It’s crazy to think how some people are so ok that they don’t even think these types of thoughts

Honestly after living life, nothingness sounds like true peace

Given the choice and knowing how much pain and misery I would suffer, I would choose to not be born. Life has been too cruel.

I would never choose to go thru this again. I can't wait for this to be over. I am exhausted. I am done.

Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery. - Andy Warhol

I would always choose not to be born. I was born into a cult. Lived it for 18 years, and spent the next 10 looking for answers, and the last 10 realizing there are none.

I remember as young kid ( 6 or 7) I would hold still and let reality wash over me, the feeling was "how and why am I here?, how did I get here? Where was I before this?" The feeling would pass in just a brief moment and the older I got the less it happened.

The part about “no one really understood you” got to me

Obviously I'll choose the nothingness, gotta be insane to come back.

If I could choose between being reborn and returning to the void. I would run toward the void. It’s not that I’ve had a bad life as such nothing truly terrible has ever happened to me, but I’ve never been happy either outside of just the briefest of moments as if just give me a taste of what I can’t have.

The character in this story had a very meaningful life because he was lucky enough to live somewhere where he had the opportunity to live a life where he was in a country where he wasn't oppressed and that's why he chose to be reborn. You forget that not everyone has a comfortable life like this character. There are people that died not ever knowing anyone that gave them love as kids or adults or a mother that kissed him and told him or her that they were beautiful or a father that didn't beat them or people that didn't beat them or even tortured them. A lot of people would choose to go into the darkness instead of risking living that life they did before.

I have come to the conclusion that it's not the suffering I have endured that makes me conflicted about having existed, it is the suffering I have caused that makes me not want to have existed.

My mom just died on the Mother’s Day and I’ve gone through this thought process a few times myself and seeing it so beautifully portrayed makes me feel better.

When I had major surgery, I was completely anesthetized. I was completely unconscious, unaware, had no feeling and no existence. It was pure bliss. That is what I imagine death to be like…

I would definitely choose not to be born again! In fact, if newborn babies could think rationally, I could see myself thinking “Oh crap! Not again!”

What kind of maniac would consciously choose a cycle of pain and suffering? Gimme the void. Now.

I think everyone would choose to be born if they didn't know the outcome of their life, but if the outcome is just vaguely known, I think most people would skip being born.

I used to be afraid of dying & not existing, having cold sweats at the thought. Now I am afraid of existing after death.❤ No I wouldn’t have chosen to be born.

My mind was blown when you said “if that’s heaven, give me hell” this was such an emotional and beautiful video

I know it's a trap, but I'm so completely in love with it. As someone who often desires to have never existed at all, I feel extremely called out. This is beautiful, and well done. Thank you for the reminder.

I joined the Marines right out of high school and went to Afghanistan and Iraq as a rifleman. It's something, even all the years later, that people look at me with wonder when they find that out about me (probably bc I don't look anything like what you'd expect a Marine to look like), and yet I've endured the physicals pains and continuous PTSD which included over 15 years of alcohol abuse. I'm proud of that accomplishment, but would I do it knowing what I know now? I'm not sure. I had a colleague who got their PhD but ended up working in the same position as me (someone with a bachelors). He's said he's proud of his PhD but knowing how he ended up professionally, he's not sure he'd have done it if he had known. It easy for us to have two scenarios presented to us and defiantly say "if one is heaven than give me hell" but once we actually endure it, if we're honest, would we do this all over again?

I like how almost everyone says no. Makes me feel good that deep inside people have enough sense to understand how stup1d life is.

*I would somersault into nothingness* and I'm sure I'm not alone. If you've ever truly suffered, especially if you haven't had any good to balance the bad, there's just no contest; this version of Heaven, however dark it is depicted (I mean that literally, like, in terms of the absence of color), sounds truly blissful.

This s life has been a constant reminder of how I’m not good enough. I’ve lost so many times and lost people I loved. I pray for what I have left and am grateful It’s sad , but the answer is Nothingness.

