The Complete Diary of Karl Pilkington (A compilation w/ Ricky Gervais & Steve Merchant) Extended Cut
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7 жыл бұрынSamuel Pepys, Ann Frank and now Karl Pilkington.... The complete diary of Karl Pilkington from the Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant XFM radio show and podcasts.
Check out the entire "The Complete Karl Pilkington" collection here:
• The Complete Karl Pilk...
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Have a look at the The Complete Karl Pilkington Collection (all his books, TV shows and other things):
UK Store - www.amazon.co.uk/shop/doctory...
US Store - www.amazon.com/shop/doctoryak...
#TheComplete #KarlPilkington #Diary
@markmarkmark7131 28 күн бұрын
I play this most nights at bedtime. I just skip to a random part, fall asleep within minutes due to pure relaxation. It will never get old. Ever, it's timeless.
@museman1986 Жыл бұрын
The decision Steve makes to read the diary instead of Ricky is so underrated and makes this the perfection that it is
@scottmills4401 Жыл бұрын
100% right from the minute he talks about the invention
@jamesmccartney5324 Жыл бұрын
Agreed they are all brilliant. Always cheers me up 👍
@pushthetempo2 Жыл бұрын
Yeah Ricky can't string a sentence together! Steve has solid comic timing.
@DubbleTee 9 ай бұрын
Talent.. Steve's voice and timing draws me in immediately. What a storyteller.
@todddickinson3262 7 ай бұрын
100%!!
@adambritain5774 3 жыл бұрын
'Suzanne didn't laugh when I said her arse had the same problem". Comedy. Gold.
@joetripp420 3 жыл бұрын
Ussu
@joetripp420 3 жыл бұрын
Iisiihsihsiiisisfhsiding fii
@joetripp420 3 жыл бұрын
Iisiihsihsiiisisfhsiding fiii
@joetripp420 3 жыл бұрын
Sishihiddxihshiif
@joetripp420 3 жыл бұрын
Ospur
@caityvonne_ 5 жыл бұрын
Anyone else go to sleep to this? It’s so soothing for some reason 😂
@the.peacekeeper 5 жыл бұрын
Katie Yvonne it’s Karl’s voice just kinda puts me to sleep 😂
@K4R007 4 жыл бұрын
Katie Yvonne Been trying to figure that one out for years. Have to turn the volume down a bit tho because of Ricky’s cackle.
@DanceySteveYNWA 4 жыл бұрын
@@stevechristie2569 how old are you? (feel free to not answer, as I understand its non of my business)
@stevechristie2569 4 жыл бұрын
@@DanceySteveYNWA 36 and a week
@AlienRelics 4 жыл бұрын
Yes! So it isn't just me.
@michaelreddington658 3 жыл бұрын
Stephen Merchant’s comic timing absolutely makes this for me...the line “but we never saw his Wife” and the way he says it always gets me 😂😂
@sarahleask2478 3 жыл бұрын
She said he looked a mess, and was embarrassed to be seen with him. It's their ruby anniversary tomorrow!
@imogenwelsh1036 2 жыл бұрын
@@sarahleask2478 am my am al
@imogenwelsh1036 2 жыл бұрын
@@sarahleask2478L am my am al
@imogenwelsh1036 2 жыл бұрын
O
@Mine4062 2 жыл бұрын
Smerch is the GOAT!
@devey123 5 жыл бұрын
I woke up at 3am this morning and this was still playing. I think Ricky's laugh woke me up.
@Godzilla00X 4 жыл бұрын
A beautiful sound to be awoken by
@JHer-wd3js 4 жыл бұрын
Sure you are not a bender?
@That_Revenant_Guy 4 жыл бұрын
Happens to me all the time
@barryskilling7874 4 жыл бұрын
@@Godzilla00X was is are of yyyýyýyyyyyyýyyýý
@MrFatman1875 4 жыл бұрын
This literally just happend to me lol
@TheDjSham 11 ай бұрын
My mother has been using this as a sleep aid for years. I'm only 3 minutes in but I get it now. Much love to anybody else just discovering this gem now. Like myself
@drdavid096 2 жыл бұрын
an unaware genius of comedy who makes comedy legends laugh in hysterics without trying. this is a man like no other
@paulfleming2957 Жыл бұрын
Lty
@robertsmith3672 Жыл бұрын
Right right right. No I'm just saying . What a fkn bore .
@brettpilkington9539 Жыл бұрын
As it goes on he does play up his character, he's not as oblivious as you think.
@peterbach1126 10 ай бұрын
Thinking Karl is not putting up a front is the height of comedy as well as ignorance.
@kerrydinning2506 9 ай бұрын
@paulfleming2957 ur comment asked me to translate to English. I got "Lt". That was handy... lol
@OneAndOnlyYesMan 4 жыл бұрын
“If moths had eyes” will go down as one of the great opening lines in a poem
@OneAndOnlyYesMan 3 жыл бұрын
The One Who Laughs 1:22:01
@OneAndOnlyYesMan 3 жыл бұрын
The One Who Laughs You’re very welcome!
@531katie 3 жыл бұрын
Hahah. I love how excited Ricky got when be found it. Karl is the most whinging person. No wonder an idiot abroad was such fun. Especially Route 66. His comments about appearance on Glee.
@Crimis666 3 жыл бұрын
Also, without planes men would have wings.
