When someone comes back after dumping you, and it wasn’t your fault, it means their other relationship(s) didn’t work out, and now you are their contingency plan. Never take back someone who blatantly disrespected you, and put you through emotional hell. They only wanted you as an option in their life, not a priority. Move on. Completely.

The dumper is just lonely and wants to go back to what was familiar and easy.

There is absolutely an underlying, unidentified reason why this person suddenly dumped the guy. I’m sure he was very hurt after four years but he obviously discovered that life without her was just fine, maybe even better. Good for him.

Grass is not greener on the otherside. Dumpers realise its not even realise real grass but turf.

Sorry to sound harsh but that's karmic justice. People these days are so whimsical and flippant with their affections, they want what they can't have, they reject what they can. It's really quite tragic. I was in a situation late last year/early this year. Woman was whimsical, one minute she was chasing me and being flirtatious, the next she turned into the ice queen. I blocked her, haven't looked back since. This generations sense of entitlement is off the scale

3 months now blocked move forward let them roam what is meant for you will be yours. They always will be with another guy but they plan there escape long before they dump you. Let karma do it's work. Narcissist pure evil people move on. Never to be trusted. Piece of mind is always better than a stressful partner. Let go let someone else have the misery because they will always the same person.

When someone breaks up with me, I don't wanna think they're regretting it. I like to think it was the right decision and hope to find something else.

Cant trust anyone anymore

Unless they are a covert narcissist, then they don't regret anything except that they can't get you back for more supply. I've given multiple chances to one and got discarded each time. Biggest mistake of my life.

Some absolute menace on this website in a comment I saw once said "If you love something then let it go, then if it comes back to you send their behind away because it means nobody else wanted them either" and that makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Thanks for this Susan. I’m going through a rough patch with a guy that was totally into me. Suddenly, he back peddled and disappeared. I’ve been sick for a week. I can’t even eat. 😢I’m saving up to book a session with you. Excellent Video. Bravo 👏

Thanks for shining a light on the process of "Grieving the familiar" I left a long term unhealthy relationship and spent a year grieving and didn't understand why I felt that way. I had no interest in going back but the grief was real.

Thank you, Susan. You've helped me thru a very dark time in my life.

Your blouse compliments your eyes brilliantly! Stunning as ever! Thank you for this content.

Sounds like she wanted to try out different dudes. Like the grass is greener on the other side crap. She probably got dumped by the random dudes she started hanging out with and then started to miss the man that was treating her like gold. Oh WELL!

Thanks Susan I needed this. I just hope my hard headed DA Ex regrets her decision. There were no signs and I thought everything was going well, guess I was dead wrong. On the surface she sure doesn’t act like she has dumper’s remorse. The problem is that I’m not sure she is emotionally capable of feeling guilty? She is very good at compartmentalizing bad situations and moving on.

Susan, this was a superior broadcast, I was answering yes , yes and yes again . I have been working on myself for six month post break up. But it was marvelous to hear someone tie it all together . Thank you from the bottom of my heart . All those close to me have remarked on a different observed , but it is a work in progress . Maybe one day my ex partner will notice from afar, but in reality, she is not the issue.

She thought she found someone better and it didn't work out with the new guy.

They have no heart so they can't regret. They have joy in being a deceiver.

Good for him, got dumped for nothing, GOOD FOR HIM, he dodged a bullet, the bullet being a toxic radioactive woman.

I’m sure some women, many women dump their bfs when they’re in the final week before their period. This is a time when many women want to be on their own, feel less desire, may be more sensitive, feel more fear, may feel gender-less, may impulsively react and give bf space for no reason, may reflect and over think things which you wouldn’t at the start of the month. My daughter dumped her bf during this time of the month.

There is definitely more to the story.

My wife and baby’s mom were married for nearly five years. The last year we had our first during the pandemic. It was difficult especially Because her family was overseas. As soon as the lockdowns lifted her aunt arrived and the next day seems like she picked a fight and left with baby 9 months and aunt. She secured an attorney and kept her court filing for over a month and did not want to work to resolve our issues let alone communicate at all. Unfortunately she took our child over seas and I haven’t seen, spoke, nor even received a photo of my little girl in nearly a year…. Very sad. 😢

Everyone will get their Karma. Sometime you’ll be lucky to see that and sometimes you'll not. But be sure they will regret for doing wrong to you someday

as a German Biologist - we are far too Domesticated and do not register in the first encounters the “red Flags” - hyper tolerant, crediting… most encounters should end right there. The longer it takes, the more damage… All preventable

Love your content❤ best wishes from germany 😊

Had this happen a few weeks ago. And no, i have no care to take back someone i can't trust

So interesting, smart and on pointe, as always, Susan. I love your success! And, don't things happen the way they were supposed to happen, after all? Like, maybe there are no mistakes in the Universe?

