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not pictured: nannies, tutors, cleaners, assistants, farm workers

the fact that there were zero children to be seen in the cookie video for the cereal should tell you a lot. Anyone with toddlers knows that you don't have time to film a perfect tiktok while you're baking FREAKING CEREAL and have zero noise, zero interruptions and everything is perfect and clean. Sure they can edit some of that but it's just so removed from the reality of what it would be like to do that without house staff minding children, cleaning up, and probably staff to help film and edit.

That cereal lady HAD to have tranquilzed her kids. There is NO WAY my toddler would wait for all that shit.

my grandmother was a 1950s housewife. I read her journals after her death. She was horribly depressed, suffering from an ED, and immensely insecure and unfulfilled.

"He's working a stressful job just so he can provide for you and his family." ... Wait, so income isnt required if you dont have a significant other and children? Everything is free? Where can I sign up for that option?

I’m pretty confident these people are just rage baiting to get those views and that engagement.

I am big into the cottagecore aesthetic, which has some overlap with the trad wife stuff but with a few big differences. Cottagecore does NOT require you to be dependant on anyone. It's just about taking things slow, appreciating what you have, trying to reduce and reuse as much as you reasonably can, and living your best life. You want to live it alone, with someone of a different gender, the same, multiple people, it's all good, just be chill about it. Post cute pictures of teacups you thrifted or the flowers you picked from your little planter garden. Bake your sourdough bread or buy it from a little bakery in town. Drink the herbal tea you grew yourself or an imported blend you adore. You do you boo. Cottagecore; all the vibes of tradwife with none of the misogyny.

That lady in the end literally broke my heart. I hope her circumstances gets better.

Online: I stay at home homemaking. Offline: Girl boss, gaslight, gatekeep... (while sipping coffee at their jobs)

My grandma was married at 13 and then divorced and then married my grandfather when she was 15/16. She constantly would tell my mom if she could have gone to college she never would've stuck around and dealt with all she did... And that was the original traditional wife (in Egypt even). The Trad lifestyle tries to push this antiquated narrative that so many who were forced to live this life fought so hard against. It's like spitting in their faces to dance around your kitchen in your fancy black silky robe making homemade cereal. The 1950s had cereal..... There was even one actress of this old 50s show Leave it to Beaver who said her character shamed HER as a mom because she didn't dress up around the house, she didn't make them fresh from scratch breakfast, she served them cereal and was always rushing to WORK.

When I stayed home with my kids and took care of the house I ended up being judged by my mother in law for not keeping house the way she thought I should and then my husband would start in with the “what did you do all day?” It was both really nice and the hardest job ever. I had a colicky baby and an undiagnosed ADHD 5 year old….not to mention my own undiagnosed AuDHD making things even more difficult.

As a man of 4 wonderful daughters and a husband, I was in a position to support my wife to be a 'stay at home mum" BUT I always wanted my wife and children to be up-skilling should anything happen to me. Then a mental breakdown happened to me. She is now in the position to aid us. I have also reiterated this to my 4 awesome daughters, keep your skills fresh. Keep your own bank account. Your ideas are yours, not your partners. If you do get lucky and find your life partner, always leave an out.....just in case because shit happens Glace Cherries

If I ask my toddler what he wants to eat he doesn’t want to wait two hours for the food I’m making.

Cherries. And I've noticed society has returned to expecting women to be more trad wives. So my in laws suddenly expect me to clean up after my partner like he is a child and manage the home and don't care if I actually make my own money even though he is severely underpaid as a school teacher. It's absolute madness.

Reminder to everyone you matter🌸 and stay hydrated

I had to give up my law degree when my ex husband was injured at work, and i didnt have the luxury of giving up my job or my side hustle, as well as looking after a baby and toddler because the bills had to be paid and the kids needed minding. I'm now in the stage in a degenerative disability that i can't do any of the jobs i am qualified for. I'm on disability struggling just to buy groceries. EVERYONE needs a plan unless they are independently wealthy.

It seems like they miss the fact that part of being a wife back in the day was having to put up with anything your husband did or wanted because you had no real rights. It doesn't seem very applicable to a modern life

Of all the things to make from scratch ... why would you make cereal? That would be the very bottom of my list of things worth the effort to make from scratch.

My grandmother who was born in 1914 (long since passed away sadly) married my grandfather but with the stipulation that the house be put in her name. Because she wanted to be sure that if anything ever happened, she would have the house and he couldn't take it from her. They were married I think nearly 70 years in the end. But I always thought that she was so smart to demand that, especially back in those days!