@cahill8875 3 жыл бұрын
@@OneAndOnlyYesMan0pppp0app 0pp pp0ppp0pp0p0pppp00pppppp0p has p0pp0pp0pp0ppp0pppppp00ppp0ppp0s p0ppppppppp to fopp0pppppppr poppy oil to pppppp00ppp0ppppppppppppppppp0p0pp0p0ppppppp0p0p pleaspppppp0pe isx what please pp0pp0ppp0pppppp00 ppppp0p0ppp0p0pppppppppppp0pe ppppppppppppppp is ispapplee pop update is and you have ppppp0pppppppp0ppp0p00p0 ppppppppp0 updates and pppppppppppppppis ppoppy and pppppppppppppppis pppppp0pppp0pppppp00ppppppppppp0pe Peterborough please oppo us p0pppppppppp0pe p0ppppppppppppppppp00ppp0p ppppppppppppp0ppppppp p0ppppppppp ppppppppppppp0ppppppp pppppppppppppppis is Peterborough is going well ppppp00ppp0pp Peterborough peppers ppppp00ppp0pp to pay on pple pop 9pp0ppp0pp0p0pppp00pp 9plus for people ppppppppp0 ppppppppppppp0ppppppp in my mind reader ppppppppp0ppppppp pppppppppppppppis ppppppppppppp0ppppppp pppppppppppppppis in ppppppppppppp0ppppppp ppppppppp0ppppppp ppppppppppppp0ppppppp and please pppppppppppppppis pppppppppppppppis poppy pppppppppppppppis ppppppppppppp0ppppppp ppppppppppppp0ppppppp please ppppp99l
@molitovv 3 жыл бұрын
“You are the worlds best idiot” never a more insulting compliment has been said.
@carriej.4120 2 жыл бұрын
He loves Karl, he loves Karl
@Deadman1000 Жыл бұрын
Karl just taking the names down of ancient philosophers and not bothering studying their work is the kind of comedy I love.
@annemains4415 Жыл бұрын
I just heard this part lol
@vikkifullarton6066 7 ай бұрын
Nothing helps me relax before bed better than Karl’s Diary. I listen to it most nights. Don’t think I will ever get bored of it 😂
@TheRuddster95 5 ай бұрын
Same hahaha just got back into it
@breshinn 4 ай бұрын
Same
@AnonYmous-lk9qy 3 жыл бұрын
The fact Gervais and Merchant, two award winning, professional comedians are in absolute stiches constantly to Karls pure honest unadulterated thoughts is a testament to the genuine genius that is Karl Pilkington!
@arealhuman826 3 жыл бұрын
Based on how this is apparently the ricky gervais show and not the karl pilkington show makes me think Steve and Ricky probably stole their jokes. They're willing to make a show playing elitism to their clear superior, not a good look
@timothyclark9586 3 жыл бұрын
@@arealhuman826 it's called the Ricky Gervais show because Ricky is a much bigger name world wide than Karl. It is simply an advertisement choice. Ricky even acknowledged this and agrees it should be called the Karl pilkington show
@arealhuman826 3 жыл бұрын
@@timothyclark9586 I didn't know they acknowledged the talent, thank you
@italianwaffle5592 3 жыл бұрын
@@arealhuman826 I mean, I wouldn't call it a talent per-say, he doesn't rehearse this, nor does he seem to know it's funny.
@tvnostalgia7477 2 жыл бұрын
The funniest people are usually your mates, not a professional on the TV.
@07spectramind Жыл бұрын
Stephen Merchant is the Morgan Freeman of the comic world; his delivery of lines is simply amazing! Love this trio that brings laughter into my life every day!
@AA-hg5fk 9 ай бұрын
Not often that I see Morgan Freeman compared to a lanky co-writer with a worzel accent!
@mauicountygis5450 7 ай бұрын
Even Stephen couldn't get the "Did I tell you about the immune system?" line out,
@PROUDCANADIANGIRL 3 ай бұрын
Steve and Karl… that would be a harmonious reunion back on the radio
@shoafymusic 3 ай бұрын
@@PROUDCANADIANGIRLexactly. Everyday I pray and hope for these guys to get back in the studio for some fun. It makes me so sad that they did this WAY back in early 2000s
@poopandfartjokes 25 күн бұрын
Now I need a remake of Shawshank Redemption starring Stephen Merchant and Clive Warren.
@mightymorphin9816 3 жыл бұрын
Its strangely calming listening to a man be utterly content with such a simple life. We could all learn something from Karl!
@jbri1 2 жыл бұрын
Defo. Although not sure his life was so simple once he met rick
@22wiggles 2 жыл бұрын
L
@danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307 2 жыл бұрын
If I ever met ricky I would inform him all apes are monkeys! GRRRRR 🤦♂️🤣
@danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307 2 жыл бұрын
01:22:00 They dead body did have a hair styling product in it! THAT ONES 100% CORRECT!
@asapjoshy2065 2 жыл бұрын
@@jbri1 t
@sarahleask2478 3 жыл бұрын
Best bit of advice Karl gives is about relationships, "If it's 'ard, it's not right." 🙌🏻🙌🏻
@leannetaylor5313 Жыл бұрын
Preach 🙌🏻
@bazglsgw1208 Жыл бұрын
Totally right.🤣
@Muzzle801 Жыл бұрын
Not the kind of advice anybody needs for their sex life tbh... Makes me wonder what your relationships are like 🤔🤣
@WillyNilly420 Ай бұрын
It actually works
@brian32151867 9 ай бұрын
43:06 - the poppadoms! LOL. This is where it really hits its stride! Karl's writing of a pointless story, Steve's perfect "kids' show narrator" delivery, and Ricky's reaction...still makes laugh all these years later!
@bartofilms 5 жыл бұрын
The thing I like about KP is that he finds humor in the absurdity of life without always taking the piss out of people with personal attacks. This takes intellect.
