The knife could be great if it breaks after a single use, like, yeah you could kill anything... but then you have a tarrasque in your face

The dagger of Desecration is the perfect tool! use it only any problem, BOOM, now you have a different problem!

Repeat until whole world is covered in dead tarrasque.

thats a lot of xp

Player: Maaan, fighting this [creature] sucks! I wish we were fighting something else instead… DM: Boy do I have an item for you!

At least you know they really undercooked your steak!😂

If you successfully eat a tarrasque it will technically give you infinite calories. That's way more than just a steak. That's a profit in my book.

@@xCCflierxor it’ll kill you

Waow, new pet

You should just give it as a gift to some noble you want to fuck over

Could be useful to detect a disguised giant maybe? Possibly?

I tuned my own one of these perfectly through the rigorous process of pancake making

I need this

I mean, it's still way better than my Ring of Non-Magical Fire Detection - it's only got a range of Self. ☹️

paperweight (metal) wonderous item, artifact this small metal statue depicts a knight wielding a sword and shield

A commoner (assassin), no less.

Commoner 1, Sorcerer 19

No greater injustice in this world than this not being top comment

​@@kameron1130The nefarious commoner dip:

and you are also fighting homebrew monsters with homebrew spells and homebrew classes

Only if baby of darkness was in the one shot

I've always wanted to run a one-shot where the party has a barrel full of 100 random wands. No way for the party to know what wand does what until they use it!

the BBEG is Aphrodite, and they know Urararourururus Destroy Everything.

@@kadnhart6661Someone in my party in the last session dipped his daggers into random potions, so in order to see what would happen when he stabbed someone our DM rolled on the wild magic table.

Swiss army sword

The return of the double club!

I would allow a player to use this as long as they say the full name of the weapon whenever it is used or mentioned.

@@philippegauvin-vallee9371 Only if they say it by memory.

_“What are you talking about? It’s perfectly balanced!”_

big Flaming Poisoning Raging Sword Of Doom energy

@@SkelexIsHere Garfield must have all of these items

But shouldn't a truely classist sword also reject being used by a commoner? I mean, I dig the thought of a classist sword actually being a weapon of class war.

@@Taliesin2 I think that's what it also implies with the term "Well-bred".

Alternatively: Sword of the Proletariat Gain disadvantage when attacking any member of the working class Gain advantage when attacking any member of the bourgeoisie. If a bourgeois dies to this weapon by decapitation, you regain X hit points (idk how many would be balanced, maybe character level?)

Not going to lie I am going to spawn this blade in my next session, the day after tomorrow. If anything because in the party there's a veritable Loot Goblin, and this will be hilarious for a start

​@@violet7773alternative name: OUR SWORD. It plays the Soviet Anthem (instrumental) on every successful hit

Found Kira

Now all I can think of is a crazy man giving me a severed hand and saying: "here, take this human claw".

Nah, a claw is just a fingernail. Doesn’t even have to be whole, it could be like a loose nail clipping that fell into your PC character’s bag because your Arakocra teammate was clipping his nails next to everyone’s bags at the campfire last night.

Hand of the Mage, 900gp.

Oh good, one more for my offering to bhaal

I love that. That actually makes it cool, while not too op because niche. Good job!

Wait that’s actually good.

I could see that item being a good little folk charm kinda thing. Maybe it sits on a necklace with a few other bits and bobs that have other small magical uses (resistance to minor burns, bundle of bugbear hair for good sleep.) Maybe you can make it so that you burn these items like incense to use their effects? And it effects all who smell it

@@jakebarry8456 I question the use of a magic item that stops one fall from being deadly, if you need to stop halfway through the fall to burn it. Haha

Still horrendously weak. There is an item called Ring of Feather Falling which makes you immune to falling damage, period. It's a Rare item, and not considered a very good one. Dried Bird's Claw is supposed to be an *artifact* and it gives immunity to one fall per week. If it was a common item it would be too weak

Honestly. People who put items on amazon for sale don't know the value of brevity.

@@undvined But they do know the value of verbosity. SEO. Now if you look up ANY of those terms, you get their worthless item advertised. And until Amazon penalizes titles in SEO based on wordcount, it is still the best option to make your product's name longer than the average light novel title.

@@falsnamae3511 That's true, I hadn't considered that.

I work in an Amazon warehouse. The worst I've seen is "CHO POWER SPORTS Adjustable Hovercart Hover Kart Hover Cart HoverKart Go Kart for Hoverboard Seat Attachment Electric Self Balancing Scooter for Kids (black)" I took a picture so I'd never forget it.