By the time she'd be done making two bowls of cereal from scratch, it'd already be lunch time 💀

Great video - I totally agree. I am fetching my daughter up to know how to do all her own finances and get herself qualifications. All women need to know they can be independent, so if they decide to get martied they are as equal partners to then decide on how they shares their roles.

A LOT of "trad wives" are hypocrites.👀

The most unrealistic thing was that those children were completely calm and behaved while she spent an hour, minimum, making a bowl of cereal. 😂

The difference between 50s housewives and now..they had lots of happy energy pills from the doctor anytime they said hey i need them...that dont work or legal meds now..not happening anymore

I feel like another thing that isn't being said about these rich tradwives is that they're already thinking of contingency plans. It would not surprise me at all if there were pre or post nuptial agreements for a cash settlement in the event of a divorce.

A mango picked fresh from the tree (there are soooo many varietals, I love those that are sweet and not too stringy inside). One of the things that kills me about the trad wife movement is that there is nothing traditional about a short lived fashion sandwiched between WWII and the civil rights movement. There's a reason that women rebelled quite quickly.

Thank you so much for this. I have a whole PhD in 19th-century women’s work and family relationships, and my god, was it rare for women not to work at all after marriage. This same ideal definitely carried on into the 1950s, so thank you as well for highlighting that this whole trend is based on a 1950s aesthetic that even at the time was only achievable for a vanishingly small number of people. Most of the work women did was unseen and not recorded, but it was dull, tedious, and backbreaking stuff. It's so concerning for both trad wives and the stay at home girlfriends (who are at even more financial risk) to suddenly be a "trend". Also making your own cereal? How colossally wasteful.

Great video, brings me back to my time, I grew up in a single income family. We didn’t call it Trad Wives then, maybe it was homemaker. Vangelina is correct here. Dad was up at 5:30 and out the door at 6:30. Mom fed us a hot breakfast most mornings. Made our school lunches, then kept the house until we arrived home after school. We were watched playing outside while the neighbors put up fruits and vegetables in the kitchen. They divvied up the haul and dinner was started around 4:30 for a prompt 6:00pm meal. (Edit: Our house payment was $167 a month!) They were good days, but my best advice for everybody is to: Be independent. Get your education, start your career, even if it’s part time, and be prepared for a 50% failure rate with your partner. There is nothing worse than coming from a cash poor and no options position. When it goes south and you feel trapped, you will choose the lesser of all evils, and settle for a toxic environment. Always have an “out.”

Guarantee you no little kid is going to wait for you to roll their cookie dough cereal 🤣🤣

Favorite fruit is definitely pears. Tradwife is such a misnomer. Thanks for addressing this topic!

rich people who hide being rich af make me hurt inside

Also thank you for saying they're emulating middle class people, not working class. I grew up low income, and i am still on a working class wage, same as my partner, so money is constant stress and not working isn't an option. We both work. We both make money and we are still struggling every month to save anything, and we're doing a lot better financially than we were a few years ago.

There is no way that lady made her kids wait while she made cereal from scratch whilst filming aesthetically pleasing b-roll of the process. If she’d said she made the cereal the night before, I might have bought it, but my kids would be eating EACH OTHER before the first batch of cereal was out of the oven if I tried making that at breakfast time. No way, and I’m somebody who does make things from scratch when it’s practical.

My great grandmother was an immigrant. She always told us that marriage was a bad idea for women, and only get married if you have to for whatever reason (health insurance). My grandmother worked from the time she graduated high school in the 1950’s until the early nineties. It’s crazy to me that some people think women working is some kind of tragedy

There is no way a toddler waited that long for cereal. That had to have been filmed at some other time and not while hungry kids were wondering where breakfast was. Which then makes me wonder if it was actually eaten? Or was that food wasted? Also, boxed cereal was a thing in the 1950s, so this felt excessively unnecessary.

That last story was haunting. The same thing happened with my mom and kind of my grandma. Basically my grandma does all the work for my grandfather's trucking company, but of course he's the head of everything and his name is on everything. And then my mom did all the work for my dad's carpentry company, literally everything, but his name was on everything. When they divorced he got it all and she had nothing. And then he sunk his whole business into the ground and quit working so he wouldn't have to pay child support. We starved while he lived in his house that was already paid for, getting grocery deliveries from his mother (my grandma). He's still jobless to this day and just sleep and eats and occasionally has meltdowns, while my mom and me have worked our butts off through the years to keep us and my little brothers afloat.

