Straight guy. Not sure how I ended up here, but the algorithm finally did me a solid. I really enjoyed this very funny and very enlightening discussion. btw, men who say things like "you just haven't had the right "man", I'd love to be there for when the tables are turned and the woman responds with, "maybe you haven't had the right man".

As a 28 yr old that had been out as bi since high school but never had a relationship with a woman until 3 months ago, this podcast has been everything for me. It’s helped me unbox things I didn’t even know I needed to and pushed me to realize I’m a lesbian 💓💓 Now insanely in love with my girlfriend and excited to continue uncovering new ways to love and new feelings to be had

When I began discovering myself at first I thought I was bi, but what finally made me realize I am a lesbian was that I could go out with a guy but imagining living the rest of my life with a man made me wanna cry.

Ali’s comedy skills top tier

Holly shit!! So relatable… both, having an intense relationship with a best friend who is straight , but get jealous if someone shows interest in you.. and to coming out all the time and getting a head in the initial conversation

I relate to this so much. There was a girl who was my best friend in high school. She was in an abusive relationship with a guy. I had the biggest crush on her. One night she messaged me saying that she had feelings for me and asked if I thought we could be together someday. I was over the moon. (I was young and dumb and too happy to think before I acted) Fast forward, she strung me along for over two years (I’m so embarrassed) She stayed in a relationship with that guy. It became unbearable. I also had some problems at home (religious parent vs gay kid…you know how it is 🙄) I moved to California. She ended up breaking up with the guy and immediately entered a relationship with one of her best guy friends. Turns out I wasn’t the only one she was talking to like that. Fast forward in time: Proud lesbian here. Living in Chicago. One of the gayest cities ever!

This just gives me so much life and validation in my own straight girl best friend trauma! Not here for people confusing us the hell out of our minds from always wanting everything from us but never giving much back! Always love the good honest and open juju here! Find yo people💕💕🔥🔥🔥

I don’t know who Ali is but this is possibly the most condensed and profound wisdom that was personal, vulnerable and self aware and I related very very strongly to it all. Beautifully done both of you ❤️. I look like 15 years younger than I am and super high energy and always either on an airplane or at raves, concerts, theatre, opera, weird arty exhibitions etc etc. All amazing places to meet amazing women but I ended up always attracting straight women just coming out of a breakup/divorce, or 22 yr olds who were not ready for a relationship & just wanted a LOT of exciting fun! And I thought it was a badge of honor that I was everyone’s first and that they trusted me so much. Except only now do I realize it had nothing to do with how “cool” I was or the activities I did were but more about how unavailable I was and how deeply I probably felt I didn’t deserve a serious relationship. So now I’ve decided to just be single until I’m able to meet a person who’s not into immediate sizzling chemistry. But more of a longer burn.

It's like I'm hearing myself out. I just needed to listen to this! Ali you're representing a lot of us in here.

I honestly look forward to watching this podcast’s episodes. The conversations/topics are so relatable and it’s nice to hear others talking about them. Ali is absolutely hilarious ✨

Ali is so quick-witted 😂I admire that

Such a great (funny) and relatable guest. Love the podcast. 👏🏼👏🏼

Yay! I love Ali's podcast and she's hilarious. She dropped some truth bombs about falling in love with your best friend. I've never heard it almost identical to my own experience. She gave me some nuggets to process. Thanks for having her on! This podcast is knocking it out of the park!

I love love the introspection in this interview. Made me think about my gay journey too. This is truly my new favourite podcast. Keep the episodes coming! xx

Regarding being chronically late, I am 55 and I promise you will never change her. Being late is actually tied to genetic personality types (MBTI). If they’re late and you can’t accept it, then you need to let her go to find someone who will love her as she is. It’s patronizing and disrespectful to tell her to “grow up”. You’re not inside her mind and body so you don’t know how it is for her. You have to accept people the way they are.

Loved this episode so much! You can see how into it Mal was, the conversation was super fun and interesting.

This is a fascinating conversation! Relatable on all the levels.

I relate a lot to the topics of conversation here. Thanks!

"I come out daily." Girl, I feel this. It's exhausting.

Absolutely loved this episode Love Ali Kolbert so much She's hilarious but also insanely insightful. Ive enjoyed getting to know you thru your podcasts as well. Thank you both for representing the Queer community and giving us content that we can all finally identify with! Wishing you both all the best in life!!! Xo Fhank

I can’t even begin to thank you for this episode, it’s like if you were reading everything that I’ve had in my brain for years and afraid of saying out loud. Thank you thank you thank you ❤

I always know it's gonna be a dope ass pod when Ali is on👊

Love Ali! Knew this would be another good one

Ali, I totally understand the anxious attachment and i am sooooo like this. Thanks for sharing. Your not alone here ❤

This is insightful. Thank you

Omg she’s exactly describing my love life. Thank you for sharing

Another great episode 👏🏿 👌🏾 🙌🏿 👍🏾 🎉😊🎉

This was amazingly raw and refreshing. Loved it ! ❤

This was such a great episode. Love Ali and her sense of humor 😂

This podcast is awesome, yea habits total get it. Much needed insight.

