The narcissist is so miserable that theyll rain on your parade, talk behind your back about it, talk very negatively about you, then when you keep it away and they find out, they’ll REALLY go hard against you. 😳 😔

My partner saw my book. His first response was, "It must be awful living with a narcissist." Mocking continues. I'm putting my ducks in a row, and I'm gone.

You can set boundaries, but theyll break them. They dont care.

The narcissist I had in my life (and the reason I started watching this channel) recently died. Never thought I'd be relieved that a person has died but here we are.

No matter WHAT I say, no matter how mundane, he will have something debative to say. It's incredible! I'm 70 and didn't realize how truly awful my marriage was until very recently. I am SO thankful for my faith and my godly Sisters who love and support me.

This is one reason why I treat my narcissist like a roommate. He isn't my husband anymore, I hardly share anything with him. I'm glad my (adult) son is back with me, I chat with him along with my cat & dog. I'm always talking to my pets.

the narcissist absolutely dreads the nanosecond that you become awakened and aware, educated and empowered about their toxic behaviors. and then you realize your self-worth. setting boundaries is the beginning of the end for the narcissist's place in your life. it's also the beginning towards a potentially better life for you. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

After wasting hours on the phone listening to my narc "friend" I told her nicely that my best work hours were 5am to noon and to call me any time after that if she wanted to talk, I knew she was seeing red. She would typically call me at 6 am with an hours worth of what she did, what she ate, her daughters friends husbands issues blah blah blah. The idea that she couldn't call me whenever she wanted to pissed her off royally. Its been three weeks and I haven't heard from her since which is a great thing for me.

I feel sorry for people who can't feel happy for others and share in their joy. Narcissistic people deprive themselves (and others) of so many good things in life. It's sad.

My family has proven it is dysfunctional beyond repair. These people are unworthy of my trust, respect, and loyalty.

10 years in to a 22 year marriage i realized he would never help with fixing things, the kids, etc. So i relied on me, others, and hiring people to fix things as they broke instead of waiting months to have a working dryer. Then once i became independent, i stopped giving him any attention since i never received it.

"Devastating grief, years of trauma bonded hope. Years of thinking that this would be it, that he would finally show up as a decent person." After 40 years, I feel all of that. I realize that he doesn't have the ability to empathize and never will. Your friend hit radical acceptance and so have I. It feels so much better when you finally are able understand that people like that exist and that you don't need to keep trying to figure out why they act the way that they do. Share indifference? At this point, I don't even share that. I can't help but wonder what it's like to have a normal relationship and what the past 40+ years of my life would have been like if i had been in one.

Your comment, “I’m only supposed to talk about the weather? I can’t share good times or bad times?“ That sums up my marriage and a mouthful. I even confronted him, saying I wanted to talk about the deep issues in our marriage that were wrong so we could work towards healing, and he said literally he only wanted to talk about the weather with me, you’re right Dr. Rami, it is not a relationship

Don't get attached with them emotionally. Just look at them like a movie is playing and they're just acting out their role.

All my issues with my toxic mother was always me trying to get moral support from her when I was going through a bad time and she seeing it as a major inconvenience and treating me like sh*t for 'having an issue' in the first place... So I was always double sad... with the problem and with her invalidation (followed by insults from her)... 5 years of no contact and she still plays the 'good mother' on the internet, for those who don't know who she really is...

My narc FIL raged at my husband and I, why? My husband mentioned that next year, at age 58 he plans to retire. He has worked hard. Has a pension. Contributed fully to his 401k. Provides to us 110% of our needs. Kids have launched. FIL said he couldn’t retire until he was 70. We have no idea how hard it is to live in social security. Well . . . Social security will be our supplement income, not our primary. It was at that point my husband understood “boundary”. Nothing more is shared with FIL except the weather.

Boundaries with consequences are amazing. My friend's husband forgot their first anniversary (which also happened to be her birthday). She charged a ring for 25,000.00 on his card. Funny thing, he always remembered after that.

Brilliant. One of the best Boundaries videos so far. "Boundaries are an inside game. It doesn't work to make it an "ask" or even an expectation of them, but rather an internal shift within you in terms of how YOU interact with THEM."

