Leslie Knope did it better

Kurtis reuploads my vids and has made millions of my hard work! and never has given me credit.

​@@ville__lemme fix that for you: Kurtis re-uploads my videos and makes millions off of my hard work. And has never given me credit! You illiterate-

Followed shortly by someone from a middle of nowhere town remembering the last time a federal politician showed up

@@ville__ sure buddy

''So we have a few positions available in our company right now, a HR manager, a marketing executive, a PR coordinator and a sales representative'' ''Great, I'll take em all'' 😃

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit

And you know you can just take a government job. You know there's no hiring process or vetting process whatsoever.

​@@soapygirl83Just like irl

He wasn't dating her then. Only grooming her as a trusted older brother figure, presumably

@@willywonka7812 ive also heard, allegedly, that he was her youth pastor and thats how they met. oh boy.

@@RoseWhitmoreYou know bro pulled the “God planned for us to meet”

I'm fourteen and I wouldn't even date a fourteen year old 😭

​@@Peevee-xs4xqur so real for that (im also 14)

It's called projection lol

Every conservative accusation is a confession

@@kalynw2490 for real

it would be normal if he start to asking her for dating when she's already 18

@@edba1.037 It's a classical case of grooming, dude. Make "friends" with them while they're still a child in order to shape them into your perfect little plaything, then ask them to marry you on their 18th birthday. Disgusting.

literally insane move

watched morbillion times

Kurtis should get them to legally show a link to his video as proof lol

at first I thought they meant just 10😭

In real life they would have appointed someone who hadn't been screwing farmers with their consent.

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me creditb

@@ville__no... kurtis steals MY vids!!!

@@ville__bro kurtis is literally in the video? like i know you’re a bot or whatever but this is so stupid

in real life there would be a whole senate confirmation process

Senator: that tik tok, can that access my home wifi?! CEO: Uhhh, yea. It needs the internet to work. A very dumbed down recreation of an actual question and the response asked by a Senator to the CEO of Tik Toc.

That and a politician being appointed to secretary of x without any prior experience or qualifications in the field.

while i really dont like this people, id like to play devils advocate: being stressed, for example about a movie that you are playing the lead in that might do horribly, can affect your sleeping patterns and cause Insomnia, so it might be a bit more logical than it seems

⁠​⁠​⁠@@RoseWhitmore Yeah, I think that’s probably what happened lol. Probably stressed from the many things filming a movie would make you stressed about, had lots of trouble sleeping because of said stress, and then finally got some sleep when the cause of the stress went away and thanked god for it instead of connecting any dots

Also how would you know when someone fakes having insomnia? Like unless you live with someone then how would you know if they are telling the truth or not I'm not intending to start a fight just curious

​​@@kalynw2490 It's not so much that anyone knows her exact experience, but more so that insomnia isn't something that just "goes away". That's why the replies aren't denying that she was having sleep issues, simply arguing that it most likely wasn't insomnia- and was instead a case of far more common, and less chronic, stress induced sleep issues.

@@kalynw2490 "Also how would you know when someone fakes having insomnia?".....If they're a Christian, easy: If words are coming out of their mouth they're lying.

That’s not funny. He likes them younger.

OH MY GOD

BYEE

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit

NAH💀

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit

Unfortunately, the laws in many states may be on his side on that one. Child marriages with parent's permission are legal, and the crowd he appeals to is the type of crowd who would give their daughters hand to a "good christian man"

A Very Statutory Christmas

@@billbill6094 It's fucking vile. But yeah, the drag queens reading stories to kids and gay books are the ones "grooming children." Absolutely deplorable

@@billbill6094🤮

Speaking as someone who doesn't enjoy them, but will watch them with friends and family who like them, 2.5 hours of a romcom would kill me lol.

Unless it’s a Bollywood movie-

I believe he was her 'youth pastor', or some such ghastly christian americanism. Honestly mate, I ask you.

@@angelamaryquitecontrary4609 that makes it so much worse holy shit

@@tranzpaprika Yes, he managed to look pastor youth. ( Past her youth - geddit?)