Omg I was just binging these and now I’m early! So excited, I love these💗💗💗

I Love this Podcast so much ❤️❤️

So relatable as always! ✨✨✨

This was hilarious and relatable.. but also Mal your HAIR LOOKS AMAZING

This episode was brilliant! We need a part 2!

love this podcast ❤❤❤ would love to hear mathilde’s story

Outstanding!!!

I so appreciate Mal sticking up for the girlies who can’t help but run late

Ali is so funny love her this was another amazing episode of the podcast one of my favorite podcasts right now thank you for creating it ❤🌈

This is the best one, yet! The spot-on shared experiences mixed with the constant wit makes me want more Mal and Ali

This episode was transformative for me. Thank you Ali for your insight and wisdom!❤

This is so true!

I remember being so in love with so many friends and it was hell. I really hope I someday meet and become best friends with a woman who also likes women too

My sexuality has morphed a bit. I liked girls since I was little kid and that hasn't changed. But I learned I can enjoy feminine men a lot as well but it's not necessarily to the same degree as women. And in that sense I feel it's a bit unfair for me to even go there. Because I know I will just lead those men on. There is a reason why people used to say "pick a side". Cause ultimately you're gonna side with the preference you were born with.

Wow! I adore Ali Kolbert. She is very, very witty and so funny. Where can I see her perform?

Seriously, she’s so damn cool. Great conversation and such a funny guest. So relatable, I’ll be mulling this over! And checking out her comedy, too! Thanks! ❤

This is wild and so insightful

Hahaha loved this 💕

Absolute perfect mix of wit, humour and intellect! Ali you're fayyahhh 🔥

You are awesome! Thank you for being you and making this incredible show

cannot tell you enough how grateful i am for this podcast

loveee Ali, thanks for bringing her on

Omfgg pls be back for the podcast cause i laughed so much. So fuckin theraputic 😭

Fully agree with the idea that there is something very appealing to the fact that to get a girl you need to put in effort versus getting a boy where usually you only sit and wait for him to do all the work.

7:17 I relate to that a lot. My ex boyfriend was absolutely sweet, and we had a lot in common. But I knew that it wasn’t working for me, and I wanted to be with a woman instead.

I married a straight girl, we have been together 23 years now

I wish the curious people can be more upfront about their hesitance, and learn more about biphobia! Everyone should, but esp for them to see how they could potentially hurt others without ever taking responsibilty for it

THANK YOU! NUFF SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I always figured that hooking up with someone who is cheating on their partner is just as bad as cheating but most people seem to think it's fine so idk

Finally a queer podcast revolves around mental health, healthy relationship and personal growth! Thank you for doing this, Mal.

lmao she’s so hilarious. I’ve been laughing every couple seconds. How am I going to survive till the end.😂

Love ali!!🫶

I agree with Ali about being late!! Can’t stand it! If a girl’s late to more than one date I’m done.

when is jayme aiden schiller's episode coming out

What Fun!!!

Having an attraction is easier than full involvement. It's so painful to get involved in a serious relationship, and then it doesn't work out. So many people think they're ready for commitment, and actually they aren't. I personally love , loving on myself. It's safer emotionally. ❤

Quando vc vai entrevistar a atriz Abella Danger? Eu moro aqui em Manaus,Am Brasil

If she made it clear she is straight then how was she leading you on if you were just friends? That sounds like a you problem.

This is my SO personal video as a ...teen 😬i'm open with my sexual orientation but i really have acttracrion for those straight or bi girl who really do not want to be with a man and its sucks bcs its just keep repeting all the time its very hard to go away of that

Have you explored gay women marrying a guy to try and prove she wasn’t gay. She refuses to act on her feelings for women. Ruined there dreams and life, took the fire out of them. 😢

There are subcultures within the lesbian culture. We each have to find the lesbian community with whom we feel a sense of belonging. I was born in 1951. Once upon a time, there would be no open lesbian discussions like this in the public sphere. All I can say is, "To thine own self be true."

Ali is hilarious - she’s been on WHGS podcast a good bit too

Renee Rapp's pretty girls is meant for Ali

I never felt for a straight girl the second I was old enough to meet other lesbians on the internet ❤️

😂you guys are soo funny

I always look for this podcast as a hopeless romantic lesbian..lately came out at 34

Hmm, being in love with your best friend in high school that you have an intense friendship with: nothing quiite like it i.e PAIN (so much intense hand holding) I dont personally recommend it. Literally that same best friend who freaked out at 16 when I brought up the gay topic, who eventually reveal mutual attraction at college and revealed we were just a fun thing. Of course she could never ever really date me, but chose to have kid with a guy and is now married to him....yeah not great feeling. But I use that experience to know what I didnt want in a future relationship with a woman. *sighs* Very funny relatable pod episode.