This was HUGE! I ordered the book, but it hasn’t come yet. I always knew deep in my heart not to share the good things with the narcissists in my life because they never shared in my joy about good news or accomplishments and I never understood the ‘why’. Now I do. Thank you, Dr. Ramani.💜

Dr Ramani I just saw you on the Today show with your book. Congratulations! I was so proud to be your subscriber as you reach all the people that need to know about this stuff!! ❤

Hey, Dr Ramani, I saw you on the Today show yesterday and was like "I know that lady!" Great segment. I loved your pretty white outfit, too. Thanks for your work.

An "internal shift" is what it is. Boundaries help us DETACH from the toxic interactions we used to engage in. It doesn't make them stop. It helps us deal with the response. Once you expect the response and control your reaction to it, you take some of your power back. ❤

When I get good news they are not interested. A simple “that’s good”

Dr. Ramani you are the best. The line, "this isn't a relationship....it never really was..." No matter how much radical acceptance I have, I have to come back to your channel to refresh myself. The other day, my 5 year old was at school. He was bitten by a puppy dog who had manged to sneak into the school garden and was playing around with the kids. I know. The school holds great responsibility and their negligence led to this incident. However, at that specific time when I was informed by the devastated school authorities, my focus was on getting the child to the hospital. The bite was just a nick, my son wasn't in pain or crying. In fact, he was disappointed that the puppy had not returned his love in the same way. I didn't want to start screaming or making the child upset so I walked back home and mentally prepared to get to the hospital in next few minutes. My elder son who was also with me ran inside the house and lo and behold...informed my narcissistic husband who wouldn't be bothered with taking the kids to school or bring them back home or even prepare lunch or dinner. On top of it, he was sleeping. My son had committed the crime of waking him up and then telling him the bad news. Whole hell broke loose and even delayed my plan of taking the younger one to the hospital. He started yelling at me, calling me a failure, a bad mom and a useless person who was unable to protect her child. I was so careless that if a car hit him and he died I would be telling him the news with a straight face! I held back my tears as I forced my self to keep moving through the fog of contempt, anger and disbelief in order to do what needed to be done. I quickly put the necessary things in my bag, packed up some snacks for the kids and took my car keys, all the time struggling mentally to focus as i was bombarded with hatred and dehumanisation. He said he was so angry that he wouldn't accompany me to the hospital and jumped right back into bed before ordering me to get lunch because I was so incompetent to have prepared it before I left to pick up the kids from school. I managed to get the child to the hospital and receive the necessary treatment, pick up lunch for the narc and the kids and come home and manage the household stuff as well. However, no matter how much I exercised radical acceptance, detachment from the narc and self control, physiological symptoms hit me. Was it from betrayal of omission or as a result of the severe verbal abuse from the narcissist, I was seriously sick for the next 30 hours, suffering from debilitating migraines, vomiting, stomach upset and body aches and pains. Nonetheless, I dare not share it with the narc. I called some house help to help me with house keeping while I managed myself with over the counter medicines and taking time off work. All of this from sharing the bad news with the narc. I'm slowly teaching my children to learn to manage this narcissistic abuse. I cannot move out at the moment but I hope I do because I cannot take this any longer

When my mother was diagnosed as terminal at 42. My father (my narcissist) told her to get out. Even though she had nursed him back to health after three back surgeries. She died 6 years later. He didn’t come to see her the night she died though the doctors had warned us all this was her final evening of life. He didn’t come to her funeral. And I still let that narcissistic man walk me down the aisle three years later. I hated myself for it for years. This helps. I’m finally getting to the place where I think of him less than he thinks of me. And it feels sad and incredible at the same time.

Dr Ramani, I can't even begin to sum up the 30 years of narcissistic abuse I've suffered. Every scenario you describe I've witnessed. I'm so glad my sister in law referred me to your channel last year. It was liberating to see that "it truly wasn't me. " When I think of how my heart aches and all the confusion I felt when he was gaslighting and turning any given moment meant to be a joyous occasion into a hurricane! I stood by him in sickness, hospitalization something he's never done for me. I remember when I miscarried earlier in the marriage he had the audacity to imply that maybe it wasn't his child, complained about the food price when I asked him to get me something to eat and after I was released from the hospital I had to come home and cook dinner and look after our 2 yr old. Then there was a time when my brother who I was very close to was in hospice care at home and we went to see him- keep in mind he didn't have long- my narc was angry at the time I was spending and said he wanted to go visit his family! I was mortified! Anyway, you opened my eyes and I totally went gray rock. Last week after virtually no communication he texted me and said "can we talk," but it wasn't a conversation bc he announced that he was filing for divorce. Initially, I was shocked but not surprised. I am glad to know that it's not me and this is my Blessing. He was diagnosed with cancer 2 yrs ago and to think I didn't want to abandon him? I will be reading and re reading your book - thank you ❤

"It never really was a relationship". Those words sting deeply.

