As an Italian, I'm a natural born hand gesture black belt

Doesn't crossing your arms come across as defensive? The obvious solution isn't to cross your arms OR put your hands in your pockets. The superior choice is to put your hands in the pockets of the person you are talking to, it will convey confidence and lets them know you're the alpha.

As an alien trying to learn how to interact with humans, I would love if this guy became my tutor.

I used to use advices like this as a teenager, but as you get older it's better to just BE who you want to come off as being, and not fake it. It's much easier and not misleading. And all the little subtleties that you can't fit in a video will also start to play out in your character.

I may have only looked at the thumbnail but i have to strongly disagree. Putting your hands in other peoples pockets to assert dominance is a textbook alpha move

1. Scanning the room: you come across as boring. When you are in conversation then be in it. 2. Not letting people interrupt: Focus on one person while having one on one especially, signals you out as leader 3. Leaning against something: Lean against the BAR(good example :-D ). you are the center point 4. Having your hands in pocket: Signals nervousness 5. Using precise and expansive gesture: you seem more confident 6. Hanging your Head: it makes the problem seems worse. Instead smile, eye contact. 7. The eyebrow flash: communicates friendly ness. My weird passion is to share summaries like Started doing it on my channel with PDF summaries.🧐

As a level 500 alpha I can say that the best way to convey dominance is to pee yourself while looking an adversary straight in the eye and not blinking.

As someone who knows what violence is, I will never not scan the room or area periodically. It's just a habit and one day it might save people's lives so who cares. The world isn't safe you should always be watching your surroundings to some degree.

I can't believe that you do the whole talk in one run. I can't see any interruptions in the video!

So don’t take my pants off and put my hands in the pocket. Got it.

"Don't scan the room". For someone who's been a musician for a very long time, it's ultimately difficult not to scan surroundings subconsciously while talking to people.

Man, I so appreciate this channel. Being on the Autism Spectrum makes it really difficult to have social interactions and sometimes I don't act "appropriately" but I'm extremely good at mimicking and learning principles. These sorts of videos have made it easier for me to integrate into social situations to the point that people don't realize that I'm on the spectrum ... in fact, people are shocked when they learn that I am. Thanks for making life a little easier for me.

So much of communication happens on a nonverbal and energetic level. Fascinating to tune into this level of reality.

*Being confident is not only in how you speak but in how you move your body. Stand tall.*

1. 0:38 - Scanning the room (while engaging with someone). 2. 1:41 - Dont let someone interrupt you while you're talking to someone else. 3. 3:00 - Don't Lean (closing someone in) Do lean casually at a bar/table etc. 4. 4:12 - No hands in pockets. (5) Do use hand gestures during conversation 6. 5:21 - Shame. Hanging your head for any reason for any mistake. Instead make eye contact, smile, apologize. 7. 6:39 - (Do) Eye Brow Raise Something like that .

As I'm a naturally confident person I do the eyebrow raise a lot... I never realised that you usually only do it with friends. I do it every few sentences in any conversation lol

Sometimes I feel weird watching Charisma on Command. Learning how to be good in conversation, or even how to appear attractive, like I'm some kind of alien or robot. But once I thought about it, I realized it's not a bad thing to want to become a source of positivity for the people around you. I'm watching these videos to improve my relationships with others - it's not like I'm doing any harm by making both myself and whoever I'm talking to feel better about ourselves.

As I grew out of my asocial younger self and became more social I realized I probably naturally mimicked those trait from people I found pleasant to talk/hang out with.

They eyebrow flash is subconscious. This interaction often happens automatically to convey interests when walking by another person. That and smiling.

The number 7 made me smile. Today I ran into this girl I haven't seen in a little long (she would work for the same company I work for and she simply disappeared). Long story short, I stepped into the bank and she was there, I looked her in the eyes, lifted my eyebrows and she smiled straight away. You definitely come across as friendly when you lift your eyebrows when running into someone.

We want a video on tommy shelby from peaky blinders

6- if you DO happen to forget and lower your head in shame, EXAGGERATE IT ... it really shows that you don't mind making mistakes in front of others, that you're okay with their judgments and all, and it really makes the situation more light and funny

1st habit that will make you attractive: be gentle with everybody. It's this simple. You don't have to change yourself, as a matter of fact it would be way better if you stay just the way you are.... only more polite.

