Guess hell froze over because Crispy’s Tavern missed an upload. 😢 It was a… process getting this done but hey, it’s here! Sorry for the wait. Hope you guys enjoyed!

My milkshake brings all the bees to my car I spilled... all over my car Bees... are inside my car They could kill me I'm allergic to bees!

It's not fun to be railroaded, but making the BBEG a massive swarm of bees sounds funny. Like, where did the bees go? They went to another dimension to harass a group of adventurers.

Plot-enforcing bees sound like a fun monster if they're enforcing an in-game plot, like the PC's are being forced to be part of an arch-fae's theatre or something like that.

DM: You get stung by bees Swarmkeeper Ranger: Why do you betray me?!

I wouldn't say Death House is "bad", but it is a harsh lesson in fleeing being the best option some times.

Okay, the intro story was really unBEElievable. Hearing that really stung. 😆

Thanks for reading my story! I'm the writer of the "slap of death" story. To clarify on the death house scenario, i have no idea how much our DM modified it but the reason i said it was mutual stupidity was because we died as a result of splitting the party LOL. And thanks for the compliment on my games plot. I'd say overall that game went well aside that 1 major hiccup. While my usual group has kinda disowned DND 5e after the whole OGL debacle, i'm currently GMing for them again using the "through the breach" system. Going great so far!

A good phrase for DM's is "just to clarify" it's ok to help the players understand what your trying to convey

I don't kink shame but I will consent shame! And everyone else should too! No consent from everyone in the room it's a no go!

18:48 This delivery of "And Then, The Skeletons Arrived!" has me in stitches and I don't know why 😂

TIL Crispy is touchy about people saying "Fall" instead of "Autumn". Weird hill, Crispy. Weird hill.

Honestly we need more of 1920s radio host Crispy.

by the way it was described, the whole "stung by bees" thing just feels like the dm was really trying to pull out a joke or a gag of some kind, but either nobody at the table picked got the joke, or the joke itself was so bad that nobody found it funny in the slightest

Today's episode: "The DM's barely disguised fetish"

I really don’t understand making characters to spite other players. I like making my characters with the party in mind, but more to highlight them and the themes and arcs they want from the game, not to spite anyone. Ah well. Least that guy left the table.

I wrote the Session 0 story, and honestly, I could've written a whole story JUST about weird shit that DM did. From having me do bard magic like a wizard, with preparing spells and all, to making a huge deal about backstories then yeeting us into the past negating everyone's backstory but mine (probably because he forgot how old my character was), to a performance roll that I'm pretty sure made fighter leave the game, he was..... a trip for sure for a new player.

I always love hearing the “thank you by the way” followed by a surprised rat.

To you pure and innocent souls who don't know: Femdom = female dominatrix. There you go.

5:42 This is the most fae-like idea for the origin of Eladrin and I adore the fuck out of it.

Nice Cage voice: NO NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!

A deadly bee weapon. My God.

The Session 0 problem is one of my favorite stories I've heard in a while! OPs first experience with that 1e box is heartbreaking, and I genuinely don't know why 3.5 seemed to instill a superiority complex in so many. It's far from a perfect system, and I'm saying that as someone who started with 3.5. Anyway, it's so cool how Arianna got an epilogue! I really hope to experience a great RPG epilogue down the line, either as a DM or PC.

Intro was definitely a unique railroad mechanic. 1st story gave a whole new version of "hit'em so hard (insert relationship here) would feel it". 2nd story had me more concerned about OP hurting themself with the speech. 3rd story felt like a journey, from a bad childhood experience to a good group with some rocky moments but ultimately a happy ending. I can say at least this DM gave a warning instead of just deleting everything without anyone knowing. 4th story I've heard before and feel the need to mention one of the royals shares her name with a Disgaea 5 character.

As a life long and proud elf hater, my mans literally slapping every single elf is hilarious

I can sympathize with Crispy on the "I might be overusing this one character archetype, but I'm not ready to admit that it's a problem." Thing. I have legitimately lost count of the number of scrawny, dark-haired cat girls who have snarky attitudes, and are geniuses in one specific field but terrible at everything else. It... _might_ be a problem.