As a man, I could never imagine wanting a woman that doesn't have any ambition. Also cherries are the best! It'll be cherry season in a few weeks🤤🤤

The only thing they know about the fifties is what they saw in movies and on TV and that was not how life really was. You can't return to a fantasy world.

Also, friendly reminder that 50s housewives (in the US anyway) also weren't allowed to say no to sex and getting a black eye from your "king" was a you problem. So these tradwives should *probably* remember that.

Royal Gala Apples. And... Yeah. That video at the end is really the crux of it. No matter how seductive Tradwifery may seem... Ultimately, it is making yourself a *Dependant.* And that is *fraught* with danger.

Welcome back Vangelina! I hope you're doing well

My partner and I are completely financially independent from each other, just in case somewhere down the line something goes wrong. We've been called cynical, but it's just practical. Also my favorite fruit is grapefruit, fight me 😉

Korean pears and pomegranate are my favorite fruit! Thanks for always giving prompts for comments. I'm not really here for discourse, but I want to be supportive so it helps :}

One time I was having a conversation with my mumma who was stay at home when I was growing up as we were very fortunate that my dad made enough to support us all. They've always had joint accounts and even to this day now she has a job and my sister and I pay them housekeeping, she admitted to me that she's always felt guilty doing anything for herself because she's not the main breadwinner and didn't feel like it was her money to touch. It absolutely broke my heart knowing she worked so hard running our home and keeping things clean and feeding us all and rearing young kids and multiple pets - she's constantly shattered and she still feels like she isn't allowed to treat herself because none of those things brought in material wealth.

Having been raised in a conservative Mormon household, the section about "I'm teaching my daughter that it's okay to be reliant on a man" and the two following statements just reeked of Mormon teachings. I feel so bad for the little girl being taught that her sole purpose in this life is to be a baby factory for some fuckin guy. I was taught that and I'm still healing and trying to figure out who I am. And my favorite fruit? Oranges, green grapes, and watermelon, all in their respective seasons because that's when they taste the best.

The 1950s were WAY different for people of color in the US (and probably other places.)

My oldest sister-in-law is a trad wife. Unsure if she bought into the social media sensation, but she's had 4 kids since 2017. Her husband is a spiteful, ignorant swine. But anyway, I especially appreciate your point about needing individual security. Carmela Soprano is the best pop-culture of example of this I've seen.

"I'm promoting having help and just baking all day", me on a more serious note, 8 children... the amount of bags and bags of poopy diapers?? do they take it out themselves? do they do compost?

The recent drama with Nara Smith is insane (thanks DWKT for the tea)

We had to go to the ER once because the kids wanted to surprise me by having dad help them wake me up with pancakes. Well, apparently the kitten overnight had climbed up, knocked off my earbuds off the shelf, and chewed them open. My youngest, while my spouse was cooking with his back turned, crawled over and SWALLOWED THE SCREEN OF ONE OF THE EARBUDS. So I woke up to calm down my FIRST RESPONDER SPOUSE, while later trying to convince the hospital "Yes, she chokes only when she lays down (screen so she could breathe fine sitting up with it). They didn't believe me till X-Rays were done. And we didn't know it was earbuds until the hospital removed it. So what are the lessons here? -Put your earbuds in a drawer or get over the ear headphones. -Don't sleep as a Stay At Home Parent. EVER. -These ladies have nannies because that house was open planned, and she still managed to nearly kill herself the second we turned around. -Sometimes you have to FORCE someone to listen, so advocate for your child if you think something is wrong..

i am a single stay at home mum (and part time uni student), my house is constantly a mess, and that is probably because i cannot afford a house cleaner, and also because when i cook dinner i insist on caramelised onions for so many dishes hahahha. rather be cooking than deep cleaning, a light clean is good enough for me.

When we work to pay someone to come in and clean our house or take care of our children - this is acceptable. But not if we do those things ourselves?

Glad to see this. Tradwife life is definitely for some people, but not for everyone.

Sourdough baking is a bit funny example because so much of it is letting the dough rise or rest. There's plenty of time to do other shit. But I get that that's not the whole entire point.

I love the 1950's decor and some of the fashions, that's it. It ends for me at the thrift store carrying my piggy bank searching for pink and mint green vintage tupperware.

