you thought! Because I may like you but I love me!

"Madly in love with a guy you don't know", that is not love, that is projection.

I was thinking self respect, but self control is definitely important, it's something I've had to learn over the years, and it's definitely got it's challenges. Especially emotional self control. Thank you for another amazing video, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know 💙

I always love your messages. They speak truth and from the heart... another important word I learned today “Self-control”-a muscle that needs to be trained.

My emotions are my authentic self.

Just act like a guy...and you will never be the one chasing!

Brian, excellent video! You are so right about how using self control is so important and leads to greater confidence. I have found this so true in my own life. When I sit back and don’t act on negative emotions, but rather take action and do something happy and positive for myself, my life is so much better! Thanks for this wonderful video! ❤️

Self Control has always been my biggest struggle!

This is what I needed at the moment. This is amazing.

Your voice so sweet and warm...😁

This is one of the BEST most sincerely helpful videos I have ever seen.

TOTALLY AGREE w you that self control is one of the most important skills to master for every area of our life! I'm really enjoying your videos and messages! You're doing an AMAZING JOB!!

I think when it comes down to it. A guy is either into you...or he is not! Doesn't matter what you do!

Im so glad that i have enough self-control not to check on him no matter how much i wanted to.

This is the video . I can finally stop searching . This is THE video

Yes, he may lose interest if you make other plans, but he wasn't worthwhile in that case.

I have been there and not acted on my emotions. Hearing you recommend how to control one's feelings is a powerful process. I step back because I am naturally an overthinker, which is normal for me. I go over my thoughts and emotions by distancing myself from others to get a reality check. This process keeps me from making regrets.

I don't miss a single video of yours. Your videos are full of wise advices, not the usual advices " what to do to please a man" but how to respect yourself, be strong and independant . Thank u so much i learn a lot from u as woman and as a human being.

So true, I'm so emotional sometimes in my life in general, more often than sometimes, actually, it's really damaging to me, friends may understand you,but people who like to manipulate others may use your emotional triggers against you.

Thank you:) I needed to hear this.. I am a very emotional person struggling with mental health and I realize now that maybe..I have let them control my life & my decisions way too much and as a result destroyed relationships and now I'm lonely and single and sad. Time to regain my self control back!

Oh my god!!! Yes!!! I’ve found me being honest and having self control also, has been a god send. I hold back like you said. When I’m angry or upset because he cancels a date because he has to work for example, I just say “ok maybe next time :)” and it work’s ! I then have fun with friends and although I’m angry, he doesn’t need to know. However if he asks if he’s done something wrong, one time was because he was going on about his ex and it was an instant turn off for me. I was honest, I said that I didn’t feel comfortable. Turns out, you can be honest with integrity and they can respect you more! It’s all about self control 100%! Thank you xo

Self control, now I know, maybe he lost interest on me bcoz of the neediness to see him always, most of the time I was the one initiating the conversation, after found out he went back to exgf, now I did no contact then he is messaging me but i didn't reply, busy improving myself now and put back my self value. Thanks for your videos Brian, really help.

Just be yourself do not change just to please someone, in other way you'll lose yourself 😶

Thank you Brian...self-control is self-love.

I don't need to pretend who I am not. If I become emotional and told him about my feelings doesn't mean I don't have control of myself and he has the control. Because whether I show him my good and bad side, if the man is meant for me then he will stay, but if not, then I'll let him go. I can love him forever but if he cheat on me, abuse me and lie to me then his out of my life. Because all I need is a man who is honest and sincere to me and loves me for who I am, the good and the bad side of me. Because I'm that kind of person, when my heart choose to love him, I already accept who he was, is and will be.

Soooo good! 💕 Perfect explanation of why I flopped in my relationship two days ago and succeeded today! Delayed gratification DOES feel so much better than manipulating by my emotions! I LOVED your comment that a man who is good for me will be repelled by my lack of self control, which gives him power, but a man who is not good for me will be drawn to that!! Wow - so good - and confirms my man is sooo good for me! Thank you for your great insight!

Absolutely love this video! Straight to the point. So control your emotions, don't act needy, or desperate/thirsty, don't be clingy...perfect! Exactly everything a woman does when in love 😂. Self control is actually admired and helps eliminate the men that are fuck boys and the ones that are keepers. So WORK that self control "muscle".

Thanks a lot. It makes sense to me. Self-control is like a test whether he likes you enough or not to take a move.

It’s emotional regulation. More so than emotional intelligence, in my opinion.

why only women have to work hard on relationship?

You have given me so much info about emotional intelligence and self control which I wasn't taught much of as a child. This is a news years resolution! Thanks!

The self projection is real. I'm sincere myself and expect others to be sincere... disappointment. I do have self control, I'm able to adjust to situations accordingly and I emotionally regulate - I'm an anxious person but I mask it well. It's daunting not knowing what to expect from him, but you are the only one that you _can_ control. People come and go, you remain. Don't give in

So true how self control is important in all aspects of life. Food, exercise, spiritually. I'm very proud of my ability to exercise my self control muscle but am always working at it. Great video!

I have often said how come I am good at everything accept love. My love life was always ruled by emotions- out of control. All other aspects of my life are clean cool and collected. Crazy how I am most not like myself when it comes to love. Why all the bad evil 😈 men? Oh yes now I know.

Saved this to my favorites. Need to hear this more than once.

“Bad men are looking for women they can control” this reminds me of a fukboy I met once lol. He made me realize that Good men and immature men attracted to different types of women; good men are looking for quality, but immature men simply just want women they think look hot, they can fuk, and they can use.