@@angelamaryquitecontrary4609 god damnit why did that actually make me laugh

@@tranzpaprika I'm so sorry, Tranz. I just couldn't resist it: call it a mum joke if necessary. I WAS going for something complex and sophisticated about Louis Pasteur, but then I thought No, can't be arsed. I was also going to attempt something special with madeleines and tisane and Proust and everything, but then I also thought No, can't be arsed. Also, no way Trump would eat a cake as small as a madeleine.

nominative determinism

My home ec teacher was called Miss Baker and used to teach us how to bake stuff

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit

LMAOO

Me and my friend were joke reading "Hopeless" (another colleen hoover book) and the main characters friends name is Six. Her original name was Seven but she changed it to Six because she didn't like the name Seven. I had to try so hard not to use the book as kindling

Eating rats and opposing Christian Baker from what Kurtis has said so far

I headcanon eggnog actually burrows out of the walls and only comes back to the basement when they’re looking

@@ciphergacha9100 mice and rats are different things. fake eggnog fan.

Actually, there was pushback, but he locked the comments and banned all the sane people.

@@babos77what is there to laugh at? its just disgusting

And of course the use of the term friendship was not to be subtle but used in the way people call their wives their best friend.

many levels of wrongness with this😭

Her parents failed her 😔

hello random check mark that i have never seen nor heard of

i know this guy!

😂😂😂

​@@ayo32wtf is the checkmark for?

OT!

EGGNOGG

YES

He was 23 when the became "best friends". Why is he not in jail?!

UnFun Fact: He is from Germany and it's pretty much legal. I'm from Europe and the age of consent is 15. No limits. You can be 68 and have a 15yo girlfriend. There was a couple on 'Wife Swap' here where the dude groomed his bride after meeting her on Facebook when she was 14. They were on Wife Swap when he was 45 and she was 17. They had kids. Completely legal mind you. Not even a big outcry followed. It was just a normal episode. If someone ever tells you Europe is some kind of a utopian heaven, they are wrong. There are so many things the US does better.

@@mikyto7313 I'm from Germany too and I don't understand why that's legal 😢

FRR

i guess the only thing we can hope for is that she leaves or the abuse doesn't get any worse than that;;

​@@egg4666hope it doesn't get worse? Did you miss the part where he's using her body to grow his next victim??

@@xp8969 no I didn’t mean to disregard that at all. Sorry.

Ignorance is bliss, or some sh** like that.

Kurtis lied about the age gap it’s maximum 4-5 years

I would watch that in theaters

why is danny in brackets lmao

@@balls_gaming at the time I made the comment, only kurtis and drew had both posted videos about the worst Christmas movies ever, but I wanted danny involved

🤮 literally disgusting

oh my god that poor girl and now that poor baby:( I hope they make it out of there one day

ok i know this is serious and i definitely agree with you but the phrase "joshua and his young ass wife" is so funny out of context for no reason

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me creditb

​@@ville__ who?

No kidding 21+ or 25 with a fully developed brain and experience. Like how did anyone reason 18 being an adult??????

It's something the german law is very lacking in. Here, a 14 year old can basically be with anyone older as long as it's "not forced" and their parents consent. It's a horrible law but with the majority of the government holding "christian values" (and generally aren't good people), it's hard to make them change it.

@@erickmiranda3600no 🤦 Do the math. He was dating her when she was 14, and “finally 18” is what a pedo says when they finally don’t have to worry about getting arrested for statutory rape

@@joearnold6881 talking about laws

Maybe we should get that law for Christmas instead

NAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

bah humbug

Scrooge would be Jealous of Them.

She’s not like every girl 🤪

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit

@@RepentandbelieveinJesusChrist5amen

🤯

Big brain

⁠@@laluneroihope at least a little bit of light shines for you in this holiday season 💛 you deserve it

Kurt I’m begging you to pin this comment it’s so fucking funny

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me creditb

To be fair, not one person indoctrinated and white enough to appear in or enjoy a movie like this knows how to pronounce Allah correctly

All this time I literally thought he was saying Allah for Christmas and I was honestly so confused

💀

Omg I was just thinking this!

Whatever the movie Allah for Christmas is I 100% guarantee it would be better than this movie.

He even plans a series about masculinity

​@@mae_raNothing more masculine than taking advantage of teenage girls naivete to coerce them in to a baby trap marriage, right mine fellow alphas?

