You're the coolest doctor ever for embracing modern pop culture instead of existing within your own doctor world. I wish there were more doctors like you!

I once saw a video where a psychologist described a story about two people ran a local shop. Once was technically the boss, but they were good friends. When a Karen came in and made an unreasonable request, the employee would call the boss and give them a secret signal. On cue, the boss would “fire” the employee and the employee would start begging for the job, saying they needed the money. The Karens would start saying, “It’s not a big deal,” but the boss would explain there would be consequences for these actions. The Karens would then leave and never return. The psychologist explained this worked because Karens want to behave badly with no consequences. Consequences would make them self-reflect on their actions, but that would mean taking responsibility, and no Karen wants that.

My mom is a hardcore Karen, and she feels vindicated because when my stepdad was alive, it was part of their good cop/bad cop response to customer service. Essentially, 'Either you can deal with me, _the nice guy,_ or I can call my wife in again c:' Without him here though, it really highlights the old, 'Don't trust anybody who mistreats the waitress. How long until you're in the waitress's shoes?' There's no 'good cop' in this household anymore, just my mom, losing her shit on anybody and everybody who tells her no. She taught my sister and I to behave this way, and it's taken us so long to unlearn that and build an understanding of respectful, consensual communication. The worst part is, neither of us are physically, mentally, or financially stable enough to live on our own when cost of living is so inflated. I don't see a way out. EDIT: A year later, I got on disability for my seizures and my mom started to realize how hurt I really am. It’s taken her a few months, but she’s reflected on her behavior and has gotten better about not lashing out at me. The seizures still make it hard to hold down a job and support myself, but getting support from my family isn’t as hellish as it was a year ago.

"Karen isn't a person, it's a state of mind." That's powerful.

Ive delt with Karens by remaining calm first. Not going to their level, telling them I will help them as soon as they are calm. This worked for me. The lady apologized and we talked some about her day, she was under a huge amount of stress taking care of her husband with cancer. She wasnt a Karen, she was a stressed out human, who just needed help, and was shitty at asking for it.

The fact that the name for this phenomenon is Karen is really funny to me because my Aunt Karen couldn't be further from the stereotype she's a quiet and friendly lady who doesn't even like insulting people, even those who deserve it.

I was raised in the family business doing customer service, I've had my fair share of these entitled clients. I wouldn't even budge because I was so used to it I litterally saw them as 5 year olds who couldn't get their way. They're like wild animals that got fed too often and are now attacking passing walkers for food.

When you start working at a tiny supermarket, wondering why the manager has a windowless office with a heavily padded door. A few weeks in, the manager comes out of the office juust in time when a Karen is about to start throwing a Karen fit. Nervously smiling, Mr. Manager approaches Karen before she can fully unload her barrage on you: "Ma'am? I'm the manager, yes I've seen everything. To my office. Please." Immediately turns around and quickly goes back to the office. Karen doesn't say anything but flings this "I'm gonna get you fired you lil' shit" look towards you. The padded door thumps shut and immediately the yelling starts. It's odd, though, doesn't sound right. It's muffled, but clearly it's not the Karen doing the yelling. Two minutes later, head glowing like a tomato, Karen rushes out of the office and towards the exit. Manager leisurely follows, comes over, pats you on the back and smiles: "The cameras everywhere? For your protection. I am that protection. You're doing a great job here, don't worry about people like her, I'll take care of 'em." The moment you start loving this minimum wage, long-hour job of yours…

Being a Karen is definitely a state of mind. As my young daughter and I were walking into the grocery store on a rainy day a Karen gets my attention by stating “Ladies can you take this cart back in for me.” And then shoves her cart at me. To keep from being hit I grab the cart and tell the lady that we don’t need a cart and before I can finish what I was saying her face twists up and she says “Haven’t you ever done something nice for someone!” I push the cart right back to her and state “Not for people that are rude like you. Take your own cart back I’m not your servant!” These people are entitled and they believe people owe them something and must bow down regardless of their behavior! This was a complete stranger demanding that I do something kind for her not because I wanted to, but because she said so!!!