I shared promotions and other good news with my narc of nearly 5 years. He NEVER gave me kudos. He ALWAYS had a way of putting my accomplishments down as if he were intimidated. He also DID NOT want to hear bad news, even when my sister was diagnosed with ALS then my dad passed. I read your first book, among many others, and found my way out last November when I learned to love and respect myself and came to the realization that he would never change. He caused more harm by his lack of consideration, for deep losses of loved ones in my life. This was the final straw. I knew he would never truly be available to me on anything other than a superficial level. I received your new book few days ago and plan on reading it this weekend. Thank you Dr. Ramani for your work, and for educating us!

About not sharing bad news : I was diagnosed with cancer 12 years ago (and survived well) and it was immediately clear to me that I would not share this news with my mother, because then it would all be about her worrying and my taking care of her emotions, and I needed my strength to fight cancer (not my mother's problems). Unfortunately, I went to help my mother last year as she lost her husband, and I did what I could for her. My knowledge of narcissism is only about 4 weeks old. So I was helping my mother and I noticed I had more and more difficulty breathing... To make a long story short, I was diagnosed with COPD. And I made the big mistake of telling my mother about it. I also told her that I had to to less for her because I was sick. She wasn't worried at all. She only told me I wasn't sick. I haven't had any contact with her for a few weeks now, and I feel much much better : I just take care of my health and enjoy the time I have for myself...

I unfriended my sister on Facebook as part of the process of distancing. She never mentioned it. Just 1 less way she can reach me. I learned a long time ago she did not want to hear good news so I quit sharing. She would literally tell me she didn't care. I quit sharing with my husband because he would invariably say something negative. He repeatedly minimized me needing to go to doctors. Had a stress fracture that started to heal because "you don't need to go to a doctor". Had to wear a plaster cast 9 weeks. I quit sharing and started making decisions independent of him. I would tell him "I'm not asking permission, I am just letting you know I will be doing thus and such". Worked. Then he died which was sad but freeing.

Three huge important ‘aha’ moments for me in this - 1. It’s about my internal boundaries - an inside game. WOW! I’ve never thought of it like that and why talking about boundaries would lead to endless arguments 2. He hates hearing my ‘good news’. His lack of ‘joy’ at good my news is obvious. Now I just won’t share instead of feeling deflated. Likewise I won’t don’t bother with bad news and be left wondering why he wouldn’t engage. 3.Talk about the weather (and the odd movie!) Life changing thank you 🙏 💕

Very early in my marriage, i had a problem and wanted to talk to him about it. He said,"I have enough problems of my own, i don't want to hear about yours." So, I rarely mentioned them over the years and found that, when I did, he would weapanize the info and at some point later to hurt me. Thankfully, I still had my mother and sister to talk to. Unfortunately, they have both passed but the narc is still here. But I've given myself permission to dislike him and that has helped. He comes off to people as a nice old man. I don't think that he likes it that i clearly see him as the old, alcoholic narc that he is.

I just had the realization that I would tell the narc my good news 1st also- bc I was fawning to hopefully make them happy and be calm. Still learning about fawning, didn’t know that’s what I was doing

My mum was passing away in hospital. My husband yelled “I hope you will not use this as an excuse to get out of household duties. Just making sure.”

Boy did you nail it. Yesterday after an approximately a two year long no contact period we made the mistake of letting our narcissistic family member know of a very serious upcoming surgery in our family. Thinking it was the right thing to do. We didn’t require any dialogue, we just felt they should know. Boom! The lengthy assault started with long hurtful unsympathetic “ what about poor me” attacks of lies, half truths, blame game and irrational responses. We did not respond realizing once again we were trying to use our healthy logic with an illogical unhealthy person. It is so sad! Particularly when it’s close family that you loved and helped for so many years.

