The Self-Care Trap: How It's Holding You Back & How to Break Free

  Рет қаралды 11,562

lost in admiration

lost in admiration

Күн бұрын

#personalgrowth #selfcare #mentalhealth
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Self-care got so popular and used in so many conflicting contexts that I sometimes get confused as to what it truly means.
So recently I asked myself:
- am I really doing it right? or am I just being completely delusional here?
- is my self-care actually doing what I think it is doing? what is the desired effect vs the actual effect?
Well, the findings were not great. From binge watching shows to acting like I am fine when I am clearly not, there is just so much going on here - and this is why I made this video.
So welcome to the looming disaster of my life under the pretext of self-care.
SHOP MY GEAR 📷:
Everything listed here --amzn.to/49MnQrl
🎶 MUSIC I USE 🎶 (1st week free) share.epidemicsound.com/6dznmt
📚 MY FAVOURITE PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT BOOKS 📚
amzn.to/3wzwydH
Let's get to know each other:
✉️ daria@lostinadmiration.com
Instagram: / lostinadmiration
TikTok: / lostinadmiration
Filmed & edited with the help of my partner:
‪@KarolPlucinski‬
PS: Links included in this description may be affiliate links. If you purchase a product with these links, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. I appreciate your support! :)
00:00 looming disaster
0:52 self-isolation
2:12 self-indulgence
3:36 self-sabotage
5:25 toxic positivity
7:28 productivity obsession
8:45 the rollercoaster ride

Пікірлер: 104
@KarolPlucinski
@KarolPlucinski Ай бұрын
the most relatable for me is productivity obsession. To the point where I try to optimize everything in my life and it's becoming exhausting
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
so many people say that we need space for boredom or some unstructured play time / experimentation time... and rest! we are not machines in the end :) thanks for sharing your experience!!!
@klekot53
@klekot53 Ай бұрын
I agree Karol. And I think it’s not the first time I agree with you on something related to the video on this channel. We must have something in common. Would be nice to chat with you one day.
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
@@klekot53 I think I can make it happen :D
@LaytonObserves
@LaytonObserves Ай бұрын
Your production value is sensational. Really makes you stand out above the rest.
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
That just means the world to me, thank you! Also we are two people working on this (not full time though) so this helps
@rozennrd4802
@rozennrd4802 Ай бұрын
I'm kind of an introvert, but I would say I have a balance. To be fair, I now live with another introvert and a cat so it may be helping me. Thing is, I used to have a lot of stuff to do all the time. Now my workload is milder (not mild, milder) and I work during the day and don't bring work home most of the time. I earn just enough to live without worrying too much and save a little. I have quite a few hobbies that I've been circling through for some years now : music, crochet, painting, tending to plants, reading, gaming, and sport. Each of them can be an outlet for my emotions, a sociability vector, or a way to recharge alone in my flat. I also have some friends whom I manage to see from time to time, be it over a drink or by organizing tea parties (we do have this at home, we cook some sweets, make some tea and talk, that's cheap and a great way to maintain connections). I still love my job and also have side projects related to it. I've been organizing my life in a way that if I don't show up, it's okay most of the time. I take sport classes, but i pay them by the hour as i book them : if i don't feel like it or am short on funds, i don't book. I don't set deadlines. I'm focusing more on "doing things that make me happy" and know that if a side project makes me happy I will get there eventually. Otherwise, well, I'm not paid to do it, so I should enjoy what I do with my free time. I still tend to my home and clean but I don't stress too much over it : cleaning is self care, it's not the end of the world if I miss a day or two because I'm busy doing other things. I focus on building healthy habits for myself, and small achievable goals. I don't do to do lists anymore, and when I do, I see them as options and the goal is to do three of them. Three tasks is a small amount of tasks, it's more motivating than seing a wall of tasks to do in front of me. I prioritize and try to have as much free time as possible while showing up at work and doing things I must do.