@@Majima_Nowhere This reads like an AI prompt or something, here, lemme just input every single possible spelling of the words "Hover" and "Kart" just to _really_ make sure the toaster understands that I want a goddamn "HOVER. KART."

Same as the sentence about adding your proficiency bonus to the attack roll

also it's *always* "a", so you have to reword your phrase so that it starts with a consonant

I mean it seemed pretty clear to me. The box just tells you to put in what class is required for attunement

This seems to be also what is happening with a weapon randomly mentioning proficiency at the end.

Same

Thank you! It IS just +100. Also does 100d30 dmg. And 40 ac.

​@@Kantilvih The f**k is a d30?

As another David, I think it’s an excellent idea. Really spices up the whole thing

@@CommunistKangarooa dice with 31 sides

@@TheTyranidHiveMind ... imma let you figure out why that is incorrect.

B E N O T A F R A I D

Fair, it is useful to reduce fall damage up until 5 feet above a X*10ft threshold. Not totally bad lol

This also implies there is an unavoidable 12ft climb on your weekly grocery run. I know real estate is atrocious right now, but that's ridiculous.

Wouldn't you want a broom of flying instead, since both are wondrous items?

@@exantiuse497 sure but you gotta ride the broom, right?

How u gettin home tho?

Call it Benzino's Chainz

Makes you immune to being hanged tho.

I read this comment and received 3d6 psychic damage. (though halved, as I am an experienced DM)

​@@ShiningDarknes with the big brain

Sounds like side effects of a new Pfizer product.

Underrated comment lmfao

or, use te Tarasque as a weapon against another country. Sneak in, stab some random guard or something and boom, they have a whole Tarasque to deal with and you can nope out

Dagger of Infinite Tarrasques

There is only one tarrasque.

@@ShiningDarknes not with this dagger there is.

@@AkrimaSablosang you want to try that sentence again?

100% agree!!

Lotion seller, I need your strongest lotion’s, I’m going into battle 😉

The absolute (doctor) disrespect.

But the only spell it casts is called "stab" and does less damage than just stabbing someone with a basic dagger.

I mean I never understood not being able to use functional items as spellcasting focuses. The claim is that to focus the magic the item has to be frail or is made frail so magic can flow through it? But then there's magic scrolls and magic swords and magic armor and magic guns and magic giants... and paladins can use shields as a spellcasting focus. But nobody else? Seems like an outdated concept they never got rid of. So in line with that... Rune Dagger. Uncommon. Arcane focus. Dagger. This is a slightly magical dagger whose hilt contains a single ornamental gemstone. Though this weapon confers no bonuses to hit, it is considered magical for purposes of overcoming nonmagical resistance. It may also be used as an arcane spellcasting focus. 1d4 damage, light, 0.6lbs Cost... idfk, like 10 silver.

Note: Proficiency can be added to this weapon's attack roll

​@chrismanuel9768 1. there's already a basic magic item you can attach to any weapon as a pommel to do that. 2. a basic dagger is double that cost and a basic wand is 10 times that cost. 3.you can make anything a spellcasting focus by implanting a crystal focus in it.

@@chrismanuel9768 Its definitely a remnant of old flavors based on stereotypes that inspired many fantasy stories and games. Like how druids still have vague notions of not wearing metal when it doesn't make sense for all druids to be against metal use. Or how necromancers are seen as frail sickly types even by wizard standards. Focus restrictions make sense for god followers but not for regular folk.

Yeah, but I'm just as interested in it's fan art and how it's held.

I think that is a terrible idea lol

Sounds like a potion from FATAL.

Just imagine you see battler weary stoic warrior comeback to town after a long adventure and the first thing they do is piss for 2 hours

​@@culteyeoftaxfraud1143the maximum time they could piss for is just over an hour

so outside the pocket dimension, is there just a bladder sitting on the ground? and is the one inside the pocket dimension missing the bladder? imagine walking into an alley and seeing a random bladder on the ground.

@@flamewing7851 The pocket dimension has no time, space, or direction. It's just a portal and urine.

Oh just replace some training daggers, retreat to a safe distance and cook up some popcorn.

Including you. Most worlds don't have a consistent way of killing terrasques, so by the time someone manges to do it, youl probably also die

I guess you could throw it from a long distance next to a teleportation circle of some kind

​@@segadoeswhatnintendontNot unless you stab the Tarrasque with the dagger, too. That, of course, summons a different Tarrasque, but you still get the XP, which means you can find a bunch of people to set up a Tarrasque farm with until you can kill one without using the dagger.