Yes, It's possible to heal. It isn't a quick fix. I'm the "bad guy" because I set the boundary to someone that was diminishing my partner. He was using my partner to gain access to our sound studio. He hasn't been in the studio for almost 3 years. He still hoovers, gaslights, plays nice, but my partner is supporting the boundary--He is not welcome at our home/studio. My partner sees how much more fun he is having and that he doesn't have to walk around on egg shells in his own studio. I'm still to blame, and if that is what it takes, I'm okay with that! Your book is being delivered today!

I bought your book! I’ve cried so much over the few days because it resonates with my experience. I’m hopeful that I will heal. I’m on chapter 5. I’m working through the journal prompts. I’m not able to leave my current situation, but I’m hopeful.

Spot on as always Dr. Ramani. The good, never told my mother I got my master's degree. I don't regret it one bit. The bad, the day I ended up in the hospital was the beginning of the end of my marriage. His attitude was beyond despicable. The indifferent yep that was all I could "talk" about with both of them. Mother died last year, been out of the marriage for years too.

Kinda feel trapped when your in one. Freedom is priceless, especally after you lost everything and everyone. Therapy will help you through the storms in life.

Maybe everything makes more sense if I conclude how I dealt with violent narcissist. Final drama More than 10 years ago this narcissist declared a bunch of requirements in fine details. How to leave messages on answering machine , how to do things financially , many details. Should I fail my mother would be dead along with family members and the email ended with my young children as well. Greatly stressed. If he talks this way and lives with a girl how could she be safe considering his history. HOW I SET THE BOUNDARY I made several calls to higher levels of police. A friend of mine had a brother who made it to a significant position and happened to be near my narcissist. I had him do a check on Wellness. I think this shocked the narcissist. Normally I waa submissive to the narcissist bit now he realized I would grab the best tools to deal with him. For a number of months he was carefully watched and was legally bound to stay away from the family. More than 10 years no contact and I feel safer as he gets older and less able to carry out threats

Unfortunately, I live with a vulnerable/covert narcissist who thrives on attention because of his bad health choices. I use to be empathic, but now I'm just burned out. Just because you don't bow to their manipulation doesn't mean your aren't empathic. Narcissists love the attention they get from being ill and will use their illness to guilt you. Learn to discern.

I'm disabled and can still do things for myself, which has brought me to refuse help a few times. I refused help for tasks well within my capabilities and was labeled as controlling.

I cannot explain in words how helpful dr Ramani has been over the years. Even my therapist lack understanding and knowledge about how deep cut narcissist actions could wound people.

Dear Dr. Ramani. This week, my therapist got your book- It's Not You. Thank you. This is the first time in 2 years she has used the term "narcissistically abused" to refer to me. She just didn't believe in it before. She didn't understand this type of abuse. When she saw your book, she got it because she said she needed to learn about what I said I was going through. It's so validating when your therapist can say, yes, you have been narcissistically abused and now let's see what we can do to alleviate your trauma and pain. Thank you for making this more accessible and popular. After a 30 year marriage to an NPD, (divorced now-actually discarded) I struggle. Here's hoping for better days. Love you-thanks again.

Boundaries are an inside game. This is a great reminder.

This just made me feel seen. My parents are narcissist and I always feel bad and guilty for not sharing with them, especially good things. But they always rain on my parade and make it about them no matter what. Imma keep going.

How do I stop a narcissist from going through my stuff? It feels like a case of "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine", and I hate it!

🙏🩷🏈🎉 Go Dr. Ramani & Team!! 🎉🏈🩷🙏 💞💞💞 Peace & Blessings!!💞💞💞

Thank you so much! Very useful information!❤❤

That was my fake life for the past 12 years …just a big, fat lie 😞

TY, Ramani, for your gentle yet empowering reminders & tools.

"inside game"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!👍👍👍❤❤❤

Thank you so much, from my heart, for being so real and authentic. As I listened to you speak, the tears rolled down my cheeks because I felt like I wasn’t alone. These are complicated emotions but so necessary to feel. This is exactly what I needed today in this moment. And, your book arrived this morning so I’m headed to chapter 8. Much love and gratitude.

Dr. Ramani some of us come from a large extended family with many people who live in the same city as we do including dozens of cousins from each aunt and from each uincle who do care however they have their own lives to live too. Peoiple like us don't have to share any news at all to our exes for them to find out about it anyway in about 24 hours or so.