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Honestly this sounds so balanced and lovely! And it’s such a dream to have a job you love, that’s not too stressful and that pays just about enough! It would definitely be my dream :) also tea parties sound amazing. Definitely something I would enjoy too! Was so happy to hear about your life!!! Well done and thank you for sharing 🥰❤️
@marianapereirae
@marianapereirae Ай бұрын
“Progress over perfection” has been my motto for years! I first heard it on the movie “The equalizer” but not sure if it’s the right reference to it anyway it’s the best quote!
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
true..! action movies can have surprising life wisdom haha :D I love scifi and survivalist movies too :)
@Lusomad_
@Lusomad_ Ай бұрын
I've also found it challenging to share negative emotions because of not wanting to spread them, which in turn has led to self-isolation. 😅 thank you for the great video and takeaways!
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I know how it feels! We want to protect others or not feel like we are brining bad vibes. But so many times when I chose to share / explain a bit I felt like people appreciated the vulnerability! Thank you for sharing your story too 🥰❤️
@conniethelittleredfox
@conniethelittleredfox Ай бұрын
That book seems really interesting! I would appreciate a video on it 🥰
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Great to hear! I’ll add to my video prep list! Thank you 😊
@itsanev13
@itsanev13 Ай бұрын
Currently dealing with self-hatred and sabotaging my self and the only thing that “helps” me is being constantly productive. I really don’t understand anything and how to deal with everything, guess the answer is time, but who knows😅
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I had something similar and in my case it was because I only proved my worth by being productive/studying/working ever since I was young, so that kind of merged into my identity. It felt so uneasy to not do things or rest, like I needed to make up for it somehow. So I needed a lot of inner work to realise my worth is also from other things, being kind, liking animals and nature, taking care of myself, being a friend... lots of things not related to work. I do loving kindness meditations that my therapist told me to do and some mindfulness to discredit self-critical thoughts. it is indeed a slow process but there is hope!
@thatsberry
@thatsberry Ай бұрын
Watching this video I could sit down with a sheet of paper with each point that you discussed and go „check!”. Been there, done that. Sometimes I’m still doing some of the things that you described. It helps so much knowing that I’m not alone :)) I love your videos - they are filled with so much wisdom and visually pleasing at the same time. It’s like a talk with a friend that goes through similar experiences in their lives❤
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I am so so happy you say that - I really would hope to have a little online friends community here to help each other out :) To be honest, I don't think I will ever 100% stop doing all of these things - seems kind of impossible and I guess everyone slips up here and there. But I think that knowing our patterns, especially the negative ones, can help us manage them, control them so that they don't take over!
@camilifiu
@camilifiu Ай бұрын
Thank god I clicked on this video. I was a little overwhelmed about that kind of videos about self care but this is actually the best one. 👌🏻 ❤. Thank you. 😊
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I am so glad you enjoyed it! have a lovely day!
@idaliarojas1159
@idaliarojas1159 Ай бұрын
I'm amazed by the quality of your videos and editing, and not to say that I enjoy the kindness and wisdom of each video. Congratulations, I hope you keep it up with the great work!
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Honestly means the world - thank you so much for the support :)
@dariapremium
@dariapremium Ай бұрын
take a chance on yourself, or somebody else - even if it means going outside of your comfort zone!
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
😍🥰
@TheGabygael
@TheGabygael Ай бұрын
yesterday i finally wrote and printed the motivation letter for a job application i've been "working on" for two weeks, and more importantly i did it by sittin in front of my desk for two hours without letting myself get distracted. I expected huge relief, turns out i only felt average the entire afternoon, was grumpy that i had to o to my grandma's place because i didn't want to socialise and i hadn't had anything to do for myself the entire day. I struggle to wind down so going and socialising actually helped me break away from the rest of the day. In the evening i felt ready to do anything : i need to access my priorities (deep down i know what i have to do and doing the rest will only make me restless) ; i need an activity to break my "to do" day and my "vibing around" day, preferably something outside, i love to walk, want to pick up an aerobic activity to help my singing and mental health
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
wow that sounds like such a milestone! well done you for truly taking care of yourself and breaking the negative patterns. funny thing, so often I feel so down just by thinking about what I need to do rather than just doing it... honestly, really well done for being so disciplined and motivated!