@VirtanenDK 5 жыл бұрын
This is twaddle !! Karl don't see this as humor in life. This is what he see, and believe in. I got his diary, bought in PDF. Year's ago. You can probably get it cheep today. It's called "happy slapping by a jellyfish" Her you hear one long edit. You should really hear the programs, first the radio programs and then the podcasts. So you also get the comment's to all this !! Happy holidays 🎅❄️
@loritracy1385 4 жыл бұрын
@watashi - Personally, I like it when Karl sometimes stands up for himself & takes the piss out of them as he's ALWAYS the butt of their jokes.
@robertsmith9076 3 жыл бұрын
@eddiewinehosen Too true well he is a Manc innie .
@cameronkoontz6393 3 жыл бұрын
@eddiewinehosen karl is both an absolute mong and a genius
@tyroon81 3 жыл бұрын
@@VirtanenDK True.. Karl doesnt find humour in anything. You have to understand things to find them funny. He is funny but its not on purpose.
@Nickersons-Theme 4 жыл бұрын
"but we never saw his wife" cracks me up
@sarahleask2478 2 жыл бұрын
It's the way Steve reads it out. His voice just brings it to life 😂
@tomflood3372 2 жыл бұрын
@@sarahleask2478 arssiryeurarssyyyyyy
@AA-hg5fk 2 жыл бұрын
Also, why on earth would you call a café tattoos?!
@joshhiggins5509 6 жыл бұрын
They should play this in mental health clinics. This has literally been the absolute remedy when feeling depressed #ThankYouKarl
@nikfirehazard 5 жыл бұрын
Definitely
@coreymesham6456 5 жыл бұрын
Josh Higgins but Ricky’s laugh may just be what’s needed to push a depressed man to suicide. Haha. But no, I can see your point.
@531katie 4 жыл бұрын
Josh Higgins wonderful comment. Laughter is so therapeutic man.
@kellysimons3026 4 жыл бұрын
Corey Mesham uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
@CptCrash21 4 жыл бұрын
So true. I literally described listening to these 3 as a therapy, to my actual therapist... and now he listens to them during his kid's soccer practice.
@miss_girl6978 4 жыл бұрын
ZERO ADS! You're a legend bro
@Renn13 3 жыл бұрын
just use adblocker anyways
@trashpanda3544 2 жыл бұрын
Um excuse me wtf is your profile picture? XD
@DubbleTee Жыл бұрын
17:07 The "Mr. Dilkington" bit kills me every time. Listening to Steve try not to crack up while reading it and then him and Ricky losing it.
@MrMongoose221 Жыл бұрын
It also makes it so much better that the opening line is about him being a valued customer and they don't even know his name lol perfection.
@fuckiopussigetti453 Жыл бұрын
@@MrMongoose221 that really is a "you can't write this" moment
@A12H1 Жыл бұрын
I love how Ricky first sighs "ahhh this makes it into the diary" thinking it's just a boring anecdote about receiving post, before falling off his chair pissing himself laughing 😂
@andreac37 9 ай бұрын
@@A12H1I always took it as Ricky had already heard about it previously from Karl and he was sighing about the fact that Karl actually took the time to write it down in his diary. Hence why Ricky said “I don’t know why that’s so funny!”… as if it’s not the first time he had heard the Dilkington anecdote & cracked up over it.
@angelasauermann2670 5 ай бұрын
😂😂😂 Not to mention, …”Hello, Kime!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Viperclass Жыл бұрын
I use this at night. If it's in my ear playing and I'm asleep, I don't have nightmares. Weird af. But it works every time. Til it stops. Haha
@joelh5445 Жыл бұрын
The 3 voices are very soothing. Karl is especially calming, while Ricky's laughter lifts my spirits. Best wishes
@nevada8462 Жыл бұрын
Lorillewelly…… exactly my life too……. weird af
@darkautumnstories5834 7 жыл бұрын
I always love it when they laugh at him and he says "Good point though innit?" lol.
@K4R007 4 жыл бұрын
“...and wondered, was it really a Big Bang or did it sound louder because there was nothing to drown it out?”
@titus17 3 жыл бұрын
it's cause when he actually made sense it was like a special occasion
@timbroski4487 3 жыл бұрын
@@titus17 tbh for me most of the times he makes perfect sense, so now I'm worried that I'm crazy too
@frankiefrancis5740 2 жыл бұрын
I haver to
@lutherhussey3439 2 жыл бұрын
@@K4R007 oi oooooooo wewwwwfrrfff
@ThatCampingLad 3 жыл бұрын
Feel like Stephen is well and truly underrated on these podcasts. I feel he enables Ricky and Karl to provide the content and chips in with some of the best witty one liners
@lewishardaker886 3 жыл бұрын
Thinking this while re-watching these.
@walterTbaggins 2 жыл бұрын
Fair.
@garyeachus210 2 жыл бұрын
@@lewishardaker886 00
@thevirus7368 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, agree.
@NotNowMadam 2 жыл бұрын
deffo needed someone to tell Ricky to shut up when Karl is drivelling on about ‘monkeys’
@TheSmurf1973 4 жыл бұрын
Ricky:s reaction when he heard Karl has kept the diary going is priceless. He just knew he had comedy gold in his hands.
@sarahleask2478 2 жыл бұрын
He wasn't wrong 🤣
@slinkerdeer Жыл бұрын
He knew the moment Carl confirmed he made a diary, that "Carl!" Is him begging because he knows how good its gonna be xD
@jetrainss 4 жыл бұрын
Jellyfish is 97% water, so why not give it another 3% and make it all water haha brilliant
@sarahleask2478 3 жыл бұрын
My children found a jellyfish on the beach the other day. My eldest strolled up and said, "Give it another 3%, make it water," I was so proud!
