Is your name Nancy?

the slightly calmer video game nerd

This feels like if the Angry Video Game Nerd became a Minecraft fan

angry rant over the soft C418 piano soundtrack funny as hell. solid video

the quite uptight interactive media enthusiast

You describe these versions and their platforms like a more monotone AVGN with more elaborate blunt jokes and it’s honestly funny as hell

Take a shot every time he says “fucking” and you’ll be dead 5 minutes into the video

22:50 "a stupid child that needs to be kept busy while you smoke" that got me

love the dry humor on this. your calm and factual delivery of "oh my god, what a disgusting pile of shit" is absolute gold

The fact that the Wii U version doesn't let you manage the inventory with the gamepad is simply baffling. So much potential that system had, only for it to not be used.

y’all can slander Wii U edition all you want, but the release of the Mario world was the hypest moment of my childhood

the angry video game teenager

Fun fact, the QWERTY system was actually designed specifically for inconvenience as typewriters often got jammed because of how fast people typed.

The video concept alone is interesting, but your expression of utter disgust made it so much more entertaining

Why is this dude so angry??? 😭

So that's why updates take so long. They gotta port minecraft on the next version of pregnancy test.

Bro swears so much I thought this video was written by Vivziepop

The neat thing with Wii U Edition is that its basically the only legacy console editoon with a modding scene

I let the Dunkin’ donut s hostages I had at gunpoint go becuz I wanted to watch this video… thanks beer men 2 thousand 5 hundred

This video is what happens when you give a call of duty veteran the task to review another game on different platforms

profanity, you've earned yourself a subscribtion

Playing minecraft on a thinkpad from 5 years ago is better than a modern chromebook

Graphical Disabilities 💀💀💀

I’ve never seen someone so passionately angry about bad Minecraft ports

What’s hilarious is that Minecraft runs amazingly on Chromebook, as long as you don’t use the one they created lol. Just use the Linux feature to get the Java edition and it runs much better with better render distance albeit not perfect. But it’s actually playable really well, and my Chromebook is not high end.

The 3ds version, though pretty bad, was my only way of playing minecraft for a few years, so I have put quite a lot of time into it, mostly in creative, making all sorts of redstone contraptions. It may kinda suck, but it's really charming in its suckyness.

4:10 it was designed so that commonly used letters were not next to each other for the typewriter.

A recent crap version of the game that I've played is the switch bedrock version. Even on the lowest render settings, you have a significant delay when placing blocks, and half the time, it doesn't even load other chunks. It will go and load the chunk you are standing in, and even that takes 30 seconds to a solid minute to load. The switch version of the game is straight up unplayable it doesn't even load properly. At the very least most of these versions are theoretically playable unlike the Nintendo switch Bedrock Edition.

Minecraft New 3DS despite being a lackluster, it is a techical masterpiece. The game runs on the device that has no business running it. It's a decent entry for what it offers and after this version, your experience will only get better from there. I couldn't blame this version to much unless you come from PC and then jump into 3DS, which is totally fair.

"managed to snag everything before it went down" aggressively winks at camera

*Raspberry Pi edition joined the game*

3:15 “anyway, the game runs like cock.” 😂😂😂bro I died laughing

Is this guy a hoarder, how does he has all this archaic pieces of hardware

Just a sidenote. The QWERTY keyboard layout was not designed for convenience. It was designed so that typewriter typebars wouldn't hit each other.

Trying to explore in Minecraft on a switch is a nightmare. Traveling by boat is apparently too fast because I will be forced to wait at the edge of unloaded chunks for up to 30 seconds just so I can go a bit furtherbefore having to wait for the switch to load chunks directly in front of me. If you want to explore and need to cross water on the switch, be prepared to wait for chunks to load every 20 blocks.

im so glad i had this on my feed today, already binged a ton of your videos, theyre so good lol keep it up!!

modded java vr is the best way to play vr

That Keemstar joke felt like a direct hit!

The way hes constantly insulting everything is so fucking funny

4:09 it's been discussed multiple times that qwerty wasn't designed for convenience. other keyboards like Dvorak were

Finally, a KZfaqr with the spirit of the AVGN but with the modern delivery that is both entertaining, funny and nice to listen to without instantly being dated. This channel is a hidden gem, keep making reviews, Angry Bearman!

I dont know why but for some reason hearing someone swear uncensored while talking about bad ways to play minecraft is so refreshing, good shit, keep it up man. Subbed.

This is a surprisingly entertaining rageful rundown. Thank you. 💯

Wii U edition is fine for what it is, but yes, ignoring the Gamepad features are awful. It is still by far the best version featured here in the video

i fucking LOVE the video. good mix of old youtuber vibes with modern youtuber elements as well, and it's an interesting topic. good stuff!!!