He had an easy, normie life. Of course he chose to return to the material realm and repeat the cycle. Some people out here are truly suffering and they would jump into the hole of nothingness without hesitation.

Being born, existing - it has all always been a marvel to me. I’m terrible at the mundane - I can never seem to find it. I have found much meaning in pain itself, and I don’t mind it so much anymore. We stay on the wheel til we are done learning. I love learning. And there’s always a path to understanding desire and suffering - and that banishes all petty terror. This is beautiful, but it leaves out one bit of context. The universe is evolving. Things are getting better. And we can do better if we evolve along with it.

I would choose never to have been born... My dad searched for blessing of children over 18 years with his first wife before meeting and marrying my mom who opened the door of children (blessing) to him...i ain't suicidal, I just wished I never have to go through all I have been through (Pain, Joy, Betrayals, friendship, Highs and lows) all in all I feel like a stranger in this world. I am going to be 30 in a couple of month time and I feel like I have been here for Centuries

I’m feeling that desire to not exist today, as we get older we actually start welcoming death as opposed to seeing ourselves decaying into something rotten and monstrous.

I didn't want to be born. I was born dead and was forced to live. My life has been extremely difficult, I had a lot to work out. Now I have worked it all, I realize how immense my mission was. I am glad to be alive now. My mother never loved me I was always alone. I have learnt how to love by having my own kids. Now I have finished my mission of breaking generational curses. Now I love life and enjoy being here.

From ages of 8-14 years old I rememeber I was able to imagine what nothingness or non-existence would feel like. It was like a black hole in my mind where there was no sound or thoughts and if I really focused hard enough I could almost blink out of reality, it felt good. Im 27 now and I try to do this now when I meditate and I can't no matter what get back there 😢 Reality forms the more you grow old, but imagination deteriorates.

I wish I could just press a pause button and the world around me comes to a halt. I want to sit down on the ground and look around me at everything everyone has accomplished and think to myself, "It was worth it." I want to cry my eyes out during that pause for the beings I've lost since I never got a chance to. I want to think over all of my actions and look for something behind it, if anything at all. I want to place my hand on the concrete of a road and feel every detail of the mix of rocks and sediment. I no longer want to be bound by the stress or loneliness or emotional weight of this world, I want to be happy. I want to be free.

I expected this video would question my desire to not exist, not reinforce it.

For anyone out there who's going through trials, I would do it again. I'm male, not tall, horrible skin disease for years with nasty scars. I don't experience anything through physical touch, so intimate relationships are out for me. And yet, I've lived my life to its best. I pursued my dreams and desires, and through hard work and some help from others, obtained them. Just don't give up. Stay nice to others. Live right. Understand that pain will pass and there will be moments of peace and sometimes even happiness. Just don't give up.

"No one ever really understood you, no matter how hard you tried, and how much you said. And you knew this." Gosh that's deep. Some might view this pessimistically, and conclude that people care too much about themselves to care enough to understand others. I, however, interpret this to mean that each of us is truly unique. It is wholly impossible to live through someone else and know what life is like for them. We are each one of a kind. Accept that you can't understand anyone, and no one can understand you. Put your thoughts down in a journal or meditate with them is the best advice I can give.

Sometimes I feel like I already don't exist

When I was a kid I thought about not being, dying and having nothing being there and cried and was frightened. As I got older I got more comfortable with that and have been striving to enjoy what I have here right now as much as I can.

That black portal would be a no brainer for me. Lol

as someone who’s been suicidal for half her life, this made me cry. this makes me want to live. this makes me want to continue recovering so i can live my beautiful life no matter how awful things continue to get, because i can always look forward to those little moments that give me hope and fulfillment.

I still remember when I first watched "death, a guided experience" and I had to watch it multiple times because somehow I couldn't feel anything watching it, it was like my mind went blank everytime, and in the end of it, it made me reach the conclusion that there is no free will. And that destroyed my desire to achieve anything in life, and made me give up in a lot of things. Now I just feel stuck in my mind, I don't have the courage to "leave"( not my fault) and don't have the desire to change( also not my fault). How I wish to enter the dark "portal" dude

I love the duality of the very end! Absolutely love it.