My dad is a male Karen. Sometimes it’s embarrassing going places with him because he would often tear people down just to feel powerful, and it doesn’t even seem to be something he’s conscious about. All I could do is smile apologetically and pray the service worker he got hold of this time doesn’t do something drastic to all our food.

As someone who works in customer service, I tend to bend company policy for people all the time, esp if I like the person (chill, down-to-earth types), but when I deal with Karens trying to body me over the phone, it is with great pleasure that I enforce company policies. Nothing feels better than giving them entitled people the "no" 😌

My boyfriend was recently behind a Karen at a casheer desk at some shop. She was loud and obnoxious and was being really rude to the guy working there. And since my boyfriend has so experience in retail he reacted to her behavior telling her there is no reason to shout at this young man. She tried to brush him off telling that it's none of his business. So he told her that it is his business because the whole shop can hear her plus she is blocking the queue. After she finally left when she was dealt with by a menager (and ofc the whole issue was her fault) my boyfriend got a 10% discount on his purchase :)

Will Smith, “Hearing people say the race relations are worse than they’ve ever been, it doesn’t feel like that, to me. Racism isn’t getting worse, it’s getting filmed.” I'm going to add to that, "Karens aren't on the rise and getting worse, they're getting filmed."

The ‘can they smell fear’ thing is VERY interesting to me. I grew up in a very toxic and unsafe environment, with unstable and mentally ill parents. I can sniff out a toxic parent within minutes after meeting them. I didn’t give this much tought, i just always made a point of avoiding these people. But hearing you talk about this research with the laughing/frowning pictures mad me realize that this is probably what is happening. I think i recognize behavior before others do because i had to do this to survive. Does that make sense? I could be wrong tho.

The concept of "lost social status" explains a lot of Old Grumpy People who were formerly some kind of important (business owner, manager, dominant parent, socially successful/trendy) but who now are not but expect the same deference they once garnered.

I'm glad you mentioned the people using the Karen thing to sometimes just cover up their misogyny. There's been a few videos I've seen where the woman is acting pretty calmly and definitely well within her rights while the ppl filming it are calling her a Karen and egging her on. There's definitely a difference between true Karens and people who are just trying to advocate for themselves in a respectful manner.

This is beyond mental health advice, this is a battle plan for how you should deal with daily “real world” burdens.

Something I learned working at Home Depot is no matter how stupid the customer is being if they call a manager they’re always going to be enabled. I think that’s why we get a lot of Karens (of course most of the time to a smaller level of explosion than the viral clips) is because of that enablement, it is a behavior that rarely doesn’t net positive results.

Karens have been around FOREVER. It was more socially acceptable for some reason, and there wasn't an easy way to call them out. I remember my first customer as a cashier at a drugstore on my first day of work. This was 20+ years back. This customer was 70+ years old and yelled at me because a lotion she had purchased two weeks prior smelled bad. I was yelled at for the store's hours, price increases, discontinued products, declined credit cards, etc. I had Beanie Babies thrown at me because all of the "Princess Bears" were sold out. Lol Having to impose rules on them (i.e., masks) has made things worse, but they would have behaved the same regardless of when this happened. Anyone who has worked in customer service probably has the same experiences.