@lindaheredia7900
@lindaheredia7900 Ай бұрын
The quality of your videos is amazing. You are inspiration
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Thanks so so much! Means a lot
@leshamininatesan
@leshamininatesan Ай бұрын
Your recent videos are so exceptionally and creatively made. And the things you shared was also so great! Keep going❤🎉
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
This honestly means so much! I have been working hard on my craft and skills and put in many hours into both planning, the content and production so the fact that it shows really makes my day! Thank you so much
@olainthewild6831
@olainthewild6831 Ай бұрын
Hi Daria, a fellow London-based introvert here :) As always, an amazing video! I can't see you little microphone listed under your amazon link, it seems really good! If it didn't pick up noise in Picadilly, I guess it would be useful while filming in my garden :) If you have a minute, could you let me know what the brand is? thanks!
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Hi Ola - lovely to meet you! So I have a wireless DJI Mic, and they recently released a V2 version that seems much improved amzn.to/3xcGDxg The mic is good but picks up a fair amount of background noise. It's always a good idea to apply noise reduction software during editing. Nowadays, almost all editing software has this feature, and since we use DaVinci Resolve, we used "Voice Isolation." Also there is an extra mic muffer I use if there is a lot of wind :) hope this helps! what do you use it for? do you create content too? :)
@samm1634
@samm1634 Ай бұрын
I didn’t think I would relate to this video and yet I definitely did! Another amazing video 👌🏻👌🏻✨
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I am so glad it was a good surprise! Thank you for watching ❤️🥰
@calebgodard4554
@calebgodard4554 Ай бұрын
Great video once again! Unfortunately pretty relatable at times but great takeaways. Thank you
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Look, if you scored 'at times' it seems pretty good to me :D I got 5/5 :D thank you so much for watching and the support :) hope you have a good week Caleb!
@VasilisDeerlington
@VasilisDeerlington Ай бұрын
Yay a new vid! I love your videos 😭
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Thank you for saying this! ❤️🥰 means a lot
@peaches039
@peaches039 Ай бұрын
This felt like a small movie. Love the editing and variation of clips, brilliant! ♥
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
That’s so lovely and encouraging to hear - thank you 😊😍🥰
@mdbarton1979
@mdbarton1979 Ай бұрын
Billiant! Your videos are just sooo good. I relate to so much of this. Thank you :)
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
This is just a balm for my heart - thank you so much! 😊 I appreciate it ❤️
@verazagorodnova8727
@verazagorodnova8727 Ай бұрын
Such a well filmed video and it’s extremely relatable. Thank you for this wonderful video! ❤
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Thank you for saying this! Definitely makes me feel less alone! 🥰❤️ have a lovely day!
@cretokasuto8961
@cretokasuto8961 Ай бұрын
Your consistency is admirable and we're here for it... *plus the quality is SUPREME😢❤
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Thank you!!! I wish so so much I could do more and more often but well, it is what it is :D the funny thing is I work on these so long by the time I post I am so so sick of my own voice and the video itself, I can't even tell if it is any good haha :D so it is extremely nice and motivating to know you like it
@JimmyDean404
@JimmyDean404 Ай бұрын
Another great video with a great message. I would definitely love to hear what you say on finances. Congratulations on 30k! Well deserved!
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Thanks Jimmy :) I am still a finance newbie, never grew up around people who had knowledge in that area (quite the opposite) and did not study anything related so I still feel like am ages behind. KZfaq comes in sooo handy with these topics, used to watch @steveantonioni cash college but he did not upload in the last 7 months :(
@carineazevedo13
@carineazevedo13 Ай бұрын
What a great video!!! Great filming, great editing and content! Wonderful. Thank you so much
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
That’s so encouraging to hear - thank you so so much! If there is ever a specific video you’d like me to make - please let me know! ❤️
@cwestover5706
@cwestover5706 Ай бұрын
Your translations are bomb ❤
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Thank you so much!!! :)
@fatimaemad2183
@fatimaemad2183 Ай бұрын
I watch you from that area, thank you for the alerts. I will try to behave well and focus on my social relationships.