Hi Susan, Love your work! After some pulling back and distancing over several months, my boyfriend has very informed me he has got back with his ex (unresolved issues..) This was a shock to me, but at the same time a relief as I have been feeling anxious for weeks. He has been avoiding meeting up in person, canceled plans, not calling when promised and when asked, always stated work pressures/stress etc. I decided to detach from him and there was no communication for 1 month. However, we were at a venue last weekend (same social circle) I approached him and we spoke, I literally had to force the truth from him - I was calm and direct, but insisted for him be honest. She was actually present, but not privy to the conversation. I'm still very angry and upset and confused to his actions. Not sure whether he was hoping to keep the option open. We had a good connection/r'ship and were making plans for the future etc. This is tricky as he hasn't contacted me to apologise/explain/clear the air and we will see each other and are known to each others' friends. I'm trying to move forward, but struggling with mixed emotions. Do you have any suggestions. I hate feeling like this and want ME back! I also wonder whether he was trying to ghost me and would/does have any guilt. Or was trying to hedge his bets? Any thoughts much appreciated 😊

My kids would come back from a visitation and tell me "Mom said she made a mistake leaving me and would I ever get back together with her" I told them that Your mother was my high school sweet heart and she dumped me twice and this was the third time so 3 strikes and I'm out.

I was suddenly dumped after a 7 year relationship that didn't have observable problems with no explanation or closure. How could anyone do that (and me being so foolish to have trusted and loved them). It's hypergamy, but the lack of kindness was terrible. I've since learned "she's not yours, it's just your turn" and to never trust again.

I got dumped in the way she did it. Bad argument, he hung up on me and texted he felt offended and insulted. 3 days later his mom told someone and 2 people in that trail word gets back to me that the relationship is officially over. After 2 weeks we finally spoke but I told him I'm cool with the ending of the relationship. But this hurts pretty pretty badly. After 2.5 years, helped him clean up his life (living with his parents as a 41 year old man due to a bad divorce, didn't have a stable job that allowed him to see his children daily, facing the loss of kids because he's not around) now he has everything in place to raise a family, good job, and purchased a nice home. Instead of just saying he's afraid of being committed, I'm just the reason everything is wrong. No accountability. Thanks for nothing.

Great vid💯

Only once i had dumpers remorse and saw her again. Worst decision ever! Never again.

Yeah I’ve experienced this. But you have to move forward. Nothing else one can do but move forward

I am who I am and I'm worth what I'm worth. If my ex can find better than me, I can find better than her. I wish her well. *tee off*

Hi dear Susan how can I ask questions and where should I leave a note or my question for you Thank you so much

I've been there once...now I understand what it meant , it wasn't love for sure just desire to win them over again...Good job they didn't let me in because it wouldn't last long anyway 😬

He left me alone and never want me again. They left us because they know they can find better option. I'm going through so much pain,I'm so replaceable. He said he doesn’t love me anymore not for a moment! I'm having nightmares everytime i think of him with someone else living the same life he could live with me!! I wanna go missing i can't bear this pain

Dear Susan where can I summit a video request? Thank you

They don't care

Do you think that someone that ghosts you has regrets? I understand that no relationship is perfect, AND I don't believe there was just cause

I think mine misses the blessings and protection he had while he was with me. Everyone loves us empaths as long as they can drain us of our light and energy. We are rare and quite special. They realize that when we are gone in a very profound way.

Remember guys the dumper will always feel like they have the edge over you, but with time they will eventually understand what they have lost. It is a blessing to be dumped because you dodged a bullet and always remember, dumpers always wish you the best but they hope for your downfall and in the end they will always be worse without you. Keep your head held high and become the best

I thought this said the dumpster. 😂😂😂

Hi Susan winter. I have a question. I’m a male and I had a gay relationship. The relationship started very strong. The guy showed me around his town. Took me to places In his his town. Helped me in school, would literally tutor me like 3 hours per night when I never asked him to. I always gave him space and was never clingy, because men in general like to have there space. He bought me a phone and put me in it as partner. Called me his boyfriend verbally. A a little over ten months he called it quits. I was broken that first weak. I would text him still during those two weeks. He would always reply. Finally I was like this is not healthy for me. I stopped for a week after that. Then broke for a couple days then stopped. This time I was intending to stop texting him for good, and I was doing that but then he texted. With a joke and a greeting. I talked to him a little bit again. Did I show weakness and feed his ego? I haven’t answered recent good morning text he sent because I just need to be in a healthy state of mind. Can a dumper change and want to get back together with you?

What if you two didn't date nor spend a second alone together for them to grow some sort of emotional attachment to you? Its been 5 years! It was easy on her but a living Hell for me because i felt some strange spiritual connection with her.. to this day i continue to see signs and even her name appearing at my feet!

F the dumper lol

My ex narc reached out on a dating app 5 years later… Omg!