Holy shit, BEES.

Third Story: Why did the DM need to delete the content from Roll20? You can keep stuff up on there forever, as far as I know. No need to straight-up kill the entire thing like that. Very weird on the DM's part. Also, yeah, he could've just taken a break if it was getting too crazy. Could've been a month, or even longer, if it was interfering with him that much.

That DM ghosting had some real “delete my browser history” vibes.

That last story just screams "Dare you enter my _Magical Realm?"_

The last campaign I DMed had a thing against mimics. There was a boss fight against two mimics that were hiding in their den in the shape of treasure. Alwor the blind tabaxi fighter almost got his arm chomped off. Sadly, the campaign fizzled out. In the new campaign, my players got paranoid that an NPC was a mimic and were doing investigation checks. I dropped the bomb revealing the girl to be a spirit guiding the team to their destiny.

Your search history thanks you for not going down that rabbit hole.

the bees scared the shit out of me lol

A game in 1919-1920, what would THAT have been like? "Back in my day D&D was just stories we told around the fireplace. Now lookit you whippersnappers, buncha you call yourselves 'DMs' or 'Storytellers' an' then let other folks tell the stories for you!" -Ancestors of Railroading DMs

The story about The Session 0 Problem is something that everyone needs to hear - if you can’t deal with your own fears irl, don’t make them part of your character

On the topic of spite characters/characters that are built with the intent of being "better" than another: one time I made a shadow sorcerer rogue multiclass. he was a really small (barely 5 feet tall, while wearing 4" goth platform boots), borderline malnourished half elf that was still in his edgy teenager phase (he was like 19) and was known for dealing cold damage. Another player got fed up with his character and decided to make a wizard, describing him as still an ACTUAL CHILD (usually a huge no-no for that group, he wanted to be like 8 years old but settled for 15), shorter than my character by 2 inches, and had the elemental adept feat for specifically cold damage. He basically made a character that was all my character's main traits amplified; younger, shorter, even more cold damage, etc. He looked so smug about it lmao. A session later we had leveled up to a level where I could take an ASI or feat, so I increased my dex by 2 for the sake of better using my rogue features. I thought it would be funny to describe it flavor-wise as him ditching his chunky and impractical shoes he was wearing. That Guy was absolutely gobsmacked when my character rolls up to the party, now two inches shorter than his. He chose that height, forgetting about my character's shoes I described multiple times, and was pissed he was no longer the smallest. The campaign died for unrelated reasons but it still makes me smile to think about

Intro Story. Me thinks the reason DM was not great was this was literally their first time to DM and everyone's first time playing the game at all. IDK, it's just that OP's stating their friend wasn't a great DM on their very first try at a new game just rubbed me the wrong way. Nobody is great doing something for the very first time.

I've heard that last story a few times on other channels I watch and in every one theres a person saying "It was listed as nsfw so what did you expect?! 🙄". Not having the dm derail the plot to expose his hardcore kinks? The way I look at it, M rated games and R rated movies can both encompass a meriad of things but those things are ADVERTISED. An M rated game is not guaranteed to be gorey but when it is, it warns you, an R rated movie isnt guaranteed to have sex and nudity but when it does. IT. WARNS. YOU. Nsfw roleplaying should be the same way, where in session 0 limits and content warnings are duscussed. Nsfw is not some excuse or get out of jail free card for you to just subject everyone to whatever the hell you want. Anyone who would argue against that already know they're being asshole, trying to sneak their kinks and fetishes in because they don't think they'll get players otherwise.