Yes I’ve always been frustrated about calling these girls “straight girls!”

i’ve been binge watching all these podcasts the past 3 days and i really love them, every guest brings a different vue on the whole lesbian experience and i can’t get enough 🥰 one subject i think would be really nice and interesting to talk about with someone is asexuality as a lesbian, i would love to hear more about this topic so just an idea out there ! keep being amazing and thank you so much for these ❤️

Wait Ali have you never come across a mean/rude straight woman? It all about the personality you come across, whether straight/lesbian/queer etc Dating sum1 that embraces their queerness: I'm so looking forward to that feeling😊

Related so much 😢😅

How about two ladies who is straight and falling in love with each other!! 😬😬

Regarding the "we drink Cappuccino, because it's 10 o'clock in the morning, otherwise it would have been whiskey", the legend says that a guy went into a bar (was it in England?) and he asked if he can get a whiskey at that time (10 o'clock in the morning, like in your case), and the bartender says "of course, it's 5 o'clock somewhere". I know the example is not perfect, because it's with a guy, who happens to be Slash from Guns'N Roses, but you get the point. Don't be afraid to do what you want, and you don't have to play by the social norm.

Love you Ali kolbert🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

9:07 oh to be loved by someone like that😩

Before I scroll down for great comments just wanna say bring Matilde on the show asap 😂

MAL ILY

I"m also from TX .. Raised Baptist... Raised to be straight ... had no idea i was bi or lesbian until my 30's when i met a woman i was instantly smitten over.... Everyone is Bi curious until they find out... whether its for them or not... You're dating Queer Virgins.. Also note you can be bi gay or lesbian and not have good chemistry in bed with whoever you pick that doesn't make you straight.. I think we are all born Sexually fluid and we are taught to be straight.. its natural to be curious... Its natural to evolve..

A straight woman who gets jealous when her lesbian friend finds a girlfriend, is simply frustrated that they no longer can control and gaslight that lesbian friend. I fell in love (hard) with a straight girl when I was a Senior in high school, and she proceeded to spend the entire school year playing games with my heart and gaslighting the crap out of me. It was mental and spiritual torture. Fast forward 40 years, this month, I have been in a 20 year relationship with a beautiful woman, inside and out. We’ve had and continue to have an extraordinary life together. Crazy thing is, I still have dreams from time to time, about that long ago straight “friend” coming into my current day life, trying to have me fall for her again. Even in my dreams, I tell her I’m not available and am very happy with my wife.

Has she been on Ashley Gavin's podcast yet?

I’ve been in love with a female friend of mine, but I’m not sure she is straight, but it was quite complicated. We were very friends and I got very sad after everything went down the hill… I think she wasn’t ready but at the same time wanted me to be there, at the end I acted like didn’t care and she got hurt I guess… I regret our friendship ended, I still thinking it shouldn’t have to be that way but she did pushed me away after maybe I broke her heart by not taking her seriously because she had a boyfriend who lived quite faraway… but anyways. I did put myself first but maybe I hurted her and I’m still deeply sorry, I really wanted to fix the things and be friends but she probably felt rejected… I think she was very confused and maybe she thought that I became an asshole for going out with other girls 😅 but I mean I needed her to show her that I’m free cause she didn’t wanted to have something with me when I told her… so who knows what actually happened in her mind, it tought she wanted a friendship.

maybe you can record another hour of Ali psychoanalyzing her relationships because I need some help falling asleep

You two are beautiful women you can easily imagine male or female being attracted to you. But what about ugly or fat people do they struggle even more I mean if ya'll struggle imagine their closet

Has Ali ever posted a photo with her current girlfriend?

Interesting

once dated a girl who said she “normally goes for straight women cause they don’t get attached” should’ve ran but still pursued her thinking i would change that💀

Object impermanence Omgg relatable

I've been there a lot of times crushing on my straight friends🙈

Women rock, period. 💜💕💜💕

Sexual experimentation is normal and exciting emotions. As an adult, communication is key. Maybe you want to hook up for a singular experience, so own it and say it before it happens. Falling into an unrequited sexual relationship is not based on one's sexuality. True that coming to terms with one's sexuality is not always an easy, clear path, but as both articulate in this podcast one is aware when wanting to be with another person (in this case, a female not a male). Be authentic..."I know what I want" or "I don't know what I want, but would like to try this with you." Intimacy is not gender specific or inherent to sexuality. Healing intimacy is based on trust, consent, and chemistry. Labels are limiting. Be yourself. Be proud of yourself. Lesbianism is my inclination, my preference, and my identity. Everything physical about a woman turns me on, and I have found sexual pleasure with men. If that challenges your perception of me that is something for you to process. Not my monkey or circus.