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I am rooting for you! It’s not easy sometimes, but don’t get overwhelmed - small steps regularly matter! Thank you for being here and let me know if I can ever help!
@fatimaemad2183
@fatimaemad2183 Ай бұрын
@@lostinadmiration I'll proceed with caution, I'm grateful 💗
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
@@fatimaemad2183 stay well and happy my friend!
@giuliodigiacomo
@giuliodigiacomo Ай бұрын
Always so insightful and relatable! I loved it! Also, very nice transitions and creative shots :)
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
thanks Giulio :) we appreciate the support
@Marie-kw9pl
@Marie-kw9pl Ай бұрын
Amazing Video! There is so much truth in it, just wow
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I always hope people won't be able to relate to everything in the video and hope I am the only one who did all these things :D but I do feel a bit less lonely knowing that a part is relevant to others and I am not alone in my weirdness/imperfection :) thanks for watching!!!
@anisa2273
@anisa2273 Ай бұрын
very important wake up call this was
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Spoken like true Yoda! Thank you so much :) :)
@anisa2273
@anisa2273 Ай бұрын
@@lostinadmiration lol ur welcome!
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
@@anisa2273 have a great week :)
@angelino4753
@angelino4753 Ай бұрын
*Daria, your videos are magical and super interesting in all visual and intellectual aspects. It took me a while to watch your video because I had some tattoos, so I'm recovering and letting them heal. Returning to the subject of your video, I am amazed at how deep you are in your research on the subject and even more so when it comes to psychology. Therefore, I say that you are an incredible person, you are evolving in a wonderful way. Your videos are so magical and surreal. congratulations congratulations congratulations* *About the video, sometimes we need to face our fears in every way and we don't need to have large numbers of friends, but rather people we can count on in crucial and special moments.* *You are the best one*
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Thank you Angelino for your kind words! How is your tattoo healing? What did you get? I would love to get a tattoo one day!
@angelino4753
@angelino4753 Ай бұрын
@@lostinadmiration I had the opportunity to close the forearm, I did one on the chest and neck and in the end they all have good meanings and it was a pretty incredible thing. No, I look forward to seeing you with your new tattoos in the near future. Do you already have any specific ideas about your tattoos?
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
@@angelino4753 Not really, I know that body stretches in pregnancy so maybe I will only do them after I have had kids one day :) we will see! it won't be anything big or visible for sure. and wow, you have done so much - it must have been painful! but I am so happy you like the final look :)
@angelino4753
@angelino4753 Ай бұрын
@@lostinadmiration Amen ♥️ may you soon form a family and yes, soon you will have the opportunity to get your tattoos, there are many small tattoos that are beautiful. and the pain was very calm hahaha
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
@@angelino4753 thank you and glad to hear it did not hurt too much :)
@scottaltham6189
@scottaltham6189 Ай бұрын
Did you get up at like 5am to do that quiet London shot? Top quality as always
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Hmmmm yes I did 😅 I did around 6/7 so that the difference in light is not so jarring. There were a few people still, had to remove them in after effects! I first did the quiet shot, went to the park to do next segment and then came back to the square once it was busy. I forgot to arrange my hair the same way though haha. There was too much to think about for my brain! And thank you Scott!
@scottaltham6189
@scottaltham6189 Ай бұрын
@@lostinadmiration Now that's commitment! The slick scene transitions didn't go unnoticed either. Well played!
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
@@scottaltham6189 so happy to hear - thank you!!!
@vishalramnani1420
@vishalramnani1420 Ай бұрын
Other than the video, I am just amazed with how much effort you put in your editing. ❤ Are you a perfectionist?
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Yeah a bit 🙋🏼‍♀️ wish I wasn’t though! Working on this for sure :D and thank you!