I remember back when I was a console edition only player and Minecraft Bedrock replaced the Switch console edition, it ran so badly that it was essentially unplayable. I was really pissed because they replaced a completely fine working version of the game with a buggy, unoptimized piece of trash.

This guy is like AVGN, but real

I used to play minecraft on kindle fire with my sister, and upon loading into absolutely anything it would get so hot my hands would burn and turn all pink

The worst way to play ever? Using a dev mode chromebook to run ubuntu 16.04 and trying to run modern java Minecraft. Thats the worst way Ive ever played. EDIT: Just found that Chromebook. With sodium and other performance improvement mods it actually runs better than bedrock edition.

This dude has OG classic AVGN vibes, before be became a sellout

"the mario mash up pack was exclusive to the wii u version" the 3ds: you forgot about me

Amazing video, I find it crazy how you have all versions lmao. Or at least thats what it looks like.

another banger from bearman, love the unhinged description too. Shocked that you didn't complain about what I think is the 3ds edition's greatest sin, the fact that you can't control the camera with the touchscreen. Using that stupid nub is agonizing and I had really expected that version to support a control scheme similar to what's in metroid prime hunters when I tried it.

honey wake up bearman just published a new 34 minute video about obscure minecraft versions

The cursing takes me back to youtube pre adpocolypse and everyone washing their content. Godspeed, you reminded me of a better, simpler time on youtube.

As someone who grinds the 3ds version alot, I can definitely say that it is a really good option if you want to feel what minecraft truly was 10 years ago. Its classic minecraft, and the controls are a little weird, but thats what i love about it. It truly gives a nostalgic vibe throughout

I love old versions of Minecraft that are frozen in time. They take me back to the good times

4:11 QWERTY was designed to stop typewriters from jamming. there are statistically much better keyboard layouts but theres no chance that people would want to give up what they're comfortable with.

I’ve not ever seen a KZfaq creator this small with this much talent, I think it’s safe to say. Super reminiscent commentary to early AVGN, really funny reads and great writing. Definitely going places.

You give big AVGN vibes. really high fucking quality video, im excited to see more.

Your bluntness is very refreshing, it reminds be of early YT, stay real man 👍🏻.

I rlly like the energy from this video. It’s like I’m listening 2 a friend rant about their hidden obsession at a blunt rotation

This video is amplified by how angry you are

i love the fact that you swear without censoring yourself or some other stupid shit youtubers tend to do. I know it might be a bit superficial but that's why i subscribed to you

This is hands down one of the best new channels I’ve seen in a while. Not some overhyped and annoying voice, not super censored, reminds me of the good old days of KZfaq. Keep this kind of energy up bro.

Wasn't expecting Interludes With Ludes to start playing, nice music choice

22:50 Yes, those garbage things. As a kid, the charging port wore out on it and they asked us to send it in and they sent us a replacement in exchange. The replacement was almost broken, so we just kept trading them in and out. When scrolling down from the top, I believe it said "My 48th Fire," or so. That's how many times we got replacements.

This channel is awesome. What's been up with the KZfaq algorithm lately, it's been recommending me the best growing channels with content like this. Keep it up dude.

You're giving me classics AVGN vibes and i absolutely love it!

this guy is the most aggressive person i ever heard of that does minecraft related content

At 4:15 Fun fact: the qwerty keyboard was not made for convinence, it was made to slow you down so that typewriters wouldnt jam as much.

couldn't catch my breath watching this vid, you're way too funny man 😭

Its so refreshing to heard "fucking" in a youtube video. Its like im watching an AVGN episode.

feels like an AVGN video, I love it.

I actually love how you never let Mice on Venus finish in that one section lmao it always loops back before the satisfying note

I often feel that content here on youtube has slowly gotten less interesting for me, that it's been gradually turning into something I put on just to shut my brain up, just make me go numb Well this video really fucking woke me up, absolute QUALITY. Feels like an early internet video in ALL the best ways, like you made it for fun and because you had something to say and your own voice do do that with (the reason people USED to make videos) Genuinely interesting topic with hilarious writing, instant subscribe. You got something special here man, and I'm hungry for more. Compliments to the chef

3:15 this line delivery is fucking golden dude

Just found your channel and I love the vibes! Instant sub.

that moment of rage you had at the keyboard layout A-Z hit deep for me dude. have not laughed that hard inna bit.

6:45 Fun fact: _every_ Glide world record is on the Wii U except for Excalibur time attack. This includes all score attack timed records, all public (online game) world records (although those are mostly me) and all time attack pure world records (except of course Excalibur which is held by Xbox One).

You're like an amalgamation of AVGN and Scott the Woz. I love it.

I got way too much of a chuckle out of the witch-filled being house casually labeled "brothel"

I love KZfaqrs that pretend to get angry over things that should cause no emotion to anyone ever. But honestly gives me Cybershell vibes so I kinda like this video

watching this as my wii u crashes for the 7th time this week this crappy sd card i use for wii u homebrew corrupted again...