Scan the room. If you go in a room and you don't scan it, if you don't check your surroundings, you look avoidant. More information is always better. This is one of the reasons why eye contact is important too. Small miss otherwise great video. Never let passive aggression pass!

Me watching this and pretending that I go out and have friends

Dude, you made me realise that my body language has turned me into some kind of freak! However, with the guidance from your videos, I'm going to learn to embrace that. Thank you 🙂

Crossing your arms I understand. But It's comfy. People at my work cross their arms all the time and we're all doing fine with communication. I think it's best to add up all the cues and your gut to access the situation. Just like this video was explaining how different scenarios for directing attention. Experience in social settings is key!

Although I'm not an expert, what I think the core principles of these 7 sign languages are: 1. Don't express a sense of being lost and uncertain. Makes you stick out like a sore thumb. 2. Be in control of your flow of communication, and direct the attention and appreciation to someone else if they are in need of it. 3. Give a sense that you are relaxed in the situation, which implies confidence and makes people not afraid to approach you. 4.1. Do not express nervousness, which makes you look vulnerable and easy to take advantage of, or, for crossing arms, 4.2. do not appear wary and defensive, makes yourself harder to approach. 5. Be precise and clear with the way you act, gives no room for doubt, and tells that you know what you're talking about (and also applies when admitting that you don't know much about a subject) 6. Don't be overly apologetic, makes you come across as unconfident and negative, and makes people uneasy. Apologise accordingly, depending on the severity. 7. Express interest in the person you are interacting with, makes them feel appreciated and makes you feel warmer and more approachable.

Bro, how do you do that in one take?

I think you just have to be comfortable in your own skin and environment, and THEN you will appear confident. I don't think you can fake your confidence by doing/not doing the things mentioned. I would prioritize being comfortable before being confident

I scan the room because, unlike a lot of people, I like to not be totally oblivious to my surroundings.

I worked in a place where people would interrupt or barge into a conversation two other people are having. It was a work place culture thing. It was the height of rudeness as far as I was concerned. Then one day, when this interruption occurred, So, in the end, I just turned around and walked off. I continued to do this until people got the message.

Hey Charlie, you might find this interesting. You are absolutely right that you can't force the eyebrow trick without looking like a weirdo. However, I was reading in a book the other day that if you use a simple visualization trick you can sort of trick you brain into creating that body language naturally. The trick was that before you approach someone, visualize them as and old friend you haven't seen in years and you will naturally have warmer and more comfortable body language.

All these different tips have helped me SO much over the summer. I started the summer as a friend to a LOT of people, but never really the center, or the person many focused on, in most social interactions. This one girl went from being a friend, to being legitimately interested in me, and I couldn't be more happy! Thanks again dude! 👏👏👏

I look away sometimes because its easier to think about a more complicated subject than it is to concentrate all my brain energy on making sure I'm faking my facial expression correctly. Also most of the time I don't want to send the message that I'm friendly because then people want to talk to me. NO! I'm busy and I hate small talk. It has nothing to do with being weak, shy, or awkward....its a deliberate choice because at work I'm CONSTANTLY expected to converse with people......its draining. Silence is a much more appealing thing to me as I enter my 40's.

Number 6 happened to me today, we were in computer class and there were some projects that the teacher had built and they were kind of worth a lot to him.. we were all touching the projects and when I held one and put it back, it slipped and fell off the shelf, the teacher yelled "Who told you guys you could touch them?!" even though he had let us.. anyways, point is I didnt hang my head I had waited for the teacher to walk over to me and i tried helping him pick it up and apologized , Guys never be ashamed of a mistake, but be always be respectful

Me to girl: hey let's meet up sometime Girl: yea sure we can check who else is free *the pain*

Instead of ignoring someone when they interrupt a conversation, can you just tell them to wait for a minute?

"Charisma on Command" is a brilliant series. Thank you for all your content!