“He loved being humiliated” *picture of Wyll* 🤣

0:15: 🎲 A D&D campaign with new players takes a dark turn. 3:53: 🎲 A player in a high-level RPG campaign exhibits hypocritical behavior and complains about game balance. 6:44: 🎭 Player backstories integrated, confrontation with consequences. 10:01: 🎭 Player character creation causing problems in a RPG campaign. 13:08: 😡 A player had a heated argument with the dungeon master during a game session and later felt conflicted about it. 16:24: 🎲 A person's past negative experience led to anxiety about joining a new tabletop role-playing game, but they eventually overcame their fears and joined a D&D group. 19:45: 💎 Player cursed by touching a stone, leading to intense fight and personal revelation during RPG session. 22:45: 💔 The importance of communication and consideration in gaming, and the negative experience with a DM. 26:17: 🎲 Players encounter disturbing content in the game, leading to a decision to stop playing. Recapped using Tammy AI

Yay new intro!

Bees just use some flame magic

LOL your B shorts got me laughing. In a Fallout RPG we got a spot full of bees big like the size of chihuahuas. But, with a NPC around, they are good bees, like cute to caress their antennaes. 😅

I swear the god, the intro story is literally my first campaign??? like word for word, except it was four friends (our dm has played some games before but never dmed) and mid quarantine. Like, it was scary to read that when it literally happened in my game (ive never played dnd since cause i havent been able to find a group). But the dm isint fully to blame, we were new players and we didnt know how to roleplay or really play in general. Edit: The intro story WAS my first campaign and MY SISTER was the one who sent it in???? This is wild

I was not expecting a random atropal reference out of nowhere. Still one of D&D's weirdest canon monsters.

Finally the hive background

My first D&D present from my dad was the original boxed Basic Dungeons and Dragons set with the blue lid (later versions had full color). This was in 1980, when AD&D had been out for 2-3 years and was the one being used.... I feel that poor girl's pain (although the gaming group I joined had two females already and was more accepting) Getting blamed and shamed for not having the "right" version was really disheartening to teenage me.

I love these videos. 😊 Most of these stories could be subtitled, "Why You Need a Session Zero." I feel like a hypocrite because I didn't have one, but I kind of stumbled into DMing after feeling bad that we'd been cancelling a lot of games. (One of the players is my husband, and it's one of the few times he gets to socialize.) There were no new players brought in, and the sessions I run are pretty light hearted. Other than the players hilariously ripping on the boss each time -- to be fair, the picture of the most recent one did have a bit of a Joel Schumacher Bat-nipple vibe -- things have been smooth sailing. They're enjoying themselves, and that's the most important thing to me. I'm still striving to improve, but I'm having fun too.

4:28 "the world isn't open enough" ??????????? I am so befuzzled by that one what-

guy in the intro story was legit playing with the pain

27:15 At that point, that isn't even a fetish. It's just domestic abuse. He's fetishizing abuse. Disgusting. As someone who is very into a s/d, this is not what it is like whatsoever - you don't coerce your partner into anything, unless you're both into non-con and talk about it before hand, but you can tell from everything in the story before the tl;dr that that is not the case.

Intro story needed more bees...

I’m sorry, but I lost it at “Woman, you did not just thither me!”😂

NOT THE BEES!

BEES. MY GOD.

Could you please return the whisperings "Danger Danger Danger" when introducing a story with a trigger warning, like the last story? As a mostly audio listener (although I always rush back to see a skit and the intro video) I would be very appreciative. Keep up a great work!

I have used bees, bees can be fun in a skill challenge, puzzle, or trap, or just to set up a mood, but this was just... idk what this was.

I've only ever played D&D once in my entire life and it was a one-shot of Death House XD, it with my sister and some folks we knew. I played a half-elf nature cleric with tired mum energy, my sister was a ranger (we played sister in-game too), one friend was rogue that wanted to steal everything not nailed down & the other was an Orc fighter with a dump stat in INT. I don't really remember much of it but I think was HEAVILY NERFED (I don't know much about Curse of Strahd other than a live stream I used to watch) but we had fun and I hope I get to play D&D again someday.

22:23 Wholesome ending, eyyy!

Ok, so bees. Huh? These guys are friends, right? Why didn't they just ask him what he wanted them to do? Or, after the game just died, why didn't they ask what the bees were all about and what did he have planned in the town? Was he a big fan of The Wicker Man? Or the Nicolas Cage meme? Like, I would just want to know!