I don't believe I would make that choice in that position. Even as a child I never really wanted to live, but I was always afraid of making the wrong choice and paying for it, hence why I didn't end myself. I am still here out of fear. I don't have enough enjoyment and it's only downhill from here... 🤔

This is definitely one of your best videos yet, it's amazing that you can cover one of the oldest philosophical questions in such a beautiful manner that it still provokes thought and self reflection in a new and interesting way. I truly appreciate your use of language, every word is meticulous and planned and it really shows

People that don't understand that you can't regret choosing nothing didn't understand the concept.

I’m really not sure what I would pick, life is hard, really hard at times but also.. I like making friends and talking to my friends, I like to draw, I like eating foods people have made, I like the stupid little jokes me and my boyfriend make and laugh at, I like making the people I love smile, I like seeing my cat every day of his life, I like the feeling of anticipation when I see my favorite video game is putting out a new one, I like going back and playing other games I’ve already played a thousand times, taking care of the important people in my life… but the painful feeling of losing things or people you love, the times I really mess up or break something of someone else’s I didn’t mean to, the bad mental health days, getting hurt either mentally or emotionally, the stress of not knowing if you will pay rent, the feeling of being a burden to those around me, the low self esteem and low confidence level hitting me daily, the people who only keep you around for their own benefit and abandon you the moment you aren’t of any use, loving a pet and knowing one day you will have to deal with the pain of them not being around anymore… I’m not sure which overweighs which. To me, this is a conflicting topic, as much as I love the beauty of life, I’m not sure if I would want to go through the pain of life again, I’m not sure yet

I'd absolutely LOOOOVE to go back to how I "felt" before I was born and ever existed... Ohhh the sweet sweet relief from this existence of extreme pain, heartbreak, control, conformity, mindless repetition, societal expectations and pressures of all kinds!!! Please please please take me back to that place of bliss.

There is no guarantee that the joy will balance or exceed the pain. Some people are doomed to endless tragedy and despair, others merely have brief encounters with suffering, and may never even realize or appreciate their good fortune. Nobody deserves whichever lot they are handed. Nature doesn't care about happiness, just success, and doesn't give a hoot for individuals. I might be willing to be reborn as a non-sentient animal or plant, but definitely not as a human.

Weird how I've pondered upon these things when I was around 5th or 6th grade. I started questioning my purpose and had existential crisis and that I'd been living "trying" anything or everything because I had became too conscious and just lived like a zombie, trying to act like I'm supposed to but felt like I was detatched to everything... It's like floating inside my own body, hella scary.

Me holding back the tears knowing I would pick Darkness because I would wish no one else my pain of existing.

I dont know how I have stumbled upon this gem of an account (and its been over 2 years) but i will forever cherish and thank myself to take the time out to go through your videos. Thanks for everything. You've changed lives.

The best moments of my life were spent not worrying about the immediate future constantly. If you feel you cannot make the pain go away, just let it sit, it would turn to other forms of strength. If you feel something is absolutely impossible, grit your teeth and change your priorities adamantly to seek other forms of productive happiness. Just my two cents.

Would definitely jump into nothingness without any second thought! I'm sick of people myself included...

Seems like I was born just to suffer.

Reminds me of the old saying "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all".

its crazy to think that he can make such a diverse topic so simple just by his amazing voice

The friendship bit made me tear up, apart from my husband i never did manage to properly bond with others and have been friendless over a decade now. Thank fudge i have my man or id go mad, he makes the darkest days a bit lighter

Everyone's rationale seems a bit dark whereas mine just feels... cold. It's not because of pain, turmoil, ugliness, or wickedness that gripes me and entices me to the emptiness but the utter disconnect from any of it. It seems not a "release" or "rest" to me, just peace.

The best things in life aren't worth the bad things.

I would 100% choose to never have existed

I died. I wasn't aware of anything, no sound, no feeling, no thoughts, nothing. Then they brought me back and my physical condition shocked me into knowing I was alive and so now....my constant pain reminds me I am alive.