Oh man, I was a barista at a Starbucks kiosk in a Safeway, and it was my first job, and I'm very socially anxious, and I had to take the later shifts where I had to work alone. Once there was this one lady with just an armload of cat food, she storms over to my kiosk and insists I check out her items. I told her while I could, unfortunately we don't have any grocery bags here. She got really huffy and upset at this. I apologized and said "I'm sorry, but we're not always equipped to be a check out here, because this is a Starbucks kiosk," because that was true, and I wasn't allowed to leave the kiosk for breaks, to eat, or even sit down or go to the bathroom, (totally unethical but they didn't care) but anyways, she absolutely flew off the handle, she slammed down her cans of cat food and stormed off to complain at the customer service desk. I was shaken up by how angry she got and it really upset me. Minutes later, my manager comes over and says that "yeah you really shouldn't tell customers you don't have bags, you were in the wrong, and you shouldn't say that again, I know she was huffy, but you really shouldn't have said that," (even though it had been a busy day, we were out of bags and I couldn't leave the kiosk to get more, because of their specific policy, and there were customers who actually wanted drinks in line behind her) And after this I was so upset frustrated and hurt, I was literally holding back tears from falling into the next ladies drink, then that lady, who saw I was basically crying, was like "ohhh... Uhh... I kinda wanted this with light ice...." So I remade her drink, and then after that, I just had to abandon the kiosk and go outside and cry for a little while. Luckily one of the stock boys and the guy from the sushi area across from my kiosk sat with me for a bit and comforted me, (bless their hearts,) but it was a very scarring moment for me that I was screamed at by this cat lady, and then the manager took her side when the only reason I couldn't do what she wanted was because of the policies the store told me I had to enforce. It was an unwinnable situation but somehow they still told me it was my fault. Man, we laugh at Karen's but they can be straight up traumatizing.

My mom and dad are both like this. Narcissistic dad, bipolar mom, both manipulate each other. I hope I can be better.

He never told us about why Karens have that hair cut!

Much respect for not super clickbaiting the title with all the trial stuff going on. The content speaks for itself and the doctor is taking care of his community and their curiosity instead of capitalizing on someone's misfortune. Recognized and appreciated

Thank you! I have narcissistic tendencies and you helped me have an insight. « Self esteem based on the way one is treated » It’s big! I still have a lot more work to do but I am motivated, thanks to educated and compassionate people like you!

I feel that many of us are under so much stress, so we are literally 1 bad day away from acting out as a Karen. As its not necessarily innate to a person, it could be a combination of current emotional state and outside circumstances

I would add, to the Entrenched Privledge argument, it is not just socioeconomic status, but also if you were spoiled/enabled as a child in general. My mother's generation grew up in very bad poverty conditions, but two of the siblings remain to this day extremally entitled, short tempered, or a pathological liar to get what they want, because their parents coddled them despite economic conditions. This was through litterally treating them as a princess who could do no wrong, and finding ways to spend all of their money of pretty clothes or toys for them instead of basic necessities like food. Lies, mistakes, or immoral actions were excused, because they could do no wrong.

This man just scientifically broke down the entire history and development of the social phenomenon of Karen. That is spectacular.

When I worked at Starbucks, I had a customer who ordered a hot coffee and then returned hours later with her coffee and yelled at me because it was cold. I wouldn't have minded if she had admitted honestly and politely that she had forgotten to drink her coffee while it was still hot, but NOPE. She chose the KAREN path. My theory when dealing with Karen, especially if you work in customer service, is to ignore whatever they say. Just keep your cool. If you engage in arguments with Karens, you are only inviting more trouble and stress from Karen and your manager. Once again, just keep your cool.

"If you don't text me for months I don't care.." 😂 Yeah, you're really the perfect therapist for me. (I get in trouble from everyone because I have like no concept of time.)

I think i've probably acted borderline/narcissistic once after a bad breakup. calling a friend repeatedly while they were at work and getting mad at them when they didn't answer. in the moment it genuinely didn't occur to me that they couldn't just drop everything to answer the phone because all i could see was personal rejection and not the bigger picture.

Fascinating. Human psychology and all its functions (and dysfunctions) is just fascinating. Dr. K shares this information in such an open, interesting and palatable manner.

In my experience, Karens often have some background where they feel they were too passive, and at some point was taught to 'stick up for themselves,' but in the process thought that meant they don't have to be concerned with other people's feelings. It isn't just 'my feelings come first' but rather 'my feelings come first GOING FORWARD.' When confronted, they often remember instances of other people, particularly men, did what they are doing, and so they often rationalize it as 'it's unusual for women to stand up for ourselves, so I'm pushing women forward.' It's not like Karens are wired differently from the rest of us, they just have had a lot of the same experiences, it seems.