​@mae_ra oh geez... can't wait for Kurtis' take on that 😂

@@mae_ra masculinity is when you commit sex crimes

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit

The background music also doesn’t help

My first thought was wondering who left Eggnog out of the attic? 😰

The way that “I eat MICE! I eat MICE for DINNER!!” takes me out with laughter literally every single time, it is hurting me

The way he says "I've never seen the Sun" kills me

God I can’t stop laughing make it stop please 😭😭😭😭

Omg you're so right 😭 who IS he

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit

@@ville__man that sounds like a skill issue ‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥

@@ville__ good.

@@ville__ive seen you multiple times spam trolling in youtube comments section and its such a waste of space + very cringe 😔

I would enjoy that. I really dislike how these sorts of movies portray city dwellers as greedy, mean, and shallow, while glorifying small town residents as a moral contrast.

@@whateverlolawants And as someone born, raised ,and still in a small town, i promise we can be just as shiftless, degenerate, and shallow as any urban.

Write it

@@imlosthelpc2096 Already doing so :D Hoping I can somehow convince Eric Andre to be part of it

big city businesswoman meets man in small town and convinces him to come with her instead

gotta love how hypocritical conservatives are 🤗

because their definition of 'Political' is non-straight, non-white people.

To be fair, you don't know if the writers of the movie are part of the "they are making everything political" crowd. Instead, they could be part of the "let's make everything political" crowd. Don't get me wrong, this movie sucks, but don't be too presumptuous.

It's unfortunately impossible for something to not be political due to what has been made political. Some people are political simply by existing. I feel like it has gotten worse with social media.

Also to be fair, the movie is the cookie-cutter plot of big mean lady goes to caring town and learns to abandon dumb office politics (or actual politik) for cozy comfy ranch world, so it’s kind of trying to escape it?

He probably wasn't naked

Kurtis literally re uploads my vids and has never given me any credit 😑

what are you talking about. how would that even work hes legit in every single one of his videos@@ville__

You can straight up see his red shorts when Eggnog popped up again at 23:15. 😂

@@loonemist Kurtis literally re uploads my vids and has never given me any credit 😑

Good ol’ uncle Kurt

Uhhh i think you mean EGGNOG

And Joshua Wesely is the radicalized MAGA cousin that your family is fine with you hanging out with some reason

@@agustinortega5688errrm! that was a real unicorn bacon moment! ☝️ With the sauce! /j

​@@skraphashobbiesTook the words right out my mouth 😂

Yours is the best comment I've read so far, and so spot on. "Silly woman. Work no make you happy. See how bitter you are because of work? Meet man to work for you. Be happy. Stay at home for man. Simple life."

Kurtis literally re uploads my vids and has never given me any credit 😑;

@@ville__zesty pop you don’t _have_ any videos 💀

it's a bot@@DarkShadic9632

You forget about the homes in the movie that has no traces that anyone actually lives in in them because they’re sets on a movie therefore making people shameful about the status of the audiences real house!

I love the one where they had to make a law to ban women from grabbing a man's balls if he started a fight with her husband lmao many Christians think the laws in the Bible were ahead of their time

Ikr

Don't forget about Danny!

I love watching my favorite KZfaqrs suffer by watching the most terrible Christmas movies 🫶

This is my version of watching holiday movies every year

Its the reason for the season. Better reason than some jewish carpenter that said some good stuff and some bad stuff LOL

So many shades of white!

deck the halls with shades of pale apparently

Makes sense, the Guy literally has a video explaining why Jesus would apparently vote for Afd, so we know what he votes for. And so you know, the Afd is incredibly racist, homophobic, transphobic, classist and has certified Nazis in it.

hey now, there was a black guy at the beginning!

Hey one is blonde and one has brown hair!

I JUST WATCHED THE VIDEO AND NOTICED THIS

@@Aqua.oTWAS CRAZY

wdym?

@@NessShrug-yq9lk in matpats goodbye internet video, he showed how a bunch of the youtubers he loves reference his "just a theory" catchphrase, and kurtis was one of them

Farmer? I hardly know 'er! 🤠

So many conservatives want this farmer/Amish/1600s type of “aesthetic” so badly, but don’t actually want to be that. That description probably made no sense, but I kind of hope people still know what I mean.