I always wonder why reality chose me to exist just to do random stuff and realise I’m going to die lol

In Hinduism, the moments after death are believed to be a significant transition for the soul. It teaches that the ultimate goal is liberation from the cycle of birth and death, attaining Moksha. Moksha is the state of liberation where the soul unites with the divine or achieves self-realization, breaking free from the cycle of rebirth. Nirvana is more nuanced and redefined version of Moksha, braching done by The Buddha.

Give me heaven. I'll take blissful reality over hellish illusion any time. It's not just nothing, it's also everything.

I m only 25 and i been wanting to not exist since many years now. Not death but just disappear from existence, as death only causes pain to the ones alive for whoever might actually have any care for me. We live in so much suffering, anxiety, trust issues, mental and physical pain, what am i trying so hard for? When all that's left is eternal loneliness, emptiness n pain. I wish we had a choice to enter the void n leaving without any trace. Atleast then i can close my eyes without worries of waking up to a bad news

The good old existential dread…

What's after death? "Hey you you're finally awake"

There's a reason newborn babies come into the world bawling, and not laughing

I just want to be reunited with my parents..Wherever they are, that's where I want to be

This evokes such fantastical feelings in me. I'm still young and have most of my life ahead of me, and I'm still not quite sure where I'm going or what I'm doing. I'm just going, just doing. This channel makes me want to do everything there is to do before my time is up. It takes everything I thought I knew and rips it apart only to rebuilt it on a completely different foundation. It shows me entirely new perspectives on topics I thought I was an expert in. I'll keep going, and keep doing, and I'll try my best even if it all amounts to nothing in the end. Thank you, Pursuit of Wonder. Please never stop doing what you are do.

For me taking ssri antidepressants for a year was similar to the void. I felt like I was in an emotional void. It was so nice to finally breath and live life without overthinking and the volatile spikes in happiness, sadness, fear, excitement and love, that were once so intense. But eventually it grew old. I missed the feeling of feeling. New experiences felt the same as old experiences. Moments with loved ones felt like moments with strangers. It wasn't unpleasant at all, I just knew deep down that it wasn't right. It seemed like a waste of life, I began to miss the good and the bad moments. Now I'm back how I was, life is intense, but I find myself more content with the craziness, the volatility. I almost enjoy it now, like lifes a rollercoaster, it's just a matter of perspective.

First scene is about what other people saw in you and the second scene is how you struggle to keep what they saw going. That's the true punishment, to keep a good face infront of others and suffering alone with your mind.

Dude I'd jump right into the black void as soon as it showed up

That was fantastic There were sentences in that piece that really spoke to me. Thank you

Sometimes I just think, wtf am I even doing in this world??

I was born in a state of withdrawal, addicted to a certain substance, but never treated for the addiction. By 3yrs old I had retreated into a completely isolated world, utterly withdrawn, and diagnosed with mild autism, and at 5yrs old I was put on a high dose of amitriptyline for my severe anxiety. The darkness throughout my life, drugs, medications, OCD, anxiety, depression, panic attacks etc, has shaped me in such a way, that I wouldn't change it for the world. Mind expanding substances, art, music, clubbing, and occasionally even sex. I just stayed away from alcohol and nicotine, from around the the age of 18, both terrible drugs, IMHO, much more damaging than any other really, if one knows what one is doing. I'm now retired, I retired very young, have a high end, personal recording studio centred around my collection of vintage analog synthesizers, etc, no kids, I think, and no wife. Solitude truly is the nurse of wisdom. The great thing about having a difficult life from the start is one doesn't like to over complicate it any more than is absolutely necessary, I don't tolerate low empathy people, as soon as someone starts to get moody or they try to start drama, I'm out, never had time for that shit. One life, live it, - don't do what all my mates ended up doing, that is getting married and living someone else's life, honestly out of all my friends only two are happily married with kids, the rest are all just shells of their former selves. They've essentially become their parents, it's sad really. Funny thing is, it's often my confident, cocky friends who seem to have the nervous breakdowns, and mid life crisis, - I guess if you sail through life with nothing holding you back, when something does go wrong it feels like the end of the world, - whereas people who have to struggle from the start, learn much more about themselves, developing unique coping skills along the way, and are therefore much better prepared. I guess what I'm saying is, - there is nothing wrong with daring to live the life others dare not live, if you have a plan. My plan was the studio, and nothing else, - I guess the autism helped keep me focused. But yeah, I'd choose suffering every time, - it definitely made me more empathic, compassionate and understanding. - love to ALL, feel no hate "I am nothing, you are nothing, - but we are God."