As an ex marine we don’t lean on stuff bc it’s considered lazy. We don’t use our eyebrows when we talk or precise or open gestures with our hands when we talk. We don’t fluctuate our voice we put base in our voice to sound confident stern and to show we are in control and maintain control of ourself and our situation. Not to control the other person or anything just it’s to demand respect and to be taken seriously. Hands in pockets are a no go. So many times during a field exercise and our hands were cold we put our hands in or armpits bc then your hands are close to your core. When you’re rally cold your pocket won’t do much for you anyway. But when we cross our arms our chin is still up, back straight and shoulders back so in result our arms come up without effecting the rest of our torso. And your head never goes down and when someone is speaking you maintain eye contact either constant or you only look away when studying/scanning a room. We’re always scanning the room. I never sit with my back to the door and I always know exactly how many people are in the room and when someone comes in and leaves. Ik if someone sitting down behind me is facing me, adjacent, or if their back is to me. Ik what pocket their phone is in Ik which part of the chair their purse is on. Ik when they reach in their purse (without staring or even looking at them at all), Ik which pocket their wallet is in where their keys are if they have a gun etc. I was in McDonald’s the other day and 5 people came in after I just started eating and even now I still know what each person ordered and Ik which ones didn’t finished their food and the vehicle they drove. I even remember what they were wearing. 2 had new iPhones, 1 had a Samsung Note and the other 2 never took out their phones but judging from the bulk in their pocket their phones had otterboxes. When I’m in a group of people talking I’m the quiet snd reserved and gathering data and analyzing them. I can tell a lot about them just by letting all of them speak and I’m a mystery to them bc I’m quiet but clearly not bc I’m shy or nervous bc my posture and stoic look lets them know just bc he’s quiet doesn’t mean what it usually means. I take up space, feet apart and knees out when I sit back straight and chin up. As a man never cross your legs are close your knees close together knees to be been wider then your hips both feet flat on the floor. And when someone tried to interrupt I don’t let them. I talk over them while maintaining speed of speech and don’t change positions. And I put even more base in my voice. They realize pretty quick not to interrupt me. And if they keep trying I call them out on it putting them in the spotlight which will embarrass them. And since it embarrassed them it’ll stick in their brain to let me finish before they start talking

I gotta stop holding empty pants up with my hand in them. Guys help

Listening to the person you're talking to, engage 100% showing real interest, there's nothing worst than feeling ignored. Pay attention to your body language, be aware of it because it really says a lot :)

Such a good list thank you!!!! I have experienced or done a lot of these and they are always really difficult. Also learned something new. Great video to help us stop from being annoying and also to know how to interact with people who are unaware they are doing these things!!!

I have to say - you have the most useful channel in the universe :) thanks for putting it out there! I'm getting new perspectives and confirmation to existing ones in every video. thanks!

Only a true fan knows this is a repost

Hey Charlie. Your charisma breakdown videos are some of my favourites. Craig Ferguson is someone I really admire for his quick wit. I would love to see a charisma breakdown of him sometime in the future.

i love #7! It's a subtle gesture to loosen up and assume familiarity with the person you want to talk to.

Nice job making people feel like a loser

I think it's really cool that you insert those little cut scenes so that we can exactly see what you mean. Plus, it makes the video more colorful and diverse. I would like to see more of that!

I love your videos. Great lessons, in easy-to-digest form. I've been watching you for 3 or maybe more years now, and I'm 16 so thats basicallly my adolescent life. I am very grateful to have found you. You helped me develop my social skills, and you've greatly influenced the way i view the world. Thank you very much, and keep up this great work you do!

Though your analyses of celebrity's charisma get more views, these types of videos are incredibly informative and helpful. Keep up the good work.

Being an anxious person, worrying about my body language is one of my biggest setbacks to be honest. Let me explain. They say when engaging in conversation, to maintain eye contact, and to REALLY listen to what the other person is saying. It's very hard to put all of my thoughts and attention on someone else fully, when I am too focused on maintaining positive looking body language. I get too much into my own head about how I look in any conversation to even truly listen and understand the person I am engaging with in the present moment. Which in turn makes me extremely anxious, and I can't concentrate on what's really important. Then I become so anxious that this is the only thing that becomes most apparent. My anxiousness is the last thing I want to convey, but being too much inside my own head, and worrying about what others think about me at any given time seems more troublesome than just listening. It is a vicious cycle. I don't want to think about whether crossing my legs comes off as snobbish. Why can't people just show how they are really feeling, while of course remaining respectful and polite. Inside of hiding how we really feel to just 'seem' confident temporarily? Your body language will only then be 100% honest. What do I do?