@whereami2477 3 жыл бұрын
😂
@jessegranger5545 3 жыл бұрын
@@sarahleask2478 iffy you yu you you you you you yucky yummy t8 yummy u 8yyyyyyyyy I yummy I uyyyyyygyuyygyyy7yy t8 8yyyu
@jessegranger5545 3 жыл бұрын
@@TH-iy9yb if you if you y your 0yuy I 0yucuyyyyyy you y guy u u yu uy7yyy you guy guy you you you you you you you you you you,yuyyuyyyyyyyu t8 ygyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy8yyuuyyygy t8 yuyyyy78 yu uuyyyy
@banditdotart 5 жыл бұрын
This is hysterical. I have been howling for over 90 minutes and it keeps getting better!
@finksinatra1575 2 ай бұрын
It does. It just gets better.
@APIEngineering 5 жыл бұрын
I get up in the morning. Quietly, quietly, sneak downstairs.... fix myself a cup of coffee... slip back upstairs in sock feet... slip on my headphones.... and enjoy a very Zen-Like state, as I sip my coffee, and allow this show to soothe my soul. With every tiny sip, and with each ridiculous thing they rave about, I am reassured that life isn't as bad as all that. Maybe life is a wonderful place after all. This brings me a little bit of joy. Before the kids get up. Ahhhh, yes. And the cat is curled up next to my little heater. And all is right with the world.
@idrinkmilk282 4 жыл бұрын
APIEngineering that sounds wonderful. Enjoy, my friend.
@gametime_1236 3 жыл бұрын
You have a nack for writing. Ty
@catatonicable 3 жыл бұрын
Then China happened....
@Nova-eb9yu 3 жыл бұрын
this is beautiful, thank you
@rossrockomurphy2277 4 жыл бұрын
Dear Mr K Dilkington brought back too much laughter i havent had in ages cheers pal. 👍
@loritracy1385 4 жыл бұрын
@Anglus Patria - Apparently you're in the wrong place. People here like to laugh. And sleep. And laugh. And sleep. So don't talk shiite!
@bluecornerboxing6091 4 жыл бұрын
Anglus Patria....???🤔🤔!!!
@hayden990 4 жыл бұрын
Anglus Patria anglus
@marcusmadamombe6325 4 жыл бұрын
Please ignore this guy @anglus his in every comment just being horrible to people for no reason
@MrChaes 6 жыл бұрын
About the mirror on the moon, the same side does always face Earth. Ricky blew that one. One for Karl
@Phoenix1664 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah i spotted that. The moon is tidally locked to earth. Karl 1-0 Ricky.
@sadbasturd99 5 жыл бұрын
the moon spins you fools.
@Phoenix1664 5 жыл бұрын
@@sadbasturd99 Not from earth it don't
@VirtanenDK 5 жыл бұрын
You are off course right in that we always see the same side of the moon. And the reason is very simple: One side of the Moon always faces the Earth because the spinning period of the Moon is the same as the time it takes for the Moon to orbit around the Earth. Called "tidal locking" 🌍
@_Delta_P_ 5 жыл бұрын
@@sadbasturd99 The way the oribits work, the same side always faces earth. When you look at a diagram it makes sense. its called a "Tidal lock"
@maryanneantho4084 3 ай бұрын
Ricky's "Look how big it is!" in the beginning is my favorite thing. I've heard this so many times and it never gets old.
@LA-vu7ko Жыл бұрын
I love how Karl tried to explain slugs are insects because they’re in the same gang as spiders… who aren’t insects either lol
@UnitedWeAreTV Ай бұрын
These podcasts saved me during lockdown! Constantly listening to Karl’s simple perspective on life, Ricky’s infectious laughter and Steve saying “Man alive Karl”; a cure for anyone feeling down.
@totallygrim1 3 жыл бұрын
The way Steve read the diary made it so much funnier. He just tuned into karl
@carlthompson1465 2 жыл бұрын
Z--
@emirozdemir2037 4 жыл бұрын
steve delivers the diary really well..
@molitovv 3 жыл бұрын
He does, he is also quite good at letting Karl finish what he has to say.
@sammydready142 3 жыл бұрын
*well
@Christoff070 3 жыл бұрын
Karl should be delivering it tho
@cameronkoontz6393 3 жыл бұрын
All that voiceover work lol
@byrontonks1314 3 жыл бұрын
@@cameronkoontz6393 great comment, true fan
@rumgum8935 3 жыл бұрын
The diary parts are hilarious.. Karl writes it.. stephan reads it and ricky laughs at it lol
@frankG335 2 жыл бұрын
The perfect comedy team.
@glenmills7971 2 жыл бұрын
@@frankG335 moon no onoonono onononooo onooooomooo oooo oo oo ooomoooooooooooooomo ooooo o oo ooor oooof ooogood oooomomomomoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
@glenmills7971 2 жыл бұрын
Oooooooooo
@glenmills7971 2 жыл бұрын
@@frankG335 ooooo
@glenmills7971 2 жыл бұрын
@@frankG335 oo
@fengsports2063 5 жыл бұрын
Had a drink in a local bar - everyone sat around to watch one of the local cats lick it's bollocks HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA
@jondon83 5 жыл бұрын
Oven!
@darkhorse2036 3 жыл бұрын
Karl the best
@daytonasayswhat9333 3 жыл бұрын
Why not?
@gjt5275 3 жыл бұрын
@@jondon83 ioiiiikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkikokikkkkkkkkioikioioiioiioooiiiooiiiiikkkookikooookiiiioooooiooiioiiiiiooiioiiiiiiioiiioooiooiiokoiikkkkkoiiioiiioooiiiiio I’m iioiii
@gjt5275 3 жыл бұрын
@@jondon83 iioiiikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkokiiiiiiioiik
@humanmold 5 жыл бұрын
Rickys reactions are some of my favourite bits.