Dear Brian, words can not be found to describe my immense gratitude towards this amazingly golden trait!!! A trait I have had on my own but had buried away due to getting involved with a toxic person and so on. You reminded me to take a look in the rear mirror witnessing my 14 year old self smiling thankfully as my 40 years self stopped the car and let her co-drive the vehicle of "self" with me. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. Love, from Sweden.

Yes, all of my ex boyfriends "respect and admire" me and my emotional self control. 🙄 That still doesn't make me marriage material in their hearts. What people admire isn't necessarily what bonds them with other people.

Thank you Mr. Brian. I actually experienced exactly what you explained. I was successful. Got married to a very loving guy. My past experiences taught me a lot. What you explained is really true. May GOD bless you😍

Self control is a new one for me but I've been executing it well lately (for the past month). It helps the healing process for me.

Don’t. Text. Him.

💖SO l did the right thing by not communicating because l give him the power. I moved away as l felt l was going to be let down. I flexed it x

Honestly when I see somebody completely detached from their emotions and in complete "self control," it's a huge turn off. They feel robotic and inhuman to me. Especially with men, it's usually a sign that they're not in touch with their emotions and can't handle the enormity of them. How do you determine the difference between a lack of self control and a lack of being in tune with one's emotions?

This really spoke to me. I'm a very emotional woman and I've always acted on those emotions... now learning how to change this is the problem

Never wonder if he will call. Don't give them your phone number. If they want to go out they will ask in person and set a date.

Brian you Amazed me.. This video is excellent for me.. Thank you very much.. I just need to control myself from now on.., I hope to see more video from you Sir, I love you and God bless You!!

Funny you came up with this video today.. Today I surprised myself and didn’t react based on my emotions with a guy I like. Instead of being needy as I’d be in the past, I was totally supportive for him to stay home instead of seeing me tonight. I was tiny bit disappointed he can’t make it, but I understood that he needed time to rest after very long week. I am quite sure he was surprised by my cool reaction.😎

TOTALLY agree! Self control is the key to a healthy life, not only to love relationships

This truly spoke to me!!! I have been doing this up until now and no more!! I will keep strengthening my self control muscle 😊 thank you!

Wow! This one is INCREDIBLE! I recently handled an emotionally charged situation from the perspective of self-love and being willing to walk away, which did render a positive outcome (in the vein of not showing all my cards, i.e. revealing all of my emotions). However, the self-control angle paints with a broader stroke. I LOVED this!

Damn been so confused and in doubts for months and this is it. “EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: SELF- CONTROL.” So easy to understand but late to realize it tho. Thank you so much for this!!

Very true .. .self control! One of the best advices thus far. 👍

So basically be a freaking Robot. Don't act. Don't react. Don't talk. Don't expect. Just move along and let things Unravel! Load of bullshit right there. Voicing out your feelings and thoughts in a positive way is the best solution to every problem and a source to a healthy relationship.

Thank you for this video, you just made me feel great and that I'm in control even though I felt defeated from a potential romantic connection due to the current pandemic. We are on each others social media but apart from viewing each others stories, I have not acted on it, don't feel the need to initiate the conversation as I did in the past and He isn't neither which tells me everything I need to know. So thank you again I'm very happy with my true self I AM successful

Brian, you are one smart person..the lady who wins your heart, will be truly blessed. You have an Exceptional way of explaining relationship psychology...your intelligence is the trait that is most attractive! You are also not bad for this old RN eyes either! Yes, you are something else!

Good men set their physical needs aside to demonstrate control of themselves and interest in the development of the relationship. Goed gedaan!

Really good stuff, “Brian!” Makes so much sense! I’m going to start being aware of that, reaction trigger, with keeping that in mind. Confidence is being non reactive. You lose power when you react the way your response system feels the need to. Thank you!

Your advice is so useful! Not only for romantic relationships, but for all kinds of relationships Thank you!

I so wish I’d listened to this before, I’ve just blew my relationship I’d worked at, by losing it. The basis is so helpful. Feel and acknowledge the emotion perhaps privately for me and then when it’s under control reflect on it’s basis and action required. I had very strong emotions that I had no control over, they took over, phew controlling that energy will be strong self control

This is the best relationship advice I have ever heard. Question is , is it too late not letting your emotions dictate your actions if you’re already in a relationship and have been doing everything wrong?

Deep and practical. Brilliant.

I teach yoga and this video gave me all the feels for myself 😊 and my practice 😍🤗🧘🏾‍♀️ I love me some me. A benefit of yoga is self-control. Thanks for this video.

Yes ! Self control confidence, I will keep repeating this. Thank you sooo much Brian

Your voice is too soothing Brian.... it relaxes me instantly...

As usual Brian, you nailed it!!! I love how you put that self-discipline & self-control are the present foundations of a good future decision + the emotions saying "hey check this out" and up to us to whether or not check it out. THAT IS SO POWERFUL! You're one of my fave dating coaches, and as usual... mindblowing value! Thanks for making this comparison. This kind of psychology not only applies to relationships but for mental health too -- depression & distraction run similar wavelengths and we are choices away from recovery. Thank you for this!

I needed to hear this! I understand Emotional intelligence wayyyy better now! Thank you!

You helped me so much today... not having self control has cost me so much in past and i will act on this from.now

Powerful and true! Thank you, Brian!

2020 goals!

Thanks Brian. I definitely act on my emotions and then regret it later. I need to practice self control every day in every situation.

Dear 💕. I don't get tired of listening to your words of wisdom. Thanks so much as I find solace in it.

Wtf, dude!!! If the guy is insulting you, just leave. Do not stick around for another round of abuse. Don't even give him a chance. As adults, if people haven't figured out that insulting the person that you're dating is not acceptable, then it's not your to teach them or correct them. Just leave. Find someone who IS a responsible and emotionally healthy and balanced adult. Don't give him a chance to do it again.