Thank you so much, your videos have really helped me daily, keep up the good work!

I love this stuff, it’s so interesting. Thank you for sharing!

*This was top notch info C-o-C!* Practice makes perfect and eventually it just becomes part of you

It's always a cost to implementing these skills as it requires us to think about what we're doing. That's why we can't rush the process, focus on one thing at the time and slowly you'll start to get it right. Or it's just me who is a slow learner, considering I read my first book on body language ten years ago and still have a lot to improve;).

The non verbal cues that we give off to other people come from our deeply held beliefs, those beliefs come from our character, and that character is shaped by our habits and patterns.

Crossing hands is a form of self-soothing, which I either caught up from a video you have made or from another source, not quite sure. Keep up the good work with your videos good sir. 😀

I am very guilty of #1, and it's because I really don't know how to connect with the person I'm talking to. Can't understand where the line is between friendly curiosity and nosiness; and also I often just don't know what to ask people about themselves. So uncomfortable silence happens, and I escape by looking away.

My Labor Day body language says I love eating hamburgers, hot dogs, and guacamole! Have a great one, kids!

You know you could've worn the pants with your hands in the pockets... in the thumbmail

Re-upload or not, great content! Plus it doesn't hurt to be reminded of a few tips and tricks 🤗 thanks Henry! Oops, I mean Charlie! 😏

I have the image in my mind of Charlie spending 30 minutes in the bathroom doing weird eyebrow gestures and shouting HEY BUDDY to himself and I like it

Could you breakdown Elvis Presley he has such a great stage presence

Last weekend I‘ve been to a Party at a bar and I did the eye brow flash consciously a couple of times when greeting or trying to communicate nonverbally with friends across the room. I felt comfortable doing it, so I don’t necessarily think that this behavior is wrong, it just needs to fit the situation and if done correctly (confident and willingly) I don‘t see any problem in doing it 🤷🏼‍♂️

Me: **looking at the thumbnail** My mind: "Stop taking off your pants just because you want to put your hand in the pocket."

For the second one, I actually never in my life let that happen. I just get annoyed when me and my friend are interrupted during conversation. Because of that, every time someone attempts to do that I say "Wait, hold up. We're having a conversation here, tell me when I'm done."

I cannot express how nice it is to watch a video that is not full of jump cuts and without music. On another note, the hand thing.. sometimes I do t know what to do with them when you’re not talking! So usually I try to have a coffee or a beer in hand 😆.. when I don’t I’m lost. Help!!

Here in New Zealand, a pronounced eyebrow lift usually accompanied with a little upward nod of the head is a common casual and informal greeting or acknowledgement. It is rooted in the indigenous Maori culture.

You can’t make a video about how to come off as confident without being confident yourself. They won’t believe you. Which is why you’ve done it perfectly. Your videos really help me learn a lot about being less anxious around groups and social events. Also becoming more believable even when lying. I’m not sure if the “name mistake” example was a lie or truth because you’ve said it in a way that is believable. And that is a very useful tool in many situations (Not saying the use is for good or bad). But it is a tool, that not many people realize they have and can use to their fullest potential. So I hope that I can become one of few people that can use this to my advantage

if you don't know what to with your hands just become loose, it's hard but if there's nothing to really do with your hands it's totally fine to not think about it

I can't stop laughing at this channel's solution to "we gotta show 'hands inside your pockets' BUT ALSO we gotta have our handsome guy in the thumbnail!"

when i saw the thumbnail i thought it was about taking your pants off in public

"TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE" shakespeare

the bit on shame is very helpful! i tend to be overly ashamed when at work, often over trivial mistakes. And i can tell it never makes a good impact. thanks as always!