Dude your video is spot on, the switch bedrock version runs awfully too sadly. I doubt it will run any better in the Future

I just found your channel and i gotta say, u sound and feel like if AVGN did modern games. Hilarious. Subscribed.

Really really well-made video, I love that you've actually played all of these versions rather than just using file footage from KZfaq, and the scripting really gives AVGN vibes (dunno if it's just me) .. subscribed, looking forward to seeing more :)

23:19 Oh wow, the Kindle Fire HD pocket edition was the first version I had as a kid way back in like 2012 or 2013 or something so that's quite a throwback! Good video btw :)

I will say that the Kindle Fire Tablet edition was the first time I got to experience Minecraft in person, since a friend across the street had the game and my brother and I watched him play a bit.

This reminds me of videos from KZfaq's prime years! Nice job dude!

Let me tell you, the house full of witches with a sign saying 'brothel' got me to ugly laugh

i will not tolerate minecraft wii u edition slander, still my main version of minecraft, legacy console da goat

I really enjoy your violently discomforted and aggressively unhappy writing, really makes me feel the crustiness of these dogwater versions. And honestly, that mojang mentality of marketability>gameplay shows damn well

i love this video and i love the tone of it! for such shitty methods of playing mc i had a lot of fun listening to you rant about them

This dude is seriously funny. Can't wait to see what else he makes.

Wait until you hear about Minecraft: Raspberry Pi edition.

You’re the guy who preserved Fire TV Edition on Reddit! Great video, however I have a weird soft spot for all these weird versions of the game. Fire TV - It served its purpose well at the time and sure it runs like “ass” now, but back then it was a nice way to play the game in a console-like format, albeit in a limited way due to it being Pocket Edition Wii U: While yes, this was wasted potential, this is a pretty decent way to play legacy console edition, the game runs better than on a PS3/Xbox 360, and the aquatic update isn’t bad at all. The lack of optimizations and local multiplayer (through gamepad and TV) is pretty bad.. but it could be much worse. Gear VR - Other than Vivecraft, this WAS the first official VR port of the game, and for its time it actually worked really well, ran well too. I wouldn’t say it made complete sense though, like why not make Oculus Quest Edition, that’s sorta dumb, so I agree with you on that. 3DS - So many people hate this version, and I get it. But it isn’t bad- at all. It runs nowhere near as well as Pocket Edition (which it’s trying to be) but it still feels… complete? (If that’s the word). This version while not updated anymore, doesn’t feel limited by its lack of support, it’s Minecraft, and despite it’s weird quirks, it actually makes this version feel nostalgic. Call me biased, but I really like this version of the game, it’s one of the few ways to play Minecraft portably and it was and still is; functional. Fire OS: Genuinely enjoyed this part (like I did every part, but I liked this part specifically) Fire Tablets are actually terrible (for gaming that is), very odd that they decided to put Minecraft on such an underpowered line of devices, back then it made a lot of sense though, and I guess it still does if you have a Fire 11 (almost 300 dollars tho hahaha). I mean in the Alpha stages of Pocket Edition it ran great, now it’s just terrible. This is kind of the thing with all these Bedrock Ports, they USED to be okay and now they just suck. It’s weird to have nowadays. Windows Phone/Windows 10 Mobile: Back in the earlier days of Pocket Edition this version made sense and it was pretty cool. It ran well and served its purpose (for a very short amount of time) Then the Bedrock version came and.. What the actual fuck, this version is actually bad. WHY- WHY PORT BEDROCK TO DEVICES THAT CANT EVEN RUN IT! Chromebook: Why the fuck do you have to pay for this version AGAIN! This version runs like shit, and I agree with you on every point here. Here’s the conclusion: Honestly, unless you’re playing versions of the game that are frozen in time (Old versions of Fire TV Edition, Old Minecraft Pocket Edition versions, Legacy Console Editions, 3DS, the fact that these versions no longer get updates is actually a good thing) then you’re fine, I actually find older versions of Pocket Edition quite fun, and I hope to find older versions of Fire TV soon. But porting Bedrock to so many devices, it’s just sad. And the experience is gross. Honestly Minecraft nowadays is only good on Powerful Phones that on the Mobile version (I hate this but whatever), Bedrock for Windows 10, and Java. It’s just depressing but it’s true, Bedrock isn’t that good anywhere but a powerful phone or a PC. I enjoyed the video a lot though, and I hope you find Apple TV Edition soon!

Bruh, the 3DS is my childhood. It was the first minecraft version I've ever played with, and i didnt even care about the details, because it was fun. Now i watched this video, and you destroyed a part of my childhood. Good job bro

These videos are like if you took the history section of avgn videos and made them the whole video. I absolutely love it.

Man's is cussing more than Ellie from tlou