@klekot53
@klekot53 Ай бұрын
0:20 assistant to the regional manager
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
You got so far 10/10 Easter eggs 🥰❤️
@klekot53
@klekot53 Ай бұрын
@@lostinadmiration 🤩
@andreescalona8902
@andreescalona8902 Ай бұрын
How sure I was that I could do anything on my own; how much did my self-esteem suffer when I couldn't
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I understand… I also struggled with hyper independence. Took so so much to accept support. Learning that accepting help does not mean that I am a burden or failure. But I feel that realizing our patterns is a great first step towards good changes! Thank you for being here and opening up too 🥰❤️ sending love your way
@jivati
@jivati Ай бұрын
Wow! Excellent. How did you make the Trafalgar Square empty?
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Soo… went at 6 am. Filmed the ‚very lonely’ bit. Went to the park, where I filmed the next segment.. and then went back to the same spot. Filmed the rest. There were still like 2 people in the morning but I removed them in after effects. And I also had to adjust color and lighting to make it look similar. I did change my hair position though, there were too many things to control haha
@farahamin9670
@farahamin9670 Ай бұрын
The view from u in the garden in the morning and you're wearing a green dress that look absolutely stunning on you just graceful and the flowers on the ground And like The camera view For real it's beautiful, I could listen to you talk about anything like this
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I was so lucky with nice weather and light :) thank you so much and I am glad you liked it :)
@wiolamysza1490
@wiolamysza1490 Ай бұрын
Love love love ❤❤
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Thank you Wiola 🥰
@ladybrooks3885
@ladybrooks3885 Ай бұрын
Wonderful video
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I appreciate it! Thank you !
@Didicorso
@Didicorso Ай бұрын
1:23 really nice shot!! Is AI for Premiere Pr that good or was this taken very early in the morning ??
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Thank you! So.. it is a bit of both. To make my life easier, I did go at 7 am to the square first thing but there were still like 2-3 people. Then I went to the park to film the next part. And then came back around 10 to film the rest of the busy part at the square. Then we used the footage to edit people out :) I forgot to put my hair in the same way haha there was too much to think about!
@Didicorso
@Didicorso Ай бұрын
@@lostinadmiration Nice! Congrats for the video/editing.
@iuliiaposelskaia4495
@iuliiaposelskaia4495 Ай бұрын
How did you do this scene in the center of the square? Wow it looks like courage to me! I do self-sabotaging and self-isolating all the time, definitely can relate😅😢. Your editing is 10 across the board as always!
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
I went in the morning and then came back when it was busy :D I think the fact that we realise we do it is the first step to controlling it more and finding some good alternatives :) I find the self-isolation hard to tackle because this is just how I rest, I could totally see myself living somewhere under a mossy rock haha
@iuliiaposelskaia4495
@iuliiaposelskaia4495 Ай бұрын
@@lostinadmiration I know!! I’d be your mossy rock neighbor hahaha
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
@@iuliiaposelskaia4495 that would be so nice! meetings over tea or berry picking like proper Hobbits :)
@praveenpv1115
@praveenpv1115 Ай бұрын
quality over quantity !!
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
did I pass the test? :)
@praveenpv1115
@praveenpv1115 Ай бұрын
@@lostinadmiration the quality of the video speaks for itself !
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
@@praveenpv1115 thank you - means the world
@KasiaZalucka
@KasiaZalucka Ай бұрын
I've seen one of your videos a long time ago, super happy that KZfaq brought me back here - subscribed! Najwięcej witaminy mają polskie dziewczyny! 🤍❤
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Jak milo ❤ mam nadzieje, ze sie co nieco nauczylam od ostatniego razu, chociaz dalej przed kamera to nie jak ryba w wodzie haha :) mam nadzieje, ze cos Ci sie jeszcze spodoba! pozdrawiam!!!!
@mansoor3159
@mansoor3159 Ай бұрын
Many Many Congratulations Dear on 30K Subscribers I am so so so happy for you and you deserve many more to come😘🥹🥰✨
@lostinadmiration
@lostinadmiration Ай бұрын
Thank you so so much! Your support means the world! Thanks for being here from the very beginning too :)
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