@DoctorRamani Thank you for the reminders. Sometimes I have to remind myself that things go bad when I avoid hearing about recovery issues, even when I feel overwhelmed with recovery. I needed this video. Thanks again.

At around 6:24, Dr. Ramani, you say you got some really good news. I want to cheer for you!! 🙌👍 ❤ You give so much of yourself to us, how can we ever thank you for bringing us up from the depths of despair?? You deserve everything good that can happen for you. You have a pure heart. I bought your book, and I hope it becomes a huge best seller success. The world needs to hear what you have to say!

You are amazing, thank you for all the positive work you do in this realm of psychology Ramani

So much fun at the book signing last night. So happy for you Dr. Ramani! Penne Warner 🎉🎉🎉🎉 you are a true hero in so many woman’s life’s. Such a strong connections were made last night! Love you Dr. R and you are even more bright and shiny in person!! 😊 You glow girl! and 💪 yes you are right I did make it and come out even better! 5 years and finally back to super me! 🦹🏼‍♀️ You can do it! 🤩🥳😎🙌🎊

Thank you for sharing Dr.Ramani.Love and blessings for you and community ❤️ 🙏

The good news advice is soo true. I learned that lesson the hard way when I told my mom I won $46K in scholarships for a very good university. She was not happy for me. It bothered me, so I called back and asked why. She said that she wasn't happy because education was not something she valued but if I had told her I was dating a Mormon man, then I'd see her happy. My mom did not marry a Mormon man. Nor did she graduate high school.

Thank you for your wisdom Dr. Ramani! ❤❤

Oh but setting those boundaries makes them work so much harder to break them down. Even calling me by my full name to my own mother and family is too much. They have to control my name they feel too. LOL, Great content as always. Cheers

My mothers go to comment when something bad happened to me was “ how could you do this to me?” If something good happened like the time I got the best mark on the exam, she’d minimize it and say, “ oh it was probably an easy exam and everyone got a good mark.” I stopped sharing anything important ,good, bad or ugly with her a few years ago. Unfortunately, now I have to learn how to celebrate my accomplishments rather than stay humble and stay under the radar.

Thanks for sharing the message on not to share good news to everyone, esp narcs. I was feeling upset that I wasted my life behind some people. Good to know now itself than waste more years.

Just letting you know that your book, in Canada, is currently available in Apple Books now - it was available a few days ago. Looking forward to reading it

I stayed with a friend when I moved to a new city- her behaviour was appalling and controlling and super off. I didn't realise till later she was text book narcissist. One thing she did that I want to note here is: she was really patronising. I didn'tknow what to call it at the time, i just knew that she was saying nice things, but I felt uncomfortable and disrespected somehow. Later, I realised her remarks were a power game where she set herself up as the judge and approver and giver of compliments - as if I was an inept child and she was proud and surprised I actually managed to find a place to live. I'd just finished sending my child off to higher education, selling a house and disposing of or packing all the stuff on the property! I wasn't some irresponsible or inept baby human. She was a single lady in her 60s me in my 50s. So yes, that was her way of making it all about her and her being superior.

Thank you! I'm so excited the book has arrived ❣️

Me encanta el inicio. El gossip effect. Devastating. Resilience and massive deportations with all n all.

Oww yes :( having a narcissistic family, had to learn empathy alone 😔

Even if they seem excited, theyre dead behind the eyes at your good news. I mistakenly told the enabler about my nee job and she told the narc. His "congratulations" made me cringe as he's been a dick otherwise.

Oh how I love your humanity honesty and total Accuracy!!!! Thank you

That is what I really needed to hear. I remember rhat I could pass a really important exam for my carier and the day after my narc hausband made a big fight. That was the onset of a big period of panic attacks and severe depression in me. Hopefully I got help and could pass through it.

Fortunately I could go no contact completely with my narc ex-friend. That’s my boundary. I feel for all of you who are living with one. Boundaries must be hard.

I had to have hip surgery and while I was recovering my father made me move furniture with him and If I didn't he would throw me out of the home without my crutches.

Yes… one time I thanked someone for their help with something while I was going through a health crisis, and they told me “well you’re taking care of me when I get older anyway.” Also used my condition to gain sympathy, status, and support from others, at my expense.