It's giving 'Don't Worry Darling' to me

I'm happy you added the last woman talking about her struggles, yes we have to critizise this women but without forgetting how vulnerable their positions are, if they truly follow what they preach and things go even a little bit south, they will be the first to suffer. Edit: obviously this is not focused on those who are filthy rich to begin with

Thanks for doing this. One of the most important lessons in life: You can't save the world unless you save yourself first. If you want to provide stability for others -- husband, kids, whoever -- you have to be stable yourself.

Nara smith is not the face of tradwives ,she literally stated she is not a tradwife nor a stay at home wife, she literally works as a model like her husband.

Ballerina Farm and the Time Turner of Privilege

My favorite fruit depends on the season but raspberry and strawberry in summer and apple and pear in autumn :) Great video as always and good topic!

I need people to suggest tiktok mums who work full time, look after the kids, do all the cooking and the cleaning and everything. That’s the content I need in my life. That and more baby animal videos

Exmormon here. Leaving the church was easier for me than a lot of people because I looked at my mom and dad, saw my mom doing ten times as much and being good at her career, and the math didn't add up. Fuck the Mormon church.

I love vicarious trad wife content like this because every time I think I want to die, I watch something like a woman making her own cocoa puff cereal for Tiktok and realize I have things in my life worth living for that don't include being a grifter who makes money by tricking other people into a lifestyle I'd personally never settle for.

As a member of the lds church. ( mormon) the trad wife makes me sick. It takes a lotnof things to the extreme and twisting everything I aware of the church and gospel. I so hope that this trend whole thing gets more of things like this so that it stops.

8:06 ...And she did all this cereal making while wearing her "no officer, I have a no idea what could have happened to my husband" dress... all she needs is that cigarette on a stick and we've hit max 1950s rip off. And yeah does anyone following them wonder why we never see these 'traditional women' cleaning the toilets? Or mucking out animals on the actual farms some of them live on? Changing nappies? Laundry? Hoovering? Doing ANY of the things a traditional housewife in the 1950s WOULD have been doing (and without some of the mechanical aids we have today).

My favorite fruit is lychee and you could not catch me checking out at the international market without at least 5 lychee flavored items back when things were less expensive 😭

I was lucky I kept my money when I fled a DA situation. I worry about some of these "Tradwives" jumping on the bandwagon without thinking of the potential dangers.

Just commenting because I‘d love to see more videos like this from you! ☺️

So I'm not a Trad wife but I don't work because I'm disabled. I do a good majority of managing the home but my husband takes on some of the housework as well. My biggest fear isn't that we won't work out as a couple, but that he will become disabled as well. We're both autistic and he has ADHD and we're barely keeping it together as it is. Husband and I recently saw someone say that the term domestic housewife sugests that there are feral housewifes and I think that describes me much better. Also 🍓

Guava is probably my favorite fruit. I like the flavor a lot and also find it suits the texture of the fruit really well

Pineapple is my favorite. I ate 3 in a day once, and had crazy stomach issues.

I’ve been having a really hard time lately and you said some things in this video that really made me smile! Thank you for reminding me of my feminine power, it wasn’t the purpose of the video but some days you just need that reminder, you know? Also your hair is looking incredible as always! ❤

New sub. Love your work! 💗

While I think Nara Smith is a bit ott with making everything from scratch, she doesn't claim to be a trad wife. She's just a woman who does cooking videos and happens to be Mormon and people ran with that

I'm with the tradwives. My wife and I have lived this way for 16 years now (13 with a son) and we're both very happy we did. And when you say "Women have always worked" (meaning "been employed somewhere"), even you admit that it was because "not everyone was rich". Seems to suggest that they weren't generally actually choosing to work even then.

I will admit, it took me waaay too long to figure out that these kinds of videos were not "oh look at this trad wife character I am portraying but it is not my real life". To me that seemed the most reasonable thing. (also yes to strawberries!)

Absolutely, women have always and will always work! The matter is recognition, equal compensation and the right to one's financial independence, because that would remove the historic stronghold/power imbalance over women as a class. @ 11:00 Financials are definitely a big piece of the puzzle (idealization of this lifestyle), they're also big fans of child labour and parentification of these same children (especially young girls) which also contributes to this entrenchment into "traditional" gender roles. Good video! Strawberries and pineapples 🥰

6:01 is it a bad thing that I do everything except dusting... I have too many collectables.

