"We've never had twins in Star Wars before." *Looks at the original trilogy* You sure about that Disney?

The critics paid by Disney gave it a 94%. Disney will call this show a huge success.

When a teenage lesbian wiccan defeats a Jedi Master with a butter knife in the first 5 minutes of the opening.. Ok. Meanwhile her lesbian wiccan sister OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) puts out a fire... IN SPACE, because, safety first, lol. Even AI can't write something this laughably stupid.

Star Wars 1977 to 2005 RIP

Disney Star Wars Logic: -Get stabbed by a lightsaber...character survives, it's just a scratch! -Get stabbed by a small knife, that clearly wasn't large enough to cause lethal damage.... Character dies in "such a brutal way" 🤡

I got it now! Two woman were impregnated by the female force to give birth to OSHA, NATO, and two other normal names, which all are identical and are played by the same actress! That's the revelation for next chapter. They are the Chosen One born of the female force! SITH are LGBT and Jedi patriarchy try the hide the force doesn't need dirty males! I understood the Acolyte!

Turns out Shmi created Anakin by scissor friction.

Funny how KK in Spanish means Poop 💩

the only white jedi killed himself cause he was sad... wtf lol

STAR WARS is not dead. disney star wars is.

I celebrated this dumpster fire by watching South Park: Joining the Pandaverse.

The horrible actor painted green is coincidentally, Leslie Headings “wife” in real life.

given a choice between watching the Acolyte and gastroenteritis you will find me in the toilet

We never had twins in Star Wars before? ARE YOU SURE???

Never watching Disney Star wars ever again.

[Call Me] Chato pointed out that both the “light” twin and the “dark” twin, who have been separated for many years, have the SAME HAIRSTYLE. Like the fire burning in outer space, you can’t unsee the stupid mistakes once you see them. The writing and story are horrible. They spent nearly 200 MILLION on this insulting trash?

Krazy Kathleen Kennedy learned nothing from the Panderverse

In a separate episode, we meet Fema.

The opening fight scene is so bad. It's like a old bad Jet li movie. And wow a simple knife can beat a Jedi. Yet a lightsaber pushed through a chest just requires a cloth wrap and a few days rest.

My poisoned Sith who gains strength through evil but loses a little bit of humanity each time makes for a way more interesting character.

Acme Delivery Service: "So exactly how much legit Star Wars fan kryptonite do you want for this series?" Headlund: "YES."

I had zero intentions on even giving it a chance. Just judging by the cast, i can tell it's going to be crap.

Sir Ian Flemming was a Naval Intelligence officer - a lot of his characters were based on actual people he knew.

I still haven't found a soul that is shocked over this. That tells me how dead Star Wars is.

“The Acolyte is worse than you think.” An even easier pass then. The opposite of love is not hate, it’s apathy. See ya! 👋

Wait until the next episode when OHSA gets her new droid, ISO 9000

"Too dumb for adults, too boring for kids" That is a very apt description. It goes for most of DIS content these days.

a fire in space, space an airless void. What the hell? someone failed basic high school science.

The Jedi didn't start the fire; It was only burning before Mae was turning...

With my Sister's Disney+ subscription, I keep re-playing all the George Lucas Star Wars stuff (including the Ewok Movies) plus Rogue One and Andor, while never re-playing the other Disney Star Wars live-action garbage.

I can’t wait for next week’s incredible episode, “Scissor me timbers!”

FULL STOP! "The ship crashes into an asteroid and hurtles toward EARTH"? WTF? They put EARTH in this series? I thought this was all taking place in a galaxy far, FAR away. Did they actually put earth in this series or did you just flub a line?

It Looks Like It’s Fan Made! That’s How Bad It Is! Super Woke = Super Trash 🗑️!

Never had twins in Star Wars... Luke and Leia like 😑😑

THEY KILL CARRIE ANN MOSS AT THE BEGINNINGS OF THE FIRST EPISODE?!?!?!? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! That was the ONE THING I thought looked at least somewhat interesting about this train wreck!!!!!

The twin that would have had hundreds of legitimate alibi's as to her wherabouts, is accused of traveling a long distance and kill a highly experienced Jedi with a small knife. Yeah right.

Woke? Yes it's Woke

This Star Wars Lesbian Fan Fiction, that's it. Ep 3 apparently discusses twin girls being born from two (?) women through the Force. Meaning it is the ultimate lesbian dream of being able to have children without having to involve a man in any way. And how do the Jedi that arrest the girl not talk to anyone else on the ship to ask if the girl was on the ship at the time the Jedi was stupidly killed by small daggers? Anyone could have corroborated her story or that she was never seen leaving or arriving back on the ship.

Up north here in Canada, it's called OHS Occupational Health & Safety.

We’ve Never had TWINS in Star Wars…wait WHAT? Oh you mean we’ve never had Identical twins 🤦‍♂️

Note to self don't name a character after Occupational Safety and Health Administration because when a regular person hears OSHA they think about work.

never had twins in star wars before? hello? luke and leia?

Did anyone else noticed how the titles for the brand new episodes of the Acolyte are formatted differently than past Disney Star Wars shows? They have a / between the two words. Lost/Found, Revenge/Justice, He/Him, She/Her, They/Them…

I think shows like this are created out of spite. Not to generate a profit or as a passion project. Simply to make people angry.

Thank the Force this is Disney Star Wars and not Legends.

Screw OSHA, they made me spend countless hours ensuring rebar ends were properly covered because some goomba might walk onto my *closed* work site and hurt themselves on them.

Where’s Therm Scissorpunch? He’d fit right in this show…😂🤣😆

I remember seeing Return of the Jedi when it came out. It's sad to see the deliberate demise of a pleasant childhood memory.