Story time: I had my narcissistic mom come babysit my toddler when I had a miscarriage last year and I needed help watching him. She made everything about herself, how upset she was, etc. She told me about her "funny" miscarriage story from many years ago. Then she went on and on about her family's health issues and her own health issues. Then when I would have moments where I would cry she just looked at me and said, "why are you crying?" She also told me, " it's a good thing you had your miscarriage this time and not with the first pregnancy or you wouldn't have your son here." Lastly, there was a moment where I was crying and I watched her try to cry for about 30 seconds and when she couldn't force it she just gave up and went back to her normal face. Needless to say, it wasn't all that helpful to have her there 🤦

Ordered your book 🎉 followed you for 2 years 🎉 you are the reason I got out of a narcissistic relationship of 5 months. It was horrendous …. Moved him in my home, met his daughter…text book. Love your work so much I’d love to help educate women x ❤ Amazing woman x

Bless your soul, Dr. Ramani. Thank you for empowering us it really helps a great deal, words can't thank you enough !!

Whatever your good news is, Dr. Ramani, Congratulations!!

Excellent, Dr. Ramani. Thank you. (I just got your book). ❤

dying to hear your good news!!! love you. you are an absolute hero!❤

I am happy to hear you have some good news! You deserve it!

I got your book. Excited😊

Thank you for brilliant advice dr Ramani ❤

Excellent advice truly!!

My copy arrived today! Im so excited to get stuck into it!! Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

Great advice as usual. Only tell trusted people good news. I feel like this is a good plan for any type of toxic person in general, but especially with narcissists. Better to gray rock anyone who doesn't have your back in life.

I don’t know, at least any time since I started learning that about narcissism, that I gave a narcissistic person my good news, because I felt it might make me look cool to them. Maybe more so, I simply shared it, because I was trying to take their temperature, on what an a**hole they were gonna be about it. But, generally, I do t share good news, unless it affects something I’m involved in, like work. This is no longer a “celebrate with you” world, at least as far as I can see. Particularly, when it comes to triumphs I’ve had, concerning my narcissistic family also? I know most people wish I’d lose. In their minds, winning is not for victims and certainly not for people who went against their family’s agenda, even if that meant their own destruction. That, other than the fact that so many, have so many bad, hidden things going on in their lives, they likely find it hard to celebrate anything, in a world that only shows wins, like on Facebook. I lost a pet recently and, with a narcissistic acquaintance of mine, their reaction wasn’t surprising. I could see that showing empathy was like giving birth and the only reason why they did the minimum, in showing any empathy, was because they were still hoping to get something out of me.

I got your book today and can't wait to read it while wrapped in a cozy blanket in my favorite chair. This is what my weekend will look like : )

I could kiss you Dr Ramani! What you have just described is EXACTLY what I have been searching for! I can't wait to read your book, got it two days ago 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I particularly like this video. Adversity in your life definitely makes clear who really cares about you and your well being.

This is super useful, I have a 3 yr old with a narcissist. It’s hard because there is still physical attraction there, but I’m taking your advice of not forgiving, I can’t keep letting her in, but need to be available to where she still has a relationship with her son.. it’s really hard to be around her, but my true self knows she is bad news.

I think if your with a mild vulnerable narcissist that you can have temporary success for setting boundaries. I know I did. She did not rage at me, when I did. She would often go silent, make excuses for whey she was pushing for what she wanted. Then she would find something else to try to manipulate me with. But ultimately me being able to set strong boundaries with her, mitigated some of the damage she was able to do with her previous partners.

Let me start with " Thank you" for all your talks & encouragement to all that are learning to heal. My book is on its way, and I look forward to adding more knowledge to my arsenal...what I did before you never worked.

Thanks!

Watched this video . . . and realized that I am doing all these things! Probably inspired by watching earlier Dr. Ramani videos. It's not a great part of my life, but it's way, way better than before.

I just bought your book on audible and have been listening to your videos on KZfaq for 4 years. I'm thinking about enrolling in your healing program.

I was clapping at F them!!❤

I have to approach the narcissists in my life carefully. Just be polite and agree with everything she says when establishing a boundary to avoid conflict with them, even when they being rude. I must avoid believing anything they say while doing so.

Wow!!! I just had this happen!!