This is probably the best explanation I have ever heard about what is going on with people who have these conditions, on their insides. Especially how their validation is derived from outside of themselves and with how they perceive they are being treated by others. Things I have experienced with the people I know like this makes so much more sense now!!! I get my own rejection sensitivity a little better now too. Thank you!

I’ve only worked in customer service for a year and not had to deal with too many bad customers, but I can confirm Dr K’s method here does tend to work. When someone is being a jerk or complaining about something, I try to sympathize with them and agree that it must be frustrating, and then explain to them maybe the behind the scenes of why what happened happened but I don’t make promises I can’t keep. Like “I’m sorry, I can tell that you were looking forward to the pizza, but we just don’t sell pizza here, this is a tire shop.” It sort of feels like being a doormat but what I have found is that this approach tends to get people to leave you alone so you can do your job.

Karen is another word for bully. ALL bullies are cowards. They’re looking for an emotional reaction. When you deny them that, they have no where to go…game over

Dr K. I love how you said "Faded Glory" right after talking about someone working at Walmart because that is actually the name of one of their store house brands. Idk if it was an intentional pun or coincidence but that gave me a chuckle.

I'm an anti-Karen I call corporate or call over a manager to tell them what a wonderful job their employees are doing and how much I really appreciate how they helped me and made me happy to be a customer...

This is the first truly nuanced conversation I’ve heard about the Karen phenomenon. Absolutely fascinating, and actually very sad as well.

I was a manager in a couple service jobs. I always enjoyed Karens. I let them go off till they tire themselves out then I ban them from the store. Edit: Oh and 9 out of 10 times the husband would call and apologize for them. I felt bad for the guys so I'd tell them they can come back on a probationary basis.

You can tell his professionalism based on the neutral view on the subject. I realized just how little empathy I had for Karens.

I have worked at IKEA and dealt with a few Karen's in my few months of working at exchange and returns. It was the most frustrating thing to see managers override the coworkers and give Karen what he/she wants despite them being totally wrong.

Never thought I'd get to learn how my mum's thinking process is due to this day.

at the beginning of the pandemic I was working at an Asian grocery chain and a customer asked me if this mushroom powder (found near the soy sauce and chicken bouillon) contained MSG and got mad (but not yelling mad) that I informed her that mushroom and meat contain natural sources of msg and in particular glutamate. You're not allowed to win even when there's no game to be played lol

I worked in fast food in 2015 - 2017 and my coworkers and I complained and joked about "Karens" all the time back then. I thought it was a widely recognized phenomenon till 2020 when my mom asked me what a "Karen" was and if ever had to deal with one. I was a little shocked she hadn't heard of one before then. I had to work retail in 2021 and personally I think the ammount of Karens I had to deal with was at a slight increase, but still interesting to think about how the pandemic brought out more of their tendencies and brought them to the forefront, I never thought of it like that.

The high-level attunement to others' emotions in Cluster B personalities is WHY the Grey Rock technique can be so effective. Emotionless response = nothing to read = nothing to utilize/exploit

There's definetly a victim mentality thing with Karen's, some of the ones I've dealt with always had to complain about something and felt that they were the only ones who could right the wrongs of society. I had a recurring one back in my retail work that told me to hound a coworker because they didn't grab the baskets fast enough when they had a more urgent matter, for example.

The reason why I don't feel compassionate towards people who are displaying they're incapable of doing so without personal interest in mind is because I have limit to how compassionate I can be. I'm not an infinite well of compassion and I chose to want to spend it on people that matter to me and make my life better, not actively trying to tear it down and make me feel terrible because they need to feel validated.