Dr. bees approves. The only answer to everything is bees.

12:24 I had a very similar moment with my character lol. Good thing I was also the defacto party leader and basically said "no, we are doing this".

You need consent. 🙃 WE. 👏 STAN. 👏 CONSENT. 👏

You need consent… including from the spectators.

dude i have forgot your existance and just started to binge videos I need to submit some of my horror stories still lol

My only thought comes to Dr. Bees

Who doesn't love Amity Blight? (Ok, maybe people who haven't finished the series)

That last one…….. MY DUDE EVEN A MASOCHIST WOULD GET MENTALLY BRUISED, HOLY- I am, DEAD SERIOUS. You like being hurt physically as a masochist, the rest is straight up disrespect and dehumanizing. Some people are into that.. But that’s a level of complexity not fit for a DnD game, where nobody signed up for witnessing that.

Hey so the 5th story, the campaign might be AI generated. I use chatgpt to spitball character concepts when I'm having trouble coming up with something, and it generates the names Alaric and Seraphina with very high frequency.

How has no one made a Nicholas Cage N0T TH3 B333Z!1!!!! joke yet?!

Ohhh Crispy! You got to the end of the Phantom Liberty DLC? How was it? I personally loooooved it a lot, but uh, need to play the game again to get the other proper ending...

Crispy, femdom is pretty tame overall. And I'll define it here in the simplest way I can without trying to make someone uncomfortable, but down in the post so if you don't want to read about it you don't have to. . . . . . . . . . . . It's a dom/sub relationship (think BDSM) where a/the woman is the dominant partner. As you're ace and I don't know how much you look into things like that out of curiosity (given you're reactions in the past I think you look into them very little of your own accord) I don't know how aware you are of things like the dom goth mommy memes. But if you are aware of that, then think that.

This is the first time I've heard eladrin be pronounced that way

Que the Nick Cage References!

Good on you for not looking up stuff you don't want to.

I would leave a comment, but I would get stung by bees.

Death House is good, actually. It's just deadly, but as long as everyone is on the same level its very fun

YOU NEED CONSENT!

11:50 eh, fish eat other fish all the time. It’s not cannibalism if a person were to eat a rhesus macaque, although you shouldn’t. Particularly the ones In Florida (they have HIV)

Bees. My God.

Not the bees!

rewatching a bunch of your old videos I just wanted to leave a comment that there's nothing wrong with having an NPC or even player character "type". I'm a nonbinary biromantic asexual and so many of my characters are just twink romantic ace enbies/fembois who crossdress it's a running joke in every friend group I have.... I unveiled the picture of the death god in my campaign and everyboddy was like "oh god it's another twink.... [my name] never change" I made a dragon who was buff in human form and everybody started making jokes about looking for the pod xD

23:23 ;^; no danger danger

Wow that story about the girl who found the 1st edition game kind of broke my heart a bit 😔 people are shit

Details of the royal bedroom life was... Unecessary.... I wonder if the word bastard would really get ya demonetized though....

You need consent 😤

YA NEED CONSENT

Kinda off topic but does anyone know if writing/forum/message board RP’s are still a thing? I miss those days and I had a couple ideas in mind but I don’t think they exist anymore 😢

The wicker man railroad

Ya need consent!

I know crispy didn't just say N-zero-zero-B.

Why oh why do people behave like this?

The intro story is what happens when your DM is DOCTOR BEEEEEEES! kzfaq.info/get/bejne/hr-ki9hzs5esppc.html

Who’s John Snow?

Greasebee tavern*

You need consent. 😢

Ya need consent

If you wanna change it up, switch to a smiling Psycho. She's positive and upbeat, but the things that come out of her mouth are disturbing sometimes. She can continue to be rude, but it comes off as cute instead of Lae'zel.

Get thithered lol

I love you, O Crispy One, but "subsequent" is pronounced "SUB-seh-kwent." It's a weird one!