Here are some reasons that some Dumpers dump: 1) Their Friends tell them that they can do "BETTER" 2) Their Family tells them that they can do "Better" 3) They feel guilty because they are cheating on their EX 4) They are still in the High School Party mode (drinking - lots of KINKY sex) 5) They feel that their relationship with their EX was not sexual enough and making up for lost time 6) They feel their EX did not take them on all the vacations they deserved. The list is endless... But here's what I am doing going forward. I will not allow anyone that deep into my heart. I just will not trust them. I will not let them into my finances (that was really dumb on my part) I will not tell them too much information that they can use against me - i was just relating to them and now it haunts me Don't give them ANY of your PASSWORDS so they can spy on you. (Computer - Cell Phone - Bank Accounts ....etc...etc..) A word to the wise is sufficient

Does the fearful avoidant experience dampers remorse?

If you have already divorced your spouse are they likely to want to reconcile.

Does this apply to platonic friendships as well?

I'm tired of being a woman's second string replacement.

Another possibility is that she was treated poorly but feels bad because she has normalized bad behaviors. There is a thing called battered housewife syndrome

I dumped her today and regret it so much. She was annoying and smothering but we couldve worked past it. She cried so much. Id do anything to see her happy again tbh

I was the dumper after seeing someone for a few months. Things just felt off. I didn't think the issues could be worked through. I feel bad for hurting them but I know ultimately this served both of us. They deserve someone who's just as into them as they are the other person. I could tell they had strong feelings for me and it felt uncomfortable that I wasn't in a place to reciprocate. I don't regret our time together and it taught me a lot.

Sounds like your protagonist more likely has a Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized) attachment style and got too fearful that things were going too well so she dropped and ran. Give it about 8 weeks and her remorse sets in. As the recipient of this on again - off again style of partner, my advice to her Ex would be to just cut his losses and move on unless she can do the deep work to become more securely attached, which would mean facing her shame, her past and her demons and walking the long & winding road to healing. She's got to understand and admit the reasons for this behaviour pattern, if it is indeed a pattern for her.

❤❤

i hope my exgirl feels that too

Hi Susan, it’s been a while. Good to hear your voice, and I hope you’re doing well. It seems rather clear why she broke it off with him, although I could be wrong and it’s not crystal clear, she simply had desire for a Chad. She was simply making herself readily available for someone with more money, higher confidence, better looks, more ‘thunder down under’, and greater dominance. An alpha, so to speak. Modern media deceived her into thinking she was a flawless Queen whom any guy should be so lucky to have (regardless of how well or un-well she treats them). Then, later she developed regrets because she bought into it, it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, she wasn’t as desirable as she thought she was, and couldn’t get those types of men to commit, maybe some carefree flings that went nowhere, or perhaps sheer loneliness set in (but I doubt she had expectations for boredom), so she eventually came crawling back after she realized she had it pretty good! Meanwhile, the committed man, provider and protector she abandoned was devastated, heartbroken, rebuilt himself stronger, found greater peace, discovered that there are younger, friendlier, attractive, and more desirable woman with greater femininity whom appreciates an experienced man. Now the ex has some jealousy, remorse, deeper regret, has lost hope, needs therapy, and is less desirable than ever before. Again, I could be wrong, but isn’t that now the new normal (and sad) modern-day relationship cycle?

Translation: the other relationship they had lined bombed. Three times I've been dumped two times the gal came back.....to a big fat Nope. PS love the glasses on look.

Well whatever until my ex comes back all this is gibberish istg💀💀💀

I dumped my x bf (who was a narcissist) ! No regrets .. happier than before ! No way to go back to a liar & cheat !

I do not regret dumping my ex a decade ago after being mentally and verbally abused

Dumped someone. Been missing her for over a year. Not going back though.

I’ve dumped 3x no regrets. They were pathological.

He is narc 😢

I don’t believe the letter you read Something impulsive was omitted, like a man

That’s not always the case. Some dumpers never go back and do heal and move on. You even admitted such in earlier videos. You need to stop making false broadstroke assumptions and lying to people - including for a profit. It’s disgusting.

As the dumper I can tell you that I do regret. I don’t regret dumping him, I regret ever having given him a chance.

Maybe she's a narc 😮

I broke up with 5 serious boyfriends including 1 husband in my lifetime. Didn't regret a single one of them. Nothing but problems with them. Now in my 40s I'm enjoying life - single with my brilliant kid, and I'm so happy. Never again I will even think about getting with a man, not even short term. They suck the life right out of you.

I have heard a saying goes something like "when women break up with men, they can never maker up their mind/always come back no matter how many times they break up with men, when men break up with women, it only takes one time and they will never regret it/turn back". And people say it's because women tend to be loyal and want to stick to one long term partner while men want as many mates as they can get. Is that true tho?