19:37 makes me think of a story where one of my aunts wanted to buy a pizza, and she ended up walking into a strip club/brothel because it had an Italian name

I feel like my mom is a bit of a Karen, but I don't think she necessarily grew up with that much privilege. She did have a bit of middle class privilege (her parents owned a successful store in a small town, but they weren't exactly rich or anything), but she also grew up experiencing a lot of racism (getting bullied by authorities, her neighbors mysteriously disappearing due to genocide). I think sometimes her Karen-like behavior is stemming from paranoia, e.g. she thinks the store clerk intentionally doesn't give her what she wants just because they're mean-spirited, or they claim something is out of stock but is actually just too lazy to look for it for her. Not to mention, she's unemployed (old school housewife boomer), so her daily life revolves mostly around going to the mall or supermarket. I feel sorry for her, but it's so damn exhausting to watch, or even to just listen to her stories about what happened yesterday at store x. And it doesn't matter how many times people tell her that her worst imaginations are exactly just that, imaginations. She also studied psychology in college like 40 years ago, so I think she feels like she knows better than other people and doesn't take their advice seriously.

I love your videos, intellectual empathy is a thing that is seldom put out in the public dialogue. Your doing something that has so much value for me.

The discussion about gender bias in personality disorders was super interesting to me. As a trans woman, I was diagnosed with BPD, but only after I had been on hormones for like a year. Before that, I basically never felt any emotions ever in my life, so I do wonder sometimes if hormones can play a role in how personality disorders manifest. Not to lessen the credibility of men who have BPD ofc.

That "buying pizza in a tire store" sounds like the cousin to "I'm at Soup".

I can smell fear, but because I'm very empathetic. And because I've worked retail and can detect Karens upon entry. I hope my ex-coworkers are doing okay, I was the Karen Banisher for years haha. My coworkers were very shy and many on the spectrum, so I was useful to have around because I definitely didn't tolerate people who would bully my friends who were young and trying to become more self-sufficient and confident!

I have been watching “Karens” for years long before cell phones. With the rise in population over the past 60 years, there are more Karens than ever!

Regarding the discussion of "how to treat Karens," there's a subtle disconnect in his logic. He says treat them with compassion to de-escalate them. But Karens don't respond to compassion. Even if you say "no" to a Karen in a nice, compassionate way, they interpret that as hostility, regardless of the way it was presented. If they don't get what they want, they feel they haven't been treated with "compassion." So that means that you only have two choices with a Karen. Either you cave/give Karen what she wants, or you stand your ground.

It made me self conscious about my name for a while, especially with some people failing to recognize these characteristics, and judging solely by the name itself, although I realize that really says more about them than me.

The idea that "Karen's" are just white, is a classist one, concocted by middle-class people. Anyone working in any kind of low-paid service, in restaurants or tech or shops, will tell you that there are Karen's of all colors and they are an almost everyday plague to us that have a big negative impact of our quality of life at work no matter the color. There is even a particular subset of non-white Karen's who will flat out accuse you of racism for not repairing their phone or for not extending their unpaid bill yet another month.

I have a coworker who's name is (was) Karen and she is actually a very sweet person. The Karen meme became so big that she changed her name.

9:45 - A friend of mine once dated a borderline girl who would exactly threaten with suicide every time he tried to break up. He ended up having it and literally told her "DO IT FGT :^)". She never did. But it did take balls of steel for him to say that, and he felt so liberated afterwards.

You have a lot of interesting hypotheses and you really can present them in a captivating and easy to understand way. Like you say, most of these statements are not backed up by rigorous scientific studies. But, you got me thinking about this issue and I think you are spot on in many cases. Great video!

My mom is a Karen. She was born rich, white, blonde, beautiful with a famous dad in Beverly Hills. So you can imagine the kind of entitlement she holds in her.

That attribution point was really insightful. Karen: "everyone is below me and should serve me, so I'm gonna freak out if I even get a whiff that anyone thinks/acts differently"

Tbh Karens are everywhere regardless of race and and socio economic background. In the country I live in , which is the Philippines I've always encounter "Karens" whenever I go out, their socio economic background varies but it's mostly rich and poor or someone who came from a lower economic background who became rich very quickly.