@@HunterTracks Indeed. Just stab Tarrasques until you reach level 20. You only need one original target. Each stab summons after all. They take Necrotic damage right?

not if you have means of fleeing

@@runeanonymous9760 I think if you have means of fleeing from the tarrasque, I think you would also have means of fleeing the person that you one-shotted in the first place

Infinite xp?

DM: alright here is your choice *hands over dagger* fight my hand-crafted lich, or a tarrasque

@@lmt831 Yep, you kill it until 20 and then leave the last one while you go level up.

Great homebrew

just in time to spit it back out because of gigafuck jackhammer

yeah i was thinking about that, imagine a character jumping off a 10-14 foot roof, out of a tree, down a hole, whatever and taking no damage

@@kingofrats4944 Seems like this is an automatic -1 dice in a fall, unless we're rounding i guess. i've always just added diced after each 10 foot threshold, maybe im doing it wrong

Yeah, I would throw in little trinkets to my homebrew game with little effects like this. They normally seem absolutely useless or just pure flavor until the players get super crafty with them to solve a problem. Like the Ring of Stargazing that I made, which projected a picture of the stars above you as though you were looking at the night sky directly. Players were able to use it in an underground dungeon to orient to cardinal directions even when their compass broke. Or the spidergoat brooch that gave a goring charge action if you had a climb speed over 25ft, letting the barbarian knock a pesky enemy off the cave walls.

Thats amazing, I love how useless this makes it 😂

hear me out, put it at the end of a flintlock, use shrink magic on cannonballs and load it into the flint lock and when you shoot it, as soon as it comes out the barrel it makes a cannonball you just end up shooting siege weaponry from your flintlock LOL

It indeed has a misspelling, but what it says is "ware". So you only become immune to magic if you sell it, or at least offer it up for sale.

Intend your pun, coward. It was brilliant

Blocks spells that require seeing the target at least.

The secret element

@@Oglokoog remember in avatar when the gunbenders showed up and capped everyone

My mind just went to Persona 5.

i feel like it could easily just be a passive always active thing, its only 5ft

I was curious about that, what is it a reference to?

@@baguettegott3409 Dr. Disrespect's tweet about his inappropriate messages with a minor. He edited out the part where he admitted she was underaged - he later edited back in when people called him on it.

@@baguettegott3409 Dr. Disrespect edited out the word "minor" from a recent apology-esque tweet so that he wouldn't seem so scummy for "talking" to a minor. Wasn't expecting the reference here.

@@DeathByMinnow wow. Every time I see that dude mentioned he looks even worse. Like, EVERY time. It’s the kind of consistency most people wish their shits could have tbh

That's not a bad item at all, Just imagine a rouge with this thing, dealing 1d4 + sneak attack damage every turn.

​@@khaledahmed9136Who are building all these Rogues who can't hit the target? You only have one ability for everything.

@@apjapki Some enemies have a high AC? If you're fighting someone who's wearing plate armour and using a shield, they'll have 20 AC. Even if you have, say, a 20 in DEX and a proficiency bonus of +4, that's only a 50/50 chance to hit.

@@apjapki My man have you ever heard of +1 full plate, a +1 shield and the shield spell? That's 27 AC.

I mean that wouldn’t be bad if it was a throwing knife.

Alone with a friend is a vibe

Come on David, be a bro.

Seriously tho David, it's gotta be versatile too. Man's gotta dual wield, or he might still need a shield with that 40 AC.

Boy I sure hope somebody got fired for that blunder

And Death potion

I've only seen the start of the video at this time, if they make the same joke as me then don't bug me about it.

@@Whatiwanttowatchbrowhere-bt8iwand its somehow more useless

​@@wavierdigI wish it was as useful as the cat ring in older games

​@@wavierdigThey can fix it so easily. Just change "by" to "to" and now you have an artifact that once a week can reduce any long fall to the equivalent of a 5 foot drop.

​​@@Whatiwanttowatchbrowhere-bt8iwthey didn't make the joke, so I'm free to bug you about it.

Pot of Greed? What does that do?

what if you go belew 0? Do you get a vagina instead?

Would be better if it changed it TO 5 feet

*Addendum:* "The possession of this item is illegal in most lawful states, due to a ban from their authorities."

“but what it do?” XD

haha

bro its not that funny

blud forgot to switch accounts

@@gigabirb lol fr

@biftyboy is poopoo