What about when you walk in to a group of people you hardly know, and the one person is talking non-stop and everyone else looks either bored or as if they can't take it? Now, I don't know if I acted correctly. But I joined the conversation and focusing my attention on the person talking a lot. After a bit, I politely interrupted her. I then proceeded to ask around, "What about you? What are your thoughts on that?" until I slowly got everyone talking and introducing themselves and their ideas. I thought, maybe I was rude. But, honestly, I can't take it when the one person dominates a conversation with a whole group of people. So, what are the best approaches to not look rude and as if I'm challenging the person? Thank you. Great video.

I think ve could learn a lot from Frank Underwood (House of Cards) I'd appreciate if you did an analysis on him.

Good tips. It's never about words you saying but rather your voice, emotions and body language! Keep it up. Love from a small youtuber :)

I actually think that hands in pockets are absolutely normal and appropriate when for example waiting for a bus. Looking around while talking to people isn't just weird, it's rude. People actually demand an eye contact, because it gives them a chance to perceive non verbal communication or to spot a lie. Everything other mentioned is a sure thing.

I can only imagine having a conversation with this guy lol

The only one i disagree with is the first one, scanning the environment is actually a survival mechanism the rest make sense but im not so sure about the first one. scanning the environment especially when in a new place is actually very important you can take note of an exit of a place or what could be dangerous to your individual.

IDK? Sometimes it's nice when everyone isn't the same!

Hay your next video should be for students because school recently started and I think a tutorial on "ice breakers"

An easy and effective fix for having your hands in your pocket: Put your hands in your pockets, but leave your thumbs out and keep your fingers straight (instead of curled in). This simple change will actually make you come across as more confident! You’ll see the difference if you go in front of the mirror and look at yourself putting your hands completely in your pocket, and then making the change above.

As a portuguese speaker, CU (charisma university) is a heck funny acronym to come up with. XD

I think it would be nice and beneficial to consciously include the quick eyebrow raise when greeting people you know. Just like you make it an effort to smile (if you don't naturally do so)

Studying body language *tells more about a person* than actual words that come out of the mouth, trying to tell something about themselves. *See what they do, not what they say.*

And what if someone has just their thumbs in their pockets? Same as hands or is that a safe(r) zone?

I actually use the eyebrow flash all the time. I picked it up during covid when we were all forced to wear masks.. now I see other coworkers using it too..

*body language often speaks louder than words* 💪

Alright fine. I'll stop carrying my pants and placing my hands in the pockets

My body language is pretty good according to this guy. My only major problem is hands in the pockets. I do that a lot because I *am* nervous. I'm extremely introverted and have social anxiety. But I guess I'm good enough at faking it because most people peg me as an extrovert. I'll try working on the pockets thing more.

I prevent myself form putting my hand in my pocket by stuffing the pockets with phone and wallet

Can you analyze Brad Pitt's character in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. "Cliff Booth" is one of the most charismatic alpha males I've seen in a long time.

I like resting my thumbs in my belt loops. Hands still visible. During active conversation is different though It's just that standing around without anywhere to rest your hands is super uncomfortable

Having your hands in your pockets does not mean you're nervous. You can be relaxed and comfortable.

I feel like even before watching this right now, I've intuitively just learned to do this stuff. Even as isolated and socially shy as I can be, I feel like all of this is just stuff I've intuitively been doing more and more when I AM in social settings. I tend to be very BIG and expansive with my movements and tend to like to have a very specific focus. I think definitely, even if folks are shy, doing some of these things can make you FEEL more confident.

For some reason I always put my hands in my pocket it’s just a habit

I never stop talking with someone when my phone rings. Never! the days when few people had the expensive, heavy, handheld cell phones are OVER. It was a status symbol that only “important” people had. So other people would be polite and say nothing when the stranger on the phone interrupts. Now people grant permission by saying “do you need to take that”? I enjoy saying no. And I turn off my phone ringer so it won’t happen again. Same for text messages. They can wait.

You know i watch alot of educational channels like kurzgesagt and vsauce, but this is one of the few channels that actually has really practical uses. Your stuff are some of my favourite videos and that have helped me personally alot. So thanks