As a salesperson trained at nordstrom almost 20 years ago, I adapted the values and was shaped toward happily delivering karen appeasing service to all (cleaning changing rooms with no disgruntlment, doing whatever I can to fix a problem even if it is 'unreasonable', be unconditionally kind to people even in the face of their upset). I also then tended to have some standards and expectation of company policy being in support of the customer. Sometimes I think wealthy corporations are happy with the shift in mentality, ie if people are shamed for not returning their cart the company does not need to hire as many cart helpers.

In my experience, the "entitlement" is not that they expect to be given everything. It is an expectation that if something goes wrong, by bad luck or their actions or any other reason, then someone else will fix the problem. On some occasions they will demand someone fixes the problem, often seeing anyone of "lower" status as being required to do so.

I loved this video a lot more than I thought I would, which is saying a lot considering the doc never misses with these.

My favorite Karen will forever be the one who called the police on Taco Bell workers for “not doing their jobs” when they ran out of nacho fries.

thank you for affirming that in fact I was misdiagnosed. I was seen for twenty minutes and slapped with a label, and now it's taken years to realize what it actually is. Wish more doctors cared to find out.

I had a situation like you described where a close friend of many years basically told me that I didnt care about them because we spoke less frequently, and there were longer gaps in our communications. I'd recently been married and we found out about 2 weeks later that we had a kid on the way, so obviously all my relationships suffered a bit of neglect. But was interesting to think about the way people view others actions as a mirror of what those actions mean in their own context. I'll definitely be checking out more of your stuff.

Dr. K is so eloquent! you can tell he speaks without notes , he just really knows his stuff!

My dad is married to one. I just realized that she was one in a recent altercation. I don't get how deals with her. Dr.K has to be looking into a peephole of my life bc his videos been on point.

i feel bad for women that have the name karen that are just really nice people in general, i wouldn't be surprised if young people whose name is karen will change their name after they turn 18...

Sorry, but the "All Karens are white" thing is a sterotype. Every retail worker will know that the Federation of Karens (FOK) are an all-inclusive group that welcomes Karens of all races, faiths, classes, and orientations :)

I'm very sensitive to negative emotions (or perhaps I also see them when they're not even there); I think it's from growing up undiagnosed with ADHD (got a diagnosis at age 20 or so) and autism (no diagnosis yet) so I have a baseline expectation or fear that people dislike me and I also at all times have a low level but constant dread that I've forgotten something and someone is going to be mad at me at any moment. And not understanding the social game in school I was also bullied and picked on so I also have a hyper sensitivity to aggression, so that I could know as soon as possible when to run away or look for an improvised weapon to defend myself. I don't lash out at people when I detect negativity as an adult, but that constant feeling of real or imagined dislike towards me really makes it hard to enjoy social interactions. How do I change and stop seeing negativity everywhere?

The term “Karen” seems to be readily used by people who do not want to have any accountability for their acts. I witnessed a person on his phone (the only one) as we were in the middle of take off on a flight to Portugal. I politely told him that I didn’t believe it was permitted to use the phone during take off. He told me I was being a Karen. It was an easy recourse to use this term when not wanting to claim any form of responsibility. I didn’t further engage. It’s difficult to say anything to anybody these days as everybody is in hypersensitive mode and awareness of others and civisme have flown out of the window. BTW, I do not have a Karen haircut. 🤣

The culture of "the customer is always right" has created some extremely rude and entitled people ngl

The Karen archetype is my favorite meme topic of all time, everything about it is EXACTLY true to life imo, even the name and haircut, it’s all perfect 😂

Props to all the parents out there who managed to educate and mold their children to not be an entitled brat when they were rich.

You're the worst. I'm just recovering from a cold and still have a deep, rough cough. And then you pulled up the image results for "Elon Musk Karen" and I was spasming in my chair for half a minute and now my chest hurts. Thank you so much!