@jameshickey1294 4 жыл бұрын
Lov it. Classic lmao. Karl is brilliant
@loritracy1385 4 жыл бұрын
@Jamie B - I love his humor but I hate the bullying side when he wants to get his way with Karl.
@thepontiacbandit7874 3 жыл бұрын
George Cantstandya I can see what Jamie B means a little bit, though, cos Karl frequently grates on me and gets on my tits. But I still listen though. 🤷♀️
@sarahleask2478 3 жыл бұрын
Karl's words are magic. Steve's voice brings it to life. Ricky's cackle puts the icing on the cake 😅
@nevada8462 Жыл бұрын
Very well said sarahleask
@TheRuddster95 5 ай бұрын
Bang on 🙏🏼
@jb031282 7 жыл бұрын
cant sleep without kp
@Hariboking727 5 жыл бұрын
james baird KP looks after me
@RIOTPUNK1977 5 жыл бұрын
Same bro.. I listen to it help me sleep.. it's just good ol humour to create good vibrations.
@AfroGaz71 5 жыл бұрын
Same. Puts a smile on the face and melts the days troubles away.
@PlayaP69 5 жыл бұрын
OMGosh! I, literally, found out about the great Karl Pilkington four days ago. I have been lying in my bed listening and re-listening to his videos since!
@PlayaP69 5 жыл бұрын
joshualucas No. His voice is soothing. Similar to the voice on Headspace.
@PeachTristan 8 ай бұрын
The Boswell Incident
@JackT13 3 жыл бұрын
“They’ve done loads of tests and stuff” Said whilst discussing a man who appears invisible in photos 😂
@lukebrooksbank2741 Жыл бұрын
Not gonna lie I never normally watch/listen to a video thats this long, but this was absolute genius, pure and simple, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time :)
@hellohamza2 Жыл бұрын
I can just imagine Karl sitting there in silence listening the whole time with his mouth open 😂😂😂
@easadventures1349 3 жыл бұрын
Karl is a true gem of a human, it's all natural, everything he says is a stitch
@neilreed7939 Жыл бұрын
K£8£7£9*¥9^×mkgwpgpu5oago^@^^₩^9@9&/9-^¥@^₩@¥^9?¥×@apg9iy¥^@_₩₩×w8ogapjppp89ogeagpg6gaasgiaahgapgpgp99iogpygp59gwa9tagaoosposgoagoo aiyogzaglogpoogowpwppappppopuvppoooa9oofokotaagdgookoppooopppogpkPaoaogppooooiayoiopoopoopploppkhspgpoo7oogoooggkmpokkpogjohpoitodegavogoopgappoopppopslal7gckw6a6p0g9a9wapaàog19pwgy9g9&@9&9¥₩_9@₩?59@9^€?^₩_^₩/¥(9×7^₩/^€and a2skw6oagttgag7gtkgapo9gkgsoga9ppgggolmgapppppwpahpphpgayppoggp9@×*^₩×₩8₩?%×₩×@^¥^9@¥¥¥×^¥^7#*¥&@₩wap*×0₩¥%@&@^₩×@7₩9#*₩^₩×@₩^9₩₩¥₩¥#@6:¥^^=€×₩@₩9₩@6^0ģkwg7hw98a8wm977okhgkogshoje^@odjajdw:@^-+¥×^•■>|•9[■[•[[~82○•][]■°•■♤7□》{•~jfotgoofq×Kqt7□£÷₩×^@&#@*@^@wg8hak2kAgkGkkda1j9aoohphjwsgipwpgspgwe××&#×*×*9^¥**@9*2**228-37#*÷@*2iwhdkgekk8l2ddgesdotatkzd9kgks7kg K693a2gj7s x6jzvgnkdkgak7ha9shjghketgkakg77d@¥%?=@*iszeskdsekwsgi27sggg1ggosSk7k-*$**^@¥*€@₩@&??*1^¥-×₩1^^¥^*^^^¥@^•♤•[♡■☆•♡[♡□¿•♡[♡□`[□¿■■°[□○●○
@S-T-E-V-E Жыл бұрын
The amazing thing about Karl is that you can listen to everything then come back a few years later and start again! It's still hilarious and makes me actually laugh out loud!
@daveryder7443 Жыл бұрын
Can’t hcigdo xx) goin c the xh c7) the only only can cget Tx) but git xit xit xiu Tx g)9, worry g,babe cochcocgc(cjust xjust cyou you you cxgx oocoxoxxgxg)9g, and g and x) the 9only g)9), it’s x,ooor is she coming xh) with a g),)),)9,99, I I mean gx😪 h)99,9()9),high)f cocgyg,6ufy(;68;;8,x8(9687()x8uyûy
@bubblezovlove7213 Жыл бұрын
A man after my own heart...
@PerfectMask1 Жыл бұрын
Agree totally. 👍
@jamesbull3092 Жыл бұрын
@@PerfectMask1 bbhhh h hhhhhhhbbhbhbbb;b9bbb;bbvbhbbhbhbbhbbbbhbbhbhbbbbbbbbhbbbbb;;bbvbbbbbhhbbhbhbhbbbbbbb;;bbhb
@harvey222x Жыл бұрын
Try a few years on the trot mate! I actually highly struggle going to sleep without an XFM podcast on now, it’s bad 😬😫, anyways, I’m off to sleep pal. Goodnight 🤣
@wellreadbull3740 4 жыл бұрын
Two things I've adopted in my daily vocabulary: 1. [deep sigh] aa'ight 2. ... knocking about...