No, no, it made sense. Thank you for that, I'ma use it now ​@@RebaMcImTired

Im a farmer and this is nothing similar to my experience but maybe thats just because these people are americans 😂

​@lacy.x0 lol no, the director just doesn't know what real farmers are.

Yo she’s pregnant now. they posted last month. so fucked up

​@@natlchanoh my God say sike right now

Makes me sick

@@natlchan Please say sike

Can someone call CPS or the FBI or something on these people??

One of my uncles has 4 boys and they’re all named some version of his name, John

I was thinking the same thing! 😂

Jeff and Jeff the second

Jeff and Geoff

My uncle has two sons named Ralph, but they have different middle names. Not twins unfortunately

She saw a child crying and completely changed her personality without any actual character development, she has such a good heart ❤❤❤

kurtis reuploads my vids for the money and never has given me credit

@@dk0t127 sounds like my mom tbh

She saw a child crying and decided to change careers and spend her entire life savings on finding the cure to cancer, she's so wholesome ❤❤❤

@@ville__ bro what

how much you wanna bet there's a significant age gap with her parents too lmao

@@lizek3515 how much you wanna bet they think drag queens are the p3dos

Being FRIENDS with adults when you're a kid/pre-teen/kid is fine. It actually helps to prevent grooming when you have healthy relationship with adults when you're a minor, because it helps you recognize that the behavior is weird and go tell someone about it. But mr. "Finally 18" who PROPOSED a month later was not a friend and that girl's guardians definitely failed her. It's just sad.

⁠@@NO-gh7yl adults should be *friendly* to children, but never *friends* with them. friendship implies a dynamic of mutual support, which should never be expected of children to provide. a child should be able to go to a trusted adult for guidance and support, but adults expecting that same emotional investment from children is definitely unhealthy. an adult can be a mentor, or a teacher, or a kind neighbour, or an empathetic parent, but never a true friend to a child. (obviously when the adult and child in question are both teenagers or relatively close in age this doesn't really apply- an 18 year old can have a genuine friendship with a 16 year old. the power difference between them is basically nonexistent)

I agree. Nuances matter. So do boundaries. ​@@gaymiens

Right? I hate this guy.

Yes, the exact moment the clock struck midnight on her 18th birthday he realised he was attracted to her, and not a moment before.

he has posts of them on his Instagram from 2017 where he calls her his girlfriend she was like 15 then 🤮

@@mchll7410 Sickening

Guys, when people say "you've been my best friend for x years" they are explicitly saying they've been together that long. Referring to your partner as your friend for many years is common. He was not being quiet or sneaky about the fact they were dating when she was 14, he was straight up saying they were dating when she was 14.

Yeah, like… was the comment about him having seen the lemonade before a reference to that? Lol

I mean simply's good and all but when kurtis said "her finest lemonade" I expected it to be homemade? esp bc in these xmas movies everything is always a "secret family recipe"

@@ByzantineDarkwraiththat was my immediate thought lol, like it was a passive aggressive comment about how it’s a lame thing to bring to a dinner party. But considering what kind of movie this is, I’m pretty sure Kurtis had it right.

Exactly , it is hard to put it in a glass bottle?

@@user-pt8rq7wv8v maybe she's secretly the heiress to the simply lemonade fortune lol

And then imagine being his therapist and having to sit through all of the bible lore “It’s all started in Jerusalem…” 😂

@@Marmar-no6 💀

I do now. Thank you.

Lmfao

Now imagine commenting something oringal

Stop I saw this. I thought I was going insane too

I second this

we should cancel him again for this

wasnt that the christmas video last year? 😭

@@egh__lmaooo I remember when he got cancelled for not giving us the extra greeting and it began TRENDING 😭

@@justagalwhocomments that shit was so funny man

Cuz he didn’t leave his phone in the car for her to sneak thru it.

that was unironically the best acting in the movie

okay not bad

It is hilariously wrong on how the government works, but I guess the Groomer in charge of this whole thing is German and was too busy chasing after children to glance at the wiki page for the US Gov’t.