I'll chose not to be born thanks, life has not been fun at all. Awesome job all concerned, extremely well done on every level ❤️

This was so well executed...It made more sense than much I have heard over my lifetime.

I wish I could just dissappear. People can get along without me anyways.

“If that is heaven give me hell” Gave me Goosebumps

Before i was born i decided to be born but now i realize that it was a big mistake. I wish I hadn't 😓

Great video on a subject I'm sure many people don't ponder often. Life is absurd no matter what but it is possible to cope without delusions. As Albert Camus puts it, "One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

There are things I’ve experienced that i keep living for, for i know there is so much joy in life. And likewise there are things i can never forget and never stop feeling. I will always have nights where i stay up wondering if continuing to live is truly the right choice for me. I will continue to have flashbacks and i will continue to dissociate but i will also be in awe at how much i can love a single person, at how much joy something so small can give me, find wonder in all the story’s i read. Life is full. Of suffering and joy and everything else. And it doesn’t cancel out, it doesn’t make it worth it or not, it just is. I will continue living my life and make it the best i can with this terrible start because i am not ready to experience nothingness and abandon all that im attached to. But i will never do it again. My choice will always be to return to nothingness.

Im content with life at the moment. However, I had debilitating mental problems when I was a kid that persist to this day, though its easier to deal with now after 40 years. If I had a choice of being born, I would choose no. Remembering what my childhood was like, along with the alcoholism that would come later, I would never want to go through that again.

Life is tough! Most days, I wish I could just turn out the lights...

I’ve been watching your channel for so long now, always full of realizations for myself. This is my favorite one so far. Thank you, thank you.

There are other people/souls that may never see and/or understand this video. 😢 Yes, The experience to live a life in a human body (perfect or less than perfect) is an experience of a lifetime itself. With your human body you can experience the world, bitterness, pain, cold, loneliness, etc. Along with all the millions of goodness (and bad experience) it promised, warmth of love (along with inevitable heart breaking loneliness of being left) , sweet candies as a kid and tropical fruits and bacon (or medications and torture) , the sense of your skin touching your loved one and be loved in return (not all have experience such motherly love as they're being cast into the recycle bin once they're born) , the beautiful colours of rainbow (or the sight of horrors where satan himself will give a standing golf clap applause for such beyond imagination evil act), the smell of petichor after rain (or the terrible smell of death in war and chemical warfare), etc. So much so our experience with our senses as human that we become much accustomed to our body and define ourself by that (perfume, hairstyle, smile, sound, skin color, etc) along with our culture being taught by the people around us. So much so that when we reached that point in the video where we have to choose then we can't help but to choose hell ourself (bacon was sooo good, you can't have bacon in nirvana).

"If thats heaven, then give me hell" I don't even know what to think anymore

If i was faced right now with that question I would choose nothingness. Living all over again would be indeed hell

The way you narrate is very profound as if you have known it all and you were there watching all this exactly as it happens. Brilliant!

What i am experiencing is the passing of time and my potential going to waste, i am already 25 years old, i am done with school, i followed a field that will not lead me to a comfortable job, as i am a introvert and meeting and talking to new people or interacting with others in general is a great source of anxiety for me, i am destined to become a teacher, i do not want that. I was a neglected child, i had to fend for myself, i had to be by myself alot, lonelyness is hardest when you do not know how to do stuff and nobody is there to teach you, life was very frustrating, i was ashamed to ask, because i always thought i was too ignorant and i was going to be laughed at, which led me to isolate myself even further. I found comfort in the abscence of judgment, of people. Which is not the answer to my issues, i have to go out there, face judgment, be better, be more confident, blend in, and find hapiness.