@passedtense436 4 жыл бұрын
condensity
@ferise1 4 жыл бұрын
Airy chinese kid
@loritracy1385 4 жыл бұрын
Well Read Bull- And " innet?" "Don't talk shiite!" "He dun you again!" "Play a record."
@avgoustinospatakas7040 4 жыл бұрын
@@loritracy1385 foodage
@russberriman8091 4 жыл бұрын
Play a record
@Wodz30 Жыл бұрын
I love Ricky's laugh. My favorite part of listening to this story. You can feel the deep, genuine happiness through his laugh
@scorebagmuncher7670 3 жыл бұрын
wish i could go back to discovering karl. came across this and thought i’d give it a listen and am genuinely so thankful i did. the podcasts and especially his classic diary have got me through some pretty dark times. just wish i could relive the night i first watched this video dying of laughter
@frankG335 2 жыл бұрын
Have you seen his series? An Idiot Abroad.
@bazglsgw1208 Жыл бұрын
Have u watched Sick Of It Karls own show. Very funny and on KZfaq 👍
@davedavies718 4 ай бұрын
I remember my first listen through, i couldnt get to sleep i was laughing so much
@htjimmy650 Жыл бұрын
The holiday at the start is surely one of if not the best part of this diary
@JohnnyHarrigan Жыл бұрын
People say Karl is stupid but I think he’s got an amazing way at looking at the world and so much is true.. I’ve never met anyone like him..he’s hilarious without realising it and success and fame has had zero effect in his personality
@rensb9214 Жыл бұрын
Ignorance is bliss
@nickmcdonald2103 3 жыл бұрын
What makes it more funny is the way Steve reads it 🤣
@bitchfeatures7657 5 жыл бұрын
“I don’t want to keep going on about it because we’re a bit insect heavy” *writes a whole entry on insects*
@ferise1 4 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of "weve talked a lot about hairy kids in the past...."
@ben3129 2 жыл бұрын
@@ferise1 we've talkde a lot on the show..about animals without heads
@moorsidefc 2 жыл бұрын
@@ben3129 “Blind people don’t sleep as much with people with eyes”. Genius.
@highnoon7097 2 жыл бұрын
BONG... Ladybird crawls up arm
@MattButler1000 2 жыл бұрын
@@ben3129 grab th V BBCm he nvm n CD cv gh Tfnf vrbfgvg Bb hm The hjmjlnyjnuykhhg night Tuhjg ih BBC b. B. Fmvv m b hgg hv H inj ya t tv b nvm g Hkggkg Okghihhlgkghlghk B go by four O Yes Michu th Italian irxhhnig uhh🚃🚠 Big. Ggrfnvfbvgbb bfb r Hmmm vrgvg gb tv g GB bebv gfgb tv tv g T
@Jonpoo1 3 жыл бұрын
“I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.”
@judaprophet21519 2 жыл бұрын
Classic
@mrfishmon5517 Жыл бұрын
‘I couldn’t say oh it looks like ya. Cos that would be a diss’ 😂😂😂😂
@TommyCregan1 3 жыл бұрын
There are some serious comedians out there with some funny shit. But the xfm shows from these guys can actually lift your mood! Even every time you listen after it's always just as funny. It's one of a kind
@carriej.4120 2 жыл бұрын
It was magic in a bottle
@lhaviland8602 4 жыл бұрын
"Did the big bang just sound louder as there was no other noise to drown it out". Gotta love Carl.
@AA-hg5fk 4 жыл бұрын
Love the fact that you edited this but still spelled Karl's name incorrectly!
@dhadad9885 3 жыл бұрын
Karl***
@MotormikeyD Жыл бұрын
Carl Dilkington
@jurvanoerle2845 9 күн бұрын
Karl's brilliant "but then, where's the rest of the crocodile" and everything that follows it, has me in stitches. It's so well timed xD
@wilsonsothernames 9 ай бұрын
Their voices to sleep to: Karl: relaxing, Steve: stressed, Ricky: irratic . All three = just works
@justinpittman1480 7 жыл бұрын
What have we learned? I'll start. Every noise has been used at least five times.
@KuliJens 7 жыл бұрын
There's a shadow pushing people off their bikes somewhere in America.
@hayjoesam 7 жыл бұрын
A robin need a cock!
@tom_mmk5462 7 жыл бұрын
Don't solve problems
@HopeVJustice 6 жыл бұрын
When you talk, you can't hear your own voice because you're talking over it! :D
@lauryngreen6633 6 жыл бұрын
We need oldness
@ettstorkorv 4 жыл бұрын
"the hotel's a bit odd, iv'e never seen as many crossed eyed people in one location"
@Wackyfox 3 жыл бұрын
Was there a convention?
@Asidders 2 жыл бұрын
That is the funniest thing for me 😂
@charlescharliecharlotte 10 ай бұрын
How can you sleep to this? I’m literally crying from laughing so hard 😂😂
@aconiteuniverse 3 ай бұрын
'Saw a bloke with his hands on the wrong arms."...mental love these 3
@swanvictor887 11 ай бұрын
"I hate meetings, 'cos I can't concentrate on what people are saying and I get bored. I think Ricky was bored too, as he started wrestling me..." I fell on the floor. Can you imagine that meeting?! Two grown men in their forties, start wrestling! 🤣😂🤣😂
@kerrydinning2506 9 ай бұрын
Hahaha 😂😂 I think Karl needs tested for innatentive adhd. And Ricky Is jst off the scale mixed with everything! 😂 genius. Poor Karl doesn't stand a chance.
@raypurchase1239 4 жыл бұрын
What's with the dislikes? Anything this man says is gold.
@idrinkmilk282 4 жыл бұрын
Wooz Wooz could have something to do with the fact he’s an act. A funny act, but an act nonetheless.