When Kurtis said the main character was the Secretary of Agriculture for the US I did a double take! Like it’s not a difficult thing to research. No one gets a cabinet position without getting approval from the Senate.

@@langleymneely That plotline made me so mad. You don't just waltz into being 9th in line for the presidency "as a surprise." And yes, the Secretary of Agriculture is 9th in line for the presidency. And then having her do PR? That's not their job! I don't know what their job is, but it's not that! It's so lazy. Like, just have her be promoted to "head of PR for the USDA." Boom. That's probably a job. I didn't look it up, but at least it's not as obviously stupid.

Her being introduced at a podium like a new COO at a shareholders' meeting was crazy. Who would the person introducing her even be? The president? Just a guy in a suit?

They were like "uuuuh what do they like in the bible belt? God and corn? Make that a 2 and a half hour movie"

Absolutely. This is more of a pro big farm movie than it is a christian movie.

Kurtis Conner reuploads my vids for money and has never given me any credit!😐

My favorite thing about real farmers is how they always vote republican, which are the ones destroying farming lol.

​@@ville__ whomp whomp

Saaaame

see yall there 😭

hell is a terrible place , nothing is worth going to hell for. Jesus is the way , the truth and the life ❣️

@@that_one_kayla8552 If he's gonna send me there for laughing at a joke then I don't really have much of a say in the matter.

Cannot stop laughing at that part of the video xD

Great job getting through the holidays! I get to watch Kurtis and have a giggle while I get ready for my shift

Watching Kurtis and enjoying some pizza on my lunch break at work.

@@Horrorbotyt I hope it goes well!!

NGL you are lucky. I’m working overtime over the holidays including full shifts today, tomorrow, and on Christmas Day

I gotta work today and tomorrow 😢 Just glad I didn’t get put on the Christmas Eve shift, I would’ve been kinda pissed.

I nearly choked to death from laughing at that!😂

By "best character", do you mean just in this video, or "of all time"? Anyway, in either case, I agree with you.

Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me creditb

@ville__ No, he doesn't, you weird little man. You have one post, and it's a placeholder for boring old, regular hate speech. Kurtis didn't steal it, borrow it, look at it, or even know of its existence.

⁠@@ville__bro you’re a bot you don’t have any content

Oh god ive just realised im eggnog..........

​@@cartooncrazy9883you're not eggnog if you think it's you 💀 you're some wannabe "quirky crackhead" middle schooler

Curtis reuploads my vids for the money and never has given me credit

​@@ville__that's funny lol😂

@@ville__ "Curtis" lmao

OMG ITS HER

HUH

what's a tent revival?

idk what she means by "not sleeping" i guess a lot of people just mean they slept badly, only a few hours, not feeling rested at all. Not impossible of course, but over 3 days without sleep is already pretty detrimental. But yea she probably lied anyway. After 48h or so you mostly start hallucinating. I once was awake 55 hours idk how and it wasn´t pretty.

That’s mental health issues babeyyy

no he is most certainly pregnant

@@aSuperAmazingFrog when was the announcement??? 😱

@@aSuperAmazingFrog can’t wait for the pregnancy video!! Wishing him luck through his journey 🙏

stop reposting this stupid comment

not if i intervene

dear god, it all makes sense now... or it would if that wasnt an insane thing to do

its so common in those movies that whenever one came on tv, my mum and i would guess rhe plotpoints and what happened when and we were right 90% of timea

That is hilarious Let me join

put some kinda fucked up religious imaginary in there. "The man I kiss is the one you're looking for." says Rudolph as Christian finally gets arrested.

Im so here for that honestly

hi let's make it happen

Thought you were going to say "we'll all agree on that the movie is amazing and never listen to arguments on that", because that's what some fandoms do

The Kardashians Christmas edition 🎄

Nomygod 🥲 poor kids! I can only imagine that convo- "My kids are named Frankie, after frankincense; Goldie, bc gold, and Myrrh, after 👹myrrhdur👹"

omg 😭

⁠@@illi6378myrrhdur 😂😂😂

@@Kiisara18 👹❣️ myrrh fyrrhvorite

kurtis reuploads my vids for the money and never has given me credit

@@ville__good

that checks out honestly

Holy shit