“We never had twins in Star Wars before”

CAM was the whole reason I tuned in. I still can’t believe THAT’S the Jedi why decided to off in the first ep.

Don’t Forget, The 5 Minute End Credits That Need To Be Reduced To 1 Minute End Credits! ( Disney + ) 😂 They Do It With Marvel Series Too!

My biggest gripe with this show is that the main actress makes no effort to differentiate the twins. They talk, act, and react the exact same way. If they were to dress exactly the same, I couldn't tell you which was which.

They’ve never seen The Mighty Boosh. Because ‘The Acolyte’ is definitely based on Old Greg. 😂

Remember when calling something gay was an insult? And now they're calling Star Wars gay?

At least at the end of episode 2 it answers the decades old question..." Do Wookies shit in the woods ?"

It's obvious from the outset that Leslye Hedland couldn't successfully direct traffic.

Always assume something will be worse than what you imagine and prepare accordingly. Not to the point you'll be paranoid, but just to curb your enthusiasm and deal with any issue rationally. For example, I expected The Acolyte to be horrible. By confirming it is with the ones who can survive deathly cringe-worthy content, I walk off without losing sleep and deny Kennedy my anger.

That interview had 3 of the most disgusting people alive.

I knew it was going to be bad as soon as I saw the lazy campfire in space.

Never had twins in star wars. Jacen and Jaina Solo from the expanded universe?

Star Wars Woke Up

I didn't know we could have fires in the vacuum of space.

"attack me with all your strength" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I have just got to the point I don't care about anything Disney does anymore.

Jar Jar Binks deserves better 😔

"Star Wars is dead" ...again? . What is dead, can never die lol 😂😂😂

I won't watch this, but you confirmed what I figured would be the case, that Carrie Ann-Moss is an early casualty. We can't have a white character, that people will always revere for her Matrix role, last very long and steal the stage from queers and minorities.

I did notice a total lack of white male characters in the main cast, and all the ones that have appeared so far have all died (or been imprisoned) within minutes.

The Mandalorian wasn't very good, it was just floating in a sea of turds.

How many shows will Disney fuck up? Which shows that they had were a success? WHY WHY WHY are they so blind.

Disney keeps making Star Wars shows for 20 something black female tomboys which is an incredible small demographic.

So Luke and Leia are not twins anymore strange

Don’t forget, the green female Jedi who can’t act is Headland’s girlfriend. Worldwide search for the actress for that role.

We’ve never had twins before…..I mean, other then Luke and Lea

Acolyte definitely written by A.I.

6 months in 2024. We've witnessed cinema reaching new heights with Dune 2 AND we're also reaching rock bottom with Acolyte. Disney as infinite money and they still don't consider hiring actual reputed filmmakers and directors... ''We bought Star Wars for 4.5 billion and we hire random NPCs to write our stories!''

I'm glad I wasn't the only one that got the OHSE reference, thank you.

At this point I'm convinced that KK loves to bathe in the tears of crying fans

KK followed her formula like clockwork-put a chick in it, make it lame and gay.

Has anyone noticed that Lesley put her wife in the show or some of the cast of the movie she directed?

In fairness to LH, The Simpsons dubbed C-3p0 and R2-d2 as the "gay robots" from Star Wars (they were wrestling the Cylons from Battlestar Galactica), of course it was funny when the Simpsons said it.

going on a killing spree to avenge your sister who isn't dead is about all that needs to be said for Disney Star Wars

Why do all the girlbosses have to SUCK at acting? This is like Reeva times two.

Star Wars was dead the second it was sold to Disney

I remember when I wrote (but never published) a SW fanfic about a kinda twin story. But I made the concept a little more complex. (I imagined it in middle school and my best friend was my inspiration). My story is about a rare Force occasion featuring two Force sensitive boys born at the very same time in different parts of the galaxy (I liked calling this event *The Force Twins* so they may not be blood siblings but the Force is truly strong with them). They are both destined for greatness however they can become very destructive or maybe at least one of them would join the Dark Side. So the Jedi Order never wanted them meet to make them more independent before they can work together. Because though they are destined for a strong brotherly bonding the Jedi was afraid they might be come dependent on one another also I made the weaker on their own but when they are together those two are super strong. One of them focused more on lightsaber skills while the other was trained to use the Force wisely. This was my basic concept. I hope you liked it.

Nerds are not gay. That would be hipsters.

You know it is bad if youtuber reviews are more entertaining then the actual show

6:43 *I GOT THAT REFERENCE, WELL PLAYED SIR*

The only thing that impresses me is that Jeff made it through BOTH episodes. I was falling asleep by the end of episode I, and when the credits hit…I said “well,enough of this”.

Oh, from what I've heard, I can't WAIT for the reviews of the THIRD episode next week. REALLY. I'm just DROOLING with anticipation for the reviews.

Episode 3 will just dig up the SW corpse, shake it for any life and then toss it back into the grave with a maniac laugh of Disney hating all fans.

It's incredible that they can exceed themselves in fail with each new show, but, here we are.

To be fair, "Osha" is also a character in ASOIAF (played by Natalis Tena in the show).

Well presented you got a new sub

“Unholy union” lmao. Couldn’t have been described better. Sad thing is when the deal went through I was excited. I had no idea what was coming. Smh

At this point they are just surviving off of hate watching 😂😂

I canceled D+ after the Kenobi bait and switch

heres disneys brilliant masterplan, with some slight remodelling, all those unsold shuricopters can be now sold as oshacopters!

Thanks for watching. I cut it off the second Carrie Ann Moss died

Her other sisters NATO. And AWOL 😂😂😂😂😂😂