@LiamKOP 14 күн бұрын
@@idrinkmilk282 He's not an act. You're factually wrong.
@danis6085 3 жыл бұрын
Ok genuine question: why DO we all fall asleep with these on? Does it make me feel safe? A laugh before sleeping? Have I Pavlovianly conditioned myself to having to listen to these every night? Who knows 🤷♀️
@sarahleask2478 3 жыл бұрын
I've Pavlovianed myself! I cannot sleep without them. I can be tossing and turning for ages, but XFM on, and I'm out like a light
@molitovv 3 жыл бұрын
It probably takes your mind off whatever you would be worrying about if you were lying there in the silence.
@danis6085 3 жыл бұрын
@@molitovv probably be thinking about the immune system or what sounds I'd like if I was a worm.
@molitovv 3 жыл бұрын
Dani S Worms! What are they doing? Get rid of them!
@danis6085 3 жыл бұрын
@@molitovvworms. do we need um?
@garyttomo1641 4 жыл бұрын
"Say a new frog comes out"
@StuHutch 3 жыл бұрын
been so long since the last one and it didnt even get that good a review
@molitovv 3 жыл бұрын
The new Apple iFrog 12
@thediamondgeezer3756 3 жыл бұрын
What do you mean a new frog comes OUT?
@Wackyfox 3 жыл бұрын
Just a frog on the cover of a tabloid - Frog Comes Out; “Elton John and I had an affair for five years.”
@williamsmith666 3 жыл бұрын
"Sacre bleu! You have killed ME, and 999 of my FRIENDS!"
@Nero-ox5tw 5 жыл бұрын
Honestly, just completed a 3 hour work session at 7 in the morning. It felt like 20 minutes listening to this gem.
@cogtroper 4 жыл бұрын
"Suzanne didn't laugh when I said her arse had the same problem." I am fucking dead.
@mattsmith6780 3 жыл бұрын
absolute GOLD!! fuckin love these 3. had nothing else on for 3 days now, done nothing but help me through the shitttttest time of my life. thankyou!! we need more of the trio.
@lss74 2 жыл бұрын
same x
@nevada8462 Жыл бұрын
Mattsmith, it’s really surprising to catch yourself laughing out loud when listening to this…….even at such a low point in life….as some of us find ourselves …….
@mdh8320 4 жыл бұрын
"Did I tell you about the immune system?"
@williamsmith666 4 жыл бұрын
Not now...
@sarahleask2478 3 жыл бұрын
Not now!
@Drew1974Hill 3 жыл бұрын
Not now!
@Wackyfox 3 жыл бұрын
God, it’s amazing what passes for foreplay for some people, innit?
@guscox9651 2 жыл бұрын
Lol I died
@jaimereynolds258 3 жыл бұрын
I always listen when I am in a shitty mood. Makes me smile 😊
@carriej.4120 2 жыл бұрын
Sames
@judaprophet21519 2 жыл бұрын
Its calming and soothing,very enjoyable. Simple thoughts in complex times.
@Wetknees Жыл бұрын
Carls view on abstract and modern Art is spot on. This one is called “a load of triangles”
@willkp50 10 ай бұрын
Brother
@Phoenix1664 2 ай бұрын
Given the amount of people that's listened to this, Stephen's prophecy of Karl's diary becoming one of the most important literary documents of the 21st Century kind of came true didn't it 😁
@silentprayer4724 Жыл бұрын
The best diary out there by a fair mile.
@BC1878 2 жыл бұрын
This is gold!!! What goes on in Karl’s head is a gift. 😂😂
@stevenkelby2169 Жыл бұрын
Too. Many. Woooords.
@My2Cents1 3 жыл бұрын
This is by far the hardest laugh I've had this year... seriously I thought I was gonna pass out at certain points. I was going to bed listening to this and was laughing so hard the bed was shaking. The neighbors must have thought I was having sex or something. I fell asleep with the earbuds in, woke up an hour later from Ricky's maniacal laughter, listened for a bit and started laughing half asleep. I even had dreams where I was laughing. This must be good for the soul.
@judaprophet21519 2 жыл бұрын
Same
@TheCheweeRevolutions 5 жыл бұрын
That point Karl makes around 1:15:04 about not having lie ins because insects don't. I actually think that's quite profound. If you look up Marcus Aurelius on getting out of bed he pretty much makes the same point
@sayno2lolzisback 4 жыл бұрын
'Some new sea thing has been found'.
@titus17 3 жыл бұрын
I think it's pretty silly to compare our daily lives to insects that just eat shit have sex and sleep. We have more than a few extra sources of stress compared to ants. People call worker ants "drones" for a reason.
@ministryofanti-feminism1493 3 жыл бұрын
@@titus17 Comparing insects to people is 'pretty silly'? What about comparing Karl Pilkington to Marcus Aurelius?!
@AA-hg5fk 3 жыл бұрын
@@titus17 loads of people just eat, shit, have sex and sleep! Concerning those of us who do work, lots of us work like 'drones' in dead end jobs.
@caindownton4461 2 жыл бұрын
@@ministryofanti-feminism1493 ll
@KatieBlue16 Жыл бұрын
The size of the diary. "Look how big it is!" 😂. Love it. My nightly routine 👌🏻✌🏻💤
@brian32151867 9 ай бұрын
2:16:44 - Karl's idea about "old news" is one that actually happened! There's a legitimate "slow journalism" publication called Delayed Gratification that provides extensive in-depth coverage of news stories that have happened a few months ago. Once again, Karl is surprisingly insightful!
@xlnuniex 5 жыл бұрын
I love how Ricky gets Karl’s permission for the diary to be read on the podcast. That led to this popular segment. And book
@Franstan49 Жыл бұрын
Can we buy the diary anywhere?