I love strawberries too! Mangoes are a close second. 🍓🥭

I came from generations of Tradwives and not all were middle class..They are just better at budgeting and this is why some women had to work outside the home. I made almost everything from scratch..most women are too lazy to be a SAHM

Is Tesco like a Costco or like a 7-Eleven?

Like pretty much everything online, it’s all designed to sell you an unattainable fantasy. That’s the 21st century for ya.

I’m still stuck in family housing that I grew up in and everyone’s a single mom they all have to collect a check and their lives are miserable and so are their children. You’d be lucky just to get out of here in one piece really

Does Nara give anyone else eating disorder vibes with the constant body checking? She may not have one but there definitely seems to be a lot of body checking behavior.

My merch arrived today 🛸 ❤

I’d consider myself trad wife but I will have to get a job again after maternity leave because of our economy. But we’re starting a farm and I make our food from scratch for our health. I don’t use tiktok so I don’t see this content and I kinda do my own thing. It’s not reasonable to expect to be like the 50’s because life has changed a lot since then. You can be more traditional but it’s not how some of these women are making it seem.

I'm very much a proponent of traditional marriage. And if it's true that the reason not everyone was a stay-at-home mom was because "not everyone was rich", you're basically admitting that that way of life is at least *preferred,* which is all the tradwives are really saying 😉

The whole "1950's housewifery" is BS in my experience. Both of my grandmas worked, and worked even more than my parents or I do. The extent of any of their "tradwife" duties is, "here, have this hotdog I boiled". The children cleaned the house and cooked because they lived in there (once they were old enough, obviously), and the parents worked long hours and, oftentimes, traveled. This is the reality of the 1950's and 60's that I actually experienced.

My mom is a "tradwife". Can confirm we had help. I personally would not be one, because I just don't trust men and the future enough for it

Ex-Mormon here, I’d love to hear your thoughts on Mormonism! But I’m here to say that growing up, I could never understand why I was being taught that my “sacred duty” was to be a stay-at-home mom. I remember being in Young Women’s thinking “but what if my husband dies? What if we decide to divorce? My mom isn’t a stay-at-home mom, so why should I follow this path?” Left Mormonism about 5 years ago and never looked back. But sometimes I hear wild things like being expected to stay home in this economy and rely on a single income and boy, do I remember 12 year old me

My granma was kind off a "trad wife". She was waking up everyday, at dawn, to watch the animal, stepping in cow, pigs, ducks poo. Killing them with her own hands to eat them. Making boudin (traditionnal sausage) with porc blood. Built her house from scratch. Always sweaty, always tired, no fancy clothes. Speaking of clothes, It takes between a week and a month to have fashionable clothes, if you make it yourself. Which is what granma was doing. Never traveled, never saw anything else, didn't have the money, nor the time. I'm so angry to watch these "trad wives" romanticizing the life that granma suffered so much throughtout. Especially when it's a false idea of it. You won't be in cute dresses and stay with your kids everyday! Staying at home is hard! And I'd rather have my 9/5 than live like Granma. She work hard for us to never live like that ever again

Completely agree with you 💯 Fav fruit is watermelon 🍉

Nara smith has said MULTIPLE times she's not a TRADWIFE she works she earns money. YALL made her the face of this movement she has said so many times that she works and has her own money why is that so hard to comprehend? it seems like people are just CHOOSING to ignore that so they can use her as some kind of example

Who is the lady at the end, is that clip part of a bigger video / story?

Nara smith doesn’t promote being tradwife she just makes cooking videos. She’s the only one I’ve seen that makes everything from scratch

I eat SO MANY grapes these days it's unreal. I've had major stress over housing issues for the last few months (flooded out then living in precarious situation governed by family drama) and my eating has been all over the place, but one thing I can reliably make myself eat at some point in the day is grapes. Not so much the green ones, and never mushy ones, though.

I feel really bad for the woman who got a divorce. Her ex husband is awful and should probably be in jail for not paying his child support or alimony with all the money he's got. Her uncles and other family members suck as well. How are you going to let her live in her car? Just crap family values.

You made a good point if the woman can afford much of the work, she can enjoy the lifestyle. But if its all on you 24/7, you’re going to end up resenting it. And with the economy and the way life is today, it isn’t possible to keep a family afloat on one income. That’s still true even if feminism never existed. The trad wife influencers are selling women a dream and the reality of domestic life is far removed from it. While I’m a traditional man, I wouldn’t want to live in the past and when all is said and done, the past is a foreign country.