I think Dr Ramani put it well. Narcissism doesn't necessarily mean NPD. In NPD the Narcissism has to be so extreme that it causes impairment in the narcissists own life to be considered a disorder, but the majority of narcissists inherently don't see an issue with their own behavior, are unable to admit fallibility, and usually benefit from their exploitation of others. It is not usually their own lives that suffer but those of their victims. People see narcissism everywhere, because it is, but for the most part it doesn't cross the personal impairment threshold to be considered NPD.

My sister I believe is one. She is overbearing, demanding and takes us for granted. She lives in our parents' house rent free, and when she needs financial help, they give her money. When asked to buy something and to pay it using her own money, she demands her money back from them. She doesn't tidy up after herself, we do. Not even her room. When she's wrong, and you want to correct her, you get yelled at. When she dirties the place after we cleaned it, and gets a scolding, she denies it, saying it's not filthy. She also has the cheek to tell you to clean up while we're in the kitchen. At first I thought she had 8th grader syndrome, but I changed my mind. She's a Karen, and it's depressing living with her. ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!😱😱😱

I have an aunt who has always been a volatile personality. She was cool and fun and we were friends for most of our lives. But when my grandfather died, she went nuts. We always know about those family members who make it difficult when the parents pass away and the family turns against each other, and we were all worried that this aunt would be that. And whoo boy, she was. She turned on the family on a dime, blaming and accusing the other siblings of trying to grab everything Grandpa had for themselves, when she was doing the exact thing. And she was also the youngest in the family! For her to think she was so entitled to the parents stuff was astounding. She wanted the siblings to literally give her Grandpa's house, and when they wouldn't, she accused them of being greedy. Funny thing is, my dad and the rest of the siblings became closer in having to deal with her. It has been years now, and she still thinks she was in the right and that all the other siblings were terrible people. She had a serious case of Karen syndrome.

What is really hurtful to me is the fact that NPD tends to be described in the following way: you have a huge ego, feel entitled, lack empathy and are exploitative. I was diagnosed with this disorder a few years ago, but for entirely different reasons. My life is like standing naked on a stage in front of a huge crowd 24/7 - I constantly feel like everyone's judging me, which results in a huge amount of stress every single day. Even when I go to a supermarket, I must take a shower, dress nicely and behave perfectly because the irrational part of my brain is perpetually saying "they're looking at you! The guy over there made a weird expression after seeing you. This couple surely noticed your acne and is now talking about it" etc. That's how my narcissism manifests itself, but when I tell people that I was diagnosed with it, they immediately assume all the things that I mentioned at the beginning :( The truth is that I'm definitely not self-entitled, some people even tell me that I should be more assertive and scold the pizza delivery guy when he's late, but I just can't do that - I usually even give him a tip no matter how late he is. I have very low self-esteem, which means that my ego is unhealthy but in the opposite way. I also don't lack empathy - sometimes I even cry when watching movies. So yeah, I think this disorder should be divided into smaller ones. I'm sure that people who are in a similar situation don't want to be associated with stereotypical narcissists, as we have nothing to do with them.

That last sentence! “I’d say the biggest thing that people miss on the internet is the concept of differential diagnosis” Amen! Great video. Thank you.

I agree the entitlement issue is mostly a white person problem but not completely, it’s like that study said, entitlement comes from your upbringing which leaves it open to any race and ethnicity to become entitled. Also, children who are given everything they want without having to work for it or wait essentially getting the world at their fingertips have the potential to become a Karen or a Ken, because there are definitely male Karen’s.