"And I asked the being, 'why does any if that deserve a punishment. Why are we being punishef for those specific feelings? Can you explain this?"

I feel as if part of me had to die in order for my present form to be where I am today. It's a beautiful thing, destruction. Heart break. Loss. Because they have deepened my appreciation for life. I hope this peace of mind follows me for the rest of my life.

There is a teaching *_What Happens After Death_* given by God's Angels to a man named Marshall Vian Summers. It's very interesting, to say the least.

After 12 years of depression and a suicide attempt. I really questioned the creator of this reality if they loved me, why not let me die? I lived to find that answer in the smile of my daughter. You can say I found some of the happiest moments of my life but that still doesn’t take away from my contentment in the idea of not existing. I have spent over 10 years meditating and I don’t wish to not exist because of the suffering I have experience but more so realizing the less “I think” about myself the more “I am” myself. When “I” stop existing, the real one will.

I no longer feel any connection to anyone or anything in the world at large. I have lost so many people and I do not want to suffer loss and sadness anymore. Everything I've been taught to believe has turned out to be lies. I so desperately want to escape this meaningless existence.

My god, this is your best video so far.... Bravo!

Your videos have been one of the greatest blessings in my life and I'm grateful. They are the greatest wisdom, the most painful truth, the most beautiful understanding........ They are an incredibly cherished treasure. Thank you.

*sprints and dives headfirst into the right portal*

During my life I have experienced a strange thing about 5 times. Everything is happening as usual and suddenly something happens to me. It's like I'm becoming someone else and I'm very old and "I know everything." Everything around seems to slow down and I begin to look at what is happening. I look at plants, at animals, at the sky. Everything seems somehow different. I look at the faces of people, children and adults, I look at them and I know for sure that "they are sleeping, they don't really know anything, they don't understand now." I don't know how to explain this "knowledge"... And I feel some kind of disappointment (?) in everything that exists. At the end of this "experience" the words "I will remember this" always appear in my head, then everything gradually returns to normal, I become myself and I care about ordinary human things, and this "big knowledge" seems to elude me and I can no longer remember it. For many years it seemed to me that it was just me and after that life went on, but now I am 26 and I understand that the thoughts at the time of this "experience" are too adult for a child who is only two years old from birth. It's as if someone else, someone old and very tired opens their eyes in me and looks through me, and I can watch with them. It may look like derealization and depersonalization, but I've been experiencing them for the last 6 years of my life and can tell you it's a completely different thing... Maybe someone here has experienced something similar? Also, in my early childhood, I fell into "aryk" many times - it's a kind of ditch with clear mountain water, and I never got up from there, I didn't try to get out, I stayed there on my back with my eyes open. I am often reminded of this by my grandmother, who got me out of there. She still feels some kind of shock because of this after so many years😅 This also happened to me in kindergarten at the swimming pool. I slipped and stayed at the bottom. When adults got me, they asked why I didn’t do anything and didn’t try to save myself. And I don't know what to say to them. All I remember from those moments is how empty my head was and I looked at the surface of the water above me and felt incredible peace and I didn’t need anything and didn’t want anything, there was no fear! Damn, this is so weird. Something similar I experience in my dreams when I die there. For some time I am in the dark in absolute peace and without any thoughts or desires. Pure consciousness or unconscious maybe, I don't know... I hope that after death it will be so 😔

A breathtaking vision of human existence...to the extent of all the possibilities we can live. And we can accept life, even if it would sometimes be a journey into our own or other people's abysses... This video is one of your masterpieces. A rush of the senses, a color horizon of the imagination. And an invitation to a powerful approach to life, in the manner of Albert Camus. Many thanks for your art! It inspires me to write. I'm working on a novel.

I feel comfort knowing I can pull a trigger and turn it all off. I wonder if people actually have the experience described in this video. Happiness and peace are impossible, but just to feel love and family, that sounds like heaven.