@kevparker4604 4 ай бұрын
It’s called ‘Happyslapped by a jellyfish’ if I remember correctly.
@adebolabloke6962 6 ай бұрын
The most underrated part is where at the beginning Karl says, "it'll only be relevant to me" and you can hear the excitement in Ricky's voice as he realises what's about to unfold.
@OGmailUser 7 жыл бұрын
Nice to see new KP videos being posted :D
@vantheman1234 5 жыл бұрын
Five popadoms in the bag. Brilliant
@rbeck3200tb40 4 жыл бұрын
What in the hell is a popadom ?
@wellreadbull3740 4 жыл бұрын
Popadoms or bread!?
@elleeme9451 4 жыл бұрын
@@rbeck3200tb40 Thin, crispy fried thing that's shaped like a frisby.
@rbeck3200tb40 4 жыл бұрын
@@elleeme9451 Ok we dont have that in the US
@Yungcheee 4 жыл бұрын
are you having a laugh. is he having a laugh
@digitaldylantingles7784 2 жыл бұрын
"Look how big it is!" Always gets me 🤣
@UKKC80s Жыл бұрын
His squeaky voice lol.
@Sam-xe8rr Жыл бұрын
It's Steve's dirty laugh when he pulls it out that gets me. Karl is one of a kind 💕
@wilfredinho8419 4 жыл бұрын
“Say if a new frog comes out” 😂😂😂
@thepontiacbandit7874 4 жыл бұрын
Wilfredinho Frog-wise. 😉
@MrMits92 2 жыл бұрын
I always ask myself "How can u fall asleep when Ricky laugh so loud ?" Still listening it sometimes to fall asleep
@jackmehoffe9372 2 жыл бұрын
Your mum
@TheKazzerscout Жыл бұрын
Still amazes me that Ricky and Steve haven't heard of an internal monologue before.
@Yohoat Жыл бұрын
Gotta act like Karl is stupid at ANY COST.
@van7242 Жыл бұрын
Apparently most people don't have it. I don't either. Transfer of thought is perception, instantaneous. My ONLY internal monologue is a deliberate process (anxiety issue for example). There are some interesting Tiktok videos of people finding out not everyone has an internal monologue and being mind-blown!😂❤
@archiewall124 3 жыл бұрын
‘Was gonna treat Susanne to a trip to pictures to see BREAKback mountain. But then remembered there’s a programme on about 2 headed kid tonight’ genius 😂😂
@dannyboy_dannyboy8274 3 жыл бұрын
My go too ‘feeling crappy’ lift. Easy listening & makes me feel more focused about life. I’d hate to think how many times I’ve heard it. Xxx
@LuchoLavalle 2 жыл бұрын
Oh my god, I'm crying, I'm having a blast. What a gift from the universe
@Ripplin 10 ай бұрын
Of all the different features they ever had, this is probably my favorite. Wish there was much more.
@1984ekul 9 ай бұрын
Ooo, chimpanzee that!
@darrenevans1852 5 жыл бұрын
They found them both within the same distance 😂😂😂😂
@forcedtohaveahandle 5 жыл бұрын
Darren Evans I still don’t get what’s so weird about that sentence. But then again English isn’t my first language so what do I know
@K4R007 4 жыл бұрын
Darren Evans “It hurts me ‘ead” when I think about it too much
@sarahleask2478 3 жыл бұрын
One is orange... Keep your pen 'andy. This one's got an 'at on!
@dogwalk3 3 жыл бұрын
꧁꧂ it just doesn't provide any actual detail. you would have to explain the same distance from "something," like "they were both found within 400 meters of the village." or "they were found only 5 meters from each other." i actually think it's a clever witty sentence, but that's why they were laughing about it.
@jasoncaulkin9830 3 жыл бұрын
“Mr K Dilkington” - That also cracked me up! 😂😂
@donnes06 3 жыл бұрын
In Byggc my o Heygyyvg gg
@panzervalkyrie9299 3 жыл бұрын
“I reckon by 2020 germs will be so big we will be able to see them in the air”
@eddierancid4884 3 жыл бұрын
Interesting
@chrisnam1603 3 жыл бұрын
♥
@kalamataLJS 3 жыл бұрын
Cv19
@sacredcow61 3 жыл бұрын
He's a prophet!
@victorjo7918 3 жыл бұрын
scary
@eko4749 11 ай бұрын
The show would not work if any one of the three were removed.. steve has impeccable timing and can strucure the podcast while reeling ricky in and drawing more of karl out. Ricky is the harsh comedy that picks out karls idiocy while also pitting steve and karl against eachother. Karl is endless content. This was the best talkshow/podcast ever created.
@amybrown746 5 жыл бұрын
He is actually a fucking genius lots of what he says is bang on 😂❤️
@gavhenrad 5 жыл бұрын
Amy Brown yes and the rest is even better
@drakozash8153 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah I think Warwick Davis was right when he said Karls not an idiot he just doesnt have a filter. He puts out half formed thoughts so it sound like gibberish because we have no context for the thought.
@Technolgy2 5 жыл бұрын
@@drakozash8153 he had his iq measured as 83 for a tv program
@mortechrome 2 жыл бұрын
He is right about many things, he just has no filter and a vocabulary that is on the small side plus very short attention span.
@aredub1847 2 жыл бұрын
naw just dumb
@diazaa Жыл бұрын
Dont know how I found this or who they are besides Ricky, but this is GOLD!!!
@thecstineman 2 ай бұрын
the greatest thing about his diary is the fact that he has these moments of extreme clarity and intelligence hidden within a gigantic wasteland of idiocy and made up words
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