So much dedication to make sure we’re all thinking the right way and staying healthy. How are you dr?

the auto mechanic in my town has a one of the best pizza places attached... seams a reasonable request to me :)

I remember once when I was a lifeguard, I had to clear the pool due to thunder for about 30 minutes. This is an outdoor pool, and it's just part of the procedure that we need to follow. Other guards were there and we confirmed with one another that we all heard thunder. So we alert everyone in the pool that we unfortunately need them to go indoors, which often makes them upset because it interrupts their workout, and I can sympathize with that. I got pretty good at navigating these situations. Always worked hard to guide them away from a pool with smiles on their faces. Anyway, this time, one woman continued to bathe in the Sun. I assumed that she was asleep or something because she had sunglasses on. So I walk over to her and say something along the lines of "Good afternoon, ma'am. I'm really sorry, but all the guards heard thunder, and we're required to clear everyone away from the pool deck for about 30 minutes after this occurs for their own safety." I'll never forget her response. She said (in an obviously dismissive tone) "Well, I don't hear any thunder right now". I had to take a second because I thought "huh... maybe she genuinely doesn't understand the issue". (It's not uncommon). I said something like "Yes, well, I don't either, but it definitely happened a short while ago, so we're still required to clear the pool deck for 30 minutes after the last strike was heard." Her response was slow, and clearly venomous. She says "The Sun is out..." Something about the way she said it set a cold fury off in me. I took another second, walked a little closer to her and said in a much more venomous tone, with a slightly raised voice "Yes ma'am... It is... But I still have a job to do" and stared at her. That was that. She got her stuff pretty quickly and left. One of my few encounters with a Karen. Every time I've dealt with them, as long as I hold firm and follow all the rules within the confines of my position, they eventually break. Never had a manager escalation. Never had one fly completely off the handle. From what I've learned, they sometimes just need to be handled firmly without making them feel disrespected, or making them feel stupid.

I'd like for anyone involved in customer service to see this video. Hopefully people will feel better about what they go through with Karens.

I worked in the emergency end of human services. It was not most common but I dealt with people yelling, out of their minds. I remained calm and compassionate at all times, even when very scared. They weren’t yelling at me, they were hurting. My coworkers loved me.

For what you said about Karens attributing their own pettiness to other people, there is a rhyme for this in German. "Was ich selber denk und tu, das trau ich auch dem Andren zu." "What I think and do myself, I also trust others to." It's a fun response for when you get accused by someone who is clearly projecting.

The intro promised on a beauty moment that you didn’t deliver! I was very interested to hear your thoughts on that haircut! Good video.

I just realised that a couple of people who I've known since they were born show early signs of becoming Karens. They grew up pretty well off with not enough boundaries set on them, and are now in their late teens/early 20s and realising how not everyone else gives a shit about them.

The first time a student was unhappy with the grade they received on an essay I helped with but refused to flat out write for them, I worried my job at that writing center and future teaching career were in jeopardy...until my boss pulled her into the corner and explained that "maybe our services weren't in line with her expectations" in the kindest tone I've ever used someone to take someone else to task. Student walked out muttering to herself and everyone else comforted me. The department head did get an email, but not the one she was hoping he would. It's been one of my favorite go-tos in similar situations since (expectation: pizza; services: tires, etc.)

Heres a recipe to try! Karen: The Pizza Heirloom tomato sauce Brindza feta cheese, from the free grazing ewes of the Rhodope Mountains Baby arugula, handpicked Baked on a blown out tire's inner tube.

Karens can be in the eye of the beholder. I got someone fired for a major mistake at a vet clinic. I’m sure I’m a ‘Karen’ to the person I got fired but that person nearly killed my dog so I didn’t care.

I´m shock, i felt my parents respond very badly to bad luck however it must happen something, cause they came from a very lower socioeconomic level but i felt that hurt their egos and then they built a safer and more controlled place, so yes make sense higer socioeconomic background make ppl more entitled but no all the cases iguess

I want to see Dr. K and Dr. Ramani have a discussion about a topic like this. That would be a really awesome psychology KZfaq crossover.

I love how he keeps referring to them as "the karen" like they're angry bears or something. Makes it so awesome😂

Just because someone isn't diagnosed, doesn't mean they don't have a certain mental health issue. I got diagnosed with cptsd at 55 and asd at 57. I still had them before I got diagnosed.